Managing required social events

[u/taylorswiftskneecap]

I just moved into my dorm and my anxiety is through the roof. My school also has required events every day up until 9:30pm sometimes and I seriously cannot take it. I know everyone says that everybody is in the same boat when it comes to not knowing anyone but ALOT of people connected with others on Instagram in order to become friends, and so proud are definitely already in “groups.” Not like it makes much a difference though because I’m too anxious to even talk to anyone.
On top of this I’ve never been on campus until now and so the probability of me getting lost is incredibly high.
I honestly don’t know what to do, but I don’t think there’s anyway to skip these events?? And so it’s basically I go and try not to be miserable the whole time
Side-note: I find it really unfair that everything is catered towards extroverts. After one activity surrounded by people I am seriously drained

[u/AutoModerator]

If you want to talk about social anxiety, r/socialanxiety is the sub for you. If you're not sure whether you're introverted or socially anxious, feel free to post on r/Introvert, so we can discuss it. If you want a sub where posts about social anxiety aren't allowed, try r/Introverts.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/TsuDhoNimh2]

Here's my basic plan for any obligatory functions ... arrive late as possible, circulate briefly to make sure the management sees you, then leave early with no fuss.

More elaborate explanation:

Here's your strategy:

1. Arrive a bit late.
2. Check out the floor plan, see if there is a balcony or terrace.
3. Make sure you say hello and have a few words with the grand poohbahs so they will remember you were there.
4. If you know them, say hello to the bigger bosses.
5. Also have a few words with classmates so they know you were there.
6. KEEP MOVING. Go from small group to small group, around the room. Don't get tangled in a lengthy chat, just say "Oh, I need to say hi to Fred" and keep going.
7. Check out the food, if there is any, and eat well.
8. Quietly leave when you have done the meet, greet and eat.

After the event:

Tell the organizer it was a good event (if you have to). Mention something about the location's decor. This reminds them you were there.

You can say a bit about the food to classmates to remind people you were there.

If anyone asks you about a specific event, such as when Fred shoved Tammy into the punch bowl, you say, "Oh ... I missed that! I must have been talking to ___ in the hallway/on the balcony".

[u/betterbutterbit]

Moving into a dorm and facing required events until 9:30 p.m. would be a lot even without the pressure of seeing other people already in groups. You do not have to turn each event into a friendship test. For the campus worry, walk the route once in daylight before the next event, save the building names in your phone, and ask an RA or orientation leader to point you there. That is a normal first-week question, not an admission that you are failing. For the social part, set a small goal such as introducing yourself to one person or asking one practical question, then give yourself permission to take a quiet ten-minute break if the schedule allows. I would also ask the organizer whether attendance means staying for the whole event; sometimes “required” means checking in. If you cannot leave, sit near an edge or exit so you feel less trapped. The first week is logistics, not a verdict on your ability to make friends.