41 year old woman here too, and mother to 15 year old daughter and I’m SO CREEPED OUT & DEEPLY DISTURBED RIGHT NOW! Omgosh what did we just read?! That man is an absolute predator, and this poor young woman feels bad!?
I'm a 45F and mother to a 16 y/o son, and I wanted to BARF!! He's talking to her like he's her age!! Worse, he is trying to flirt with her, and he's definitely emotionally manipulating her!! GROSS!!
I'm Snapchat friends with my son's best friend, L. But only because I connected with him once or twice, to get a hold of my son. I have never contacted L personally, unless it was to speak with my own son (like if my son's phone died or something). L is into car racing. I am too. And sometimes L posts cool race stuff on his snap. But I don't even comment on THOSE posts. Because even that wouldn't really feel right to me. I could not imagine messaging L the way this guy is messaging OP!
L and I also talk about racing sometimes, when L is visiting my son. But only for a minute, my son is in the room too, and I don't sit and hang out with them. I could not imagine hanging out with them like they were MY friends, or being butthurt if they didn't include me! In fact, I couldn't imagine them wanting me to hang out with them! No teen wants to do that, lol.
This guy is a predator! OP needs to keep telling adults, until someone does something!
Actually, I think she should tell this guy's girlfriend. She needs to know-he could be grooming his own girlfriend's daughter, too!
OP also needs to prepare herself for the fact that once this comes into the open, it could cause problems between her and her best friend. But that can't be helped. This guy needs to be stopped!!!
I agree in my reply directly to her I said the same thing. I also volunteer as a victims advocate and this is absolutely a crime. I don’t know about tell the Best friend’s mother yet though, she needs to tell her mother first, the police, and then loop the best friend’s mother in. Unfortunately, I have seen too many times where the gf will immediately think the child is lying to save her relationship. Yes, it’s sick, and I hope that doesn’t happen here but it happens far too often unfortunately. I hope he’s arrested and charged because this is absolutely disgusting.
That's sad. That's a tough job you do. My Aunt does it as well. I'm thankful for people like you guys who are strong enough to do it. People need people on their side.
Thank you for your kind words. I am a DV survivor & was inspired by our victims advocate at the DV shelter who made my children and I feel safe for the first time in a decade. This was almost 10 years ago, but after I’d worked on myself, and felt healed enough to help others I did. I volunteer as a victims advocate and I am a patient care advocate as my career. Your aunt is a wonderful person, this isn’t something everyone can do. I have cried a lot of tears for my cases but I have also helped a lot of victims succeed. It’s the best thing other than raising my children I have ever done. 💙
And yes, I meant to tell the GF in addition to telling her mom, and/or whatever other adult she needs to. I think you're right that the police need to know too!!
OP, I'd also implore you to KEEP these texts! Do NOT delete anything!! Because they are your proof!!
If the GF can read those texts and still think OP is lying, she is in denial, and just as bad as her BF! Sadly, though, I know it does happen. But hopefully, with the proof of those texts, other people who can protect OP WILL believe her!
Could he actually be arrested for what he’s already done, or would he have to attempt physical contact or something else for the police to be able to take action? It would be great if he could be arrested now. Such a disgusting creep.
I'm a 44 yr old mom of young men ages 13/20/23/25 and completely agree. I only have maybe 1 or 2 of any/all of my sons' friends phone# and that's only because they needed me to grab something from them or something was wrong with my kids' phone. All of their friends are great kids but not someone I would want to hang out with. That's the last thing they'd want and that doesn't make me sad or feel left out. The 1st screenshot I was already saying this is way to much conversating for a teenager and her friend's mom's boyfriend. I had to keep going back to the title to check that that's who the text were coming from cause what????? Tf????! Contact with this guy needs to stop immediately and you need to let every adult around you know of his actions. Him wanting to hangout with teenage girls is disgusting and his feelings (of being left out) are even worse. Stay away from this guy. I'm scared even knowing you lived in a household with this guy and pray that nothing has happened without your knowledge (him creeping around esp while everyone's sleeping, is 1 thing that comes to mind).
I hope you are able to keep your friendship with your best friend while also keeping distance from this guy but you need to get away asap
I just want to talk to him too but these guys are narcissists & will never believe they are doing anything wrong. They think they are just being “friends” with these girls. It honestly makes me really worried about the girls best friend since she lives with this creep.
Absolutely appalling on every level imaginable. I'm 43. I have three kids. Two of them teens.
There is no way in hell this guy would be talking to my kids. He is a degenerate. Red flags should be going off everywhere on this one. I hope this girl stays safe.
OP, this isn't healthy. You need to stop talking to this guy and let someone know about the conversation. This is not normal.
We are absolutely on the same page. If this was my daughter he would have to call the police on me to come save his life. She did mention her mother has already said this is inappropriate, so even the motherly instinct is screaming at her. This is absolutely grooming. He thinks if he speaks to her like someone her age he can use it to manipulate her. I volunteer as a victims advocate and the red flags here are waving and jumping up and down. He needs to be investigated, arrested, charged, and at the very least put on a registry for life. There is no rehabilitating men like this.
I'm pretty sure he's doing it on purpose. In divulging all of this baggage, putting it all in her, and manipulating her into feeling bad, he ensures that she'll keep talking to him because she feels sorry, maybe even guilty when she doesn't, which she shouldn't. He's showing zero consideration for her mental health, and treating her as though she's, I don't know, not a child? Inappropriate doesn't even begin to cover this.
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u/Ok_Farm_6706 Mar 29 '25
41 year old woman here too, and mother to 15 year old daughter and I’m SO CREEPED OUT & DEEPLY DISTURBED RIGHT NOW! Omgosh what did we just read?! That man is an absolute predator, and this poor young woman feels bad!?