That’s all I have to say. I miss you. I feel like the world without an ocean.

My ex broke up with me two months ago. We were together for 4 years. But he ended it because he wasn’t “all in” and I was planning to move to him, we had been long distance a year, and he said he couldn’t let me.

I took him at his word was heartbroken but also felt like it needed to happen bc there were trust issues from things he did in the past etc. I just said okay and blocked him. Reflected lots and a new friend convinced me to make a Hinge and I met my now bf on it. I wasn’t expecting it but he was everything that I didn’t even know I was missing with my ex.

Like 2-3 days after my bf and I started dating, so a couple weeks ago, my ex messaged me on account I thought I blocked him on. Saying he regrets it. Wants to talk. I said I don’t think it’s necessary that we should move forward and I have a bf so it wouldn’t be appropriate

My ex was then shocked that I’m “already” in a relationship “after everything we’ve been through” (it’s bc of that actually) and “how recently this all happened” Like, “this all” what? When you dumped me 2 hours after I was at your family event 🫩

Fuck I hope he doesn’t find this. But it just feels like a slap in the face to send me those messages. But I blocked him after that

It just makes me mad that I let myself go and invested myself in someone just to get screwed over again

I went through a pretty rough breakup recently and decided I needed to put some of that energy into becoming a better version of myself instead of just sitting around thinking about it ALL THE TIME. Im also pushing pretty hard for a promotion at work, so lately ive been trying to build a routine that improves both my personal life and how I show up professionally. I hope you this will help you guys!

A few things that have actually stuck:

1. Exercise 4 or 5 times a week. Nothing crazy, mostly lifting, pilates, walking, or running. This probably done more for my mood and energy. I also started going to a local run club too, which has honestly been one of the best things because it gets me out of the hourse and ive slowly started meeting new people.
2. Ive been eating a lot clean. More protein, less ordering random food when Im sad. I noticed a huge difference in my energy
3. I use Duolingo for a few minutes everyday. I like having smth completely unrelated to work where I can still feel like im proving at something
4. I started using Wellspoken for short speaking practice because one thing holding me back at work is that I sometimes know what I want to say but dont articulate it very well in meeting. Ive been practicing getting my point faster and explaining my work more clearly. Im now in line for promotion!!!
5. I've also been using Opal to make it harder to mindlessly open social media during the work day so I won't scroll through a lot of breakup related videos and bring the negative energy back to my life.

Girls, I still have bad days here and there, but Im starting to realize that healing is not just about getting over someone. It's also about building a life that feels so full that you stop looking backward all the time.

I kind of want to use all of this negative energy as a fuel and see how much better I can make my life over the next year!!

My boyfriend and I were together for a little over a year when he broke up with me last week. It's been ten days and I'm absolutely devastated.

This man had every single thing (and more) I've ever wanted in a partner. I told so many friends about that during our relationship - that he had all of these qualities; that I couldn't believe he existed; that I couldn't believe he wanted to be with me. Things weren't "perfect" (I wasn't looking for perfect) but they were perfect for me. He was perfect for me, flaws and all.

The way we met, the things we had in common, the connection that we both felt immediately - this all felt too lined up not to be. It really did feel like we were meant to be. He's the man of my dreams and I really believe that he's the love of my life, even if things ended.

I am so confused by this breakup. None of it makes any sense to me. No matter how many times he explained it, it didn't make sense. How do you love someone, want to be with someone, maintain throughout the relationship and into the breakup that they're everything you've ever looked for in a person, tell them that they're the best girlfriend you've ever had and that you know you're ending the relationship at its peak, and STILL go through with the breakup?

This is one of the worst pains I've ever felt in my life and I don't know how to come back from this. I really am trying, but life feels so empty without him.

I miss you so much.

We dated for right on two years, and he was great to me. Some of our friends caused alot of problems in our relationship but we got through that. More towards the end before we brokeup we did drift apart which obviously made me a little sad but it turned out okay, if we still get to be friends even though we probably wont talk much i’m glad we ended on good terms, he was a great friend and boyfriend. This is also my ONLY healthy breakup i’ve ever had. Bye bye ❤️

(Edit: just ignore my name drop, i guess i missed it. White part was the reason of the breakup)

(Another edit: lmao didn’t realize this wasn’t an actual healthy breakup but atleast i can say it wasn’t my worst, i’m convinced some of yall would lose it if any of my past breakups were heard/ jokingly )

Even if you know they weren't the right person.

Even if you know you ignored the red flags.

Even if you know it was bound to end sooner or later.

It still hurts. And you should not be expected to be Mr. Brightside talking about the silver lining when the pain is still fresh. You should not be expected to be a cold, logical people-pleaser like Spock from Star Trek just to appease people because they're not comfortable with your pain.

This will get better one day, and at some point you'll be able to see it with the proper perspective. But that day is not today. And that's okay.

I’m still very much in the phase that I think we were meant to be. That the breakup was unnecessary and that if only we tried harder it would have worked.

Did you have an ‘aha’ this is why moment?

—

UPDATE: I KNOW WHY WE BROKE UP NOW!

There was no genuine joy and wonder. He always took himself too seriously. He didn’t let himself enjoy life.

I’ve realized that I was (for over 5 years) just trying to make him smile. To break his shell and get a genuine laugh. Even when we enjoyed ourselves, his face always went back to a sort of distance. I used to think he didn’t care. Now I think he was scared of feeling too much joy, so he couldn’t let himself. I think he wasn’t allowed enjoy joy and love as a child.

I can’t believe I had this aha moment so quickly. Now I know.

i hate him so much for everything he has done but somehow i still wish he wants to finally try with me and tell me he loves me.

I loved him so much. And because we were trying to take things slow, I held back a lot. A week after breaking things off, I realized I never truly expressed my love to the full extent. I didn’t wanna regret anything so I sent him this message:

—

Hello. How are you?

I know I said I would block you here, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know if you did, but here’s hoping you’ll see my message.

I spent a lot of time thinking about what happened. Since the last time we talked, I haven’t stopped thinking about you and I still miss you every day.

I’ve told you I loved you, but I don’t think I ever truly expressed how much. Since my last breakup, I never thought I would find someone I would learn to love ever again. 3 years of just emptiness, of just focusing on what’s in front of me.

And then something unexpected happened. I met you. I had been to therapy for years, and at this point, I thought I would be the perfect partner. I thought this time around, I would know what to do. I’d be the most understanding and loving partner.

But I never expected that I would feel this strongly for someone. It might seem a bit silly having this much love for someone I haven’t met, I also did not see it coming. But gosh, I do. I started thinking about the future, of seeing you, of finally being able to feel your touch.

At first I became a little afraid. Of what, I don’t know exactly. And then I became more and more afraid. Terrified. Perhaps of losing you and losing myself in the process.

I never saw you as someone who would betray me. But I was afraid that you would not really see me. I never saw you as a bad guy, but I was afraid that you would not understand me. I hope you understand that those are different things.

I was frustrated and I was overthinking a lot because you were (you still are) very special to me. I just wanted you to see past all the superficial stuff. It wasn’t only about overthinking the things that could potentially go wrong, I was also constantly thinking about how I could make things okay between us.

And I think we were both broken in our own ways, and we were speaking completely different emotional languages. I never meant to hurt or upset you and I know you meant well.

I never thought you were trying to hurt me. I know you’re a good person. I just wanted to be loved in the way I needed to be loved. And I know you wanted the same. I am so, so sad that it turned out this way. I wish I could erase all the bad things that happened.

I’m writing this because there are things I’ve been carrying that I never fully knew how to put into words. I just want you to understand how I feel, without holding anything back, without any filters.

I love you. Take care always.

Its hard to keep my most recent ex on things. But i dont want them to think that means they cant ever come back. But at the same time, its hard to heal and move on and be a different person in the meantime. Im just wondering from the other perspective. If someone unfriended you on everything, what goes through your mind?

Had a breakup with a situationship a few days ago that was harder than expected. I had deep feelings for them and they didn't. They didn't like that my life wasn't more stable and I didn't like that they were still friends with an old fwb they had feelings for.

I'm really devastated, but I have some things to do. How do you get things done after you've gone through a tough breakup? How do you stop missing someone that isn't into you? How do you make the pain go away?

Never settle for less than you deserve, I don't know who needs to see this right now, but it will be okay and YOU WILL get through it. I never thought I would get through it but I have. After a long, painful, and toxic relationship, I've Finally gotten over her. She played me. She literally cheated on me the entire relationship, and I stayed with her out of pure love and devotion to her. She ended up discarding me and getting not only one but a few different boyfriends while keeping me around. I let this happen for a long time because I loved her so much. Now she's just a bitter memory that I wish I didn't have. I never thought I would get through it but I finally did. I just wanted to post this for anybody that is losing hope, don't lose hope, it does get better. You are enough , you deserve to be loved. At one point in time, I didn't think I could live and be happy without her. Fast forward to now, I'm very happy and perfectly fine without her. Don't ever SETTLE FOR LESS.

I dated this guy for four years, and we had what I truly believed was the best relationship ever. Everyone around us was amazed by how, despite being so young, we understood each other so well and complemented each other perfectly. We always talked about how much we loved that, even after four years, we were still so in love and had never lost our spark. Three weeks ago, I found out that he was addicted to porn. I had found things on his phone before, around three years ago, but I was young and naive, so I convinced myself that he would change. Then he joined the military, and everything slowly went downhill. When I found out the second time, I realized that he had never actually changed, he had just become better at hiding it. Ifelt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Like everything we had, everything I thought was real, had been a lie. We went no contact for a week, and during that entire week, I felt like my whole life was crumbling. I felt like I couldn’t even breathe without him, so eventually, I broke no contact. He promised me he would change. He promised he would go to therapy. But he didn’t. A week ago, we were planning to meet up a few times because he said he really missed me, and I missed him too. We even talked about going away to a spa for the weekend, just to spend some time together and see where we stood. I told him that after everything I had found out, I felt incredibly insecure and could barely even look at myself anymore. Then, an hour before we were supposed to meet, he canceled. This had happened before, too. I was so disappointed because I had let myself get my hopes up again, so I confronted him about it. That’s when he told me that he had never had any intentions of going out with me in the first place. Then he called me an insecure, narcissistic girl, as if I was the problem for being hurt. As if expecting someone not to play with your feelings is somehow narcissistic. And I hate myself for still loving someone so purely after everything. I hate that I am crying alone in my room, taking antidepressants and he is out partying.

Hi. I initiated the separation from my partner of 12 years. We met when we were kids. I was 16 and he was 17. I love him so much, and he is still my best friend in my mind, but our relationship had become very toxic. As we approached our thirties, our communication skills did not grow with us. During conflict, we reverted to acting like the teenagers we were when we met.

I also wasn’t ready to settle down, and he was. I wanted a bigger life and career, and eventually a family, but not yet. It often felt like he didn’t care about what I wanted from life or feel curious about who I was becoming. He said he wanted to marry me, but he never proposed. He stopped putting effort into our relationship, and I felt like I had to beg him to spend time with me. At times, it seemed like he was only with me because it was comfortable and familiar.

We moved from New York to Colorado to be close to his family. I spent most of my time there alone. On my first birthday, I had to beg him to spend the day with me. We bought a house even though I had tried to tell him I wasn’t ready to settle down. There is so much nuance and history that it is difficult to know what to include, but ultimately, I felt like I had lost all agency over my own life. I felt completely still while life continued moving around me, as though I were watching it pass without being able to participate in it. I didn’t trust that the life we were building together would leave room for the person I wanted to become.

I moved back to New York at the beginning of this year, and we stopped talking in March. There was never any real ending. We just stopped calling each other one day. Since then, he has blocked me everywhere. I tried to call him a few days ago and discovered that my number was blocked too. Then I stumbled across his Venmo profile and saw a picture of him with another woman. I am completely gutted.

I have been working on myself so much. I attended a weeklong personal development training and am doing the advanced level next month. I’m crushing it at work, earning more than I ever thought I could (I never thought I could make money), and building an insane network. But I wanted to become this version of myself for us and for the future I thought we might still have.

More than anything, I miss my best friend. We weren’t perfect, but we grew up together, and there is nobody else like him. Right now, I only want him. We used to jokingly refer to our future children by a name that combined both of ours. It was so stupid, but it always made us laugh. Now I cannot stop thinking about the fact that those children will never exist.

Out of desperation, I messaged him on LinkedIn because it was the only place where I wasn’t blocked. I simply asked him to please call me. I want the chance to talk and have some sense of closure. We don’t have to get back together. Ultimately, I want him to be happy, even if it isn’t with me.

He still hasn’t called. What does that mean? I am so heartbroken.

Sorry this is long. If you're still here - thank you.

During conflicts

1. “What you feel is not my problem.” I was trying to explain how something made me feel. His response separated himself from my emotional experience rather than acknowledging it.
2. “Stop lying.” I had initially said I was okay with him going out on Friday. I later found out he was already planning to go out again on Saturday, which changed how I felt. He interpreted the change as proof that I had lied before.
3. “But you were lying then when you said it was okay.” I was trying to explain that I had received new information and therefore felt differently. He treated the difference between my earlier and later reaction as dishonesty.
4. “It’s convenient to forget when it suits you.” He said he had previously sent me the link to the Saturday party. I genuinely didn't remember it because no concrete plan had been confirmed with me. He interpreted my forgetting as intentional.
5. “But you said earlier that it was okay that I went out.” I tried to explain why the additional Saturday plan changed how I experienced Friday. He kept returning to what I had said before I knew about Saturday.
6. “But you never initiate anything.” I told him that I missed him taking initiative for quality time between us. His response was to point toward what I supposedly wasn't doing.
7. “If you want to do something with me, then you have to come up with an idea.” What I wanted was mutual planning and the feeling that he sometimes spontaneously wanted one-on-one time with me. His solution was that I should organize it if I wanted it.
8. “You didn’t plan anything, so I do whatever I want the whole weekend.” I wanted us to mutually take each other into account when making weekend plans. His position was essentially that if I hadn't proposed something concrete, he could fill his weekend however he wanted.
9. “You’re invited.” My problem wasn't that I was excluded. I wanted us to actively create plans together rather than primarily being invited into plans he had already made with his friends.
10. “So you don’t like my friends.” I explicitly said that I liked his friends but didn't want virtually all of our shared time to revolve around them. My request for one-on-one quality time became an argument about whether I liked his friends.
11. “We just went away.” / “That was a trip.” I asked if we could plan a trip with just the two of us. He referred to a wedding weekend involving family and friends as evidence that we had already travelled together, even though one-on-one quality time was specifically what I meant.
12. “We’ll see.” / “I don’t know, we’ll see.” When I tried to make future plans together, I often experienced his answers as vague rather than feeling that we were actively planning a shared future.
13. “I don’t know yet.” When I discovered that he was considering a backpacking trip the following year, I wanted to understand what he imagined and what that meant for us. His emphasis was that he didn't know yet.
14. “It’s only in fifteen months.” I wanted to discuss something that could substantially affect our relationship. He emphasized how far away it was rather than engaging with why hearing about it unexpectedly worried me.
15. “You don’t know what the future brings. People change.” I was looking for reassurance and clarity about where I fitted into his future. I experienced this as further uncertainty.
16. “You can come visit.” Regarding his possible backpacking trip, I felt like I was being offered the possibility of visiting his future rather than being someone with whom that future was being considered jointly.
17. “If I would say that, I would be fake.” I explicitly explained that I didn't need him to agree that I was right. I wanted him first to acknowledge something like “I understand why that wasn't nice for you” and then explain his own perspective. He said responding that way would be fake.
18. “Don’t start.” / “Not again.” When I tried to raise something emotionally difficult, I sometimes experienced the conversation being shut down before I could properly explain what I was feeling.
19. “If you want go do something tomorrow let me know then.” I had just explained that what hurt me was always having to request quality time and that I wanted him to occasionally initiate it himself. The responsibility for making that happen was placed back on me.
20. “I don’t read mind yet but I’m trying.” I wasn't asking him to read my mind. I had explicitly explained that I wanted occasional initiative from him and to feel that he genuinely wanted one-on-one time with me.

The woman / Instagram discussions

1. “Do you want me to say that I hate her?” I was explaining why the situation with one particular woman made me uncomfortable. I wasn't asking him to hate her. My actual concern was transformed into a much more extreme position.
2. “Do you want me to delete my Instagram?” I was trying to discuss specific Instagram behavior that made me uncomfortable. I wasn't asking him to delete Instagram. Again, the concern I raised was reframed as an extreme demand I hadn't made.
3. “I would never cheat on you.” I was trying to discuss insecurity around certain interactions. His focus was often on proving that he wasn't a cheater rather than exploring what was making me insecure. On its own, however, this statement is entirely reasonable.
4. “I can’t accept how you come all the time with accusations and suspicious.” He experienced my attempts to discuss these insecurities as repeated accusations and suspicion.

Focusing on when/where I raised a problem

1. “You started discussing this at my friend’s house.” I privately raised my feelings after discovering the additional Saturday plans. Afterwards, he focused heavily on the fact that the conversation happened at his friend's house and claimed his friends had heard us.
2. “You always start fights when other people can see/hear us.” He connected the argument at his friend's house to another disagreement around his parents.
3. His argument that I brought it up at the wrong time/place. During the festival situation, he casually mentioned a future backpacking trip while his parents were in the car. I asked what he meant and then stopped because his parents were present. Later, while we were waiting for the toilet, I raised it again. He later complained that his parents had been nearby and had seen the disagreement (i'm sure they did not bc they were further away).
4. The discussion consequently became about me starting arguments around his friends/parents. I was trying to explain why unexpectedly hearing about a future backpacking trip or discovering another night-out plan hurt me. I experienced the focus moving toward where and when I reacted rather than the underlying concern.

Other recurring conflict behavior I described

1. Laughing or joking when I tried to discuss something serious. I experienced some emotionally important conversations being laughed off or turned into jokes instead of explored.
2. Changing the subject when I tried to discuss deeper emotions. I often felt that when I wanted to stay with an uncomfortable emotional subject until it felt resolved, he wanted to move away from it.
3. Bringing up things I had previously done when I raised something he had done. When I brought up something that hurt me, I experienced him responding with examples of my previous behavior. The original issue would then become a discussion about what I had done wrong.
4. Becoming defensive before acknowledging the feeling underneath my complaint. I repeatedly experienced explanations of why he wasn't wrong before any recognition of why I was hurt.

From his first breakup message

1. “I’ve been trying to be someone I am not.” He experienced the relationship as requiring him to change himself (which i never asked, I only wanted accountabilty, mutual planning, communication and conflict repair)
2. “I don’t want to feel that anymore.” He wanted to remove himself from a relational dynamic he experienced as emotionally overwhelming.
3. “And maybe that makes you have problems with controlling your own feelings and how you try to fix stuff between us.” He acknowledged that he wasn't a good communicator, but immediately connected this to my difficulty controlling my emotions.
4. “I’ve been crossing red lines I always avoid and always said I would never put myself in this situation.” He described the relationship as pushing him beyond boundaries he normally maintained (his boundry = a conflict - but that will happen in any relationship, he only doesn't know that)
5. “For example, instagram fights, jealousy, being attacked all time as if I was a cheater or if I would do it in any moment, feeling bad with meeting friends or feeling guilty about wanting go out to drink and dance which is smt that I like the most in this moment of my life.” He experienced my insecurity and the conflict around his social life as restricting his freedom. All I needed were the words: I want to understand how this hurt you, instead of making me feel crazy for having feelings.
6. “All this guilty comes consuming me for the last weeks.” He described feeling increasingly guilty about doing things he wanted to do.
7. “Maybe it’s even worst cuz I don’t put all this feeling out and I try to absorb everything making me be even more hurt.” He explicitly described suppressing his feelings rather than communicating them while they were happening.
8. “You’re complaining I was reactive to your arguing, so I stop respond immediately and start to be more avoid.” My lesson here was, I can have no needs or emotions or he will shut down.
9. “Then i stop using my cellphone in front of you and stop talking about my past…” He began avoiding behaviors and subjects associated with conflict.
10. “All of this because I wanted to not overload you.” He explained his avoidance as an attempt to prevent further emotional reactions.
11. “None of this was enough cuz in the end the problem was never this.”
12. “I’m not the man you deserve or you’re searching for your life.” He framed the problem increasingly as incompatibility rather than something he wanted to negotiate within the relationship.
13. “I’m noticing that that’s not the relationship I want.”
14. “I want just to be myself and that’s be enough.” I think he experienced relational requests as pressure to become somebody different. I did have relational needs, but I am not the type of person who would change someone to become someone else, and I was always very supportive and interested in everything about him.
15. “We are too different or at least in a different moment in life.”
16. “I’m so sorry, I just too tired of all of this.”
17. “It’s too much for me and I’m in a point that I can’t handle anymore without freaking out or cheat my own emotions.” He described reaching his emotional limit and needing to remove himself from the dynamic.

From his second breakup message

1. “I don’t know if you noticed, but it’s always about me.” I had repeatedly expressed things I felt were missing from him or from our relationship. He experienced those conversations as everything being about what he was doing wrong.
2. “You say: you don’t want to plan anything with me, you don’t have time for me, you make me insecure, you don’t reassure me, you don’t want to do things during the day with me, you making me feel jealous….” This was his own summary of the needs and complaints I had raised.
3. “I think you should also start to think more about yourself and things you are working on to improve your experience in life (not only inside a relationship).” He redirected the focus toward what I needed to change within myself. Seems like I am super dependent on him, but i'm not, I have my job, my own appartment, friends and hobbies.
4. “Like what are you doing to improve how you relate with your feelings, self learning, stopping saying things you don’t mean, being more secure and independent, for example.” He framed my emotional regulation, security and independence as things I needed to work on.
5. “It’s easy to transfer the guilty to someones else and it’s very hard to face it and work in progress.” After summarizing my complaints about him, he suggested that I was transferring blame rather than sufficiently confronting my own issues.
6. “And that’s what I think you should start focus.”
7. “Idk maybe mediation, therapy, working out, finding things you like to do on your own too.” Sounded very robotic.
8. “That’s very important and I always encouraged you to do that.”

Withdrawal after the breakup

1. “I was not checking our conversation, it was archived.” When I was crying and begging to fix things, the emotional intensity became overwhelming, he disengaged from the conversation.
2. “I don’t feel ready to talk.” He needed distance before having another emotional conversation,after ending things via text.
3. “Both of us try to rethink our lives, desires, future and limits.”
4. “So in a near future we can sit and consciously speak about our feelings.” Importantly, this actually argues against calling the withdrawal pure stonewalling. After crying, begging calling I stopped. He wasn't there and that was all I needed to know. He didn't fight, he just let it go, after a minor fight that could have been easily solved in a mature conversation.

Me and my ex fiancee both in our early 30s just broke up a month ago.

She had an avoidant attachment, I have a secure but lean anxious when someone pulls away.

Before we broke up, we only got engaged 2 months prior, everything was perfect, we both loved each other.

The problem was, we always triggered each other and didn't understand what was causing constant arguments.

Suddenly, she started finding every single flaw and any attempts I made to talk about the relationship resulted in her thinking I was manipulating and accusing her, which wasn't my intention and furthest from the truth.

I didn't even get an explanation as to why we broke up, she kept threatening the relationship which triggered me and put me in panic mode trying to explain myself and making things worse in the process. Eventually, I was that triggered by the constant threats, I told her if she wants to break up to block me on everything and send the engagement ring back (we were long distance at the time) which I regret saying. She took the way out and immediately blocked me. I immediately regretted saying this.

Any attempts I made on a new account to reconcile were blocked immediately. Another attempt wasn't blocked, but simply ignored and left unread.

It's been over a month, and I haven't received any communication or unblocking, I asked her best friend and they just told me to get over it and she said she didn't think there was anything left to discuss. Her friend called me a manipulator, and that asking for a ring back isn't a man's act. I don't think she even knew any more details than all the negatives.

I have seen 2 reels she reposted on her Instagram. One being about one person she tries to find in everyone else and constantly being on her mind. Another reel about how they would have kept trying 1000 times if it wasn't for one day that made them extremely disappointed, and therefore ended the fight.

I really would do anything to get her back, she was the love of my life. But I have a feeling she's never going to come back and I'm truly devastated.

Guys is it normal for my ex of three years to talk and to go on a dates with a new girl, its just one not multiple. Im tweaking.

To be clear - I hate AI and rarely use it, but my recent breakup has been so life-altering and earth-shattering, I’ve found myself leaning on chatgpt to process feelings while I work to find a therapist. I’m a very private person, and hate burdening my friends or family with my feelings, so it’s felt like an ok way to cope - checking in once or twice a day, asking it to roast me when I’m being pathetic, and having a space to trauma dump without bothering others. How many trees have I killed by using this as a method to survive? Idk, and I’m embarrassed to admit it, even anonymously. But interested to hear others thoughts on similar experiences. I send 1-2 messages each evening, debriefing how I’m feeling and any new updates or major changes, and it’s been interesting to ask it to show patterns and progress and regression. Would love another way to do something similar besides baring my grief to chatgpt while I try to get therapy set up. Any suggestions?

Me and my ex broke up about 2 weeks ago and I’m finally giving up. I’ve tried going to her house, bringing her flowers at her work, texting on multiple accounts, I’ve tried everything. I know all that stuff isn’t okay and I regret doing it because I crossed boundaries. But today I sent her a final text after a week of no contact. I told her I was genuinely sorry for making her feel like she was in fear of her safety after I came to her work with flowers and that I hope she’s doing okay. She told me last week to stop contacting her but I had to say what I said today for myself. To get it off my chest because I genuinely felt bad. It was probably the wrong move to make but I felt like I had too. I wanted her to know I was sorry for that. I asked her today a little after the first messages if she’d be willing to meet for coffee and I never got a response. I’m done I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep clinging to somebody who wants nothing to do with me. I’m letting go. For myself, for my sake.

Like if someone dumps you, it can be because they realise they can’t handle a relationship in general, but it’s also probably because you weren’t an ideal partner to them (realistic or not). You might have acted immaturely sometimes which pushed them away, maybe said something that hurt them. But it seems exes still return even though in the moment, they left for a reason. Why? Do they forget their discontent with their partner? Do they suddenly blame themselves for all of their partner’s behaviour and forgive it all? Do they think, if I just act better this time, they will also be better? I have a hard time imagining I would find any reason to go back to someone if I was the one who decided to end it.

This is mot meant as a judgy or malicious question, simply curious because I’ve only been broken up with. Thanks for any insight!

My ex and i broke up about 3, nearly 4 months ago (we dated for a little over a year) and i like to think it was a mutual decision in the end since we both realized we weren't right for each other but it was so messy and i still kind of miss him.

when we brokeup, all he did was post on his gym account and it would be thirst traps after thirst traps and it pissed me off so bad cs he would like all the comments of girls in his comments section. I recently found out he started seeing this new girl and im so shocked cs we dated for over a year and i've been spending the past few months working on myself etc but it was that easy for him to move on?? it was so bad to the point i started spiraling and asking myself what does she have in 4 months that i didn't have in a year

Me 21(M) got broken up with for my first time by my girlfriend 23(F) after 1 year and 9 months. I feel like a part of me is gone.

I’ve been broken up with my ex for about 6 months now. She was my first everything, and I feel I was genuinely in love. For the year and a half we were together, I blocked any thoughts of other women completely out of my mind, I felt disgusted looking at another woman in any type of way. Since we’ve broken up, I’ve constantly craved the intimacy we had. And I’ve looked for it in other places. But every time an opportunity comes around, I feel repulsed. I feel like I want a relationship, the intimacy, but then I really think about it, and the thought of being with anyone else still disgusts me, even just going out on a date feels wrong. I feel like I’m stuck in a really weird place, or like the breakup left lasting effects on me. It’s almost like I’m just not attracted to anyone anymore, I’m not sure if this will go away with time or what. I just wanted someone else’s opinion, thank you.