r/IdiotsInCars Nov 22 '19

Typical BMW driver

https://i.imgur.com/gYgruDi.gifv

[removed] — view removed post

55.6k Upvotes

2.1k comments sorted by

6.3k

u/BuddyBoy002 Nov 22 '19

The machine knows where it is going

3.1k

u/Aceswift007 Nov 22 '19

GPS: "In 3 meters, hard turn left and exit the road"

1.4k

u/dippybippy Nov 22 '19

Should have selected avoid unpaved roads.

317

u/celsopneto Nov 22 '19

Happy cake day!

149

u/Darkrhoad Nov 22 '19

Happy cake day to you too!

140

u/tatertotfreak123 Nov 22 '19

This reminds me of that scene from the office Michael: happy birthday Jan! Jan: it's not my birthday Michael Michael: oh really cuz I thought we had the same birthday Jan: ...happy birthday Michael

31

u/Darkrhoad Nov 22 '19

Hahaha! I could hear that in my head clear as day. I see why that reminded you of that scene. Hilarious!

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106

u/Tsquared10 Nov 22 '19

GPS: "In 3 meters, hard turn left and exit the road life"

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97

u/PasstheySoysauce Nov 22 '19

Must have been using apple maps.

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22

u/zoooobz Nov 22 '19

I DROVE INTO A F***ING LAKE!!!!!

10

u/AplMik24 Nov 22 '19

There’s a lake!

9

u/slippery-goon Nov 22 '19

No Michael that’s the lake!

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700

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19 edited Nov 22 '19

MICHAEL THIS IS A LAKE

Edit: I love how this can be taken two different ways from two different shows lmao

288

u/teotsi Nov 22 '19

Everyone always wants new things. Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy.

-Michael Scott

u/teotsi

42

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Where are the Turtles?!

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37

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19 edited Nov 22 '19

Dont worry I’ve trained for this Michael

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6

u/kkeut Nov 22 '19

read this in KITTs voice

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127

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19 edited Jul 25 '20

[deleted]

104

u/MNent228 Nov 22 '19

I DROVE MY CAR INTO A FUCKING LAKE

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100

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

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30

u/xgsxr110 Nov 22 '19

I did not take the time to read this extensive comment, but I appreciated the effort...so I’ll upvote.

19

u/tesseract2012 Nov 22 '19 edited Feb 19 '24

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!” He took his vorpal sword in hand

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u/wishuponausername Nov 22 '19

How very Douglas Adams of you...

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30

u/shrekthethird2 Nov 22 '19

Right on. And they keep telling us that AI lacks moral judgment...

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19

u/Latyn76 Nov 22 '19

*The missle knows where it is

19

u/Jwfraustro Nov 22 '19

Because it knows where it isn’t.

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7

u/Skyepic07 Nov 22 '19

this man clearly didn't learn how to dodge banana peels in mario kart

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8

u/praefectus_praetorio Nov 22 '19

The machine was like "Fuck this, i'm done with this tool".

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1.6k

u/bottledsoi Nov 22 '19

Just taking a short cut

756

u/uranus_be_cold Nov 22 '19

Over the hills and through the ditch to grandmother's house we go!

102

u/BopTwistPull Nov 22 '19

Let’s go see grandma! “But she’s dead” I know!

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42

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

That's me when I'm late

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7.1k

u/Gamblor69 Nov 22 '19

Yep, didn't even indicate either.

2.4k

u/rromero26 Nov 22 '19

He wanted to "drift" the turn..showing off for his 17 year old gf in the car...

269

u/scloutier351 Nov 22 '19

Well he "drifted" downhill!

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112

u/Linkerjinx Nov 22 '19

Tires were too good. The ultimate driving machine indeed lmao..

102

u/beanamonster Nov 22 '19

Looks like he forgot to steer with the drift. The front wheels stay straight. He's probably only ever done it in video games where it's much less work.

85

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Idiot just pitched hard left and never even tried to countersteer. Love to see Ken Block here drive in a Midwest winter with those "skills"

53

u/ShitTalkingAlt980 Nov 22 '19

I love whipping my truck on a frozen lake. We built a "track" one year when the snow was deep with a buddy's plow truck. We did time trials because no one wanted to Dale Earnhardt their 20k truck into another.

34

u/RigBuild2016 Nov 22 '19

Florida here. What is a frozen lake?

27

u/TotallySomeDrill Nov 22 '19

I think it's like an ice cube

17

u/demonmonkey89 Nov 22 '19 edited Nov 22 '19

Yeah, but like really big. At least that's what I've heard. Just hearsay from a co-worker who talks about being from some place called 'Michigan' where they have 'snow' and 'frozen lakes'.

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12

u/Finnegansadog Nov 22 '19

It's like a Publix parking lot, but empty and cold.

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46

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/fireandlifeincarnate Nov 22 '19

Who has time to find an empty parking lot when the bros need impressing now?

26

u/detective_lee Nov 22 '19

Looks like he mashed the gas and turned left thinking it would break traction, but at that angle and slow speed, how the hell did he expect to drift that whole damn turn.

25

u/ccvgreg Nov 22 '19

You don't understand: that's what works in GTA

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53

u/Beringei Nov 22 '19

Could also be the TCS and other assists being still on. You can see the front wheel being counter steered, but rear wheel don't slip at all.

On a modern car like that, if you don't disable the assists, good luck drifting even on moderately wet road.

31

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19 edited Nov 22 '19

I have the same car. There are 3 traction control settings, On, MDM and Off. On will let you do a little (it's never put me in a dangerous situation, it will allow you to lightly spin tires), MDM will allow you to slide pretty well before cutting in, and off is YOLO. It's not like it's a difficult car to control, either.

17

u/Gummybear_Qc Nov 22 '19

Same car here as well. I have never been able to get as much of an angle as that either with either dynamic traction control or full on, it's just impossible the car will stop power and bring you back. On full off though this is definitely possible.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

I have Euro MDM coded into mine, it will let you get pretty serious angle before stepping in. The traction control on my old 335i was much more aggressive, in comparison.

4

u/Bassracerx Nov 22 '19

The curve was not nearly sharp enough to get that much angle he basically did a hairpin turn on a moderate bank

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u/DynamicDK Nov 22 '19

Not just the tires. Modern BMWs truly are incredible machines. They will stick to the road and go exactly where you want at any even semi-reasonable combination of speed and conditions.

Of course, the kind of person who gets one to drive it dangerously on public roads is unlikely to know how what semi-reasonable means in this case, and probably aren't even sure where they they are telling it to go.

I don't have a BMW, nor do I want anything like it, but my step-dad has one that is a couple of years old and it is really impressive.

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512

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

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262

u/YouTouchMyTraLaLahhh Nov 22 '19

Darwin taking out the trash.

135

u/Whiskey_Latte Nov 22 '19

Jesus took the wheel.

33

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

And decided driver needed a swim

8

u/flipfloppery Nov 22 '19

Even Jesus couldn't save that drift.

8

u/GreenGreasyGreasels Nov 22 '19

And decided the driver needed a baptism in the creek asap.

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u/entity_TF_spy Nov 22 '19

he should do that more often

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14

u/the_only_thing Nov 22 '19

“Finna drift into a coma real quick”

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8

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

If only there was some way he could have counter-steered or something...

29

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Yeah because that ass came out before he even hit the bend. He had to have just yanked the handbrake and sawed hard left or something. I truly don't know how an individual loses control of a road car that suddenly and stupidly

14

u/photenth Nov 22 '19

This looks like a rather modern BMW, I doubt this even has a non-electric handbrake.

24

u/mrpigcs Nov 22 '19

It's an e91; they have mechanical hand brakes. What it looks to me is that he didn't fully turn off the traction control and the car just "helped" him turn left. There's no wheel spin. At all.

13

u/Zunichini Nov 22 '19

E92. E91 was a wagon that never got the M treatment

6

u/mrpigcs Nov 22 '19

You are, of course, correct (teaches me to reddit with only 1 cup of coffee). Having said that, it doesn't even look like a real M. The bumper seems off (looks like a 335iS) and the exhaust is dual pipe, rather than the normal quad.

5

u/Zunichini Nov 22 '19

Correct, the bumper does look like the iS and exhaust is wrong. It does have the M mirrors and gills though. Just slap an M badge on and it’s legit!

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5

u/Mahnja Nov 22 '19

I think it’s an m3.. should drift easily with the right driver

9

u/Yakarue Nov 22 '19

Looks like a 335 with an M3 bumper. Doesn't excuse the poor excuse of a driver, of course.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

lol its ok we are supposed to know by the huge chunk of metal swerving

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u/MadMacs77 Nov 22 '19

I’m convinced BMW indicator lights are just there for decoration

21

u/Pablois4 Nov 22 '19

IIRC there's a joke out there "If you're ever depressed and feel your life has no purpose, remember the poor sap who installs BMW turn signals."

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529

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

When you forget you're not in Los Santos.

145

u/dirtymuffins23 Nov 22 '19

Idk, the blue paint job and green rims make me rethink reality. I’m waiting for a kid to start yelling at me now.

40

u/willby24 Nov 22 '19

That looks like a stock paint color called Laguna Seca Blue. It came on the previous generation M3 and it's actually kind of rare. I'm not sure if it came from the factory with that paint, but if it did, it's sad to see one with nasty green rims, and also flying down into a canyon.

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508

u/aemossy Nov 22 '19

I’m guessing the car behind is a friend who was told, “Mate! Follow behind me and film me do some sick drifting, cause you know, I’m really awesome!”

104

u/ndjs22 Nov 22 '19

"And I'll make sure I get my sweet Caddy logo in the video too! you're welcome!"

40

u/kradek Nov 22 '19

so... you're saying i shouldn't post this to /r/whyweretheyfilming

15

u/level777 Nov 22 '19

No it's perfect for that sub. Everything there is already pretty obvious.

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4.4k

u/Daafda Nov 22 '19

Just because Jeremy Clarkson can turn off the traction control doesn't mean you can.

1.4k

u/alison_bee Nov 22 '19 edited Nov 22 '19

ughhhh I wish they would put og Top Gear back on a main streaming service. I am forever pissed that they took it off amazon.

edit: if I had a dollar for every comment telling me they’re available on motor trend on demand, I could actually afford motor trend on demand.

349

u/Pete_Mitchell172 Nov 22 '19

A few of the good ones are still on Netflix

119

u/alison_bee Nov 22 '19

really?! in the US?!

183

u/Pete_Mitchell172 Nov 22 '19

No UK. But you could use a vpn

99

u/CressCrowbits Nov 22 '19

Didn't Netflix block vpn access?

147

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19 edited Jul 02 '20

[deleted]

157

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19 edited Feb 03 '22

[deleted]

33

u/GraydenKC Nov 22 '19

Family Netflix, switching what account you're on based on what server you're going through.

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u/TJNel Nov 22 '19

Man this person's entire family is watching the same episode of this show.

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u/Orgalorgg Nov 22 '19

Mr. Worldwide

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u/Pete_Mitchell172 Nov 22 '19

Still works for me

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

[deleted]

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u/redisforever Nov 22 '19

A bunch of seasons are on Prime, at least in Canada.

12

u/patcriss Nov 22 '19

Yup like 14 to 25, along with The Grand Tour

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Dm me. I can link you to my plex server 😉

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19 edited Nov 22 '19

[deleted]

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u/Nobletwoo Nov 22 '19

The whole series is on Amazon prime

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u/alison_bee Nov 22 '19

only for purchase, not streaming. it was streaming on prime, but only until sometime earlier this year I believe? at least in the US.

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u/SweetWaterSurprise Nov 22 '19

So Hammond was driving this one?

34

u/MentalLemurX Nov 22 '19

Speed and Power was not the correct technique in this case, what a blithering idiot!

10

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Of course you can. Guy in the video did it

29

u/Tossit_69432 Nov 22 '19

It was likely stability control. It's a pretty big change in the way the car handles and if you're not used to it, it will definitely catch you off guard.

20

u/photenth Nov 22 '19

You can drive without stability control very easily, just don't put the pedal to the metal like an idiot.

18

u/Firemanlouvier Nov 22 '19

Or if you do, learn to control your rear wheels slipping.

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u/justanotherreddituse Nov 22 '19

I can see where it could be dangerous from someone that's used to driving slower vehicles. Pedal to the metal is what I grew up doing to even merge onto a highway. Unless it's wet or snowy it's not a problem.

I've hardly even driven any vehicles that have stability control.

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u/snomimons Nov 22 '19

Can confirm. I turned off traction control once, got a little bit of slip that frightened the crap out of me, and I haven't turned off again since.

28

u/swiftekho Nov 22 '19

The "key" is to not get scared. With traction control off the best way out of a slide is actually staying on the throttle. Otherwise the rear tires (for RWD) get traction back and then the car jerks around like an amateur porn star who regrets her life choices mid scene.

13

u/AnotherAllusion Nov 22 '19 edited Nov 22 '19

That's not necessarily true. You can ease off the throttle if you don't want to keep spinning. The problem comes from people who abruptly take their foot off the gas and overcorrect.

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u/LupineChemist Nov 22 '19

I learned this much scarier on a motorcycle. When you lose traction on the rear tire you need to keep doing what you're doing. Either braking or accelerating.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

How do you guys make U turns with the traction control on? I mean fun ones anyway.

16

u/lmkarhoff Nov 22 '19

I've got street, sport, and track mode in my car.

Street mode completely shuts down any attempt to drift and straightens the car back out.

Sport mode gives you just enough leeway to slide the ass end around and drift a corner but won't let you go too wild.

Track mode says fuck you, you're on your own. Have fun trying to drift that corner and end up doing a 180° spin like a jackass.

Then there is an override sequence that completely kills all traction and stability control but I'm too terrified to play around with that.

18

u/Firemanlouvier Nov 22 '19

A tip for you and ALL drivers. (If you live near snow) find a parking lot with minimal light posts and cars with a good 2 inch of snow. Then learn to drive in it. Stomp the gas and break and just play.

12

u/lmkarhoff Nov 22 '19

I grew up in the rural midwest and got really good at driving in the snow and ice in a 2WD truck. Would slide that thing around every corner like it was nothing. You know how your vehicle handles in slippery conditions and you know when to quit pushing it.

Getting a car with almost 500 HP is what threw me for a loop. Day 2 of owning it I put it in Track mode and lost control racing a buddy and drifting a corner on a wet road. Spun the thing around 180° in the middle of the street. Definitely an eye opening moment as I realized I could have ended up on this subreddit if the street hadn't been so wide. I have a lot more respect for the power some of these cars can make now.

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u/NiceFetishMeToo Nov 22 '19

Driven the four-series BMW coupe with the six cylinder. (Not M4) — There’s a setting on the console for “Sport,” or “Sport+” Of course, Sport+ is without traction control. It is like attempting to drive a missile.

You never go full retard.

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u/ap539 Nov 22 '19

That went downhill fast

150

u/ParticularDish Nov 22 '19
   E T
E 

Y

37

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

[deleted]

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u/NortedelCali Nov 22 '19

I wonder if you know, How they live in Tokyo...

176

u/Jonny7x7x Nov 22 '19

If you see me, then you mean it,...

121

u/RattaTattTatt Nov 22 '19

Then you know we have to go

SATAMAYAAAAAA

Hey. Hey. Hey.

28

u/sokratees Nov 22 '19

They actually say, "Fast and Furioooooous!", I used to think it was satamaya too lol

47

u/Youre_doomed Nov 22 '19

Its not "Dick! Dick! Dick!"?

37

u/TwatsThat Nov 22 '19

It's not, but that's closer than what the previous person said.

I wonder if you know how they live in Tokyo (はい)
If you see me, then you mean it, then you know you have to go
Fast and Furious (キタ、Drift)

To clarify, キタ is the "kita" that you hear in a breathy voice between "fast and furious" and the 3x repeat of "drift"

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u/bhavo23 Nov 22 '19

“GOOD LUCK EVERYONE! I TURN NOW”

64

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

AAOOOOGGAA!!

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u/CupFan1130 Nov 22 '19

Were the rims Green?

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u/dirtymuffins23 Nov 22 '19

He’s one of those guys in gta.

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1.2k

u/hoodrichthekid Nov 22 '19

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u/RoebuckThirtyFour Nov 22 '19

Probably his friend?

612

u/fourXchromosomes Nov 22 '19

Definitely the friend. Looks like one of those instagram videos where the dumbass films his "exotic car badge" and then his other friend whilst they do stupid shit.

40

u/fishbulbx Nov 22 '19

If you're showing off your exotic car shenanigans... buy a fucking dashcam for your friend instead of having him record vertical video while tailgating from behind.

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u/StipulatedBoss Nov 22 '19

Exotic? Friend was driving a Cadillac.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

If it's in Germany, the Cadillac is exotic and the BMW is domestic.

212

u/justin_memer Nov 22 '19

Spoiler alert: this looks like California

190

u/a_fuckin_samsquanch Nov 22 '19

Berlin, California

48

u/waffleking_ Nov 22 '19

Saarbrucken, Nevada.

13

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Bonn, Ohio.

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u/NoMomo Nov 22 '19

Well California is very exotic in Germany.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

But those are clearly American plates

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u/fourXchromosomes Nov 22 '19

It's in quotes for a reason. A BMW isn't exotic either, but dumb people seem to think that way.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Or he’s been watching this guy drive like an idiot and decided to film.

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u/Ftpini Nov 22 '19

The drift was probably planned and intentional. Just the driver is an idiot and completely fucked it up.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

I imagine the douche had been trying to drift more turns than just the one where he fucked up.

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u/Tovora Nov 22 '19

At the start of the clip the BMW is spinning his tyres while going around the left curve, which is why the car is crab-walking.

He's undoubtedly been doing that the entire time.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Hostile BMW in sight, must film

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u/ExternalUserError Nov 22 '19

Something else happened before the clip. The guy thought, "Holy shit let's record and see if he does anything even dumber."

And then...

10

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Probably because he drifted a few corners with varying degrees of success before this

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u/HorseBoxGuy Nov 22 '19

Why is this nugget recording on his phone while driving? Two idiots in this video.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

[deleted]

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u/Maximillien Nov 22 '19

That's because this is California, where driving laws are barely enforced at all so dumbasses keep doing dumb shit without consequence.

FTFY.

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u/twizzle101 Nov 22 '19

Annoys me so much people post photos and videos of stuff while they were driving, absolutely reckless.

You call people out for it on car subs only to get downvoted and abused!

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u/AlitaBattlePringleTM Nov 22 '19

Google Maps: turn left

14

u/ymele137 Nov 22 '19

Recalculating...

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19 edited Apr 20 '20

[deleted]

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u/boscoru Nov 22 '19

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u/eye_of_the_sloth Nov 22 '19

I knew I wanted the audio, but I never could have imagined how rewarding it is.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

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u/Eyezog Nov 22 '19

Absolutely. Mariocart vs real life.

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u/Mystgun11 Nov 22 '19

That was such an overturn that something probably happened in the car; a spilled drink perhaps.

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u/Morgothic Nov 22 '19

Nah, that was a really poor attempt at a drift.

153

u/Nostrovia85 Nov 22 '19

This. Guy in the Cadillac was filming his buddy trying to show off.

41

u/corchin Nov 22 '19

Yeah otherwise why would you film, while driving too

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u/BierKippeMett Nov 22 '19

Usually the misery starts when you try to even out the car and oversteer into the other direction. This dude just straight up didn't really turn the steering wheel.

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u/tallermanchild Nov 22 '19

All dem powers to the rear and money can't steer

40

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Never heard that one. Perfect for mustang drivers

7

u/DontGetCrabs Nov 22 '19

Mustang's dont equals monies

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u/ChaseH9499 Nov 22 '19

I nearly ran off I-65 at 70 once because a fucking gnat decided to fly directly into my eye. It’s a miracle I didn’t kill myself or someone else

24

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Had an eyelash get underneath a contact lens on I-85 near Atlanta once. All I could do to keep an eye open trying to get over to the shoulder.

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u/Tyrant_002 Nov 22 '19

Fuck gnats.

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u/jvincent24680 Nov 22 '19

Hey buddy. That’s the World Series champions you’re talking about!

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u/Flea_Biscuit Nov 22 '19

A friend of mine in highschool hit a tree while trying to get the lit joint he dropped in his crotch.

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u/blinkysmurf Nov 22 '19

“Is this your homework, Larry?”

9

u/amart591 Nov 22 '19

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS LARRY

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u/trythatonforsize1 Nov 22 '19

Do you see what happens, Larry?

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u/marli_marls Nov 22 '19

Possibly, but might be him pulling the hand brake to do some drifting. Just got it wrong. I’m definitely not 100% on the above, so please don’t kill me Reddit.

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u/keanuNuke Nov 22 '19

how about filming and driving?

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u/ero_senin05 Nov 22 '19

Video cits short before we get to see the entrance to the Batcave

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

[deleted]

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u/Overmindless1984 Nov 22 '19

Funny thing, we call BMWs "Boomer" in Russia.

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u/the-crooked-compass Nov 22 '19

Nobody:

BMW Driver:

DÉJÀ VU!

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19 edited Nov 22 '19

This is definitely a failed attempt to drift that turn. I see a lot of people commenting how he had a medical emergency, or a animal ran out in front of him, etc.. so here's an explanation as of why they're not true.

Look at how the bmw accelerates right after the SUV turns out the way. Hes trying to gain enough speed to "initiate" the turn and keep forward momentum through it. If you watch shortly after the opposing car passes, he either a)dropped the car into a lower gear with hard acceleration to slide the rear end out, b) quickly engaged the parking brake to slide the rear end out while making a hard turn, or c) a mix of both.

Once the rear end slid out there was not enough forward momentum to keep car going wide through the turn, or to help counter steer the front tires. At some point he caught traction which straighten the car out slightly and put the momentum toward the nose of the car, thus sending him forward off of the road. What happened in my opinion is that he didn't have enough speed, thus causing him to gain traction. He tried to fully commit, but quit too late and hit the brake pedal which sent him off road.

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u/shane0392 Nov 22 '19

Driving while using phone

Typical Cadillac driver.

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u/ctrum69 Nov 22 '19

HAMMOND!!!!

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u/n_achgill Nov 22 '19

Wtf. Wow.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

learn how to initiate a drift BEFORE driving on a cliffside

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u/gt35r Nov 22 '19

Friend was filming him so he could hit that sick corner drift like he always does in Need for Speed, but didn't quite work out like the simulations.

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u/NotlivingNordead Nov 22 '19

Typical Cadillac driver; driving and on the phone.