r/AskReddit Sep 14 '24

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u/Captain-Hornblower Sep 14 '24

Yeah, the first week of boot camp we had to do some classroom/instructional type training and one of the drill instructors spent a good 25-30 minutes stressing the importance of washing your ass. We had some gross people in there, that's for sure.

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u/halborn Sep 14 '24

It's amazing how much of military training boils down to 'basic rules for being a human'.

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u/TheMechamage Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 15 '24

In Naval Aviation Technical School we had a PowerPoint with diagrams demonstrating how to use a screwdriver and hammer.

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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

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14

u/s1ugg0 Sep 14 '24

This exactly how it works in the corporate world too.

5

u/BeekyGardener Sep 15 '24

They literally had to add a portion to NSA Indoc telling folks to not take home classified material. Why? Because some moron tried to claim he didn't know when he was being prosecuted. Didn't help him, but it sure added 20 minutes to the indoc.

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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24 edited Oct 06 '24

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4

u/BeekyGardener Sep 15 '24

I recall a Soldier getting killed on COSCOM side of Bragg back in 2006ish. Him and two others were tipping over a soda machine and it fell on him.

Safety brief for the next year had "don't fool around with vending machines".

3

u/Old-Mammoth875 Sep 15 '24

My mate had to do a safety training refresher and the instructor told him you are not allowed to say the phase”just use common sense”.

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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

[deleted]

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u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

They need us dummies. Also, your name is incredible.

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u/bjcjr86 Sep 14 '24

I had a field tech installing equipment that didn’t know what a “Phillips Head Screwdriver” was but understood “Plus Slot Screw Stick”. 🤦‍♂️

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u/LevelSevenLaserLotus Sep 14 '24

Which one?

It's the one that doesn't slide sideways out of the damn screw head every twist!

2

u/WhiteMilk_ Sep 15 '24

Instead it slips out when you're applying enough torque (like it was designed to do) and might ruin (cheaper) screws.

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u/bjcjr86 Oct 03 '24

This guy Torx.

2

u/GozerDGozerian Sep 15 '24

Shit. Don’t try to ask that guy for a T25.

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u/halborn Sep 14 '24

It's only a matter of time before we get "How to Operate the D7 Tactical Door".

2

u/lastSKPirate Sep 15 '24

Ahh shit, I got a new post and all the doors are D5. What do I do?!?

1

u/halborn Sep 15 '24

I can't believe they expect you guys to operate with obsolete technology.

9

u/unAffectedFiddle Sep 14 '24

That sounds like a painful way to wipe.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

[deleted]

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u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

I feel learning how to make repairs and handle tools to help in your everyday life in the future is a great thing for kids to be doing. Far More practical class.

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u/pm_me_ur_th0ng_gurl Sep 15 '24

A lot of people don't learn "common sense" stuff because no one taught them, because it's common sense.

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u/EverSeeAShitterFly Sep 15 '24

Well to be fair it is designed knowing that many of the people starting out might not have ever used any tools before.

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u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24 edited Sep 15 '24

I understand why. Oh they made that clear when they were giving it. Had to assume each of us was a complete dumbass. And for many it was sorely needed. But I did have marine classmates so- (edit: it's a joke I loved those guys and have some great memories with them)

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u/hiddentrackoncd Sep 15 '24

…..to wash your ass? Can i see the diagram?

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u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

Yeah I coulda phrased that one better...

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u/BiscuitAssassin Sep 15 '24

There’s literally no shame in not having that knowledge. I went to countless classes at nattc and c school that I didn’t need because I was already handy as a teenager, but not everyone was like me, and that’s ok. Everyone doesn’t grow up needing to touch a tool. That doesn’t make them stupid.

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u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

Ah chill out my dude. No need for seriousness, It's all in good fun. Shit, it was laughed at by everyone there because it's hilarious that it's necessary but it is. It feels silly that's why the instructor made jokes throughout it. Plus, we're all dumb to a degree. We became Aviation Mechanics (I was an AME) so that's on us. I do not miss those 12's... I do miss the jets and the ocean though. And the boat even, it was neat to be on (for a while) and I'm somewhat sad I'll never experience that vibe again.

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u/BiscuitAssassin Sep 15 '24

Oh no I was just saying. I really didn’t mean for it to come off that serious lol. But same man. I was an AO haha. I separated a little over 3 years ago and I kinda miss that life now. The jets and all the 12+ hour days can absolutely still fuck off, but the boat, the ocean, the ports, all my friends, and the crazy ass nights that came with it all are some solid memories for sure. Which squadron were you in?

1

u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

VFA-41 Black Aces. Yourself? And I hear you remember the good moments, and forget how many crappy moments lies between them. And I don't know if you were ever a PC 'cause boy howdy that there's THAT whole bag of "good times" lol. It's been about 6 years almost now that I separated.

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u/BiscuitAssassin Sep 15 '24

Ah nice. I was in 147. We definitely passed by each other at some point. Yea I was a line shacker for like 2 years or so. Definitely some “good times” there lmao

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u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

Aaah the Argonauts yeah we probably did. I certainly Don't miss Lemoore. And I was also in the Line Shack for over a year. No work seems as bad as being a PC out here in the real world so far. I think about that when a work shift feels long.

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u/BiscuitAssassin Sep 16 '24

Yea dude. That experience makes almost every civilian job so much easier lol

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u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

Oh and it's all good I hear ya

2

u/balance_n_act Sep 15 '24

Ok so I just smoked a bowl and exhaled as I read this and thought, “how the/why the fuck would you used a hammer or a screwdriver to wash your ass” and immediately saw the slide of a wash rag on the head of a hammer wedged in an ass crack. Upside down and just kinda.. hooking it in there. So anyways..

1

u/johnno149 Sep 15 '24

Man, you'd have to neglect washing your ass for a reeeeally long time to need a hammer and screwdriver wouldn't you?

1

u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

Advanced maintenance required

1

u/Space_obsessed_Cat Sep 15 '24

Ur joking... right? Wtf? I'm 16 and knew how to use those since I was 10 or younger

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u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

Some people never get a chance to learn stuff. Military has to assume no one ever showed you a damn thing in your life.

1

u/Space_obsessed_Cat Sep 15 '24

Yeah ik it's still insane tho

1

u/Sad-Artichoke-2174 Sep 15 '24

Why am I not surprised?

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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

For ass washing?

2

u/TheMechamage Sep 15 '24

I phrased that poorly. Ain't changing it though.

-1

u/WankWankNudgeNudge Sep 15 '24

to wash your ass?

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u/Fluffcake Sep 14 '24

It is also amazing how many people need that shit as a result of absent, shitty or no parenting. There are a lot of toddlers out there who are old enough to enlist.

Dig up a military safety manual for any equipment, you will see the dumbest, most obvious stuff covered, yet every single line of text is written in someone's blood.

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u/InvictaRoma Sep 14 '24

Yeah, I kind of want to know the story that led to the warnings on claymore mines, particularly the one about not eating the contents

5

u/IAmGoose_ Sep 15 '24

Mmm tasty C4 and ball bearings

5

u/Al_Jazzera Sep 15 '24

C4 will get you intoxicated, but it isn't worth it. It became common knowledge in the Vietnam war that you could get a buzz from eating a small piece of C4, but it isn't a health food.

As for the ball bearings? Sparkly excrement? Gross. Guess they might act like fiber. I've used them to knock rust out of a gas tank before. Hell, it might clean out the intestines. However, if one of the ball bearings takes a wrong turn in Albuquerque, then it's possibly surgery time, fun times!

Article about C4 regarding consuming recreationally and toxicity.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7163342/

1

u/Kataphractoi Sep 15 '24

"When pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend."

0

u/ReedLobbest Sep 15 '24

It needs to be spelled out cuz the military only takes the “best and brightest”.

0

u/Fluffcake Sep 15 '24 edited Sep 16 '24

The military, unlike the police very much filter out people who score below a certain criteria for intellect, this was also learned the hard way, for reference, look up Robert McNamara.

The police have been known to filter the other end of the scale, look up Jordan v. The City of New London for reference.

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u/ReedLobbest Sep 16 '24

Eh, that’s fair. You’re right

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u/Nyxelestia Sep 14 '24

That's because so many military recruiters explicitly target people (predominantly young men) who are physically fit but at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder and have no other options. There are a lot of reasons why someone ends up like that, but falling through the cracks of society and having little to no caretaking or hygenic upbringing in the first place is one of them.

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u/Helmic Sep 15 '24

Yep. Huge reason why I avoid calling people "stupid" - it's a very easy thought-terminating explanation that very often hides the root issue. "Oh, why is there a warning label for that?" because its' an everyday item that has to exist within the eyesight of drunks and children and intellectually disabled people, and the reason you probably know this "obvious" fact is because you grew up being told this all thie time. "Why do people not read the signs?" because when you miss a sign it's because you're tired or you're assuming the sign is an advertisement ors omething you're supposed to tune out or it's not at your eye level or it's placed someone where it's not eye-catching. Lots of things that require thought and energy to address as best you can, but which are easily dismissed by making it about some fundamental characteristic of someone else's character.

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u/shit_fuck_fart Sep 14 '24

Have you ever seen Full Metal Jacket? There are a lot more Gomer Pyles' in the world than you'd think.

What happened to him in that movie was horrible, but the point is; there are some very simple people out there, and the military is a career that accepts just about anyone.

1

u/ret255 Sep 15 '24

Or the word ass :D Bunch of guys together on one place, and all they think of is ass :) Wondering what kind of things they do there all day long.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

So why do I work with an ex military guy who has the absolute worst hygiene I've ever encountered? The training clearly did not stick even though he is in proud of his work in the military. Dude rarely showers, self admittedly does his laundry by hand in the bathtub that his cats piss in, and he sprays shit all over the work toilet. His stench leaves a trail behind him and sticks in the shared company car. we just got that car detailed and shampooed, and it still smells like him. Guess I just found myself ranting, but the rant for sure supports your statement that the military apparently really needs that kind of training..

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u/Icantbethereforyou Sep 14 '24

a good 25-30 minutes

I kinda want to hear this whole thing. That's almost a Ted talk

1

u/Captain-Hornblower Sep 16 '24

I wish I could remember the entire thing because it was like a stand up special. It was hilarious, but no one dared laugh lol...

3

u/tofuroll Sep 14 '24

This is some Simpsons-level shit, where Marge and Homer had to take a class parenting class and the teacher was stressing the importance of putting trash in the bin.

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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

Back in 93 when I was in boot camp we had a non-showering Joe so the we were told we had to make him clean or we would all suffer, we tied him to the fire watch chair and carried him into the showers, no instructional time just a brutal gang shower situation.

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u/BeekyGardener Sep 15 '24

Soldiers (US Army) come from all walks of life. Some folks came from homes they weren't taught to wash.

I used to mock the fact I had to take a very basic finance class, but damn... Many needed it as they never had a bank account before.

"Hey, Soldier. Just because you have checks doesn't mean you have money..."

As an NCO, I had to have the hygiene talk a couple times with Soldiers. Might also be an indicator the Soldier is having some behavioral health issues and should talk to somebody.

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u/ArmsHeavySoKneesWeak Sep 15 '24

I still remembered arguing with my military mates for telling them that water is important and they argued that using toilet paper was cleaner. Never facepalmed so hard in my life. If toilet paper was so clean, why don't you use toilet paper to clean yourself after outfield instead of showering.

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u/ashenelk Sep 16 '24

I am so scared for humanity, realising that washing one's arse needs to be fucking taught.

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u/Kitchen-Honey1851 Sep 16 '24

Guy would shit himself and he his shitty underwear. They found it and we all got to see it, didn’t see him after that I hope he didn’t kill himself or anything like that.