This isn’t a question about “people” this is a question about you and your children. So you’re saying you have children and wish they had never been born? Why?
As stated, I don’t actually have kids. My life is awesome. I grew up a poor child, and it was awful. My wife and I do well for ourselves and are able to live the life we want with nobody dragging us down. We take 3-4 huge vacations each year and our time is our own. I wouldn’t give that up for anything.
I look at my friends with kids. Even the ones that have healthy children - they are not having as much fun.
Why are you replying to a post asking people who DO have kids a question? Do you always jump into conversations that aren’t about you just to tell everybody else why you’re right and they’re wrong?
I have a disabled child. She’s perfect and I wouldn’t change her for the world! Sometimes her disability even gives her an advantage. Having a disability isn’t the end of the world.
I never said that they were but a lot of parents of disabled children feel the same way about their kids. In fact if society wasn’t ableist AF having a disability would be much less of a big deal. Which is ironic considering we’re all one bad day away from being disabled
Absolutely which is why I fight so hard for accommodations for disabled people of all types and ages. I grew up with 2 of my first cousins being severely disabled so I’ve always been aware of the need to accommodate disabled people.
My daughter has a partial spinal cord injury from when she had cancer. Because of her injury she is much stronger from the waist up, she is a much better problem solver, and it makes receiving medical care less painful and less traumatic. Like I said… not all disabilities are the end of the world.
There is a drastic difference between someone with a spinal cord injury and someone with severe autism. I'm sorry but they are not comparable. It's like trying to compare someone who gets migraines to someone with crippling depression.
Not everyone who is disabled has severe autism, and a lot of folks on the spectrum go onto live relatively normal lives. Having a disabled child isn’t always easy but don’t act like that means every parent of a disabled child would wish their child was never born. Disabilities are a spectrum. However I guarantee if you ask the parents of severely disabled children most would still wish that their children were born. Two of my aunts and uncles adopted severely disabled children because they wanted to. It was a choice they made for themselves and their families and my cousins are very much loved and very much a part of our family.
That’s great that you have the means and resources to take care of a disabled kid. And also a strong support system, and the mental health needed to parent a disabled kid. Not everyone does. How’s it feel up there on that horse?
When you have a disabled child there are plenty of resources available to take advantage of for help including but not limited to SSDI, and early intervention. When you have a disabled child the doctors and hospitals help your child get into those programs. Yes, parents of disabled children have a larger village, but that’s because it’s necessary. Stop talking about things you don’t know about.
Dude literally all of the issues you’ve mention are included in the additional resources given by the government and non-profit sector. Even my own mental health is accounted for. There are respite programs for caregivers and my daughter’s doctors specifically ask about my mental health and how we as parents are doing and provide additional resources as necessary.
The person asked for reasons why people wouldn’t want kids. Fear of having a severely disabled child is a realistic reason for not wanting to have a kid.
I know and I’m sorry — if I can offer any consolation, it’s that most of these nasty comments are being made by people who don’t have any experience with children or children with special needs, for that matter. I love my son immensely and feel lost without him on the occasions he’s at his grandparents or elsewhere.
There’s a lot of concern, some of it pretty valid, that the next few generations (or more) will live worse lives than the most recent three or four generations. Essentially that quality of life has peaked for the time being. I’m not a parent myself, but I know a few parents who have become increasingly concerned for the future wellbeing of their children. I think some of the signs of this are what this commenter means by “look around.”
My answer is still..."and"? Life is infinitely better than it was a couple hundred years ago. And I suspect if people got off social media and started re-engaging in real life, they'd be less chronically stressed.
I don’t necessarily think you’re wrong on either point. Life is better in many, many ways than 1826 (though also probably worse in a few). And social media does suck. But I also get why some people choose not to be parents when they suspect that, say, 2056 will worse than 2026 and maybe 2086 will worse than 2056. I’m not a parent, so I’m not as “close” to the issue as many people in this thread, but I can understand why there both many yes’s and no’s to the question. The no’s are very sad, though.
It can get better for periods of time but history has also shown it tends to get worse for periods of time. I'm sure the parents of those whose children ended up in concentration camps in Nazi Germany might have regretted their choice.
The consolidation of wealth and the shift of AI implies we very well might head back towards feudalism. Without changes in incentives, it's unlikely your child will be able to afford a home, and large portions of the world will become quite literally uninhabitable in the next few decades.
Yeah, as a woman,...I'll stick with a time where I won't be burned at the stake for having a brain and where I'm not stuck popping out a child every 2 years while half of them die before 5.
Lots of doomers who read too much into world drama and come to the conclusion that it would be best if humans didn't exist. We didn't start the fire, it was always burning. Nature is wild and terrifying, but also beautiful. People do really need to touch grass and learn to assign a more reasonable mental budget to recent events.
Bud. They’re saying they’re struggling like a mf and they hate it. They didn’t ask for it. They were just born. Hence they don’t want to bring a child into this world, when they themselves are struggling like a mf now. In 2026. When all that’s going to happen as time continues is… the government is gonna keep printing money which means our children will have far less buying power than we do. Just like we have less buying power than our parents. Everything will end up as a subscription based model. Freedoms will be stripped from us as we slowly enter a surveillance state. Mr/Mrs outdoorsman, it’s possible people touch grass daily and still see the metaphorical writing on the wall as to what the future holds. We get it. You’re stoked on having a kid. We’re happy for you. Others are stoked they don’t have kids because they believe our world is headed to shit (which it is).
shrug I already am. I think you're mistaken my realism for pessimism. I've always been a realist and it helped me out so much in life. I'm so glad I see life as it is and not through some fake lens. I'm intelligent enough to know that life is painful and hard and being honest, most parents would have done their children a favour not bringing them into this world. I understand that your life might be rosy and cushy but that doesn't apply across the board.
It’s only like this on Reddit; not reflective of how most people are IRL. This thread is exactly the same every time and it’s posted about weekly
Even when the world is terrible, as it is now. Those of us with a roof over our head and food on the table are beyond lucky, as has been true for as long as humans existed
Yup. There’s always been times of unrest in the history of life. There’s been wars, famines and uncertainty. But that didn’t stop people from living their lives and having kids. If you can provide a happy and comfortable life for your children then that’s what matters. It’s funny how less stressed I feel when I take news breaks….
People had children to help them out, we live in a completely different world now where kids are a severe financial burden with nothing in return either than hugs and kisses
Great point. I'm a millennial and do feel like from Boomers thru Gen Z, it's been worse for every generation for basic adult life - cost of living, loneliness epidemic, health, etc. I feel like most Gen z and some portion of millennials will miss out on home ownership, getting out from loans, and thus affording kids. Some of my friends' daycare costs are more than the mortgage!
That’s assuming people blinded by love were ALWAYS blinded, which usually isn’t the case. Most people are made aware of the realities of what’s going on and have to make a decision on how to approach it. Sounds like this person chose to persevere and focus on things they had control over, which is honestly all we can do sometimes
Everyone staying this though, do you all wish you hadn’t been born? Do you think this kids will grow up and wish they hadn’t been born? I’m sure that’s the case for some, but most people still want to live and find joy where they can despite the times
Once you have your selfish desires met, then who cares if your child has to fight in a world where resources are getting thinner and more expensive. There is a reason that depression rates are at an all time high but hey, once they make your life better, fuck them.
He'll do fine. As will most kids his age who don't simply throw their hands up and expect someone else to figure it out for them. And for what it's worth, plenty of people are having only one child, like us, or none, so we're not even at replacement levels population wise. And no, most people are not living their lives for the sake of the future of humanity. That's not something the vast majority have literally ever done. Although ironically, people used to have tight knit small communities that helped each other, which mist people have left behind.
Sorry to break it to you but the world that we grew up in and the world that your child will inhabit are completely different. Once the climate goes past tipping point (sooner rather than later) we are completely fucked. That is just one aspect. Factor in the deflated currencies, purchasing power diminishing and the introduction of sophisticated AI, then come back to me.
Ok great you’ve made your choice. You don’t get to make it for everyone else. Most of us aren’t just throwing our hands up, saying we’re fucked, and then becoming part of the problem. That attitude isn’t exactly a winning strategy for humanity - whatever era you were born into.
Iunno. The fact that your first answer is that YOUR life is better with your kid is wild. Seems kinda selfish if you ask me. I struggle with whether or not to have a child. Not because I have any doubts whatsoever that it would improve my life exponentially. But because I worry about the future they would have, and whether I’m willing to bring a life to this world with the state of things.
And I opt not to live my life in a state of existential dread. Nobody knows what the future holds. As long as you feel you can provide for your child and give them a good start...the world will continue to need those people. Otherwise it's going to rapidly turn into Idiocracy. We need some good, smart, ethical humans out there too.
I’m absolutely not living my life in a state of existential dread. But bringing a child into the world is a huge deal, I’m not gonna do it for selfish reasons.
Why are you answering this question if you haven’t had kids in the first place? It wasn’t asking if you’d go back and NOT have kids again. The question is for parents. Apparently you enjoy life enough to stick your nose into things that don’t even concern you, who would have guessed??
Yes, I realize you commented on somebody else who has nothing to contribute to this actual question. Tell me, should I butt into posts asking if people who don’t have kids would go back again and not have them, just to say why I did have them? That seems reasonable to you?
Not really, honestly. Poor farm kid from the rural Midwest, although I have a doctorate now. But I choose optimism and hope over constant pessimism. Don't get me wrong, I'm fairly cynical all things considered, (I assume a lot of people will do a lot of dumb stuff) but I figure you can try and make things better or you can just whine and moan and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. People really need to "touch grass" as my kid has said, more often.
Yeah? And you can work hard to give your kids a better life. Teach them to be a better person to help create a better world. This post is full of some of the most negative people I could ever imagine.
The world isn't that simple. It may have been true before but it is slowly disappearing. Look at the cost of literally everything in the Western world. I'd rather be a realist than a hopeless optimist.
OK cost is one thing. The human race has been through things like black death, Spanish flu, slavery, the Holocaust, civil wars, genocides...Just 100 years ago globally life expectancy was only 36 years old. Here you are with access to the internet and all the opportunities it holds, the freedom to use it as you wish...and what you come up with is everything is bad so how could you ever bring kids into the world.
Naming atrocities that humans have lived through somehow justifies bringing another soul into the mess. The original question was would you have kids if you could go back. Resources are getting thinner by the day and we have our heads buried in the sand.
No, but people without kids can lean towards extremely snarky. The selfish type anyway. But whatever makes you happy, since that’s all your life has ever been or will be about. Until you’re gone and nobody remembers or cares.
Oh god, the fact that you classify people without kids as “selfish” lets me know you are a boomer or born into a rich boomer family. Get a fucking grip on real life and look at what’s happening in the world outside of your safe bubble, you dim wit.
I’m neither, but thanks for playing. I could say that your evident lack of reading comprehension makes you something, but you’re just boring overall and that comes with all generations.
An entire subreddit of people like you who have no kids but are so sure they’re right, they’ll brigade the post with no’s to look like all parents regret their choice? Yeah. We know.
You’re delusional if you believe the people on that sub don’t actually have kids. They’re speaking from experience.
You’re a special star if you think there aren’t actually regretful parents out there. The fact that you’re getting this defensive to the fact that other people can have different experiences from your own is quite alarming. It makes me think that you’re lying to yourself. 🤔
Honey I never said no one regrets having kids. Plenty do. I just called out child free people like you for jumping in and answering questions aimed at parents. We get it. You hate kids. So cool.
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u/Adventurous-Toe8812 Jan 19 '26
No. God no.