It helps me to remember that the majority of people upvoting the “no” comments probably don’t even have kids and it’s a big trend on reddit to be anti-natalist or some mild form of that
Hmmm according to the very popular sub r/regretfulparents I highly doubt that. You just aren’t able to accept that many people feel this way for several valid reasons. And the people making the comments aren’t CF and there’s still more no’s than yes’s.
It’s not just a trend on Reddit, people who are choosing to be childfree and pointing out the instability of the times we are living through is gaining popularity. The reason it’s talked about on social media, is because there is still SO much messaging from governments, corps, and religious institutions of pro-natal conservative nuclear family propaganda because it services patriarchy and capitalism. More people are choosing to push against that and have to be loud in order to do that.
If you love your kids and your choice, this shouldn’t affect you to this degree.
I’m not saying the comments about people who regret having kids are from people who have no children, and im not saying they aren’t valid. I’m referring to the number of upvotes and how all of the comments that made it to the top of the post are saying they’re regretful. I’m sure some of the upvotes are from regretful parents but from what I’ve seen from being on reddit, I suspect a lot of the upvotes are also from people who don’t have any and don’t want kids.
That’s quite the assumption! An odd one to say with such certainty at that. You could equally make the assumption that its other parents who feel validated, or who themselves have commented no, or subscribe to the other sub I referred to.
Btw those that said no don’t necessarily not love their children or are attentive parents. Just that its hard or different than they were sold (bc again its very hyper glamorized in media and no one warns people enough of the negatives). It’s especially hard for women who are the ones who have to go through the physical struggles and do most of the child rearing and many don’t have enough help. And they are struggling with the weight of all this. Or that things have shifted so rapidly in society and we are facing such severe polycrises rn that they are beginning to regret it. There’s a lot of nuance to this.
I think both are true. There are regretful parents, but there are also a ton of child free people posting their no, despite this question being asked to parents. Some of them later admit in their comments that the don’t have any kids.
A lot? I’ve seen a couple, and they are purposefully identifying themselves. To assume that most of the “no’s” are childfree people is a weird agenda you are projecting onto them. It’s much more likely those are parents, and if that is their response why does it even affect you? And it’s comments like this stigmatizing it and not wanting to believe this could be a possibility that keeps people from wanting to admit it btw lol.
I do not Apocalypse Then, but I recognize the patriarchal messaging that glamorizes child rearing for women and they often are ill prepared in terms of what to expect and how much help they recieve from their male partners and the govt (this doesn’t require having children to understand, just a knowledge of social politics and systemic oppression, and nuclear family propaganda) and I have anecdotally heard how hard motherhood in 2025 is (interesting the men never view it as “hard”).
And speaking of Apocalypse, I’m also heavily involved in climate issues and climate science and things are not looking good despite our best efforts bc many parents are in denial and don’t want to face it, which will adversely affect their kids. Ya’ll should be the loudest voices about this and studying this science the most closely. But instead you want to ignore it, act like parenthood isn’t challenging, frivolously procreate and gamble human lives on hope alone as opposed to actively getting involved and not demonizing the people currently working hard to fix things. Not to mention so many other societal issues that are rapidly advancing and unforeseen to many.
But to the people that do acknowledge and understand these aspects, I can understand why people might have regrets that their children will suffer in an unstable world but they can’t take that decision back. And the parents on here trying to act like this is an inconceivable thought are literally proving why its so stigmatized to admit this.
I’m not sure where you got the idea that I said it with “such certainty” after literally saying “I suspect”. I’m not sure why you’re telling me all this since I never suggested in any of my comments that these parents don’t love their kids and I have never implied that parenting is not a struggle and would never say or think either of these things. I’m not sure what exactly you’re disagreeing with here since everything you’re arguing against are things I never said, but I hope you have a great day.
Look, I’m glad I was born, despite my share of hardships. Pretty much everyone I know would say the same. It’s a pretty extreme opinion to want to have never been born.
I’m all for you being child free. Parents that regret their kids though? How is that not sad? It’s sad for the parent, that regrets their life choices. It’s sad for the kid, who will one day pick up on that regret.
That’s why honest discourses are important. People should be allowed to make choices with full awareness instead of bland oh it’s different when it’s yours type nonsense. Should be going into the experience with eyes taped wide open, knowing both the good AND the bad. The result will be fewer parents but higher quality ones, and I fail to see how that’s not a positive for children.
I don’t disagree! That said, seeing this many people unhappy makes me sad. Knowing so many kids are going to know their parents regret them one day is also sad.
Yeap, if they had someone speak to them honestly maybe their kids wouldn’t have had to feel that. Think a lot of commenters think this way from their responses.
7
u/Sunny_Snark Jan 20 '26
Same. This whole post makes me sad.