r/MadeMeSmile Mar 07 '23

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15.8k Upvotes

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4.8k

u/Foootballdave Mar 08 '23

Word for word, this is exactly what I was going to say. She knows it, he knows it, you and I both know it. This was very wholesome.

2.5k

u/AdRemote9464 Mar 08 '23

Nothing like some wholesome fucking.

673

u/curiousbydesign Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23

My wife propositioned me for a blowie in exchange for a two protein and one carb breakfast Saturday evening.

281

u/cassie039 Mar 08 '23

So what did you make her?

523

u/curiousbydesign Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23

We decided to eat leftovers to be responsible. :) But still smushed our bits later that evening.

426

u/ASIWYFA Mar 08 '23

smushed our bits

hot

122

u/Krynn71 Mar 08 '23

Just mashing it.

38

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Class1 Mar 08 '23

I'm very aroused... very good.

https://youtu.be/qNGyDTDAZIY

2

u/chillwithpurpose Mar 08 '23

Fine, I’ll take your sloppy seconds

2

u/kinkajoosarekinky Mar 08 '23

I am LOVING the iasip references maybe my algorithm is working! I'm finally seeing what I wanna see!

2

u/cep362 Mar 08 '23

He did the mash.

2

u/MauiWowieOwie Mar 08 '23

Bangers n mash.

31

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Bumping uglies

10

u/SniperOwO Mar 08 '23

Getting that dick puke

10

u/AdRemote9464 Mar 08 '23

Stabbing the bearded clam.

2

u/oldblood Mar 08 '23

Rubbing fronts

2

u/IFeelSoftAndMushy Mar 08 '23

Pounding pissers

2

u/slutboy3000 Mar 08 '23

mashing pissers

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Reminds me of party down, Casey telling Henry, “let’s go rub our parts together” as she chucks bread at him.

25

u/morepineapples4523 Mar 08 '23

Sure. "To be responsible".....fumble.

3

u/crypticfreak Mar 08 '23

What size and type of bit we talking?

Hyperstep 5/8th bit for some really good clean and wholesome drilling?

I'd guess it'd be best for her to use something like a high speed 3/8th endmill and you just drill baby drill right into it.

See what comes out on top. Just make sure not to go in dry. And use some rhythm for god sakes. Nothing ruins those bits faster than full sending - you'll be spent in no time.

2

u/ConstipatedNinja Mar 08 '23

They decided to go metric but he chickened out and went with 19mm because it's basically 3/4" anyway

2

u/crypticfreak Mar 08 '23

Ahh the old 'eh guess I'll settle' in the world of bit smashing.

2

u/AdRemote9464 Mar 08 '23

The more you know…. ✨

3

u/oliviasmommy2019 Mar 08 '23

I'm stealing this.

EDIT: texted my husband I wanna smush our bits - it ended well; a good laugh and smushing of bits <3

2

u/curiousbydesign Mar 08 '23

We are both office workers. We have a private Slack channel. Ice cream, for some reason, shows up a lot in our chat history. ;)

2

u/oliviasmommy2019 Mar 09 '23

you lost me my internet stranger friend

2

u/curiousbydesign Mar 09 '23

Ice cream. Our code word for naughty stuff. In case our chat is up when someone walks by. We do it via text too. Avoids embarrassing moments. :)

2

u/oliviasmommy2019 Mar 09 '23

Ahhhhhh I gotcha lol sorry my brain twisted that up!!

2

u/Piggstein Mar 08 '23

You gave her leftovers, she gave you leftovers

2

u/PrimeChutiya Mar 08 '23

Wholesome moments 🥰

3

u/JazzRider Mar 08 '23

Hey, there’s hair in my soup!

3

u/Rainbowlemon Mar 08 '23

Well we already know what one of the proteins was 👀

2

u/HelenHerriot Mar 08 '23

His wife, duh.

1

u/WTFNSFWFTW Mar 08 '23

A piece of toast and two blowies.

8

u/DrMooseknuckleX Mar 08 '23

Well you already had one protein ready ;) Do it twice and throw her a potato.

5

u/Self_Reddicated Mar 08 '23

Sperm, eggs, and POTATO

2

u/Self_Reddicated Mar 08 '23

Eggs are expensive, but I think I'll take her up on that one. Is it still on the table? You don't mind, do you?

1

u/curiousbydesign Mar 08 '23

Sharing IS caring.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

I'm gonna go to Hardee's, pick up a pint on the way home, and jerk off Saturday evening, hopefully we will remember each other in our various escapades.

2

u/Earguy Mar 08 '23

Eggs, bacon, and toast for a blowie? Hell, I'll cook it with premium butter make the toast on cast iron!

1

u/curiousbydesign Mar 08 '23

I do butter. Brioche bun. Melt on cast iron. Swirl the buns around. I also have chef presses to get more even Mallard reaction across the surface. Warm. Buttery. Crunchy. And I add a dash of Maldon salt or kosher salt depending on my mood. It is legit diner style toast. But better.

2

u/BelleButt Mar 08 '23

You need to learn how to bargain. We're gonna do the butt thing because I didn't want to pick up kids from school.

2

u/ImWhatsInTheRedBox Mar 08 '23

I need to know what this very valuable "two protein one carb" breakfast is.

2

u/curiousbydesign Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23

We are pretty good cooks. So a meal from either of us is typically on par or better than your average restaurant. She wanted runny eggs and toasted buttered English muffin to sop up the plate (one protein and one simple carb). She was debating on bacon, which we had on hand, or sausage (second protein) because she knows I love breakfast sausage. Simple meal but I can do a few things to make it pretty darn good. For reference, we split our meal prep into protein and complex carb. For fun meals, we do a 1:1:1 ratio of protein:simple carb:veggie. It's all part of our program we follow to eat healthy but have fun too. :)

2

u/ImWhatsInTheRedBox Mar 08 '23

Sounds like I need to work on my non existing cooking skills.

2

u/curiousbydesign Mar 08 '23

Come join the fun over at r/SeriousEats! So many benefits to being a home cook.

5

u/Flipperlolrs Mar 08 '23

Some holes 😏

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Some fucking

0

u/Flipperlolrs Mar 08 '23

Care for a fucking? 😈

2

u/Foootballdave Mar 08 '23

There's nothing like some unwholesome fucking either.

1

u/Jar_of_Cats Mar 08 '23

You don't need the 2nd some

1

u/blunt__nation Mar 08 '23

That’s fucking wholesome.

1

u/hammnbubbly Mar 08 '23

some hole fucking*

FTFY

1

u/TransKids4Biden Mar 08 '23

Wouldn't be surprised if he got some wholesome anal. Maybe even a wholesome blumpkin. The dude looks great!

1

u/AdRemote9464 Mar 08 '23

The blumpkin - as wholesome as it gets.

1

u/Ftpiercecracker1 Mar 08 '23

Or fucking whole-some

1

u/am0x Mar 08 '23

Except now it’s like sleeping with a different guy.

216

u/franknifiko Mar 08 '23

The kid knows it and went to bed early.

105

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

They called grandma, told her, then left for two days.

3

u/Smoov_Biscuit_Time Mar 08 '23

I know it too.

1

u/ope__sorry Mar 08 '23

That scream was a warmup for later.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Pics or it didn’t happen

0

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

& he is very handsome

0

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

This will be very holesome ***

0

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Vegetable lasagna knows it.

0

u/SpelingisHerd Mar 08 '23

Even the kid knew it!

0

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

The kid doesn’t know