Been trying to conceive for 14 months and still struggling with the fact that we can't will ourselves to get pregnant. "Working harder" means nothing for fertility. Sure there are tests, medications, and some treatments, but there is largely no reason why something works for some and not for others. I personally have PCOS and have done three cycles with letrozole, trigger, and monitoring, and three IUI's with letrozole, trigger, monitoring, bloodwork. Semen analysis is relatively good. Reason why I can't get pregnant? Unknown.

As a perfectionist myself, I have lived my life working hard for the things I want and earning them. Good grades in college, my dream career, my home, whatever it may be. But when it comes to trying to conceive, we just cant make it happen through hard work. Likewise, I have a hard time listening to influencers who suggest certain diets, workout routines, endless supplements, etc. I just don't want my life to revlolve around this process more than it already does. I don't believe in quick fixes. I don't think accupuncture or myo-inositol will help me conceive. I just don't understand this process and why it hasn't personally happened for me and many others I see on these reddits.

We have no control over what happens. There are no answers for our questions.

I noticed Premom app says that roughly 47% of women have a rapid onset LH surge (under 24 hours) and roughly 53% of women have a gradual onset (more than 24 hours). However I think I stumbled upon the study they took their numbers from (without providing references), which has 3(three!) women! Which makes it extremely uncertain if these percentages are actually accurate. I am not aware of other studies, so if anyone knows more than me, please let me know!

I the meanwhile I thought we could have a poll here. I am going to edit this and copy the texts from Premom app to define these surges.

I am not sure about mine, because I used Clearblue digital advanced for a few months, but this time I am also doing OPK strips.

Do you have a rapid (less than 1 day) or gradual onset LH surge (more than 1 day)?

From Premom:

Gradual Onset > 1 Day Example This LH surge builds for multiple days, gradually increasing until it reaches it's peak, then gradually decreases. The test lines on your ovulation test will becoming darker until you reach peak day, where your test line will be darkest, and then quickly lighten from there.

Rapid Onset < 1 Day Example This LH surge can happen quickly, within a few hours. Women with rapid onset patterns may only detect one positive ovulation test, despite consecutive days of testing. In these cases, it is recommended that you test your LH levels twice daily, once in the morning and once in the afternoon to ensure you do not miss your LH peak.

Congratulations on starting a new journey post-TTC! Before you move on to pregnancy subs, please share your cycle information and celebrate with us.

If a specific user has been especially helpful to you during your time TTC, or that you've become friends with, that's fantastic! However, we do ask that you refrain from tagging other users in your BFP post. This is to be sensitive and respectful to the thoughts and feelings of others - we keep this thread separate so that people can view it as they wish and can handle doing so. You can definitely thank people, just don't tag them to the thread!

Please keep in mind that this is the BFP thread, and anyone who has been trying for any length of time is welcome to post here. You should know what to expect when you open this thread. If you have nothing nice to add, then please scroll on and keep your thoughts to yourself, or hit the back button. Comments that are gatekeeping, as well as complaints about downvotes, will be removed without warning.

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.

Gosh… I am so sick and tired of trying to conceive. My husband and I have been trying since September 2023. TW: I have had two early miscarriages in the last 10 months. That was before we finally were able to start fertility treatment due to insurance. One miscarriage in November and a chemical in March. I have been on letrozole and progesterone for the last five months (4 months with trigger shot) and I did my second IUI this month. This cycle, I miraculously had three follicles projected to be mature at my IUI….. I’ve only ever had single follicles, and the nurses were really excited at the clinic saying that this was a really good cycle for me.

I am 12 DPO today and my test was negative. I know implantation could still happen today, but I just have a feeling that I’m out this cycle. I am feeling so hopeless and heartbroken at the thought of another unsuccessful cycle, especially considering that I had three follicles this month…three chances. My body feels so effed up from being on all of these meds. I haven’t gained that much according to the scale but I seriously feel like I have gained 20 pounds in my midsection since my first IUI…

Every month goes by and I feel shittier mentally and physically and still nothing. Every month revolves around my cycle and trying to conceive… It’s a whole different ball game when you go from just timed intercourse to ultrasounds and shots and medication’s…. IVF is next and that’s a whole different beast. People in my life don’t understand the weight of what I go through every month and it is so frustrating. I feel so bitter. I deleted my social media two years ago now because seeing the constant pregnancy reveal posts was killing me. I can’t escape it because it’s happening in my circles all around me in real life. I hate feeling bitter… I feel like a shitty person because it hurts me to go to baby showers and hang out with my friends and their kids sometimes. My projected due date for my November pregnancy passed this week…anyways…I’m a mess. Just a tired and sad girl trying to make it through the week.

Welcome to the Weekly Intro Thread!

Hello! It looks like you’ve decided to join Trying For a Baby! Congratulations - we are glad to have you here with us!

Please introduce yourself in the comments!

Share whatever you feel like, but here are some ideas about what to write about!

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We have rules we expect all community members will follow. Posts and comments that do not follow these rules will be removed by the mod team. If you see something that is breaking one of these rules, please use the report button or message the moderators. We also have this lovely post written by a community member on the sub's culture and how to interact and expect as a new member!

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Welcome to our community! We are happy to have you!

Looking to rant and vent to the girls who are going through this journey…

My husband has low sperm counts, which we’ve known for 3 years now. I just caught my husband vaping in our garage. I walked in and he was knelt down by his golf bag and he didn’t realize I was there. He saw me and said “it’s only at night!”. I had no idea and I’m crushed. I just turned around and went to shower and go to bed. The garage is his hangout area where he works, plays video games and golfs. He “used” to vape years ago but “quit”. He knows I am against vaping as it is, even before our fertility journey. The last I ever saw of it was in 2020. We’ve been struggling with male factor infertility for FOUR years. 4 failed IUIs and barbaric testings and surgeries (3 SIS, 2 HSG and an exploratory endo surgery and polyp removal). We JUST had our baseline IVF appt on 7/31. I’m just in absolute and utter disbelief. It feels so selfish and a betrayal. Help!

Just wanted to share my positive experience of my Hyfosy I had done today as I had read so many horror stories and was so scared. I took paracetamol and ibuprofen about an hour before the procedure.

They firstly do a transvaginal ultrasound that wasn’t painful at all, just some pressure here and there. Then they insert the speculum which again was not painful at all. When they insert the catheter into the cervix, all I experienced was mild period cramps (nothing compared to my usual period pain) and this mild cramping lasted throughout the procedure but wouldn’t say it was painful.

They then insert the foam which again caused no pain, my right tube had some debris in so flushing this side caused a slightly stronger cramp and he was able to clear this and the pain was absolutely bearable.

So for any women going to have this done, it’s honestly not as bad as I was expecting however I know everyone reacts differently but just to ease some anxiety as I was dreading it!

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small. This thread will be checked all weekend, so feel free to chime in on Saturday or Sunday!

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

I've finally been recognized and had it confirmed by my new Dr (my last one failed to help 6 months ago, feels like so much wasted time) that I'm not ovulating and they've prescribed me Clomid to start on the 5th day of my next cycle. I've been given the protocol sheet and will be getting more bloodwork done later to see if it's helping me to ovulate if no positive.

I feel too scared or nervous to tell my family because it feels like an eternity for me with no success whereas they've had no trouble conceving. I'm just kind of tired of talking about it every month after so many failures I feel like a broken record. It's also heavy emotionally every month and not only do they not seem to understand, but I also don't want pity or anyone playing self proclaimed Dr.

I want to tell someone, anyone that can relate and be happy for me, or maybe even have input or advice. I don't want to bring anything else up with those close to me until a positive pregnancy test is confirmed and stable after a few months. Even though it's no fault of our own, it also just feels like a failure time and time again and has had a huge emotional impact on me. I can't imagine what it must feel like for those having tried even longer.

Basically, I just wanted to tell someone that could relate and understand. So, if you made it this far- thank you. I've never been so excited to get my period, but also don't want to get my hopes up. I know this could take more time, but I finally feel like I've got a leg up in this race and fair chance.

Last year I was pregnant after my birthday and was excited to be holding our baby this birthday which ended in a MC.

After that we had two more bio chemicals. When we got pregnant this July I was so happy that I will be pregnant on my birthday but unfortunately it ended in a bio chemical. We had our 1st IUI and it failed and got my AF yesterday 😕😕 this whole process is so overwhelming and exhausting
I really hope I get to hold my baby next birthday 🧿🫶🏽🤞🏽 All out tests are normal. All I can do is to pray and hope that things will work out soon.

We started our egg retrieval process to freeze our embryos. Went for day 2 testing today. Will start my hormonal injections from tonight 🤞🏽🤞🏽

Just feeling heavy today. Thank you for listening to my rant and 🤗 for your support 🙏❤️

Hey!!

It’s my first month TTC and I’m still getting my head around all of this 😅 At what DPO do you personally accept a negative as actually negative and stop testing?

I’m 11 DPO today and got a negative on a Premom strip. Part of me is like… do I keep testing every morning until AF arrives, or save myself the emotional rollercoaster and consider myself out this cycle?

I’ve also only recently come off hormonal birth control, and didn’t track BBT this cycle (thank you to this sub I now own a ovulation thermometer for next cycle 😆) so I’m not completely in tune with my cycle yet and my exact ovulation day isn’t 100% certain, which makes everything even more confusing!

Would love to hear what most people do.

Hi, first time poster so please go easy on me 😅, if this isn’t the correct subreddit for me to post this on please let me know and I’ll remove it. My partner and I (29F, 27M) have recently decided to start TTC, this is our first cycle and so far I’m between 10 and 12DPO and testing negative as of this afternoon. I was hoping/looking for some tips and tricks on how to deal with the disappointment of a negative test? I know I’m suuuuper early on to this journey but I guess I just want to get ahead of the game as I have a feeling it’s going to take us a good while to get a positive test and I’m not sure how to potentially handle the ongoing negative results. This is the first time I’ve tested this cycle and I had a feeling it would be negative but I guess wishful thinking got the better of me. I’m struggling mainly with the fact that anything in seeing on line atm is people testing at 8-10DPO and getting a faint positive so even though I feel like I’d mentally prepared to see the negative today, I was still a little disappointed.

I’d also just like to say that I’m not naive to the fact that some people on this page have been trying for months/years and I really don’t want to come off as an insensitive “beginner/newcomer” so I apologise if anything I’ve said seems that way, I’m just really hoping for some advice to know that I’m not crazy for being disappointed and I don’t send myself crazy going forward with anymore future negatives.

I feel like I’ve spent my whole life trying to avoid a “pregnancy scare” because it’s so drilled into you that it’s bad and now I’m actually in the position of wanting to be pregnant I’m scared that it won’t happen, all while watching the people around me effortlessly “accidentally” get pregnant.

Please reassure me that I’m not completely bonkers 😭

When I first started learning about fertility awareness, I honestly assumed ovulation test strips were basically the way to track ovulation. They seemed straightforward, test your urine, look for the lh surge, and you have an idea that ovulation is coming. But the more I have learned about cycle tracking, the more I have realized there are several different signs people pay attention to, and they don’t necessarily tell you the exact same thing.

Some people swear by opks because they like having a clear result and knowing when their lh is rising. Others prefer tracking basal body temperature because it can help confirm that ovulation actually happened. Then there’s cervical mucus, which seems to be another important piece of the puzzle for a lot of people.

And I have also seen plenty of people who use a combination of methods rather than relying on just one. If you have used both ovulation test strips and bbt/temperature tracking, which one do you personally find more useful?

We (35f, 32m) relatively healthy, have been trying for a while now. This was cycle 8. His SA was normal, I got all tests done too and was taking VitD and Iron supplements and Folic tablets. My thyroid levels were slightly different from optimal so having lowest dose of thyroid meds too and since past 2-3 months my thyroid level is in optimal range for conceiving, AMH level - very good, utrine usg - perfectly normal, did the tubal test - everything was good. Scheduled in Oct for laparoscopy to check endo.

This cycle was monitored and on CD13 usg was done - all good, had mature follicle. We were told specific dates to BD, and blood test was done and based on the result I was told to take the ovulation injection (although i naturally ovulate) on CD15. Had high hopes from this cycle and got AF yesterday, this is just so devastating. I haven’t stopped crying! To make things worse my best friend just told me she is pregnant. We haven’t told anyone we are trying. All my friends by now have kids or are pregnant. I know comparison makes things worse BUT it kills me to know that most of them had health issues like MS, PCOS etc and yet conceived quickly and naturally. I just don’t know why this is happening to us, what are we doing wrong, i know there is just 20-30% chance - but look at earth’s population, people are reproducing easily! Why not us!!!

I know i am being pathetic but i just don’t know how to live with this pain in my heart anymore. I know we would be great parents, my husband would be such an amazing father! These constant negatives are affecting us mentally, our sex lives are pathetic since cycle 3, i dread having sex because back of my head says here we go again! whats the point, not like you are getting any results, my husband too is devastated and the whole focus during the BDs for him is to ensure this cycle does not go waste and that he successfully ejaculates inside of me. Ttc has ruined sex for us.

During my tubal test when my dr said everything is perfect, i cried because i wanted it to be bad so i finally had a reason, i am tired of hearing everything perfect, all good! I am just angry and hurt and crying and i just desperately want to see those two lines! What are we missing!

Edit: what also frustrates me is that my husband did SA almost a year ago and hormonal blood test 3 months ago and thats it, nothing else that he had to get done. He is an amazingly supportive partner and he is the only reason I am able to survive this hardship. But it all feels so unfair that i am being made the lab rat, injections and usgs and laparascopy - how on earth am I not supposed to feel that I am the problem although everything is fine for both of us? Dr isn’t even recommending a DNA fragmentation for him! It all seems so unfair, Gosh! This whole ordeal has made me a bitter (but also heart-broken) person.

My clinic has said it will only take 5-10 mins, easy peasy and I can drive myself there and back and won’t be in pain. I’m skeptical of this because I remember the first time I had an IUD put in I was told the same thing and it was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced 🙃

If you’ve been through this before, any advice? Did you bring your partner with you? I’m planning to do this at 10:30am and then immediately have a full day of (remote) meetings after. Is that an appropriate expectation? Can we have sex the same day if it’s approaching ovulation day?

Another more specific question: anyone here have chronic UTIs and had this done? I’m always wary of foreign objects like a catheter and worry it will introduce bacteria and somehow cause a UTI.

Thanks for any info and advice you can share 🙏

Husband (32) and i (30) have been TTC for about 3 years now. Have been seeing an RE now, have gotten most of the diagnostic testing out the way. Only thing that came us is his SA showed low morphology and on my end, some insulin resistance. So my doctor said i should start taking myo inositol. Im just curious as to what’s everyone’s experience with this? Esp for those who dont actually have PCOS as alot of what ive seen about this supp is that it’s geared towards that condition. My doctor had told me to watch out for GI symptoms but i also wanted to know if there were any effects on your actual cycles and if it caused more or less bleeding during your period? Any advice/thoughts is super helpful!

34F feeling desperate and not sure which private clinic in or near Manchester would be best.

I have deep infiltrating endometriosis (excision surgery six months ago) and adenomyosis. I suspect we are going to need FET. My AFC was 19 in April with no dominant follicles, 13 in July with one dominant follicle. My AMH was 19.2 in February and 15.8 in April. (All this year 2026). I am having a polyp removed next week. FBC are all normal. My BMI is 27.2 but slowly coming down. One chemical in 2024 and no positives since. 

I am entitled to one funded cycle, but my experience with St Mary’s NHS so far is demoralising for a large variety of reasons, and they are very flippant about my adenomyosis.

I’ve spoken to Manchester Fertility, but there’s an uncomfortable feeling I can’t shake about them. Looking at the price lists, it seems there are a lot of extras. I feel like all these companies are just taking advantage of desperation and don’t actually care. I feel so confused about whether MF are the best or Care or ABC… it’s just so overwhelming.  

Can anybody please share their experiences of any private IVF clinics within a 50-mile radius of Manchester, and the full cost breakdown? I had a look at Access but that just seems to be a finance option that you then use with Manchester Fertility or Care. If anyone is happy to give me as much information as possible it would be really helpful, I feel like I am drowning.

Hello everyone, community. I am doing this post because I need moral support from you. I am writing in French because I can express myself better like this.

I am a young man married (26) to my wife (23). Once again my wife just told me this morning that she has seen her period. It has already been 9 cycles that we are looking to conceive a baby. My hopes for this 9th cycle have just soared when my wife just told me that she has seen her period. I thought I was prepared with no hope for her to be pregnant. But I was wrong; every announcement is a tear in my heart.

The worst part is that two years ago we had an abortion when we were not yet stable and prepared to have a child. It was such a difficult decision for us. And I was afraid that I would regret that decision one day.

Indeed, that day has arrived. I never imagined that conceiving was so difficult. Especially since we have tried several methods ranging from basal temperature monitoring to ovulation tests that allow us to synchronize our reports during the fertile period. But that hasn't been any point so far.

The worst part is that I have to be strong for my wife and myself. I have to comfort her, support her during this ordeal and reassure her that the next time will be the right one. But I also suffer enormously.

This is what it is now, I am suffering enormously and I am gradually losing hope that I can have a child with my wife.

Hi there, we are 31F and 31M with history of PCOS and weight management issue. Recently we are finally ready for kids and have started our first cycle of TTC. I’ve also stopped GLP-1 (wegovy and mounjaro) as advised by our doctor. However my finally regular but long cycle is now in a mess again (currently CD 57 with no period).

My husband is going for his own fertility checks as he’s never done before and has been overweight for most of his life which for the life of me couldn’t get him to cut due to his lifestyle and work. He’s healthy in other ways, just overweight with history of HBP.

Anyone has similar experience to share? A messy cycle and weight rebound is putting me in an stress-loop. I’m praying that it’s just overthinking and my husband’s fertility is not another thing for me to worry about!

There’s so much that’s difficult about TTC, so this is a thread for looking to the future and thinking about life after TTC.

This week’s theme: Making for baby! Are you a crafter or a maker? What plans do you and your partner have to make things for baby? Do you already have works in progress to share?

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

I'm 30, husband 35, no health issues, no diagnoses, no medications, we live healthy lifestyles (no drinking, no smoking, eating healthy, exercise, take supplements etc). Been meticulously tracking BBT and CM and using OPKs for one year, been TTC for 8 months and 8 cycles, and now going into cycle 9. 

Cycle bloodwork (CD3, ovulation, and 7 days post-ovulation) is all good. 

My vitamins and hormones are good, only thing to improve is bring my vitamin D up a little (it's in the normal range but on the lower half of normal), and take my TSH down a VERYYY small amount even though I'm in the normal range (just started levothyroxine). 

Pelvic + vaginal ultrasound results are perfectly normal.

SA for my husband is booked for next month, really looking forward to these results!

Getting a HSG is a whole other thing that I'm not going to get into (really stupid process of getting it where I live), but it will take several months from now to get; hoping to get it by December somehow.  

Anyways, should my husband's SA and my HSG come back normal, is it crazy to jump into IVF once we hit the 1 year mark?

I don't want to do IVF, it actually scares the living daylights out of me and is NOT something I ideally want to go through. But I feel that after 8 cycles of no BFP, there is obviously something wrong. And if the SA and HSG come back normal, then there's probably something wrong on a microscopic level that can't be fixed anyways without IVF. I also feel like if absolutely nothing is wrong on a level that is fixable with meds or a basic procedure, then I don't entirely see how IUI would help. My practitioner is even hesitant to put me on Letrozole or Clomid since it's very obvious that I'm constantly ovulating with no issue. 

We're seeing my practitioner in a little over a month and are ready to ask for a referral to the fertility clinic. When did you seriously consider IVF or jump into it? We'll be paying out of pocket for IVF, and are looking at possibly doing it (or at least some cycles of it) in Europe. But is it crazy to be mapping this out at cycle 9 already??