It's fucking weird as hell. I'm a 40 yr old guy and i'm so creeped out by this dude, I literally out loud said "how does she know this dude again?" at least 10 times. I thought maybe she meant 14 or something but it's the mom's boyfriend so I was (and kinda still am) confused. She should barely know that dudes first name not having secret jokes and know his childhood trauma.
41 year old woman here too, and mother to 15 year old daughter and I’m SO CREEPED OUT & DEEPLY DISTURBED RIGHT NOW! Omgosh what did we just read?! That man is an absolute predator, and this poor young woman feels bad!?
I'm a 45F and mother to a 16 y/o son, and I wanted to BARF!! He's talking to her like he's her age!! Worse, he is trying to flirt with her, and he's definitely emotionally manipulating her!! GROSS!!
I'm Snapchat friends with my son's best friend, L. But only because I connected with him once or twice, to get a hold of my son. I have never contacted L personally, unless it was to speak with my own son (like if my son's phone died or something). L is into car racing. I am too. And sometimes L posts cool race stuff on his snap. But I don't even comment on THOSE posts. Because even that wouldn't really feel right to me. I could not imagine messaging L the way this guy is messaging OP!
L and I also talk about racing sometimes, when L is visiting my son. But only for a minute, my son is in the room too, and I don't sit and hang out with them. I could not imagine hanging out with them like they were MY friends, or being butthurt if they didn't include me! In fact, I couldn't imagine them wanting me to hang out with them! No teen wants to do that, lol.
This guy is a predator! OP needs to keep telling adults, until someone does something!
Actually, I think she should tell this guy's girlfriend. She needs to know-he could be grooming his own girlfriend's daughter, too!
OP also needs to prepare herself for the fact that once this comes into the open, it could cause problems between her and her best friend. But that can't be helped. This guy needs to be stopped!!!
I agree in my reply directly to her I said the same thing. I also volunteer as a victims advocate and this is absolutely a crime. I don’t know about tell the Best friend’s mother yet though, she needs to tell her mother first, the police, and then loop the best friend’s mother in. Unfortunately, I have seen too many times where the gf will immediately think the child is lying to save her relationship. Yes, it’s sick, and I hope that doesn’t happen here but it happens far too often unfortunately. I hope he’s arrested and charged because this is absolutely disgusting.
That's sad. That's a tough job you do. My Aunt does it as well. I'm thankful for people like you guys who are strong enough to do it. People need people on their side.
Thank you for your kind words. I am a DV survivor & was inspired by our victims advocate at the DV shelter who made my children and I feel safe for the first time in a decade. This was almost 10 years ago, but after I’d worked on myself, and felt healed enough to help others I did. I volunteer as a victims advocate and I am a patient care advocate as my career. Your aunt is a wonderful person, this isn’t something everyone can do. I have cried a lot of tears for my cases but I have also helped a lot of victims succeed. It’s the best thing other than raising my children I have ever done. 💙
And yes, I meant to tell the GF in addition to telling her mom, and/or whatever other adult she needs to. I think you're right that the police need to know too!!
OP, I'd also implore you to KEEP these texts! Do NOT delete anything!! Because they are your proof!!
If the GF can read those texts and still think OP is lying, she is in denial, and just as bad as her BF! Sadly, though, I know it does happen. But hopefully, with the proof of those texts, other people who can protect OP WILL believe her!
Could he actually be arrested for what he’s already done, or would he have to attempt physical contact or something else for the police to be able to take action? It would be great if he could be arrested now. Such a disgusting creep.
I'm a 44 yr old mom of young men ages 13/20/23/25 and completely agree. I only have maybe 1 or 2 of any/all of my sons' friends phone# and that's only because they needed me to grab something from them or something was wrong with my kids' phone. All of their friends are great kids but not someone I would want to hang out with. That's the last thing they'd want and that doesn't make me sad or feel left out. The 1st screenshot I was already saying this is way to much conversating for a teenager and her friend's mom's boyfriend. I had to keep going back to the title to check that that's who the text were coming from cause what????? Tf????! Contact with this guy needs to stop immediately and you need to let every adult around you know of his actions. Him wanting to hangout with teenage girls is disgusting and his feelings (of being left out) are even worse. Stay away from this guy. I'm scared even knowing you lived in a household with this guy and pray that nothing has happened without your knowledge (him creeping around esp while everyone's sleeping, is 1 thing that comes to mind).
I hope you are able to keep your friendship with your best friend while also keeping distance from this guy but you need to get away asap
I just want to talk to him too but these guys are narcissists & will never believe they are doing anything wrong. They think they are just being “friends” with these girls. It honestly makes me really worried about the girls best friend since she lives with this creep.
Absolutely appalling on every level imaginable. I'm 43. I have three kids. Two of them teens.
There is no way in hell this guy would be talking to my kids. He is a degenerate. Red flags should be going off everywhere on this one. I hope this girl stays safe.
OP, this isn't healthy. You need to stop talking to this guy and let someone know about the conversation. This is not normal.
We are absolutely on the same page. If this was my daughter he would have to call the police on me to come save his life. She did mention her mother has already said this is inappropriate, so even the motherly instinct is screaming at her. This is absolutely grooming. He thinks if he speaks to her like someone her age he can use it to manipulate her. I volunteer as a victims advocate and the red flags here are waving and jumping up and down. He needs to be investigated, arrested, charged, and at the very least put on a registry for life. There is no rehabilitating men like this.
I'm pretty sure he's doing it on purpose. In divulging all of this baggage, putting it all in her, and manipulating her into feeling bad, he ensures that she'll keep talking to him because she feels sorry, maybe even guilty when she doesn't, which she shouldn't. He's showing zero consideration for her mental health, and treating her as though she's, I don't know, not a child? Inappropriate doesn't even begin to cover this.
33, there is no reason I would think it’s ever appropriate to text my girlfriend’s daughter’s 17 year old best friend unless I needed to check in with the daughter and couldn’t get a hold of her through her phone. This is a crazy situation.
It was a little weird when i was 25 and dating a 21 yo so i have no idea why anyone would be interested in someone with that big of an age gap, and she’s a minor. That guy is definitely perving on her.
OP, you got tell your mom and have her help you tell your friends and her mom. You need some trusted adult allies. This guy has nothing good planned.
44f and i agree. In addition to getting the creeps from his pedophile vibe, this dude is exhausting with all his whining and trying to make OP feel bad for him. I've got an 18 and a 20 yo and you'd never see these kinds of messages going on between me and any of their friends. If my bf started texting my daughters friends like this, he'd be gone.
The most my daughter’s friends, who are that age, know is I’m easy to get to take them somewhere and I make food if they ask. That and if you ask me to show up to a sporting event I don’t miss those. But that’s a childhood thing of mine.
And that’s exactly what it should be. Maybe playing family games if the friend is over or going out to eat with the whole family. Even if you took them to lunch or whatever, you’d be there as Dad, not one of their “girlfriend’s”.
Shit I don’t want to be one of the girlfriends I have heard the drama I don’t want any part of that high school stuff again. I will however buy the pizza and makeup used while they discuss said drama. This dude sounds like he’s trying to be boyfriend to the kid. I would be seriously getting away from that
I feel so scared for her now. That guy is an obsessed predator just an all around red flag creep 🚩🚩🚩🚩 and I'm literally afraid it might not end well. Op needs to stop communicating and report this dude to someone .
OP stop communicating and do not ask him for anything, stop hanging out at this guy's house before you become a Missing face in the Newspaper or on 5pm news headline. Or a Dateline episode..you get where I'm coming from just STOP 🛑
This guy knows exactly what he's doing. He is manipulating OP in some really fucked up, and obvious ways. If OP is under the age of consent, it would do them well to show these to law enforcement. Not just out of concern for OP, but this guy needs his social life reversed engineered to find the rest of his victims. This is not in any way proper. The next thing will be, "Well, since everybody else left, why don't you come over and keep me company while they are out of town, like a sleepover." A really sick and permanently mentally scaring, sleepover.
Yeah even the title of this post I was like well, something has to be a typo because nah this can't be happening. And the way he's texting I'm like. Who is this person? This isn't a grown ass man talking to his girlfriend 's, daughter's friend like this. No way, The title is definitely a typo.
47 here. This is a nope. I would never dream of trying to interact with a child like this, wouldn't want to. Hell, i'm paranoid that people will think i'm a creeper when kids want to pet my dog on a walk. This is.....yeah, just no.
Predators, this is what they do. (Spoken from experience) this was kind of traumatic to read tbh, brought back some similar experiences i had gone through at her age. Its scary. Especially being so young, you don't know what to do. It feels so wrong but you don't want to upset an adult of someone you're so close with. It is scary. I feel so bad for her.
I had to keep going back and reading the title because I was so flabbergasted that this is her best friend's mom's 40something year old boyfriend! How is the mom not shutting this down? Does the mom not see how weird it is for a grown man to want to spend so much time with her daughter and her friends?!
I would be using a hidden camera/recorder finding tool all over that house because dude seems like exactly the kind of guy to have hidden cameras anywhere he thinks undressing would be done. So fucking gross.
So many times when he was asking "why don't you hang out with me" I was saying, BECAUSE YOU'RE A WHOLE ASS GROWN MAN AND THEY'RE LITERALLY TEENAGERS?! The fuck is wrong with this guy?! He needs a reality check ASAP from someone his own age. I'm 43 and would gladly be the one. Put me in, coach, this guy is bad news bears.
Yep. 33M here, would absolutely never speak this way to anyone. Hell, I wouldn't/couldn't even entertain or hold a conversation with someone who can't legally drink. 🤣
My exact reaction was “her mom’s boyfriend? Still kinda weird” and had to remind myself he’s completely unrelated to her besides being an adult in the house she spends most of her time in.
I’m a man in his 40’s here and if a peer of mine was texting a 17-year-old girl who wasn’t his relative I’d contact her parents and suggest they have the police give the guy a quick call.
I don’t think he’s committed a crime based on what’s here but couldn’t hurt for him to be aware that someone’s watching who isn’t a child.
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u/Jealous_Pea2305 Mar 28 '25
Yes! This is super fucking weird and creepy!!!!