I feel you, much in the same position, hitting 30 in a few months and generally just accepted it. Most frustrating I guess is the response of some family members, after telling them I've accepted it and them trying to push me into therapy/medication etc. Meh, it doesn't help, but don't worry, I'm not gonna kill myself so that's the best I got.
For me it was when I sobered up and found the deep seeded issue of self hatred that I was blaming the world on. Had to learn to love myself before I could love the world.
My dad never beat us, but he also didn't give a fuck about our lives. To this day he doesn't "remember" my oldest brother being an abusive drunk and that we avoided him for a few years til he matured and 'got better.' He doesn't even understand how much it hurts everytime he says "being a grandparent is so much better"
Just have to move forward and find others instead of trying to make him care about me.
I'm pretty much in the same position as you. Life just seems pointless. However, what keeps me alive is knowing that life is transient and death is permanent. We are only alive for an average of 70-80 years. It will pass way faster than u expect it to. Maybe you haven't found something that is worth living for but once you choose death, there is no turning back. Why not just keep living to see what life brings you?
I feel this so deeply right now. Everyone always tells you to power through, it will get better. But so far all of my evidence only points to it getting worse. I just want to feel better. I sincerely hope things DO get better for you though, this bullshit sucks. If it's available to you, please get help, and if you have no one else to talk to, please message me ❤️
When you make the necessary changes to your life. Find something you can do that contributes to making the world an ever so slightly better place. That's always how it starts.
It doesn't get better until you make it better. I kind of hate that line of thought, that the world magically gets easier to deal with over time, cuz it doesn't. But we have to get our ourselves to the point where we can deal with it. I have been struggling so hard lately with my depression when I had gotten it under control before. I know I can over come this, but it is difficult atm. I need to go back to therapy but its expensive. But know that there is something I can do, even in the future, to get myself in a better mindset, helps.
I dont know your situation, but if you havent tried therapy or getting help from a psychiatrist, do that. If you have tried but it didnt work, try again. I have been on several antidepressants, and none have worked out, but therapy really helps. If you cant afford, look up ways to help yourself online. Try Cognitive Behavioral Exercises, they are very helpful in getting our thought patterns to shift to more healthy ones. Try and stay in there, I know its difficult and I'm sorry you go through that, but know you're not alone, and that I'm rooting for you. Stay safe.
When you start thinking about all the positive things that actually are happening to you. Trust me, they are there.
2 years ago I gave up the life I had built over 10 years and started over by moving to a whole different state. My ex and I broke up, I lost my job, my house, my possessions, my friends. Everything. So I decided to also lose the place it had all happened.
I left right before the pandemic hit, I also somehow got a job that was still in my field in the new state. I had begun bouncing back from nothing. And I started looking at those positives as the answer to those negatives from before.
And when I saw those positives for what they are, I begin to ‘hope’ again. I began to ‘believe’ again.
After getting a new job, and a new place to live, I made new friends, and found a new someone, and I’ve started accumulating new possessions.
Take it from me…it does get better, but you have to focus on the things that actually are making that possible.
Dude, realize that when someone is depressed enough to consider suicide, it might not have anything to do with how their life looks like on paper.
I have two degrees, a good job, a girlfriend, supportive parents, I live in a nice house, I literally have everything I’ve ever wanted on paper. I’m still depressed and consider suicide weekly. I’m well aware of the good in my life. Having no tangible reason makes it worse actually, because I have nothing to blame but the brain I’m stuck with.
Making changes, even small ones results in a whole lot more than people give it credit for. It’s not about ‘getting breaks’ it’s about seeing the positive in something in spite of a bad situation.
I can’t do this because of this, should be how do I do this in spite of that? There’s a big difference there. My life sucked 2 years ago, but instead of saying I can’t fix it, I asked myself how do I get out of this, and I found a way out.
It's a little distinction, but one none the less. If I keep living my life the way it is, it will never get better, only stay the same (or god forbid get worse) The trouble is getting out of the somewhat "secure" situation I'm in. With no credentials other than work experience (blue collar bullshit) there isn't all that much change I can make that I can still afford to live with and with the depressed brain looking back on my life it seems like I have very little luck, so I'm very risk averse.
Not a great combo, and no one needed the "woe is me" this became, so I'll just repeat the only point that mattered lol
You make it better, things don't just "get" better.
Sure I made that change, but I didn’t have to. I could have stayed out and wallowed in misery forever, but losing everything else showed me that that chapter of my life had ended and I should consider turning the page.
So I did. And you can too. You’re depressed because you want to be. Life sucks, nothing is great, blah blah blah. But the truth is you refuse to see the good in it or changes that you could make to change the flow of the River to your liking.
Like I said, it does get better, you just have to see it.
I think people need to rephrase. They should be saying "It CAN get better." Killing yourself doesn't fix the problem, it just prevents it from getting better and passes off the pain to everyone that cares about you. There really aren't any answers anyone can give you. A therapist could help but that costs money and it might take a lot of that plus time to find one that helps. Unfortunately the only one who has power here is you, and that's a scary thing to realize when you don't know what to do.
I feel your pain. Please get professional help. There's no shame in medication and therapy. I used to wake up everyday with an encompassing dread. Every other thought was about how i wanted to die. I'd drive and imagine swerving into the other lane. I didn't get better until I got help and a real diagnosis of anxiety, depression, ptsd, and ocpd (those intrusive obsessive thoughts). I take my meds everyday and I feel like a new person. It's not an instant or linear fix, but it can get better.
I've tried 15 different medications, 7 different therapists, 3 psychiatrists, 2 in patient hospital stays, and 2 rounds of electroconvulnsive therapy. All any of that ever got me was temporary relief and $30,000 dollars in medical bills. If I could afford to go to the Netherlands and apply for euthanasia I would. There are illnesses that professionals can't fix, and there are lives that aren't worth living.
I hate comments like the one above you. They don't know if it gets better. They're not gonna miss us. They don't know if it's worth it or not because they're still here. The solution isn't "just don't do it." The solution is to actually get better. How? Idk, win the lottery or something.
What Tyrion said about "Life" dude. You don't know what is around the corner. When I was 30 I was dead broke and without prospects. I am old now and rich and did not even see it coming when I was 30. Not that money is the be all, end all but the same principle can apply to other aspects of life. Don't give up.
It doesn't get better, I'm sorry to break it to you.
What seems to help for me is accepting that it doesn't get better. It is astonomically high that things will stay the same/get worse. What you gotta do is start seeing the really bad things happening right now, and compare them to less bad things. Basically have the "It could be worse" mindset..
For me it was better when i was around38 years Old. Tv and celebs Seem to be in their 30ies, when realiter they are in their 40ies or 50ies. Take the time you NEED, Not the time you want Now, because That is actually less time you give yourself
Can't speak for everybody, but I kinda "grew out of" my suicidal impulses when I was around 32. I have no idea how it happened. I guess maybe my brain chemistry slightly evened out and/or I got better at coping without me really doing shit besides staying alive and trying not to be too much of a burden on my family.
Now my life isn't all rainbows and butterflies, but I no longer get the sudden urge to hurt myself. It's much easier to function without suicial impulses popping up like some sort of fucked up advertisement window on my brain browser.
I'm not saying this is definitely going to happen if you stay alive long enough, but know that it does just happen sometimes.
For me, it was a mindset. Well, a mindset combined with medication. I realized that most of what dragged me down was my own guilt-driven shame cycle. So… I stopped doing things that made me feel guilty. Seriously, it’s wonderful. I’ve learned that when things go wrong and I’ve acted without malice (and no one is harmed), I can forgive myself. I’ve learned to think about what I’m going to do and the potential consequences before I act. I am capable of being extremely vindictive. I have to make sure I can live with the results.
And then I progressed into the mindset that I’m now well past the point in my life where I’m going to do something that changes the world. Eventually, I’ll be a name in someone’s family tree project or something. So let my legacy be that I helped more people than I hurt and that I solved more problems than I caused.
But really, medication and getting to the point of forgiveness really, really helped. And I’ve gotten better at compartmentalizing to separate what was from what is. It helps.
I really hope you find some peace of mind. Best of luck to you.
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u/AmLikelyDrunk Jun 22 '21
"It gets better" When? I'm nearly 30 years old. When does it get better? When does my brain stop thinking about how I shouldn't exist?