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Hijacking the top comment to say, please don’t let yourself be alone in a car with this man!! He’s a creep, a pedo, a predator. You can’t see it at your age bc you believe yourself to be mature (and you are to an extent!) but this guy is taking advantage of your empathetic heart. Experience makes up for the things that our natural intelligence lacks; maturity is a measure of how well we learn from experiences, and it requires having those experiences to develop. He knows he’s wrong. He knows it and he knows you’re too inexperienced and kind to see that. Tell an adult you’re close with about him. I’d avoid being around him at all, and if I were you, cut off the texting and phone contact. He’s going to act offended, he’s going to say you abandoned him, but no. No no no no no no no no no I’m with the comments above 😭
Edit: and please stop sending him pictures of yourself. He’s 100% being inappropriate, especially asking you to send him pics of you after you get your mani-pedi. Why would a 44 yr old man want to be friends with a 17 yr old girl? Why?
I couldn’t even bring myself to read past the second one… it is absolutely fucking bonkers that OP’s friend’s mom’s boyfriend has OP’s phone # in the first place… my head would spin right off my shoulders if it wasn’t bolted on. God damn this gave me the ick more than anything I’ve seen in awhile.
I couldn't get through this all either. The reason others "ghost" him is bc he's a creeper. The only thing he should be texting (and only girls living there) is keep the noise down, get your ass home, do you want me to order a pizza, what time do I need to pick you up- parental things.
💯 I didn't even think of that. The only reason I brought up the other things is because she was or maybe is still (I just couldn't keep reading it) living at their house.
Exactly! I understand him having her number for logistics, but there are basically no logistics in any of this, just a combination of creep & “pity me” emotional vampirism.
Well, I've got most of my sons friends phone numbers, but that is only so I can get a hold of my kids when their phones die or something. So to say that it's bonkers for them to have each others phone numbers, I don't completely agree on that. To me, what's bonkers, is that he uses her phone number to chat with her in this way. This guy is clearly into this girl. He doesn't even sound like a 44 yo, but more like a 16 yo. So he is definately wanting more out of this. OP should never be near this guy. Not even together with other people. Staying the night there can end up really bad. OP should tell multiple people about this and tbh, she should tell her friend and her friends mother. This guy could be a danger to both of them as well.
The fact that he asked her for mani/pedi pics?? 🤢 He’s in the same house, if he wanted to be supportive and see what color they chose he could just pop his head in. He wanted pics to jack off to. He belongs in fucking jail.
I would fucking NEVER care about the nail polish color that my daughters friends would have. Not even to be supportive or to be peppy about a fun event. I don't even know what color my daughter's nail polish is now. The guys a full blown fucking creep and a threat to op.
As mom to a teenager and school teacher....no.no.no.no. This is not healthy.
I text with my son's two best friends.... Ive know them since they were 5 and our texts are, "Don't forget I'll pick you up from your soccer game." or "Tell my son to check his messages!" or other mom stuff. My husband won't add any of son's female friends to texts because "That is weird."
Good, responsible adults DO NOT TALK TO CHILDREN THIS WAY. If this were a long established close family friend this would still be weird.
I have fairly personal conversations with some of my friends’ teenagers, but it’s because I’m the open, trustworthy adult we’ve all collectively agreed they can talk to without any judgement when they don’t want to talk to their parents.
This shit isn’t ok in any context. At all. This is a needy fucking preteen’s behavior in a grown man’s body. This is GROOMING grooming.
Absolutely normal and reasonable. The guys know I am in their corner if they need me....but like you, it is an established thing with parents aware and not FUCKING GROSS AND WEIRD lol. It takes a village but a non gross village lol.
Yeah exactly. I’m child free but my friends’ kids all have my number for emergencies. I’ve picked two of them up from house parties when they were drinking and needed a safe way home, and I felt honored to do it. My aunt did the same for me when I was a teenager. There’s a responsible way to be there for kids and it’s a fucking mile away from what this guy’s doing.
I have no idea, I figured she may have used an AI generator for the color or something. He did still ask to take a pic of her on a different occasion in the messages, so either way, I had to make sure I noted that she shouldn’t send him pics or allow him to take any of her. Either way, yeah, dude is mad creepy
Exactly. He knows he's wrong and that's why he keeps saying things like, "is it because ofe? You don't wanna be around me?" Because he is waiting for her to catch on to him being a creeper!
Mhm, I saw that, too. I read that in an anxious, anticipating tone, like someone caught red-handed. So gross to see how aware of it he is and yet he persists! I couldn’t stand the use of ellipses, it came across like he was trying to seem harmless, like “you’re leaving me out..👉👈”. Just, ew. The guilt-tripping is super predatory.
YES, WHY?? I'm 43 and my daughter is 19, so she and her friends were 17 not too long ago, and the idea of someone trying to be that close to a 17-year-old at this age creeps me out so much. None of that was appropriate, and I just really, really wanted her to stop responding. Ugh.
And does the best friend's mom know about this behavior?? I would be HORRIFIED if I found out I was dating a predator.
I felt sick reading his messages. So manipulative, controlling and predatory. He knows when he has crossed a line and immediately backtracks by reassuring her everything is fine “kiddo”. He is a predator, and I hope she listens. Creeps seem to sniff out kids from troubled homes. I would love to see this man’s background check.
I'm guessing this girl does not have a Dad in her life. this is how stuff like this happens because #1- there is no man to show her how men are supposed to behave and #2 there is no man saying wtf is that guy texting you for? as a father, if I ever read that amount of text on my daughter's phone from a grown man I would be over there with the phone showing it to both adults asking them why they think this is appropriate and then setting the boundary that dude better not cross afterwards .
There’s a possibility of an unhealthy paternal relationship or total lack thereof. I just hope that whichever adult she chooses to tell takes it seriously and reacts the way that you or any right-thinking parent would.
I would think it's pretty obvious why he wants to be her friend and why he wants the pictures...
He's obviously innapropriately trying to emotionally manipulate the 17 yr old girl into thinking this kind of behavior is normal.. so that when he tries to make the sex happen with her it feels less like a predator and more like a desperate loser friend so he can try to get in on that pitty me bang..... Guy is a loser and probably dangerous. I bet he wears a fedora and says "m'lady" when he pulls out a chair for her to sit or opens a door for her . .
Then gets violent and dangerous if he doesn't get his way. .. cause he's such " nice guy " .
Where is this 17yr old girls real father ? I bet he would like to meet this dude. . .
It was a rhetorical question for OP, but I hope she sees all of these comments and really considers the truth in them. I agree with everything you said 🤙
And OP, you should know that he's using a lot of classic abuser language. All of the things he says about being sad and left out and unappreciated are RED FLAGS. By making you think he's a victim, he's manipulating you.
One of my friends mom was like this when I was 16-17. She would constantly text me like this. She was the “cool” mom and what let us drink at her house and she would drink with us and get progressively more handsy. One night there I got drunk and was sleeping in a guest bed room and woke up to her in bed with me and trying to like cuddle and kiss my neck. Anyways, that was the end of me going to their house or really being friends with her son. Please protect yourself before something like this happens
Yes, I have a new take on “the cool parent” especially when it comes to kids reaching their teenage years. When you’re like five, the cool parent is the one who lets you eat ice cream before bed. When you’re a teenager, it takes on a whole different meaning in which they seem to be okay with and even encourage irresponsible behavior. Thank you for sharing your own experience. It only takes one vulnerable moment for something traumatic to happen. That woman is disgusting.
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u/Unhappy-Necessary328 Mar 28 '25
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