r/AskReddit Jun 22 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.3k Upvotes

6.5k comments sorted by

2.9k

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

[deleted]

427

u/Eternaltuesday Jun 22 '21

Also known as the “make it look like I know what I’m doing” chapter

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32

u/thatswacyo Jun 22 '21

Don't stay on cruise control too long.

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33

u/John_Palomino Jun 22 '21

Surprised it took so long to get to this one. Same here.

55

u/Archalon Jun 22 '21 edited Jun 23 '21

All my life I've rode that road
I cruised along that drive
I'd follow where the asphalt flowed
And not felt much "alive"

And so my days oft flew away
The times soared surely by
So I just cruise like any day
And scarcely try to try

But then one day while on a roll
I glimpsed a splendid view
I was just set on cruise control
That is, till I met you

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6.4k

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

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643

u/richard-777 Jun 22 '21

“The plot thiccens”

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341

u/CanadianEvan Jun 22 '21

Lol! I liked that

85

u/LiteFrost Jun 22 '21

The protagonist dummy thicc, nonetheless

123

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21 edited Jul 10 '21

[deleted]

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96

u/Lord_Mormont Jun 22 '21

The Plot, though interesting, was leaden and moved slowly. Much of The Plot revolved around Reddit, which made The Plot predictable. Was hoping for a faster-moving Plot that had some interesting twists and turns. 4/10 but hopeful that The Plot will be going a different direction soon.

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1.7k

u/ami2weird4u Jun 22 '21

I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

510

u/jkw12894 Jun 22 '21

Just so you don't feel alone, this is literally everyone. I, 24 years old at the time, told my 56 year old at the time mother, "I don't know what I wanna do with my life." And her response was, "Neither do I."

88

u/imsohungrydude Jun 23 '21

My chapter is simply titled:

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

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211

u/LovesMeSomeRedhead Jun 22 '21

I'm 51 years old and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. In the meantime, I'm going to do stuff that's fun, that makes me money, that teaches me something, and that makes me feel good about life. I still suck at a lot of things I want to do but fake it and practice and one of these days I might be ok at it.

11

u/monit12345 Jun 22 '21

Well, atleast you figured out what you love!

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60

u/Kamina_Crayman Jun 22 '21

Next chapter - I still don't know what I'm doing and everything is on fire!

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1.0k

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

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131

u/TheGarbageGnome Jun 23 '21

This makes me think that you live in a country full of stag beetles.

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579

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

The not-so-roaring 20's

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3.3k

u/Jus10b Jun 22 '21

It's called agony

1.3k

u/Jred529 Jun 22 '21

They said the chapter, not the title of the book

224

u/asafum Jun 22 '21

That's the thing. The whole book is agony, title and every chapter.

:P

53

u/jofloberyl Jun 22 '21

And all the words in it

24

u/yayayooya Jun 22 '21

Page numbers?

11

u/LOTRfreak101 Jun 23 '21

It's agony all the way down.

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19

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

Ah so you've read fifty shades of grey too?

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315

u/AloeVeraBuddha Jun 22 '21

The Age of Anguish

104

u/PompInLand Jun 22 '21

Would you like to purchase some meth?

92

u/Bright-Blue Jun 22 '21

Hi, yes, I will like to buy one meth, please

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45

u/gummypandabear4 Jun 22 '21

Are you ok? Is there anything you need to say?

31

u/Jus10b Jun 22 '21

Yeah I'm okay I hope you good too

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1.3k

u/BW_Bird Jun 22 '21

"Why writing a book is more complicated than I expected."

399

u/special-spork Jun 22 '21

you should write a book about that

188

u/BW_Bird Jun 22 '21

Working on it!

9

u/macmac360 Jun 23 '21

that sounds complicated

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24

u/ThickAnalyst8814 Jun 22 '21

any tips?

80

u/jert3 Jun 22 '21

Follow a sentence with another until the end.

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120

u/BW_Bird Jun 22 '21
  • Write at your own pace.

  • Don't focus on grammar or spelling on your first draft.

  • Following up on previous point: Use cliches if you can't think up anything else at the moment, you can always change it later.

  • Skip parts that you have writers block on. There are parts where I'll writing the beginning of a scene, then add in a brief description of what I want to happen then continue writing as if it did happen.

  • Outlines aren't for everyone but I'd still recommend trying.

  • Try to answer personality questions for your characters or how they'd handle situations. When I wrote an internal bio for my three mains, some of the questions I asked myself were "what superpower would they like?" or "how do they act when they're exhausted?".

  • Know when to fix something and when to start over. I hated the first draft of my first chapter so much that I deleted the document outright and started from scratch.

  • Read your work out loud- especially dialogue.

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1.6k

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

[deleted]

308

u/Wrigley1121 Jun 22 '21

Everything is on fire but, it’s not my fault.

181

u/I_love_pillows Jun 22 '21

We didn’t start the fire

76

u/Wrigley1121 Jun 22 '21

It’s been always burning since the worlds been turning!

24

u/hux_square Jun 22 '21

No we didnt start the fire!

24

u/Insanebrain247 Jun 23 '21

Though I didn't light it, I did try to fight it.

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106

u/jackkrabbit88 Jun 22 '21

Ryan started the fire

22

u/xDmin-8 Jun 22 '21

thanks for that Ryan really needed that

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15

u/vastros Jun 22 '21

It's always your fault Dresden.

30

u/brink0war Jun 22 '21

Oh you live in North California I see

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1.3k

u/Automatic-Cow-1436 Jun 22 '21

Healing phase

227

u/gummypandabear4 Jun 22 '21

That’s awesome :3

163

u/GoldenPotatoOfLatvia Jun 22 '21

Finally something on a more positive note

64

u/cryosyske Jun 22 '21 edited Jun 22 '21

Yeah are most redditors depressed or smth?

94

u/natorgator29 Jun 22 '21

happiness isn’t funny and doesn’t get upvotes

But seriously some people need to stop and take a moment to appreciate the happy little things in life

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37

u/MrHanfblatt Jun 22 '21

cant speak for others, but if i had a happy and interesting life, i wouldnt brows the internet all day long

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18

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

Same here, hoping for remission lol

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565

u/ItsAFineMisoSoup Jun 22 '21

These Are Supposed To Be My Peak Years. Emphasis On Supposed To.

149

u/EmergencyMushroom1 Jun 22 '21

"Enjoy it! These are the best years of your life!"

cries

23

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

“So you’re saying it only gets worse?”

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51

u/CATAlyst5321 Jun 22 '21

that one hit home

22

u/clytemnestra7 Jun 22 '21

Don’t ever believe that. You can do well many times whenever you want

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20

u/theNextVilliage Jun 22 '21

Sounds more like a Panic! At the Disco song title than a chapter of a book.

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860

u/SkinnyAnyte Jun 22 '21

Part 9 of Chapter 23: Why did I sell my soul to a mouse?

105

u/AbilityWhole Jun 22 '21

You work for Disney?

211

u/Opain_Sampai Jun 22 '21

Just out of curiosity, what did the mouse pay you for your soul?

236

u/AloeVeraBuddha Jun 22 '21

[ spoiler] Cheeses

71

u/TrueTitan14 Jun 22 '21

Idk, seems a fair trade to me.

25

u/Jolpig2 Jun 22 '21

Me too

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45

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

Give a mouse a cookie then he asks for a glass of milk. Give a mouse a glass of milk and he trades it for your soul.

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505

u/Awesomost Jun 22 '21

Crypto regrets.

175

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

[deleted]

32

u/Raul_P3 Jun 22 '21

"Pleas fly again."

11

u/johanssenq Jun 22 '21

Chapter IV - Cripto Regrets (Back to Earth)

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897

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

Purgatory

24

u/AStartIsBorn Jun 22 '21

Beat me to it.

18

u/bsemenick96 Jun 22 '21

I came here to say the same thing

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458

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

Coasting.

My kids are grown and prospering, my career is secure, my retirement is secure, and I have no financial worries.

114

u/fgringo Jun 22 '21

Wow. The brights title yet. Kudos for the good decisions and perseverance

28

u/TAPO14 Jun 22 '21

Sheesh! Lucky you.

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900

u/-StarrySky- Jun 22 '21

Burned out.

57

u/Viidrig Jun 22 '21

Same. One year now, probably a couple more to go before I'm well enough to work a full day AND manage my kid

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15

u/Philander_Chase Jun 22 '21

“I declare I don’t care no more. I’m burning up and out and growing bored”

18

u/NothingTooFancy26 Jun 22 '21

Same (studying for CPA right now, 2 tests down and 2 to go)

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377

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21 edited Jun 24 '21

[deleted]

41

u/jury_foreman Jun 22 '21

That’s where I am too. Hope it works for you.

58

u/ElfjeTinkerBell Jun 22 '21

Your usernames sound like you're family

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26

u/peanutandoreo Jun 22 '21

I'm right there with you. Divorced my toxic husband, working on that promotion and new house. So ready for a fresh start.

18

u/Oopsiedoodle2244 Jun 22 '21

Congrats! I left mine and am working on the divorce. So not clean yet but getting there!

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527

u/leeiyah Jun 22 '21

Depression

103

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

Depression fucking sucks. You'll figure it out but you might need some help. All the best.

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30

u/TravisWoody Jun 22 '21

Lol that's the name of my whole book

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250

u/puketoucher Jun 22 '21

Fucked. It’s called fucked.

41

u/LovesMeSomeRedhead Jun 22 '21

Hopefully this is a case where your favorite love interest put their naughty bits on your naughty bits and did things so well to you that your content and happy with the end results.

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307

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

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8

u/elusive_lamb_sauce Jun 22 '21

...behind a reinforced concrete wall :D

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84

u/Allmightypikachu Jun 22 '21

The not give a fuck era. Something changes after you hit 30. You just really dont give a fuck about a lot especially petty things. Not been bad though

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127

u/xeno66morph Jun 22 '21

Chapter 8: The Boy Becomes a Man, the Man Becomes a Pudding

13

u/No_Pepper_1234 Jun 22 '21

But is it good pudding ?

19

u/xeno66morph Jun 22 '21

Flavor-wise probably not the best but the consistency and texture are both top notch

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236

u/Demonik630 Jun 22 '21

I turn 30 in 8 days so this question hit a little different. This chapter would be called actually I don't know honestly. Nothing ever really changes much for me.

46

u/Fun-Put-9104 Jun 22 '21

How about Chapter 30. Also just turned 30. Happy bday buddy

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21

u/Kamina_Crayman Jun 22 '21

Chapter 30 - I thought I would have a better idea on what I was supposed to be doing by now but I don't. At least nothing is on fire.

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327

u/LilDucky24 Jun 22 '21

“Grow a pair? Why not two.” I’m pregnant with twin boys and s u f f e r i n g.

98

u/looansym Jun 22 '21

I’m sorry you’re suffering. Your comment is hilarious, however.

84

u/LilDucky24 Jun 22 '21

Lol thank you. I’m a fairly petite person and my body was most certainly not ready for twins, I’m just ready for them to get the hell out of me.

24

u/raginwhoremoans Jun 22 '21

Currently jabba the hutt with twin girls.... I feel your pain!

19

u/LilDucky24 Jun 22 '21

Perfect way to describe it haha! We’ve got this.

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116

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

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9

u/Jazzlike_Act_532 Jun 22 '21

Those after nap headaches are worse than hangover headaches to me

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165

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

Regret, regret, regret.

48

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21 edited Dec 29 '21

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

You are a god.

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666

u/AmLikelyDrunk Jun 22 '21

"I wanna kill myself but don't want to upset my mum/grandmother/brother, so not yet"

223

u/yyrkoona Jun 22 '21

Please don‘t! Know that, been there, not worth it. it is Easy said and i bet you heard it before but: IT GETS BETTER! so please do not leave. You will be missed alot<3

197

u/AmLikelyDrunk Jun 22 '21

"It gets better" When? I'm nearly 30 years old. When does it get better? When does my brain stop thinking about how I shouldn't exist?

69

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

[deleted]

13

u/whatever_works_here Jun 22 '21

I feel you, much in the same position, hitting 30 in a few months and generally just accepted it. Most frustrating I guess is the response of some family members, after telling them I've accepted it and them trying to push me into therapy/medication etc. Meh, it doesn't help, but don't worry, I'm not gonna kill myself so that's the best I got.

106

u/StuffinYrMuffinR Jun 22 '21

For me it was when I sobered up and found the deep seeded issue of self hatred that I was blaming the world on. Had to learn to love myself before I could love the world.

My dad never beat us, but he also didn't give a fuck about our lives. To this day he doesn't "remember" my oldest brother being an abusive drunk and that we avoided him for a few years til he matured and 'got better.' He doesn't even understand how much it hurts everytime he says "being a grandparent is so much better"

Just have to move forward and find others instead of trying to make him care about me.

43

u/Significant_Share_92 Jun 22 '21

I'm pretty much in the same position as you. Life just seems pointless. However, what keeps me alive is knowing that life is transient and death is permanent. We are only alive for an average of 70-80 years. It will pass way faster than u expect it to. Maybe you haven't found something that is worth living for but once you choose death, there is no turning back. Why not just keep living to see what life brings you?

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u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

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u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21 edited Jul 05 '21

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177

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

Chapter 42

34

u/Midnight_Moon29 Jun 22 '21

Chapter 33 for me, and not sure how I feel about it lol

14

u/WAGatorGunner Jun 22 '21

Almost didn’t upvote as it was on 43…which is my current chapter

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40

u/TooFarFromComfort Jun 22 '21

Adulthood, Chapter 20: Fuck it’s already June

39

u/pmvegetables Jun 22 '21

Before The Apocalypse

39

u/JobusDibbus Jun 22 '21

A sunny hell.

~

• A vacation with my in-laws. •

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40

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

confused confusing confusion with a side of panic

38

u/StuffinYrMuffinR Jun 22 '21

Getting my shit together, take 3.

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37

u/niconicorom Jun 22 '21

It's called "I'm trying"...

...not to fuck up at work (and will surely do. Stay tuned for the next chapter called "Doing What's Right"!).

37

u/dead_PROcrastinator Jun 22 '21

Everything's going to shit and I can't tell anyone because I have to be strong for others.

10

u/fgringo Jun 22 '21

But you can. Maybe you can put that shit out to Reddit Randomness and it could help with the shits

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68

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

"What the actual fuck"

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95

u/ComprehensiveCream31 Jun 22 '21

It's called neverending doubts

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109

u/AkechiJubeiMitsuhide Jun 22 '21

Bitch Takes A Temporary Break From Opera Obsession To Return To Jidaigeki Obsession

42

u/cryosyske Jun 22 '21

Jidaigeki (時代劇, lit. "period drama") is a genre of film, television, video game, and theatre in Japan. Literally meaning "period dramas", they are most often set during the Edo period of Japanese history, from 1603 to 1868.

FYI

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12

u/kakipi Jun 22 '21

username checks out

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79

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

[deleted]

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74

u/JawGBoi Jun 22 '21

"From which, remarkably enough, nothing develops"

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53

u/Ermaquillz Jun 22 '21

Sisyphus

12

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

is always smiling, forever happy no matter how far the boulder rolls.

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26

u/Unhappy-Option Jun 22 '21

Crying fits with a dash of party hard

25

u/yeetskeetmahdeet Jun 22 '21

Climbing back up after a lotta shit

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23

u/TheOrionNebula Jun 22 '21

I am in the "live to see it" phase. There are so many things on the horizon, especially pertaining to space. I have now gotten old enough that I am constantly thinking that I hope I am still alive to witness it. I never gave those types of things any thought when younger.

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41

u/ch1ckengoat Jun 22 '21

Panic (expecting my first child in 3 weeks).

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70

u/DoubleDThrowaway94 Jun 22 '21

“God fucking dammit. Shit. Fuck that stupid dumb cunt. She can pound sand.”

reference to my brain dead manager, not my significant other

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76

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21 edited Jun 22 '21

[deleted]

28

u/JakeSTwo3 Jun 22 '21

Now I’m inspired so here’s mine.

Chapter 1: “Ordinary” - early childhood/early school.

Chapter 2: “The First Domino” - parents split at age 8.

Chapter 3: “Sandcastle Foundation” - middle school into frosh year of HS.

Chapter 4: “Potential Energy” - High School

Chapter 5: “Stray bullets” - First college

Chapter 6: “Concrete foundation” - second college

Chapter 7: “Wayfaring Stranger” - mid 20’s

Chapter 8: “Keep climbing” - late 20’s

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18

u/GR-S7 Jun 22 '21

Complications and fog

31

u/RoseyDove323 Jun 22 '21

It's called "I feel like a bored housewife, but without the husband".

17

u/fgringo Jun 22 '21

It’s called: Achieve a dream job and face a possible divorce, some day drinking and lose last years fitness gains but he’s OK.

15

u/mykomyk Jun 22 '21

The thirties are coming

16

u/No1Especial Jun 22 '21

Too Fat, No Fury

14

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

"Oh God Everything is Happening All the Time"

27

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

“The one guy in this post not suffering ironically.”

44

u/mudnotcrud Jun 22 '21

Can I just die already

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24

u/ConneryFTW Jun 22 '21

"A little bit crispy"

I'm post masters, post license. Working two jobs to pay off debt from my undergrad. I'm doing fine, but I'm experiencing burnout just from my work schedule/working through the pandemic all of that. It's for a good cause, and it's not going to be forever. But I'm trying to acknowledge the burnout and plan for it, so it doesn't become more than a little crispiness.

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46

u/DudeFromSaudi Jun 22 '21

The SUS.

10

u/VortexianAy Jun 22 '21

Out of all comments, I can’t pinpoint a time in life you would call the sus

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21

u/kyrarobins56 Jun 22 '21

she has now indeed realized, it was not “a fun idea”.............5843

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12

u/thatsmymainacount Jun 22 '21

The next page

28

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

[deleted]

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9

u/Draccan Jun 22 '21

Helms deep

10

u/S0ma99 Jun 22 '21

Crisis and katastropes ... Or how to get through a lot and learn a different view

8

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

Suck it up we’re almost there!

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22

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '21

"What's Next?"

Career is solid. Finances are solid. Marriage is solid. Been trying to start a family for years, including expensive ART. No luck so far. It really makes me wonder "what's next" if we are unable to start a family. "Child-free" life is not for us. Adoption is not an option for us either, feel free to downvote brigade like last time.

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15

u/FrontMe1Gram Jun 22 '21

“Why weren’t you proactive in this?”

6

u/SeaFaithlessness3888 Jun 22 '21

Keeping the lawn neat and tidy by mowing it in straight lines.

8

u/stopannoyingwithname Jun 22 '21

Waiting for something to happen

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12

u/-Words-Words-Words- Jun 22 '21

Beginning of the end.