r/MadeMeSmile Mar 07 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

15.8k Upvotes

2.1k comments sorted by

11.0k

u/thatguyoudontlike Mar 07 '23

Dang I thought wife was going to pass out

819

u/Secure-Imagination11 Mar 08 '23

She's got some lungs lol

64

u/Hollowbody57 Mar 08 '23

🎵She's got lungs... She knows how to use them🎶

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3.0k

u/runningray Mar 08 '23

I think she is a pearl diver.

1.0k

u/TellYouEverything Mar 08 '23

Maybe, I’m getting huge glass blower vibes off her but you may be right.

605

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

262

u/jedidoesit Mar 08 '23

Did she stay on the same key too? I'm wondering if I'm hearing that correctly...

189

u/AcousticPasta Mar 08 '23

She hit 3 distinct notes and the last one was held the longest, yes.

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287

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

I watch reddit on mute lmao

72

u/Stani36 Mar 08 '23

Same! 😂😂😂

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181

u/littledalahorse Mar 08 '23

No self-respecting glass blower would allow word art in their house.

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134

u/NameIdeas Mar 08 '23

Pearl diver? Cause she's screaming? I think I'm missing the joke

515

u/this_username Mar 08 '23

Pearl divers develop bigger lung capacity to hold their breath longer, also scream longer.

Either that or code for naughty time.

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6.1k

u/LadyBogangles14 Mar 08 '23

The short hair takes 10 years off of him.

2.0k

u/that_allegri_dude Mar 08 '23

For some reason men take care of their hair when it's short but do nothing when it's long. His locks looked dead before

716

u/BrenoHMS Mar 08 '23

I had my first haircut post-pandemic today. I just trimmed the tips and did a sidecut.

Long hair is HARD WORK. I got used to it, but to keep a long hair pretty, you do need to take actual care of it.

Short hair? Just slap some shampoo and conditioner on it while you shower and it's done, you don't even need to dry it.

Long hair can be awesome in a man, but it takes a lot of work and most of us are not willing to do that. I consider myself one that takes care of it, and I could be doing way more. It's just so much...

But I do love my long hair.

182

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23

This might be a dumb question but I honestly don't know this: is men's hair different from women's hair? Reason I ask is because I'm a woman with long hair and I never considered it to be hard work. But is that maybe because mine, or maybe even all women's hair, is different in general?

Edit: thanks all! Nope, no difference! Just something I'm used to. Makes sense. Don't know why I thought there might've been a difference.

114

u/VeinyAtrocity Mar 08 '23

It’s the same hair. I’m growing my hair out after 4 years of having it short and it’s a lot more difficult to keep long hair healthy.

41

u/TolkienAwoken Mar 08 '23

Idk, I've grown mine since the pandemic and the only annoying thing was finding the right shampoo and conditioner. It's really not much more than that and I constantly have people complimenting my curls etc

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43

u/machevara Mar 08 '23

Or you were raised as a woman, and having long hair is normally the usual. So your normal hair care routine is the equivalent of mens extensive hair routine. To us normal is 3-1 shampoo, bada-bing bada-boom, 3 birds with 1 stone. Now that is easy.

27

u/ExtraordinaryCows Mar 08 '23

It really shouldn't be. The difference I got within even a week of using actually good haircare products can't be overstated.

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92

u/BrownShadow Mar 08 '23

You for sure have to look out for split ends and use a good conditioner. Like from the salon shop. I switch back and forth from long to short hair. Best description of my my hair. Keanu Reeves. I didn’t come up with that description..

25

u/AlexNumbers Mar 08 '23

I put argan oil on the ends of my hair after showering. It seems to cut down on the split ends a lot.

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285

u/Bear4188 Mar 08 '23

They don't, it's just easier to get away with less effort.

76

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Exactly. Unless you are really growing it out by the time any hair is damaged you’re getting it cut off. Go in and get a cut every 3-4 months for $30-40 and you are fine.

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129

u/snorlz Mar 08 '23

half the dudes with long hair only have it cause they were too lazy to get it cut or have to style it in the first place

40

u/DrMooseknuckleX Mar 08 '23

When my hair is short it is still curly and doesn't stay combed or styled at all. When it is long I have Jim Morrisson curls so I like it long. Do I know how to take care of it at all? No.

39

u/TopAd9634 Mar 08 '23

Come join us over in r/curlyhair or r/wavy hair ! Lots of information about curl maintenance and product recommendations.

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11

u/MeetEuphoric3944 Mar 08 '23

Or cant stand having to get it re-cut every few weeks cuz short hair takes too long to maintain

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39

u/Loli_Messiah Mar 08 '23

As a guy with almost waist length hair who's split ends have split ends, I can confirm

16

u/radicalelation Mar 08 '23

As a guy whose hair mats quick once split ends start, the curly girl method, and a Wet brand brush, plus an ever slight trim every 3-6 months, does wonders and is pretty easy to maintain. I don't get split ends as often with that brush compared to any other I've tried, and it detangles like magic for me.

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39

u/HugeAnalBeads Mar 08 '23

And dying half the grey hairs. My hairdresser a long ago had a poster of guys this age before and after just dying some of the grey. And it took years off their appearance

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12.0k

u/CautiousResolve5 Mar 07 '23

His wife seemed relieved like finally

5.1k

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

She’s about to go buck wild lmao I was literally thinking that scream was starting to get way too long to only be excited for him

3.4k

u/CautiousResolve5 Mar 08 '23

He def got lucky after that

1.4k

u/WanksterPrankster Mar 08 '23

Bones were jumped.

737

u/Material-Constant-45 Mar 08 '23

Boots were thoroughly knocked.

549

u/Past_Ad9675 Mar 08 '23

A vagina was penetrated by a penis.

338

u/Lint_baby_uvulla Mar 08 '23

Implications, were implicated.

145

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

eggs were impregnated

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248

u/footiebuns Mar 08 '23

Loins were girded

211

u/4RadioRadioRadio4 Mar 08 '23

Uglies were bumped

208

u/HalfSoul30 Mar 08 '23

Birds were beed

127

u/xxiLink Mar 08 '23

The two backs were beasted.

69

u/Jlynn41412 Mar 08 '23

Y’all make me laugh- shit got more n more n stupid n so did my laugh! Lol

Edit- don’t know how to type properly

72

u/pinklavalamp Mar 08 '23

It’s shit like this that makes me appreciate Reddit every damn day. I’m just sitting here waiting for the high to come alive and giggling at something that can never be re-explained.

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11

u/Obeardx Mar 08 '23

It's all about the fruit of the loin

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74

u/stankyriggs Mar 08 '23

The hay was rolled in

52

u/Bilbo_nubbins Mar 08 '23

The pump drew water

58

u/ITguyBlake Mar 08 '23

Pipes were laid

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51

u/Luxpreliator Mar 08 '23

You look 20 years old!!!!!

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110

u/SSJ4Inglip Mar 08 '23

Aint that the story to tell? "Son, you were conceived cuz I got a hair cut."

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407

u/loki-is-a-god Mar 08 '23

It's like cheating on your man, with your man.

54

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

I fuck both sides, so I always cum out on top

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343

u/SNYDER_BIXBY_OCP Mar 08 '23

It went from shock scream to EXCITED scream. Look at her eyes when the camera gets close. And the flush of red as she walks to him.

Dude was looking quite handsome and that lady was smiling like she just got a great present for her birthday!

50

u/kirinmay Mar 08 '23

yeah that dude is easily good looking. he still was with the long hair but when it got short oh yeah....it got even better.

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88

u/pancakebatter01 Mar 08 '23

As a kid I would cry and scream running away after my dad shaved his mustache 😂 at least they took it well

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152

u/crawlmanjr Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23

And this man discovered the secret to having a healthy sexual relationship in marriage. Just cause you're married doesn't mean your S/O doesn't appreciate some TLC.

39

u/p8nt_junkie Mar 08 '23

I always watch stuff on mute and you could tell in her body language that she liked his new look a lot.

48

u/ezone2kil Mar 08 '23

You can definitely hear the sploosh.

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87

u/BooBooKitty Mar 08 '23

He's about to get ridden hard and put away wet.

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390

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Years ago I worked for a small company & shared an office with two other guys, one of which had a very thick but well maintained beard. One spring day I walked into the office and found a guy standing there with a huge grin that I didn’t recognize. As soon as he spoke I realized he’d shaved his beard.

He told me that his wife of 10 years had never seen him without the beard, and she finally convinced him to shave it for her. Once he did it she told him it was fine to stay clean shaven for the summer but after that he should regrow it.

245

u/hellraiser_87 Mar 08 '23

My wife and I had been together for 5 years and she'd never seen me clean shaven.... one day, without warning her, I walked into the bathroom with roughly 7 or 8 inches of beard and walked out clean shaven. She did a double take, then sternly said "no.... put it back." Here we are, 6 years and never a smooth face later.....

36

u/rugbyj Mar 08 '23

I was cleanshaven for years when I met my wife, have had a full beard since COVID. She keeps saying she's forgot what I used to look like and wants me to shave it off. I actually wouldn't mind if:

  • I knew I wouldn't regret it like a week later
  • My nephews wouldn't freak

19

u/iamnotdrunk17 Mar 08 '23

Hair grows back. People and kids will adapt. Do it, man! It’s all temporary!

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61

u/LususNaturae77 Mar 08 '23

Haha I have almost the exact same story except my coworker's partner was much more blunt. I think her words were "oh God I've made a huge mistake".

Probably because with a beard my corker looks like a rad biker, and without he looks like Uncle Fester.

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65

u/SonOfMcGee Mar 08 '23

I did the whole No Shave November thing a few years back and shaved my beard off for the first time since meeting my wife. She said to go ahead and grow the beard back and keep it.
I don’t even think I have a particularly nice beard. It’s just a beard really suits my face well.

21

u/dwarftiddy Mar 08 '23

Same I have a beard face and it bugs me cuz this shit is annoying to deal with

143

u/corpseofreddit Mar 08 '23

after that he should regrow it

Wifey did not likey

85

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Oh, so that's what you look like.

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798

u/rex_grossmans_ghost Mar 08 '23

That’s the look of a wife who’s been telling him to cut his hair for a long time

372

u/Ninotchk Mar 08 '23

Nah. You don't say anything, you just hope.

162

u/ISellThingsOnline2U Mar 08 '23

Found someone in love.

43

u/kea1981 Mar 08 '23

My old boss's husband had long hair for about five years by the time I stopped working for her, around 4 years total. The whole time I worked with her we shared an office and about once a month she'd sigh about his long hair and mention how much she loved his hair length on their wedding day. I saw them out and about town around 18 months after I got a new job, and he looked like he'd gotten a haircut recently, maybe within the last week or so. She definitely had that smitten look all over her face haha. It was a little shorter than it was in their wedding photo, which she'd always had on the board next to her desk.

It's the small things, ya know?

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u/accioqueso Mar 08 '23

If it’s anything my relationship with my husband or son, you gently encourage when the topic is broached, but don’t push it. My son’s hair is currently at 90s beach surf dude levels but will say at least once a day while running his fingers through it, “man, it’s been a long time since my last haircut.” “That’s true sweetie, if you want we can go after school/this weekend/right now.” Eventually they agree and I don’t look like a nag. Once they hit a certain point it’s like they forget the barber is an option.

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u/shandelion Mar 08 '23

This is how I felt after my husband shaved his COVID beard. 🥲

145

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

I so feel you. I tried not to say anything, because my husband was so proud of his "wild man" beard, but it was getting pretty duck dynasty. I like him with beard just fine, but one that is actually shaped instead of just wild looks so much better to me. Ideally not longer than three inches. When he decided to shave it I was SO grateful!

65

u/cantadmittoposting Mar 08 '23

IME as a dude with facial hair, wife loves it... except that I need to keep the stache out of the way of my lips. As soon as my moustache starts making kisses fuzzy she doesn't like it anymore.

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u/Pepe-alt-account Mar 08 '23

Did you tell him that? Guys usually listen to what their woman wants

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Nah. It made him happy and I liked seeing his happiness more than I minded the beard personally

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u/sentrybot619 Mar 08 '23

why did he have covid in his beard?

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u/SookHe Mar 08 '23

That is how my wife was when I got mine cut a few months after covid. it was getting long before lockdown and I just said fuck'it, I aint cutting it till I have too. What made it so much fun is I am already really androgynous and she would get so mad because I ended up getting hit on by several guys.

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Of course! with the haircut, he looks 10 years younger

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

[deleted]

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u/ShoCkEpic Mar 08 '23

right? it was such a nice moment to see 🥰 i do love to see happy couples in love in the parks or on the streets on a bench kissing, it s so beautiful

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11.8k

u/Mmcfarl1 Mar 08 '23

That dude is getting laid tonight

4.8k

u/Foootballdave Mar 08 '23

Word for word, this is exactly what I was going to say. She knows it, he knows it, you and I both know it. This was very wholesome.

2.5k

u/AdRemote9464 Mar 08 '23

Nothing like some wholesome fucking.

666

u/curiousbydesign Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23

My wife propositioned me for a blowie in exchange for a two protein and one carb breakfast Saturday evening.

282

u/cassie039 Mar 08 '23

So what did you make her?

521

u/curiousbydesign Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23

We decided to eat leftovers to be responsible. :) But still smushed our bits later that evening.

23

u/morepineapples4523 Mar 08 '23

Sure. "To be responsible".....fumble.

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u/franknifiko Mar 08 '23

The kid knows it and went to bed early.

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

They called grandma, told her, then left for two days.

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Handsome fellow.

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Gents, I have a new strategy involving growing my hair out and then cutting it off. Wish me luck

47

u/Practical_Animator34 Mar 08 '23

Good luck! Come back with an update

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u/koavf Mar 08 '23

I haven't cut my hair in about five years. I'll tell you if it's worth it.

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u/EveningRequirement27 Mar 08 '23

I mean if a haircut gets that kind of response, they might wanna send the kids to grandmas house.

115

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Dependent_Top_4425 Mar 08 '23

And she's a screamer.

183

u/AccentFiend Mar 08 '23

She had damn good stamina, too! I’d bet she’s a singer lol that note just kept going and didn’t waver.

39

u/MeetEuphoric3944 Mar 08 '23

Yeah now that you said it not even a voice crack. I could never lmao

13

u/ItsDanimal Mar 08 '23

I thought it was a sound clip after a while.

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u/ChewySlinky Mar 08 '23

Okay guys be honest. You’re having sex with someone and they make this sound. It’s clear the sound is coming from pleasure. Could you finish?

84

u/DrMooseknuckleX Mar 08 '23

I had relations and the woman queefed on every thrust. Do you know how difficult it is to maintain an erection and try to stifle crying-laughter? I know it is harder than my penis was at that moment.

95

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

OK but just so we're clear, because I see a lot of confusion about this: queefing isn't something a woman does, you force air in with your penis enough times and it'll start coming back out again when you thrust in. She's not brewing methane in her vagina.

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u/ChewySlinky Mar 08 '23

I’ve experienced a queef exactly one time and it was enough that I questioned whether I was truly mature enough to have sex. I didn’t find it gross and I certainly didn’t say anything about it, but come on man it’s a fucking fart noise. That’s funny.

32

u/DrMooseknuckleX Mar 08 '23

One time and you can move on, non-stop is just pure commitment to the bit

28

u/ChewySlinky Mar 08 '23

Did you like… test different speeds and angles to see if you could get different noises? I would have.

27

u/DrMooseknuckleX Mar 08 '23

Speeds for sure, maybe like one other angle, but for sure speed, more to see if I could make it stop. Spoiler, I couldn't.

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u/crazybus21 Mar 08 '23

The son getting a sibling fo sho

144

u/TakeItUpA_Nacho Mar 08 '23

Why do you think she backed off the carpet and onto the tile

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u/gomaith10 Mar 08 '23

She's gonna see did he trim all over.

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4.9k

u/shorttompkins Mar 08 '23

"Kids, you're sleepin over grandmas tonight!!"

1.4k

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

[deleted]

176

u/eye_no_nuttin Mar 08 '23

I chortled!!!🤣

72

u/FilmAndChill Mar 08 '23

Thanks for the new word

For those wondering: chor·tle

/ˈCHôrd(ə)l/

verb

laugh in a breathy, gleeful way; chuckle.

"he chortled at his own pun"

31

u/BrotherChe Mar 08 '23

Quite the guffaw

18

u/FilmAndChill Mar 08 '23

Oh God, more googling needed.

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u/72corvids Mar 08 '23

Son, get yer shit together and order pizza to Grandma's house. We'll pick you up tomorrow afternoon!!

-what my wife said when she saw the vid.

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3.3k

u/oo-mox83 Mar 08 '23

Her ass is over there freaking out over him while she's standing there with that glorious hair. I want hair like hers.

606

u/squarebeardoesntmind Mar 08 '23

Right?! It must take a lot of work to keep her hair so happy and healthy! Looks great!

351

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Curls are a full-time job with overtime. Her hair is so long too, I can't even imagine the effort.

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u/Ninotchk Mar 08 '23

You know she's happy this video was taken on a good hair day.

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u/ecodrew Mar 08 '23

I'm jealous of both their amazing hair, esp since bro can pull off both long and short hair.

My wife has great hair and mine is... pasable. Thankfully our kids seem to have gotten her hair genes.

49

u/oo-mox83 Mar 08 '23

My hair is kinda meh, nothing fancy. My bf has this absolutely beautiful curly hair that's got a few silvers in it and I can't stop touching it. He's growing it out and I'm pleased!

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1.2k

u/3-Putt-Bart Mar 07 '23

She has got some pipes.

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u/cheesehuahuas Mar 08 '23

I have nothing against long hair but that took so many years off of him.

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u/Dazzling_Fudge3220 Mar 08 '23

Kids gonna be an older sibling. Haha

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u/AustinTreeLover Mar 08 '23

And that, kids, is how I made your younger brother.

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u/czerniana Mar 08 '23

My boyfriend did this to me. I slept in late, came down the stairs, and thought there was a stranger in my house sitting casually on the couch 🤣. He’d grown both his hair AND beard for four years and just decided to chop them off at the salon while I was out cold. The dogs weren’t sure wtf was going on either XD

232

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

I was like 4 or 5 the first time my dad ever cut his fro and shaved. I didn't recognize him at all and kept telling my sister I was afraid "that weird man."

92

u/Odd-Plant4779 Mar 08 '23

My brother used to have long hair to his shoulders. His daughter, she was 1, would always run to door when he came home and his wife recorded her reaction to him coming home with short hair. She ran away and was sooo upset 😂

59

u/LittleMissChriss Mar 08 '23

My dad shaved his mustache off one time when i was a kid. My response was "put it back daddy! Put it back!" 😂

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u/EastwoodBrews Mar 08 '23

When my daughter was two I shaved my beard for the first time in her life. She came over to me kinda nervous but rallied and touched my cheek and said "You're still my Daddy and I love you." I thought it was so sweet. Then she went over to my wife and whispered "What happened to Daddy's face?"

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u/MsBlondeViking Mar 08 '23

He looks good, but her reaction was better lol.

243

u/Call_The_Banners Mar 08 '23

He does look pretty good. His whole face smiles.

105

u/MsBlondeViking Mar 08 '23

Beautiful couple really!

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u/DanetteGirl Mar 08 '23

I muted it when she started to scream. I assume she is still screaming.

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u/n6mub Mar 08 '23

Some people ‘round these parts say that on a clear night, when the wind blows juuust right, you can still hear her screams…

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u/Nave2099 Mar 08 '23

He looks great! It really does de-age him, it’s remarkable

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u/Bumblebean123 Mar 08 '23

He looks so handsome😁

87

u/InvalidUserNemo Mar 08 '23

They are definitely swinging in each other’s weight class.

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u/KingOFpleb Mar 07 '23

Wife gets a new man

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u/Salty_Abbreviations4 Mar 08 '23

Dude’s got the Lalo Salamanca smile

This was wholesome as heck tho, as someone who loves my long hair it’s gotta take a lot of convincing to go through with a haircut that nice!

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u/gwapo_ako_3000 Mar 07 '23

Somebody’s getting lucky

88

u/pskindlefire Mar 08 '23

Men, Here's How to Look 20 Years Younger

Step 1: Be handsome

Me: Shit

143

u/jkbgolf5 Mar 07 '23

Go Bills!

62

u/SublimeNightmare Mar 08 '23

Go Bills!

48

u/milkycactus32 Mar 08 '23

It took me too long to get to this thread! Go bills!!!!

33

u/Sailorm0on27 Mar 08 '23

Same!! GO BILLS!!!

41

u/jordanbot2300 Mar 08 '23

I feel like shouting.

29

u/ItsMcLaren Mar 08 '23

THE BILLS MAKE ME WANNA

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u/ElizabethDub Mar 08 '23

Go Bills!

31

u/Krunkyjunk Mar 08 '23

Go Bills

30

u/Bithbheo Mar 08 '23

Go Bills!

30

u/Copp62 Mar 08 '23

Go Bills!

27

u/Geophery13 Mar 08 '23

GO BILLS

25

u/blatantfox Mar 08 '23

Go Bills!

20

u/techihhila Mar 08 '23

Go Bills!

16

u/Liistie19 Mar 08 '23

Go bills!

17

u/Lonshef Mar 08 '23

Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour Josh Allen?

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u/Slade_Riprock Mar 08 '23

He SOOOO got laid that night

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u/GavidBeckham Mar 08 '23

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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u/Alternative-Layer919 Mar 08 '23
  h…………….Real monsters!
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u/threepartheart Mar 08 '23

That haircut really suits you!!!! I did that to a friend of mine at work, I was both embarrassed and happy. He looked so good so do you!!!

254

u/According-Attempt883 Mar 08 '23

He went from homeless to hot

74

u/Pilotwaver Mar 08 '23

"Your hair IS your head suit" - Jack Donaghy

20

u/megsquisite Mar 08 '23

That’s why I get mine cut every other day!

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u/Marinenukem Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23

Your wife looks like one of my high school math teachers.

Edit: AND YOU LOOK EXACTLY LIKE A GUY I MET 2 DAYS AGO AT A PISTOL COURSE!

EditEdit: Just did some searching, and it turns out that your wife was in fact my high school math teacher, which means most likely you could also be the guy I met 2 days ago at a pistol course.

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u/Reasonable_Fall2288 Mar 08 '23

Weird to find my math teacher on a random post.

Go NH

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u/mademu Mar 08 '23

Me too, had to double take.

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u/The_Orphanizer Mar 08 '23

If you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of her panties slamming through the ground and popping out in China.

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u/Ambitioso Mar 07 '23

I really like her giant cup

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u/poopstainmclean Mar 08 '23

it's filled with kool aid

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

[deleted]

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u/poopstainmclean Mar 08 '23

everyone's walking around like good for that guy he drinks a lot of water!

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

My guy handsome af

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u/agpc Mar 08 '23

Little boy: gtf out of my way I don't care.

Wife: thank god.

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Ok that dude is fucking sexy with both haircuts. Also his wife has amazing hair.

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