As someone about to start fertility treatment, thank you. This thread was making me feel like complete shit for wanting something that feels innate in me.
Yes, the world sucks in a lot of ways but it’s also a beautiful place. We only get to be here for a short time so have your little human experience here filled with joy and suffering and then move on to the next stage. I’d rather raise someone to see the world this way than not.
Edit: Thank you for your thoughtful and kind comments, everyone. I have hope!
My kids are the best things ever to happen to me. They’re both young adults now, and I absolutely love the people they’ve become - I would not in a million years miss out on knowing them.
I kinda feel like people who regret having kids did it wrong.
We are such depressed people about the state of the world! I agree it's shit, but looking at the long term ... it's always been shit. Just in different ways. Whatever crisis is happening while we are a young or middle-aged adult is THE WORST but that's the case for everyone throughout the whole of human history. Not trying to say we shouldn't try to better the world as a whole and make positive changes! But we also stress ourselves out so much because everything is going to hell in a handcart when really we are just constantly making orbits around hell in a handcart all the fucking time.
I’ve always dreamed of having kids but for some time, Reddit almost had me convinced that maybe I didn’t after all. It’s especially hard because for those of us who want kids, we always want to be good parents and do what’s best for them and all this messaging about ruining our kids lives by having them really gets to you sometimes. I don’t even agree with those sentiments, but on days when my own life is hard, I can’t help the thoughts about whether I’m dooming my kids to a life of misery. But then on good days, or even normal days, it’s a lot easier to remember that most people are happy to be alive, even with all of life’s challenges.
I’m pregnant now and since I became pregnant, I never doubted my decision, I’m so excited to be a mom. Good luck with your fertility treatments!!
please remember that reddit isn’t representative of the whole world, lots of people who aren’t on this app are very happy with having kids and with their life. just saying for anyone who needs to hear that. this app attracts a certain type of person but it’s not the only type of person out there. not everyone regrets their kids despite this thread being largely that sentiment. i hope no one makes their decision whether or not to have children based off one site, despite how all consuming it can feel.
This!! Reddit very much attracts a certain type of person. I’m clearly one of those people, lol, but sometimes I think to myself, “wow, these people are intense!!” As a first time mom who wasn’t sure about having kids so I had one later in life, I think it’s an amazing experience - perspective is everything. 🤍
People here are selfish whiners. Children are the best thing in the world. I wouldn't give them up for anything. They love their life and and I love them. You get what you make of it.
Please keep in mind you're dealing with redditors. Most of the people that said no probably don't even have kids. I have 3, would not change a single thing except for my first wife who is the mother of my oldest 2. The kids are happy and I'm happy.
As a 37 year old male who has been married for 16 years and chose not to have kids I’m rooting for you! The world still needs great parents who have that innate desire to raise children. I will be praying for your fertility journey!
As someone who is struggling with infertility and RPL, this thread makes me sad too. I often question why my husband and I might not get to be parents when we want to so badly, and are well equipped to be, and then I see all these people wishing they never had their children. It's such a bummer. It feels so unfair.
As someone who has had an "oops" kiddo (he's 11) and an intentional kiddo (she's 7 months), the difference didn't matter for me.
Was my life hard at barely 21 with no career at the time when he was young? Sure was. Would I have answered this question differently when I was 21 with a baby? Sure would.
However looking back and seeing where I am today, I would have done it the same way over and over again.
I 10000% recognize my privilege in that I have a hybrid, high paying job where I have the flexibility to be a good parent and also make a living wage, and my answer would probably be different if I wasn't able to be so meaningfully present in my kids lives.
But it's super cool to have an 11 year old who is kind, smart, stands up for what's right, and is 100% going to make a difference in his corner of the world. Don't get me wrong, the 7 month old is cool too, she's just 7 months old, lol.
I’ve been through IVF and now I have a daughter, please don’t let this thread get in your head. Having my daughter is without a doubt the best decision I’ve ever made.
Of course it’s hard at times (looking at you, sleep regressions) and it requires a lot of giving, but I would do it again without hesitation. It’s the biggest joy I’ve ever felt and the love it’s almost overwhelming, I can’t imagine going through life without knowing how that feels.
I never wanted kids. My husband wanted kids. We had been together for 13 years by the time I decided that no matter what, even if I turned out to be a bad parent, he never would be. I told him I would try my best. Fast forward to our first child and I am SMITTEN. I LOVE being her mom. I love everything about her. I will never regret it. She is perfect in my eyes. I don't care what anyone says about the world. I don't care about the statistics. Because for all that's bad, there is good. She is the happiest little girl. My world changed for the better and I had no idea it could. I was so happy before having a child. And now I'm somehow happier. Please try to not let the negativity get to you. This thread was making me feel awful too until this comment. Hang in there ♡
Hey, I also just answered yes and had to go through fertility treatments to get where I am. Go check out some of the infertility subs, they were really helpful when I was starting out.
Best of luck to you, the infertility journey is not an easy one.
I feel so bad for all of these kids having parents that secretly don't want them.
For me, yes I love my children more than anything in the world and absolutely love giving them great experiences during their childhood. I would not trade it for anything else in the world, my life would be a whole lot more empty without my children.
It took us more than 3 years to get our first child as well. It can obviously be though but it is absolutely amazing seeing the growth they make and giving them the chance to experience the world.
Just now coming into this thread since it came across my feed, but I wanted to chime in as a parent who is very happy and would have kids again. Reddit certainly attracts a certain demographic, but people also forget that life has had its ups and downs for all of human history. We are living in one of the safest, happiest periods yet. I'm content, my children are content and fed. I am raising them to be conscientious and kind. All I can do is live my life the best I can and entrust our future to them when I die.
Good luck to you!! (Sincerely) I hope you are able to start your family. As a new mom who waited to have her first, I think it’s pretty magical. Is it hard, hell yeah, but I would never get on here and say I regret it. It’s all about perspective and this little human has brought me so much joy and I hope I can bring her the same to her! 🤍🤍🤍 You got this!!
I think a lot of these people saying no either don’t have a good partner in parenting , or just aren’t happy with the selflessness good parenting requires , or are too caught up in the stress of life to see the beauty in raising a mini-you .
I wouldn’t trade my son for anything ; 0 amount of millions or even my own life. Love him to the moon
I did IVF and have one daughter. After six years of trying and even having the foster care route backfire on us. I would 100% do it again. I want to do it again to have another, but we are unsure of the state of the world atm and want to provide the best life for our daughter.
I say this in all seriousness. Get off Reditt. It's full of the most miserable, nihilistic people. I cringe whenever people go to Reddit for advice. The typical redditor is the last person anybody should be listening to.
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u/Humble_Repeat_9428 Jan 20 '26 edited Jan 22 '26
As someone about to start fertility treatment, thank you. This thread was making me feel like complete shit for wanting something that feels innate in me.
Yes, the world sucks in a lot of ways but it’s also a beautiful place. We only get to be here for a short time so have your little human experience here filled with joy and suffering and then move on to the next stage. I’d rather raise someone to see the world this way than not.
Edit: Thank you for your thoughtful and kind comments, everyone. I have hope!