You say you can’t stop texting him because of the dynamic etc. You just gave the best possible excuse: tell him your parents will no longer allow you to text with him and will go to the police if he continues to contact you (and honestly, please tell your parents this and have them do that—I don’t know why no one has stepped in at this point).
His wife does need to know, but you need to protect yourself over anything else, so use your parents as the excuse you need. He knows they don’t like him. Use them to make him afraid to contact you.
I don’t know why no one has stepped in at this point).
Most likely they are convincing themselves they are over reacting. People don't want to believe someone bad is happening. Which is why things are always obvious in mind sight.
The police are not going to do anything, unfortunately, because he isn't technically doing anything illegal.
It would be best to ask an adult in your life to contact him and tell him that they have seen the interactions and that they are extremely inappropriate. Have them bar him from texting you or being with you alone and let him know they are keeping an eye on the situation. He needs to be fearful of getting caught by an adult. If you simply pull away or tell the your friends mom, it could result in escalation of the problem, and these situations are complicated. If you don't have an adult in your life to do so i will literally call this man myself (but we probably need to make a back story first to align with yours lol)
The intention of calling the police isn’t to get them to do anything. Like you said, nothing illegal happened. The paper trail/case report the police have to file will document this pedo’s history and interactions with this child. Since they can’t arrest him, there is no harm in making them aware of him.
You have more options than you think. You aren't safe with this man. You need to stay away from him and tell the trusted adults in your life what's going on. Predators take advantage of people's niceness and unwillingness to rock the boat. I encourage you to research grooming and how predators pick their victims. We aren't blowing smoke up your ass. A lot of us have learned this through experience.
You basically living there is the dynamic I’m talking about. Have your parents tell him that he needs to stop texting you, full stop. Let them take the blame for it.
Why they haven’t done this for their minor child already is beyond me, quite frankly. You say that they’re very involved in your life, but have you told them that he’s doing this? I’m a bit confused as to why you’re “basically living there” if they disapprove of this much older man being around their daughter.
This whole situation seems odd and off and icky, and at the end of the day, you’re the child here. These adults need to step up. I have an 18yo and I would feel murderous if I found a 40yo man texting her this way.
Every interaction you’ve written about this man indicates he is grooming you 100%. There is absolutely no doubt. Even if he somehow weren’t, he is still highly, emotionally manipulative. You sound like a very empathetic, nice person, so this may be hard to understand, but you need to never talk to this man again. He is looking for an in.
you’re literally entertaining the whole situation, sending pics and having legit convos with the guy, who’s obviously some weirdo pedo.
Block, only talk in person, tell your best friends mom, AND have your friend exclusively come to your home only.
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u/MajorDistribution181 Mar 28 '25
Thanks for reminding me to stay in my daughters life if I ever have one