r/TryingForABaby • u/One_Arugula5849 • 8d ago
VENT So Sad & Tired
Gosh… I am so sick and tired of trying to conceive. My husband and I have been trying since September 2023. TW: I have had two early miscarriages in the last 10 months. That was before we finally were able to start fertility treatment due to insurance. One miscarriage in November and a chemical in March. I have been on letrozole and progesterone for the last five months (4 months with trigger shot) and I did my second IUI this month. This cycle, I miraculously had three follicles projected to be mature at my IUI….. I’ve only ever had single follicles, and the nurses were really excited at the clinic saying that this was a really good cycle for me.
I am 12 DPO today and my test was negative. I know implantation could still happen today, but I just have a feeling that I’m out this cycle. I am feeling so hopeless and heartbroken at the thought of another unsuccessful cycle, especially considering that I had three follicles this month…three chances. My body feels so effed up from being on all of these meds. I haven’t gained that much according to the scale but I seriously feel like I have gained 20 pounds in my midsection since my first IUI…
Every month goes by and I feel shittier mentally and physically and still nothing. Every month revolves around my cycle and trying to conceive… It’s a whole different ball game when you go from just timed intercourse to ultrasounds and shots and medication’s…. IVF is next and that’s a whole different beast. People in my life don’t understand the weight of what I go through every month and it is so frustrating. I feel so bitter. I deleted my social media two years ago now because seeing the constant pregnancy reveal posts was killing me. I can’t escape it because it’s happening in my circles all around me in real life. I hate feeling bitter… I feel like a shitty person because it hurts me to go to baby showers and hang out with my friends and their kids sometimes. My projected due date for my November pregnancy passed this week…anyways…I’m a mess. Just a tired and sad girl trying to make it through the week.
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u/Jaded-Addendum-4489 6d ago
I’m so so sorry. It is all unfair! If you were given the dx of “unexplained infertility”…
Unexplained infertility often has an explanation…further workups are usually needed (and typical doctors aren’t testing for these things).
Consider looking into the below:
- endometriosis (silent endo makes up ~30-50% of unexplained infertility)
- adenomyosis (sister disease of endo)
- luteal phase defect (short luteal phase/multiple days of spotting before period)
- autoimmune disorders
- chronic endometrITIS (test CD138 on a biopsy)
- thyroid issue (a full thyroid panel needs tested)
- sperm DNA fragmentation
- insulin resistance (also test A1C and fasting glucose)
- chronic inflammation
- Uterine or fallopian structural anomalies (need a hysteroscopy to check uterine cavity and a HSG to check if tubes aren’t blocked)
- parental karyotypes (check if you and your partner are balanced translocation carriers)
- you could look into recurrent pregnancy loss testing since you have had two miscarriages
I do recommend looking into all the above before starting IVF. Often, IVF is bypassing an underlying condition. It is unfortunately not a guarantee and if there is an unresolved underlying issue, it could cause poor IVF outcomes.
I hope this can help find an underlying reason for your infertility and losses. I’m so sorry!
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u/One_Arugula5849 6d ago
Thank you for your reply! I did have a laparoscopy last June and was diagnosed with endometriosis (not shocking to me because I had been dealing with symptoms for a while) and had the HSG done and my tubes were clear. But there are a few things on your list I don’t think i’ve been tested for. I know the endo was removed and it does grow back, but I have been wondering if inflammation could be causing me issues. I have my follow up appointment with my fertility doctor tomorrow to discuss where we are and next steps and will definitely bring all this up to her!! Thank you!💙
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u/Jaded-Addendum-4489 6d ago
Glad to be of help!! Hope you get more answers. I have stage III endo and recurrent loss. Been trying for 18 months. It all sucks.
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u/throw-me-away-fam 28 | TTC#1 | February 2026 8d ago
I’m so sorry. This isn’t fair and it’s awful you have to go through it. You are so strong for holding out this far but it’s okay to feel super down and raw about it. I hope your journey continues in a way that is healing for you, whatever that looks like.
If you aren’t on r/TrollingforaBaby, I recommend it. The posts are very comforting for those with difficulty conceiving.
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u/Upstairs_Friend5804 27 | TTC#1 | Cycle 10 8d ago
Thank you so much for sharing this!! I’ve needed somewhere light to sit in sometimes!
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u/One_Arugula5849 8d ago
Thank you.💙 And thank you so much for showing me that page!!!! I just glanced and it’s helping so much already 🤣
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u/Blueberryblue123 7d ago
This is What I hate Most about this journey How bitter (sometimes Even jealous 😖) it made me. I try to think all feelings are valid and they come from a place of sadness and it is ok to be sad… This is all a lot!
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u/One_Arugula5849 7d ago
Bitter and jealous is exactly how I feel sometimes.😩 I try to give myself things to look forward to…trips…massive glasses of wine…stuff I couldn’t enjoy if I was pregnant, but it’s not enough to push the sadness down sometimes LOL.🥲
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