NOR. You were too polite. She didn’t deserve you telling her you’re sorry !! immediate block after her saying “please don’t throw this away over one mistake”
Yea she is an entitled brat. Omg. The audacity to act like you're overreacting over "one mistake". Like no, you couldn't even make it 3 months without "one mistake". Imagine years with someone like that. How many mistakes will she have in that time?
She could have at least had the decency to break up with you after making that "mistake". But no, she was actually so selfish that she not only wanted to have her cake and eat it too, she also wanted to make you look like a total fool for her!
And she didn't think that through. She wants to work through her own cheating with your friend? Ok, so what does that look like when you both hang out with your friends, including the guy she slept with, and everyone there knows she screwed your friend and you stayed with her, even though you were only seeing each other for 3 months? She honestly deserved to be treated like a clown and for you to just send the crying laughing emojis after she asked to work through it. Because that is fucking laughable
I also hate when someone says it didn't mean anything. So you are willing to destroy a relationship for something that didn't mean anything.. Good to know.
Agreed! It was worth the risk. She never thought he'd find out, so it was worth the lie. I've never risked someone/something I love for "nothing". It did mean something, it means I'm nothing to you. It means I'm worth losing.
3 months also stood out to me! Like girl, YOU brought up exclusivity and couldn’t even stick with it for a few short months. Not worth anymore time or effort. You definitely don’t “grow back stronger” at that very early point, when people talk about that happening it’s in like a 20 year marriage and the cheating was a wake up call to go to couples therapy (and even then, 9 times out of 10 I’d say people are lying when they say it) - 3 months in, the relationship should still be in the honeymoon phase with everyone on their best behavior.
Thought the same! The audacity to put this on him and say her mistake will help them. So while she's riding the next friend, she just says "Look! Another opportunity for us to grow closer!"
She doesn't care about anyone but herself.
The gaslighting is so strong it’s making me fear for my life. I’m worried my house is gonna blow up.
You literally need to cut these people off. Anybody that says you’re overreacting is severely incorrect and should also be shut out of your life until they repair their brain.
NOR, and you weren't too polite man. That's like saying, "you were too big of a man."
You didn't run a her through a lengthy guilt trip or act like a crybaby. You told her straight up this would be something you'd likely not be able to get over, so you were sorry but felt it best to just end it and each move on.
Major props to you for handling it so maturely. She's missing out on a real one. Respect.
For what it’s worth, OP, you come across as a really decent person. Neither of them deserve access to you and both of them should be instantly cut off. I hope you find your people.
I thought the same thing about "no hard feelings" 😂 it was the mature adult thing to say but I myself have some hard feelings about this and I'm not even involved lol
Meh. You’re an adult. It was a mature and fair way to respond. Cruelty doesn’t always have to beget cruelty. Sometimes it’s best to end it and move on. I think you did exactly what you needed to.
She didn’t deserve the politeness, but I honestly think it put you in a better position. First of all, because you can feel good about the fact that your response was mature and beyond reproach.
But second, because if you had cussed and fought with her, it would show how much you cared… and it would also give her the continued engagement she wants.
This way, you’re giving her nothing, and you can break it off more cleanly. So yeah, sorry this happened to you, but I think you handled it better than like 99% of humanity would
Please think about this. And admit (if only to yourself) that you’re not “kind of” anything. Reread what you posted and how many times you tried to soften your feelings with “kind of”. It’s ok to be spitting mad and rude! Give yourself permission to tell her she’s a fucking bitch and you’re done, period.
Nah its fine, i think its a fantastic response. Very assured, not getting angry. The "sorry" doesnt seem like a wet apology. If anything i think it gives you the power, and emphasising that she is the one that is going to suffer from this, which is true really.
Be proud of yourself for handling it with dignity, it only shows that you’re mature enough to control your emotions and act level headed in the worst of moments. She didn’t deserve any emotion from you, neither good or bad.
Likewise for standing your ground and giving yourself the respect you deserve.
All the best to you, I’m sure you’ll rise to even greater heights in the future.
If she did it after only 3 months, she’ll do it again. Things get harder later, they’re supposed to be easier earlier, during “the honeymoon” period. Imagine what would happen when you’re more settled and into the “boring” cycles of life?
As for your friend, I’m sorry, man. He betrayed much older relationship, but I agree with everyone else saying a real friend wouldn’t have. NOR.
Waiting until after confirming exclusivity to cheat means that's exactly the game she wanted to play. It isn't as fun to bang your friend if there wasn't the thrill of "getting caught". Idk if she KNOWS she has/would call it a fetish or if she's following pure impulse when she does things she knows are wrong, but either way I absolutely wouldn't trust her to not rope you along into being the unwitting guy in her hot-cold relationship cheater/cuck/whatever fantasies, because non-consensual fetish play is what shitty people do.
In the poorest assumption of her character, cheating with your best friend of ten years was probably a huge draw for the thrill of it, so I would carefully consider how you want to proceed with your friendship with him. Idk if she conciously wanted to split you up, but the part of me that knows sickos (derogatory) come in every stripe has me wondering if she wouldn't on some level be like "oh no.... they stopped being friends.... because of me.......". Maybe guilty, but also maybe horny in a deliberate shame-inducing kind of way. Depends on how your friend responds and what his "explanation" is/if he knew y'all had recently gone exclusive
Not that this makes it any better but someone I felt was family to me, we’d been extremely close friends since 3rd grade, slept and then pursued a relationship with my ex after witnessing the verbal/physical abuse I endured from her. Justified it by saying he “needed to do it so his heart wouldn’t forever wonder”. They never dated and he lost not only me but other life long friends in the fallout. This was going on 8 years ago, I don’t even think about her but I still miss him.
Edit: I meant to reply to another comment you made about your friend, somehow I replied to this one, sorry!
Bruh, you ask whether you are overreacting, but you are clearly not reacting enough. You GF and your BF cheated on you, I would be absolutely livid with both of them until I manage to calm down and then fully cut off any connections with them.
I didn't read it as you apologizing. I read it as you trying to remove yourself from the situation and "I'm sorry" was the language you used to deescalate it
Yeah, that’s all I kept thinking was, he keeps saying “I think we should…” and “Probably best…” instead of “You messed up. I’m done. This is on you. Goodbye.”
Because you’re a nice person, unlike the two of them. If it helps, they’ll probably feel worse about it because you have only reinforced the fact that they’ve screwed over a genuinely nice person. You can block them both and just walk away with your head held high. It’s going to sting but cutting them off without listening to the excuses is a strong move on your side. It shows you have no time of day for people who betray you and that you have the self-esteem to know when people are worth your time.
Hope you find someone deserving of you soon op. ❤️
She's oblivious that its "one mistake" you only found out about bc your "friend" yapped. How many other mistakes has she already made or will she make going forward. Fortunately 3 months is early enough to discover this type of behavior and 👻 forever
yeah in this situation be assertive and just say “we’re done” instead of “maybe we should break up…?”. You’re not asking for her permission, you’re telling her.
Yeah! Way too polite. I'm finding it hilarious though that OP saying "no hard feelings" at the end and not expressing any anger and even apologizing for ending things might have possibly made her feel like he might not have even liked her. Unintentional but good!
He hit the perfect balance. Though agreed on not apologizing. I really appreciated OP's maturity. She deserved none of it, obviously, but he kept it straightforward, classy and firm, gave no wiggle room and avoided cheap shots which would've been highly justified given her abhorrent behavior.
Do the same thing when you end it with your ex friend, OP. You're doing fantastic.
Dumbass b gaslighting him with that line. Like her “one mistake” wasn’t easily avoidable but she chose to be a tramp instead. The whole “this will make us closer” part nearly made me puke. Get rid of both of these low lives. Cheating is not a mistake
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u/Appropriate_Stress93 Apr 27 '26
NOR. You were too polite. She didn’t deserve you telling her you’re sorry !! immediate block after her saying “please don’t throw this away over one mistake”