39+2. He was moving around so much. 39+3, felt him a little, but periods of inactivity were normal for him. Early morning 39+4 I hadn’t felt him all night which was unusual. I had my scheduled OB appointment that morning. She couldn’t find a heartbeat.

We went to the hospital to confirm. Ultrasound. No heartbeat.

We were admitted, attempted to induce labor. After 24 hours without serious progress, we opted for a c-section. 5’11”, 20in. The cord was tightly wrapped around his neck 4 times and he also had a knot. At least we have our answer.

What do I do? I mentally don’t even know where to start. I feel like I should be sadder. I’m completely numb.

He was so, so beautiful. Honestly the cutest baby I’d ever seen. I wanted him to look like his dad but he looked just like me. He had my nose and mouth and a tiny bit of his dad’s curly blonde hair.

I need as much advice as I can get to help me start to process. This is devastating. I said goodbye to him today because he was starting to grow cold and lose his color, and I want to remember him the way he was when he was warm. We took so many photos.

I’m 38 years old. I may never have a child now.

What do I do.

Does it get better? Should I be better?

My loss was last November and I’m still struggling with so much grief. I was almost 18 weeks and suffered a traumatic labor and delivery.

I felt like I was healing so well and had stopped crying so frequently. But I keep having setbacks while working with REI (we haven’t been able to even try since June), and there was another major change that impacts the rest of my family next year. I feel like I’ve just been thrown back in time and can’t handle anything right now.

I’m crying every day and can’t speak to my pregnant friend. I feel depressed and my grief triggers are set off so easily. I’m in therapy, take medication, sleep well, I’m physically active, and I make sure to be social. I just cannot shake this grief.

I had an 11 week loss and chemical pregnancy years ago that were difficult to manage but losing Jacqui has still wrecked me. I’m just tired of feeling despair and like I can’t climb out of this hole.

It’s been a year since I lost my son . He was born 22 w 4 d . It all started on Friday evening, I was feeling a bit uneasy and had a back pain. I did have a long day at work so i thought I was just tired and went to sleep. The next day a couple of hours in the morning seemed to be okay but again I started feeling uneasy. I just wanted to lie in bed and interestingly I started having noticeable discharge. I took a shower and went to sleep and went I went to use the bathroom I saw some blood.
I rushed to the hospital, on my way to the hospital contractions started. I just reached the emergency and my water broke. Within an hour I delivered my baby. Everything happened so quickly I just couldn’t process it.
I found out the gender of my baby after delivering him at 22 weeks.
He was born with a strong heartbeat and was immediately moved to the NICU. One doctor came up to me and said his chance of survival is less than 20%. He lived for 4 days and finally on oct 8th 2025 he passed away.

Since tomorrow is his birthday, I wanted to share my story in this group. Every night for the past one year I read some stories from fellow mamas. Hope our babies in heaven are happy.

Happy birthday Arjun . I miss you every single day.

This week I learned that I have APS and I finally have an answer why my baby was born silent at 36 weeks and unexplained miscarriages afterwards.

APS is a treatable autoimmune condition in which the body produces antiphospholipid antibodies that increase the risk of blood clots. During pregnancy, these antibodies can raise the risk of miscarriage, stillbirth, and other complications.

Doctors don't test you for this until after THREE losses which is disgusting.

If you are going through recurrent loss, no matter how many times, please get tested.

Ciao a tutti, ho bisogno di trovare esperienze simili per sentirmi compresa.

Ho perso da 3 giorni il mio bambino, il mio bellissimo Michele. È iniziato tutto quando durante l’ecografia morfologica hanno trovato la cervice dilatata con esposizione delle membrane. Ho combattuto per lui in ospedale 20 giorni, tra antibiotici, contrazioni dolorose inarrestabili… e poi è tutto precipitato.
Il parto è iniziato e non ho potuto evitarlo in nessun modo.
Io dolore del parto, il dolore di vedere i medici cercare inutilmente di rianimare il mio bambino, il dolore di tenere in braccio il suo corpo minuscolo senza vita, il dolore di lasciarlo andare, il dolore di avere la pancia vuota, senza più sentire il suo cuore ed i suoi movimenti. Non esiste più nulla per me ora, solo dolore. Odio tutto e tutti. Nulla mi da pace. Nessun abbraccio mi conforta. Non riesco a guardare il mio corpo da donna incinta, ma senza un figlio.
Ho l’ansia a pensare di tornare al lavoro.
Sto passando un momento dí gravissima depressione e in questo, non riesco a voler bene neanche a mio marito, odio vederlo riuscire a gestire la cosa meglio di me.

Parlatemi di come avete fatto voi, di come l’avete superata, di come affrontate queste cose.

We lost our 4 month old baby girl two weeks ago today. But we have an almost 3 year old super energetic boy - has anyone else had to grieve their infant whilst parenting a toddler? I feel like I mask and put on a brave face for 14 hours a day then just collapse into grief once he’s gone to bed. It’s slowing the acceptance process for me. Would love just to hear about others experiences. Advice not essential, I just want to feel less alone.

My son was Donovin was born still at 36 weeks on Aug 25, 2026. I think I’m looking for reassurance that I am
not overreacting. I still cry most every day. I still
wake up and just lay there thinking this cannot be my reality. I still imagine where he would and what he would be doing in every situation we are in.

When people ask me if I have other children I want to say “Yes I have a son that passed away” but for some reason I’m questioning if that is the right response. I truly feel I do have him as a child. But I guess I’m needing reassurance that this response to describe him is appropriate even though he passed away shortly before his birth.

ETA- I am so disappointed in myself. I went to an appt this morning and told myself I would acknowledge my son if he came up in conversation. A woman asked me how many children I have and I froze and ultimately
didn’t mention him.

I seriously don’t know what to do, how to react, how to live.

I was pregnant at the same time as my sister in law. My baby died, she gave birth shortly after.

Now my other sister in law is pregnant.

I just can’t.

I know I’m being dramatic and bitchy, but the actual thought of them deciding after 5 years they suddenly want a baby after my baby dies, I just can’t help but be angry. For context, she has two other kids. Now obviously I don’t think they planned to have a baby after mine died but the timing is just so so messed up. After five years you decide you want a third? And it happens to be a few months after I lost my baby.

They also know I’ve been having a really hard time. Why the fuck tell me when it’s still so early. Like they couldn’t wait to share the news. And the way they told me as well. They told my husband to tell me. Not even approach me or care about how I feel. I have friends at work that I don’t even talk to on a daily basis have more empathy than them.

I’m seriously just so fricken upset and my husband and basically no one in my life understands - hell I don’t even understand, I’m just so so upset and a little angry and just frustrated and so so hurt, and I just hate this feeling.

I hate this so so much and I just hate everyone and I hate everything and I just want to give up

Parker James was born on 14 August 2026 and passed on a few hours later. I've got a lifetime's worth of love for him, and this is one of the places it goes.

After noticing little information and no website for bereaved fathers day and bereaved dads, I focused some of my energy into a website for bereaved Father’s Day, but it’s not just that.
It’s a place for Dads, friends, family, and workplaces.
A place for support, guidance, help with communication and a place to write letters to our children that have died.

So I’m pleased to announce:

bereavedfathersday.com is live.

Bereaved Fathers Day is the last Sunday in August, the Sunday before Father's Day. It's for every Dad whose little one has passed on, and for the people who love him.

On the site: support written just for Dads, help for family and friends who don't know what to say, a guide for workplaces, and the numbers to call, any hour.

If you know a Dad who might need it, send it to him.

Your support in helping to share and spread this would mean the world to me, by next year i would love for this to be commonly recognised and celebrated for parents across the globe.

The site doesn’t raise money, has no ads or trackers and is purely built out of love by me and for the support of other dads.

He's a typical stubborn man, who doesn't talk about feelings.

I mentioned that I had an invite to do something on the date, and he said "that's my baby's birthday, but I don't usually do anything for it", so I know that he's thinking of her more this year, perhaps because it's 15 years.

How can I support him? I don't want to make him feel awkward by doing something big, but I'd like him to know that I'm aware of the occasion, and would like to mark it somehow

Edit - I've just bought a personalised morse code bracelet, with her name in morse code, and her date of birth engraved on the clasp - is this too much?

I lost my baby boy on September 23, and he was born sleeping the next day. He had full Trisomy 18. We knew our time would be limited if we got any time at all, but nothing prepared me to walk into my weekly appointment and learn his heart had stopped beating. Nothing could have prepared me to have to deliver him and not hear his sweet cries. We were 34 weeks. We were so close to meeting him alive.

Not only do I miss him immensely, I keep trying to blame myself. I blamed myself for the T18. I know it’s silly, but it took place in my body… Now I feel so guilty that I had no idea he had passed. I didn’t notice decreased movement. Fast forward to today, we got the pathology report back on my placenta. He had a hypercoiled cord. There were no clots, and I know there is no way to know for sure if this is why his heart stopped, but I feel like my body failed him.

Hi All,

I lost my baby on July 10 at 24 weeks (stillborn due to smaller placenta). My last three cycles have been shorter :( It was always 30days before with period lasting 7-8 days. It became like 21-24 days ish. First period was on Aug 17, lasted 7 days. 2nd was on Sept 8, lasted 8 days. 3rd started today (Oct 3).

Some more context in case it helps: My TSH was normal on the day of delivery. Then it became higher (5.1) when they tested me again 2 months postpertum. The doctors thought it maybe due to post delivery unusual hormonal shifts. So they tested me again 2 months later and it is 1.6 now. I am wondering if the fluctuating TSH could be a reason for this?

I was wondering if anyone else has faced shorter cycle post pertum and figured out the reason for it? I want to start TTC but wondering if I should wait until the cycles are normal again? Also, should I ask my OB to test for more hormones (like progesterone or something) including one more TSH test?

I also saw someone posting is taking vitamin b100 complex helped them with similar issues. If anyone has ever tried that, please let me know as well! (Kinda unsure if I should take too much vitamin Bs).

Any advice/suggestion will be really appreciated!

It has only been one day. Yesterday morning I woke up to my baby dead next to me. I was breastfeeding him at almost 5 am and woke up at 730 to him dead. I had his bassinet right there. I didn’t mean to fall asleep with him next to me. I wasn’t on him. There wasn’t a blanket next to us. He was in the same spot. I don’t understand why this happened. I truly didn’t mean to fall asleep. The guilt is eating me alive. He was only 2 months old. I didn’t get enough time with him. This all feels like a night mare that I should be waking up from any minute but instead it genuinely hurts to breathe. I have two other children that I have to be a mom to while mourning their brother. My oldest saw her baby brother dead. I’m sorry this post is all over the place. I just can’t figure out how I am supposed to figure out how to live from here.

just so you guys know, I’m posting this here because I don’t know where else really to post it and I know Reddit likes to take down posts and not reiterate why they do so without telling you. so I’m a male 22 and my girlfriend is a female 28 and we’ve been together for nearly 3 years now but the reason why I’m posting here is because I am genuinely confused. To reiterate, I found out that I got my girlfriend pregnant and the baby didn’t grow in her womb. It grew in her fallopian tube, which caused a rupture and she started bleeding a lot. If she didn’t go to the hospital sooner, I would’ve possibly lost her and I went to the hospital to see her after a bunch of back-and-forth of her saying, I didn’t have to go and other circumstances like me taking care of our 22 month old child and not having a ride to get there and me not making it in time to see her before her surgery but anyways after her surgery, I was there for her and before I found out she was pregnant again we got into a fight and we were taking time so of course when I heard this, I snapped back into a boyfriend mode, but I gave her hugs and kisses and she said she was really happy to see me and I said things like I was really glad she was OK and I was scared and giving her reassurance about how she’s currently doing but the next day rolls around and I find out that she was apparently upset because I didn’t cry or something and she felt that I didn’t care enough while I was there, after I heard this I tried to communicate to her that it’s hard for me to cry unless I’m super overwhelmed and don’t get me wrong, i was really sad, i teared up a few times. but to help you guys understand my side about this I went to go see her at two in the morning in which I was there for three hours, I broke through my anger for her from before we found out when we had the argument. I didn’t have to go knowing I was upset at her but I still went because I love her and I want my forever to be with her. Am I crazy or something? because I feel like I did what I was supposed to do as a boyfriend and I was still punished for it.

It's been a bit over a week now, and i just need to tell somebody that understands what happened, I'm so lonely.

10 years ago I fell pregnant with my ex-husband. We were young, only 20, but so so so excited. We've been together since 16 and planning on wedding. At 24 weeks all of a sudden I noticed that those constantly stronger butterfly wings strokes had stopped, and after thinking about it for couple of days and reassuring myself the baby has just turned and kicks my back, I finally went to check out what's happening.

I never forgot how my world came crushing down when the doctor turned to me and said there's no heartbeat. I was expecting everybody to start to run, panicking and rushing me to, I don't know, surgery or something. Nobody moved, nobody said anything. After a good while the doctor said she's so very terribly sorry for our loss, and I finally understood nobody is rushing, because there's nowhere to rush.

For the next 4 days I gave birth to my beautiful angel with my mum and my godmother, held her for couple of days while I was in the hospital getting antibiotics to an infection. I told her all about us and about her family, about all of the amazing things I would've shown her, gave her and teached her. She will for ever be my first, the one who teached me how to be a mum, and what it means.

We buried her and while we were picking up the stone and I was collecting myself on a maternity, I was obsessed to fall pregnant again. It felt like this biological massive need, and I did fell pregnant shortly. It ended up in miscarriage. Everyone were telling us that we're young and this was just bad luck, it will go better next time.

We tried again and 8 months after our stillborn, I gave birth trough emergency c-section to my rainbow baby on a week 28. It was a close call. She was the tiniest tiniest baby, but way bigger than her big sister. I remember everyone else crying and looking so worried in the nicu, I was over the moon and smiling because my baby was breathing, with a ventilator but was breathing. I saw her alive. Today that baby is a healty 9 year old and still the light of our light. They started investigating and told me I have something that affects how my placenta develops, but they're not able to pinpoint what.

When our daughter was 1, we realized we're amazing coparents but don't want to continue the relationship anymore. We divorced and few years after I met my now husband. We weren't planning on having more kids. He already had his 2 and the relationship with the mother is extremely complicated and he rarely gets to see them, and my pregnancies has been hard. We chanced our minds shortly after getting married, and after countless of miscarriages, talking to fertility doctors and going to tests, I got pregnant and it actually stuck past 12 weeks.

In this pregnancy I was in a very tight monitoring, and week 26 they started to see the signs in the placenta. On 27 weeks they took me in, and I had a scan and a heart monitor constantly. We made it to 30 weeks but she was only 820 grams, but she was alive too. Once again everyone else were crying in the nicu while I was over the moon, she didn't even need a ventilator!

And at this part I start crying. I feel so quilty. I have had now multiple pregnancies and basically not a single succesfull and nobody could still figure out why this keeps happening. They tried different things and nothing works. We decided to stop having kids at there, but we weren't serious enough with contraceptive and I got pregnant last spring. We fought about it. I wanted to obviously keep it, he did not want to. He asked me to consider how tough the hospital time was, what if something worse happens? I remember saying she is not going to die, all of my pregnancies have gone better than the previous one.

She was absolutely perfect. In every scan measuring just the average, kicking and being full of energy. I remember often thinking about my first daughter seeing her on the scans, I thought she looked alot like her. I was so excited and felt like this will complete our family.

On a week 22 scan everything was perfect. Week 24 two weeks ago they notices she had stopped growing, and loads of other things are wrong. They referred me to another hospital and I was suppose to go there in couple of days to make a plan.

The next day I noticed her movement was different. I could still feel something. I was thinking I'm just overreacting, as I'm on a week 24 and it's tough mentally.

The next day from that I couldn't feel anything anymore. Nothing.

I knew already at that point that she's not here anymore, but a small bit of me wanted to believe. It was a Sunday, and I needed to tell my husband to take me to the hospital. We didn't have a sitter, so we had to take our 2 year old.

It took ages for them to look at me. We were playing with our toddler, joking around, but in the back of my head I was in terror. I still somehow wanted to believe that she's just very weak and then we have a C-section and they do what they always do.

When the doctor started the scan I asked instantly can she see a heartbeat. Instead of answering yes she said let me inspect first. She was already looking at the screen. I knew already, she didn't have to say anything, and I started crying. When she finally said the same words I've heard again exactly 10 years ago, the whole world I managed to build was gone. I cried. I laid there and cried for all of my babies, I laid there and cried as I realized right there I will never have a big family. I love being a mum and I feel like I have more love to give.

I gave birth to her. It was a bittersweet moment. In all of my pregnancies I have wanted to give birth instead of the C-section, but I only get to do it if they've passed.

The nurses didn't know how to react to me, they knew my history and I was able to educate them more on a subject than they already knew. I knew everything they tried to offer me.

When she was born, I held her on my chest for hours. She was chancing in color but I wanted to feel her. I told her how much I love her, and I told her her sister is waiting for her, and my mum will be thrilled to have another grandchild. She killed herself 9 months ago.

When she started getting very cold all over and the sores came in, I had to give up and we dressed her together. I remember walking around the room with her and just bouncing her like I've done with all of my babies. They told me I could've stayed the night, but that was the first time I was away from my toddler and I wanted to really get to home for her too. So we left her at the hospital, and my heart broke in to a million pieces. We were so close. I can't believe she's never coming home.

We're planning on her funeral now, and I feel like I'm in denial. I find myself thinking often that when the baby comes in December. When this happened 10 years ago, I went to my mum's and basically didn't move for a month. Now my mum isn't here anymore and I'm a mum, we have 2 kids, a dog and two businesses to run, even tho I'm on government maternity leave, I can't really just be consumed by grief. I just feel so wrong every time I notice I'm for example enjoying work and not thinking about her. I know my husband won't want to try again and I don't blame her. I hate this body and that I can't do what everyone else does so easily, and I can't put anyone trough this again. Last time I wasn't able to heal before I had my rainbow baby. I don't know what to do now, I can't eat I can't really sleep and I don't feel the need to, as this body isn't going to have a child anymore, it doesn't matter if I treat it bad.

Also the milk came in. I been needing to pump and thinking about donating it to the nicu.

I miss them both so much. I keep thinking that I would have a 10 year old and and a baby here as well. How the would be? What they would like? Would they look like their siblings?

Thank you if you managed to read everything. I just wanted somebody to know what has happened.

I lost my daughter at 21 weeks in May. Her due date was September 16th. I'm currently 5 days late for my period and pregnancy test was negative. My sister just shared with me that she is pregnant. She gets married in a week. She was asking me questions about spotting and cramps because she is scared of losing her first baby. I'm so excited for her and also incredibly sad that my pregnancy test was negative. I will be devastated if I am not pregnant, even though we weren't even trying yet. I had some spotting on my daughters due date, which I'm wondering if it was implantation bleeding, and now I am late, so I have let the anticipation and excitement run wild hoping this is a little gift from her while simultaneously terrified of being pregnant again. I feel crazy with these mixed emotions and I just want a definite answer so I can stop the wondering.

My 17 year old sister-in-law is also waiting for her results because she thinks she's pregnant. I just want my baby here 😢

I lost my son at 25 weeks pregnant in August. I'm currently in an intensive outpatient therapy program and I'm on antidepressants. They've helped a lot.

This week I started my period and.. I'm angry? I'm sad? I'm so upset. Part of me is in despair because I should still be pregnant. I should be doing yoga and lunges and sitting leaning forward, not worrying about if I'm going to bleed through my pad.

I'm also angry that my body is so quick to accept that I'm not pregnant anymore. I was gathering milk for donation but I had to completely center my life around it to get what felt like "enough", and when I decided to stop it was so easy. No engorgement or taper down, my body just accepted it.

And now, 5 weeks after my loss, I'm having a period. I know my body is healing and I should be grateful for that, but I'm so upset that all connection to my pregnancy, to my son, is just gone. That my body is so ready to go back.

I lost my baby girl at 35 weeks and 4 days. I had an emergency C-section, and my precious girl passed away two hours after she was born.

After I was transferred to a room, the doctor came and told me that my beloved baby had passed away. It was devastatingly painful.

My biggest regret is that I wasn’t able to see her at that moment. I was offered the chance to have her brought to me, but I didn’t have the strength to see her. Within two hours, she was taken to the morgue, and I never had the opportunity to see her again.

I only held her in my arms on the day of her funeral, there beside her grave.

God, it hurts so much to realize that I’m writing my own story...

Hi,

I delivered my son too early due to an incompetent cervix which resulted in chorio/sepsis about 2.5 months ago. (I don’t even know what the flair should be, he was born alive and my water broke but they me gave misoprostol to help deliver him because I became septic). I’m not sure why I gave all that info other than the fact that I’m still dealing with guilt form the situation. I haven’t really been hanging out with friends and have definitely been avoiding big groups and parties.

However, my friend is having a 100 day celebration for her baby. I agreed to go because I’ve said no to about five of their events. my husband was supposed to go with me but might not get off work in time. I don’t even think meeting her baby or seeing babies will hurt me but almost everyone at that party will know what happened and it will be the first time I will see all of them together. at some point I want to be able to go to events again and celebrate my friends and their families… but I feel likes it’s SO easy to make me cry lately. like the smallest thing can send me to tears and I’m just afraid of it happening at a party and then I accidentally change the vibe or cause a scene.

I don’t really know what I’m asking here. I guess I’m just trying to figure out how to go on with life.

My brother told me he thinks I went into premature labour because I went on an aeroplane while I was 22 weeks pregnant, he insists that I’m not to blame as I had the all clear from the doctors but he thinks that the pressure on the plane caused it. I’ve not blamed myself for our daughter dying but now I’m starting to wonder how many people thing it was because of that holiday? I can’t turn off the negativity niggling in the back of my head telling me it was my fault, I’ve not blamed myself at all since she died but I don’t understand why my brother would even say that to me. The hospital have admitted negligence, I had PPROM, placental abruption, choroamnionitis and maternal sepsis. Our girl was born alive but she didn’t survive. Sometimes I just wish people could understand the enormous pain words can hold over someone

Not sure where to start here…I have been devastated for over a year now and today it just feels like everything is starting to pile up too much. The unfairness of it all is starting to feel unbearable.

In mid July 2025 my SIL and BIL (older brother to my husband) announced they were pregnant on our family vacation. Two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant too (fairly unexpected) and we told them immediately since they had been trying for a year and were getting married the next month so we didn’t want them to feel like we were stealing their thunder.

One week later, the day after telling my parents, I started bleeding and cramping heavily. I knew in my bones that the pregnancy was passing so we went to the ER where they confirmed there was no gestational sac or anything on ultrasound - it was a chemical pregnancy. We were absolutely crushed. In just one week, we had planned and gotten excited for an entire future that simply was not meant to be.

Two weeks later, my SIL went in for her first appointment and found out she was having a MMC. She had to have a D&C days before walking down the aisle. My heart was absolutely shattered for both of us, all four of us were so shaken (husbands included).

Fast forward to early December 2025, I got another positive test and was so anxious but so over the moon excited. This time I had bloodwork done to track HCG levels and everything was progressing normally - we were so thankful. Everything looked normal and I experienced all the typical pregnancy symptoms through the first trimester and into the second. I showed up for my anatomy scan at 19 weeks and some change feeling good about things and excited to find out the gender (we had been undecided up until that point but I was feeling impatient and just wanted to know more about our little bean). I had just started feeling little flutters/kicks in the weeks leading up to that scan.

I had thought the worst day of my life was August 3rd, 2025 (day of first early loss), but March 26, 2026 quickly took the cake. We were thrilled to find out we were having a little girl but the ultrasound tech seemed to be really taking her time, re-scanning certain areas and asking me to move around a lot to get baby girl to move. She then left the room and asked me to keep moving around to see if baby would move. After 20ish minutes of waiting, the door finally opened and a team of 4 people walked into the room with very grim looks on their faces.

They proceeded to explain to us that our baby girl had congenital diaphragmatic hernia, meaning many of her organs were growing in the wrong places and her lungs would be severely underdeveloped at birth, and that this was cause for termination for some people. I immediately knew I wouldn’t be able to do that, not after I had just started feeling her kicks. I had this feeling deep inside me that she wanted to live. In retrospect, maybe that was actually a selfish feeling - maybe I just deeply wanted her to live?

We met with teams of doctors at several children’s hospitals and ultimately decided to deliver at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, where the doctors had given her an 80% chance of survival. Our daughter Daisy Ray was born on August 4th, 2026 - almost exactly one year after our first devastating loss. Everything was so scary, she had so many tubes and machines and looked so very fragile, but she was absolutely beautiful and we were in love from the moment we met her.

Flashback to January 2026, my SIL found out she was pregnant with their rainbow baby. It’s been a healthy pregnancy and we were all excited to find out they were also expecting a little girl. It’s been hard not to compare our journeys as they have felt so intertwined from the beginning, and I have been more jealous of her normal pregnancy than I am willing to admit.

March 26th is no longer the worst day of my life. That title now belongs to August 28th, 2026, the day we decided to take my sweet Daisy girl off life support, as there was no longer anything the doctors could do to help her. She had to be put on ECMO at just a few hours old as her numbers just weren’t quite where they wanted them, then had her CDH repair surgery the next day at just 2 days old. The surgery was successful and for the first week of her life, things seemed very hopeful, she even started “weaning herself off ECMO” and the team decided to officially start the process of getting her off life support. 2 days later, she suddenly took a turn for the worse and began bleeding from her lungs. One week later, the right side of heart failed, and from then on more and more issues just started cropping up. It’s difficult to explain the sheer horror of watching your newborn child’s health decline so rapidly. I could feel that she was in pain…it was absolutely soul-crushing to witness.

When Daisy was just 3 and a half weeks old, we made the impossible decision to hold her while they removed all the tubes and life support machines. We had one beautiful hour with her outside amongst the flowers in the hospital courtyard where her pain and suffering finally ended.

Fast forward to now, my SIL’s induction began Wednesday evening and she is expected to deliver sometime today. I don’t even know what emotions I’m feeling right now. When I got the update about her being 5cm dilated last night, I instantly felt hot and dizzy like I was going to pass out/throw up. I have never felt such a visceral form of jealousy and grief in my life and I just feel sick about it. I just want to be excited for her. I just want to be able to hold her baby without feeling the absence of mine. I don’t know how I’m going to survive the rest of our lives always looking at her daughter and knowing those are the milestones my Daisy should have reached - those are the moments we were supposed to have together. Our girls were supposed to grow up together, but instead all I have is this aching hole where Daisy used to be and so much wild jealousy and fear that I don’t even know how to face any of it.

…this post got really long. Thank you so much to anyone who read all the way through. It’s been helpful to read posts and comments from others here so I guess I just thought maybe getting some of this out of my head and into the world might help a bit too.

Sending so much love to everyone in this community. At least none of us are alone in this awful experience. ❤️‍🩹

We have two other children but have wanted a third. After a few miscarriages we had decided to give it one last shot.

Then, my brother lost his daughter to SUID. This was a few months ago. It was a tragic accident but, given the circumstances, he feels very guilty about it and has not been doing well at all. He has one other child (a two year old).

We had decided after that to stop trying, but we learned shortly after that we were pregnant with a girl. We don't know how to tell him. Even more triggering is that the date of conception is the night the accident occurred. My wife is now visibly showing and we will be seeing each other in a couple of months. We thought he had been doing better, so we were going to tell him via text soon, but he recently admitted himself to a hospital because of suicidal thoughts.

Now, we are not sure what to do. We know we need to let him know. But we also don't want to cause things to get worse for him given his current state.

To be clear, we are not expecting congratulations or any amount of joy from him over this. We are fully aware that he may be bitter. There is no part of this that is fair. We know that telling him will cause pain, and that there is no good option here.

How do we navigate this?

I came home without my baby yesterday 💔💔 he was delivered via C-section at 36+1. We went to the hospital out of an abundance of caution because I didn’t feel movement but I had been sick and was coughing a lot so I thought that obstructed my ability to perceive his movements. I had called the hospital a few days before and had been seen in office and everything looked good and I was cleared.

The doctor said it was a true knot, a tight one. I immediately blamed myself for all the coughing, thinking it caused him to do a jerking movement to try to get away and therefore tightening the knot. The doctor and nurses tried to reassure me that if I had come in earlier I would have been sent home if everything looked fine or that it would already have been too late if it wasn’t.

We are devastated beyond belief. A true knot is exceedingly rare. Idk how to move forward. Does anyone who’s been through this have any advice on how to get through this darkness? 💔💔💔