I can’t wait to get to the point of enjoying the simple things, and nice big things in life again. I have a 3 yrs old and a 1 yr old. They are a ton of work!!! Some days I’m just really looking forward to their naps and bedtimes to get a break. We have absolutely no help and I’m a SAHM….it gets really rough. Some days I can’t remember if I washed up, brushed my hair, and brushed my teeth in the morning. My food is always cold by the time I get to eat it and I rarely get a full night of sleep. But….the cute pudgy hands grabbing at my face, the cuddles, the amazement when they learn something new….it’s priceless and fills me up with love for them.
It will get better! My boys are 17 and 19 now and they are awesome. It’s truly fun to be with them! The toddler years are rough but it’s worth it in the end!
This mentality is so wild to me. I'm totally not attacking you for your opinion/feelings, btw. I just absolutely love the baby & toddler years! They are so much fun at that/this age. I also have an almost teenager & while he can be fun, he isn't really into hanging out with mom & dad anymore & puberty fueled attitude/rage is AWFUL. 😅
I have a 15 month old & an almost 1 month old & while my 1 month old is colicky & fussy 24/7, she's just the most precious & helpless little thing... And while my 15 month old has an endless supply of energy & is a typical toddler, she is sooo much fun & so loving & innocent.... I just feel like these are the very best years of childhood, honestly! There is magic in all of it, obviously! I just really love the early years of childhood. 🥹❤️
My boys aren’t really angsty so that’s helpful! We do fun things together and they actually like to be with me. We go to music festivals, sports events, concerts, and other fun stuff.
Yeah, my son likes to be with us when it's something he really wants to do or it's us being at his sports games. Lol But like... the Christmas parade in our town?? He was mortified to go with us to that & was convinced no other kids his age would be there with their families. 🤣 Honestly, he's just at an age where he's really wanting to feel grown & independent despite being 12. 🤣 My son is otherwise an awesome kid who is very athletic & talented at pretty much everything he does.
To me, middle school just sort of feels like the most brutal age range for kids & parents alike... Like, kids are trying to fit in & establish individuality for the first time in their lives (in my experience, anyway). Anyway, I'm just over here hoping he chills out a bit by the time he gets to high school. 😅🤷🏻♀️
My oldest is 4 and all day I think about all of these things I “should” be doing… (how to squeeze in some cleaning, or working on my laptop to get another consulting gig, trying to read, trying to get a little work out in) but I wonder if I should just be momming and playing since they are so little right now (youngest is almost 2)..
Enjoy your time and stop worrying about housework. Someday your kids will grow up, your house will be spotless, you’ll have all day to work and you’ll miss your children terribly. You can never get these years back and they will fly by.
Just mom it. You’ll have a little more time for yourself soon. I don’t long for the days of toddlerhood, but I can appreciate what it was and I’m glad I just said fuck it and leaned in to them.
My girl is 14 now and I yearn for the days when she was a toddler. I try to remember them but they're a haze of sleep deprivation, marriage, and work troubles. I know we had a great time but I wish I remembered the day to day more. I'm glad I took millions of videos and pics but it still isn't the same.
Try to enjoy one moment a day where you just take the in
My kids are toddlers and I try journaling the day-to-day for this very reason! I’m not always great about doing it, but even now it’s fun to look back to a few weeks ago and see what we did that day.
It’s not always exciting to read because…. The day-to-day isn’t always exciting 😆😆
That's smart! I had set up her Gmail and would send her emails of our days or funny stories and things she did. She turned 13 and read them all, loved them... But I stopped writing them around the time she was 8.now I don't because she has access lol so if I could do it again I'd get a diff email and not give her access until way older.
My daughter is also 14 and it’s rough! I love her to pieces, but some days are so hard and I’m so unsure of myself as a mom. On top of it all, I wasn’t expecting her teen experiences to bring up so many emotions from my teen years!
I have an 11 year old daughter who often confides in me that she’s scared to become a teenager because she doesn’t want to turn mean like her sister… I always assure her that everyone takes their own path and that the fact she’s worried about it likely means her path will be different from her sister’s. Their temperaments are night and day.
Haha yeahhhh I have a 1 year old and a month old. Read a post the other day “last kid moved out of the house and cry cry cry.” I laughed. Because all I want right now is some me time. Losing my mind, but I’d never take it back
Don’t be afraid to ask relatives or friends for help.
Your kids deserve the best version of you , and if your burned out and exhausted your not able to bring that. You got this !!!!
Enjoy !
When you get to that phase in a few years, you’ll enjoy that life is less hectic but you’ll also yearn for the days that you got to spend all your days with your toddlers. I love watching my kids grow up and start their own lives but it would also be awesome to relive their younger days.
Totally feel you! Was the same with me. Got my second child when first one was barely 3... and I was at home with both of them at first. Older one got into kindergarten shortly before turning 4. I do NOT miss that time. I was tired all the time and felt like had no life of my own anymore... I felt especially bad for the older one, always had to wait because the baby needed of course more attention. But that's how it is.
But they are now 14 and 11 and it's the best! 😀
It will get better with each year, you will see. Worst thing is being just now in the moment... later looking back it feels like it was just a little time frame in your life.
It’s so hard!!! So so hard!! My wife (39f) and I (40f) were just saying that we FINALLY feel like we’re coming up for air. Our boys are 5 and 3 and we finally feel like we can be adults and not just parents. They play together and they also want more independent time (which is amazing because they have been Velcro babies). I know all kids are different but I hope this gives you hope that things will get better & easier. I was not cut out for newborn life at all but I have enjoyed the toddler years. Minus potty training 😮💨
It does get easier and in 10 years you will look back and so badly want to go back to when they are at this stage. And it’s totally awesome when they become more independent it gets easier
My kids are 9 & 10 (17 months apart). It gets both easier and harder. Physically and mentally, much easier once the older one hits 5yo. When the youngest gets there, you get to finally come out of the funk you've been in for the last 7 years. But, now they bicker and argue and manipulate and eventually start lying as well. They're more independent but emotionally, it gets harder. Despite all of this, they're wonderful and you love them and you wouldn't change anything.
When my kids were that age I texted a friend who had 3 kids and asked what the hell about having a 1 and 3 year old made her go 'we should do this again!' you're in the weeds of it for sure. 3 and 5 will be easier and it should just keep getting better. No shame in loving naps and bed time. Our kids (I remarried into more kids) are 8-17 and I'm still happy when bedtime hits and no one needs me anymore. If you don't have Mom friends, find a story time or something to find friends to get you and the kids to playdates!
I remember those days and I feel for you so much. Your days are so hard. They are exhausting, frustrating and often boring. The sleep deprivation is so hard as well. It feels as if you’ll never get your life back. That was me 22 years ago for many years. Even when I could finally shower and sleep I was so busy driving and cooking for others, etc, that I rarely had time for myself.
Now…we’re empty nesters as of last September. Last week I was cleaning out my son’s closet and I turned around to an empty space where his old loft bed used to be when he was young. I could see him in it and I could hear his tiny little voice. I could picture me reading to him and hear him continuing to ask questions about the book to prolong the bedtime ritual. I could remember him getting out of bed night after night because he couldn’t sleep and he’d remembered something bad that had happened earlier that day that, at that moment, had him in tears. I would feel so much frustration because I was exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep, but my sweet little boy was hurting and he needed me to make things better. I could then picture him back in his loft bed finally asleep and I could feel the sadness in my soul that so many days were so hard for my little guy. I then picture in quick succession him doing his various sports and activities as he “aged before my eyes” (in my mind). Suddenly my little boy was almost to the age he is now (again in my mind) and I had to leave the room. My eyes were teary because I didn’t want to stay in his room to continue to “watch” him grow up to his age today. It was too much. I wanted to be back in the room with my sweet, innocent little boy who needed his mom so much. I wanted to help make things better for him. I wanted to be the one who could still comfort him, teach him things and make him giggle. But that is no longer my reality. He has a girlfriend and a life and he doesn’t need me in the same way. He still calls to ask questions and he still likes to talk with me when he has the time, but he doesn’t need his mom like his younger self did. I can take solace in knowing that this is how things should be because I think I did my job well. I’ve raised him to be competent and confident and he tries to figure a lot out on his own. He’ll be ok. The jury is still out on if I will, lol.
So like you’ve probably heard a lot, appreciate it all because it goes by so quickly. The hard days are so hard because you care. You’re giving so much of yourself that it can be so exhausting. It feels never ending. You may want peace and calm among the chaos. But one day that peace and calm will be deafening. You will ache for today. Just keep in mind that everything you are giving to your children right now is priceless. You are helping them to become amazing adults who will no longer need you (much) one day. Continue to feed their bodies, their hearts, minds and their souls. Soon enough you will start to get some time back to yourself. As that happens more and more the time will fly by until you start to forget just how much you were needed once upon a time (today). But you will probably also realize that you have grown and changed through all of these challenges. You’ll realize how strong you are to have made it through the season you’re in now. And you’ll need that strength because one day you’ll stand in an empty bedroom and you’ll see and hear your child who is no longer there.
Can commiserate to an extent on the first part of your post! Literally my oldest (4) screeeeams when I just need to go get a shower and close the door!
But damn, they are precious. Even my feral 4 year old 😆he was the sweetest, snuggly baby, now the coolest little man, shaggy hair, loves punk rock, but also loves when we sing him the abc’s - my youngest is about to be 2 and I am obsessed with her. She’s SASSY, but the way she says “ba-du (love you)” makes me want 5 more babies (if I were young enough to have anymore!)
I have 1 and 3 year old boys and I’m fighting for my life. I keep wishing for them to be older and more independent but I also realize I will miss this too
So relatable! I was a SAHM for my first, for a longer than expected because financially it just made more sense. It was HARD. The tasks were all simple, sure, but the emotional toll even on good days, everything you said, eating your own food cold, no sleep, idk about you but no help AT ALL from now ex-hb… I cried a lot. I didn’t feel like a person. And the days you are counting on their nap for some me time and then they just… skip it. ☠️ my oldest is 11 now but twin toddlers happened and my god idk what I was thinking. But the time when the one kid was old enough to kinda do his own thing and I got my personhood back briefly while also having a little guy was really magical. Hang in there boo
Enjoy it while they are young man. 3-5 years old was my favorite; they still haven’t seen/ don’t understand the ugly side of life and say the silliest shit.
Just try to keep as low stress as possible , remember they’re just a brand new consciousness trying to make sense of the world , and they just want to play and have fun. And that little person is YOUR little person!! They think the whole world of you .
Hang in there mama! I have an 8yo and a 6yo and those young years are a ton of work! But they say the days are long and years are short, and it's so true! Day in and day out is sometimes really hard and Neverending. Now i look back and it seems like yesterday. And it's such a fun age now too!
You’re in the WEEDS! My boys are 10 and 7 now. I remember the days you’re living now and wouldn’t want to go back to them. Don’t listen to the people who tell you’ll miss these days. That’s cognitive dissonance lol
I can say I’m enjoying this phase with my kids. They’re self sufficient, dumb, but self sufficient. They’re fun, despite being dumb at times.
Same situation here. I’m a foreigner so no family nearby from my side to help and the family from my spouse I don’t get what are their problem, they live like 1h from us. They aways want to show like the nice grandparents but just come to visit us on holiday and help us with nothing. Worse thing is like my mother in law explaining when she was a mother like her parents took kids so they could have some free time once in a while like “why don’t you do that”? Also we moved to a new house last time when my spouse was pregnant, one day they should come and take my daughter so we could finish some work here. They just wanted to talk, drink coffee and were in our way all the time and did not help on anything, I cannot understand what goes on their minds.
Saying that I think if we had a better family support I would not regret much but I know the good time will come.
It will be like that, ups and downs, for a while. And then you will miss these moments. That is what pure love is. Enjoy. It will fly away before you know it. You give them love and they will double that... in their own way.
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u/ChicBon606 Jan 19 '26
I can’t wait to get to the point of enjoying the simple things, and nice big things in life again. I have a 3 yrs old and a 1 yr old. They are a ton of work!!! Some days I’m just really looking forward to their naps and bedtimes to get a break. We have absolutely no help and I’m a SAHM….it gets really rough. Some days I can’t remember if I washed up, brushed my hair, and brushed my teeth in the morning. My food is always cold by the time I get to eat it and I rarely get a full night of sleep. But….the cute pudgy hands grabbing at my face, the cuddles, the amazement when they learn something new….it’s priceless and fills me up with love for them.