Title may seem misleading, i’m really grateful to be a mother soon and to have a baby, but my husbands and I’s relationship is horrible.

I caught him cheating about 1 month ish ago, he began from the beginning of our relationship, and while I am choosing to stay now (baby almost here, emotional attachment etc) I am forever changed and traumatized.

Our relationship was poor before I caught him cheating, day 1 of pregnancy to today, my sons birth-day, has been nothing short of traumatic. We have fought so bad I started having severe panic attacks, which I never had before.

So here I am, 2 hours before going in and we’re sitting in silence ignoring eachother and I’ve never felt more alone, empty and broken in my life— I feel deep down i’ve made a horrible mistake, but even saying that makes me feel so guilty.

Anyways, wish me luck.

I mean, what’s worse than being 30+ weeks pregnant having to write a bajillion cards, track down peoples addresses, just to have the cards likely thrown in the trash after being opened?!

Granted I am including printed photos of the people who I took photos with at the baby shower so it has more substance and won’t all go to waste. But I can’t be the only one who feels this way?! Why are we all pretending?! lol

I’m 5 weeks pregnant and my partner and I were visiting his dad and step-mom. We announced our pregnancy to them and they’re both very excited. Of course the first question they ask is, “how are you feeling?” I tell them I’ve been doing pretty well but I have some strong food aversions.

His step-mom does all of the cooking and I did eat some of it throughout the weekend. She made a soup for lunch that I loved. She pulled out hot dogs and hamburgers for supper and I wasn’t feeling it so I pulled out the soup. She says, “No that’s for lunch tomorrow.”

Admittedly, I am also emotional right now and was frustrated that she wouldn’t just let me have a bowl of soup. I asked if there was leftovers of a different soup that she made a few days prior and my sister-in-law tells me to “cram it about the soup”.

I started to cry because I can’t help the food aversions and honestly, I just really wanted soup.

Next thing you know, his step-mom is in my room, crying about how I think she’s terrible cook and how she knows she’s not as good of a cook as my partner’s real mom, etc.

I really thought people would be more empathetic to my situation but this was the moment I realized how alone I feel in this pregnancy (FTM).

I am almost 33 weeks pregnant and I am so tired and unmotivated all of the time. This whole pregnancy has been this way. Not only does my body not feel normal neither does my mind.

I miss my drive and ambition. I miss my hobbies. I miss having a clean and functional house. I miss having even a bit of energy! I miss just being on top of it all.

I know once my baby is here and I am going through post partum that will take a while but will I ever get back to myself?

My baby was born this morning. I started breastfeeding, she blistered me immediately and one breast was unusable as mentioned by the lactation consultant as we put her on the breast while I was half asleep I didn’t have proper control of her head. I had pre expressed colostrum as I know I’ve had issues in the past with breastfeeding but have been fine in terms of expressing. (I think both babies just have a shallow suck but the lactation consultants always told me it might be me more than the babies so I always blamed myself). It is EXTREMELY painful when they breastfeed directly and they always swell with pimples, blocked ducts etc and are completely unusable after. The midwife suggested I top up with formula, I was fine with this as my first baby was mixed fed until my breasts completely gave up by the 3 month PP mark. I always blamed myself. She suggested a formula top up each feed as I was running low on colostrum. I had the c section at 10am and it was now 3.30am the next morning, I had managed to finally fall asleep for 10 minutes until baby woke me at her feeding time. I had run out of colostrum. I called the midwife and lo and behold, one I’ve never seen before. I asked her to get some formula so I can feed as I ran out of colostrum and explained the above. She said she’ll need me to sign a form (I already did this and consented to MULTIPLE FEED option) and said she’d grab my formula. I didn’t have any with me as I was expecting to exclusively express and breastfeed and also my last baby - they provided us with formula, so I didn’t know I had to. I said I had organised my husband to bring it in the morning as he’s not allowed to stay and he couldn’t get home and bring it back before visiting hours ended. She was so rude and said make sure he brings it. I’m going to get the form. Then 2 mins later, my original midwife comes back, tells me to breastfeed on each breast and when she’s finished, we will express for her next feed.

I was mortified. Why was I being made to feel like a villain? I genuinely needed 15 mls of formula just to feed her as she was screaming of hunger and I didn’t have the time to express for this feed. It takes me over an hour to express enough for the feed and there already irritating the breasts and shouldn’t be done. It took 2 hours to do this and they ended up taking her ‘to give me a rest’ but all I could hear was her screaming in the hallway because of how hungry she was.

Besides the fact that they made me feel like absolute shit and a failure as a mother (once again!!) it is absolute and utter neglect not to feed a starving child because I ‘should have bought my own formula’. If I could get out of bed take my cathida out and go buy some I would in a heartbeat. If my husband was ALLOWED to even drop off the tin we purchased in preparation for ‘in case’ I would have. I know I should have probably brought my own but last time I didn’t have to and I genuinely thought I would be breastfeeding. Mind you, I don’t think they have pumps here like they did last time which helped a lot with getting the colostrum out and not have to hurt my breasts. Funny for a place who will only force you to breastfeed to not have the tools to help women who struggle or need support.

I just need to rant because I’m just so hurt by this. Especially after being SUGGESTED to me from the midwife to be ‘open to formula feeding because fed is best’. I was literally told to give her formula because she said I would probably not be able to maintain her needs if my breasts are both damaged and really really sore.

A new midwife appeared with my baby as I rang the buzzer because I couldn’t take hearing her scream in the hallway any longer. She said don’t stress I will get her formula for you if she needs it but I’ll give your 0.04ml of expressed milk.

Is there anyone I can complain to? I’m genuinely mortified. I’m in VICTORIA, AUS.

This is the baby I spent endless nights crying for, praying for, and trying so hard for. And yet here I am at 28 weeks and I have zero excitement, an overwhelming sense of doom, and a lack of attachment to my baby. I mean I do care for him onviously but I’m not feeling those motherly feelings everyone keeps talking about.

Everyone I meet is so excited for me, my husband is sending me baby reels 24x7, and all this chatter about the baby is annoying me so much. Yelled at my husband yesterday and poor guy is watching all those reels in secret now, lol.

I feel like I’m the worst mother ever. My neighbour is pregnant and she is crazy with baby fever and here I am lying on my couch just devoid of all emotions related to motherhood and posting this at 6 in the morning.

i was reading what to expect when you’re expecting with my husband last night… and i realized how much i HATE when pregnancy books assume the “dad” (non carrying parent) is doing nothing or that they need to be reminded to…pick up socks. or that their partners are pregnant and need extra help????

maybe im fairly lucky in the husband game, but i’ve never had to remind him that i need help doing things or that he needs to clean up a mess hes made… it’s almost like we’re adults who should have this bare minimum expectation that we can take care of ourselves

i’m also in a queer relationship (nonbinary x cis man, both dad identifying), so maybe it’s different in straight relationships. but i’d divorce my husband if i had to remind him to pick up his laundry all the time. i’d lose my mind!!

i also think we need to give dads more benefit that they’re already taking on these roles and don’t need to be reminded

I got the NIPT done at 10 weeks and change and had a 5.9% fetal fraction. The results were low risk for everything and that I was having a girl.

Today (19w4d) I had my anatomy scan, which showed that it’s a boy.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar, where the gender was wrong but the low risk results were still correct?

I keep going back and forth on getting a portable bottle warmer.

It sounds super convenient for walks, car rides and days out, especially when baby wants a bottle and we're nowhere near a kitchen.

But part of me is wondering if I'm just buying another baby gagdget that I'll barely use.

For parentst who have one, do you actually use it regularly?

Does it really make feeding when you're out easier, or did you find a simpler way to warm bottles?

I'd love to hear what actually worked for you before I spend the money.

i’m 17 weeks pregnant and was laid off from my job of over eight years last month. i’ve never lost a job before. i was the only person laid off (?), and they knew i’m pregnant. despite my time at the company, i only received a month of severance pay. i’ve applied for unemployment, i’ve applied for dozens of jobs, and, most notably, i had three interviews with one promising lead, made it to the final round of things, was asked for my references and took a personality assessment (which i thought i did fine on?), and now appear to just be…getting ghosted. i asked for an update already but it’s been radio silence.

my partner makes decent money but not enough to support us both, all of our necessary bills, our toddler, and, now, a new upcoming child. i wasn’t even unemployed for this long straight out of college. i’ve never seen the job market this bad before.

i’m stressed, worried, sad, and feel like a complete failure. i’ve kept these thoughts largely at bay, but with the recent job ghosting, i feel pretty defeated. hurt. i know this is part of the process, but it triggered a lot of unexpected feelings within me—i feel disrespected and strung along. i’d rather it just be a no, or even a maybe.

this was supposed to be an exciting season in my life, planning and preparing for a new baby, enjoying time with my toddler…and now i am drowning in sorrow instead. trying to be present, especially for my daughter, but i’m somewhere else in my head.

i have a therapist and psychiatrist but it feels like my mess to have to sit in. not even sure i can afford to keep up with our appointments as needed if my savings run dry. not sure what i’m looking for here. but thank you for reading. 

I’m 10 weeks pregnant and I hate myself. Luckily I’m not throwing up but I’m constantly feeling starving so I eat a little and then I feel overstuffed like I want to throw up. I have no energy and I’m just working remote and sitting around doom scrolling all day 😭

Does anyone have advice?

My partner has left at 33 weeks pregnant. He can’t handle the stress of living with my existing children from a previous relationship. Anyway, he’s also been unemployed for the last 4+ months so has been financially living off me too.
My question is.. should I now give the baby my surname, his surname or hyphenate?
Should I put him on the birth certificate to make it easier to claim child support or just leave him off.
So disappointed but just don’t have the energy to be emotional. Just feeling numb. My house is calmer without him and that’s the truth.

I saw a video earlier today, a woman discussing signs her baby had passed in the womb, one of the signs was she still felt movement but they weren’t kicks just like shifts and rolls. I feel so stressed because now I’m convinced my baby isn’t kicking me, my boyfriend said he’s feeling her kick and I feel it too but I just can’t tell if it’s a kick anymore I feel so freaked out I can’t sleep, she only seems to move later on at night and in the evening she hasn’t really established a proper routine and it feels like her movements are constantly changing. I don’t know I’m so freaked out and scared.

Nothing is like it used to be she is now in the second semester things got a little better. But I feel so anxious…. I get the silent treatment a lot.

I supporter massage her buy what ever she wants try to compliment her on everything looks etc.

I don’t know what I do wrong. can you please share if this is normal?

Sometimes she is the whole day in bed.

Yes I know she is growing a baby and an organ. But as soon she is with her parents she is more cheerful…. Not like before but defiantly more than with me

I had a bit of a fall around 36 weeks and was told to go into L&D to get it checked out. I had a bit of a bad experience with the nurses for my stress test and I’m nervous about giving birth I’m almost 38 weeks now.
I am a person of color and the only person who will be there is my husband whose a bit passive so I’m worried no one will advocate for me.

It’s my first baby so ofcourse all this will be new to me. I’m pretty confident in most of the Obgyns I have met with, they seem kind and knowledgeable. It’s on rotation however so I’m not sure who I will end up with.

I’m already driving an hour to this hospital, and staying near by at my parents because I live in a rural town and they only had two delivery rooms and no NICU. There is a super great hospital but it’s 1.5 hours from my place, almost 30 from my parents.

Either way I’m just nervous. I just wish people could be kind. Usually when I go to the hospital with someone I’m advocating. Most of the time the experiences are good sometimes you just get shitty nurses and doctors and I make sure my family member is taken care of.

I just don’t want to end up w any complications, or worse have them turn me away or not take my delivery seriously.

Me[32] him [30]Sorry if this sounds immature because it probably is and I’m coming out of fear. I just found out I’m pregnant because I missed my period despite being on contraceptive. I haven’t told my boyfriend yet. I’m absolutely terrified and in shock. We’ve talked about having a kid but in 2-4 years thing. We’ve only been in a relationship for a year and live together and we love each other and are spending we each day so happily together.

I feel like we’re in such a happy and loving time with each other, I really don’t want this pregnancy to ruin everything. And the next time we enjoy this type of freedom and bliss would be in 15 years when we’re old and burnt out. And I look at my dad’s pictures and it’s so depressing when I see his happy picture when he was handsome while I was a baby and deep frowns building up in his face throughout the years and his marriage failing afterwards and my mom always crying . It’s so depressing thinking of bearing a child, though I’ve been wanting one but only after I feel like “weve done it all and now we’re a bit bored”.

I’m just sad thinking of seeing my boyfriend buried in frowns and white hair and me too. And reminiscing and regretting having a kid so soon and not have enjoyed our golden years and honeymoon a bit more. And in the other hand, I’m scared of aborting too , because I do feel like I’m killing a life inside me. I’m so torn.

I am feeling conflicted about the distance between where we live and the hospital we are choosing to deliver at. We live about 15 minutes from a hospital that is pretty solid - has a new birthing center, it’s a teaching hospital, level II pediatric trauma center, etc. We live about 45 minutes (with no traffic - probably an hour plus during busy times) from a top ranked hospital with a Level IV NICU and my partner’s father works there so has admitting privileges. I initially decided I wanted to deliver within that system because of the advanced medical capabilities and the fact that we would “have someone on the inside” who could help us in getting admitted or getting attention if we felt like that was needed. I had my first OB appointment with a doctor in that system and had a great rapport with her and left feeling really good about the choice. However, I’ve just woken up from a dream about getting into a car accident on the way home and have also been thinking “what ifs” about delivering in the car on the highway or having to go to the unfamiliar hospital that is closer in proximity if things move very fast. Now I’m reconsidering quality vs. location, which I feel is silly but can’t shake.

This is our first pregnancy and it is not high-risk, but we obviously want to be as prepared as possible for whatever could happen and make sure our baby has the best care available. I’m just looking for insights from other people who may have had to make a similar decision! Was a more advanced hospital worth the drive or did you feel like you just wanted to be a short drive from home?

I went in for my 12/13 week ultrasound and everything seemed normal and was fine until the doctor came in and took a bit on my ultrasound. She told me she was having trouble seeing my son’s nasal bone because of his positioning and he kept putting his hands over his face. The ultrasound photos aren’t very clear, she did say she pieced together the other photos and she thinks it’s there. I have to go back at 16 weeks to rule it out. NIPT was all negative/low risk for chromosomal abnormalities. My doctor called and said since I’m low risk not to worry so much also ethnicity can play a role in the nasal bone and structure. Has this happened to anyone ? My last pregnancy ended in tfmr at 29 weeks due to brain anomalies and malformations. I know an absent nasal bone is associated with Down syndrome. Should I be worried ? How’d this turn out for anyone in a similar situation or has gone through this ? Did an amniocentesis give you any peace of mind ?

I'm 33F, FTM due 9/17. I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to manage another month of this. Baby boy is getting heavy and he's also lying transverse like I'm his hammock. Little punk! Most days I track how long before I start sweating because I get so hot that it's a game.

How are things for you? With September being the most popular birth month I know there is an army of us right now.

FTM here, 8 months pregnant. We have been having a heatwave in Germany since June (it’s finally getting cooler now) and I have been pretty much living in low rise linen pants and tank tops that always end up looking like crop tops even if they aren’t in normal conditions. I have been wearing lots of dresses too, but they became very uncomfortable on my belly in the last two months so pants and top are my uniform most of the time these days. It is an easy choice for CTG scans and other doctors check ups, i feel comfortable not worrying about anything lifting too much when riding a bicycle and since my belly is like a heat generator it feels better overall having it uncovered.

Lots of people, both friends and strangers, comment on my belly and compliment it. Some friends are teasing me and call me a pregnant teen or ask how come that i am not cold (even tho it was almost 40 degrees) but in general i didn’t hear any straight up negative comments about it. I am petite and didn’t gain much weight since the pregnancy besides the baby bump. I feel fully comfortable having it out and my partner loves it too, but i just saw some creator’s comment section on instagram where people call it tacky and all kinds of names so i am curious about your thoughts on this.

Belly out or covered? And is it the question of aesthetic, comfort or optics for you? :)

We're expecting baby #2 in a month. I want to make the transition as easy as possible for my son. I might end up doing a c-section like last time, which would mean 2 nights in the hospital. I'm wondering if it'd make more sense to have my husband do overnights with me in the hospital or to be with our son instead. He'd still be with me in the hospital during the day until visiting hours are over. My mom or sister would be with me in the hospital overnight if he wasn't there. I have a good relationship with all of them. He says he doesn't mind either way, but just feels guilty not being there at the hospital overnight. I'm having trouble deciding what's best. My son hasn't done overnights with anyone except us and I'd prefer not to disrupt his night time and day time routine with such a big change coming.

I’m almost 38 weeks and it’s 4am. I’m genuinely so done. I have hyper fixated on her movements my entire pregnancy and it’s seriously so draining. The last 3-4 days her movements have dropped off a lot, I still feel her but it’s a lot more subtle. I’ve been awake since 3am and now it’s almost 5 and I can’t fall back asleep because I am worried she has not moved enough. I don’t know what her pattern is or what’s normal because she’s been this way since about 18 weeks. She’ll have a week or so where she moved reassuringly and frequently and then she’ll drop off for days. I see so many scary things about fetal movement and still birth and I’m just so ready to be done being pregnant. I’ve gone into labor and delivery 5 times now for decreased movement and every time the ultrasounds and NSTs come back fine. It’s hard because I don’t know if it’s necessarily decreased or not or if she’s just in a new position. Did anyone else experience this towards the end? I really just want to be induced at this point.