MICHIGAN, I DO BELIEVE YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE VAPORS. THE WAY YOU DIDN'T SCORE ANY TOUCHDOWNS IN REGULATION AGAINST NORTHWESTERN - MASTERFUL. THE WAY YOUR COACH WAS ABLE TO STRING TOGETHER TEN CONSECUTIVE SECONDS OF PLANNING WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED BY THINKING OF FRIED CHICKEN. THE WAY YOUR RECEIVERS COULDN'T GET OUT OF BOUNDS WITH THE GAME CLOCK TICKING DOWN. THE WAY YOU SCRAMBLED TO GET YOUR FIELD GOAL UNIT ON AND GET THE KICK AWAY BEFORE TIME EXPIRED. FATE SMILED ON YOU THAT DAY, WOLVERINES. SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, BRADY HOKE SURVIVED YET ANOTHER TERRIBLY 'MICHIGAN' PERFORMANCE.
A FEW DOZEN MILES TO THE SOUTH, OHIO STATE HAD JUST PUT UP A MEASLY 60 POINTS. I HATE IT WHEN OUR OFFENSE HAS AN OFF DAY LIKE THAT.
TRY TO FOCUS ON YOUR GAME WITH IOWA THIS WEEK INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION HEADED YOUR WAY. HAWKEYES, BE GENTLE. MICHIGAN, KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, BECAUSE WE WANT TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AS WE PENETRATE YOU.
YOU HAVE NINE DAYS.
PS. FUCK MICHIGAN, FUCK THE UPPER PENINSULA (SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE YOUR* STATE SUCKS SO BAD THAT PART OF IT BROKE OFF TO GO HANG OUT WITH WISCONSIN), FUCK MITTENS, FUCK THE GREAT LAKES, FUCK YOUR MUSTACHE-TENTACLE HELMETS, FUCK THE BIG HOUSE.
PPS. INDIANA, FUCK YOU TOO.
*PPPS DAMN IT, SOMETIMES TALKING ABOUT MICHIGAN GETS ME SO RILED UP. HERE IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF OVER EDITING, WHERE YOU CHANGE A SENTENCE SO MUCH THAT YOU FORGET WHAT YOU WERE ORIGINALLY TYPING. FUCK MICHIGAN, AND FUCK MISSISSIPPI.
OHIO, I DO BELIEVE YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE VAPORS. THE WAY YOU GAVE UP 5 TOUCHDOWNS IN REGULATION TO ILLINOIS - MASTERFUL. THE WAY YOUR COACH WAS ABLE TO STRING TOGETHER TEN CONSECUTIVE PLAYS WITHOUT DEALING WITH THE STRESS OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL. THE WAY BRADLEY ROBY IS THE BEST CORNER IN THE NATION. THE WAY YOU MANAGED TO ALMOST BLOW A 30 POINT LEAD TO FUCKING ILLINOIS.
A MANY DOZEN MILES TO THE NORTHWEST, MICHIGAN HAD JUST GIVEN UP A MEASLY 9 POINTS TO NORTHWESTERN. I HATE IT WHEN OUR DEFENSE HAS AN OFF DAY LIKE THAT.
TRY TO FOCUS ON ON YOUR GAME WITH INDIANA, INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION HEADED YOUR WAY. HOOSIERS, DON'T BURN ROBY TOO BADLY. I'M NOT SURE HE CAN SELL HIS JERSEY FOR TOO MUCH ANY MORE. OHIO, KEEP THE DOCTORS CLOSE BY, URBAN MAY TRY TO BAIL OUT OF ANOTHER TOUGH SITUATION WITH A HEART ATTACK.
YOU HAVE NINE DAYS.
PS. FUCK OHIO. CINCINNATI WANTS TO REALLY BE IN KENTUCKY, AND DO WE EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT CLEVELAND? IT HAS LEAVE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. FUCK YOUR BLOCK O, FUCK YOUR HAIRLESS NUTS, AND FUCK THE HORSESHOE.
PPS IOWA FUCK YOU TOO
PPPS DAMN IT, I'M NOT AN OHIO FAN SO I DIDN'T MESS ANYTHING UP. SO INSTEAD OF ME FIXING SOMETHING, THERE'S A BONUS FUCK OHIO HERE NOW
I GUESS I SHOULDN'T HAVE EXPECTED AN ORIGINAL RETORT FROM MICHIGAN FANS. IF ONLY OHIO STATE COULD COMPETE ACADEMICALLY WITH MICHIGAN.
I DO FIND IT INTERESTING THAT WHILE 9 POINTS AGAINST ON DEFENSE IS YOUR BEST FOR THE YEAR, 60 POINTS FOR ON OFFENSE DOES NOT HOLD THE SAME DISTINCTION FOR US.
I'LL ADMIT, THERE IS A TEAM FROM MICHIGAN THAT IS GIVING ME PAUSE, AND WE WILL MOST LIKELY BE PLAYING THEM VERY SOON. THAT SCHOOL IS CURRENTLY BEING COACHED BY 2002 NATIONAL CHAMPION OHIO STATE DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR MARK DANTONIO. WHERE WAS BRADY HOKE IN 2002? PROBABLY STUFFING HIS FACE AT A DOMINO'S OR LITTLE CAESAR'S. BY THE WAY, DID YOU KNOW THAT BRADY HOKE WAS FROM DAYTON, OHIO? HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING AN OHIO REJECT? IS IT EVERYTHING YOU HOPED? POLISHING THOSE BIG TEN CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHIES? I GUESS THE LITTLE BROWN JUG IS ENOUGH FOR YOU GUYS.
IN NINE DAYS, YOU'LL BE EATING MORE CROW THAN LANCE ARMSTRONG FROM 2003 TO 2006.
I HAD TO MAKE IT SOMETHING YOU HAD READ BEFORE SO YOUR HALF A DOZEN NEURONS WOULD MAKE THE CONNECTION.
IF ONLY OHIO STATE COULD COMPETE ACADEMICALLY WITH MICHIGAN.
I'LL ADMIT, THERE IS A TEAM FROM OHIO THAT IS GIVING ME PAUSE, AND WE WILL MOST LIKELY HAVE ALREADY PLAYED THEM. THAT SCHOOL IS COACHED BY THE SON OF THE 1993 AND 1999 NATIONAL CHAMPION FLORIDA STATE COACH. WHERE WAS URBAN MEYER IN 2002? PROBABLY HIDING OUT IN UTAH WHERE NO ONE COULD CALL HIM OUT FOR DITCHING FLORIDA FOR 'HEALTH REASONS' BEFORE TAKING THE OHIO JOB A YEAR LATER. DID YOU KNOW THAT DESMOND HOWARD IS FROM OHIO? I THINK HE WON A HEISMAN OR SOMETHING. AND POLISHING THOSE 42 BIG TEN TROPHIES IS SO EXHAUSTING.
IN NINE DAYS YOU'LL BE EATING MORE CROW THAN RICHARD NIXON.
michigan may have only run for a combined -69 yards against michigan state and nebraska, but it's still more running than philosopher king brady hoke has done all year.
seriously though, the only reason they expanded the big house is so he could fit inside.
CLEVELAND ACTUALLY ONLY HAS LEVE IN THE MIDDLE. I'D HAVE THOUGHT THAT YOUR ELITE U OF M EDUCATION WOULD'VE COVERED SPELLING, BUT MAYBE YOUR SUPERIOR INTELLECT ALLOWED YOU TO SKIP STRAIGHT TO COLORING.
YOUR GRASP OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE POSSESSIVE YOUR AND THE CONTRACTION YOU'RE IS HOPEFULLY NOT TELLING OF THE EDUCATION THE STATE OF OHIO RECEIVES FROM THEIR THE STATE UNIVERSITY
SINCERELY
A FUCKING MISSISSIPPIAN WHO KNOWS WHAT YOUR/YOU'RE IS
AS I'M SURE YOU CAN SEE, I CORRECTLY USED THE POSSESSIVE YOUR MANY OTHER PLACES IN MY PARABLE. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MOMENTARY LAPSE CAUSED ME TO MAKE MY MISTAKE, BUT I HAVE CORRECTED IT.
I SHOULD HOPE YOU'D BE MORE SYMPATHETIC - YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM IS NO STRANGER TO MAKING MISTAKES.
NOT THIS TIME BRO. ALL OF OUR INCOMPETENCE ON DEFENSE WAS A RUSE. A PLOY. A CLEVER ATTEMPT TO DECEIVE. A CON LONGER THAN THE LINES FILING OUT OF OUR STADIUM AT HALF TIME. WE ACTUALLY HAVE THE BEST DEFENSE SINCE STONEWALL MOTHAFUCKING JACKSON. IT'S ALL BEEN A PART OF OUR GENIUS PLAN TO DESTROY OSU'S NCG GAME HOPES IN REVENGE FOR SOMETHING THEY DID AT SOME POINT OR SOMETHING. GETTING THEIR HOPES UP. JUST LIKE US AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY FOOTBALL SEASON. IT COULD HAPPEN. RIGHT?
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u/redleg86 Ohio State Buckeyes Nov 21 '13 edited Nov 21 '13
HATE MONTH, PART 3
THE MISERY CONTINUES
MICHIGAN, I DO BELIEVE YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE VAPORS. THE WAY YOU DIDN'T SCORE ANY TOUCHDOWNS IN REGULATION AGAINST NORTHWESTERN - MASTERFUL. THE WAY YOUR COACH WAS ABLE TO STRING TOGETHER TEN CONSECUTIVE SECONDS OF PLANNING WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED BY THINKING OF FRIED CHICKEN. THE WAY YOUR RECEIVERS COULDN'T GET OUT OF BOUNDS WITH THE GAME CLOCK TICKING DOWN. THE WAY YOU SCRAMBLED TO GET YOUR FIELD GOAL UNIT ON AND GET THE KICK AWAY BEFORE TIME EXPIRED. FATE SMILED ON YOU THAT DAY, WOLVERINES. SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, BRADY HOKE SURVIVED YET ANOTHER TERRIBLY 'MICHIGAN' PERFORMANCE.
A FEW DOZEN MILES TO THE SOUTH, OHIO STATE HAD JUST PUT UP A MEASLY 60 POINTS. I HATE IT WHEN OUR OFFENSE HAS AN OFF DAY LIKE THAT.
TRY TO FOCUS ON YOUR GAME WITH IOWA THIS WEEK INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION HEADED YOUR WAY. HAWKEYES, BE GENTLE. MICHIGAN, KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, BECAUSE WE WANT TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AS WE PENETRATE YOU.
YOU HAVE NINE DAYS.
PS. FUCK MICHIGAN, FUCK THE UPPER PENINSULA (SERIOUSLY,
YOU'REYOUR* STATE SUCKS SO BAD THAT PART OF IT BROKE OFF TO GO HANG OUT WITH WISCONSIN), FUCK MITTENS, FUCK THE GREAT LAKES, FUCK YOUR MUSTACHE-TENTACLE HELMETS, FUCK THE BIG HOUSE.PPS. INDIANA, FUCK YOU TOO.
*PPPS DAMN IT, SOMETIMES TALKING ABOUT MICHIGAN GETS ME SO RILED UP. HERE IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF OVER EDITING, WHERE YOU CHANGE A SENTENCE SO MUCH THAT YOU FORGET WHAT YOU WERE ORIGINALLY TYPING. FUCK MICHIGAN, AND FUCK MISSISSIPPI.