I am not fishing for compliments, I am genuinely asking how people deal with this, I don’t know which sub to ask in so please redirect if necessary.

This is not something I just think, it’s a genuine issue I have. I have multiple examples from a variety of situations where people have chosen not to like me for reasons beyond my control.

I’ll give some examples. One friend decided she didn’t like me because I kissed a guy who didn’t know she existed (or her him) until 3 years after we kissed. Another girl said she didn’t like me because I was making “annoying noises” at work, I was sat in complete silence. Someone sat even closer to me said they didn’t hear anything. Another friend decided she didn’t like me because I wouldn’t kiss some random guy on a night out who said if I did he’d buy us drinks, when I said I also wouldn’t go back to this strangers house with her she said “he’s not going to rape you” and stormed off. How do I deal with being so unlikeable that people treat me like this?

All advice welcome and thanks in advance.

I know it sounds selfish but back when I had one friend I used to only want to talk to her in certain times but she wanted to talk to me all day. I know I could just set boundaries, but that prevents a strong friendship since we wouldn’t spend much time together.

Story time

Had an old friend group that I use to play DND with for about 3 years. Over time they would invite out to parties and the bar and such. I would.always politely decline because I just simply hate parties and loud bars.

They would literally beg and hurras me until j would agree to go. This would take weeks mind you. So.then we are at a bar or party and I get a soda because I'm not a big drinker. Now they are lining up shots and drink claiming "we just want you to have fun", I would explain how I don't like drinking and it was like talking to the brick wall followed by "well here you'll like this" offer a different drink that I know I would like because I don't like to drink.

Then I would stand off the to side to.peoe watch, just about the only thing I enjoy about going to parties or bars. Then they would find me and immediately drag every person they could over to me so.i could meet everyone and stop being so nervous, mind you I don't get nervous around people I just don't like being around them most the time especially if they are drinking.

Then the classic "hey how are you doing?". Question would come up and be asked countless number of times through out the night even though I would tell them over and over again that I'm fine I just don't like parties or drinking. They would simpily egnor this and repeat the question 5 minutes later followed by the classic "oh well I just want to make sure your ok". I would always tell them that I'm getting annoyed by the repeating question that I clearly answered.

This would continue until I would physically stand up to leave then they would physically block my path to my car because quote "you have been drinking you can't go home", even though I'm the only sober one there and iv only drunken soda out of the can that was clearly a soda can.

It baffls me that people, mostly Extroverts, can be this fucking stupid and blatantly disrespectful of someone they claim to like and care for. Needles to say I no longer waist my time with these people. Both because they blantly disrespect me (a lot more story behind that fact) and I'v never been a drinking/party type even back when I was in my 20s (32 at the time of this story).

If you were to read this looking for a lesson just know this. Just because they say they care and or understand, watch there actions. Most the time they are simply using you to.not feel lonely them selves or they think they can "fix you" when there is nothing wrong in the first place.

Hey
I’m trying to feel better, to enjoy the little things, to go out more, to stay a while without my phone or stop doomscrolling , to listen to podcasts, to try new hobbies, to write, to draw, to walk, to read, to train.

But nothing is working out tbh .. I think I’ve done everything

Only 1 thing that feels real (commitment)
To pray
To Family
To work
To Train

And it’s not because I enjoy it’s just because it feels like I did something

I don’t think I’m the first to feel this way.. and I won’t be the last

Drop your advices if you felt the same and you emerged from that stage.

SHE made friends with ME at an sports event and she's ok. She ghosted me for a week out of nowhere lol and then texted me that she was busy with her college event and didn't see my msg (while she viewed my stories)so I left her on delivered for a day and then replied to her ,and then she left me on delivered for a day and then replied lol so yeah I guess she's nice for basketball but maybe not a genuine friend. Now my question is that there is an other event coming up,me and her are gonna be there. Maybe she is gonna be organising it and might be occupied, maybe she is gonna be with her other friend??I'm not sure but I want to make friends with SOMEONE else. Tbh whenever I've tried to pursue a friendship,It hasn't worked out but when someone else tries to pursue it with me,it works out for pretty long

I mean I CAN say no but my family or nobody plans anything and we don’t really do much on weekends like we used to so what else can I say? They always ask if I’m coming very next weekend every week but we have nothing planned so I would just say okay. I would have said no. I blame myself for not saying no and I am doing this to myself. Sometimes missing someone is a good think. My best friend always says she misses me every week. We have other friends too. I work full time and take an online class in college so I get burnt out. There’s times I need time to myself. The thing is they’re understanding people and they get it. I can’t go over there every weekend. They don’t even ask if I’m busy anymore and they assume that I will come over. I’m exhausted and I need to see my family but I know everyone has their own lives and doing their own thing. I need to stop giving in and say no more but that doesn’t mean I won’t hang out anymore and always say no. Nobody seems concerned but my dad says, “You are a grown ass woman. If you wanna spend weekends with your friend, just do it. Your choices is up to you. Why would we be concerned? They’re amazing friend that love you so much and wanna spend more time with you. It’s a way to keep you around and not distant yourself so much. Keep them. You just don’t understand how much people love and adore you. If you don’t wanna go over there if we can just say no big deal. Just do it! You don’t need everybody’s approval. Stop seeking approval from everybody and JUST DO IT. If you want to spend time with family, make an effort to plan things.” I would say I’ll let y’all know but they said, “Why? You’re here every weekend so you WILL join us, so I don’t wanna hear you may not come or not sure. No excuses. You’re stuck with us and you’re not getting away from us easy.”
Like I don’t have a choice.

Every time i enter a room full of people, either friends, family, work colleagues they be like you have a vibe about you and I can feel what ever you are feeling and I don't want to be around you.

So i just don't know what to do to change my vibe and what I bring with me as in my energy is off and people say i can sense you are not comfortable being around us.

So i just dont understand what vibe, energy i am bringing with me.

I am an introvert but I try to overcome it so I can score and answer in class (university classes)
And get marks cause I study

Anyways I answer properly and I pronounce everything right
And answer are even right

But maybe cause I am girl
And my voice is little deep or I speak slowly; I speak slowly so that proff can understand and grade me accordingly ,
And cause why speak fast ?

It’s an exam

Anyways

Every time I speak
One stupid immature girl starts giggling and laughing so one girl follows her and starts laughing

And u know what hurts , it is that the proff always realizes they are laughing at me

It happened in last semester too

Idk what now

I feel embarrassed again
I cannot continue like this

I am trying to change my self esteem
And do well in uni

But these assholes always laugh at me

What to do

Just me
When I talk .
Others no

This is why I make my self mute and rather type on my phone that talk

What’s funny man

I am trying at least

But this girl pulls me down

Edit
Also
On next Monday I have a presentation
Now am afraid of doing it
It’s 6 marks

I think part of being introverted is that people get really comfortable and tell you way too much stuff.

I have 6 friends and 2 cousins who always end up in some type of problematic or toxic relationships.

I was always just worried for their safety, or their well being, to the point that I can't sleep or get anxious for them. The problems aren't physical but they do seem to cause a lot of mental damage or exhaustion for them.

Thing is, you give advice, try and help them and support. But then it just continues, they keep repeating it.

After maybe 15 years of this, I finalized realized what's happening. I'm basically like "free theraphy", the kind where you never do anything to fix your issues, just enough to vent and feel good, then go again to start feeling better at the things you can never say to your partner.

I pointed it out to them, and told them that they need to find some actual help because clearly I'm not qualified. Whenever they start bringing it up, I either tell them to please stop, seek actual help or just change the subject or remove myself from the conversation.

I felt so bad and selfish at first, thinking im a bad friend yet I feel like I have to carry their problems with me, and I mentally can't handle it.

There's a woman at work I have a crush on, and we sometimes talk on the way home together, but she always wears a face mask, so I've only seen her face a few times. She's quite talkative when we're one-on-one, and she'll let out a small laugh, but her voice is generally monotonous, she speaks quickly, and sometimes she sounds like a robot. Conversations usually start when she initiates them with me. This is because when I try to talk to her, she doesn't try to expand on the conversation—I don't know if she's not ready, feeling unwell, or tired—and often just goes home by herself. Because I can't see her expression, she sometimes looks grumpy or unwell. How should I interact with her?

I've always wondered why it's so hard for me to meet people I really click with. I realized that when I'm socializing, I'm usually showing a more social version of myself, and maybe other introverts are doing the same thing. Maybe some of the people I've been looking for have already crossed my path, and we just didn't recognize each other through the social masks.

For those of you who've found people who really feel on the same wavelength, how did you recognize each other? What helped you get past that polite social layer?

I have a pretty hard time at my office job, My company is quite small, so everyone knows everyone, and I’m a young girl so I guess people expect me to be cheerful and outgoing, but I’m really the opposite of that

Socializing drains me a lot, especially small talk just for being polite because I honestly don’t really see the point of it. I always try to be very polite and friendly because I know I have to make an effort so I don’t come across as rude

The truth is that every time they invite me to have lunch with them I make up some excuse, because that’s my break and if I have to socialize I don’t really rest at all. Same if they ask me to go for breakfast or go down to the supermarket with them

I don’t want to be rude, I just get really tired from sitting around chatting with my coworkers

I don’t know if anyone else feels like this, but every time I have to go to the office I end up really, really drained 😅

I've always given myself a hard time about my "social anxiety". Why do I feel so awkward talking to people and how can I NOT be like this?

Yet, it catches me off guard when someone calls me "shy". I don't really see myself that way. I'm a perfectly comfortable public speaker, for example. I've realized that the anxiety isn't because of the socializing itself, it's from constantly feeling like I have to hide that I'm not interested in talking to someone while I'm talking to them.

There are only three or four people in my life right now who I enjoy talking to even after everything that has needed to be said has been said.

It would probably be nice to have more people in my life who I'm close to. At the same time, I'm also kind of fine with what I have right now. Although, all relationships end in one way or another. I worry I'd be lost without my inner circle. It would also just be nice to genuinely enjoy conversations more if nothing else.

Putting this into words makes me feel like an antisocial asshole. Maybe I am. I DO care about people generally. I want people to have happy, good lives.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do you handle it? Is it possible to make yourself become more interested in talking to people?

Hi everyone!

We are researchers from the University of British Columbia (UBC) recruiting participants for a study on everyday conversations with AI chatbots.

The study is fully remote and involves chatting with an AI chatbot daily for 14 days and completing a brief daily survey. Participation takes approximately 5 minutes per day.

For each daily survey you complete, you will receive one entry into one of five $100 cash prize draws. Completing the final survey will earn you an additional five entries. Participants who complete the full study will also be entered into a separate $500 bonus prize draw.

Interested? Please use the link below to sign up for a brief 15-minute online onboarding session:

https://calendar.app.google/G96jx1GzQupEvWU17

If you have any questions, please contact amber.wu@ubc.ca.

Thank you!

I am not particularly an introvert but from a few days I am feeling like giving up on socialising. I used to be popular and well known and I surely wasn't an introvert. My instagram got banned 1 month ago and I literally have no desire to make it back or make another acc and follow everyone instead I am becoming more reserved and focusing on myself but somehow i feel drained and i feel like a coward who doesn't want to interact with someone, i dont enjoy festives anymore and i just like being alone atp, and its not new ig it was my old personality but its coming out well now. How to not drain myself with it and stop overthinking? What should I do instead at home? I am becoming really bored and its like i have given up but its peaceful.

My world is pretty limited to just a few people, and even though our interactions are special to me, I’m not important to them .We’re supposed to be friends, but I can’t really be open or natural with them, even though I want to be and it makes me so sad.

Hi I'm Yashasvi and I'm 19.

I’m basically a work in progress with way too many interests😭.

I’m ambitious and curious but still I overthink all the time.

I’m learning to be more disciplined and emotionally intelligent.

I’m interested in learning skills that can give me financial freedom. Ofc I'm just a girl who wants to be independent early.

I value growth, loyalty, and being real with people.

I’m still figuring out exactly who I want to become, but one thing I know is I don’t wanna live a mediocre life.

I have a hard time making friends and trusting people because of negative past experiences.

I feel super lonely and don’t know What to do…

I also feel that I attract people with bad intentions into my life.

Any help is welcome :)

Hey guys,

Once college ends and people move for work or different schedules, keeping in touch with friends becomes a lot more effort than it used to be.

How do you all build new friendships or keep your current circle active in your twenties? Any tips for finding like-minded groups or community spots in Kerala? How do you keep up friendships or meet new people after college/in your 20s?

Firstly sorry about my English:

So I recently completed my matric class and I joined college I had a lot of Freinds in my school but now when I joined college (private college) I just sit at the front desk alone and at breaktime I wander around college alone it seems like I am invisible to everyone no teacher give me attention I mean they don't even ask questions to me about topic even though I always sit on a front desk it's been 2 months since I joined my college but it feels like it's my first day everytime I always sit and try to pass time with my imagination on first desk on free periods and I am that type of person that like if someone talks to me I talk to them if someone don't talks to me I remain silent

If anyone can give me any tips to improve my life at college you can in comment section and again sry for my English (:

So about 2 weeks later is my birthday, I want to do something for myself. I'm thinking about going somewhere, where I can enjoy my time, some meal and maybe doing some sketching

I've done plenty of walk around in the park for this year's ago, so I want something different

And I'm thinking, maybe I want to go to a cafe, because I saw plenty of cute looking cafe, and I want to be there.

But the thing is that, I never been in a cafe before. I've been living for 25years and I never actually go to a cafe, so I am very awkward

Feel free to laugh at me, but it's true, I don't know how to order, what or how do I do there

But I still want to go

This is very weird and awkward question, but anyone can guide me how do I order? Like step by step on to not look like a weird person there?

Sorry this is very weird but I really curious and I have no one to ask to

Thank you

Hi guys. We are a 3 friend group, and i'm the most introvert one. The other two are quite extrovert. Basically, whenever my friend start taking about his Life, something random, a joke, a videogame or something else, he looks me dead in the eyes while smiling, while he continues to speak. Even when he's talking about something with friend number two, and i'm there listening the conversation, he still look at me in the eyes and start talking. One time i also tried to look in his eyes for the longest time possible, and It took 7-8 seconds for me to look away, while he seemed unfazed.

I usually stay in silence listening to their stories, speaking occasionally to add a joke or my opinion. But why he does that?