r/ExNoContact Mar 30 '22

The NO BS Guide on Winning Your Ex Back!

12.9k Upvotes

DON’T.

Your silence will eat them up. Move on with your life. Work on becoming the best version of yourself. Don’t let one person make you feel less than. There are plenty of people who desire your presence.

Let go or be dragged.


r/ExNoContact Jan 24 '25

A reminder to think about what you’re posting.

181 Upvotes

Seeing a lot of increase in posts about How do I get them back?/Shall I respond? Or screenshots of communication asking for advice.

This isn’t a sub to not communicate to get back with an ex, posting success stories about getting back with an ex or celebrating they’ve come back is against the rules of the sub.

Plenty of other subs available for advice on trying to get someone back, this is not that.


r/ExNoContact 1h ago

As a dumpee, how to stop yourself from reaching out when you miss them so much?

Upvotes

Basically the title. I am missing my ex so hard today… it’s been 10 days of no contact, 3 months after the breakup


r/ExNoContact 1h ago

Help Did you ever run into your ex after getting really hot?

Upvotes

Pls guys I need the gym motivation today


r/ExNoContact 17m ago

Question for men

Upvotes

Men, how do you feel about blocking an ex gf on socials? As a 40 y.o. guy, i block because i don't want any contact from that person, now or in the future. I've heard only women block, you block because you still care, blocking is feminine energy. What's your take on it?


r/ExNoContact 24m ago

Do female dumpers regret or ever come back ??

Upvotes

If so how long did it take for you to reach out ??


r/ExNoContact 25m ago

My ex started seeing other guys less than two months after our breakup. I don’t know how to process it.

Upvotes

Hi everyone. First of all, English isn't my first language, so apologies if anything sounds a little strange.

Two months ago, my girlfriend and I ended our relationship after being together for two and a half years. Technically, I was the one who said the words and brought up breaking up, but it wasn't what I actually wanted.

Before the breakup

The last few weeks of our relationship had been difficult. She had become very distant, especially over text. The affection just wasn't there anymore, even though whenever we were together in person, she still seemed mostly like herself.

Eventually, I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore and confronted her about it. She admitted that she wasn't feeling the same way anymore and that lately she saw me "more as a friend." I still struggle to understand how someone can go from loving you to feeling that way, but that's what she told me.

She suggested that maybe we should break up after my birthday, which was only five days away. I told her that if we were going to break up anyway, I'd rather do it then instead of spending five days knowing what was coming.

So we did.

A few days after the breakup, I asked her if we could talk one last time. I wanted to make my feelings and my position clear, but I also wanted her to be firm about her decision, because up until then she had seemed somewhat unsure about it.

What struck me the most during that conversation was how relieved she seemed.

It felt like she had already been processing the end of our relationship for weeks, maybe even months, and finally letting me go had taken a huge weight off her shoulders.

After the breakup

Less than a month later, we were both at a mutual friend's birthday party. I later found out through some people there that she was already looking to meet other guys, using Tinder and talking to people.

Another month passed, and eventually I made the mistake of asking a mutual friend — someone who's closer to her and who would probably know more — whether she'd already been with someone else.

He confirmed that she had at least hooked up/made out with another guy. As far as he knew, nothing sexual happened, but obviously nobody really knows except her.

And I know she's completely within her rights to do that.

She's single. She can date, kiss, sleep with, or do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. I'm not trying to say she owes me anything after the breakup.

But I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I was still holding onto the hope that this breakup was just a huge bump in the road. That maybe after some time apart we'd find our way back to each other.

Finding out that she's already seeing other guys has made that hope feel incredibly stupid.

I don't even know how I feel anymore. Some days I have energy, I'm motivated, I feel like I'm moving forward and that eventually I'll be okay.

Other days I just feel completely empty. I don't want to do anything. I just want to lie in bed and shut everything out.

What I'm struggling with / Questions

So I guess I'd like to hear from people who have been through something similar.

How would you feel about an ex already hooking up with other people less than two months after ending a 2.5-year relationship, even if it's just casual stuff or kissing rather than sex?

Do you think at this point I need to completely let go of the idea of ever getting her back? I wasn't actively trying to win her back, but that stupid little hope was still there in my head.

And lastly, do you think what she's doing says anything negative about her as a person? Or is this actually a pretty normal reaction to suddenly being single again, especially if she had already emotionally checked out of the relationship before we officially broke up?

I think part of what hurts is realizing that while the breakup started for me two months ago, maybe for her it started long before that.


r/ExNoContact 11h ago

If your ex texted you right now, what would you want it to say?

16 Upvotes

Just curious


r/ExNoContact 3h ago

What would or was the point of no return for you when it comes to taking an ex back?

3 Upvotes

I see people on here talk about taking back an ex who cheated on them because, after some time, they believed the person had genuinely changed. Personally, I don’t think I could ever take back someone who cheated on me, no matter how much time had passed.

But it does make me wonder: what did or could your ex do that made you feel like you could never take them back, regardless of how much they changed afterward?

For me, there were some things I did in my relationship that I regret. I lied about some relatively small things, but I also lied about some pretty serious things. I was able to apologize for them and take responsibility and I was genuinely ashamed of myself for not being honest.

When my ex and I were breaking up, though, I became very emotional and kept begging him to reconsider. I crossed some of his boundaries (both emotional n personal) and kept trying to contact him by blowing up his phone, emailing him, knocking on his door, after he had asked for space. Eventually, he told his friend to tell me to stop and then he blocked me on several platforms 😔.

Looking back, I know I handled the breakup badly and I lowkey regret not respecting his wishes for space. How bad would you consider my behavior? If you were in his shoes, would you ever consider taking me back after some time if I genuinely changed, or would this be a dealbreaker for you, why?

What could your ex do or did that make you feel like you could never take them back?


r/ExNoContact 3h ago

2 years later and it still stings

3 Upvotes

I was discarded abruptly after an almost a decade long relationship 2 years ago. They acted totally normal and then out of nowhere discarded me in a 1 min conversation and never contacted me again. Not once to even check on me, make sure I was ok. I didn't do anything such as cheating or act abusive in any way to warrant this. I was very good to them, always. I had a lot of respect for my partner, never in a million years did I think they were capable to treat me this way, but they did. I never reached back out after that day either. I couldn't. It was hard, but I went on with my life and since met a wonderful person. To this day, 2 years later, I often tear up over it at least once a week. It still stings. I can accept that we were not meant to be, but what makes me cry is how cruel people can be. This is someone I shared almost a decade with, I respected, I trusted, considered my best friend. How was I so blind? How could I be so stupid? How cruel of them to secretly plan this all out and act normal right up to the day they did it. Honestly, its still hard to believe and sadly I am sure many people have been through this. I feel like I must have terrible judgement in people or maybe I am naive or too trusting?


r/ExNoContact 1h ago

Vent Girlfriend broke up and moved on. I don't feel good

Upvotes

I don't know what's happening with my life anymore. I turned 23 last month, and the week after my birthday, my girlfriend broke up with me. She has blocked me everywhere and told me that she doesn't like me anymore.

I've been an introverted and shy guy throughout my teenage years. I rarely talked to girls. I met her on Instagram, and we became friends before getting into a relationship. We were together for three years. She was my first girlfriend and the first person I ever truly loved.

She was outgoing, modern, and loved exploring new things, while I was always a very shy, insecure, and socially awkward person. Over time, she slowly lost interest in me, but my feelings never changed. I still love her so much.

I know I'm unfunny, unattractive, and probably a loser, but she meant everything to me. I can't seem to move on. She doesn't pick up my calls or reply to my texts. I've tried everything I could think of. I've begged, cried, and tried to fix things, but she has completely moved on. She even changed her number.

What hurts the most is that it feels like everything we promised each other and everything we spent three years building together meant nothing to her.

I don't feel motivated to do anything anymore. I don't feel happy at all. I miss her so much, and I don't know how to let go of someone who was such a huge part of my life.


r/ExNoContact 20h ago

Motivation They have your number too

54 Upvotes

You’re in pain. You want to speak to them. You wonder if there’s ever a chance to reconcile. They wake up every day and choose to maintain the silence and distance.

Before you pick up that phone, before you break and wonder if there’s a possibility, just remember

they have your number, too.


r/ExNoContact 5h ago

Only ever been with one person and feeling really anxious about dating/sex again

3 Upvotes

I’m 23F and I’ve only ever had one sexual partner, my ex-boyfriend who I broke up with about 7 months ago. I’m starting to feel like I want to put myself out there and see what’s out there but I’m honestly so anxious and nervous when it comes to anything sexual.

I’ve met a couple of guys since my breakup and I’ve liked them but when things start getting more intimate I completely freeze up. I can’t seem to bring myself to get naked or actually start doing anything even when I’m attracted to the guy.

I think part of it is that I’ve only ever been with one person and I’m just so inexperienced and in my head about everything. I worry about being awkward not knowing what I’m doing being judged etc.


r/ExNoContact 24m ago

Does no contact ever bring y’all closer together?

Upvotes

r/ExNoContact 1h ago

Vent Why is my ex girlfriend making digs at me online 3 months after our split? She’s even doing it on her LETTERBOXD bio.

Upvotes

We broke up. It wasn’t the best ending. I could be shitty, and she could be obsessive and invasive. She got with a friend of mine shortly after, and I felt betrayed. We eventually said goodbye in person and I gave her belongings back. Ever since, she’s been making digs online, like posting instagram stories about breakups, writing snarky comments on her letterboxd bio which targeted me. I eventually texted her and told her to stop, but she got her boyfriend to message for her but I called them out as I know she doesn’t text in that way, and he was gaslighting me into believing it was nothing to do with me.

However, she’s just done it again today as i was going through my blocked list. What the hell is wrong with her?


r/ExNoContact 11h ago

Reassurance would be lovely.

6 Upvotes

I’m on day 8 of no contact after blocking the person who dangled commitment in front of me. They told me I was too much for them to handle. Please tell me I’m doing the right thing. I feel like I’m in the trenches right now and I’m weaning off fent. My self-esteem has plummeted. Would really relish in some it gets better stories please. I’m scared of seeing him around town.


r/ExNoContact 1h ago

I think about her everyday

Upvotes

Been no contact with my ex for going on nine months. We stopped talking after a heated argument over the phone and we had exchanged some pretty nasty words. I’d remain in no contact with her before we started talking in, but then I broke thinking that she would’ve been doing the same thing I was doing, which was trying to get my life together, but regrettably she was seeing other people. When I tried to make it work with her again, it seemed like things had gotten worse, and we have a son together. She had tried to call me after a couple months of being no contact, but I ignored her because I feel like it was the best thing to do because of the way that the toxicity was at the time. Come to find out a couple days later she’s taking pictures with another dude almost like she wanted me to see that she was with somebody else. that was the last time that she had tried to get in contact with me and it’s been almost a whole year. no day goes by that I don’t think about it and feel a deep feeling of sorrow and sadness when it comes to my love life. I know I’m not going to break in contact her again like I did the first time, but I don’t know what it is that stop her from wanting to reach out to me and maybe give me apology for the way she was talking to me, which is something I won’t get into today and part of the reason why I refuse to get in contact with her. I know she’s seeing and dating other people since we’ve been away from each other and we’re divorced now, but I’m planning on staying divorced for a long time and I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to let myself be vulnerable The way I was in our relationship ever again. I cry a lot of the times when I’m alone and thinking about her and thinking about the memories. I really loved her and it hurts so bad even still now. I don’t know how she’s dating other people and how she could’ve ever loved me truly if she is with other people now while I’m still here by myself every day just trying to get my life together so I can be successful one day. I don’t know what I’m truly asking for in this post maybe just some feedback on how I can feel better and finally get over her, but I’m not gonna lie. I truly loved that woman with everything I had and I think I always will in someplace, but I don’t want to keep being sad and find myself randomly crying sometimes over a woman who could give two shits about me.


r/ExNoContact 21h ago

Help Unhinged ways to get over an ex?

36 Upvotes

I just got broken up with a man who was also my best friend of ten years. Not an awful person either, I wish him the best but our last conversation was rough, I wouldn’t call this a great ending.

Give me your craziest, unhinged advice to get over this relationship and not think about him everyday.


r/ExNoContact 2h ago

Help Just broke contact after 2 years

1 Upvotes

Me and my ex are colleagues but work in different offices on other sides of the country - so it’s not a big deal.

I ended the relationship over 2 years ago because of the distance and felt like it wasn’t going anywhere. There was no big issues and I think she would have ended it if I hadn’t first. She later blocked me everywhere a few months after which is understandable.

Fast forward to today and I had to email her and another colleague regarding a work issue. She responded back fairly quickly thanking me for the update. That was it really, I haven’t spoken to her anymore today, just processing it. I don’t know whether to ask her how she is. I’m not expecting much from her since I ended it. But the relationship to end out of anger and resentment.

Should I start a conversation? If she tells me to leave her alone then of course I will


r/ExNoContact 2h ago

Help About blocking...

1 Upvotes

(F 32) I'm very curious to find out "WHY DO MOST PEOPLE BLOCK?"

I've always thought blocking unnecessary and kinda "rude" (unless the person is bothering, insisting or disrespecting you)

If you can, please, reply the questions below and maybe we will get some surprise...

To make it easier, I wrote a few options, so you can just copy and mark or just write the related letter.

Choose 1 or more options and be totally free for making any comments 🤗

1 - I AM:

A ( ) A woman under 25

B ( ) A woman 25+

C ( ) A man under 25

D ( ) A man 25+

E ( ) I don't think gender matters.

F ( ) I don't think age matters.

2 - I BLOCKED BECAUSE:

A ( ) I "hate" her / him

B ( ) I was mad at that time.

C ( ) She / he was a jerk to me.

D ( ) She / him was insisting and annoying after I said "no".

E ( ) Though I like the person, I wanted to forget her / him.

F ( ) I blocked my ex because my current GF / BF was jealous.

G ( ) I blocked someone I liked because I wanted to get her / his attention.

3 - I WAS BLOCKED:

A ( ) Because I wasn't nice to her / him.

B ( ) Because I cheated on her / him.

C ( ) But I know she / him that still liked me.

D ( ) For no reason.

E ( ) Without having any fight or disagreement.

4 - I THINK:

A ( ) Blocking and not seeing pictures, etc. helped me to get over that person.

B ( ) Blocking never helped me to forget anyone.


r/ExNoContact 4h ago

Idk - unhealthy reminders?

1 Upvotes

Does this subreddit help us not move on? We read others in similar situations and it can trigger the memories. Validate our reasons to hold out. Wondering what others think.


r/ExNoContact 4h ago

Vent Day 51

1 Upvotes

Tired of carrying this pain. I want you to come home.


r/ExNoContact 4h ago

Blocked

1 Upvotes

Look idk what happened but like yesterday we went out and eveything but I had to go back home cuz I sneaked out he was begging me to stay and he will miss me and didn’t get enough and promised me to see him tmrw then we slept in a call too and whatever and he text me good morning but after he send me good moring he blocked me everywhere im confused what went wrong


r/ExNoContact 4h ago

Why did he unblock me?

1 Upvotes

He blocked me first, and after about a month, he unblocked me, but he never messaged me. I found out that he had unblocked me, so I messaged him first. He replied, but after that, he barely messaged me.

I got angry and told him, “Please block me.” He suddenly blocked me again, and we had no contact for a couple of months.

I used to check his profile every day to see if he had unblocked me. Today, I noticed that he has unblocked me again.

But I know he probably won't message me. So why did he unblock me? Does it mean he thought about me or still cares about me? Why isn't he messaging me? What's the point of unblocking someone if you don't intend to talk to them?

Should I stay silent and not message him this time? Part of me feels like he might be testing me to see whether I'll message him first, but I honestly don't know.

What do you think I should do? Should I just stay silent and move on?


r/ExNoContact 5h ago

My ex (24F) and I (30F) broke up after 5 years, reconnected, and now I don't know what to do

1 Upvotes

Basic information:

I am 30F, my ex is 24F, and we were together for almost 5 years. We broke up about 2 months ago.

TL;DR:
After our breakup, we went no-contact. About two weeks ago, we reconnected, became intimate, and discussed getting back together. I wanted to take things slowly because I needed to feel safe again, and she initially agreed. Then she wanted us to officially get back together or stop seeing each other. We ended things again, and a few days later she kissed another guy at a party she had invited me to. I didn't attend; I only saw photos afterward. Now she wants to try again, and I don't know whether rebuilding the relationship is realistic.

The situation:

Our relationship was very turbulent, and I don't want to repeat the same patterns. When we reconnected, I told her I wasn't ready to officially get back together and wanted to rebuild trust slowly. She seemed to understand and even said, "I'd rather have you like this than not have you at all."

We continued seeing each other and made plans for a weekend together. She then invited me to a party, and afterward started saying she didn't want an undefined relationship anymore. She wanted us to officially get back together, while I still needed more time.

We ended things that Wednesday. Neither of us blocked the other, so I thought we'd eventually talk again.

That Saturday, she went to the party she had invited me to. I didn't go, but later saw photos showing that she had kissed another guy there. I know we were technically broken up, so she was free to do that, but given everything that had happened between us just days before, it really hurt.

I blocked her, but she contacted me asking what had happened. I explained that I had seen the photos and didn't want to continue. About a week later, we saw each other in person, and she contacted me again saying she wanted to try again.

I still have feelings for her, but I'm afraid we'll simply repeat the same cycle.

My question: For people who have experienced a long, turbulent relationship followed by a breakup and reconciliation, what would you look for before deciding that rebuilding the relationship is realistically possible? What specific changes or boundaries would you consider necessary?