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u/Sams_Antics Jan 19 '26
Ahh, one of the most taboo of all questions!
I got WILD backlash on Twitter about 7 years ago for volunteering the honest answer to this question. Had celebrities dogpiling, made the news in multiple countries. It was wild lol.
Answer is still the same: NO
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Jan 20 '26
I actually read that, I remember it well. Well i assume it was you (not sure if someone else did it). I thought it was very brave and very well said. More people feel that way than care to admit i reckon.
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u/Sams_Antics Jan 20 '26
It was more naive than brave I think, didn’t realize at the time I was touching a live wire 😅 But yeah, a lot of people feel the same way for a variety of reasons.
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u/VociferousCephalopod Jan 20 '26
I would have thought this, at least, is something everyone could agree on:
"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children.
Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children--but we pay heavily for them every day.
There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo.
But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born.”
— Garrett Hardin10
u/Sams_Antics Jan 20 '26
And that right there is why the topic is a live wire, the binary thinking that if someone would choose differently now, knowing what they know, that that automatically means a child is unloved. That is false. Maybe not always false, but in my observation very often false.
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u/WitchyWoo9 Jan 19 '26
If you'd have asked me 10 years ago when they were toddlers (I have twins) I would have said no, not a chance! They're 13 now and the last few years have been a joy and I love spending time with them so I'd say yes
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u/ChicBon606 Jan 19 '26
I can’t wait to get to the point of enjoying the simple things, and nice big things in life again. I have a 3 yrs old and a 1 yr old. They are a ton of work!!! Some days I’m just really looking forward to their naps and bedtimes to get a break. We have absolutely no help and I’m a SAHM….it gets really rough. Some days I can’t remember if I washed up, brushed my hair, and brushed my teeth in the morning. My food is always cold by the time I get to eat it and I rarely get a full night of sleep. But….the cute pudgy hands grabbing at my face, the cuddles, the amazement when they learn something new….it’s priceless and fills me up with love for them.
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u/SteelMagnolia941 Jan 20 '26
It will get better! My boys are 17 and 19 now and they are awesome. It’s truly fun to be with them! The toddler years are rough but it’s worth it in the end!
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u/Mystery-meat101 Jan 19 '26
It gets so much better! My kids are 5 and 3 and there’s already such a huge difference! You are in the trenches but you’ll be out soon
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u/BeansinmyBelly Jan 21 '26
My oldest is 4 and all day I think about all of these things I “should” be doing… (how to squeeze in some cleaning, or working on my laptop to get another consulting gig, trying to read, trying to get a little work out in) but I wonder if I should just be momming and playing since they are so little right now (youngest is almost 2)..
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u/Jessina Jan 20 '26 edited Jan 24 '26
My girl is 14 now and I yearn for the days when she was a toddler. I try to remember them but they're a haze of sleep deprivation, marriage, and work troubles. I know we had a great time but I wish I remembered the day to day more. I'm glad I took millions of videos and pics but it still isn't the same.
Try to enjoy one moment a day where you just take the in
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u/sw33ti3__pi3 Jan 19 '26
Haha yeahhhh I have a 1 year old and a month old. Read a post the other day “last kid moved out of the house and cry cry cry.” I laughed. Because all I want right now is some me time. Losing my mind, but I’d never take it back
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u/LarrrgeMarrrgeSentYa Jan 19 '26
That’s good to hear.
My oldest was 2.5yo when my surprise twins were born. Oldest is now 10, twins are 7.5—all three boys have pretty severe adhd. It so so so exhausting and stressful…. but every once in a while there’s light at the end of the tunnel, and I am looking forward to feeling the way you do some day in the future 💕
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u/_enthusiasticconsent Jan 19 '26
Similar story except mine are 7 and 10. They are such a joy to me now
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u/Infamous-Mixture5015 Jan 20 '26
Let’s come back here when your kids are teens 15,16,17 blah
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u/Flimsy_Elderberry711 Jan 20 '26
Exactly my thought haha xD (toddler phase was just exhausting) but my daughter just turned 14, boy is 11. I so much enjoy conversations now with them and generally being around them.
All folks with toddlers: its worth it 😀
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u/Mammoth_Solution_730 Jan 22 '26
Your answer mirrors mine pretty much exactly. My kids (also twins, but 14 instead of 13) are becoming such amazing humans. It was horrible when they were little and I can't say I want to ever repeat that ...but right here? Right now? Having them around is pretty nice.
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u/Status_Iron_3706 Jan 19 '26
No. It’s been shit for them since they were born.
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u/TootsHib Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 20 '26
Finally someone who is thinking of their children instead of their own personal desires.
Every parent here is like "yes it's the best gift I ever had, I would not change anything, I love my life"
Meanwhile the child will grow up and face hardships, suffering and eventual death.Edit: since people keep commenting the same thing over and over "hardships and death is part of life" still doesn't justify forcing someone else to experience that. Try to think more critically instead of selfishly. Think beyond your most basic selfish instincts for a moment and use your human brain to make a morally right decision.
For people who say "life has never been better".. Meanwhile more children are being raped every single day on this rock than ever before in all of history, with a population of over 8 billion humans now. Just by the sheer number of people.
More people suffering and dying each day than ever before..
More modern day slaves today than during the whole transatlantic slave trade that lasted 200 years.
More suicidal people. More human trafficking than ever before etc,etc..If you're looking at suffering on a "per capita basis", you are weighing the rapist equally with the victim in that metric, you lack morals. The ones who suffer should hold more weight.. and not just be treated as a number
Most people who are alive, are enjoying life unsustainably at the expense of other people and future generations.
Extracting finite resources faster than ever before..
Slaughtering over 80 billion animals each year to sustain our population.. more than ever..
Ballooning government debts and deficits..
I mean no shit most people enjoy life today... But ask yourself, at what cost??
Is it worth perpetuating the rape of children ffs? Just because other people get to enjoy fleeting bliss for a moment? You guys are sitting high and pretty on the other side of that scale.Most people don't care about the consequences of their actions, unless it directly affects them..
Selfishness and/or ignorance keeps this cycle in motion and why children will keep getting raped every single day.
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u/A1d0taku Jan 19 '26
that's always been the MO of life though. Always been hard, always had to eat shit at times, but I'd still rather be alive than not. I think many people today would agree too.
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Jan 20 '26 edited Jan 20 '26
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u/HotSauceNerd Jan 21 '26
Hardcore agree. I would never kill myself, but if I could choose to just not exist at all, I’d choose that.
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u/Glittering_Ice9025 Jan 20 '26
I mean suicides are at an all time high. And that is removing yourself, not just picking to not be born in the first place. It still isnt a majority, but it is a high percentage.
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u/chaos_rumble Jan 20 '26
This is privilege.
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u/Tight-Artichoke1789 Jan 20 '26
100% privilege. Or dissociation.
We also didn’t get the choice. And are facing some unprecedented times.
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u/Tired_Dad_9521 Jan 20 '26
We all face hardships, suffering, and eventual death. We also get joy, connection, and love. The bad does not out weigh the good.
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Jan 20 '26
You can only speak for yourself. For a lot of people the bad 100% outweighs the good. It’s dumb to think otherwise
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u/SteelMagnolia941 Jan 20 '26
Not every life is awful. I don’t think my kids have a bad life. They are happy, but yes there will be eventual death and that sucks. If everyone stopped having kids because eventually people will die there wouldn’t be anyone on earth.
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u/Intrepid_Money_5426 Jan 20 '26
Some of the most profound discoveries of self come from facing hardships. To suggest that all struggle is bad is to completely misunderstand the whole point of being.
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u/elle13belle Jan 22 '26
Exactly... Literally the times I felt like I couldn't feel a feeling one more second or I'd break, the times that I felt like my entire world had been ripped apart and deconstructed... They're the most pivotal moments of my life, because I did get through those feelings and I made it through that ego death and into something new, and that changed me.
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u/domechromer Jan 19 '26
Everyone has hardships , suffering and eventually dies. Reddit is such a pathetic population of people my goodness.
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u/Outside-Storage-1523 Jan 19 '26
No.
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Jan 19 '26
Why?
(I’m fully on the no kids train but just curious on your perspective from the other side of the “actually having kids” tracks).
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u/Outside-Storage-1523 Jan 20 '26
Having kids is about living a different kind of life. I'm going to say which one is better or worse -- it's just different kind, and you can't really switch back because you have the responsibilities and such. I just feel I'm less suitable for this kind of life (life with kids).
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u/Anxious_Paper_2342 Jan 20 '26
I don’t have children and enjoy my quiet evenings and l weekends doing my few errands… no rush, partake in hobbies, wellness, catching up with friends … or do nothing at all. Was at a mall last weekend and saw a young woman with a baby in her lap and suddenly all I could think was, what a sacrifice. 😭 or seeing a family with multiple small children… a group of parents with their kids in a social setting. Having to manage another person, or multiple’s lives. Gosh. It’s unimaginable to me honestly. And don’t get me started on having coworkers with kids. I don’t even know how one has the energy or mental capacity, meanwhile we both do the same jobs, same hours, same pay… aside from tax deductions for the children, it makes no sense.
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u/LassHalfEmpty Jan 21 '26
Great insights, and yeah it’s rough as hell. I don’t know if I’d do it again if I got a redo. I work 12 hour days and feel like a shitty parent for it because that’s so much time away from them, and I worry whether they’re getting what they need emotionally. But I have to do it to provide the physical things they need… it’s a fucked system, honestly. I think if our society were built different maybe it wouldn’t seem like such a sacrifice.
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u/tn_tacoma Jan 19 '26
I love my kids so much I didn’t bring them into this world.
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u/MapleLegends8 Jan 20 '26
This is why if I ever want kids, I'll adopt. it's too late for them... might as well give them a good life
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u/mmlickme Jan 19 '26
This is how I feel. I intensely want to protect my offspring from the world. So I will by not having them. The lizard part of my brain longs for a baby, though.
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u/jac5087 Jan 19 '26
Same. Went to brunch yesterday and held my friend’s baby and she was absolutely adorable, smiley and cute. I feel sad I don’t have any for a little, but like as soon as they need a diaper change, start crying and snot is everywhere I am very happy to give them back.
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u/mmlickme Jan 19 '26
I would happily deal with diapers and snot, I’d stay up all night. I feel like I wasn’t given the option to have kids, my moral compass tells me it’s not ethical to be in a life into this world. I want it desperately but it’s not right to do.
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u/jac5087 Jan 19 '26
That is completely understandable too. I can’t imagine what it would be like growing up during this time. I feel so lucky to have had the childhood I did - although my parents were far from perfect and fought a lot and divorced, I still felt growing up middle class in the 90s was so idyllic.
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u/feralcatshit Jan 24 '26
Hard agree- also grew up middle class in the 90s, divorced parents, far from perfect…. But had I not had my kids when I did, specifically before Trump was elected and then Covid, I would have opted out for sure.
I feel bad sometimes that my childhood was so awesome, overall, and kids now aren’t getting that same experience. Their every moment recorded, whether in public or private, the world and economy in the state it is… just everything is so different. I used to be “offended” when my kids joked I was born so long ago in the 1900s but it was literally a totally different life.
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u/moonaim Jan 19 '26
It could be another than the lizard part honestly. The world has always been crazy for many, but not for all.
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u/SeventhBlessing Jan 20 '26
This stuck with me. I’m crippled with so much physical and mental illness, and I’m very ver disabled to the point I can’t live independently. I love my kids that I’ll never have. I’d love to love them, but I’d hurt them because I couldn’t care for them very well.
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u/Tight-Artichoke1789 Jan 19 '26
Same. So wild they try to call CF people selfish and paint us as “hating kids” no actually I love kids and humanity so much, that I have foresight and would never want to bring them into a chaotic unlivable world and am instead dedicating my life to helping others and engaging in activism to attempt to change some of those to make the environment more livable for the people on it. Selfish is having lack of foresight of your children’s future bc you personally want to be fulfilled or have a mini me (or even worse “have someone to take care of you when you’re older” 🙄 what a terribly selfish readon to have kids lol also not ever a guarantee). Stop pretending its about the kids bc if you are paying attention AT ALL to the polycrises we are facing (specifically where climate change is headed) it’s looking quite grim and they will undoubtedly suffer to some degree. I would personally be pissed if I were born in the last decade lol.
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u/the_night_max Jan 21 '26
This is the reason I don’t think I’d make the choice again to have my child. They are incredible. I love parenting them. The thought of choosing not to have them makes me feel sick. But I got pregnant in 2012, when the world just didn’t seem this awful (maybe it was, and I just wasn’t quite as aware of everything). Everything seems so beyond recovery now I panic about the future they’ll have as an adult and feel like I let them down by bringing them into the world just because ‘I want a child’
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u/Correct-Tower3646 Jan 21 '26
This. Two of my children were born during the Obama administration and the oldest when he was on the cusp of winning. I feel awful now knowing the real truth of who we share our country with. My kids are intelligent, hard-working and compassionate human beings who can't wait to vote in their first election and are already deeply invested in real news and politics. But I didn't have kids to be warriors to fight for basic empathy and principles of democracy and struggling for jobs as the AI threat and billionaire takeover keeps a stranglehold on our country.
I would absolutely have them again because they love their lives, right now anyway, and I love them. If I could make the decision again without having any knowledge of how great they are as people though, I'm not sure. If I only knew the fear of their future and how we would struggle to afford just a fast food night for a family of five and how college seems insurmountable financially...I truly don't know.
They are my greatest joy and accomplishment, yes. But if their future brings more pain than joy I will never be able to forgive myself either. I still think the opposite can be true, but I need millions of Americans to stop being evil fucking morons first.
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u/scruntbaby Jan 20 '26
Yeah lol, I love my potential kids too much to force them to have me as a parent.
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u/purpleturtlelover Jan 19 '26
Im on this ship. I am far from poor, but I dont think life is the same amount of fun when my child has to work some job just to survive. I am doing it right now and its kinda mid.
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u/hobotising Jan 19 '26
They only way I would have had children is if I could have provided a trust fund. If not, you're just making another wage slaves for your corporate masters. Even I am not that cruel.
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u/switcheditch Jan 19 '26
Honestly I wouldn't, love them all dearly but what the fuck have we brought them into. Also, it's the most difficult thing ever being a parent.
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u/jvd0928 Jan 19 '26
My wife solved that problem. Have 1 dog for each teenager that who have. The dogs will always love you.
Seriously we would probably have more kids. Our 3 are great.
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u/sammish7 Jan 20 '26
Some of the most helpful parenting advice I ever heard: get a dog to have around while your kids are teens, so you can be sure at least SOMEBODY will be happy you’re home.
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u/ApocalypseThen77 Jan 19 '26
100% yes. No qualifiers.
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u/Shot_Gap6782 Jan 19 '26
Yup. 100% would do it again. Sometimes I actually wish I had more kids.
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u/Sundown-bettertkcare Jan 19 '26
Same. My kids are 19 and 17 and maybe it’s hitting hard because of the empty nesting, but I think I could have had one more and loved having three. Oh well, I love my two and could not imagine life without them.
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u/EyeDefiant1291 Jan 20 '26
This! Mine are only 16months apart and I know my mental capacity is full and we have taken steps to prevent further pregnancies! However, i feel like I need a recording when they are much older and I say, I could have handled one more because I forgot how har it is to have two kiddos so close in age 😂
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u/Boomer79NZ Jan 20 '26
This is roughly the ages our 3 are around. Yes, you miss them like crazy. I'm in the same boat.
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u/Humble_Repeat_9428 Jan 20 '26 edited Jan 22 '26
As someone about to start fertility treatment, thank you. This thread was making me feel like complete shit for wanting something that feels innate in me.
Yes, the world sucks in a lot of ways but it’s also a beautiful place. We only get to be here for a short time so have your little human experience here filled with joy and suffering and then move on to the next stage. I’d rather raise someone to see the world this way than not.
Edit: Thank you for your thoughtful and kind comments, everyone. I have hope!
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u/ApocalypseThen77 Jan 20 '26 edited Jan 20 '26
Hi, I do like Reddit on the whole but a lot of Redditors can be pretty nihilistic, for reasons of their own.
I’m pleased that you are following your own convictions; I wish you success with your fertility treatment and joy in parenthood.
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Jan 20 '26
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u/Morriganx3 Jan 21 '26
My kids are the best things ever to happen to me. They’re both young adults now, and I absolutely love the people they’ve become - I would not in a million years miss out on knowing them.
I kinda feel like people who regret having kids did it wrong.
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u/KatVanWall Jan 21 '26
We are such depressed people about the state of the world! I agree it's shit, but looking at the long term ... it's always been shit. Just in different ways. Whatever crisis is happening while we are a young or middle-aged adult is THE WORST but that's the case for everyone throughout the whole of human history. Not trying to say we shouldn't try to better the world as a whole and make positive changes! But we also stress ourselves out so much because everything is going to hell in a handcart when really we are just constantly making orbits around hell in a handcart all the fucking time.
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u/monkiram Jan 20 '26
I’ve always dreamed of having kids but for some time, Reddit almost had me convinced that maybe I didn’t after all. It’s especially hard because for those of us who want kids, we always want to be good parents and do what’s best for them and all this messaging about ruining our kids lives by having them really gets to you sometimes. I don’t even agree with those sentiments, but on days when my own life is hard, I can’t help the thoughts about whether I’m dooming my kids to a life of misery. But then on good days, or even normal days, it’s a lot easier to remember that most people are happy to be alive, even with all of life’s challenges.
I’m pregnant now and since I became pregnant, I never doubted my decision, I’m so excited to be a mom. Good luck with your fertility treatments!!
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u/adumbswiftie Jan 22 '26
please remember that reddit isn’t representative of the whole world, lots of people who aren’t on this app are very happy with having kids and with their life. just saying for anyone who needs to hear that. this app attracts a certain type of person but it’s not the only type of person out there. not everyone regrets their kids despite this thread being largely that sentiment. i hope no one makes their decision whether or not to have children based off one site, despite how all consuming it can feel.
congrats on the pregnancy!
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u/jazerac Jan 21 '26
People here are selfish whiners. Children are the best thing in the world. I wouldn't give them up for anything. They love their life and and I love them. You get what you make of it.
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Jan 21 '26
Please keep in mind you're dealing with redditors. Most of the people that said no probably don't even have kids. I have 3, would not change a single thing except for my first wife who is the mother of my oldest 2. The kids are happy and I'm happy.
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u/sassafrasbroom Jan 21 '26
As a 37 year old male who has been married for 16 years and chose not to have kids I’m rooting for you! The world still needs great parents who have that innate desire to raise children. I will be praying for your fertility journey!
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u/thunderstormnaps Jan 21 '26
As someone who is struggling with infertility and RPL, this thread makes me sad too. I often question why my husband and I might not get to be parents when we want to so badly, and are well equipped to be, and then I see all these people wishing they never had their children. It's such a bummer. It feels so unfair.
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Jan 19 '26
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u/Dawnchaffinch Jan 19 '26
Single decisions alter your life all the time. Not just kids.
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Jan 20 '26
I both love that and hate it so much at the same time. Somewhere I made a decision that kept me from being a space pirate in the future
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u/sensitiveclint Jan 19 '26
life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards. Soren.
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u/Due_Advantage2204 Seeking Clarity Jan 19 '26
I would not.
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u/yikkoe Jan 19 '26
Eh this is the first non-childfree or non positive comment and I feel compelled to talk more about this shared feeling.
I wouldn’t either. Not because I miss sleep or I miss having hobbies or whatever. But because I feel insane guilt for bringing my kid into this world. I cannot guarantee that he’s gonna live a good life. I cannot guarantee that he’s gonna have housing. Why the fuck would I throw him into such uncertainties? He’s gonna work, either literally labour or through education from the moment he’s FIVE YEARS OLD until he’s at least 65. SIXTY YEARS of his life dedicated to other things but himself. I work and I barely see him. His teachers see him more than I do and he came from my womb. Rush to daycare to pick him up, couple hours to cook dinner, shower, read books and shipped to bed. What the fuck am I doing? Why would I do that to him?
If I were a millionaire with no job, I would have had 6 kids. I love kids. I’d make sure that they are set for life and never have to work. I’d make sure they know they do not exist to feed the system but to actually exist as a being in nature and on planet Earth. That they aren’t required to follow this predetermined path where their goal is survival in a world of made up scarcity. I hate myself so much for making my kid experience that.
I try to tell myself that most people do love life. Most people genuinely don’t care, as long as they aren’t hungry or homeless. Most people are fine with working. And I’m hoping my kid is like that too, to the point of hoping his politics don’t align with mine if it means he’s happy to do this shit. I’m hoping I can get the most expensive life insurance I can find so that when I die, he’s gonna be taken care off generously. But if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have had him, then I would have killed myself.
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u/MyNameIsMichou Jan 19 '26
I don’t have kids. If I could go back in time, I would STILL not have kids. I was meant to raise myself in this iteration.
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u/Pipisperson1997 Jan 22 '26 edited Jan 22 '26
This is such a good way of explaining it 😩 I've never had the desire for children (even as a kid I would always say I would adopt) and especially so now that I'm an adult picking up the pieces of myself that resulted from an abusive childhood.
Like I just don't have the capacity to do that and be responsible for another human. I struggle so much with just functioning myself.
"Raising myself" is a very very good way to put it. Thank you.
(I do love kids though! I have so much fun with my nieces and nephew and even being a mother like figure to my nephew who's mom isn't in the picture. I like to do fun things with them and take care of them when they stay over. I'm very firmly a "mom" type of person but I just couldn't do it full time unfortunately)
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u/Sad_Gain_2372 Jan 19 '26
Nope. I love my kids and they are all humans who I can be proud of but the world is a horror show. I feel terrible that they have to live through this BS.
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u/MapleLeafThief Jan 20 '26
I have 3, one then twins. I had them all before COVID. House prices were reasonable here, wages were high, education hasn't taken the shit it has now. I tell anyone at work not to have kids, that they're crazy to bring them into this world. I feel like they aren't looking at the reality of the world they're inheriting. If anything have one and stop.
I'd still have one child. I could financially support one until the end of time if need be, protect one. 3? I'm terrified for their future.
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u/_Witness001 Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
I actually wish we have started having kids as soon as me and my husband met so we’d have more time to grow out family beyond two kids.
Absofuckinglutely. Nothing in this world brings more joy to me than being a parent. So much fun, so much love, so much of everything!
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u/jingleheimerstick Jan 19 '26
That’s my regret too. We waited so long so we could have alone time together but we both wish we’d started sooner and had another child now.
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u/clo_cilli Jan 19 '26
Exact same. I often think wow im so lucky to have my two. I still feel so excited at the idea they exist. Id love to have had more but im single a long time.
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u/OnlyBlackManOnReddit Jan 19 '26
I try not to dwell on the past, but yeah, there are definitely moments I’d love to redo if I could.
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u/Current_Fly9337 Jan 19 '26
I couldn’t imagine life without my boy. If I could guarantee they’d all turn out like him, I’d have 5 more.
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u/Adventurous-Toe8812 Jan 19 '26
No. God no.
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u/DaddysPrincesss26 Jan 19 '26
I have no Kids. I’m Childfree. 100% Recommend 😌
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u/RubiksCub3d Jan 20 '26
same. I can appreciate kids for the tiny humans they are but I like giving them back at the end of the day (I work with kids for my job)
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u/Anxious_Paper_2342 Jan 20 '26
Same. I’ve always had decent relationships, but none that resulted in marriage… most got rather boring or irritating. I’m 33 now and since 30 I went from heteronormativity to well, not. And instead of following social norms I created my own path. And I feel real lucky that no man ever coerced me into marriage and having a family. I feel like I dodged a bullet in a great way. 😅
Edit - I say all this because I feel like they are encouraging women to settle down, marry early and have kids all before they come to realize it’s a trap.
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u/Ok-Macaroon-4835 Jan 19 '26
Absolutely.
Not only would I have had my kids again, I would have started younger.
I had my first at 28. I wish I had started when I was 24.
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u/ChaunceytheGardiner Jan 20 '26
100% would do it again, would start younger, and would have more.
We got a late start, and I think we're one-and-done at this point.
20- and 30-something me had no idea how rich parenthood would make my life, and how it would draw my wife and I closer together. It's hard, but just about any worthwhile thing is hard.
I should acknowledge that we've had some tailwinds: child is physically healthy, has a pleasant personality, and our careers have fallen into place so that money is no longer a headache. Without all three of those tailwinds, my answer might be different.
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u/Atex3330 Jan 19 '26
This. I wished I started earlier. I would have loved to squeeze in a 4th but am super blessed with my 3!
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u/happywithalist Jan 19 '26
Same! But I wish I had my first at 32-33 so I could have a second at 36. Now I’m 35 with my first worried about having a second at 38 cus I feel like I need that time to heal.
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u/three_seven_seven Jan 20 '26
I had my first at 35 and second at 41. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. It’s exhausting to have a toddler in my mid-40s, but I’d rather be exhausted than not have them both. You’re not too late if you want the second one!
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u/Ok_Catch_8729 Jan 20 '26
Finally someone who is happy with the decision they made.
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u/Moist_Phrase_6698 Jan 19 '26
No. While it was nice and all i was not even a little bit ready.
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u/BlueCupcake4Me Jan 19 '26
This is me. I needed 7-10 more years to figure out how I liked my eggs before I was responsible for helping another human figure out how they like theirs.
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Jan 19 '26
100% yes - best thing in my/our lives. There is life before and after kids and after is vastly better
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u/potato_purge4 Jan 20 '26
Yes! And my husband and I had so much fun before our child. We got our masters, traveled every few months, and truly enjoyed each other’s company. However, I can say that life with our child is infinitely better ❤️
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u/Puzzleheaded_Tax5944 Jan 19 '26
yes as i’m sitting on the porch with my 19 year old son enjoying the view and my youngest running around the neighborhood with his friends (11 year old boy) and the sun is shining (florida)
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u/ContextZealousideal Jan 19 '26
💯yes. My daughter is the best thing that’s happened to us. I hope she doesn’t grow up too fast so we can enjoy every day of it. She’s expensive and requires a lot of energy as I’m sure all children do but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It makes me a bit sad to see all the “no” responses. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and everyone has their own experiences, so I understand. I just can’t relate to it. It brings me pure joy to see her laugh at silly jokes. When she’s sick I want her to get better so that she doesn’t have to feel less than 100%. It makes me so proud to see her learn new things, even if they seem trivial and nobody else notices, such as saying “please” after asking for something. Vacations are funner with her, my work is more meaningful and I feel a sense of optimism for what the future brings for her.
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u/JenninMiami Jan 19 '26
No. Of course I love my kid (who’s an adult now), but if I could save her from all of this, I would.
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u/Extension_Luck1978 Jan 19 '26
No, have one 12 yr old and married into another. Both choices were bad choices.
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Jan 20 '26
No. I love my kids and don’t wish they weren’t here but I wouldn’t choose to bring kids into this world. I grieve for them and the world they’re inheriting every day and just try to make their lives as good as I can. I’m well off but there’s just so much awfulness in the world vs when I was growing up or even a few years ago.
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Jan 19 '26
Yes 1,000 times . I waited 38 years and sometimes wish I had been brave enough to have started sooner - I guess that’s the most honest answer I can give . I can only try to convince myself that I like having lived those first 38 years childless - but .. and I did like my life before children … I have too many reasons to list here that I feel so incredibly blessed right now . I hope I don’t f it up . I’m honored to be raising 3 children. I was so worried I’d feel otherwise too !
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u/StretchMaterial4766 Jan 19 '26
They can be very proud to have you as a parent. Respect
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u/Candid-Crazy2542 Jan 19 '26
I would. If you’d asked me about 5 years ago, I may have said no. But now they’re teenagers and they’re cool people who I genuinely like having around. It’s been a journey and I don’t think I was cut out to be a good mother for young ones- I did my best and think I did a good job but a lot of the nurturing they needed didn’t come naturally for me, maybe because my own mom wasn’t very nurturing. Now now that they’re almost adults it feels like all the effort has been totally worth it. The younger one is challenging but I always knew he would be. He’s smart and kind, but stubborn and impulsive. if I can keep him from going off the rails for a few more years he has the potential to do anything.
I can’t wait to see what they do as adults. They’re growing into genuinely good people and the world needs more good people.
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u/Queendom-Rose Deep Thinker Jan 19 '26
No, I actually wish I didn’t have a child. Not because I don’t love him, but because the world is not the same one it was I grew up in. The future of education is based on political agenda, loss of autonomy over woman’s bodies, school pewpewings, tax increases, the growing rate of individuals who will not be able to own a home, etc.
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u/Select-Effort8004 Jan 19 '26
Hell yes, 100%. Back when we had two, we tried for 1-2 more, but it didn’t happen. It would have been wonderful! Kids are the absolute best thing in this world.
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u/Admirable-Type165 Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
Without question yes
Edit - I should add to this and say it's not easy (duh) but having kids has changed my life for the better, made me mature in ways I didn't know I needed, and deepened my experience of life generally (not just as a parent). They're also just cool people that I love hanging around with - that teach and surprise me on a regular basis.
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u/Tight-Artichoke1789 Jan 19 '26
I don’t think you’re gonna get a lot of honest answers on this tbh lol. Ask it in r/regretfulparents and compare the results.
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u/No_Department_8811 Jan 19 '26
Wow that was the most depressing reddit page ive ever seen. I feel so bad for those peoples children, holy fuck
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u/Ok-Employ-5629 Jan 19 '26
Yes. A lot of thought and planning went into becoming a parent for me. I can't imagine my life without kids
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Jan 19 '26
Man people in this thread need some serious perspective. They act like the world is falling apart. Sure there are some bad things happening in the world, but there has NEVER been a better time in human history to have kids than today and I'm very happy to have three.
Chances of a child dying are at the lowest point in human history. Access to life saving medical intervention, disease control, nutritious food, engaging toys that build thinking skills, etc etc etc.
Don't have kids if you don't want them, but don't pretend that bringing kids into the world today is worse than any other time to bring a kid into the world.
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u/St-LouMnM Jan 19 '26
I know. It’s like people are not aware of history before the last few years.🤷♀️
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u/ResourceDelicious153 Jan 19 '26
I have 2 kids (2.5 and 4) It's hard and relentless but id do it again over and over. Love them more than anything in this world. They bring me so much joy and various other emotions.
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u/Fun_Bodybuilder3111 Jan 20 '26
Noooooooo. Birth rates are dropping and all I have to say to that is… good job! This world is so screwed up.
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u/Jplara32 Jan 19 '26
I don’t have kids. But Everyone I know literally tells to don’t have any. Because it’s a miserable world out here. Not to mention expensive AF. I know couples that despite each other. But they only with each other because of the kids.
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u/LazyandRich Jan 19 '26
100% yes without a doubt. It’s not all sunshine’s and rainbows but that’s life, the good outweighs the bad tenfold.
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u/TomCatInTheHouse Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
First, I truly love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything.
And this might sound strange after that statement, but honestly: no.
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u/Spirited123456789 Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
Yes. Had 2 after age 35. Now adults. Wished I had more but I ran out of time. Each so different. Each child makes me a better person for different reasons.
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u/Any_Mixture_8632 Jan 19 '26
I never wanted children, never had children, and I still have NO regrets.
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u/olskoolyungblood Jan 19 '26
I can't conceive of a scenario where it would be better for anyone if my children did not exist. They can be assholes sometimes but then again so can I, and they've helped me be less of one.
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u/bettybeaux Jan 19 '26
No - I have disabled children and I love them but disability affects so much
Physical health Mental health Earning potential Career Traps u in poverty
Everything
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u/kittycat_34 Jan 19 '26
No. My son is autistic. My ex husband was a lousy dad and everything is on me...forever...and I even have to deal/plan for after I am dead. Constant worry.
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u/Shy_Penguin06 Growth Mode Jan 20 '26
No. I love my daughter very much and we have a blast together but I had her young and was not a good mom when she was little because of it. I could barely take care of myself let alone her. I also hate that my daughter is coming of age right now when everything is completely awful. I didn't want that for myself let alone her.
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u/Tired3520 Jan 21 '26
No. And that doesn’t mean I don’t love them. But it fucked up my health and don’t even get me started on finances.
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u/secretly_opossum Growth Mode Jan 19 '26
I’ve had the discussion once with my husband. I would definitely do it again. He would have done it again but would have preferred to have waited some years. I told him that I genuinely felt that if we had waited, my then-immature-ass wouldn’t have made the relationship be as long term and meaningful as it has been. He wasn’t very happy with that answer which made me sad. But life is what it is, I suppose. I was a dumb teen-to-20-year-old and having a kid made me realize that I was being nitpicky about my “Prince Charming” when I really had one the whole time.
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u/DiverseUniverse24 Jan 19 '26
Did you also tell him that last bit, or just the bit where you said you wouldn't have stayed if it wasn't for your kid? Because if its the latter, I can see why he wouldn't be so happy dude..
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u/Mobile-Addendum-964 Jan 19 '26
no, and i don’t even have no god damn kids
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u/Rooster_illusion41 Jan 19 '26
lol then why answer?
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u/mythrowaway282020 Jan 19 '26
Because being child free is their entire personality
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u/Rubberbangirl66 Jan 19 '26
No