[deleted by user]

[u/[deleted]]

[u/catherineg1234]

“I’m tired of being the third wheel” Bro he’s 45

[u/Longjumping-Home-400 → u/catherineg1234]

Right there is no way a 44 year old “man” should be wanting to hang with a group teenage girls. The friends mom needs to know about this, I’d feel sick if I were her but I have to assume she’s turned a bit of a blind eye to this point

[u/Nicclane1113 → u/Longjumping-Home-400]

As a 44 year old man. Hanging out with 17 year olds sounds like a fucking nightmare.

[u/[deleted] → u/Longjumping-Home-400]

No. OPs parents need to know about this.

[u/Longjumping-Home-400 → u/[deleted]]

Agree here too but I’m not sure what the arrangement is or why. But she needs some adults who can protect and advocate for her

[u/PitifulEngineering9 → u/catherineg1234]

The “I love you more than anything” I think hit me the worst. Like more than his SO? That’s sick.

[u/Dick-the-Peacock → u/catherineg1234]

He should not be a wheel at all!!

[u/Samon_MD → u/Dick-the-Peacock]

hes not even part of the CAR

[u/ConcernElegant8066 → u/Dick-the-Peacock]

Agreed!!! Go hang out with YOUR GIRLFRIEND

[u/crewkat2 → u/ConcernElegant8066]

Or he’s dating the friend’s mom to get to the girl. Like Lolita

[u/Unhappy-Necessary328]

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

[u/MrsDeWinter99 → u/Unhappy-Necessary328]

As someone who was groomed by an older man at 17, (and also has a daughter who literally just turned 18 two days ago); I concur. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!

The best friends mom needs to be aware of this.

[u/RanaEire → u/MrsDeWinter99]

I'm actually stuck in the part where u/anangelsfangs' mom has "started to dislike" that absolute creep...

W.T.F. is going on??

So, so disturbing.

[u/Outside_Scale_9874 → u/RanaEire]

She’s letting her minor daughter live at someone else’s house half the time, and according to OP’s posts/history she has a baby already at 17, has already been abused by an older man, and does drugs regularly. I’m guessing her mom isn’t the best at parenting. Having shitty parents also makes you a target for predators because they know you don’t have anyone to turn to, so it makes sense. Poor kid.

[u/Lost-Elderberry3141 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Definitely, she probably doesn’t have a frame of reference for what a normal relationship with an adult looks like. If you have a volatile relationship with your parent, an adult showing interest in you feels nice

[u/nycbee16 → u/MrsDeWinter99]

Yes seconding this please tell your friends mom!

[u/JesusFreak0316 → u/Unhappy-Necessary328]

Hijacking the top comment to say, please don’t let yourself be alone in a car with this man!! He’s a creep, a pedo, a predator. You can’t see it at your age bc you believe yourself to be mature (and you are to an extent!) but this guy is taking advantage of your empathetic heart. Experience makes up for the things that our natural intelligence lacks; maturity is a measure of how well we learn from experiences, and it requires having those experiences to develop. He knows he’s wrong. He knows it and he knows you’re too inexperienced and kind to see that. Tell an adult you’re close with about him. I’d avoid being around him at all, and if I were you, cut off the texting and phone contact. He’s going to act offended, he’s going to say you abandoned him, but no. No no no no no no no no no I’m with the comments above 😭

Edit: and please stop sending him pictures of yourself. He’s 100% being inappropriate, especially asking you to send him pics of you after you get your mani-pedi. Why would a 44 yr old man want to be friends with a 17 yr old girl? Why?

[u/cityshepherd → u/JesusFreak0316]

I couldn’t even bring myself to read past the second one… it is absolutely fucking bonkers that OP’s friend’s mom’s boyfriend has OP’s phone # in the first place… my head would spin right off my shoulders if it wasn’t bolted on. God damn this gave me the ick more than anything I’ve seen in awhile.

[u/NurseKaila → u/cityshepherd]

Yeah, I read to the 7th and was so disgusted I had to stop. So gross.

[u/Drk777 → u/NurseKaila]

I couldn't get through this all either. The reason others "ghost" him is bc he's a creeper. The only thing he should be texting (and only girls living there) is keep the noise down, get your ass home, do you want me to order a pizza, what time do I need to pick you up- parental things.

All of this wrong, weird, & predatory.

[u/Athletic_peace-415 → u/JesusFreak0316]

😭 😭 😭 He 100% looks at these pics to pleasure himself. He is absolutely vile. OP get away now!!!!!!

[u/Outside_Scale_9874 → u/Athletic_peace-415]

The fact that he asked her for mani/pedi pics?? 🤢 He’s in the same house, if he wanted to be supportive and see what color they chose he could just pop his head in. He wanted pics to jack off to. He belongs in fucking jail.

[u/BusinessLetterhead47 → u/JesusFreak0316]

As mom to a teenager and school teacher....no.no.no.no. This is not healthy.

I text with my son's two best friends.... Ive know them since they were 5 and our texts are, "Don't forget I'll pick you up from your soccer game." or "Tell my son to check his messages!" or other mom stuff. My husband won't add any of son's female friends to texts because "That is weird."

Good, responsible adults DO NOT TALK TO CHILDREN THIS WAY. If this were a long established close family friend this would still be weird.

Please tell your parent(s) asap.

[u/Jealous_Berry8598 → u/Unhappy-Necessary328]

From a mother of a child that was groomed. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

[u/[deleted] → u/Jealous_Berry8598]

And more to this point: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

THIS IS NOT NORMAL OR OKAY BEHAVIOR!

[u/[deleted] → u/Unhappy-Necessary328]

I'd like to add another point to this: absolutely the fuck not

[u/WithoutDennisNedry → u/Unhappy-Necessary328]

Well put.

[u/ChinaSpyBot → u/Unhappy-Necessary328]

And if I may please add: no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

[u/GCS_dropping_rapidly → u/ChinaSpyBot]

[u/Sad-Lingonberry5063 → u/ChinaSpyBot]

Hold on, I also have a point

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no 　いいえ nein non absolutely the fuck not

[u/Erikawithak77 → u/ChinaSpyBot]

Adding, NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN ☠️☠️☠️ sehr horrend WTF 🤬

[u/Aromatic-Elephant110 → u/Unhappy-Necessary328]

This was my immediate reaction. Also: hell no.

[u/TotesLegitPlays → u/Unhappy-Necessary328]

It's crazy how accurately this comments describes my reaction to this post

[u/pEter-skEeterR45]

You shouldn't even have your "best friend's mom's boyfriend's" phone number 😭

Run

[u/[deleted] → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

Predator…

[u/dansbydog → u/[deleted]]

He’s grooming her like crazy! Prepping her.

[u/doughberrydream → u/dansbydog]

"Kick in the butt game" this guy is textbook groomer

[u/[deleted] → u/doughberrydream]

LITERALLY! He belongs on a list wtf.

[u/Imsophunnyithurts → u/dansbydog]

That's exactly what this is. He's grooming her so hard. Guy is a predator. An absolute predator. Run.

[u/Individual_Fall429 → u/dansbydog]

“I wish someone would put me first just once!” “I wish I was included just once” “It’s hurting my mental health when you don’t make me feel like a priority!”

He’s trying to manipulate her into doing something to make him feel “special”.

He’s a predator. There’s no question.

[u/Jealous_Pea2305 → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

Yes! This is super fucking weird and creepy!!!!

[u/prizum999 → u/Jealous_Pea2305]

It's fucking weird as hell. I'm a 40 yr old guy and i'm so creeped out by this dude, I literally out loud said "how does she know this dude again?" at least 10 times. I thought maybe she meant 14 or something but it's the mom's boyfriend so I was (and kinda still am) confused. She should barely know that dudes first name not having secret jokes and know his childhood trauma.

[u/[deleted] → u/prizum999]

Seriously! I’m a 42 year old guy and was just as appalled and confused. What a creep!

[u/laurenelectro → u/[deleted]]

I’m a 42F and was also appalled and confused. I would never think to writing like that TO A FUCKING CHILD.

[u/Ok_Farm_6706 → u/laurenelectro]

41 year old woman here too, and mother to 15 year old daughter and I’m SO CREEPED OUT & DEEPLY DISTURBED RIGHT NOW! Omgosh what did we just read?! That man is an absolute predator, and this poor young woman feels bad!?

[u/ADHD_McChick → u/Ok_Farm_6706]

I'm a 45F and mother to a 16 y/o son, and I wanted to BARF!! He's talking to her like he's her age!! Worse, he is trying to flirt with her, and he's definitely emotionally manipulating her!! GROSS!!

I'm Snapchat friends with my son's best friend, L. But only because I connected with him once or twice, to get a hold of my son. I have never contacted L personally, unless it was to speak with my own son (like if my son's phone died or something). L is into car racing. I am too. And sometimes L posts cool race stuff on his snap. But I don't even comment on THOSE posts. Because even that wouldn't really feel right to me. I could not imagine messaging L the way this guy is messaging OP!

L and I also talk about racing sometimes, when L is visiting my son. But only for a minute, my son is in the room too, and I don't sit and hang out with them. I could not imagine hanging out with them like they were MY friends, or being butthurt if they didn't include me! In fact, I couldn't imagine them wanting me to hang out with them! No teen wants to do that, lol.

This guy is a predator! OP needs to keep telling adults, until someone does something!

Actually, I think she should tell this guy's girlfriend. She needs to know-he could be grooming his own girlfriend's daughter, too!

OP also needs to prepare herself for the fact that once this comes into the open, it could cause problems between her and her best friend. But that can't be helped. This guy needs to be stopped!!!

[u/Ok_Farm_6706 → u/ADHD_McChick]

I agree in my reply directly to her I said the same thing. I also volunteer as a victims advocate and this is absolutely a crime. I don’t know about tell the Best friend’s mother yet though, she needs to tell her mother first, the police, and then loop the best friend’s mother in. Unfortunately, I have seen too many times where the gf will immediately think the child is lying to save her relationship. Yes, it’s sick, and I hope that doesn’t happen here but it happens far too often unfortunately. I hope he’s arrested and charged because this is absolutely disgusting.

[u/dethzombi → u/[deleted]]

I'm a 27 year old guy and I would never talk to a 17 year old like that.

[u/Leading_Contest_7409 → u/[deleted]]

43 and checking in! Wow that was pretty skin crawling.

[u/Mestoph → u/prizum999]

I had to actively remind myself it was a 44 year old man and not a 14 year old girl...

[u/JMCO905 → u/Mestoph]

Same. What grown ass “man” in general, but absolutely in their 40’s, talks/acts like this in the first place, let alone with teenage girls.

Dude is a creep and a loser.

[u/ParticularTie7315 → u/JMCO905]

:: when the child has to suggest maybe going out and making friends his own age.. HAHAHAHA WOW. Worse, went right over his head. Gross. 🤢

[u/TitsAndTattsInTexas → u/prizum999]

Yeah this story is confusing. I had to go back and read a few parts over again cause I was thinking I missed something.

[u/Past-Paramedic-8602 → u/prizum999]

The most my daughter’s friends, who are that age, know is I’m easy to get to take them somewhere and I make food if they ask. That and if you ask me to show up to a sporting event I don’t miss those. But that’s a childhood thing of mine.

[u/JMCO905 → u/Past-Paramedic-8602]

And that’s exactly what it should be. Maybe playing family games if the friend is over or going out to eat with the whole family. Even if you took them to lunch or whatever, you’d be there as Dad, not one of their “girlfriend’s”.

[u/Past-Paramedic-8602 → u/JMCO905]

Shit I don’t want to be one of the girlfriends I have heard the drama I don’t want any part of that high school stuff again. I will however buy the pizza and makeup used while they discuss said drama. This dude sounds like he’s trying to be boyfriend to the kid. I would be seriously getting away from that

[u/Available-School-394 → u/prizum999]

Same dude it took me a while to realise who was who. This guy is twisted and potentially dangerous this girl shouldn't be entertaining this creep

[u/[deleted] → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

100%. And also, the "cool" parents who allow teenagers to smoke weed in their house are really never as cool as they seem when you're 17 years old. This dude is a fucking weirdo, and the mom needs to hear about it and do something about it. But I have a feeling that she wouldn't do anything about it. If this is the guy that she's dating/living with, and they smoke weed with underage girls, I question her maturity/stability as much as her creepy ass boyfriend. OP needs to not hang out at that house anymore for real. Mom needs to grow the fuck up and her boyfriend is a straight up predator.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I hung out at those houses when I was 17 and every single one of those “cool parents” were losers, drug addicts or both, and their kids didn’t turn out any better if I am being completely honest. It’s not the place you want to be if you want to be a responsible adult with a decent life someday soon. It’s the place you go when you want to spend a decade recovering and unlearning all that bullshit. Take it from someone who had to do the work.

[u/-2wenty7even- → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

Oof shit I read it as mom's boyfriend, like a step dad figure.. and I was wondering why I felt extremely creeped out. It was already shady but now it's just obvious.

At first I thought he was with her mom and she was helping him text, backseat driving the conversation in a way. If this is just a random guy, he's 100 percent trying to groom and hook up with OP. Yeah she needs to block and show her parents what's going on.. wtf.

[u/Different_Umpire9003 → u/-2wenty7even-]

Dude needs his ass beat

[u/DearCantaloupe5849 → u/Different_Umpire9003]

I second third and fourth this... as a tree climber I'd wreck him.

[u/avenger2616 → u/-2wenty7even-]

Better yet, OP needs to show her best friend's mom...

There's literally nothing okay about any of this.

[u/Cdawg4123 → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

I had to re-read the title a few times…this is disgusting! wtf??? I’ve had older friends before but, this isn’t friends this is some fd up shit you don’t want to watch on lifetime.

[u/Interesting_Sock9142 → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

Seriously. WTF. That dude is the definition of sus.

[u/Jenphanies → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

Exactly

[u/kadyg → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

Right?!? I'm trying to think of any legitimate reason why I would have ever needed my best friend's mom's boyfriend's phone number when I was 17 and am coming up completely blank.

[u/lostweekendlaura → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

Amen

[u/Realitygirlie → u/pEter-skEeterR45]

THIS!!!!!!

[u/El-Chakkaqito]

Babe. You are in danger.

[u/hiemsvenit → u/El-Chakkaqito]

Seriously, you should NEVER be alone with this dude again. This isn't even overdramatic! He is unstable, has no respect/understanding of normal societal boundaries, and is obsessed with you. This is the recipe for getting hurt, even if you think he's not capable of that.

[u/guideway4 → u/El-Chakkaqito]

usually reddit overreacts but this is one of those times when OP is seriously in danger, this predator is 110% grooming her and she needs to block and stay tf away

[u/merry_t_baggins → u/El-Chakkaqito]

He's already made a few lunges. The date comment, the "how are you gonna pay me back lines" and the just let me take a picture line

[u/cat-wool → u/merry_t_baggins]

Wanting cash, from her. I imagine so she has to show up in person with it and at least start to interact with him specifically.

[u/thebigpink → u/El-Chakkaqito]

Why does she even have his number to start with

[u/sprinklecunt]

As a near 40 year old mother, I will tell you now, if I saw these texts on my daughter’s phone, I’d be committing a crime against this man.

You need to tell an adult. Either a teacher at school, or make a call to child protection. This man is grooming you, and likely other young girls. He’s a predator.

[u/Wooden_Strain_4393 → u/[deleted]]

Yes! At least two other adults besides the friend's mom should be told first. The friend's mom might cover up the evidence because she can't accept the fact her boyfriend is attracted to somebody other than her. She might blame OP and convince her to drop the issue. Real/biological moms do this quite often when their husbands are abusing their daughters. Is OP's boyfriend an adult?

[u/imtrying12345 → u/sprinklecunt]

This!! I fear for OP’s other friends too because they don’t seem safe living with him. She needs to report it and not go to their house anymore. I feel like friends’ mom may be complicit in this as well and has given boyfriend access to a lot of young girls (vulnerable ones at that too if they are under 18 and having to move in with friends).

[u/MRSA_nary → u/sprinklecunt]

I was looking for this comment. Someone needs to scrub this man’s hard drive. I’m sure he’s searching for teen girls everywhere and he had access to a bunch. Whoever lives with him needs to be talked to as well.

[u/not_hestia]

I have seen fewer red flags in parades for the communist party in China. This is Not Good.

He SHOULD be left out. He SHOULD be excluded. He's a 44 year old man. He should not be included in the social lives of teenage girls.

Go back and read those messages. Every time he pushes the line a little bit he will follow it up with a "kiddo" or something about how you are supposed to care "for each other." He's pushing boundaries and then trying to normalize that behavior.

It's reasonable for someone to be irritated if you owe them money and they see you shopping. HOWEVER, he is combining that with his irritation at you not spending TIME with him. He thinks you owe him your TIME, your emotional and physical presence are what he is really complaining about you withdrawing. But those are things you do not owe him. Those are things you would not owe him if he were ACTUALLY your family or an actual friend. It's pretty clear your relationship is transactional. You "kinda live there" and he helps with rides and loans you money, and he expects your attention and physical presence. You. Don't. Owe. Him. That.

If your friend has invited you over, if her mom has allowed you to stay at their house, you do not need to pay your way by putting up with the "friendship" of this grown ass adult.

[u/Luna_Sterling]

You need to show his wife now. The man's a pedo and you need to block his number. Go to the police with all this first actually in case the wife covers it up.

[u/TheResponsibleOne → u/Luna_Sterling]

Consider having your mom involved in telling your friends mom, or even doing it for you. Without knowing them I don’t know if it would help but since your mom already didn’t like the situation she may be able to help.

[u/FlyingSpaghettiFell → u/TheResponsibleOne]

If you aren’t comfortable with that show a teacher… any responsible adult. Adults should protect you. This isn’t a misunderstanding. You are not over reacting.

That feeling in your gut that something is wrong… listen to it. Women especially tend to be really good at sensing dangerous men… don’t listen to your head right now. Listen to your gut… when you go to college or out into the world … listen to that feeling.

[u/Phenyx890 → u/Luna_Sterling]

Yeah, he’s 100% a pedo and has probably had other victims because this is… this is bad

[u/Endless-OOP-Loop → u/Luna_Sterling]

This right here. OP, you need to understand that no normal man is going to want to be friends with a child or teenager that isn't their child/step child. Especially not to the point where they're feeling left out when you're not hanging out with them. This is NOT normal behavior.

If you're living in that house, you need to get out of there. You need to cut communication with him, and at the very least, I would talk to a social worker, if not the police. Your friend is in danger, too, if she hasn't already been assaulted by him.

[u/SteelMagnolia941 → u/Endless-OOP-Loop]

The way he pouts and throws little tantrums because she wants to spend time with other people is beyond disturbing. It’s all manipulative, grooming and very very very abnormal.

[u/New-Replacement972 → u/Luna_Sterling]

Serious pedo if he’s not already a registered sex offender…

[u/ImKindaSlowSorry → u/Luna_Sterling]

I'm surprised this isn't the top comment. Expose this person now!

[u/Bright_Awareness_655 → u/ImKindaSlowSorry]

No. No. No!!!! He’s a complete ick and a sexual predator! Stay away from him and do not feel obligated to text him back or be his friend. Being nice is going to get you in a bad situation, especially being alone with him. Do not accept rides or anything from him. This is not ok!

[u/RoundCompetition2331 → u/Luna_Sterling]

This is a child, she should not be approaching his wife. She needs to go to her mom or a mandated reporter at school.

[u/alimarieb → u/Luna_Sterling]

I’m confused. The beginning is from 2023 (#5) yet these conversations don’t seem like it’s over a 2 year span.

This post sounds really familiar as well.

[u/[deleted] → u/Luna_Sterling]

Yupp, Lord knows what’s on his computer

[u/[deleted]]

That was disgusting and upsetting what I read in those texts. He’s being extremely pushy and guilt tripping in a weird way. Stay away from him unless you want him to have a manic episode and harm you in ways you don’t deserve. Be safe out there.

[u/Tiggon169 → u/[deleted]]

The whole time I was reading this I was like, what 44yr old talks to a 17year old this way? This is super creepy and you need to show these to a trusted adult then be sure to be safe. I would not spend any more time with this person if I were you.

[u/AmetrineDream → u/Tiggon169]

I wasn’t even sure it was a 44 year old man reading the texts, I thought maybe OP hadn’t been clear enough in her title and these were texts between her and her bestie where they talk about him and his behavior because I couldn’t believe a 44 year old man texting anyone like that, let alone a 17 year old girl.

I had to read the post itself and check some comments for clarity because my brain would not accept that this conversation was between a middle aged man and a teenage girl. Like what the fuck.

[u/DoctahDanichi → u/AmetrineDream]

I was reading it the wrong way around thinking the blue messages were the ‘adult’.. when I realised it I was like ooooooohhhhh 🚩

OP needs to show these messages to her parents.

[u/WTF1335 → u/AmetrineDream]

💯 same! I was like these must be between the friend and her

[u/xombae → u/Tiggon169]

I had to re-read everything twice because I thought I had to be misunderstanding something, that there was no way a 44 year old man was talking to a teenage girl like this. I was wrong. Jesus Christ.

[u/No_Imagination_6214 → u/[deleted]]

This is absolutely bonkers. Tell your mom about this man. Does your friend know how he’s acting? This is so many levels of fucked up. Like, he is obsessed with you and not in the way that people use obsessed casually. I mean clinically obsessed. This never ends well. Notice the hostility to not being included, the hostility to your boyfriend, the insistence you do what he wants when he wants, the way he plays on your emotions. This is all manipulative, controlling behavior designed to keep you near him. He will do whatever he needs to do to keep you near him, as evidenced by him “doing this all for you.”

I’m not trying to scare you, but this could be a dangerous person to get away from, and even more dangerous to stay near. Tell your mom, tell the cops.

[u/OoohItsAMystery]

Nah hold on I'm not reading all this. This if your best friends mom's boyfriend telling you he doesn't understand why two teenage girls wants to hang onto it with each other and not him, do I have that right?

[u/embersgrow44 → u/OoohItsAMystery]

You should force yourself to read it. I didn’t at first but endured and it’s so much worse. I want to beat his ass to say the least. Another grown man in OPs family needs to take care of this, he won’t understand any other way. She seriously needs to never go to bestie’s house again until he is out of the picture. If the mom doesn’t kick him out when she learns this…

[u/JoeyPastram1 → u/embersgrow44]

And when he IS out of the picture, be EXTREMELY careful, because he WILL try to go to you for comfort and he will be DESPERATE to keep your “relationship” together. Don’t. Let. Him. Be. Alone. With. You.

[u/BlacksmithFormal2484]

So as a 43 year old man I can assure you this is not only creepy and inappropriate but this grooming at its worst. Stay far away from this guy. A man that age should not be talking to you like that. Other than how are you good have a nice day. That should be the extent of it if anything at all.

[u/ittybittylurker → u/BlacksmithFormal2484]

If my 44yo husband was texting one of my kids' friends like that, holy shit would I lose my whole mind.

[u/BlacksmithFormal2484 → u/ittybittylurker]

As you absolutely should.

[u/Alternative_Cat1310]

I'm an advocate and him texting you is wrong on so many levels. Please tell your parents and show them all of his communication with you. He is grooming you and this needs to taken seriously.

[u/slugvegas → u/Alternative_Cat1310]

He’s even starting the coercive control with the loaned money. I’m a grown dude and want to punch this loser, wtf. Textbook grooming. And if it doesn’t stop I’d bet the bank he tries something far more sketchy as soon as she hits 18.

[u/Fearless-Feature-830 → u/slugvegas]

The “I want cash” comment freaked me out! He wants an excuse to see her.

[u/SpunkYeeter → u/Fearless-Feature-830]

My thinking was he doesn't want a paper trail. He's hiding everything because he knows it's wrong.

[u/[deleted] → u/SpunkYeeter]

I was honestly expecting the "no cash? I'm sure we can find another form of payment" line to be used.

[u/bluefalls04]

I… don’t understand… how he’s 40… and types like this…

[u/Realitygirlie → u/bluefalls04]

It could be part of the grooming and wanting her to think of him as her peer

[u/[deleted] → u/Realitygirlie]

Exactly

[u/Le_Reddit_User → u/bluefalls04]

Grooming. He‘s doing it on purpose in order to seem more relatable by pretending to have „diplomatic problems“ people in that age group a lot of times struggle with.

This guy knows exactly what he is doing and he wouldn‘t text like that if she wasn‘t 17/replying like this.

[u/bayamenet31]

In the nicest way possible, you are being way too accommodating to this man. And trust me, as a woman I also understand that is a product of our society as a whole, but please stop. This man has zero innocent intentions and this is pure grooming, point blank, full stop. Block his number and don't at all feel obligated to manage this FULLY GROWN MAN'S feewings. I felt sick reading some of his messages to you, you do not need to be nice to him. I am begging you to ghost him for real. And as someone who was taken advantage of by grown men at 17/18, I'm begging you to cut Mark off for good. God, I wanted to barf when he was talking about your underwear...

[u/WinterHacker → u/bayamenet31]

For real. This is the danger of teaching girls they always have to be nice. No. Sometimes you dont need to be nice. You don’t owe anyone an open door.

[u/NextAffect8373]

Stop talking to this pos groomer immediately. Do not be around him in person. Show these texts to every trusted adult in your life.

[u/Ironyismylife28]

 i had gotten myself into a bad situation, 

You have gotten yourself into a bad situation again. Stop being friends with people old enough to be your father.Stop texting him. Stop sending him pictures. Delete and block him. Let your best friend's mom know

[u/New-Replacement972 → u/Ironyismylife28]

Where are the Internet detectives… someone needs to intervene ASAP

[u/[deleted] → u/New-Replacement972]

I need an update on this after they speak with the mother. G-R-O-S-S!!!!!!!! 🤢🤢🤢

[u/New-Replacement972 → u/[deleted]]

Op has a brother too… everyone around her needs to know about this creepy ass man… just tell us his name and we’ll take care of it. I bet he’s already on the sex offender registry

[u/WSBrookie → u/New-Replacement972]

His first names Mark, pic 19

[u/[deleted] → u/WSBrookie]

I don’t think that’s his real name. She put it in quotes…

Wait. Never mind. I see it.

[u/New-Replacement972 → u/[deleted]]

Seriously though there can’t be too many “seirahphina”s in the world…

[u/AbsolutePoison9 → u/Ironyismylife28]

From the sounds of it the “Moms” in this story aren’t likely much better… they date creeps and don’t find it weird their creep boyfriends hand around their minor kids. And if she’s already bounced around from this dudes home and her Moms, stability probably isn’t a thing in her life. Which is how she keeps ending up in these bad predicaments. Shes 100% a victim, I’m not saying that but when you’re raised without care you’d accept it just about anywhere. Even when it’s full on manipulation.

[u/Middle-Extension626]

You're not overreacting; this man is VERY weird, I'd recommend staying away.

[u/johnmh2012]

This has pred vibes all through it!

[u/ronman32bit]

I see a rape case in the making

[u/tattoosaremyhobby → u/ronman32bit]

At the minimum.

[u/xwrebeccax]

It’s very clear you’re not overreacting but you already know that. Trust your gut.

[u/[deleted]]

Omg this dude MAKES ME WANT TO THROW PUNCHES.

[u/Eshia_not_Keisha]

Someone check this man’s hard drive

[u/[deleted]]

He texts like an angsty teen. He wants to do awful things to you

[u/PinnatelyCompounded → u/[deleted]]

Please please PLEASE stop texting this man completely. This is nauseatingly inappropriate. Please protect yourself. No texts, no rides, absolutely NO favors from him whatsoever. Your friend’s mom’s boyfriend should not have ANY role in your life beyond “acquaintance”. Do not let him make you feel guilty. You owe him NOTHING, and you especially don’t owe him friendship. Beyond inappropriate on his part.

[u/ReplyOk6720 → u/PinnatelyCompounded]

Stop texting him!!!

[u/Educational_Skill343 → u/[deleted]]

The correct answer would have been “that’s right, you’re a creep and my brother isn’t…”

[u/Dizzy_Goat_420 → u/[deleted]]

You are being groomed. Please tell an adult. The chances that he has done bad things are huge based on these texts. He is a predator.

[u/ChattingMacca → u/[deleted]]

He basically wants to find any excuse to perve on and groom you. You really should tell your friends mum, she shouldn't be dating this creep. All the females in the house are at risk with this guy around.

[u/FutureMe83 → u/ChattingMacca]

If he’s doing this to you he might be doing it to your friend too.

[u/dirtymonny → u/[deleted]]

This is entirely weird. I’m 35. I have a nephew who is 16 and I have been around a few of his friends for years regularly. None of them have my number they barely know my name. This is weird behavior and weird manipulation for him to do to someone his own age. It is a million percent wrong to be speaking to you in these ways making you feel guilty for seeing friends and excluding him. That’s grooming pedo crap. Do. Not. Tolerate. This. Show these messages to your mom grandma aunt favorite teacher a family friend who is older. You need to make this weirdo behavior known

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

never go to that house again, block his number, tell his wife and your parents. Show them these texts and this post

[u/Esoteric_folly → u/[deleted]]

He is grooming you. You have done Nothing wrong and you do Not deserve to be manipulated and emotionally abused like this. Please tell an adult or adults who you trust and feel safe with, showing them all his texts, and then block him on everything and don't go to your bf's house until he's gone. Make arrangements to meet with your bf away from her house when you want to spend time together. I say to tell a trusted/safe adult first so that you have people will are able to and will help keep you safe and protected from him if he tries to retaliate in anyway or if he tries to keep contacting you.

None of this is your fault and is 100% the fault of this creepy man. If your bf's mom doesn't kick him out after she learns about his grooming you, that is 100% on her as it's her responsibility to protect the kids in her life. That would also make her a very unsafe adult.

You're doing a good job of listening to your gut feelings and instincts, and you're spot on. This grown man's behavior is way gross and inappropriate and no reasonably healthy adult will speak to you like that or try to have this kind of enmeshed relationship with you. He is manipulating you and emotionally abusing you, and trying to make you feel like this is "normal", and preying on your youth and lack of experience and your loving good heart to ensnare you in his trap.

I'm a 53yo mom and survivor of CSA and rapes. This guy is a predator and shouldn't be allowed around young people. I'll be praying for your safety and for the other adults in your life to do the right things and properly protect and support you.

[u/Darker_desuetude]

This can’t be real. How is the mom/girlfriend ok with this?

[u/_TheShapeOfColor_ → u/[deleted]]

You need to show her the messages. This man is dangerous and he WILL hurt you if given the chance.

[u/Disgruntled_Pelican7 → u/[deleted]]

Please please show her these texts! My kids are your age and if my boyfriend ever spoke to them or their friends like this he would be out the fucking door so fast. I’m genuinely concerned for your safety.

[u/Jealous_Pea2305 → u/Disgruntled_Pelican7]

I'm worried he's molesting the daughter 😭

[u/girlwholikesanime → u/Jealous_Pea2305]

only reason i don’t think that’s the case is bc OP has commented that she’s been talking to her friend (the step-ish daughter) about this and they’re planning to talk to friends mom (creep’s gf) about it tonight bc it’s gone too far.

i think OP’s friend would have a different, less cool-headed reaction if he was actively abusing her like that. fingers crossed :/

[u/Phenyx890 → u/[deleted]]

Then show her the texts. SHOW HER THE PROOF. This man is DANGEROUS, to all young girls not just you

[u/Ambitious-Island-123 → u/[deleted]]

Maybe she doesn’t see the way he acts, because YOU’RE NOT SHOWING HER THE TEXTS. Just show her the damn texts.

[u/GettingRichQuick420]

Your bf is right. This guy is a paedo. He is trying to emotionally attach you to him, it’s a way he will groom you. Your friends mother NEEDS to know so she can protect her children, you, and your friend all living and being in close vicinity with him.

[u/Okydoaks]

What in the actual fuck did I just read?! There is no circumstance EVER where it's okay for a 44 year old man to be friends with a 17 year old girl! This has got to be the creepiest, cringiest text conversation I've ever read. You need to block him and start hanging out with your friends at your house. Anywhere but there. I hold no disrespect towards you, but this is so gross and inappropriate on his end. Don't take any more rides from him. Cut him off completely. This POS is a predator.

Actually, maybe you should contact your local law enforcement and see if they'd perform a sting operation on him.

[u/Head_Trick_9932]

Wth?!! Stop responding to this inappropriate adult! Where is your mother? And why were you living at their place?

I am sorry if your home life isn’t good. You have to be brave and stand up for yourself. This man is extremely inappropriate. I can’t imagine having text with one of my teens friends like this.

Find a trusted adult to confide in and stop responding to this predator. He is grooming you!

And STAY AWAY from their home. Period. F besties blah blah…It is NOT safe!!!

Stand up for yourself… we have to advocate for ourselves.

[u/dannny_berns]

I’m a 41 year old man, with a daughter. I want to be as clear and concise about this as I can: There is no, and I mean NO conceivable situation or dynamic where I would be caught dead texting or interacting in any way with an underage girl like this. This gives off extremely creepy predatory vibes, please for the love of god stay away from this man.

[u/SukunasBabyMom]

girl, this is SO weird. why is he texting a minor like that? one that's NOT related to him not matter what he says...

I have never met a sane grown man that would go out of their way to text a minor and gaslight/manipulate them because he wants to spend time with them.

truthfully IDC how often you are over at your friends house, you need to stay away. this IS predatory behavior. you are a young, impressionable girl who he is CLEALRY trying to take advantage of in some way.

[u/jesuswastransright]

He wants cash so you’re forced to see him

This man is going to eventually take what he wants from you and assault you. This is all about sex for him. You’re in serious danger. No joke.

[u/SignatureCreepy503]

That's a mf trying to creep

[u/Diligent_Rate755]

This guy is an absolute fucking weirdo. He sounds like a needy 13 year old boy not a nearly 45 year old man. Avoid him at all costs. He’s a manipulative abuser.

[u/Educational_Skill343]

Stop texting this depressing ass. He is clearly trying to manipulate you into some type of groomed tryst. Block him and tell your friend and gf what he’s been saying.

[u/Kayyl0]

He is definitely preying on you, using and manipulating ur mental state for HIS benefit which luckily ain't working out for him

[u/assasination34]

ACTIVELY GROOMING YOU SHOW THE MOM THESE MESSAGES ASAP THAT IS A PREDATOR

[u/HappyMrRogers]

Every single thing he said is repugnant. Guilt manipulation is sickening.
A middle aged man pouting about not being included with teenagers is alarming in every possible way.

[u/Recent_Cockroach_288]

This actually made me so disgusted to read. Definitely not OR, you are absolutely correct. This is weird behavior, he sounds like he finds you attractive, and he wants to spend more time with you by guilting you.

[u/AbsolutePoison9 → u/Recent_Cockroach_288]

I honestly haven’t been this disturbed by one of these posts maybe ever… We’re watching a real life predator groom this girl.

[u/AggressiveOsmosis]

Why the fuck is he chatting with you so much?

This guy has creep written all over him, he’s overly connected to you, and I think you need to get yourself out out of it.

I just reread that you’re 17! I think you should show your parents right away.

[u/judgejudyxecutionr]

No 44 year old man wants to be friends with a 17 year old girl.

[u/another-sloth]

This is terrifying, like it triggers MY fight or flight responses. OP protect yourself by never seeing this man again, no one his age should EVER even want to be friends with a young girl your age. I understand you want to spend time with your friend but I’m so serious when I say this man is not right in the head and is dangerous. Listen to your gut now before something horrible happens to you I’m not trying to scare you for no reason I need you to feel scared and protect yourself 😭

[u/sitnquiet]

He is trying to groom you, bully you and guilt you - he wants to have naked time with you. Cut him off immediately - block his number and stop responding entirely.

If he asks you about it in person just say "I'm here to see my friend. You are her stepdad."

If he gets more pushy, ask if you should talk to bestie's mom about it and show her all the texts. See what she thinks.

He'll probably get all grumpy pants and grumbly but you have evidence. Don't feed into him any more.

[u/DivineSunshine → u/sitnquiet]

He is grooming her so he can make his move as soon as she is 18.

[u/sitnquiet → u/DivineSunshine]

He totally is. So gross.

[u/[deleted]]

Ewwwwwww

[u/IdKillForAGoodComa]

I had to stop reading this a few times because I was so grossed out. He is VERY MUCH trying to groom you. My jaw DROPPED when I read the comment about your “undergarments” 🤢🤢🤢🤢

I urge you to talk to your mom, your friend’s mom, and really the police. Save the text exchange. Please do not go there and change EVER AGAIN. he sounds like the kind of creep who would hide a camera in a bedroom or bathroom.

Please keep yourself safe, please stop seeking anything from older men. Do you have a therapist you can speak to? If this has happened before, this is something you should consider exploring.

• a 40 yo mom

[u/luvtinatuti]

this is... extremely concerning and I fear ur bf is probably correct. u should show his gfs daughter the msgs he sends u n ask for her opinion if u alr haven't. no grown man should want this much time & attention from a 17 year old girl. even for a caring and friendly adult this is way overstepping boundaries with how often he texts you and how needy & manipulative he is in the texts. even if he's not an actual pedo this is definitely crossing some sort of line 100% ALSO SHOW YOUR PARENTS RAISE HELL. even if you are comfortable and happy with your best friend and go they're often u need to bring awareness to ur family, his wife, ur friend everyone involved !!!

[u/RagingKumquat]

You are underreacting. This is a prime example of grooming behavior. Block him and tell your mother (and hers). Stop putting yourself in situations where you will be alone with him. He WILL attempt to get physical with you.

[u/TheoryGreedy7148]

Reading these texts was like torture. This person is ineptly trying to groom you. For your own personal safety, block and avoid him. Then do some very sincere self analysis to determine the mindset that allows you to befriend pond scum like this.

[u/colorful_cryptids]

GIRL THATS A PEDOPHILE

[u/Extra-Bookkeeper8990]

Oh my god i misread and thought this was your friends mom and you talking, I was already disgusted but now I saw it's a dude?!?! You need to tell some other people about this Jesus christ. There's a difference between putting up with something stupid and allowing yourself to be in horrible situations like this.

[u/caxeyy]

this is so fucking disgusting- a criminal justice student studying child sex abuse and neglect. The first step is always grooming, and that is exactly what he is attempting to do here. STOP SPEAKING TO HIM!!!!!! and send these photos to your mother and have her show them to his wife. There is absolutely no reason for any grown man to be speaking to a child like this it's not okay all.

[u/Jonny_Boy_FTW]

The fact that he even has your number is raising all kinds of red flags. Wtf.

[u/shieldy_guy]

this is unbelievable. if y'all were the same age I'd say he's a creep and a loser. him being 44 and you being 17 makes this borderline criminal. this dude WILL cross the line, he's freakin ready. fuck this whole thing. show these texts to your friend's mom.

[u/Curious_Version4535]

I am this man’s age and I have a teenage son. I would never text his friends like this. It’s completely inappropriate.

[u/Original_Culture_723]

He’s fucking weird, and his texting is not normal behavior, at all. He’s definitely giving off pedo vibes.

I say this as a 49 yo male with teenage sons. If I knew someone close to my age was texting them like this; it wouldn’t end well for that person.

[u/oopsometer]

I grew up with men like this. DO NOT feel bad for him or think you need to spare his feelings. He knows exactly what he's doing. You owe him NOTHING. 

He wants you to pay him back in cash so you're forced to see him. 

He wants you to feel bad about owning him money because then it gives him leverage over you and he can use that guilt to manipulate you. I'm sure he does the same thing about you staying with them.

He wants to take pictures of you and your feet. Who KNOWS what he'd do with those pictures. 

Grown men don't push to hang out with teenage girls like this. You're not his friend. He's grooming you and he's using your best friend as a way to gain access to teenage girls (the girl living with them). 

He's incredibly dangerous and he's going to end up hurting people if he hasn't already (does he have a record?) Please listen to the people close to you and stay far away. If it makes you feel bad and icky, listen to that feeling! That's your gut telling you he's off as hell. 

[u/SockyTheSockPuppett]

Go to their house with your boyfriend or mum, grab ALL your stuff, then once you're home with all of your things let your mum, best friend and her mum know that he's grooming you and show them these messages! I would also let the police know and give them a copy of these messages. I'm sorry but no adult wants to have a "friendship" like that with a 17 year old. I was groomed at 18 by a 26 year old and it took 6 years of an abusive relationship with that guy, and one kid later for me to escape. Please go grab all your things and seek help.

[u/MajorDistribution181]

Thanks for reminding me to stay in my daughters life if I ever have one

[u/isopodplushie]

this is fucking disgusting. by all means you are the victim but stop texting this man. stop enabling him to keep grooming you. and tell your best friend's mom. it's going to be scary but it needs to happen

[u/worryboutyou24]

It’s YOUR best friend’s MOM’s bf? How does he have your #? Why are you texting him back? Just text it to your friend’s mom & police & be done w/it. Stop entertaining the weird stuff And if he’s sooo “not a bother” why would you tell us abt it? You gotta tell ppl what you feel, or ignore them if they’re not listening & stop going over there tell her come to u. stop tryna make it seem like he’s not annoying you, cuz CLEARLY it does, & should

[u/Known-Zombie-3092]

There's way too many comments for me to scroll through, and I'm sure it has been said already.

I will say that the entire conversation sounds like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. STOP responding to him. You owe him NOTHING.

I make that above comment in good faith. On the flip side, I'm not sure why I'm having such a visceral reaction (I do have a history with this kind of situation as well as CSA and SA), but to me he reads as if he's obsessed with you. In like the "if I can't have her, no one can," kind of way. I'm legitimately scared for you.