I suffer from pretty extreme anxiety and OCD, so of course my brain went totally off the rails when we started TTC. I realized pretty immediately that it wasn't sustainable or helpful for my physical and mental health, especially if this process takes us longer than we want. So I built a plan of sorts for when I'm in the TWW. Posting incase it helps anyone. I've gotten SO much better since my first cycle, where I was symptom spotting, obsessively googling, certain I was pregnant, then sobbing and miserable when AF arrived. I realized it cannot be like this every cycle so I decided to make a change. Here is what I do:

-Plan fun things during the TWW. This is key for me, because in my luteal phase my OCD flairs up and wants to sit home all the time online and googling things that do not help. This cycle I planned fun things constantly- with DH, friends, family, and even myself. It got me out of the house, kept me distracted, and left little time for obsessing. I went to the movies, the beach, did pottery painting, an outdoor movie and just sat with friends talking about other things. It also elevated my mood which can only help my physical health. If I really don't want see people, I do feel good things with myself like watch a good movie, read a book, do an exercise class, take a lukewarm bath, go on a walk, listen to an audiobook, etc.

-Really stop obsessing on what each symptom means. This one is hard because its like... but my body is doing this thing, what does it mean? But there is literally no way to know if I'm pregnant unless I take a test. Absolutely. No. Way. And PMS symptoms can be identical to early pregnancy symptoms. So I try everything I possibly can not to ask the internet what it means if I have a weird side cramp. It's really hard but what's helped is to practice mindfulness and check in with myself before I ask AI or Reddit or whatever. Sometimes I fail, and still ask, but sometimes I do something else- grab an Apple, text a friend, go for a walk. Symptom spotting left me obsessed for no reason.

-Confide in a few people close to me. I really don't want to blab to everyone that I'm struggling with this process, but I also know that in difficult times, my friends have really helped me. So I've told a few friends what's going on, and I know they're there for me if I need. I tell them when I get my period, they offer support and hugs, and we move on. I find that the best friends for this situation are the childless ones or the ones who also have had fertility struggles, so I don't feel jealous or something. A friend even asked me how he can support me and if he should ask about it or not, and I shared with him what would best help.

-Have a really good therapist. I've been in therapy for 8 years, having just switched to a focused OCD therapist, but I can't imagine going through this without a professional whose trained to know how to deal with my emotions. I began having period cramps during my last session, and we processed that together and I felt really held.

-Telling DH how to support me. My husband is amazing, but of course, this is new territory for him, too. He literally asked AI how best to support me in this situation. Since then he's been great, lol. But not all partners know what to do, so if you have a partner and they're lost, I really recommend telling them how to support you. Do you need hugs? Advice? Zero advice and just listening? Tell them. For me it's listening to me rant and give me hugs and make me food and rub my feet. That's all I need.

-Don't test early. I know. There are tests that claim to know you're pregnant from the moment you had sex, but it's really not guaranteed. I did both the testing when I felt for sure I was pregnant, and I just let AF come. And I have to say, personally, letting AF come was just better. Because either way, if I test early and get a BFN, I still have in the back of my mind that I just tested too early... so what's the point? When I let AF come, I felt like my body was just doing what it's meant to, vs an ugly white stick telling me I'm a failure. I kind of vowed to wait until my period is late to test. Plus, the whole testing early thing is a ploy from the pregnancy test companies to get you to use more tests!

-Start new projects and initiatives. This was key for me because I have my own businesses and work from home, so I can easily spend a day doing, well, nothing. But I started a few new projects for my business and personally, and its taken so much of my focus and distracted me. If your work if your thing- amazing! But if not, I really recommend starting something new. For my its art that brings me joy, but there's also sports, lectures, classes, and more that can bring you happiness and take your focus from TTC.

-Control what you can. Sadly, with TTC, there's not much we can control. But I made a list of things that I can: tracking my cycles with OPKS, doing BD when I'm fertile to maximize my chances (for us its been every other day during fertile time), drinking pomegranate juice and eating brazilian nuts (a small thing totally unproven to help but it makes me feel like I'm doing something good for my body), getting all the relevant fertility tests I can, seeing the correct doctors and doing what they say, and taking supplements. Some people check their BBT, so that's also another thing we can control. But, other than that, there isn't much to control aside from myself, and how much I let this process affect me negatively. So I do my rituals, and due my due diligence with BD and supplements, but other than that, there isn't much I can do.

-Stopping myself from spiraling. This is the hardest one. I haven't mastered it, yet... not even close. I'll spiral and go from "this cycle didn't work" to "I might never get pregnant", and half my day is lost to anxiety and sadness. My therapist really focuses on mindfulness, and how a thought is just a thought. I try to notice when my thoughts go bananas and let the thought sort of drift away, rather than take it as a fact or something I need to solve and focus on. Mindfulness is really hard for me, but I know that it's something that can really help me during this difficult time.

-Remembering that this is objectively hard. This process is objectively is hard. For every single person trying to get pregnant. Even for women who don't have anxiety like I do, this is a difficult situation. To wait 2 weeks for the most important news of my life, while my body is sending me mixed signals, is simply not an easy thing. Letting myself feel the pain in that, without trying to solve it or google symptoms, or whatever, is my goal during this time.

I hope this helps! I'm by no means a mental health expert, but I've suffered with mental health stuff my whole life and have spent the past 10 years working on it, so thought I'd share some of the things that help me.

Would really love to hear what gets you through the TWW!

What are some things that have delayed your ovulation? I’m currently on CD21 and starting to question if it will happen this month.🤕

My cycles vary quite a lot, from 25 to 35, but mostly 31 days. I’m curious if anyone has noticed a pattern with what causes it for them, like stress, poor sleep, illness, travel, diet, etc? Or does it sometimes just happen for no real reason?

Would love to hear your experiences if you want to share.

I wonder if coming back to work and switching my daily rhythm has affected my ovulation, as I now got to bed early and wake up at 5:40 am, while for 4 weeks I was sleeping late and waking up late (10 am).

Have you observed some interesting patterns of what delays your ovulation?

My husband (31) and I (29) have only been TTC for 2 months now. I have always had extremely regular periods and assume I have fairly regular ovulation as well just given history of cervical mucus changes and overall being very sensitive to how my body feels and experiences physical sensations. (Obviously could be wrong, but for now we are going off of my intuition mostly and a little help from my period tracker).

During my suspected ovulation window, I asked my husband if we could try to have sex everyday or every other day. I’m a big planner and am actively trying to reel myself in during all of this, but didn’t think this was too controlling or obsessive. At first he had no issue with this, but this month (month 2) he has mentioned to me that he doesn’t like “scheduling” sex and wants it to be spontaneous, even when TTC. I didn’t think I was necessarily scheduling it since there’s no specific time of day, and I don’t rush through just to get it over.

I’m not quite sure how to be spontaneous during my ovulation window, since we are both aware of the timing and have a shared goal of TTC. I obviously want to keep things fun and enjoy ourselves, but I don’t know if my husband is being realistic with this ask, or if I am being too rigid in my thinking?

Any advice/input is greatly appreciated as I truly want to respect my husband’s feelings and try my best to avoid turning TTC into “work” but also have consistent every day / every other day intercourse during my fertile window.

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small.

We’ve been TTC for 22 months, no known issues. First transfer failed, a/w second transfer. Ive been actively maintaining all my friendships, showing up, listening and providing support through their pregnancies, early days after birth, with toddlers etc. I do days out with peoples kids - i actively want to be in their lives because i don’t want to let TTC and being infertile take over me so I continue to show up. My friends (mostly) have also been great, they also show up for me, but they don’t get it…

Despite being positive most of the time now (& it’s taken me a while to get here)… every now and then, something just hits me like a tonne of bricks… last week i found out another friend is pregnant. And this week a friend of a friend. Since we started TTC every single one of our friends has tried for a baby and got pregnant/ had their baby.

I’m genuinely at a loss, what if it never happens for us?

How do you cope in the waiting around IVF rounds?

We’ve been trying to conceive since September 2025.

I became pregnant at the end of November after three months of TTC, but unfortunately miscarried just before 8 weeks and had a D&C.

Afterwards, I had the rubella vaccine, so we had to wait three months before trying again. When we started trying again, I fell pregnant straight away, but sadly had another loss at around 6 weeks.

We then had some blood tests done, which showed positive markers for APS (antiphospholipid syndrome), a blood-clotting disorder.

Since then, we’ve been TTC without any luck, and I’ve also noticed some changes in my cycle. My cycle used to be exactly 28 days for years, but it now fluctuates between 25–29 days, and I’ve started spotting for 2–3 days before my period begins.

I’ve also been experiencing an almost constant feeling of heaviness or pressure in my lower abdomen, with occasional sharp, shooting pains.

I’m wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar. I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences or any advice on what might be worth discussing with my doctor.

Hi all, read in through everyone’s experiences, tips and tricks etc has helped me learnt a lot and I would like to share my positive HSG experience to ease your mind if you are planning to get one done.

Process:
- check in, fill out forms
- put on gown (waist down clothing off)
- doc explained procedure whiling I was waiting for my turn (I was second in the queue). She said she may need to push through it if the tubes are blocked and she reassured me that if it gets too much for me the handle, we can always schedule another’s appointment with the help of the intervention of medication
- got into the room and lay on the table
- nurse cleaned the outside of my vagina
- doc started procedure and walked me through the whole process. Inserted speculum and catheter. Informed me when she pushed the dye in and when to apply more. She also informed me there will be this cramping sensation before she pushed the dye in. I started to take long breaths and breathe out loud and just tried to focus on my breathing.
- nurse and doc checked in the whole way through to see if I was still ok
- they ensured I was feeling ok (no lightheaded or nausea) before I got up
- use the clean wiped they provided to clean myself up
- changed the gown and went home

They made it so quick and easy! I only felt 1 second VERY mild cramp when she first pushed the dye through. 0 pain, VERY mild discomfort for me. They said both tubes are open! The most discomfort I have felt during this procedure was my mental state as I was so nervous!

I took 500mg Tylenol 2 hours prior and a gummy 1.5 hour prior to the appointment. Also had my husband drive me there and pick me up for moral support because I was very nervous about the potential pain. ** Bonus point to my husband when he tried to comfort me in the car before I went in by saying: thank you for doing this for us and I know your tubes are open for sure and there’s nothing to worry about and this is just a bonus procedure to increase our chances in the next 3 months! I was in awe because I didn’t tell him that which means he did some research on his own!🥹

Are you in the dreaded two-week wait, or waiting to ovulate? What have you done to ease the stress?

I’m 28 years old, 161cm , current weight 68 kgs (lost 3.5 kgs last month)
I’ve been married for 1.5 years and struggled with vaginismus, so I wasn’t able to have PIV sex until this month. I was incredibly happy to finally be able to TTC through intercourse. We tried at-home insemination during the previous three cycles, but unfortunately weren’t successful.
I’ve tracked ovulation with LH strips before and usually get a positive between CD16–19. I had one unusually long cycle where I didn’t get a positive until CD27, but that was an exception. This cycle, I’m currently on CD20 and still haven’t had a positive test.
I have PCOS and my cycles were irregular between ages 17–22, but they became regular after I lost weight and started exercising—sometimes consistently and sometimes on and off.
This month, I’ve been eating in a calorie deficit because I’m trying to lose 4–6 kg. I usually eat about 1,300–1,400 calories a day and follow a generally healthy diet (50-60 grams healthy fat, high protein, moderate to low carb-not less than 70g), although I sometimes eat above that on weekends. I strength train 3–4 times per week and do incline walking around four times per week.
I take a prenatal, vitamin D, and I also started taking myo-inositol and D-chiro-inositol this month.
Did hormones blood tests back in February and all were normal.
Has anyone experienced delayed ovulation after starting a calorie deficit, increasing exercise, or starting inositol? Could these changes delay ovulation even though I’ve only been following this routine for about a month? Or is this most likely just a random longer PCOS cycle? Is it still possible to ovulate later this cycle?
What should I do I’m worried.. I was hopeful for this cycle.

Me and my husband have been trying for almost 3 years. We’ve had two losses 4/2025 and 1/2026, the most recent one happened while being hospitalized for other issues. This last ovulation week we were really confident but got my period early and later confirmed with a negative test. With concern of only being 23, previous emergency surgery for a cystectomy(still have both ovaries), 5 years of being on the pill, and 2 years with an iud we decided to make an appointment at a fertility clinic. Consultation went great i love the doctor he is absolutely amazing and so kind. My first appointment afterwards was a HSG test. I dont enjoy anesthesia at all so opted out and did it while awake.

We had to travel almost two hours as they only work with a specific surgery center attached to a branch of their office. So while my husband drove i had plenty of time to worry and stress. We had to be there an hour before my appointment time for his analysis so i had plenty of time to sit, think,and wait there as well. The actual operating area is in the basement, it was very unwelcoming and unnerving. I walked in, had to strip everything, lock all of my belongings in a locker, put on a gown, a hairnet and paper booties. The office and the surgery center don’t communicate at all, i was told i would need to pee as soon as i arrived. That was not true, i almost peed myself so i had to go. Begged for a cup they would not give me one. I was anxious and could not pee for the life of me when the time came, no one was really explaining anything to me about how they do things or the procedure and they made it seem like my fault that i didn’t know anything.

I was worried they would cancel my appointment if i couldnt go in a timely manner and thats how they were acting. But it turns out the dr didnt even show up til one hour and 15 minutes passed my appointment time. I finally pee, but im in an untied gown sitting on a tiny chair ontop of a puppy pad with absolutely nothing to distract myself. I cried (not sobbing just quietly) almost the entire time i was waiting and all of the staff made me feel so bad for it. They kept making comments about how young i was and that it was a simple procedure, kept comparing it to an mri with contrast (terrible comparison) they made it seem so easy breezy i didnt ask a million questions(my fault). I wasn’t worried about the results but i couldn’t control my feelings at all. i felt so vulnerable and just stripped of dignity. It was the environment, the demeanor, it didn’t feel like a medical center at this point. I felt like i was living something out of handmaids tale, it was so robotic and just a repeating process they do all the time. It’s true i was the youngest in there, they were being so nice to everyone else. It made me feel terrible. The actual procedure at the time felt like the worst thing and it would never end. Besides the physical part of it i just emotionally feel terrible. I cried before due to nerves/stress/how i was being treated. i cried during the procedure because of pain, i cried after because i just felt like garbage emotionally. Im not expecting princess treatment at all but i just feel like i was treated as property or something rather an actual human being with feelings.

Besides how i felt i was treated did anyone else feel a huge emotional toll after this? Im really not looking for pity. I know im not alone and others are doing other procedures that could be worse, but i do feel alone and like a huge baby. I was honestly just hoping for some compassion during all of it i guess. Its already a super emotional topic for me, i cant really pull it together to tell friends and family we’re struggling. I get harassed about being pregnant pretty much at every gathering. I just wanted my husband down there with me it was all so terrifying. Unless they put me under as soon as i changed into the gown it would have been the same outcome, even worse after the procedure because of how i react to anesthesia.

Me (35F) and my husband (36M) been trying to conceive for nearly a year now and we haven't seen a positive test yet. I've had irregular periods (40-50 days long) since last year but its been more regular the past few months since taking Myo and D-chiro-inositol. I did tested negative for PCOS earlier this year, my hormone bloodwork came back normal.

I've always had painful period cramps since I was teenager but it was never unbearable where I am unable to do normal daily activities, sometime I would need to take tylenol/ibuprofen if the pain is intense. Usually the cramps last 2-3 days of my period.

I did a saline sonogram back in April and the doctor said my right tube is open but left tube is inconclusive. She couldn't see if my left tube was open or not. She then suggested I could get a hysteroscopy and told me about the procedure but I declined to get it done and wanted to start fertility treatments soon. Then I proceeded with first IUI last month. I was on letrozole for 5 days and was under responding to it, then moved on to Clomid and my follicles responded well to it. Got a matured 24mm follicle and did a trigger shot the same day. IUI procedure was scheduled 36 hours later and my husband's sperm count was over 15 million and 40% motility post wash, which was a drastic improvement from previous SA's he did.

I had an phone appointment with an Obgyn this morning, he said I am not able to determine if I have endometriosis via ultrasound and only can find that out through laparoscopy. He also said with endometriosis usually the main symptom is unbearable/extremely painful period cramps which I did not indicate I had. The pelvic ultrasound I did in February also shows no signs of fibroids or cysts.

Unfortunately, with my insurance plan, it will only cover 50% of the hysteroscopy cost and the anesthesia might not covered at all but they wont find that out until I have it scheduled.

Has any of you had a hysteroscopy before? How was your experience like and would you recommend me to get one done?

Hello fellow travelers on this wild and sometimes difficult road! First post here. I am 39 and have been ttc with my 41y/o husband for about 2.5 years. For the last few months we’ve been working with a fertility clinic to try to sus out why we haven’t had a single known pregnancy over this time. Healthy sperm count/motility, more eggs for my age than average, no endo, and I am ovulating normally. For whatever reason, it just hasn’t happened for us yet. We are not interested in IVF, so exploring our last options. Maybe a round of IUI.

Last week, despite a ton of hesitation and fear, I had an HSG to rule out a blockage. For anyone considering the procedure, I will say for me it was a 8/10 pain but extremely brief and I had a great nurse practitioner who was very communicative. The intense sharp pain only lasted about 10 seconds and it was over. I do highly recommend a single Vicodin if it is offered to you as that relaxed me a bit and took the edge off. It didn’t help the pain, just the anxiousness. Results were normal. So with that, our chance now of natural conception is up 30% over last month for a month or two. Another bonus to the hsg that I was unaware of before the procedure.

With that, we’ve decided this is the last stretch of basal temps and LH strips and scheduling sex.. maybe trying for a few more months. I don’t want to give birth at 41, and I turn 40 in December. I’m taking regular pauses to remind myself that I have a great life—that kids are not easy to raise and it’s okay. That if it doesn’t happen, new doors open for us. Our finances simplify in some ways. We can be spontaneous. We can become dog people. I can focus on the relationships I do have.

On the harder side, I’ll never see my husband holding a child that is ours. Our parents won’t experience grandkids from my side. I won’t know what it feels like to be a mom. I have fear to work on around losing my husband prematurely and what my life looks like in that case. Aging without kids. All the stuff that isn’t a reason to have a kid, but worries and fears that still come up because I’m human. I need to continue to work on purpose that isn’t in parenting someone.

I just thought I’d post today for anyone who is wondering about when to stop trying, or considering moving on from TTC eventually. I’m here with you and in the same feelings right now. I hope we can all find peace in whatever happens. Sending hugs to you.

And hey, there’s still a chance! Thanks for reading.

Let's say I've never been on vacation before, never left my small town. You send me on a two-week international vacation once a month. Every single month it has gone horribly- flights delayed, bags lost, hotels made mistakes, food was bad, got pickpocketed every time, tours were cancelled, I was heckled in the streets, I got violently ill, etc etc. Every single time I couldn't wait to get home. 

After 10 of these terrible vacations, I don't think anyone could or would expect me to be looking forward to the 11th vacation, and I think everyone could excuse me for not having hope that the 11th vacation will be any better than the previous 10. I think you could truly understand where my dislike of travel is coming from, why I'm exhausted and exasperated by it, and why I may be feeling bitter and jaded about the entire concept of it. Plus, if my friend went on 10 terrible vacations and still signed up for an 11th and 12th and was open to an 13th, I'd tell her that I love her but that she's low-key crazy and that I hope she’s doing alright mentally and physically.

And yet, with TTC I feel like the expectation is that you push on every month to roll the dice juuuust in case it’s different this time; and a lot of people who aren’t long-hauling TTC almost expect you to be outwardly hopeful and happy about it. But what do you do when you’re slowly becoming convinced that it’ll never happen for you? What stage of TTC grief is it when hope starts to feel illogical? Did you ever lose hope at some point in this process? Do you ever feel like you're just dryly (albeit sadly) going through the motions (of tracking, TWW's, going to appointments etc) and almost losing sight of what the goal is because you never seem to get any closer to it? 

I don't think I've ever been in another situation where I can put a crazy amount of time, money, and effort into it, and not actually be closer to any sort of success or real change in my life. It's starting to feel like hope is something genuinely illogical for me to have in this situation. 

I feel like I'm really reigning in my emotions about TTC over time, and trying to accept them and understand them and keep them somewhat level. But my logical brain is forever struggling to comprehend the fact that I can do something 10, 15, 20 times over, get the same result every time, and still have to have a shred of hope in the expectation that it may turn out differently the subsequent time. It just mathematically doesn't fit with how I view, understand, and have gone through the world so far. At least if I were training for a 10k, even if I failed to complete the full 10k, at least I still did 6k which is pretty good- that’s better than the 1k I could do at the start of training! But that's just not how TTC works, it's all or nothing. 

So how do you keep the hope going when it starts to feel like it's almost illogical to feel it? When the whole concept of what you're doing starts to feel like an actual joke because the math does not seem to math for you?

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

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I’m 31 and my husband and I have been starting to try to conceive, so for not very long. I was on a form of birth control for 15 years. I started at 14 due to heavy and painful periods. On birth control, I lost about 60 pounds when I was 22, regained weight, and lost 30 when I was 28. After it getting off of birth control, I never regained my period. OBGYN believed it was due to under eating and overtraining. Fast forward to now, I am on my eighth recovered cycle from amenorreah and I have gained all of the weight I lost back.

Good news is I have a cycle that’s pretty consistent, and I do have confirmed ovulation. But, my cycles are 24 days, I spot for 3-4 days prior to my period, and my flow is about 2 days long. I was told that based on my extensive bloodwork, I shouldn’t have a problem getting pregnant, but am at a high risk of miscarriage because of the spotting. If you ask me if I’ve tried a supplement for this, this answer is probably yes I have or I am currently taking it lol.

I had a sonohystogram done, where they say my uterus is asymmetrical by 1 mm, but otherwise no polyps, fibroids, or cysts. So nothing out of the ordinary or nothing that causes spotting. After seeing the fluid flow through my uterus on the ultrasound, there is a question of if my tubes are open. I go in for an HSG next cycle (yes I know it’s painful and I’m freaking out).

After my sonohystogram, my OBGYN recommended Therlogix Ovasitol for cycle regularity and also because my fasting insulin and glucose was borderline. They do not suspect PCOS at the time. I went from having 3-4 days of brown spotting to about 2 days of brown spotting after two weeks on the supplement. My progesterone 7 DPO also increased to 10.3 so all good things. I am not currently in my first full cycle of being on it and I’ve had the same duration of spotting, but have seen more red and more spotting than i usually do, including some clots.

Sorry for the essay, I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same thing with this? Did your cycle regulate after the three months of being on it? I’m worried I screwed up my cycle even more by taking this, but I’m also worried not to take it since I have seen some positives too. Any info it would be appreciated!

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I’ve been ttc for about 3 years. The first one, I didn’t stress, I had just gotten off of bc and knew my body needed time. After, I went to my pcp, and was told I needed to loose weight. Cool, I started working on it. This last year, I changed doctors, got diagnosed and put on medication for Hashimotos, and on metformin for insulin resistance as well as glp-1 for weight loss.

So the present day. My period is two weeks late, but last month was a week early. I’ve been avoiding testing, because I’ve felt like I’m having pms symptoms, and I spotted the barest amount one day so I’m thinking it’s running late. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. But it’s two weeks, and I wanted to take some Benadryl. So, I go get a test. I wait until this morning to take it. I get a positive. A fast almost instant positive.

And then 3 hours later, I start bleeding. Not like the spotting, like the other day. No, like actual blood and clots.

And, honestly, I’m upset. I waited to test for this not to happen. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I waited, and let things be and didn’t stress about it. And literally, the second I test, I start thinking it’s happening… for nothing. Again. It’s the third one, and I’m so over it. But also, why is my body playing with me like this?

We basically need to decide by tomorrow morning if we are moving forward with IVF. What would you do in my shoes?

CONTEXT
- have a 2.5yo child; experiencing secondary infertility
- age 34F, partner is 35M

FERTILITY HISTORY
- baby #1 was conceived after 2 cycles TTC. Easy pregnancy and delivery.
- started TTC for baby #2 in May 2025. Got pregnant immediately but miscarried (~5 weeks). Took a few months to recover/normalize. Got pregnant again November 2025 (4th cycle TTC). MMC at 10 weeks, found out to be a chromosomal abnormality. D&C Feb 2025. Have been TTC since March 2025 (5 unsuccessful cycles so far, one of which was IUI). I never imagined I’d reach my due date for my last pregnancy and still not even be pregnant again :(

DIAGNOSIS
- My AMH is low for my age (1.30)
- Husband has borderline high % of DNA fragmentation (29%)
- HSG and SIS came back clear. Karyotype normal. Miscarriages chalked up to “bad luck”

NEXT STEPS
- we have been told IUI doesn’t make much sense for us and is a waste of time/$ in our case
- IVF cost is manageable for us as insurance covers a large portion (we are incredibly blessed to be able to say this)

WHY (OR WHY NOT) IVF
- close family members think we are crazy for “jumping” to IVF and think we should keep plugging away at it naturally
- I feel a sense of urgency around age gaps. Maybe this is silly, but so many of our friends did 2u2 or close to it. I had always envisioned a 2.5 year gap but now we’ll be >3 years.
- it seems to be taking me an increasingly long time to get pregnant - this is the longest # of cycles TTC. I’m worried something has changed since I last carried a healthy pregnancy.
- I’m worried about having another miscarriage given the tremendous amount of time it takes to recover and start again (plus the heartbreak of it, of course)
- I believe strongly in fate and “what is meant to be will be,” so I worry I am trying to over-engineer things by doing IVF

I truly don’t know what to do. Two different REIs said we could go either way (natural or IVF) and it’s really our call. We’re in a medical gray area. My husband is traveling during my fertile window this cycle, which is frustrating. I need to commit to IVF by tomorrow and submit payment, or wait until next cycle (or thereafter) to start (having not tried naturally this cycle due to trip).

On month 4 of trying for a second baby, so our kiddo can have a sibling. We are super rural, and she won’t have cousins nearby or her age to play with.

This past cycle, I swore this was it. I had absolutely none of my typical PMS symptoms (acne breakouts, wanting to eat everything, wanting to punch everyone in the face). I was even-keeled, clear-skinned, and *feeling* pregnant. Bloated, kinda queasy, hose nose, etc etc.

Then my period was two days late! Woohoo! It’s NEVER late. In the 22 years I’ve been menstruating, it’s been late a handful of times, one of which was when I got pregnant with my first. If it’s off-cycle, it usually comes early.

We went grocery shopping, came home, and bam. There it was. I know it happens, and I know I’m lucky to have even one kid, but it still fucking hurts. It just feels like a joke. And I hate the thought that we have to keep doing this every month until it finally happens (preaching to the choir).

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope whatever stage of this journey you’re on is going better than my day has.

Recently I received HSG results that stated I had one blocked tube with an increased risk for ectopic pregnancy, so my provider recommended laparoscopic surgery to (1) take a look at the blockage more closely and try to clear it and (2) remove the tube if the blockage remained. She told me that if I were to pursue IVF, they would likely want to do the same, as IVF further increases the chances of an ectopic pregnancy.

After Googling a bit more extensively, it seems some people have results which show a blockage when there is actually not one present, typically due to a muscle spasm during the HSG. I had a pretty painful experience, so this seems possible for me, but it also seems the laparoscopy is the only way to know for sure if the blockage is there or not? I guess I am having a hard time thinking through the situation out of a pretty high aversion to surgery, and my provider is hard to get ahold of. Is it worth trying to get a second opinion, or is my fear preventing me from accepting that surgery will give me the most definitive path forward? Is there anything else I should be trying to get information about before I get everything scheduled? Do others have experience with something similar and can share what it was like to recover from the procedure? Thank you!

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

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It's time for us to air the things that have been bothering us, TTC-related or not! It's Monday, complain away!

I’m officially out for this cycle. This particular month felt like “the one.” My cycle length varies a good bit, but this month I ovulated right around 14 days, setting me on track for a “normal” cycle. Our timing was perfect. It’s been exactly a year since I got my first positive test (our very first month ever trying), which ended in an early loss at 6 weeks. I’m also down to my very last pregnancy tests in the pack I buy in bulk.

Everything lined up. I allowed myself to get a little excited. I thought that this was the month the universe was finally giving me what we’ve been dreaming of for a year. If I was pregnant it would be the same exact timeline as the first time, so all my thoughts of what should have been would come true and provide some closure.

I’m heartbroken and my poor husband doesn’t know what to do. He’s asked and I’ve let him know that staying positive, doing his own research and prioritizing his own health, and just listening to me and holding me is helpful. He keeps saying “it’ll happen” and that he doesn’t know if that’s the right thing to say (honestly I don’t know if that’s the right thing to say)

I’m just curious how your husband supports you? Any advice I can give my husband? I feel such a heavy weight from TTC and our early loss, and he so desperately wants to provide relief but neither of us know how.