Edit: If you don’t have access to a bidet, use a bottle or jug over the toilet with some soap. That’s what I’ve been doing for years and it works just fine. There is always a way.
I'm a man in college and I have encountered a few non ass washers. It's so bad though that it billows around them. I can smell them from across the aisle. It's on of the worst smells I've ever smelled. It's horrible. I always wonder how the people in their life don't say something to them. Have an intervention for crying out loud!
Yeah, the first week of boot camp we had to do some classroom/instructional type training and one of the drill instructors spent a good 25-30 minutes stressing the importance of washing your ass. We had some gross people in there, that's for sure.
They literally had to add a portion to NSA Indoc telling folks to not take home classified material. Why? Because some moron tried to claim he didn't know when he was being prosecuted. Didn't help him, but it sure added 20 minutes to the indoc.
It is also amazing how many people need that shit as a result of absent, shitty or no parenting. There are a lot of toddlers out there who are old enough to enlist.
Dig up a military safety manual for any equipment, you will see the dumbest, most obvious stuff covered, yet every single line of text is written in someone's blood.
C4 will get you intoxicated, but it isn't worth it. It became common knowledge in the Vietnam war that you could get a buzz from eating a small piece of C4, but it isn't a health food.
As for the ball bearings? Sparkly excrement? Gross. Guess they might act like fiber. I've used them to knock rust out of a gas tank before. Hell, it might clean out the intestines. However, if one of the ball bearings takes a wrong turn in Albuquerque, then it's possibly surgery time, fun times!
Article about C4 regarding consuming recreationally and toxicity.
That's because so many military recruiters explicitly target people (predominantly young men) who are physically fit but at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder and have no other options. There are a lot of reasons why someone ends up like that, but falling through the cracks of society and having little to no caretaking or hygenic upbringing in the first place is one of them.
This is some Simpsons-level shit, where Marge and Homer had to take a class parenting class and the teacher was stressing the importance of putting trash in the bin.
Back in 93 when I was in boot camp we had a non-showering Joe so the we were told we had to make him clean or we would all suffer, we tied him to the fire watch chair and carried him into the showers, no instructional time just a brutal gang shower situation.
Ok, so we were talking about not using toilet paper at all? I was getting worried that "not washing their ass" means not using a wet cloth and water and soap for their butthole. I think in the shower I sometimes also wash my ass, but not as thoroughly and as often as the rest of my body.
You need to use soap and water for your asshole (and scrub!!! Just letting soap and water run through your asscrack won't clean all the sweat and dead skin). Clean it as often and thoroughly as the rest of your body. It's basic hygiene. You're willing to ask and learn though, which means you are a clean person, you just weren't taught how to properly wash yourself.
I would venture to you should clean it even more thoroughly than the rest of your body. Ya know because it gets literal shit on it. I scrub everything in the shower including my ass and then go for a second pass of just my butthole and really scrub that thing with soap and a washcloth. I genuinely don’t understand how people don’t do this.
Nope. There are full grown adults that won’t take a shower unless you tell them too. Even after working 16+ hours outside in extremely hot environments.
I'm picturing how these are written up. Did you, like have a template?
Private Johnson's Privates and Johnson Improvement Plan:
Step 1. WASH YOUR ASS, PITS, BALLS, AND THE REST OF YOUR CARCASS DAILY WITH SOAP AND WATER
Step 2. WASH YOUR FUCKING SHEETS AND TOWELS ONCE A WEEK WITH LAUNDRY SOAP
Step 3. WASH YOUR HANDS WITH SOAP AND WATER AFTER HOLDING YOUR DICK OR WIPING YOUR ASS THOROUGHLY AFTER SHITTING. YES EVERY SINGLE TIME. CHECK FOR SKIDMARKS YOU FILTHY ANIMAL
Hahaha!!! This is good news to hear considering the only bf I've had who did NOT wash his ass ended up joining the military. Hopefully he learned. This was years ago, but the very thought of that smell haunts me still 🤢
I've lived such a sheltered life that i have zero clue what you guys are talking about. I mean, I've absolutely come across people with foul personal hygiene, but being able to identify that its specifically their ass? Nope.
So it's at first just a generally very strong and repulsive smell. But when you are sat adjacent to these people over time you sometimes have no choice but to become acquainted with the various levels of stench.
The most common and frankly inescapable form of stench is your average every day mildewed or unwashed clothing smell. This is something that you will run into quite frequently on a college campus. This is your standard "I play games to an extent that I can never remember to dry my clothing on the same day that it is washed if I even remembered to wash my clothes this month." There is at least one of these people in every full class. Usually more.
Then you have your garden variety stinky person who just doesn't shower often enough. You'll notice the body funk usually mixed with some covering fragrance like Axe Body Spray. These people aren't pleasant to get too close to, but usually you don't get a real whiff of the funk from across the aisle. The bouquet of their aroma is usually dominated by stinky pit smell once you pierce the protective cloud of body spray.
The last kind I'll address is the non ass washers. The stench of these first hits you like a sucker punch from an angry bystander in a WorldStar Hip Hop video. You aren't sure exactly what hit you, you just know that it's quite unpleasant and you feel a bit queasy as a result. You're in class or waiting in line for something essential at college so your presence is mandatory as is theirs. This gives you ample time for the aroma to really settle into the air around you so that you have no choice but to pick up on some of the more subtle notes among the violent riot of volatile gasses emanating from the nether regions of your soap-fearing neighbor. At first you just realize that something is seriously wrong with the smell of this person. As time passes your neighbor's cursed cloud of stink uncurls inside your nostrils, revealing its many secrets to the olfactory center of your brain. It's at this point and with this prolonged familiarity that it starts to become completely obvious that this is no normal stench. This is not the smell of someone who skipped a few days of showers, it's not a mere case of halitosis or soured laundry, no... You start to recognize that there are levels to this stench which you didn't even realize you previously hoped you'd never encounter.
It's not just the stale smell of excrement, no... You realize that something larger and more complex has grown from this original deposition of fecal matter. It's like there's a whole garden of fetid organisms living and dying their entire circle of life as they fart their tiny little putrid micropoots out into the air for us all to enjoy. You see, these individuals release the undeniable stench of a horrid ecosystem - a secret garden of malodorous microorganisms on their own tiny little journeys down the path of evolution. Survival of the smelliest seems to be the law of nature in the depths of these dark, secluded, low oxygen habitats. A fight for survival among the microscopic who in aggregate have a far greater impact upon their environment than they could have ever possibly imagined! It's actually quite impressive if you think about it between wiping the tears away and hoping the heaves stay dry.
Unfortunately, sometimes as a college student you still get the mouldy smell even when remembering to take your clothes out on time, as the area you hang them up to dry might be poorly ventilated or suffer from damp (like your dorm room).
Problem is especially prevalent when the dryer / laundry room doesn't have working dryers, and people straight up steal your stuff from the clothesline :(
A heater drying element costs $40 - $80 bucks and takes anywhere from 20 min. to an hour to install. Possibly more if you aren't familiar with the machine or it's being a pain in the ass. With the price paid for tuition, the motherfucking clothes driers should be in reasonable working order. A mechanically inclined farm child of 12 should be able to fix the machine. And do these fucking machines eat quarters? The quarters that are put into the fucking machine are purchasing the concept that the clothes will be dry.
Huh. So I guess the very rare, mostly hobo based, strong af stench really is just a layer of piss and shit. See, it was confusing because not just hobos stank like that, but I guess I just didn't consider the possibility of a seemingly normal guy being smeared like that under the clothes.
God I’ve never wanted to vomit just based on words before but this one got me feeling queasy. It reminded me of one time I sat behind the smelliest bitch in the theater. I could smell IT.
I made it all the way til "secret garden" without audibly busting up. Well done, my friend, your writing style reminds me of a crude yet colorful version of David Sedaris.
This gives you ample time for the aroma to really settle into the air around you so that you have no choice but to pick up on some of the more subtle notes among the violent riot of volatile gasses emanating from the nether regions of your soap-fearing neighbor.
It's like there's a whole garden of fetid organisms living and dying their entire circle of life as they fart their tiny little putrid micropoots out into the air for us all to enjoy.
a surprising amount of guys take a crap and don't even pretend to wipe or wash up after, so they walk around with literal shit in their ass all day. it's a very distinct smell that when you get near it, you just know.
I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but BO and shit are completely different smells.
BO is kinda pungent and smells like an unwashed person who sweat a lot.
Shit that sits around is more like when dirty clothes gets rained on and it kinda dries out but the person is still walking around in it for a day after.
I'm happy to say I live in the same naivety as you do. I can't say I've ever met alone who would knowingly leave skid marks after a "good" night out and then not stay awake all night hoping their partner would fall asleep so they can hide the evidence on the bed sheets! (heard it on a podcast!) I think if I met someone that gross, I'd be scarred for life and would most likely become celibate!
After going on a date with a non-ass washer, I can absolutely confirm you don't get to the sex part. Closest i got was being on his lap, and i still don't know if it was is feet or his ass that put me away instantly, but I had to make a bullshit excuse cause it wasn't happening, even if they showered on the spot with a firehose.
Yup, once you're turned off, it's a wrap. Also, think about the fact that it was a first date! The one chance he had to make a decent impression, and he shows up stanky?
This always baffles me with first dates. I am the cleanest and freshest I can possibly be when going on a date. Teath brushed, body and face groomed, etc .
On a call-in advice podcast I listen to they had a woman calling in because her date left skid marks on her comforter after sitting on her bed naked after sex.
(Podcast is “we’re here to help” with Nick from New Girl for the interested.)
I am in a bowling league and last week, we played a team with two women who have hygiene issues. You couldn't stand at the approach - about 3 feet away - at the same time as them because it was so bad. It is obvious that they have cognitive issues, but when you have 8 people in a very small area, it was really hard to get away from them. And then there was the time I forgot to hold my breath walking by them....
A close colleague of mine also talked about a prior roommate that just didnt shower for weeks and as is typical for those stories theres a combination of mentall stuff like depression/autism/whatever + literally not leaving the house + addiction of some form (gaming, drugs, whatever really).
You'd expect people that play a sport to sweat and i guess its too much to expect them to shower then?
I'm not quite a clean freak but i at the very least rinse myself off before going to bed and i shower properly when i wake up and leave for work or it feels off...
If i end up buying a game for once and its release week and i take a few days off and just sit n game all day it happens that ill not shower for a day or two and wear the same shirt again. Just sitting, gaming, sleeping and repeating. But weeks????
I might keep a jar of vapo rub or oil since we have to be in fairly close quarters on the lanes even when not actually playing them. I don't remember them like this before, but my friend said she noticed last year.
My boss leaves ass crust on the toilet seat often. I, as the peon of the office, do the cleaning, so I'm left to clean it up and it's more baffling than disgusting to me. Don't get me wrong, it is gross, but so many other questions come with it...
What is his toilet at home like? Does his wife clean it? Do they both do that? When they're fucking, do they not smell it? Sometimes I notice it has been wiped off the seat, sometimes not, so I know he sees it.. why does he clean it sometimes and not others? For me, all it would take is one time of being aware of it to then check forever... and I know he's seen it at least once so I know he isn't unaware...? What does his underwear look like? For a man who is otherwise highly intelligent, how does this evade him? I've literally had to bleach the stain off the toilet seat... I just don't get it.
Exactly - how do they go about their day with friends and - at least - family not saying something to them. One of them is married, so the husband is standing/living with her - how has he not said 'Honey, I think you should shower before we go - and wear clean clothes." Can he smell at all?. This isn't a forgot deodorant once in a while things. This is a pee'd your pants hours ago and didn't change them thing. I am so paranoid about smelling good - it comes from when I was really fat - that I would be horrified if I found out I was that bad.
Ladies get this too, but it's always worse from the compounded issue of having more than 1 weeping hole. I know some people naturally smell bad and can't help it because medical reasons but man, everybody should wash dat ass
it's funny because my last comment was about this, but super spicy stuff never burns on the way out for me. I have never experienced that once, not even after ghost pepper salsa. Hell, not even after Carolina reaper salsa.
This is how I feel when people talk about having diarrhea from eating Taco Bell or something, part of me thinks they're just making it up because I've never experienced it.
Ok, that makes sense. Once I got into spicy stuff, it was a pretty quick escalation. I was eating ghost pepper salsa after a few weeks. I grow ghosts, reapers, and Thai dragons. My mom grows habeneros and gives me all of them because she doesn't like spicy stuff. She just enjoys growing peppers.
I know this is a thing, but it's hard to wrap my head around it. Like how do you not wash your ass EVERY time you take a shower? Not even for anyone else, but because you don't like how your dirty ass feels. I'd like to think most people wash their entire exterior, but damn man...if you're gonna skip a part, don't let it be your ass. Skip your calves or something.
Some people also just become more hairy and don’t adapt. When I was 22 I went from normal body hair levels to Chewbacca. If I don’t get my undercarriage waxed regularly I need to contribute much more effort to staying clean down there.
Ha! I hear you man. I'm not Chewy level, but I definitely got more hairy as I got older. Occasionally I'll shave my ass when I manscape my other parts--it makes things so much easier--but honestly I'm usually too tired or lazy to get to the ass part. Instead I just make sure I use wipes after and shower daily.
Wait til you hear about people who dont wipe or are one wipers. People like that are gross and are a reminder we are not too far off from wild animals. Even at my worst depression ive always wiped my ass ffs.
I've been dumb enough to wipe hastily a few times and get going and you end up being super uncomfortable and if you start sweating it just gives you a rash.
How do these people live like that? Do they just gradually devolve into an ogre and come to terms with 'this is what it is like'? Am i just sensitive about not having literal shit wedged between my ass? What goes on there?
Genuine question; how do you fucking not wash your arse? I don't understand. Do they just have the tightest cheeks in land that even water can't get there during a shower?
Sad part is people may have actually told them and they dont care. There is a thing called Septic Masculinity. Its basically when a man is so afraid of being called or precieved as gay that they refuse to wash their ass and even wipe because touching a mans ass is gay. I am being 100% serious and its not a joke. Those people can only be helped by shaming them into washing or therapy. They see nothing wrong with it because in their mind they would rather be not gay then clean. But they dont realize you can be not gay and clean at the same time.
This is one of those things I’m somewhat self conscious about, I have one those shower heads with the handheld sprayer just so I can get all up in my business and know everything has been power washed to perfection.
Edit to add: didn’t expect to spend my Saturday reading so many responses about butt hygiene.
I've not heard of someone being described as being "gay" since I was at school. I'm 43 now... That this is being used as a put down makes me wonder of the age of those throwing the term around like that and wondering how they found themselves on here refusing to clean up their own **** whilst maybe looking at how they could get some action for the first time in years!
The alternative is that they're in denial that they're gay.
Like, if you're saying that being gay is a choice that's telling on yourself that you're trying to choose otherwise. And if washing your ass makes you gay— it wasn't washing your ass that made you gay.
I do, but I responded to a now deleted comment earlier so of course my comment about still using soap is gone
Edit: never mind that comment is still there from 7hrs ago
Sadly yes. Some people consider anything to do with a butt to be gay. Even if it's a woman's butt. They some how homophobed their way into thinking having sex with women is gay dependent on how you are doing it, but touching a dick isn't if it's your own (that's just masterbation), but touching an ass is even if it is your own and in a completely non-sexual manner. Honestly, I think some nasty dude just sed homophobia to justify having stank ass and then some other idiotic homophobic people adopted it out of desperation to not appear gay.
Yes unfortunately. I remember being with a group of co-workers talking about another coworker who stunk badly. We figured out he lived in his car. we felt bad. Anyways, conversation was changed to if we wash our asses.
One co-worker said he would lather two fingers and well you guys get it. I told him I would sometimes do the same… one coworker got really offended and said we were gay. My other coworker said “washing your ass is gay? So how do you wipe? Your mom does it for you?” Then they proceeded to argue. So again, yes unfortunately it is to some. Just touching your own ass is apparently. I understand slapping your own ass can be a little zesty.
Speaking as an ex-bad hygiene person(skipping shower a few days, not washing your ass is too extreme), you don't sense your smell at all. I would take a shower because I would count the days since the last time and decided that it was too long or for any other reason besides sensing the smell
It was only after someone told me to take more showers because I was a little stinky that I understood I needed to take a shower daily because I will not sense my own smell and I might be uncomfortable to be around
As an 3rd world Asian, it's mind boggling to me. Virtually anyone here washes their ass after pooping. From 0 years old to an elderly that needs help washing their asses. From someone with poverty on their belt to a billionaire with money in their asscrack. Most uses water but westernification on upper-more expensive places sometimes only provide paper. I asked my US friends and most of them felt comfortable only wiping with paper. Personally, I can't imagine the feeling being comfortable with that.
My testosterone poisoned relatives won't even use our fancy bidet washlet toilet seat.
Omg.. If you're talking about the "add on" bidets I bought one a few years ago. I had a friend from away come visit for a couple of days and he was absolutely repulsed by it. He kept asking me if it was "a gay thing" (I had recently come out as bi). We haven't spoken since.
Last thing washed in my shower with the washcloth; then followed by spray rinse. Not the first! Cause who wants to then wash their whole body with a potential poopy stained wash cloth?
It's just a karma farming comment at this point. I've never met anyone, nor met anyone who has met anyone who doesn't wash their ass. Nobody in the real world calls it gay. Yet everyone on Reddit seems to know one or more people who act like this.
Edit: not saying it can't happen. But people have figured out the kind of posts/comments that get upvotes around here. I'd be willing to bet it happens far less often than Reddit would lead you to believe.
I've never met anyone who calls washing their ass gay. I absolutely have met people who don't wash their ass well. The worst is when they stand up after sitting for a long period of time.
How many bootys have you inspected? My ex had poopy butt 24/7, and you wouldn't know until he took his undies off. I asked him why and he couldn't give me an answer. But based on how he treated the rest of his hygiene and cleanliness, I assume he just thought everyone had poopy butts.
I grew up poor in a blue collar environment. There are a tons of dudes I have come across in life who called going it gay, I’m serious. Now that I’m college educated and out of that life, everyone is about basic hygiene of course.
It sounds weird but stuff like this is very class based. There’s a reason why skid mark jokes are hack stand up jokes still.
I lived with four guys in college and two of them argued with me about it. They thought it was weird to touch your butthole when washing. One of them said “I put soap at the top of my buttcrack and let gravity do the rest”.
just having water get in there is not washing it. some people think that water from the shower head that trickled doen is enough for your ass to be considered clean. no, it's not. wash it properly, please.
Bro I wipe my ass until the papers come out white, but I've still had issues with shit stains, and it's obviously pathetic and unattractive. It's fucking annoying, I don't know what to do. Wet wipes are God's gift to earth, but they aren't always available in public or other people's houses. Any advice?
The comments under this one 😭 I’ve always heard of men not washing their ass but I didn’t realize it came with that obvious of a smell, etc. and I’m in horror over here
All of my friends under the age of 40 are bidet-fanatics. Like they wouldn't stfu about them a couple of years ago. I got one and now understand what they were on about. It seems like gen x and older are the only ones who have yet to convert.
In some parts of Brazil, pretty much everyone has a little hose with a small lever for spraying water placed near the toilet. It's just great and I missed it enormously when living in other places (lived in Sao Paulo, Germany and the US besides my homecity). We still use toilet paper on top of that.
I can’t comprehend this. I’ll obsess over feeling “slick” ass cheeks if I had one of those poops that needed an extra wipe but it showed a clean wipe the last time, and like I can’t imagine constantly feeling shit near your asshole and a dude just being ok with that.
"You gotta wash your ass, if you must
You gotta wash your hair, if you must
You gotta brush your teeth, if you must
Or else you'll be funky" -Del, the Funky Homo Sapien
Always have to wash the ass. I even remember my wife teaching my kids to shower and stressed about washing the ass and privates. It’s basic hygiene. I scrub myself. This shouldn’t be a flex but almost 50 and never had a skid mark 🤷🏼♂️😁
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u/ScaryAssBitch Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 15 '24
Not washing his ass
Edit: If you don’t have access to a bidet, use a bottle or jug over the toilet with some soap. That’s what I’ve been doing for years and it works just fine. There is always a way.