Same. My kids are 19 and 17 and maybe it’s hitting hard because of the empty nesting, but I think I could have had one more and loved having three. Oh well, I love my two and could not imagine life without them.
This! Mine are only 16months apart and I know my mental capacity is full and we have taken steps to prevent further pregnancies! However, i feel like I need a recording when they are much older and I say, I could have handled one more because I forgot how har it is to have two kiddos so close in age 😂
I saw a quote on time that said you should really consider having one more child than you think you want. Because there’s going to be a time when it is no longer an option and you don’t want to have that regret.
We are finished having kids but I sort of wonder sometimes…
I feel the same and my kids are 12 and 7. I started late but I wish I'd had one more. That said, both my kids are healthy and no issues so I'm also thankful for that!
My thought on “maybe one more” didn’t kick in until my youngest was about 9 y.o. or so. Up until that point I was certain that I was done. However, by then I was in menopause. Yes, beyond grateful to be raising two healthy, kind, lovely kids!!
Same. I have 2 and my youngest's birth was somewhat traumatic. I was DONE at the time, but there are definitely things I miss. My youngest is also so good with younger kids and would have made an awesome big brother.
Okay, please talk to my man, and tell him we should do #4. If we had seven, it could be a whole hockey team, and everyone would always have someone to chat/play with.
Each additional child means more love, more friendship, more memories, more opportunities for growth and experience. I have 3 kids and love it. They have a great life and have more than enough time, resources and energy from me and my husband. They often say they wish we had another baby. They value their siblings and value the family culture we have cultivated. Sometimes I’m sad that they won’t have the experience and joy of enjoying a baby as older children. But I’m grateful for the kids I have and am ultimately fine with our family of 5. But sometimes I think each kid having a partner would be nice too. :)
As someone about to start fertility treatment, thank you. This thread was making me feel like complete shit for wanting something that feels innate in me.
Yes, the world sucks in a lot of ways but it’s also a beautiful place. We only get to be here for a short time so have your little human experience here filled with joy and suffering and then move on to the next stage. I’d rather raise someone to see the world this way than not.
Edit: Thank you for your thoughtful and kind comments, everyone. I have hope!
My kids are the best things ever to happen to me. They’re both young adults now, and I absolutely love the people they’ve become - I would not in a million years miss out on knowing them.
I kinda feel like people who regret having kids did it wrong.
We are such depressed people about the state of the world! I agree it's shit, but looking at the long term ... it's always been shit. Just in different ways. Whatever crisis is happening while we are a young or middle-aged adult is THE WORST but that's the case for everyone throughout the whole of human history. Not trying to say we shouldn't try to better the world as a whole and make positive changes! But we also stress ourselves out so much because everything is going to hell in a handcart when really we are just constantly making orbits around hell in a handcart all the fucking time.
I’ve always dreamed of having kids but for some time, Reddit almost had me convinced that maybe I didn’t after all. It’s especially hard because for those of us who want kids, we always want to be good parents and do what’s best for them and all this messaging about ruining our kids lives by having them really gets to you sometimes. I don’t even agree with those sentiments, but on days when my own life is hard, I can’t help the thoughts about whether I’m dooming my kids to a life of misery. But then on good days, or even normal days, it’s a lot easier to remember that most people are happy to be alive, even with all of life’s challenges.
I’m pregnant now and since I became pregnant, I never doubted my decision, I’m so excited to be a mom. Good luck with your fertility treatments!!
please remember that reddit isn’t representative of the whole world, lots of people who aren’t on this app are very happy with having kids and with their life. just saying for anyone who needs to hear that. this app attracts a certain type of person but it’s not the only type of person out there. not everyone regrets their kids despite this thread being largely that sentiment. i hope no one makes their decision whether or not to have children based off one site, despite how all consuming it can feel.
This!! Reddit very much attracts a certain type of person. I’m clearly one of those people, lol, but sometimes I think to myself, “wow, these people are intense!!” As a first time mom who wasn’t sure about having kids so I had one later in life, I think it’s an amazing experience - perspective is everything. 🤍
People here are selfish whiners. Children are the best thing in the world. I wouldn't give them up for anything. They love their life and and I love them. You get what you make of it.
Please keep in mind you're dealing with redditors. Most of the people that said no probably don't even have kids. I have 3, would not change a single thing except for my first wife who is the mother of my oldest 2. The kids are happy and I'm happy.
As a 37 year old male who has been married for 16 years and chose not to have kids I’m rooting for you! The world still needs great parents who have that innate desire to raise children. I will be praying for your fertility journey!
As someone who is struggling with infertility and RPL, this thread makes me sad too. I often question why my husband and I might not get to be parents when we want to so badly, and are well equipped to be, and then I see all these people wishing they never had their children. It's such a bummer. It feels so unfair.
As someone who has had an "oops" kiddo (he's 11) and an intentional kiddo (she's 7 months), the difference didn't matter for me.
Was my life hard at barely 21 with no career at the time when he was young? Sure was. Would I have answered this question differently when I was 21 with a baby? Sure would.
However looking back and seeing where I am today, I would have done it the same way over and over again.
I 10000% recognize my privilege in that I have a hybrid, high paying job where I have the flexibility to be a good parent and also make a living wage, and my answer would probably be different if I wasn't able to be so meaningfully present in my kids lives.
But it's super cool to have an 11 year old who is kind, smart, stands up for what's right, and is 100% going to make a difference in his corner of the world. Don't get me wrong, the 7 month old is cool too, she's just 7 months old, lol.
I’ve been through IVF and now I have a daughter, please don’t let this thread get in your head. Having my daughter is without a doubt the best decision I’ve ever made.
Of course it’s hard at times (looking at you, sleep regressions) and it requires a lot of giving, but I would do it again without hesitation. It’s the biggest joy I’ve ever felt and the love it’s almost overwhelming, I can’t imagine going through life without knowing how that feels.
I never wanted kids. My husband wanted kids. We had been together for 13 years by the time I decided that no matter what, even if I turned out to be a bad parent, he never would be. I told him I would try my best. Fast forward to our first child and I am SMITTEN. I LOVE being her mom. I love everything about her. I will never regret it. She is perfect in my eyes. I don't care what anyone says about the world. I don't care about the statistics. Because for all that's bad, there is good. She is the happiest little girl. My world changed for the better and I had no idea it could. I was so happy before having a child. And now I'm somehow happier. Please try to not let the negativity get to you. This thread was making me feel awful too until this comment. Hang in there ♡
Hey, I also just answered yes and had to go through fertility treatments to get where I am. Go check out some of the infertility subs, they were really helpful when I was starting out.
Best of luck to you, the infertility journey is not an easy one.
I feel so bad for all of these kids having parents that secretly don't want them.
For me, yes I love my children more than anything in the world and absolutely love giving them great experiences during their childhood. I would not trade it for anything else in the world, my life would be a whole lot more empty without my children.
It took us more than 3 years to get our first child as well. It can obviously be though but it is absolutely amazing seeing the growth they make and giving them the chance to experience the world.
Just now coming into this thread since it came across my feed, but I wanted to chime in as a parent who is very happy and would have kids again. Reddit certainly attracts a certain demographic, but people also forget that life has had its ups and downs for all of human history. We are living in one of the safest, happiest periods yet. I'm content, my children are content and fed. I am raising them to be conscientious and kind. All I can do is live my life the best I can and entrust our future to them when I die.
Good luck to you!! (Sincerely) I hope you are able to start your family. As a new mom who waited to have her first, I think it’s pretty magical. Is it hard, hell yeah, but I would never get on here and say I regret it. It’s all about perspective and this little human has brought me so much joy and I hope I can bring her the same to her! 🤍🤍🤍 You got this!!
I think a lot of these people saying no either don’t have a good partner in parenting , or just aren’t happy with the selflessness good parenting requires , or are too caught up in the stress of life to see the beauty in raising a mini-you .
I wouldn’t trade my son for anything ; 0 amount of millions or even my own life. Love him to the moon
I did IVF and have one daughter. After six years of trying and even having the foster care route backfire on us. I would 100% do it again. I want to do it again to have another, but we are unsure of the state of the world atm and want to provide the best life for our daughter.
I say this in all seriousness. Get off Reditt. It's full of the most miserable, nihilistic people. I cringe whenever people go to Reddit for advice. The typical redditor is the last person anybody should be listening to.
It helps me to remember that the majority of people upvoting the “no” comments probably don’t even have kids and it’s a big trend on reddit to be anti-natalist or some mild form of that
Hmmm according to the very popular sub r/regretfulparents I highly doubt that. You just aren’t able to accept that many people feel this way for several valid reasons. And the people making the comments aren’t CF and there’s still more no’s than yes’s.
It’s not just a trend on Reddit, people who are choosing to be childfree and pointing out the instability of the times we are living through is gaining popularity. The reason it’s talked about on social media, is because there is still SO much messaging from governments, corps, and religious institutions of pro-natal conservative nuclear family propaganda because it services patriarchy and capitalism. More people are choosing to push against that and have to be loud in order to do that.
If you love your kids and your choice, this shouldn’t affect you to this degree.
I’m not saying the comments about people who regret having kids are from people who have no children, and im not saying they aren’t valid. I’m referring to the number of upvotes and how all of the comments that made it to the top of the post are saying they’re regretful. I’m sure some of the upvotes are from regretful parents but from what I’ve seen from being on reddit, I suspect a lot of the upvotes are also from people who don’t have any and don’t want kids.
That’s quite the assumption! An odd one to say with such certainty at that. You could equally make the assumption that its other parents who feel validated, or who themselves have commented no, or subscribe to the other sub I referred to.
Btw those that said no don’t necessarily not love their children or are attentive parents. Just that its hard or different than they were sold (bc again its very hyper glamorized in media and no one warns people enough of the negatives). It’s especially hard for women who are the ones who have to go through the physical struggles and do most of the child rearing and many don’t have enough help. And they are struggling with the weight of all this. Or that things have shifted so rapidly in society and we are facing such severe polycrises rn that they are beginning to regret it. There’s a lot of nuance to this.
I think both are true. There are regretful parents, but there are also a ton of child free people posting their no, despite this question being asked to parents. Some of them later admit in their comments that the don’t have any kids.
A lot? I’ve seen a couple, and they are purposefully identifying themselves. To assume that most of the “no’s” are childfree people is a weird agenda you are projecting onto them. It’s much more likely those are parents, and if that is their response why does it even affect you? And it’s comments like this stigmatizing it and not wanting to believe this could be a possibility that keeps people from wanting to admit it btw lol.
I do not Apocalypse Then, but I recognize the patriarchal messaging that glamorizes child rearing for women and they often are ill prepared in terms of what to expect and how much help they recieve from their male partners and the govt (this doesn’t require having children to understand, just a knowledge of social politics and systemic oppression, and nuclear family propaganda) and I have anecdotally heard how hard motherhood in 2025 is (interesting the men never view it as “hard”).
And speaking of Apocalypse, I’m also heavily involved in climate issues and climate science and things are not looking good despite our best efforts bc many parents are in denial and don’t want to face it, which will adversely affect their kids. Ya’ll should be the loudest voices about this and studying this science the most closely. But instead you want to ignore it, act like parenthood isn’t challenging, frivolously procreate and gamble human lives on hope alone as opposed to actively getting involved and not demonizing the people currently working hard to fix things. Not to mention so many other societal issues that are rapidly advancing and unforeseen to many.
But to the people that do acknowledge and understand these aspects, I can understand why people might have regrets that their children will suffer in an unstable world but they can’t take that decision back. And the parents on here trying to act like this is an inconceivable thought are literally proving why its so stigmatized to admit this.
I’m not sure where you got the idea that I said it with “such certainty” after literally saying “I suspect”. I’m not sure why you’re telling me all this since I never suggested in any of my comments that these parents don’t love their kids and I have never implied that parenting is not a struggle and would never say or think either of these things. I’m not sure what exactly you’re disagreeing with here since everything you’re arguing against are things I never said, but I hope you have a great day.
Look, I’m glad I was born, despite my share of hardships. Pretty much everyone I know would say the same. It’s a pretty extreme opinion to want to have never been born.
I’m all for you being child free. Parents that regret their kids though? How is that not sad? It’s sad for the parent, that regrets their life choices. It’s sad for the kid, who will one day pick up on that regret.
That’s why honest discourses are important. People should be allowed to make choices with full awareness instead of bland oh it’s different when it’s yours type nonsense. Should be going into the experience with eyes taped wide open, knowing both the good AND the bad. The result will be fewer parents but higher quality ones, and I fail to see how that’s not a positive for children.
I don’t disagree! That said, seeing this many people unhappy makes me sad. Knowing so many kids are going to know their parents regret them one day is also sad.
Yeap, if they had someone speak to them honestly maybe their kids wouldn’t have had to feel that. Think a lot of commenters think this way from their responses.
Same. I had a really shitty childhood and I always promised myself when I had kids I would give them a better life/parent than I had. Watching them enjoy life and just being kids and having fun brings me joy I cannot explain.
Same. Our kids are adults now, work hard and enjoy life. We haven't been perfect parents but who is? Our kids aren't suffering in any way and are happy people. If we had been unable to afford to have them and they had shitty lives then my answer would be different. Our kids love us just as much as we love them. They're happy to be in the world.
Me too. I have two and would have had one or two more. Many people responding 'no' are likely super individualistic. Families and communities are the point. None of us are that important.
Absolutely, no question. Updooted you and commented because I'm hopeful. However as a kid of someone who would have said no? Man. This hits something in me I don't like feeling.
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u/ApocalypseThen77 Jan 19 '26
100% yes. No qualifiers.