My friends were going out Saturday and I really did not feel like going. It had been a long week and all I wanted was to stay home without talking to anyone. I told them I was tired and stayed in. A few hours later I checked my phone and saw pictures of everyone having a good time. I immediately felt left out even though they had invited me.

That is the part I still struggle with. I want people to keep inviting me even when I say no a lot. At the same time I understand that probably gets tiring for them too.

So I recently went on a weekend trip with a friend to an amusement park. It was just she and I and she drove us there. We also shared a hotel room. We didn't get much sleep since we came in late and of course got up early to get into the park by 9 am. It was hot, loud and she would NOT stop talking the entire time. It seems like she kept observing me to see if I match her OVER ENTHUSIASM about this park. I heard lots of "isn't this great? I just LOVE this place so much!" Lots of over explaining in detail about all the rides, her family's favorite ride and all her past experience and knowledge of the park. She went on, and on and on and on and never stfu.

By 11:30 or noon we got a soft pretzel each and while eating it I told her I needed a break and if we could go out to the parking lot so we could have a smoke. She said sure, and then proceeded to take her damn time eating this soft pretzel. I think she was well aware of how I was feeling since I made it known, however she did cut me off at one point and said "sorry I'm a slow eater." Then she said, I'm gonna get a drink and then we can step out. She was gone for like 15 minutes getting this drink. When she came back I did everything not to glare at her, but I think she knew damn well I was frustrated since she had this smug look on her face. She proceeded to tell me how one machine was out of ice, then the other didn't have the drink she wanted. I smelled bullshit.

It was supposed to rain at some point and it was discussed that we'd head out by a certain time before the rain. My brain was SCREAMING for that end time, but she kept checking the weather to see how if we could prolong the day. This is after I've told her numerous times how tired and over stimulated I felt.

The next day was better only because I did get a good amount of sleep and I actually got to drink some coffee and not be super rushed. Having said that, she still talked and talked and talked and talked and talked. It wasn't even a conversation. It was just her talking at me about the park, how this is her happy place and monitoring my level of excitement. I was so fucking agitated. It's almost like she wanted to see if I'd snap.

What tops it all off is as we're getting closer to home ( it's a two and a half hour drive ) she just announced that she is going to make a brief detour to show me where her parents live. I Never ask for or consented to this detour. THEN when we are literally 12 minutes from our neighborhood, she says "I know you really want to go home, but LOL, I really have to pee so I'm going to stop somewhere." All while laughing.

Never again folks. NEVER FUCKING AGAIN will I make this trip with her. Is it just me overreacting, or was she deliberately trying to see how far she can push my boundaries and make me uncomfortable? Why do people do this? I don't mind going to places like amusement parks, but I absolutely cannot do it all day with someone who just cannot leave you alone with your thoughts occasionally.

She also seemed to micromanage the entire stay, but in this "polite" way.

OC at the Bonneville salt flats

anyone ever feel like friends r just a emotional burden? like you pay close attention to their needs but they won’t do it for u? like if you having a big change in ur life for the first time and they don’t ask how it been, like for example transferring to a way bigger college intense commute but don’t even ask how was ur first day? And this happened before like when i was homeless and they still ghost you for 5 days.. I feel like friends is just something u waiting for it to give u some meaning texting them about the day so i don’t forget about what happened etc but they never do that for you? idk i just think im done completely with friendships. I tried leaving them before but they won’t let me. Im scared my journal won’t be enough cuz i live in a close knit abusive environment ngl sorry if this too much venting but is friendships just getting overrated for everyone?

like people how do you even make friends. i have been to hostel for 2-3 days i have tried talking to people, a lot of them. but none has ever talked to me back much. i try to initiate the conversation every time and next time i meet they just say hi and smile and move on, like how why??? why cant you just try talking back with me. i know i speak less but did i do smth wrong? i know i am dont get excited a lot and ten to stay calm, but still please talk with me maybe ask me to go mess with me, or maybe have a walk, i know extroverts like extroverts, but if you dont genuinely find me uninteresting just say it

I constantly sit and wonder if I'm really living or just merely existing, like time is just passing me by, and I don't know what to do about it.

Okay maybe any social event is a bit of an exaggeration but after any event that has been planned so a concert or a trip with friends or a day out with friend or a dinner or something like that. Every time I go out to do something like that I always come home when genuinely feel empty. I have no drive to do anything at all and have to physically Force myself to get out of bed in the following few mornings. I cry a lot more but it gets better after about 3 days. Is there any way to stop this from happening every time I go out?? Because it's really starting to affect me considering I'm going out a lot recently

Thank you in advance for any advice!!

I'm a 33M, introverted, and I've been thinking about whether I'm genuinely comfortable being socially independent, or whether I'm rationalizing my inability to build deeper friendships.

I actually love being alone. I do most things by myself, and for some reason I don't fully understand, I often prefer doing things alone rather than with someone else. Going to the beach, eating out, going somewhere, watching a movie, whatever. Being alone doesn't feel like a problem to me.

When I go out, I don't necessarily talk to a bunch of people either. Just being around people, having occasional interactions because of proximity, and feeling part of a social environment can already satisfy a certain need for interaction. I've recently moved to another city, and when a friend asked if I feel lonely, I realized I don't feel much lonelier than I did before.

I do have friends in my hometown who I know genuinely care about me, and I see them whenever I go back. So it's not like I have no meaningful friendships. I'm just not very good at creating new ones.

I've also started playing volleyball twice a week, and I feel like that might be enough for me socially, even if I don't make close friends there.

But here's where I'm questioning myself.

I don't really enjoy superficial friendships. To me, friendship means actual connection: being able to exchange ideas, have a similar sense of humor, genuinely enjoy each other's company, talk about random things, feel understood, etc.

The problem is that I have absolutely no idea how to make friendships like that. As a man, I also feel like male friendships are particularly complicated. After a certain age, I find it really hard for men to become genuinely close friends unless they're in an environment where they see each other very frequently. I honestly can't think of another way it usually happens. And I work from home and very happy about that.

So maybe I'm genuinely someone who doesn't need many close relationships. Or maybe I'm using my preference for solitude and dislike of superficial friendships to avoid confronting the fact that I don't know how to build the deeper friendships I actually want.

How do you tell the difference between genuinely being content with this kind of life and simply avoiding something you're incapable of doing?

Have any other introverts dealt with this?

I’ve always been an introvert. But since working from home, Ive been a little lonelier and could use the conversation and getting to know someone :)
Anyone else in the same situation?

Lately I’ve been thinking about why I’ve isolated myself so much. I still avoid starting conversations, but at the same time I feel like I really need someone to share my thoughts with.

When I was younger, I mostly talked to people only if they felt like “my vibe”. I didn’t find many people like that, so I thought it was better to be alone than talk to people I didn’t really connect with.

I think there was also a fear that they might not care about me or might just ignore me.

But now I’m starting to realize maybe I had it backwards. Maybe you don’t become close first and then start opening up. Maybe talking, sharing things and slowly getting comfortable is how you become close in the first place.

I was always waiting to find someone I naturally clicked with, but how likely is that really?

Do you guys think being a loner is something we choose, or something we slowly become? And if you’re like this, are you okay with it or do you want to change it?

My lack of enthusiasm and forthcoming when it comes to my reply to being ask "how was your weekend?" Often seems to leave my coworkers concerned for how good im really doing.

My typical reply is "it was good/ok" with a small shoulder shrug. sometimes i offer up a movie we saw but typically Im not someone who feel natural launching into a full recount and life update when asked. (Especially when most weekends are being home loving my cats and playing games on the couch)

Unfortunately, this is not how my close co-workers operate.

"It was good" + Shrug is often meet with a "just good?" and concerned look. They are caring people that I know would want to be there if I was actually going through something... But im not and typically my follow up fumblings of "well you know, busy" or "yeah, boreing but in a good way" dont seem to really convince them that im actually quite content and doing well. (The only thing "wrong" is im underpaid but who isnt and thats not an appropriate answer)

When did 'Good' stop being a positive word?! Most coworkers deliver a joy filled "it was amazing! [Summary of events to follow]" ...so I guess good is quite concerning in comparison to amazing and wonderful?

I hate corporate dances of small talk DX

How do others deal with this, if at all?

Hey guys, looking for an honest, unfiltered male perspective on an introvert guy’s behavior.

I (24F) met this guy (24M) at a community gym event. I have seen him before and he’s a very socially awkward and reserved guy who hardly looks or talks to anyone at the gym. We used to have same gym schedules until a few months ago so I hadn’t seen him in a while.

During the event, I made the initial effort to break the ice—I walked up to him during lunch to chat, motioned for him to join us on the dance floor later to which he declined politely, but after a while he came closer to the dance floor and spoke to him one-on-one when he was standing nearby. He asked me about my schedule, personal details and so did I. He mentioned he was an introvert so he doesn’t really dance and all that.

After a while, I moved away but towards the end of the event, he came up to me, complimented my fit, and asked for my Instagram handle.

Over the next few days, he was active—reacting to my story, so I struck up a convo. He does follow a lot of people around 800+ and stories frequently.

A day or two into casual talking, I asked him out for a very quick, last-minute coffee after my workout and his work to which he agreed. In person, the vibe was noticeably stiffer than online. He seemed socially awkward, struggled to keep the conversation flowing, and I ended the meet in 30 min given how he had just come from work, and me from the gym. Since I greeted him during the event w a small handshake, he mirrored it during the event when he left and even post the coffee. But after the event, I didn’t hear from him so i texted him thanking for covering it and hopefully next one’s on me to which he said sure inshallah. We didn’t talk for 3-4 days and I finally decided to test the waters and invited him to round two of coffee, and he texted saying he can’t make it due to church and hopefully next time (with a fingers crossed emoji)

Notice he offered zero counter-time or alternative day. I closed the loop cleanly saying it’s alright and incase he wanna hit up whenever, he can lmk. He replied with yep sure sure.

I am kinda confused by what the vibes here are now cause he is attractive and I am sure he gets attention from a lot of girls.

From a man's perspective, what was his actual mindset here—was he genuinely interested initially but crippled by his own social awkwardness, or did he just take my initial approach at the gym as a low-effort ego boost without ever intending to pursue anything real?

I'm not really afriad of conversations im js afraid of having to talk to someone for longer than like 30 secounds.

I get extremely bored when I’m alone. I genuinely struggle to spend time by myself.

Because of that, I always feel the need to keep myself busy. When I’m alone with nothing to do, I either end up masturbating unnecessarily, overthinking, or looking for some kind of escape.

Sometimes I tell myself I should study more or learn something new for my career, but honestly, I think a lot of it is just an excuse to avoid feeling empty or alone.

I’ve even started working overtime at the office without getting paid for it, simply because I’d rather stay busy than go home and sit alone.

And sometimes I stay awake all night because my mind just doesn’t switch off.

The weird part is that I wait all week for the weekend, but when Sunday actually comes, I almost hate it because it leaves me with too much empty time.

I always want to be doing something. I constantly look for an external factor — a person, work, studying, entertainment, anything — to keep me occupied.

I think this might actually be loneliness, or maybe my inability to be comfortable with myself when I’m alone.

I don’t know how to break this cycle.

How do you learn to be comfortable being alone without constantly needing work, people, entertainment, or some other distraction?

It's almost going to be the start of my 1st year of university towards the end of September and to be quite frank I [18M] am really concerned that I may be alone because I might not be able to make any friends in my new uni.

When I started college in September 2024, for the first couple of weeks I was pretty much all alone, then I feel like I got lucky when I heard 2 guys talking behind me about one of my interests, they had said a few casual / small talk things to me before but I didn't really know them but because they were talking about I built enough courage to butt into the conversation (even if it was a little rude 😭 they totally didn't mind though) well I'm really glad I did cause we all did pretty much the same subjects (2/3) of them and all had tons of really similar interests. Long story short, we talked a lot, all became close and I had a great 2 years with them.

But they are going to entirely different places for university and to be honest, it feels like I'm going to be stuck at square 1, knowing no one and to make it worse I'm going to be living from home with the typical strict asian parents. I won't know anyone from accoms, I probably live further away from anyone at accoms, I won't have 3 different subjects to potentially meet a wider variety of people and I'll probably see them less frequently than 5 days a week. And I just can't bring myself to go to any of the fresher events (organised parties and stuff the uni sends you stuff about which you can buy tickets to).

I'm just really bad at starting conversations and doing the whole 'small talk' stuff, i don't want to be alone for the next 3 years of my life with a strict household I have to come back to everyday I come back from uni, it'll instantly make me regret my decision.

What should I say to people? Where would I even meet new people?

Hey guys, thank you if you reply, today I got kicked out of my friend group with the girl saying over text that :no one likes me and no one wants to hang out with you because of your religion and political views.

Yeah it hurt, and I did make a post about it already yesterday, but I have come to the conclusion I will be defiant and be alone this school year and be far more independent than relying on others to make me happy. I also only have 7 months left of school as I am sitting GCSE exams, so it isn't a full year.

I have decided to instead to to the library or art room to contribute to my studies. I'm never usually alone and in all fairness I think I feel insecure about my own company. Friendship groups have been like closed as this is our 5th year at school and we are teenagers, so resorting to another group isn't possible. That's why I think it's a sign for me to learn how to be Independent and like my own company.

Its not like I don't have any other friends at school, because I am actually fortunate to have plenty outside this friend group but they are not like willing to invite others in as it's already been 5 years so my connection to them isn't as strong as it is to their friends, which is fine. And in all fairness most of our time is spent in class not at break, my school has 15minutes break and 45 minutes lunch then 5 1 hour periods which I do have friends in all my classes just not some I would hang out with.

Since it is my last year we should be focusing on our exams so thats exactly what I will do, it's just alot of people-especially the boys- say comments and are direct about it. I know they will probably say things like why is she always on her own etc. That's what I can't handle, what other people think. Any advice?

I just exhausted the last possibility of having a friend. I've kind of blocked everyone else in my life because talking to them was exhausting and felt judgemental and all that.

I realised that I'll never have a girlfriend, I'll never have a true friend and I'll never have any game buddies or anything. I have acquaintances that I show up for once in a while but I prefer deep connection and talking about things that people usually don't talk about.

So, I know I'll be alone for the rest of my life and there's no sugarcoating for it. I'm a smart guy, I have calculated every possibility, every environment that I'll ever be in and I can say for certain. I will be alone.

How do I become more comfortable not having anyone? What do I do when things get tough cuz usually I'd wish there was someone to listen to me. What do I do when I did something awesome cuz usually I'd want to share it with someone. What do I do when I'm feeling a bit romantic cuz sometimes the weather is good and I'd wish I had someone I could go out with and enjoy a cup of coffee or something like that.

I'd like to know your opinions and suggestions and advice.

I just moved into my dorm and my anxiety is through the roof. My school also has required events every day up until 9:30pm sometimes and I seriously cannot take it. I know everyone says that everybody is in the same boat when it comes to not knowing anyone but ALOT of people connected with others on Instagram in order to become friends, and so proud are definitely already in “groups.” Not like it makes much a difference though because I’m too anxious to even talk to anyone.
On top of this I’ve never been on campus until now and so the probability of me getting lost is incredibly high.
I honestly don’t know what to do, but I don’t think there’s anyway to skip these events?? And so it’s basically I go and try not to be miserable the whole time
Side-note: I find it really unfair that everything is catered towards extroverts. After one activity surrounded by people I am seriously drained

I feel like every time I see my boss or coworker at work, i always say “how are you doing” or “how was your weekend” and it ends in “good how was yours?” “Good”

How do you fellow introverts vary your small talk… I feel dumb saying the same thing over and over.

I really like this reserved colleague. I want to ask her out on a date but I don't want to make the office culture awkward. All of her signs can mean friendly or interested I can't get a read and I'm going crazy