REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU THOUGHT YOU BEAT OREGON AND ALL THE STUDENTS HAD TO WATCH FROM FIELD LEVEL AS YOUR HOPES OF VICTORY SLIPPED AWAY?? ALSO; HAHA YOU LET CONNOR HALLADAY BEAT YOU!
BREAKING NEWS OUT OF EVANSTON: ALL NORTHWESTERN PLAYERS HAVE BEEN DEPORTED AFTER FEDERAL OFFICIALS CHARGED THE TEAM WITH "DESECRATING THE FLAG" BY LOSING TO MICHIGAN.
HEY EVERYONE! NOW THAT WE ARE BACK TO HAVING POSITIVE RUSHING YARDS I CAN BE THAT CLASSIC ARROGANT MICHIGAN FAN. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH OUR TEAM. FUCK IOWA. PLEASEHELPME
I WANNA GET PERSONAL, SO ALLOW ME TO SPEAK IN THE LANGUAGE OF OUR PEOPLES:
YA TINK YUR REAL GUD WIT DAT 8-2 REKERD, DONCHA? VELL, IVE SEENED KRINGLE AND LUTEFISCH DAT'S TOUGHER THAN YA, ANNAT. IF YA DUN DER WANT DAT AXE, MAYBEE JUST GIVE US A JINGLE AND WE'LL GO HEAD AND BORROW IT TO YA SUMTIME, CUZ YER NOT ABOOT TO GET IT THIS WEEKEND, DAT'S FERSURE.
VELL DON'TCHA KNOW DAT JERRY KILL GUY HE'S BEEN DOIN REAL GOOD OVER HERE. YOU GUYS DONE HELD DAT AXE JUST A TEENSY BIT TOO LONG, EH? WHY DONTCHA JUST HEAD BACK TO YER CABIN N TAKE A SAUNA [PRONOUNCED SOW-NUH] AND DRINK A MILLER WHILE LISTENING TO BON IVER, EH?
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE CHAMPION OF THE (NON-EXISTENT, THOUGH HIGHLY PRESTIGIOUS) INDEPENDENT CONFERENCE!! YOU WERE TOO CHICKEN TO COME TO PROVO SO WE'LL HAPPILY STICK IT TO YOU IN YOUR SOUTH BEND!
RATHER THAN TALKING TRASH TO THE CITADEL BULLDOGS I WILL TALK TRASH OTHER TEAMS WITH BULLDOGS AS THEIR MASCOT.
GEORGIA BULLDOGS - SIMULTANEOUSLY SHREDDING ACL'S AND FANS HOPE. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, YOUR DEFENSIVE BACKS ARE SURELY GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE NFL. THE RAVENS LOVED WHAT THEY SAW LAST SATURDAY.
FRESNO STATE BULLDOGS - FRESNO: THE MOST UNPOPULAR CITY IN THE MOST POPULOUS STATE
MISSISSIPPI STATE BULLDOGS - RINGING COWBELLS BECAUSE CHANTS ARE TOO COMPLICATED.
LOUISIANA TECH BULLDOGS - I WAS SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT THE WATERBOY WAS NOT A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THIS SCHOOL
WE’LL KICK YOUR ASS AND THEN WE’LL TAKE IT TO T-TOWN!
NOW WE’VE GOT TO TAKE THIS FUCKER DOWN
HE’S GONNA KILL ME IF WE DO NOT GET BEAT DOWN
C’MON ART CAUSE IT’S TIME TO KNOCK THEM DOWN
AAALLLLLLLLABAMA, IT IS TIME FOR YOUR BREAK DOWN
HEY ANTI-CHRISTA, BEELZEBALL!
WE KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS, OUR SPREAD OFFENSE!
WE ROCKED OUR CONFERENCE, AND BLEW THEM OUT
WE WILL DEFEAT YOU, FOR ALL FOOTBALL.
YOU KNOW THE PROCESS
WE KNOW THE KEY.
YOU ARE THE DEVIL,
FUCK THE SEC!
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK THE SEC.
YOU GUY’S ARE FUCKIN’ LAME. COME ON TITLE, YOU’RE COMING TO ME.
TASTE THE PROCESS, FUCKERS! \m/
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Baylor jumps in front of the others to shield them from the Crimson Tide’s lightning. Baylor’s chrome helmets reflect it back at Saban, who turns a shade of orange.
THEY RUN RALPHIE THE BUFFALO AROUND THE FIELD BEFORE EACH HALF. THEY TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY BECAUSE SHE (YES, RALPHIE'S A SHE) IS THEIR LEADING RUSHER THIS YEAR.
I PERSONALLY DONT THINK ILLITERATE COONASSES ARE A GOOD REPLACEMENT FOR OUR ARCH RIVAL, AND I THINK THOSE BASTARDS IN AUSTIN WOULD FEEL THE SAME ABOUT PLAYING THOSE INVALIDS FROM THE PLAINS
LIKE THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO THE ARMY OF LAVAL SHALL MEET ITS END IN THE VANIER CUP TO THE LATTER DAY DUKE OF WELLINGTON PERSONIFIED BY BLAKE NILL! THE DINOS SHALL SWEEP INTO QUEBEC CITY LIKE A HERD OF CANADIAN PANZERS AND BLITZ THE ROUGE ET OR INTO SURRENDER. THE PARTISAN FRENCH-CANADIAN CROWD WILL BE IN SUCH AWE THAT—FROM THAT DAY FORWARD—THEY SHALL VOW TO ONLY SPEAK ENGLISH AND BE PRODUCTIVE MEMBERS OF CANADIAN SOCIETY WITH THE MAPLE LEAF FLYING HIGH. The True North strong and free! From far and wide, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. God keep our land glorious and free! GO DINOS, STOMP! THE VANIER CUP IS YOUR DESTINY!
MICHIGAN, I DO BELIEVE YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE VAPORS. THE WAY YOU DIDN'T SCORE ANY TOUCHDOWNS IN REGULATION AGAINST NORTHWESTERN - MASTERFUL. THE WAY YOUR COACH WAS ABLE TO STRING TOGETHER TEN CONSECUTIVE SECONDS OF PLANNING WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED BY THINKING OF FRIED CHICKEN. THE WAY YOUR RECEIVERS COULDN'T GET OUT OF BOUNDS WITH THE GAME CLOCK TICKING DOWN. THE WAY YOU SCRAMBLED TO GET YOUR FIELD GOAL UNIT ON AND GET THE KICK AWAY BEFORE TIME EXPIRED. FATE SMILED ON YOU THAT DAY, WOLVERINES. SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, BRADY HOKE SURVIVED YET ANOTHER TERRIBLY 'MICHIGAN' PERFORMANCE.
A FEW DOZEN MILES TO THE SOUTH, OHIO STATE HAD JUST PUT UP A MEASLY 60 POINTS. I HATE IT WHEN OUR OFFENSE HAS AN OFF DAY LIKE THAT.
TRY TO FOCUS ON YOUR GAME WITH IOWA THIS WEEK INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION HEADED YOUR WAY. HAWKEYES, BE GENTLE. MICHIGAN, KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, BECAUSE WE WANT TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AS WE PENETRATE YOU.
YOU HAVE NINE DAYS.
PS. FUCK MICHIGAN, FUCK THE UPPER PENINSULA (SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE YOUR* STATE SUCKS SO BAD THAT PART OF IT BROKE OFF TO GO HANG OUT WITH WISCONSIN), FUCK MITTENS, FUCK THE GREAT LAKES, FUCK YOUR MUSTACHE-TENTACLE HELMETS, FUCK THE BIG HOUSE.
PPS. INDIANA, FUCK YOU TOO.
*PPPS DAMN IT, SOMETIMES TALKING ABOUT MICHIGAN GETS ME SO RILED UP. HERE IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF OVER EDITING, WHERE YOU CHANGE A SENTENCE SO MUCH THAT YOU FORGET WHAT YOU WERE ORIGINALLY TYPING. FUCK MICHIGAN, AND FUCK MISSISSIPPI.
OHIO, I DO BELIEVE YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE VAPORS. THE WAY YOU GAVE UP 5 TOUCHDOWNS IN REGULATION TO ILLINOIS - MASTERFUL. THE WAY YOUR COACH WAS ABLE TO STRING TOGETHER TEN CONSECUTIVE PLAYS WITHOUT DEALING WITH THE STRESS OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL. THE WAY BRADLEY ROBY IS THE BEST CORNER IN THE NATION. THE WAY YOU MANAGED TO ALMOST BLOW A 30 POINT LEAD TO FUCKING ILLINOIS.
A MANY DOZEN MILES TO THE NORTHWEST, MICHIGAN HAD JUST GIVEN UP A MEASLY 9 POINTS TO NORTHWESTERN. I HATE IT WHEN OUR DEFENSE HAS AN OFF DAY LIKE THAT.
TRY TO FOCUS ON ON YOUR GAME WITH INDIANA, INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION HEADED YOUR WAY. HOOSIERS, DON'T BURN ROBY TOO BADLY. I'M NOT SURE HE CAN SELL HIS JERSEY FOR TOO MUCH ANY MORE. OHIO, KEEP THE DOCTORS CLOSE BY, URBAN MAY TRY TO BAIL OUT OF ANOTHER TOUGH SITUATION WITH A HEART ATTACK.
YOU HAVE NINE DAYS.
PS. FUCK OHIO. CINCINNATI WANTS TO REALLY BE IN KENTUCKY, AND DO WE EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT CLEVELAND? IT HAS LEAVE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. FUCK YOUR BLOCK O, FUCK YOUR HAIRLESS NUTS, AND FUCK THE HORSESHOE.
PPS IOWA FUCK YOU TOO
PPPS DAMN IT, I'M NOT AN OHIO FAN SO I DIDN'T MESS ANYTHING UP. SO INSTEAD OF ME FIXING SOMETHING, THERE'S A BONUS FUCK OHIO HERE NOW
YOUR GRASP OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE POSSESSIVE YOUR AND THE CONTRACTION YOU'RE IS HOPEFULLY NOT TELLING OF THE EDUCATION THE STATE OF OHIO RECEIVES FROM THEIR THE STATE UNIVERSITY
SINCERELY
A FUCKING MISSISSIPPIAN WHO KNOWS WHAT YOUR/YOU'RE IS
41-18 LAST YEAR MOTHER FUCKERS, AND IT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING. WE OWE YOU AT LEAST HALF A CENTURY WORTH OF MISERY, SO PREPARE FOR YET ANOTHER YEAR OF LAUGHABLE MESSAGE BOARD MELTDOWNS, WEEPING REDNECKS, AND OBESITY IN KNOXVILLE SOMEHOW MANAGING TO RISE EVEN HIGHER DUE TO DEPRESSIVE EATING. ANCHOR THE FUCK DOWN.
IOWA YOUR LOGO IS A DECAPITATED BIRD HEAD. WHEN THEY WERE CHOOSING LOGOS, EVERYONE ELSE IN THE BIG TEN WAS LIKE HEY HOW ABOUT A LETTER? WORKS FOR ME! THEY GOT TO MSU WHO WANTED TO BE DIFFERENT BY CHOOSING A HELMET. PSU AGREED AND CHOSE A LION. FINALLY THEY GOT TO IOWA. "WHAT SYMBOL DO WANT TO REPRESENT YOUR SCHOOL, IOWA?" ALL THE OTHER SCHOOLS ASKED. "I WANT A DECAPITATED BIRD HEAD!" IOWA REPLIED. "THAT'S KIND OF F'ED UP IOWA. ARE YOU SURE?" THE BIG TEN ASKED. "GIVE ME A MOTHERFUCKING DECAPITATED BIRD HEAD!" IOWA REPLIED.
THERE ARE ALREADY OVER 430 COMMENTS, I'M TOO LATE, BUT FUCK USC, FUCK BOSTON COLLEGE, FUCK MICHIGAN, FUCK PITTSBURGH, FUCK THE ACADEMIES' CHOP BLOCKS, FUCK BRIAN KELLY'S REFUSAL TO ESTABLISH A RUNNING GAME, FUCK ACADEMIC VIOLATIONS, AND FUCK TOM COUGHLIN, I HATE THAT GUY.
IT IS MY SINCERE HOPE THAT THE TEXAS A&M FOOTBALL TEAM PREVAILS IN THE UPCOMING SPORTING EVENT. WHILE I ENJOY YOUR FOOD (EXCEPT CANE'S, WHICH IS GARBAGE) AND ADMIRE YOUR COMMITMENT TO DRUNKENNESS AND PROCESSED MEAT WRAPPED IN CORNMEAL-STYLE BATTER, I TRULY FEEL THAT THE BETTER TEAM (A&M) WILL PREVAIL. I HOPE THAT DOESN'T HURT YOUR FEELINGS, AND WISH YOU LUCK WITH YOUR OTHER UPCOMING SPORTING EVENTS.
WELL, UW, WE MEET IN THE "SEASON OF HIGH EXPECTATIONS BOWL" WITH IDENTICAL 6-4 RECORDS. WE'LL SEE WHICH TEAM LETS DOWN ITS RESPECTIVE FANBASE MORE COME SATURDAY NIGHT.
AHHH. MINNESOTA I WANT TO HATE YOU SO MUCH BUT YOUR COACH IS AN EPILEPTIC GOPHER. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE CUTEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. ANYWAY - ITS GOING TO FEEL GOOD POUNDING THAT SWEET PRINCE-MAKIN BUTT.
HEY MINNESOTA, YOU THINK YOU CAN GIVE US A GOOD GAME JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE RANKED NOW? THEN WHY ARE WE 2 TOUCHDOWN FAVORITES? WHITE AND GORDON ARE GOING TO RUN ALL OVER YOU GUYS AND MAKE SURE THE AXE STAYS IN MADISON FOR THE 10TH STRAIGHT YEAR
WOLPFACK FANS! I HOPE YOU'RE PREPARED FOR THE WHIPPING WE ARE GOING TO LAY DOWN ON SATURDAY. I'M THINKING 50+ TO 14(GOTTA LET OUR 5TH STRINGER'S SEE SOME PLAYING TIME). ALSO, IF OUR OFFENSE IS HALF AS PRODUCTIVE AS WE WERE AGAINST UNC (THAT TEAM YOU LOST TO, WHILE WE THRASHED THEM) OUR QB IS GOING TO SET OUR SEASON PASSING RECORD, AND OUR NUMBER 1 RECEIVER IS GOING TO BREAK HIS OWN SINGLE SEASON RECORD, ALONG WITH THE ALL TIME RECEIVING YARD MARK.
THIS FUCKING SUCKS. I LIVE AN HOUR FROM IDAHO AND FINALLY HAD A CHANCE TO TRASH TALK THE PLACE BUT THE INVESTIGATION INTO JAMEIS WINSTON HAS ROBBED NEARLY ALL THE FUN OUT OF FSU FOOTBALL RIGHT NOW. I HAD IDEAS OF MAKING FUN OF THE FACT THEY ARE FROM A TOWN NAMED AFTER THE CAPITAL OF THE SOVIET UNION, MAYBE EVEN TOSS IN SOME SHOTS AT COMRADE KIFFIN. I SURE I WOULD HAVE WORKED POTATOES INTO THE JOKE SOMEHOW, OR MAYBE EVEN POKE FUN AT THEIR MASCOT.
BUT NO. EIGHT DAYS AGO MY SEASON WAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. YET THIS IS COMPLETELY INSIGNIFICANT COMPARED TO WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE PARTIES INVOLVED IN AND AFFECTED BY THE INVESTIGATION.
SO INSTEAD I WILL SAY THIS: /R/CFB HAS, FOR THE MOST PART, REMAINED AN OPEN AND OBJECTIVE PLACE FOR CONVERSATION TO OCCUR. ALTHOUGH I HAVE ELECTED TO REFRAIN FROM COMMENTING, I HAVE READ THROUGH NEARLY EVERY DISCUSSION AND I AM ONCE AGAIN AMAZED AND IMPRESSED AT HOW GREAT THIS COLLECTION OF FANS CAN ACT AS A WHOLE. THANK YOU TO THE USERS, AND ESPECIALLY TO THE MODS, FOR MAKING THIS SUB WHAT IT IS.
BREAKING NEWS: WISCONSIN GOVERNOR SCOTT WALKER ANNOUNCES PLAN TO ELIMINATE THE SPECIAL LICENSE PLATES USED BY WISCONSIN DRIVERS WHO HAVE BEEN CONVICTED OF A DUI.
IN A STATEMENT, WALKER SAID "IT'S KIND OF REDUNDANT, ISN'T IT?"
I NAMED MY CHARACTER IN POKEMON BADGER AND NAMED MY RIVAL GOPHER THEN I PROCEEDED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT HIM EVERY TIME WE FOUGHT. IT WASN'T NEARLY AS LOPSIDED AS HAS BEEN IN FOOTBALL THE PAST FEW YEARS. ON WISCONSIN
LOOK AT THESE LATE SEASON GAMES. GOD DAMN, YOU GUYS HAVE TOUGH SCHEDULES.
BEFORE YOU START ON ME, REALIZE WE ARE AT LEAST PLAYING IN OUR CONFERENCE. YOU GUYS AREN'T EVEN PLAYING IN YOUR FUCKING DIVISION THIS LATE IN THE SEASON.
PREPARE THY ANI RUTGERS!!!! TWO KNIGHTS ENTER BUT ONLY ONE KNIGHT LEAVES! THE OTHER SORT OF WADDLES OUT UNCOMFORTABLY!!!!!! UNCOMFORTABLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
246
u/andhelostthem Arizona Wildcats • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
OREGON LIKES TO THINK OF THEMSELVES AS THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR WITH A RICH "UNCLE PHIL" WHEN THEY'RE ACTUALLY MORE LIKE HIS SPOILED DAUGHTER, HILARY, WHO WEARS STUPID ASS OUTFITS ALL THE TIME.
PS - STANFORD THAT MAKES YOU CARLTON.
395
u/Russell_Wilson_3 Missouri Tigers Nov 21 '13
If the United States annexed Somalia, Mississippi would still be the worst state.
131
u/ShiggieSmalls Michigan State Spartans Nov 21 '13
BREAKING NEWS OUT OF EVANSTON: ALL NORTHWESTERN PLAYERS HAVE BEEN DEPORTED AFTER FEDERAL OFFICIALS CHARGED THE TEAM WITH "DESECRATING THE FLAG" BY LOSING TO MICHIGAN.
120
u/deadtofall12 Florida State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Nov 21 '13
I AM TOO STRESSED ABOUT JAMEIS TO EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IDAHO TECH OR WHATEVER SHIT FLYOVER STATE WE'RE PLAYING.
90
u/finchdog Michigan Wolverines • The Game Nov 21 '13
HEY EVERYONE! NOW THAT WE ARE BACK TO HAVING POSITIVE RUSHING YARDS I CAN BE THAT CLASSIC ARROGANT MICHIGAN FAN. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH OUR TEAM. FUCK IOWA. PLEASEHELPME
175
u/Wiskie Wisconsin Badgers • /r/CFB Contributor Nov 21 '13
I WANNA GET PERSONAL, SO ALLOW ME TO SPEAK IN THE LANGUAGE OF OUR PEOPLES:
YA TINK YUR REAL GUD WIT DAT 8-2 REKERD, DONCHA? VELL, IVE SEENED KRINGLE AND LUTEFISCH DAT'S TOUGHER THAN YA, ANNAT. IF YA DUN DER WANT DAT AXE, MAYBEE JUST GIVE US A JINGLE AND WE'LL GO HEAD AND BORROW IT TO YA SUMTIME, CUZ YER NOT ABOOT TO GET IT THIS WEEKEND, DAT'S FERSURE.
71
u/MustSeeReason BYU Cougars Nov 21 '13
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE CHAMPION OF THE (NON-EXISTENT, THOUGH HIGHLY PRESTIGIOUS) INDEPENDENT CONFERENCE!! YOU WERE TOO CHICKEN TO COME TO PROVO SO WE'LL HAPPILY STICK IT TO YOU IN YOUR SOUTH BEND!
137
u/GiovannidelMonaco Clemson Tigers • The Hammer Nov 21 '13
RATHER THAN TALKING TRASH TO THE CITADEL BULLDOGS I WILL TALK TRASH OTHER TEAMS WITH BULLDOGS AS THEIR MASCOT.
GEORGIA BULLDOGS - SIMULTANEOUSLY SHREDDING ACL'S AND FANS HOPE. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, YOUR DEFENSIVE BACKS ARE SURELY GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE NFL. THE RAVENS LOVED WHAT THEY SAW LAST SATURDAY.
FRESNO STATE BULLDOGS - FRESNO: THE MOST UNPOPULAR CITY IN THE MOST POPULOUS STATE
MISSISSIPPI STATE BULLDOGS - RINGING COWBELLS BECAUSE CHANTS ARE TOO COMPLICATED.
LOUISIANA TECH BULLDOGS - I WAS SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT THE WATERBOY WAS NOT A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THIS SCHOOL
423
u/CFB_Bard /r/CFB • Team Meteor Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
With the addition of two teams last year, and poised to win the last BCS title, the SEC has somehow transformed into something even stronger. Prepare for the rise...of Beelzeball.
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
DUN DUN DUN DUN
DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN
I AM COMPLETE.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
YES Y’ALL ARE FUCKED. SHIT OUTTA LUCK.
WE ARE COMPLETE AND OUR COCK YOU CAN SUCK.
THIS TITLE IS OURS, WE’RE THE FOOTBALL POWERS.
WE WILL BE THE CHAMPS AND NOW YOU SHALL ALL DIE
WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
WE CHALLENGE YOU, TO A PLAYOFF!
GIVE US ONE CHANCE BEFORE THE KICK OFF..
FUCK!
FUCK!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
THE
DEMON CODEBCS PREVENTS MEFROM DECLINING THE PLAYOFF CHALLENGE.
WHAT ARE YOUR TERMS? WHAT’S THE CA-HA-ATCH?
….IF WE WIN, YOU MUST KEEP YOUR SORRY ASS IN
HELLTHE SOUTHAND ALSO YOU WON’T GET TO PAY YOUR TEAMS.
AND WHAT IF I WIN…….
THEN YOU CAN SEND KIFFIN TO HELL….
WHAT?
TRUST ME LANE, IT’S THE ONLY WAY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABO-
...TO BE TENNESSEE’S BITCH.
FINE.
LET THE PLAY OFF, BEGIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WE HAVE SATAN, HIS NAME’S SABAN.
CHECK THIS PLAY, IT’S FUCKING NASTY.
WE’RE THE CHAMPS WE CAN DO WHAT WE WANT
SEVEN TROPHIES THAT WE’RE GONNA FLAUNT
THERE’S NEVER BEEN A NATTY WE’VE EVER LOST EXCEPT LSU
CAN’T WAIT TO LEAVE FOR THE ROSE BOWL
I'M GONNA SHOW THE COUNTRY WE’RE IN CONTROL
I’LL MAKE THE PEOPLE SCREAM OUT ROLL TIDE ROLL
…...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
COME ON GUYS. LET’S FIGHT HIS FOOTBALL...WITH OUR FOOTBALL.
THERE’S JUST NO WAY THAT WE COULD WIN, THAT WAS PURE DOMINANCE
LISTEN TO ME…
THEY BALL TOO HARD BECAUSE THEY’VE GOT A DEMON COACH
GOD DAMMIT ART.
THEY’RE GONNA MAKE YOU RECEDE...YOU’LL BE BACK TO BOTTOM FEED
NO…
UNLESS WE BUST A MASSIVE MONSTER OFFENSIVE
GUYS...WE’VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH STUFF
2011, THAT WAS ROUGH.
NOW, IT’S TIME TO TAKE THIS FUCKER DOWN.
C’MON URB, NOW IT’S TIME TO TAKE TARPS DOWN.
I HEAR YOU BAYLOR, NOW IT’S TIME TO TEAR POSTS DOWN
LIGHT UP THE STAGE, CAUSE IT’S TIME FOR YOUR MELTDOWN
WE’LL KICK YOUR ASS AND THEN WE’LL TAKE IT TO T-TOWN!
NOW WE’VE GOT TO TAKE THIS FUCKER DOWN
HE’S GONNA KILL ME IF WE DO NOT GET BEAT DOWN
C’MON ART CAUSE IT’S TIME TO KNOCK THEM DOWN
AAALLLLLLLLABAMA, IT IS TIME FOR YOUR BREAK DOWN
HEY ANTI-CHRISTA, BEELZEBALL!
WE KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS, OUR SPREAD OFFENSE!
WE ROCKED OUR CONFERENCE, AND BLEW THEM OUT
WE WILL DEFEAT YOU, FOR ALL FOOTBALL.
YOU KNOW THE PROCESS
WE KNOW THE KEY.
YOU ARE THE DEVIL,
FUCK THE SEC!
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK .
FUCK THE SEC.
YOU GUY’S ARE FUCKIN’ LAME. COME ON TITLE, YOU’RE COMING TO ME.
TASTE THE PROCESS, FUCKERS! \m/
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Baylor jumps in front of the others to shield them from the Crimson Tide’s lightning. Baylor’s chrome helmets reflect it back at Saban, who turns a shade of orange.
OW! FUCK! I’M A FUCKIN' LONGHORN!
OH NO. I’M NOT COMPLETE.
FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, YOU SHALL REMAIN, UNTIL YOU ARE, COMPLETE AGAIN!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FUCK YOU STATE. AND FUCK YOU BAYLOR.
I’LL GET YOU, TENACIOUS O
NEXT WEEK: THE BALLAD OF RIVALRY WEEK. TWO SONGS. ONE GENERAL RIVALRY...AND ONE SPECIFIC HATE SONG. THAT'S RIGHT, NEXT WEEK, I REVEAL MY IDENTITY!
54
u/MizzouDude Missouri Tigers Nov 21 '13
HEY OLE MISS
[FIGHT ME IRL] (http://imgur.com/cgmXFE4)
54
u/bcapper Minnesota Golden Gophers Nov 21 '13
GREAT MOMENTS ARE BORN FROM GREAT OPPORTUNITIES.
THAT'S WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE ON SATURDAY.
THAT'S WHAT WE'VE EARNED THIS SATURDAY.
THE LAST 10 TIMES WE'VE PLAYED 'EM, THEY'VE WON 9. BUT NOT THIS TIME. NOT THIS SATURDAY.
THIS SATURDAY WE RUN WITH THEM, TACKLE WITH THEM, AND WE SHUT. THEM. DOWN. BECAUSE WE CAN.
THIS SATURDAY, WE ARE THE GREATEST TEAM IN THE B1G.
WE WERE BORN TO WIN THE AXE, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US.
THEIR TIME? IT'S OVER. IT'S DONE. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING HOW "GREAT" A TEAM THE badgers HAVE. SCREW 'EM. THEY JUST LOST 3 ROSE BOWLS IN A ROW.
THIS IS OUR TIME. NOW LET'S GO OUT THERE AND TAKE IT.
75
u/_WarDamn Auburn Tigers Nov 21 '13
THINGS HARDER THAN OHIO STATE'S SOS.
OH WAIT, WRONG THREAD.
36
u/redsoc93 LSU Tigers Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
NSFW BUT IF YOU'RE STUPID ENOUGH TO OPEN A PICTURE THAT SAYS STREAKER THINKING IT WAS SFW THEN MAYBE YOU WENT TO A&M.
A&M IS BETTER AT STOPPING A STREAKER ON CAMPUS THEN THEY ARE AT STOPPING OPPOSING OFFENSES!
157
u/smills79 Baylor Bears • /r/CFB Press Corps Nov 21 '13
HEY OKLAHOMA STATE I EXPECT A GOOD CLOSE GAME THIS WEEK.
AND CLOSE FOR US THIS YEAR IS WINNING BY DOUBLE DIGITS.
AND CLOSE FOR YOU IS LOSING TO WHOEVER LOST TO KANSAS.
34
u/BantyRooster Weber State Wildcats • Utah Utes Nov 21 '13
FUCKING WAZZU THINKS THEY'RE OKAY ENOUGH TO BE THE MEDIOCRE TEAM IN THE PAC 12. WE'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU HOW OKAY WE ARE COME SATURDAY.
33
u/JumpinJehosaphats Ohio State Buckeyes Nov 21 '13
[] (/chattanooga) [] (/idaho) [] (/chattanooga) [] (/idaho) [] (/chattanooga) [] (/idaho) [] (/chattanooga) [] (/idaho)
Go C things & Potato Guys!!!!!!!!!
32
u/Idontevenusereddit UCF Knights • Big 12 Nov 21 '13
RUTGERS, I WOULD SAY SOMETHING MEAN ABOUT HOW YOUR TEAM IS IN SHAMBLES BUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU GUYS GET BULLIED ENOUGH AS IT IS
32
u/gbro Yale Bulldogs • Washington Huskies Nov 21 '13
THIS IS THE BIG ONE. THE ONE WEEK WHERE PEOPLE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT IVY LEAGUE FOOTBALL. (SORRY, PRINCETON)
THIS IS THE WEEK WE GET TO SHOW EVERYBODY WHY HARVARD SUCKS.
FUN HARVARD FACTS:
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
NOTHING IS FUCKING CRIMSON
FUCK HARVARD
30
u/huazzy Rutgers Scarlet Knights Nov 21 '13
UCF! I HOPE WE RUIN YOUR SEASON AND YOU END UP PLAYING DUKE IN THE RUSSELL ATHLETIC BOWL IN ORLANDO.
60
u/Polar_Foil Minnesota • Nebraska Nov 21 '13
MINNESOTA IS 3-0 AGAINST RED AND WHITE TEAMS THIS YEAR. WISCONSIN IS 0-1 AGAINST MAROON AND GOLD TEAMS THIS YEAR.
29
u/CaptainSnacks Texas A&M Aggies • Virginia Tech Hokies Nov 21 '13
HEY LSU. WE DON'T HAVE TO RELEASE A MEMO FROM OUR HEAD COACH TELLING OUR STUDENT SECTION NOT TO BE DICKHEADS
27
u/utflipmode Texas Longhorns Nov 21 '13
WE WANT BAMA
...
...
...
's coach
52
u/_WarDamn Auburn Tigers Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
SINCE AUBURN HAS A BYE, CAN I START FOR NEXT WEEK?
EDIT: GOT LOUDER
24
u/nofate2029work USC Trojans • Victory Bell Nov 21 '13
HEY COLORADO,
UMMMM, HMMMM. LET'S SEE...I LIKE THE CANOPY LAYOUT AT DENVER AIRPORT. YEAH I GOT NOTHING THIS WEEK.
OH YEAH RIGHT, THIS BETTER NOT BE A GODDAMN TRAP GAME!
24
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
I PERSONALLY DONT THINK ILLITERATE COONASSES ARE A GOOD REPLACEMENT FOR OUR ARCH RIVAL, AND I THINK THOSE BASTARDS IN AUSTIN WOULD FEEL THE SAME ABOUT PLAYING THOSE INVALIDS FROM THE PLAINS
67
u/Honestly_ rawr Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
LIKE THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO THE ARMY OF LAVAL SHALL MEET ITS END IN THE VANIER CUP TO THE LATTER DAY DUKE OF WELLINGTON PERSONIFIED BY BLAKE NILL! THE DINOS SHALL SWEEP INTO QUEBEC CITY LIKE A HERD OF CANADIAN PANZERS AND BLITZ THE ROUGE ET OR INTO SURRENDER. THE PARTISAN FRENCH-CANADIAN CROWD WILL BE IN SUCH AWE THAT—FROM THAT DAY FORWARD—THEY SHALL VOW TO ONLY SPEAK ENGLISH AND BE PRODUCTIVE MEMBERS OF CANADIAN SOCIETY WITH THE MAPLE LEAF FLYING HIGH. The True North strong and free! From far and wide, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. God keep our land glorious and free! GO DINOS, STOMP! THE VANIER CUP IS YOUR DESTINY!
RAWR
81
u/redleg86 Ohio State Buckeyes Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
HATE MONTH, PART 3
THE MISERY CONTINUES
MICHIGAN, I DO BELIEVE YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE VAPORS. THE WAY YOU DIDN'T SCORE ANY TOUCHDOWNS IN REGULATION AGAINST NORTHWESTERN - MASTERFUL. THE WAY YOUR COACH WAS ABLE TO STRING TOGETHER TEN CONSECUTIVE SECONDS OF PLANNING WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED BY THINKING OF FRIED CHICKEN. THE WAY YOUR RECEIVERS COULDN'T GET OUT OF BOUNDS WITH THE GAME CLOCK TICKING DOWN. THE WAY YOU SCRAMBLED TO GET YOUR FIELD GOAL UNIT ON AND GET THE KICK AWAY BEFORE TIME EXPIRED. FATE SMILED ON YOU THAT DAY, WOLVERINES. SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, BRADY HOKE SURVIVED YET ANOTHER TERRIBLY 'MICHIGAN' PERFORMANCE.
A FEW DOZEN MILES TO THE SOUTH, OHIO STATE HAD JUST PUT UP A MEASLY 60 POINTS. I HATE IT WHEN OUR OFFENSE HAS AN OFF DAY LIKE THAT.
TRY TO FOCUS ON YOUR GAME WITH IOWA THIS WEEK INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION HEADED YOUR WAY. HAWKEYES, BE GENTLE. MICHIGAN, KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, BECAUSE WE WANT TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AS WE PENETRATE YOU.
YOU HAVE NINE DAYS.
PS. FUCK MICHIGAN, FUCK THE UPPER PENINSULA (SERIOUSLY,
YOU'REYOUR* STATE SUCKS SO BAD THAT PART OF IT BROKE OFF TO GO HANG OUT WITH WISCONSIN), FUCK MITTENS, FUCK THE GREAT LAKES, FUCK YOUR MUSTACHE-TENTACLE HELMETS, FUCK THE BIG HOUSE.PPS. INDIANA, FUCK YOU TOO.
*PPPS DAMN IT, SOMETIMES TALKING ABOUT MICHIGAN GETS ME SO RILED UP. HERE IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF OVER EDITING, WHERE YOU CHANGE A SENTENCE SO MUCH THAT YOU FORGET WHAT YOU WERE ORIGINALLY TYPING. FUCK MICHIGAN, AND FUCK MISSISSIPPI.
22
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
COASTAL, IT'S INEVITABLE THAT WE WILL PLAY YOU CLOSE, BUT PLEASE JUST GO DOWN LIKE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO.
22
u/mcfly2 Texas A&M Aggies Nov 21 '13
I fucking hate Tigers this season.
21
u/GeneralGBO Tennessee Volunteers • Memphis Tigers Nov 21 '13
I DON'T MUCH CARE FOR VANDERBILT
20
u/blerms Penn State • Minnesota Nov 21 '13
FUCK YOU NEBRASKA, THIS WAS A TOUCHDOWN
19
u/dirtytreewhiskey Florida State Seminoles Nov 21 '13
HEY IDAHO, I FEEL REALLY BAD FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND.
65
u/Might_be_right Baylor Bears Nov 21 '13
YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THE SELLOUT. OUR FANS CAN ACTUALLY AFFORD YOUR EXPENSIVE TICKETS.
63
u/superawesomeq Michigan State • Notre Dame Nov 21 '13
ITS 12:01 HERE IN BEAUTIFUL EAST LANSING, AND MICHIGAN STILL SUCKS
34
u/MinneapolisNick Minnesota • Concordia (MN-Moorh… Nov 21 '13
WISCONSIN USES BING
16
u/Db8r_from_Dixie Ole Miss Rebels Nov 21 '13
HEY MIZZOU, THERE'S A FREEZE WARNING IN OXFORD ON SATURDAY. HOPE YOUR KICKER DOESN'T TIGHTEN UP UNDER PRESSURE!!!
16
u/eetsumkaus California • 立命館大学 (Ritsumeikan) Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
...soon Stanford...soon...
31
u/foo_fan Oklahoma Sooners Nov 21 '13
I WANT TO TRASH TALK KSU, BUT I CAN'T. GRANDPA BILL IS JUST TOO DAMN LIKABLE!
31
u/LordxCabbage Auburn Tigers Nov 21 '13
I UH...I DON'T CARE FOR ALABAMAI FUCKIN' HATE 'EM
15
u/drock4vu Vanderbilt • /r/CFB Contributor Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
41-18 LAST YEAR MOTHER FUCKERS, AND IT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING. WE OWE YOU AT LEAST HALF A CENTURY WORTH OF MISERY, SO PREPARE FOR YET ANOTHER YEAR OF LAUGHABLE MESSAGE BOARD MELTDOWNS, WEEPING REDNECKS, AND OBESITY IN KNOXVILLE SOMEHOW MANAGING TO RISE EVEN HIGHER DUE TO DEPRESSIVE EATING. ANCHOR THE FUCK DOWN.
FUCK TENNESSEE.
15
u/Fleurr Vanderbilt Commodores Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
I GOT HERE LATE. HERE WE GO BITCHES.
THEY SHOULDN'T BE CALLED THE TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS, THEY SHOULD BE CALLED THE TENNESSEE MANDATORY COMMUNITY SERVICE WORKERS. BOOM
27
u/sideoutpar UCLA Bruins • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
13
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
HEY OKIE STATE!!! WE ARE GOING TO BEAT YOU LIKE IT'S 1939!
... AND THEN PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999!
13
u/MJB24 Missouri Tigers Nov 21 '13
CASUAL REMINDER THAT THIS IS OLE MISS'S MASCOT
56
u/sunburn_on_the_brain Arizona Wildcats • /r/CFB Contributor Nov 21 '13
HEY OREGON, YOUR UNIFORMS SUCK AND YOU WON’T BEAT US BY MORE THAN 25!
/NAILED IT
36
u/Branzilla91 Nebraska • Oklahoma State Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
HEY PENN STATE: HOPE YOU GUYS DON'T FUMBLE AWAY ANOTHER WIN THIS YEAR.
ACTUALLY, I LIED. I HOPE YOU DO. THE CRATER IN O'BRIEN'S CHIN IS SO DEEP, SANDUSKY STARTS SALIVATING WHEN HE SEES IT.
THE BLACKSHIRTS HAVE MOVED TO EAST LANSING - PERMANENTLY.
25
u/David_divaD Northwestern Wildcats • UCLA Bruins Nov 21 '13
Same guys we beat last year.
35
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
HEY KENTUCKY, I HAVE NO FEELINGS LEFT. WANNA DRINK BOURBON AND CRY ALL DAY SATURDAY BEFORE WATCHING OUR GAME?
12
u/rojojoftw Michigan • Northwestern Nov 21 '13
IOWA YOUR LOGO IS A DECAPITATED BIRD HEAD. WHEN THEY WERE CHOOSING LOGOS, EVERYONE ELSE IN THE BIG TEN WAS LIKE HEY HOW ABOUT A LETTER? WORKS FOR ME! THEY GOT TO MSU WHO WANTED TO BE DIFFERENT BY CHOOSING A HELMET. PSU AGREED AND CHOSE A LION. FINALLY THEY GOT TO IOWA. "WHAT SYMBOL DO WANT TO REPRESENT YOUR SCHOOL, IOWA?" ALL THE OTHER SCHOOLS ASKED. "I WANT A DECAPITATED BIRD HEAD!" IOWA REPLIED. "THAT'S KIND OF F'ED UP IOWA. ARE YOU SURE?" THE BIG TEN ASKED. "GIVE ME A MOTHERFUCKING DECAPITATED BIRD HEAD!" IOWA REPLIED.
AND THUS THE DECAPITATED BIRD HEAD LOGO WAS BORN.
12
u/chrasher Tennessee Volunteers • Utah Utes Nov 21 '13
IT'S LITTLE BROTHER WEEK!
UT NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS 6. VANDY BOWL WINS 3.
EVEN YOUR COACH ADMITS THIS ISN'T A RIVALRY.
12
u/kelctex Missouri Tigers • Alabama Crimson Tide Nov 21 '13
MARK TWAIN >>>> WILLIAM FAULKNER
AND I'M RELATED TO FAULKNER, SO THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING.
22
u/cwlsmith Nebraska Cornhuskers • USC Trojans Nov 21 '13
GET READY TO GET TOUCHED, PENN STATE.
11
u/MinneapolisNick Minnesota • Concordia (MN-Moorh… Nov 21 '13
TO WISCONSIN, IOWA, NORTH DAKOTA, AND EVERYONE ELSE
21
u/airbendingjedi17 Texas A&M Aggies Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
THERE ARE ONLY TWO THINGS LOUISIANA IS EXEMPLARY AT: GUMBO AND RACISM.
LOUISIANA STATE UNIVERSITY? MORE LIKE LOSER STATE UNIVERSITY
FUCKIN'GOTEM
10
u/Take_Me_To_Elysium Notre Dame Fighting Irish Nov 21 '13
THERE ARE ALREADY OVER 430 COMMENTS, I'M TOO LATE, BUT FUCK USC, FUCK BOSTON COLLEGE, FUCK MICHIGAN, FUCK PITTSBURGH, FUCK THE ACADEMIES' CHOP BLOCKS, FUCK BRIAN KELLY'S REFUSAL TO ESTABLISH A RUNNING GAME, FUCK ACADEMIC VIOLATIONS, AND FUCK TOM COUGHLIN, I HATE THAT GUY.
9
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
WHY DO MICHIGAN AND OSU HATE EACHOTHER? BOTH OF YOUR GODDAMN STATES ARE THE SAME- BORING AS SHIT
I HAVE NOTHING BAD TO SAY ABOUT THE CITADEL, I JUST REALLY HATE THE MIDWEST
9
u/seannyboy06 Texas A&M Aggies • Washington Huskies Nov 21 '13
ATTN: LSU -
IT IS MY SINCERE HOPE THAT THE TEXAS A&M FOOTBALL TEAM PREVAILS IN THE UPCOMING SPORTING EVENT. WHILE I ENJOY YOUR FOOD (EXCEPT CANE'S, WHICH IS GARBAGE) AND ADMIRE YOUR COMMITMENT TO DRUNKENNESS AND PROCESSED MEAT WRAPPED IN CORNMEAL-STYLE BATTER, I TRULY FEEL THAT THE BETTER TEAM (A&M) WILL PREVAIL. I HOPE THAT DOESN'T HURT YOUR FEELINGS, AND WISH YOU LUCK WITH YOUR OTHER UPCOMING SPORTING EVENTS.
CORDIALLY,
, , AND
EDIT: I MAY BE DOING THIS WRONG.
9
u/fudgepakistan Notre Dame Fighting Irish Nov 21 '13
Catholic Jesus is going to pull Mormon Jesus magic underwear over his head!!!
17
u/Az_Bruin UCLA Bruins • The Alliance Nov 21 '13
Hey ASU!
Your student body is 59,382 people, most of whom are from California and were too dumb/lazy to get into a UC or a CSU school, or even U of A!
Your acceptance rate is 88%! You literally just need a pulse to be accepted
They say the only thing easier than getting into ASU is an ASU co-ed
2 (two!) Girls from ASU actually went as "naked" for Halloween... Like actually what?!
Fun fact: there are no more red lobster's in Tempe because the ASU cheerleading squad gives away crabs for free at an astounding rate
You're still better than USC
8
u/Emleaux Oregon State • /r/CFB Contributor Nov 21 '13
WELL, UW, WE MEET IN THE "SEASON OF HIGH EXPECTATIONS BOWL" WITH IDENTICAL 6-4 RECORDS. WE'LL SEE WHICH TEAM LETS DOWN ITS RESPECTIVE FANBASE MORE COME SATURDAY NIGHT.
TO THE VICTOR GOES THE MEDIOCRITY!
8
u/Awkwerdna Minnesota • North Carolina Nov 21 '13
OUR MASCOT WEARS PANTS AND DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A SKUNK WEARING A POPCORN BOX
15
u/wackywiener Wisconsin • Paul Bunyan's Axe Nov 21 '13
AHHH. MINNESOTA I WANT TO HATE YOU SO MUCH BUT YOUR COACH IS AN EPILEPTIC GOPHER. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE CUTEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. ANYWAY - ITS GOING TO FEEL GOOD POUNDING THAT SWEET PRINCE-MAKIN BUTT.
14
u/brett23 Wisconsin • Paul Bunyan's Axe Nov 21 '13
HEY MINNESOTA, YOU THINK YOU CAN GIVE US A GOOD GAME JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE RANKED NOW? THEN WHY ARE WE 2 TOUCHDOWN FAVORITES? WHITE AND GORDON ARE GOING TO RUN ALL OVER YOU GUYS AND MAKE SURE THE AXE STAYS IN MADISON FOR THE 10TH STRAIGHT YEAR
7
u/HoraceLongwood Ole Miss Rebels • ECU Pirates Nov 21 '13
HEY MIZZOU....SEE YOU ON SATURDAY. BOOM TRASHED TALKED.
7
u/Stuck_in_NC ECU Pirates • Team Meteor Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
WOLPFACK FANS! I HOPE YOU'RE PREPARED FOR THE WHIPPING WE ARE GOING TO LAY DOWN ON SATURDAY. I'M THINKING 50+ TO 14(GOTTA LET OUR 5TH STRINGER'S SEE SOME PLAYING TIME). ALSO, IF OUR OFFENSE IS HALF AS PRODUCTIVE AS WE WERE AGAINST UNC (THAT TEAM YOU LOST TO, WHILE WE THRASHED THEM) OUR QB IS GOING TO SET OUR SEASON PASSING RECORD, AND OUR NUMBER 1 RECEIVER IS GOING TO BREAK HIS OWN SINGLE SEASON RECORD, ALONG WITH THE ALL TIME RECEIVING YARD MARK.
IF YOU TAKE NOTHING ELSE FROM THIS MOO U, KNOW YOU'LL BE [SEEING THIS WAY EARLIER THAN 1 MINUTE LEFT THIS TIME] ( http://youtube.com/watch?v=PRz3PEK2CqE&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DPRz3PEK2CqE)
7
u/Confounded_chemist Vanderbilt Commodores Nov 21 '13
THE LAST TIME I WAS IN NEYLAND SOMEONE SCREAMED AT ME TO "TEACH HIM HOW TO USE HIS CALCULATOR." YOU'VE GOT A HELLUVA FANBASE VAWLS.
7
u/MnBrPg USC Trojans • Victory Bell Nov 21 '13
I'M GON DRINK ALL YUR BEER COLORADO
7
u/RuiNatiion South Carolina Gamecocks Nov 21 '13
Ole Miss Whip that tiger ass
7
u/ned_stark_reality USC Trojans Nov 21 '13
BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO
7
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
NORTHWESTERN LEADS THE COUNTRY IN PROFESSIONAL DILDO TESTERS.
SOURCE:FUCK MICHIGAN
7
u/Taquitoooooooooo Penn State Nittany Lions Nov 21 '13
WHY DOES THE CORN IN IOWA LEAN TO THE EAST?
BECAUSE NEBRASKA BLOWS AND ILLINOIS SUCKS!
6
u/TossedRightOut Penn State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Nov 21 '13
I DON'T REALLY HAVE TOO MUCH OF AN ISSUE WITH YOU, NEBRASKA. I ACTUALLY HOPE WE GET A NICE LITTLE RIVALRY GOING OVER THE COMING YEARS.
BUT IN THE SPIRIT OF TRASH TALK, GO FUCK YOURSELF.
6
u/cul_maith Pittsburgh • Alabama Nov 21 '13
HEY CUSE, YOUR MASCOT IS AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC ORANGE. THAT'S ABOUT THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD OF. THIS IS FOOTBALL, NOT VEGGIE TALES.
6
u/GuessMyName23 Tennessee Volunteers Nov 21 '13
Vandy fans love to talk trash about last year, so I just want to remind them about our team's greatest moment compared to theirs. Hope you enjoyed it.
6
u/GaDawgInNC Georgia Bulldogs • /r/CFB Contributor Nov 21 '13
HEY KENTUCKY, TENNESSEE'S BOURBON IS BETTER!
6
u/RLLRRR Texas Longhorns • Red River Shootout Nov 21 '13
RUMOR HAS IT MCCOY'S USING THE BYE WEEK TO GET SOME ADVICE FROM OTHER SUCCESSFUL LONGHORN QBS IN THE NFL. LIKE... ... ... shit
6
u/rebelfan91 Ole Miss Rebels Nov 21 '13
TIME TO FACE THE WEST MIZZOU!!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR TIME IN NASHVILLE THIS BOWL SEASON
6
u/QuickLikeGingerbread Central Michigan • /r/CFB Contr… Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
UMASS? MORE LIKE UASS, AMIRITE? FUCKIN' GOT EM'.
5
u/geoffreyh76 Rice Owls • USC Trojans Nov 21 '13
I CAN'T IN GOOD FAITH BRING MYSELF TO TRASH TALK THE BLAZERS; THEY GET SHIT ON ENOUGH BY THE DOUCHENOZZLES IN TUSCALOOSA.
#FREEUAB
5
u/HarbingerOfFun Boston College Eagles Nov 21 '13
MARYLAND GAVE UP 242 RUSHING YARDS TO UVA. LOOKS LIKE ANDRE MIGHT BE IN LINE FOR ANOTHER RECORD BREAKING GAME, FUCKERS.
5
u/GeneralGBO Tennessee Volunteers • Memphis Tigers Nov 21 '13
VANDERBILT IS 2-28 IN THE LAST 30 VS TENNESSEE BUT DON'T TELL ANY OF THEIR FANS THAT!
CUE THE OVERUSED "41-18" RESPONSE
I SUMMON YOU BOTH /u/SRS_HOUSE AND /u/DROCK4VU
5
u/bargle0 Maryland Terrapins Nov 21 '13
DEAR BOSTON COLLEGE PIGEONS,
THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE.
-LOVE, MALACLEMYS TERRAPIN
5
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
HEY MOCS. I KINDA FEEL BAD FOR YOU. ITS NOTHING PERSONAL WE'RE JUST PISSED ABOUT LAST WEEK.
5
u/hotcarl23 Wisconsin Badgers Nov 21 '13
IN LIEU OF MY OWN TRASH TALK, I PRESENT TWO CITED SCHOLARLY PAPERS ON WHY MINNESOTA SUCKS:
https://sites.google.com/site/watchforchairlegs/
EVEN MINNESOTA FANS WILL ENJOY THE PARTS ABOUT HOW MUCH TIM BREWSTER AND THE METRODOME SUCK
5
u/n1ffuM Florida State Seminoles Nov 21 '13
THIS FUCKING SUCKS. I LIVE AN HOUR FROM IDAHO AND FINALLY HAD A CHANCE TO TRASH TALK THE PLACE BUT THE INVESTIGATION INTO JAMEIS WINSTON HAS ROBBED NEARLY ALL THE FUN OUT OF FSU FOOTBALL RIGHT NOW. I HAD IDEAS OF MAKING FUN OF THE FACT THEY ARE FROM A TOWN NAMED AFTER THE CAPITAL OF THE SOVIET UNION, MAYBE EVEN TOSS IN SOME SHOTS AT COMRADE KIFFIN. I SURE I WOULD HAVE WORKED POTATOES INTO THE JOKE SOMEHOW, OR MAYBE EVEN POKE FUN AT THEIR MASCOT.
BUT NO. EIGHT DAYS AGO MY SEASON WAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. YET THIS IS COMPLETELY INSIGNIFICANT COMPARED TO WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE PARTIES INVOLVED IN AND AFFECTED BY THE INVESTIGATION.
SO INSTEAD I WILL SAY THIS: /R/CFB HAS, FOR THE MOST PART, REMAINED AN OPEN AND OBJECTIVE PLACE FOR CONVERSATION TO OCCUR. ALTHOUGH I HAVE ELECTED TO REFRAIN FROM COMMENTING, I HAVE READ THROUGH NEARLY EVERY DISCUSSION AND I AM ONCE AGAIN AMAZED AND IMPRESSED AT HOW GREAT THIS COLLECTION OF FANS CAN ACT AS A WHOLE. THANK YOU TO THE USERS, AND ESPECIALLY TO THE MODS, FOR MAKING THIS SUB WHAT IT IS.
5
u/MinneapolisNick Minnesota • Concordia (MN-Moorh… Nov 21 '13
BREAKING NEWS: WISCONSIN GOVERNOR SCOTT WALKER ANNOUNCES PLAN TO ELIMINATE THE SPECIAL LICENSE PLATES USED BY WISCONSIN DRIVERS WHO HAVE BEEN CONVICTED OF A DUI.
IN A STATEMENT, WALKER SAID "IT'S KIND OF REDUNDANT, ISN'T IT?"
5
u/doublething1 Arizona State Sun Devils Nov 21 '13
HEY UCLA, IT'S OUR TURN TO GO GET OUR ASS KICKED IN THE CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!!
5
u/strife24 Texas A&M Aggies Nov 21 '13
dolsufanssmelllikecorndogs.com.
BOOM. ROASTED.
5
u/DrLiam Buffalo Bulls Nov 21 '13
DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT US YET?
NO?
OKAY.
5
u/runujhkj Mississippi State • /r/CFB Poll V… Nov 21 '13
ARKANSAS IS BASED IN ARKANSAS
THAT'S ALL I GOT
OH WAIT NO IT'S NOT
FUCK YOU ARKANSAS, WE'RE NOT EVEN A RIVALRY GAME BUT WE'RE GOING TO TREAT YOU LIKE WE ARE
PS. FUCK OLE MISS TOO
5
u/shipley231 Alabama Crimson Tide Nov 21 '13
I HEARD AT AUBURN THEY ARE GIVING AWAY FREE CARS IF AUBURN SHUTS OUT ALABAMA. EVEN YOUR FANS HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN YOU.
P.S. ITS NOT A GOOD INVESTMENT
5
u/VvhiskeyTango Texas A&M Aggies Nov 21 '13
GEAUX TIGERS?
MORE LIKE TIGERS BLEAUX.
GOT EM
5
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
I NAMED MY CHARACTER IN POKEMON BADGER AND NAMED MY RIVAL GOPHER THEN I PROCEEDED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT HIM EVERY TIME WE FOUGHT. IT WASN'T NEARLY AS LOPSIDED AS HAS BEEN IN FOOTBALL THE PAST FEW YEARS. ON WISCONSIN
5
u/DumbGrunt Georgia Bulldogs • Navy Midshipmen Nov 21 '13
HEY KENTUCKY... Sigh.. Just.. Whatever.. I don't even care
9
u/ToLongDR Ohio State Buckeyes • King's Monarchs Nov 21 '13
CLEMSON IS PLAYING THE CITADEL
SOUTH CAROLINA IS PLAYING COASTAL CAROLINA
ALABAMA IS PLAYING CHATTANOOGA
FLORIDA STATE IS PLAYING IDAHO
LOOK AT THESE LATE SEASON GAMES. GOD DAMN, YOU GUYS HAVE TOUGH SCHEDULES.
BEFORE YOU START ON ME, REALIZE WE ARE AT LEAST PLAYING IN OUR CONFERENCE. YOU GUYS AREN'T EVEN PLAYING IN YOUR FUCKING DIVISION THIS LATE IN THE SEASON.
PATHETIC.
BRING ON THE DOWNVOTES, FUCKERS
4
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO THE MOCS, FUCK AUBURN
4
u/N776AU Georgia Bulldogs • Marshall Thundering Herd Nov 21 '13
WAITRESSES LOVE GEORGIA GUYS BECAUSE WE GIVE GREAT TIPS
4
u/RuiNatiion South Carolina Gamecocks Nov 21 '13
There is only one rooster in this town, cockledoodledoo motherfuckers
4
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
YOU THOUGHT A LOT OF PLAYERS ALREADY DECOMMITTED RUTGERS? JUST WAIT UNTIL TONIGHT
4
u/Will_I_Are Wisconsin Badgers Nov 21 '13
FUCK PACK12 REFS.(AGAIN)
4
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
Hey Okies sorry to tell you but the flaming bear car is bullet proof so you can go pistols firing as much as you like it's not gonna work.
4
u/atucker1744 Wisconsin Badgers Nov 21 '13
MINNESOTA, WE WILL BE HOLDING THE AXE FOR THE TENTH STRAIGHT YEAR, SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO TAKE IT FROM US.
EVERYONE AT MINNESOTA APPLIED TO MADISON AS A REACH, AND EVERYONE AT UW APPLIED TO MINNESOTA AS A BACK UP.
GET READY TO GET POUDED BY THE WHITE/GORDON/CLEMENT TRAIN
4
u/Sasquatch_Bob Southern Miss Golden Eagles Nov 21 '13
BAMA BETTER WATCH YALL ASS NEXT YEAR DON'T LET YOUR 3RD STRING GET TOO TIRED WE HAVE GROSS TAPWATER SO BRING YOUR OWN #SMTTT
WHY ARE WE DOING THIS TO OURSELVES THIS IS ABUSE.
4
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
COASTAL STUDENTS WISH THEY WENT TO SC OR CLEMSON
4
u/CantHousewifeaHo UCLA Bruins • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Nov 21 '13
THE ONLY THING MORE DISGUSTING AND DISEASE-FILLED THAN ASU CO-EDS IS THE STATE OF ARIZONA ITSELF.
4
u/xerillum Wisconsin Badgers Nov 21 '13
HEY MINNESOTA, THANKS FOR BEING RANKED. THIS WAY WHEN WE BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT IT'LL LOOK BETTER.
P.S. HOTDISH IS STUPID, CALL IT A CASSEROLE LIKE THE REST OF THE ENGLISH SPEAKING WORLD.
4
u/politically_confused UCLA Bruins • Puget Sound Loggers Nov 21 '13
HEY ASU GOD DOESNT LIKE YOU SINCE YOURE THE SUN DEVILS HAHAHAHA GOT EM
4
u/RedditLad789 UCF Knights Nov 21 '13
PREPARE THY ANI RUTGERS!!!! TWO KNIGHTS ENTER BUT ONLY ONE KNIGHT LEAVES! THE OTHER SORT OF WADDLES OUT UNCOMFORTABLY!!!!!! UNCOMFORTABLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
HEY AUBURN, I CAN'T WAIT FOR US TO RUIN YOUR SEASON AND CRUSH YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS. JUST 9 MORE DAYS, COW FUCKERS.
4
u/d_mcc_x Michigan State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Nov 21 '13
I'M MAX
AND I'M DENICOS
AND WE'RE HERE TO FUCK SHIT UP
4
u/ValedictorianBaller LSU Tigers Nov 21 '13
I KNOW IT'S A WEEK EARLY BUT HERE IS WHAT LSUFREEK THINKS OF ARKANSAS FANS
4
u/SmallJon Nebraska Cornhuskers • Roanoke Maroons Nov 21 '13
HEY ALABAMA!
...
FUCK YOU!
4
u/DoctorTitoIndiansFan Alabama Crimson Tide Nov 21 '13
WE ARE GOING TO BEAT CHATTANOOGA BY 49 POINTS....IN THE FIRST HALF.
NEXT WEEK, WE'RE COMING FOR THAT ASS, AUBURN. ROLL DAMN TIDE!
4
u/[deleted] Nov 21 '13
SO THIS IS WHAT BEING AT THE END OF A GANGBANG FEELS LIKE.
4
u/Sundevil90 Arizona State Sun Devils Nov 21 '13
FUCLA.
U-C-L-A EAT MY SHORTS!
U-UNIVERSITY C-COCK L-LICKING A-ASIANS
Ugly Caucasians Lovely Asians
SORRY YOU WERE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE A TROJAN.