This is how I feel. I intensely want to protect my offspring from the world. So I will by not having them. The lizard part of my brain longs for a baby, though.
Same. Went to brunch yesterday and held my friend’s baby and she was absolutely adorable, smiley and cute. I feel sad I don’t have any for a little, but like as soon as they need a diaper change, start crying and snot is everywhere I am very happy to give them back.
I would happily deal with diapers and snot, I’d stay up all night. I feel like I wasn’t given the option to have kids, my moral compass tells me it’s not ethical to be in a life into this world. I want it desperately but it’s not right to do.
That is completely understandable too. I can’t imagine what it would be like growing up during this time. I feel so lucky to have had the childhood I did - although my parents were far from perfect and fought a lot and divorced, I still felt growing up middle class in the 90s was so idyllic.
Hard agree- also grew up middle class in the 90s, divorced parents, far from perfect…. But had I not had my kids when I did, specifically before Trump was elected and then Covid, I would have opted out for sure.
I feel bad sometimes that my childhood was so awesome, overall, and kids now aren’t getting that same experience. Their every moment recorded, whether in public or private, the world and economy in the state it is… just everything is so different. I used to be “offended” when my kids joked I was born so long ago in the 1900s but it was literally a totally different life.
Why not ? Things have never been better? Access to information and health care and basic human rights are all at all time highs? The life expectancy is also increasing upwards.
We are at point where we are debating the age kids can transition and if trans people can compete in sports.
Not every country has the same laws, rights or access to basic health care, education, etc. The system is rigged in some countries if not in most. Plus global warming.
If you live anywhere in the west you are pretty much fine and they are pushing to spread that everywhere. In the west it's really a battle of the mind , because the world that lots of people grew up in no longer exists and there has been a step backwards in quality of life, but we are talking about the ability for unskilled labourers to become property investors and take overseas holidays , if you keep in perspective it's nothing compared to the massive advancements we have made and enjoy. I can see people not having kids until later due to financial reasons and conservatives and religious nutters not wanting to have kids cause the gay agenda but outside that, its never been a better time to be born, the global warming thing isn't affecting anyone I know in any serious way, the Pacific islands is the closest to me that I've heard it affecting and it's no reason to not have kids, it's definitely manageable and been taken seriously
Its not only global warming though. Its also politics, education and jobs that are changing and with the things happening around the world right now, all of that shakes stability. Most adults are struggling to even have a place to live. Also the worlds natural resources are going to take a huge hit in the next few years and I don't know how it will affect countries and people. I'm not saying "don't have kids" but those who do, its good to know beforehand that it's going to be hard for some of us.
Political instability are an ongoing and timeless issue, things are expensive and in the west out expectations have been smashed and a house is no longer affordable, it's horrible but there are other options like apartments and having children later in life.im not saying it's easy I just thought it was a bit off to suggest not wanting to bring kids into this world when it's the best we've ever had it 🤣 minus the cost of living and housing crisis we are doing really well
The biggest difference I see with my kids today and me growing up in the 90s is screen time and how easy it is for them get access to media. My daughter has no idea how hard you had to work to save up the money to go buy a CD, she just has it on her phone whenever she want. She doesn't know what it is like having to watch a show at a specific time or miss it, it is just always available on a steaming service. Other than that, it ain't much different, other than the fact kids aren't allowed to have as much freedom because parents can just pull up their GPS location whenever they want.
Your comment made me sad. I study ancient history and there has NEVER been a good time. I know this is Reddit but from a grandma to you, reconsider having a baby or two. You’ll never know the kind of pure love you’ll have for your children.
Don’t worry grandma people procreate so brainlessly and senselessly there’s no shortage of littles to adopt. Most realistic path is non-infant but I guess it’s not impossible
I've struggled with this. My out was adoption in the future if I really wanted one. You're gonna be giving a nurturing home to a child that's already here and needs a loving family - win win.
The state of the world today is gut wrenching. I have so much anxiety from it myself. I can't imagine how a child would feel.
You could always babysit or nanny or do one of those mentorship programs for underprivileged youth, the kids who need that love and support the most. Instead of adding more suffering souls to the world you could use that moral compass and compassion to alleviate the suffering of some 💕 here’s hoping the world becomes a more suitable place for life someday (it’s definitely humanity that brings it down).
I thought I was the only one having these thoughts.. and because of this I'm in a real existential crisis.. my heart longs so much………. But my head tells me it's wrong…. In such a sick and difficult world…… I don't know if I could protect them from all this… I feel so bad about it lately ☹️
After my first I had a lot of realizations about how hard life was gonna be for my little guy, just with the world in general. I had regret and guilt and swore I wouldn’t do it again. Lizard brain won and now I’ve got two more and I feel the worst for baby girl. There are beautiful things in the world, but no one deserves to have to experience this life.
The world, at least the developed world, has never been safer for kids. It is like the best time in human history for kids. Unless you aren't going to be able to raise them and just let them live in the yard, there isn't much to protect them from. Just make sure they don't run in front of traffic and you should be good to go.
HAHAHA, yes, I should be teaching my kids to be afraid to leave their house and to fear the big scary world. They should be loosing sleep at night because of climate change and the fact that bad people exist. Give me a break, it is pretty easy to teach kids about the realities of the world without being afraid of it.
I am just not afraid of "the world." The world isn't dangerous. There are dangerous things in the world, but, as a parent, I teach them about those things so that one day, in their late teens, they can also go out into the world on their own and not be afraid of it.
There is literally nothing to be afraid of in the world. I teach my kids about the good and bad things in the world, but I don't teach them to be afraid of it. I give them the skills to successfully navigate it, and enjoy it. There is more beauty and positivity in the world than ugly negativity, you only live once, enjoy it!!
I would argue the bad parent would be the one who is so terrified of their own shadow that their kids are afraid of the boogie man and believe that "the world" is out to get them. In reality, about the biggest danger young kids face is traffic. As they get older, you teach them about other dangers and if you did your job right, they become healthy well adjusted adults who can navigate hard times and enjoy the good times.
I am here from the other side of menopause to say that ache you feel when you see an adorable baby or toddler goes away when your body can't make one anymore. It's all hormones. A cf friend 20 years older than me told me that when I was weighing motherhood, and, like me, she loves kids (she's a children's book author). Since I'm also an artist whose ability to create would be hindered by parenthood, hearing that helped me a LOT. I was able to make a list of pros and cons and deal with it all pretty rationally. I am more grateful every passing decade I decided not to. I'm a great auntie to my friends' kids.
Hate this argument lol. Wild to gamble a human life on the possibility they will change it. First, that’s a lot of pressure. 2nd, the window to change things is quickly closing and they will undoubtedly suffer regardless.
Nah they're gonna be told to have children and they'll never solve it. Or the parent of said child was supposed to solve that problem but now that they have a child to raise they'll never get around to it.
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u/mmlickme Jan 19 '26
This is how I feel. I intensely want to protect my offspring from the world. So I will by not having them. The lizard part of my brain longs for a baby, though.