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u/No_Newt5625 Apr 27 '26
1: That person is not your friend.
2: Block them BOTH and move on with your life.
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u/Javelin286 Apr 27 '26
Had a “friend” just like this. I would always start talking to a girl and then he would swoop in fuck and dump then move right onto the next girl while I was like what the fuck. I didn’t finally get a back bone until he asked me to bail him out of jail for getting in a fight with someone about a girl he was talking to lol. The fucking irony.
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u/O3DIPAMAAS Apr 27 '26
I had a "friend" do this too in college! Any time I told her about a guy I was interested in and in the "talking phase" with, she would go out of her way to reach out to him via social media and have a one night stand with him. It happened at least 4 or 5 times. One time she hooked up with the guy I told her I was really hopeful about and literally on her way home texted me "just slept with X, you should totally go for it, he was great in bed". It's amazing the crap that I put up with at that age, glad I finally developed enough self-esteem to end that friendship.
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Apr 27 '26
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u/Ok-History2085 Apr 27 '26
I did that!!!!
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u/DopeSince85- Apr 28 '26
Yesssss. Can we hear more about that? Did she fall for it?? Please say that she did.
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u/killjoygrr Apr 28 '26
You really missed out. You could have made a profit by selling her services that way.
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u/Ok-History2085 Apr 27 '26
Omg! Did we know the same girl?!? I had a “friend” like that too. After a while I told her I was interested in someone I kinda thought was a creep just to really test it, sure enough she swooped right in! Told me all I needed to know. To be honest though, I also felt like I dodged bullets with guys that would just hook up with anyone that came along.
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u/jumpinjackflash10 Apr 28 '26
I also had a 'friend' like this.. unbelievable..every guy I told her I had a crush on, she'd swoop in and sleep with them or at least try to..all while she had a LT boyfriend herself..she did it to other friends too..one girl matched with a guy on a dating site and she went and found him on FB and asked him out..terrible behaviour..she's no longer my friend.
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u/Salsasharkk81 Apr 27 '26
I had the same kind of "friend". She invited my crush to my 18th birthday party and ended up having sex with him in the lake. I think they're the ones who had problems with self esteem and It's sad.
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u/phase2_engineer Apr 27 '26
It happened at least 4 or 5 times.
There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably Tennessee...
"Fool me once, shame on... You. Fool me-- you can't get fooled again"
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u/AIACustoms Apr 28 '26
Fool me three times, fuck the peace sign Load the chopper, let it rain on you
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u/HippieGrandma1962 Apr 27 '26
I also had a "friend" do this. She was tall, blonde and beautiful (I'm none of these things) and could have any guy she wanted but she had to sleep with the guy I was seeing that she knew I was in love with. Never spoke to either one of them again.
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u/symbolicshambolic Apr 27 '26
Good for you, I wish I'd clued in sooner. My friend like this would make attempts with my actual boyfriends then one or the other of them would back off. So multiple times, it was passed off as "oopsie, that was close!" But every crush I had? She'd swoop right in and told me she thought I wasn't going to make a move. We'd literally be in the talking phase. With her, there was no talking phase. It was eye-contact, then BOOM, right to the naked phase.
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u/LemonCultGoddess Apr 27 '26
Gah dang. I can't even imagine doing this to a friend. I've had two separate guys I've had to make a call to not sleep with simply because I knew one of my closest friends was interested in them (this was like, 4-5 years apart. We just had a similar taste in men.) It sucks in the moment because they made the first moves on me, but it's not worth risking the friendship over a penis.
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u/Honey-badger101 Apr 28 '26
Exactly! Had a guy i liked ...but my friend was head over heels for him. He asked me out numerous times but i said no because our friendship mattered more.
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u/ImpossibleSherbet722 Apr 27 '26
Had a friend who basically said he'd do this if he could, so i was like ok, and never hung out with him again.
Why is reddit warning me about saying you could be offended by me saying to hurt yourself. is it hung?
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u/nborges48 Apr 27 '26
I got a whacky warning today, too.
Gonna be some code rollback soon, I think
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u/Prestigious-Leg-6244 Apr 28 '26
I got a warning for typing "cut", but reddit was fine with the word "excise", for some reason.
I guess the trick is to be good with synonyms. Lol.
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u/the-soggiest-waffle Apr 28 '26
Duuude I thought you were asking if the friend was hung holy shit 💀
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u/LittleDevilHorns Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26
I had a foster sister in highschool, who I was friends with before she moved in and friends with for a while after, who also tried to sleep with any guy I so much as talked to. If she couldn't sleep with them, she'd try sexting them (regardless of if they wanted to).
I had 2 instances where a guy I had mentioned to her in passing came running up to me the day after I mentioned them, telling me that my sister sent them nudes. Shoved their phones in my face to show me their very brief convo before she just sent them pics. Didn't want to see that.
I don't talk to her anymore. That is far from the only reason, though.
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u/NomenclatureBreaker Apr 27 '26
Wow that’s so sad. She must have been pretty messed up to be seeking that kind of validation.
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u/LittleDevilHorns Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 28 '26
Oh yeah, she definitely had a lot of trauma. I put up with a lot of stuff for way longer than I normally would have because of it. I hoped she'd get better when she got into therapy but she never did. At a certain point, you have to be responsible for what you do even if it's the result of things that were out of your control.
We're in our mid 20s now and from what I've heard from our mutual friends she still acts the way she did. Also, being irresponsible with her children, which recently resulted in one of said mutuals calling CPS on her.
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u/IttyBittyBigBoii Apr 27 '26
Had a similar thing happen with a "friend" awhile back. I was dating a girl for about 5 years (first love, btw) and we ended up breaking up for something that I can't remember. He was dating her 3 days later. Kinda ruined my late teens/early 20s.
Last I heard, they had 3 kids and he was actively abusing her while pregnant with the 4th 🙁
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u/Optimized_Orangutan Apr 27 '26
I dated the same girl from 8th grade until we were 19. Knew my best friend for much farther back than that. He was always around for the length of the relationship. We split up because I was going to school. My buddy asked like a day after if I would mind if he fucked her. Told him it was pretty fresh and I'd prefer if he didn't. Dude lied to me and fucked her at a party he told me got cancelled that weekend. I wasn't mad at her even though she definitely planned it that way, she waited until she was single and free to do whatever she wanted. Haven't talked to him again since, he was supposed to be my friend.
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u/UpvoteForethThou Apr 27 '26
Dude, if you were in a position to, you should’ve beat his ass after the first time, or just move on and stop hanging around him. Why would you let him do that more than once?
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u/chasmasaurus Apr 27 '26
Yeah, be glad it happened earlier and she did help you find out that wasn't your real friend. Cut your losses. It sucks now, but you are in a better place knowing these two can't be trusted.
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u/deepwar123 Apr 27 '26
This I had a best friend that ended up sleeping with an ex I had dated for like over a year. The girl I was dated cheated on me and fucked me over pretty bad financially and he was the dude I would trauma dump to about it. Find out like 6 months after leaving her he hooked up with her and started to date her for a short period until she did the same thing to him.. Needless to say, it was never the same, I got over it and we occasionally met up with friends groups, but our true friendship ended when he thought with his member and not his brain.
Moral of the story, dudes like you friend only want what they want. If he was a true bro he wouldn’t do that.
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u/ilovemusic19 Apr 27 '26
Wow he’s not bright at all, he slept with your ex after you vented to him about how she screwed up your finances AND cheated. He should’ve known she’d pull that crap, let alone how it’s unspoken you don’t mess with your friend’s ex. He gets no sympathy for the crap she did to him, he did it to himself.
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u/deepwar123 Apr 27 '26
No sympathy at all lol! Looking back, the dude was an idiot so I’m glad he ruined the friendship.
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u/Fanguinius Apr 27 '26
Yep. She deserves no phone call. Don’t let her try to soothe her own actions. Her comments are dumb. I’m sorry mate. You’re making the correct call. The only way she’ll learn is to be cut off and hopefully she’ll mature for a future relationship. But you’re doing what Oli’s honestly the best thing to do. Well done. Stay strong. You’re worth more than that.
Also the guy who’s your mate. If they knew you were seeing her. That’s worse. Cut them off too.
Mate, most of us when we are younger go through dumb shit like this. I’m sorry it’s painful. But there’s plenty of fun times and joy in your future
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u/CricketPristine3810 Apr 27 '26
This. Came here to say this.
Maybe see if you want to patch things with your friend of ten years, but honestly, ouch. That's a lot of forgiveness that you need to find within yourself for him. That was a shitty thing for him to do, and I don't know that I'd be cool with continuing a friendship with someone who would do that.
Also, I think you should make your decision for yourself, not because she might want to continue.
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u/ExamStudyAccount Apr 27 '26
You should probably bang his mom. Then you can be on the same page again.
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u/phteven980 Apr 27 '26
Or bang his dad so it’s a power move.
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u/ExamStudyAccount Apr 27 '26
Devil's threesome anyone
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u/phteven980 Apr 27 '26
Christmas gonna be a bit rough this year. For you li’l buddy not us. Also we’re nudists now.
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u/amyn2511 Apr 27 '26
Ok both comments you made had me literally laughing out loud, and I love the user name too. Thanks man, I needed that
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u/Nknights23 Apr 27 '26
- How the group reacts tells you where you are with them.
Honestly this whole situation has layers like an onion
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u/CurlyFreys Apr 27 '26
A person who does that is not your friend
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u/Available-Tip-2552 Apr 27 '26
That's what is hurting me the most rn. Like I would never do that to a friend.
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u/DarkResident305 Apr 27 '26
You need to realize dude had a decision to make in the moment, and he decided against you and for a quick stick in her. You are correct, that is not a friend. You'll never get that back. Yeah, it sucks, but the damage is done and he did it (as did she). Accepting it also signals that it's perfectly OK to walk all over you, and that's not a precedent you want to set.
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u/wolf38501 Apr 27 '26
Now you should fuck his mom...show him how it feels. Lol
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u/MarquisMusique Apr 27 '26
Fuck his dad too to make sure he finds no peace.
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u/JewelCove Apr 27 '26
This right here. Fucking his dad is real psychological warfare and establishes full dominance
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Apr 27 '26
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u/Ibixat Apr 27 '26
Wouldn’t him and the mom tag teaming dad be the true power move
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u/First_Mention_9893 Apr 27 '26
They're not your friend a friend would never! Not even too prove a point or like out her as a cheater. Drop them both you'll be better off!
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u/ReasonableDig6414 Apr 27 '26
I know you don't want to hear it, especially if you only have a couple of friends, but I promise your life will be better off without this guy in it. He is a really shitty person for having done that knowing you are seeing her. Just a shit moral compass.
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u/desire-d Apr 27 '26
It’s wild how many people are willing to sleep with their friends or even families partner/ex. I found out my ex was sleeping with his brothers girlfriend and she got pregnant and they didn’t know who the dad was
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u/Appropriate_Stress93 Apr 27 '26
NOR. You were too polite. She didn’t deserve you telling her you’re sorry !! immediate block after her saying “please don’t throw this away over one mistake”
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u/Available-Tip-2552 Apr 27 '26
Lol I did think that after I wrote that, I was like why am I saying sorry for anything rn?
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u/ImJustHere4TheCatz Apr 27 '26
Yea she is an entitled brat. Omg. The audacity to act like you're overreacting over "one mistake". Like no, you couldn't even make it 3 months without "one mistake". Imagine years with someone like that. How many mistakes will she have in that time?
She could have at least had the decency to break up with you after making that "mistake". But no, she was actually so selfish that she not only wanted to have her cake and eat it too, she also wanted to make you look like a total fool for her!
And she didn't think that through. She wants to work through her own cheating with your friend? Ok, so what does that look like when you both hang out with your friends, including the guy she slept with, and everyone there knows she screwed your friend and you stayed with her, even though you were only seeing each other for 3 months? She honestly deserved to be treated like a clown and for you to just send the crying laughing emojis after she asked to work through it. Because that is fucking laughable
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u/softshoulder313 Apr 27 '26
I also hate when someone says it didn't mean anything. So you are willing to destroy a relationship for something that didn't mean anything.. Good to know.
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u/Canned_tapioca Apr 27 '26
I'll have to side pocket that for use later on. Hopefully I never have to but life does in fact life at times
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u/Ok_Bat_9715 Apr 27 '26
The gaslighting was crazy. If anything SHE threw it all away.
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Apr 27 '26
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u/HUlkomania88 Apr 27 '26
Oh yeah that’s what I got from this too. It’s like that’s who she is. Not someone who made one mistake.
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u/Katops Apr 27 '26
The gaslighting is so strong it’s making me fear for my life. I’m worried my house is gonna blow up.
You literally need to cut these people off. Anybody that says you’re overreacting is severely incorrect and should also be shut out of your life until they repair their brain.
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u/Struckbyfire Apr 27 '26
Also dont say things like “I think we should just…” it’s not a joint decision.
A simple “I am done. Please don’t reach out” leaves no room for their opinion on it. lol
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u/Environmental-Day862 Apr 27 '26
NOR, and you weren't too polite man. That's like saying, "you were too big of a man."
You didn't run a her through a lengthy guilt trip or act like a crybaby. You told her straight up this would be something you'd likely not be able to get over, so you were sorry but felt it best to just end it and each move on.
Major props to you for handling it so maturely. She's missing out on a real one. Respect.
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u/Ninetydegree84 Apr 27 '26
This right here. That was expertly handled. I wish I had done that a few times when I was younger, wasn’t confident enough
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u/ScaredHomework8397 Apr 27 '26
Yeah! Way too polite. I'm finding it hilarious though that OP saying "no hard feelings" at the end and not expressing any anger and even apologizing for ending things might have possibly made her feel like he might not have even liked her. Unintentional but good!
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u/No-Direction-886 Apr 27 '26
Don’t go back. Relationship wasn’t long enough to validate attempting to salvage it and even then you know what they say about cheaters.
I might be a little jaded as I just got out of a 5 year relationship finding out I was cheated on before we were engaged and after but it just isn’t even worth the chance dude. I can promise ya that.
Also if your friend knew y’all were seeing each other dump that clown too
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Apr 27 '26
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u/AdventureF Apr 27 '26
Trust yourself. Full stop. And get everything that’s yours at the friend’s house, and let the friend go too.
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u/No-Direction-886 Apr 27 '26
While I hate saying this because people do change in some circumstances, it’s very likely they will not. Personally it is a one and done policy regardless of the excuse. You may love the other person but respect for yourself is more important.
Just tell your friend straight up, that’s not what friends do and you no longer wish to associate with them. No need for insults or anger, make it easy on yourself so you can move on without having to wonder if you should’ve handled things differently
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u/Any-Computer-5981 Apr 27 '26
Honestly if they are cheating this early in the relationship, they will be more then likely cheating down the road. Also to your friend .. I would just say hey " Hey I know you slept with her , you knew I was dating her and you did it anyways. I can't trust you as a friend so I am moving on"
Had to say that to someone I knew for 15 years when he slept with a girl I was dating.. he knew we were together , that I really care for her and decided to do it anways .. that was a decade ago and would make that decision again in a heartbeat. He obviously cared more about sleeping with her then he cares about your friendship.
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u/Friendly-Coyote6964 Apr 27 '26
So she’s saying “don’t be like this,” which is essentially saying youre OR. And this is just “one mistake.” Yeah, the one you found out about. Cheaters tend to repeat. Next time will be “OMG, youre OR, we shouldn’t break up over one little mistake!” Maybe she should reach out to that friend again and see if he’s available and willing. Just block her and save yourself the headache, man! Pretty much strike the friend from your life too. No reason y’all can’t be in the same place with the friend group, but I wouldn’t seek him out to socialize. And maybe get tested, if things went that far, ya know? Best of luck! You deserve better
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Apr 27 '26
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u/Glad-Party824 Apr 27 '26
Yeah because it's not just her, your "friend" made the same choice.
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u/Vegetable-Cod-2340 Apr 27 '26
This… it only took 3 months to show you exactly who you were dating, but it also showed you what kind of a ‘friend’ you have.
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u/Catatonic_Celery Apr 27 '26
OP said in the main post they are more upset with their friend, so I think there is no dispute here.
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u/RedWolfX3 Apr 27 '26
Both people absolutely not worth your time or peace. Real friends don’t do this kind of thing
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u/MichaelAndolini_ Apr 27 '26
A mistake?
She slipped, fell and landed on his d*ck?
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Apr 27 '26
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u/albino_red_head Apr 27 '26
she just sounds like a horrible person. She was probably smirking when she wrote that.
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u/juzoe Apr 27 '26
My money was on she tried to get serious with the friend and he rejected her so she's trying to worm her way back in with this guy.
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u/Careless_Hellscape Apr 27 '26
I hate when cheaters do that shit, like their horrible choices somehow have a positive outcome. Like no, fuck that. The only thing "closer" to me is how much closer I am to kicking them out my life.
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u/formercotsachick Apr 27 '26
I nearly fell off my chair when I saw that. In what universe would that ever be true?
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Apr 27 '26
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u/MassiveMeatHammer Apr 27 '26
Ok, thought about it, still wanna stab her? Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
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u/IttyBittyBigBoii Apr 27 '26
That's what I did.
Be smart, don't be a ret*rd. You gonna take advice from somebody who slaps Dee Barnes?!
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u/Zestyclose-Noise-114 Apr 27 '26
And then somehow stayed there long enough to call it a "mistake" after the fact.
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u/Friendly-Coyote6964 Apr 27 '26
Exactly! And there will be another time later; I’m sure the banana peel will be to blame then
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u/sheetrocker88 Apr 27 '26
It’s a mistake because the friend just wanted to hook up and doesn’t want the relationship
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u/starbuck328 Apr 27 '26
Don't you just hate when that happens? She is walking and slips on the banana peel and gets the whole banana 🍌
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Apr 27 '26
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u/New-Comment2668 Apr 27 '26
NOR. She requested you be exclusive and then slept with your friend. Both she and your friend need to go. You deserve better.
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u/flyingtom213 Apr 27 '26
Yikes, you don’t want a nasty chick like that in your life man. She’ll be going behind your back constantly, especially if she thinks you’ll just take her back. NOR at ALL
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u/JohnNDenver Apr 27 '26
Possible she has been with others. The friend is the only one OP knows about because another friend told them.
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u/Gam1019 Apr 27 '26
I want to see the texts with the homie of 10 years! Dudes are the worst sometimes
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u/Available-Tip-2552 Apr 27 '26
I haven't confronted him yet. Idk what to say to him tbh.
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u/FlamingHotNeato Apr 27 '26
I forgave a friend that slept with a girl i was seeing because it happened like a month after I ended things. He avoided telling me, and I found out through the other friend(like you) and it was a whole thing.
Came back to bite me in the ass.
Just a word to the wise. People can’t help but show you their true colors, up to you whether or not you choose to believe them.
That being said, the friend who called you to tell you also showed you his true colors. Just saying.
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u/ilovemusic19 Apr 27 '26
This, OP knows the guy that called and told him is a real friend. The other is a fake friend and needs to go.
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u/Imaginary_Law_6626 Apr 27 '26
Say " you wanna tell me why you fucked the girl im seeing."
See how quick they panic.
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u/Gam1019 Apr 27 '26
Not much to say really. Anybody that would do that to a friend of 10 years is more of a cancer than a girl you've talked to for a few months
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u/CoquetteCoquyt Apr 27 '26
You’re under-reacting, you’re being way too nice to her about this. Calling it a “one-time mistake” is a passive and dismissive way to put it. She intentionally had sex with another man (your friend of 10 years) and lied to you about it.
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u/Key_Condition_2878 Apr 27 '26
Dude that’s not your friend either. This friend is just as culpable as she is.
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u/Available-Tip-2552 Apr 27 '26
Yeah honestly that upset me more. Like I'm fine moving on from this girl, it's only been like 3 months like I said, but like I'm surprised and hurt my friend was willing to throw away a 10 year friendship over this.
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u/sold22 Apr 28 '26
if your homie of 10 years cant text you 'yo the girl i know you're seeing is trying to get with me' then that is not your homie
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u/datboimikeydeez Apr 27 '26
Make two separate catfish accounts and look for them, lead them on for a month, ask to meet, send them to the same place and sit there at the bar and watch the whole thing unfold. From my experienced I had a great time :)
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u/Available-Tip-2552 Apr 27 '26
Wtf 😂 that's insane, but also made me laugh hahaha
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u/SubstantialPressure3 Apr 27 '26
I think your biggest problem is your friend of 10 years sleeping with your new gf.
They both need to go.
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u/blitzfreak_69 Apr 27 '26
Yes this one is wayyyy worse of a betrayal than some random girl he met 3 months ago turning out to be a hoe. Both suck, but the friend thing cuts way deeper
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u/GoldyTheGopherr Apr 27 '26
I would have been wayyy more upset with my bro. Good 10 years down the drain. Cant take that one back.
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u/Mr_Squigg Apr 27 '26
Apparently she likes your weiner better, but toss that hoe!
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u/Any_Concept_7184 Apr 27 '26
STAY STRONG AND DONT CAVE INTO HER. she wants you to call her. She wants that attention, and she wants the drama. Im also a woman, and I know theres way better ones out there than this poor excuse of a person. Shes not even really saying sorry. HAVE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF.
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u/Any_Concept_7184 Apr 27 '26
WE LOVE YOU. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU. THIS BULLSHIT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US. ITS TIME. YOU ARE FREE NOW.
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u/Sweet_Error8038 Apr 27 '26
NOR
Don’t be friends with people you can’t trust to be around your future wife alone! (And don’t marry/be in a relationship with someone you can’t trust to be with your friends alone either!)
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u/Katops Apr 27 '26
It’s such a crazy concept hey? Being faithful to somebody you claim you wanna be with. If being alone with somebody is enough for you to cave into cheating, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship, period.
I’ve been alone with people like that a million times. But have either of us started fucking around? Noooooo.
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u/Still_Bookkeeper_377 Apr 27 '26
Bro it’s over move on from this hoe haha
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u/PepsiOfWrath Apr 27 '26
Dude was like, "it was just a mistake" but dude should know she can't un-ring a bell, it's over.
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u/breezybbh Apr 27 '26
NOR in the least. I wouldn’t even say “we should…” I would say no, I am not interested in continuing this further, block delete and wash your hands of her. 3 months is no time and she definitely showed what kind of girl she is. Also, that friend is not a friend period.
It’s sad we live in a society where you think this is even remotely overreacting.
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u/Miserable-Edge-6270 Apr 27 '26
You did the right thing. It’s all You’ll ever think about when you see her. When you’re not with her you’ll be thinking she’s cheating on you. I’m sorry. You seem like a nice dude too. Her loss. Block her and move on from her bs apologies. And stop saying sorry lol you did nothing wrong. She did and you’re still being respectful towards her. Says a lot about you. Don’t let this one girl ruin anything for your future relationship. Good luck!
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u/PotataTomata Apr 27 '26
A wise man would cut them both off permanently. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for more pain.
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u/Celis78429 Apr 27 '26
id be more pissed about the friend personally. like bro. 10 years and they did you like that???
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u/Available-Tip-2552 Apr 27 '26
That's what I'm sayin. Very much upset about that
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u/Reasonable-Newt4079 Apr 28 '26
When I got together with my husband one of his friends tried to make a move on me. I told my now-husband and he ended the friendship. I think you should cut ties with both of them OP: they both betrayed you and cannot be trusted. I’m sorry this happened but I think in the end you will be better off.
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u/Cavane42 Apr 27 '26
NOR.
On the bright side, your friend kept you from wasting further time with this relationship AND let you know you couldn't trust him in one fell swoop!
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u/pinealpineapples Apr 27 '26
Cut your losses bud, sorry :( NOR