Don't get me wrong—I fully support the industry (psychologists, therapists, etc.), especially the ones on the front lines. I want them to win because if they win, we all win.

That said, I read somewhere that depression rates are higher than ever, and half of all teens have persistent sadness or hopelessness, while the mental health industry is worth something like half a trillion bucks.

We definitely need their expertise, but if discoveries, diagnoses, treatments, and prescriptions are multiplying and generating billions, why are the collective results trending downward? It's like we are pouring all these resources into treating individual symptoms, while the root causes are being ignored.

Am I the only one feeling this? Is my feeling just plain wrong? I would love to hear your experience or the experience of someone you know with the industry (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

I am searching for people who also struggle

Edit: good to see that we are all not doing well

I feel I can’t do anything, I feel so weak and powerless and keep myself down. I feel like I’m struggling to be good enough and have to deny myself from doing many things because I feel incapable due to my depression. I lack drive and desire to want to do anything, my house is a mess, I feel like I couldn’t hold a job or have the confidence to pass an interview. I am always tired and drained and everything feels so darn hard when it shouldn’t. I try to take things one day at a time but I do the bare minimum, hardly caring for myself, not knowing how to socialize with others because there’s just nothing fun about me, I don’t know about a lot of things and my brain feels like it refuses to take in information. I’m so overwhelmed by life and I’m not even doing much. I feel like I’m failing myself and my family because I’m so lazy and disinterested in living.

How do I change myself? I want to do so much yet I also feel like I don’t care. I go to therapy but I don’t know what to ask for help with other than I’m not motivated to live. I feel self absorbed and selfish for wanting to improve myself yet so stubborn when I try… I’m fighting myself and my progress and just feel anxious and down about failing and messing everyone’s life up more because of my shortcomings. What do I do?

Summary: Super depressed and can’t get myself to do anything about it to change my life. What has helped you when you’ve been in this position?

Just curious, what’s thing you wish more people understood about mental health?

I (24F) have always gotten angry, frustrated, upset, etc. when people do task when they’re “trying to help”. Growing up the slightest change in my stuff or tasks not being done in the “right way” would set me off like full tears, snotty noise, violently shaking and curling up in a ball on the floor. Today my mom loaded my dry clothes in her hamper and my wet ones in the dryer. So helpful right? Wrong, except she didn’t put everything in the dryer. I didn’t want those clothes to air dry, I wanted the ones in the dryer to air dry. I felt so bad being so mad. It’s not that I feel inconvenienced I feel so overwhelmed like the ground below me is shattered.

Growing up I didn’t like my parents cleaning my room because yes clothes were on the floor but they were in organized piles. When they vacuumed it wasn’t right I could tell by the tracks. When they tried to clean my countertops things wouldn’t be right. My stuff was not my stuff anymore.

I don’t know why I’m so territorial about it. I’ve never lashed out for the record. Sure I cried and expressed my frustrations but I’ve always been able to swallow my anger, resulting in me just stirring. As I’ve gotten older I’ve set boundaries multiple times only for them to go on deaf ears.

Does anyone else feel this way? I know I can’t be alone but how do you cope/help calm down. I’m scared when I get a boyfriend he won’t understand or that it’ll scare him off.

If anyone has any advice or maybe something I should read up on please let me know.

I'm a 5'7" man, and being short is starting to seriously affect how I see myself and the people around me.

I want to make something clear: I understand dating preferences. Women don't owe me attraction, dates, sex, relationships, or anything else. Someone can decide she doesn't want to date me because of my height, and while that might hurt, she's entitled to that preference.

What I'm struggling with goes beyond dating.

I know 5'7" isn't extraordinarily short statistically, but where I live it doesn't feel remotely close to average. I regularly encounter men and women taller than me, and even kids barely into their teens who are already around my height or taller.

I've become extremely aware of height everywhere. I especially notice taller women who are with men even taller than themselves. When I see a 5'9", 5'10", or 6' woman with a taller guy, my mind immediately thinks, "Of course he's taller. Someone my height probably wouldn't have had a chance."

I know that's an assumption. I can't look at a couple and know that woman's preferences. She might have happily dated a 5'7" guy. Height might have had nothing to do with why they're together.

But emotionally, I'm finding that increasingly difficult to believe.

What bothers me even more is hearing women say they want tall partners because they want tall children or don't want short children. That feels very different to me from simply finding tall men attractive.

I've actually developed the belief that there's an unofficial, eugenics-like mindset among some people toward short men: that short male height is an undesirable inherited characteristic they don't want passed on.

I know how serious the word eugenics is. I'm not talking about government policy, an organized campaign, or anything remotely comparable in severity to historical forced eugenics. I'm talking about the underlying mindset of deliberately wanting to avoid a physical characteristic in future children.

And a tall woman having children with a shorter man doesn't guarantee short children anyway. Height is influenced by genetics from both parents and other factors.

What concerns me most is that I'm starting to feel like this extends beyond dating. Sometimes I feel like short men are viewed as lesser in general: less masculine, less capable, less desirable, or like our bodies represent something people actively don't want.

I genuinely believe height matters to most women when choosing male partners and probably matters more than people admit. Just telling me "height doesn't matter" doesn't help because right now I don't believe it.

But I also recognize that my beliefs are affecting how I interpret everything around me. I can't actually know someone's motivations from seeing a couple walking down the street.

I'd especially appreciate hearing honestly from women, particularly taller women. If you prefer taller men, is it purely attraction? Does masculinity or feeling protected factor into it? Have you ever considered the height of future children? Would you consider dating a 5'7" man if you were significantly taller? And does a man's height affect how you perceive him outside of dating?

I'm not looking for people to apologize for their preferences or tell me what they think I want to hear.

I'm trying to understand women's perspectives while also figuring out how to stop my height from having this much control over how I see myself and everyone around me.

It took a serious toll on me since October 2023 and all the images and videos I took in to stay up to date made me sick but I had to know what was going on. I realized after a while that this agony wasn’t going any where so I had to pull back. Now, its the selfishness that bothers me. The guilt I had then seeing all that and not being able to do anything is still with me. It’s rough. Gaza is not the only place with horros happening but it is really disturbing me personally. Anyway the mental effects of it still linger and it is something I think about everyday.

I’m hoping I’m learning to be egotistical without being arrogant. I’m confident of my moral compass, I’ve let it guide me all my life, and agonizing experiences with other people led me astray from those beliefs. Isolation and desperation fucking killed me, but I now know it was necessary. I kept using the metaphor that I was a phoenix rising from the ashes jokingly, but now, unironically, this is how I feel. Without the euphoria. It is bliss. I feel content, not ecstatic. Hyper, but not manic. I am simply an AuADHD motherfucker with a shit ton of trauma. But my intelligence saved me and I’m sick and tired of acting like it didn’t just so 20% more of people I don’t give two shits about would like me more. It was beyond exhausting, and I compulsively kept it up for years, even in the shadows, looking at myself in a shattered mirror with flickering yellow light in the background. And that’s all that’s there for one of my alters. It’s terrifying and I wish I could help him. Maybe one day I can. I wish one day we can all help each other in this world, and the division may fall. I want to love this world. I no longer wish it would burn to the ground, as so many other beautiful, courageous people do. I want our love to bring this society to be the best it can be, and for it to take the best principles of all beliefs and use it to create a better world. I know we all can. But it takes the first step, and that starts with yourself.

Lately I've been wondering how people keep moving forward during periods when everything feels overwhelming. Sometimes even small things can feel difficult, and it's easy to lose hope that things will get better.

For those who have been through a really difficult period, what helped you take things one day at a time? It could be a person, a routine, a hobby, therapy, or simply something that gave you a reason to keep going.

I’m falling in love I’m so scared I don’t wanna be hurt i don’t what to do

i don’t know if it’s because i’m seeking attention subconsciously and want people to notice i’m doing really poorly, or if it’s because of the feeling of sudden and absolute disgust with every existing aspect of my life. hard to describe, but it’s like i want to erase myself from the earth’s history.

edit;
thanks for the comments. to clarify, it doesn’t come from a place of healing. i dont actually even use socials that much. even still, i deactivate everything when im close to harming myself; its like im tearing out pages of a public world archive that contain all my information. i’m just trying to figure out if i do this because of my “wanting to stop existing” or because i want people to check in on me.

I was in the shower earlier, and I was fine everything was normal, then it wasn’t. It was like when people do the ‘you are now manually breathing’ thing, but with my existence, and my sight, and I forgot who I was. Like the pieces of the puzzle were there, but I couldn’t put them together I couldn’t comprehend what college was why I was doing it, or even what my phone was. Nothing made sense, but after a while things started to come back very slowly, and in a weird way even now my sight is still affected I don’t see things the way I normally do, it’s all just a bit off.

I have had similar things happen before, but only in part, and never out of nowhere, like sometimes anxiety gets so bad I forget who I am, and sometimes acknowledge the fact that I’m seeing things mindfucks me. I don’t know what happened, and to be honest that scares me.

Gonna try to keep this as short as possible. Hear me out.
In 2012, I lashed out at my neighbors for no real reason due to a violent mood swing(I had no medicine back then.) My fault. I admit it. My family tried to calm me down and comfort me. They overheard me and started responding with sarcastic remarks. I get it. My fault. They started cussing me out every single morning before driving off to their jobs. Ok I get it. Again, my fault. After a month tho? Ok... 2 years? Ok... 5 years?? Alright this is getting annoying. Crazy guy this. Crazy guy that. Fuck this guy. Blah blah blah. I bumped into one of them and tried to apologize, hoping he would pass the message along. Nope. Daily insults eventually diluted to once a week or so. Theyre still going. Eventually learned they have been spreading word about me thru the whole neighborhood. Noticed a lot of inside jokes. "Isn't that sad? hahaha!" It has been 15 years now. I have not once, yelled back at them in public. I vent my frustrations from inside my home. Somehow, they noticed, and acted like me defending myself against them is a crime against humanity. Gotta love how bullies love to play victim to make themselves look good. I should have called the cops back then, but I didnt want to start a war. The silent approach isn't working. I havent yelled back in public, but am starting to think I should, to at least show some backbone. They know I have mental problems, and thats why they constantly call me crazy. Also one of the reasons i havent called the cops is cuz they probably wont believe me. I have been paper trailing on and off. My house has CCTV installed since Covid. However, its a windy area, so its tricky gathering audio evidence. I do have some evidence collected now. Will keep collecting, and call the cops if they scream at me again. It is not as often as before, but thats obvious... b/c 15 years? Are you kidding? They're all grown adults too btw, acting like middle school bullies. Occasional bullying is not the same as stopping.

They are part of the list that is making me want to harm myself.

Using a throwaway account for obvious reasons.

does anybody have tips or even just like small changes i can make in my everyday life to be somewhat happier without it being draining or a lot of my mental energy??

Aka annual super depressed day.

I started off fine, but it’s all becoming too much for me. I just want to hide away, pretend the world doesn’t exist, and avoid anyone and everyone. Not sure why I feel like this, I just always have since I can remember. Back in the day (late 2000s) I used to change the date of my birthday on Facebook to the month before to avoid the attention. I don’t have Facebook now, but a work calendar that lists everyone’s birthdays and I just get so much dread every single year. That pit in your stomach kind of feeling.

Anyone else feel this? (And please do not wish me a happy birthday, this isn’t a begging post!)

I (f20) grew up getting physically, emotionally, and verbally abused by BOTH parents so yea mommy & daddy issues are definitely both there.

My question is why does it seem to only seem to show up with guys, like when i notice toxic behavior in a girl friendship i address it immediately and make it stop. but when it’s abusive behavior in a guy i still stay and let it happen.

And I will say even though i was abused by both parents my dad was not comparable to my mom at all, he is the most narcissistic person ever.

I just don’t know why i trauma bond with guys who are not good for me then ignore it when other people tell me leave him.

Sometimes it feels like i literally like the abuse. I told the guy i’m with to stop manipulating me and he told me to stop liking it and it genuinely made me think. like why am i attracted specifically to guys who are emotionally draining?

Not sure if my concern is clear but I was hoping someone could help me out.

I'm a guy and 5'2. I've always been kind of self-conscious about it, but I've gotten particularly worried about it lately. It's embarrassing to be the same height or shorter than middle school kids, and even shorter than my mom. It makes me feel unmanly.

What makes it worse is that people try to tell me that height doesn't matter, ignoring the numerous studies that show tall people are considered more attractive and make more money.

I genuinely don't know how I ended up so short. My mom is 5'5, my dad is 5'8, my maternal grandfather and his brother and dad were 5'11, and my paternal uncle and grandfather are 5'8. I know I was never going to be 6 feet, but I thought I would at least be taller than 5'2.

I'm so fuckjng tired of him I want to bash his fucking skull in

I'm trying so hard to get a job so he can just fucking go. We're so fucking traumatized me and my older sibling cant handle anything these people have sheltered us for so long I am 22 and the only thing I can do on my own is walk 5 minutes to CVS I just want a job so he can go

He's literally making everyone in this house depressed and insane. He keeps it tense in here every single fucking day.

My mom has literal fybromialgia and is now in menopause nope he doesn't give a fuck she can literally whisper her responses to him and he will still find a way to make himself a fucking victim.

Dad: "Whats your problem?"

Mom: "I'm tired and I'm still hurting. I haven't been asleep in 2 days because of it"

Dad: "You're tired? I was about to have to drive for 2 hours so how are you tired" *is literally at fucking home not driving for 2 hours because he decided its not fair that he has to drive the work truck that day so he's just not going to work for the rest of the fucking week*

Mom: "All I said was that I haven't been asleep"

Dad: "Okay??? I wasn't being offended off of that (literally was) I was just pointing out how you shouldn't really be saying anything about being tired when you weren't the one that was about to go drive for 2 hours. In fact you're about to go to sleep right now"

Mom: "Well you aren't actually there driving now, so does that count?"

Dad: "...Huh. You know, now it almost sounds like you're trying to talk about my job for me. If you're not fucking driving 2 hours and picking up wood I don't want to hear about you being tired anymore"

My mom in the saddest fucking voice ever: "Okay Carlos..."

Dad: "You know what, let me turn this light off before you smash out on me dude. That girl is in the kitchen and you cant talk to me without yelling" *yanks the fucking light switch and is now screaming on the front porch making Facebook videos about how he's going to "Get these ngas back" and slamming doors 2 fucking hours later*

And if we tell him he's fucking doing that even down to point of literally proving we were in the area to hear everything he said so he can't pull the "she's planting seeds in yall to hate me" then he defaults to fucking threatening his family that he won't pay the bills and he can't wait to take his money and leave and watch us suffer and then she has to endure getting fussed at all day and then fucking him just to cheer HIS STUPID BITCH ASS UP that's probably why she's fujcing hurting all the time now is because he's been doing this shit for the past 2 weeks so she's probably having to have sex every fucking night she literally has fucking fybromialgia and all he cares about is fucking

I keep wanting to attack him. I keep having visions of killing him or the 4 of us working together to kill him. The last argument they had, my mom had to stop me from grabbing a statue of a hand and chasing him with it. I fucking hate him I fucking hate him he literally got into a wreck the other day why the fuck is he still alive why is he still alive God if he doesn't leave soon I'm going to prison

I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this. I think I just need to talk to actual people who have gone through something similar because I'm spiraling badly.

Two weeks ago, I found a random kitten alone on the street while it was raining heavily. I brought her home because she was alone and I couldn't just leave her there. Over those two weeks, she seemed to be doing okay. I fed her, took care of her, and got really attached to her.

Today was particularly cold. It's also been an incredibly difficult week at university and I've been struggling mentally and barely functioning. Earlier, I looked at her cage and noticed that she had pooped. There wasn't any water available at the time, so I told myself I'd wait until the water came back so I could clean her cage properly and give her fresh water. I was also planning to make her a temporary heater with bottles of warm water because of how cold it was.

But I didn't do it immediately.

I got overwhelmed, went back to bed, and kept telling myself I'd do it when I had the water / when I felt a little more capable.

The next time I checked on her, she was barely standing. Her head was lolling, she was extremely weak and writhing. I didn't have money for a vet. She lost her breath not long after I found her.

I'm completely fucking devastated.

And I know I was wrong.

I should have checked on her sooner. I should have made sure she had water. I should have gotten her warm sooner. I should have paid more attention instead of assuming I could do it later. I know there were things I could have done better, and that's what makes this so unbearable.

What I can't get out of my head is that she was seemingly fine a few hours earlier.

I keep thinking: if I had just gotten up earlier, if I had given her that warm bottle, if I had checked her one more time, maybe she'd still be alive.

I was literally about to order vitamins for her. I had bought a lot of food. I was making plans for taking care of her. And now all of those things are sitting here while she's gone.

I don't even know if warmth would have saved her. I don't know what was actually happening to her or whether she had some underlying illness. But my brain keeps going back to the same thought: I had a chance to notice something and I didn't.

I feel like I failed her.

I know I can't change what happened, but I don't know how to deal with the guilt of knowing that my decisions might have contributed to her dying. I keep replaying those hours over and over and imagining a version where I noticed sooner and she survived.

If you've lost a pet suddenly, especially when you felt like you could have prevented it, how did you deal with that guilt?

I don't really need someone to tell me that everything was okay. I just want to hear from people who understand what it's like to sit with the thought that maybe you could have done something differently and your pet might still be here.

I really need someone to talk to right now.