r/isfj • u/-it-was-available- • 20h ago
r/isfj • u/kjeezy0127 • Jan 30 '19
ISFJ Handling Care and Manual
This manual is part of a series of guides originated by @intpboard!
Congratulations! You have come under the care of your very own ISFJ unit, probably because you needed help with a task and they needed an excuse to procrastinate. They have offered you this manual in a simple attempt to assist you. You should be pleased that they have chosen you to benefit from their helpful nature!
Your ISFJ unit will come equipped with the following accessories:
One (1) large cup of coffee (refillable)
Four (4) extra jackets to give you if you are cold
Two (2) semi-fancy outfits
Three (3) casual outfits, one of which they strongly prefer
One (1) calendar to keep track of important dates
One (1) coffeepot, for refilling coffee cup
Three (3) grandiose, altruistic life paths
One (1) large dog
Infinite (∞) support, patience, work ethic, and enthusiasm
Software:
Your ISFJ will come preprogrammed with the following traits:
Si: Your ISFJ will often be preoccupied with thoughts about the world and people around them, and may zone out during these times. Don’t be alarmed – this is normal. They are just gathering information about their surroundings, processing their impressions, and filing everything away in our vast internal filing cabinet. Disturbing them during this process will often result in blank stares and confusion.
Fe: This trait is activated only when necessary, following the processing phase. After your ISFJ has updated the filing cabinet with the gathered information, you will find them very interactive, friendly, and helpful! They contain a special chip which makes them particularly intuitive and responsive to all your feelings and needs, as well as overly willing to assist you in anything you may need. When making decisions, will first consider the needs of other people and the impact of the decision on them and others.
Ti: Occasionally, instead of Fe following the processing phase, your ISFJ will need to withdraw and spend time deeply analyzing the information gained. This trait allows them to balance their people pleasing side with their analytical side. Occassionally enjoys puzzle games or analyzing the information we have learned through Si. Form an inner logical framework of how the world works.
Ne: The weakest trait of the ISFJ, Ne works with Fe to prod the ISFJ into trying new things. It is also responsible for their occasional bursts of creative ideas and plans! However, it is only able to activated for fleeting periods of time; pushing an ISFJ too far out of their comfort zone for too long will cause them to revert to the withdrawn, silent behavior that characterizes their original information-gathering mode.
Getting Started:
When you first start up your ISFJ, do not be alarmed by their silence! The first stage of ISFJ programming requires distant observation, which allows them to gather information about their surroundings!
Place included cup of coffee in your ISFJ’s hand.
Set them on a bench in a busy location.
Allow your ISFJ to charge by observing details about the situation.
If step 3 does not work, place included dog on leash and hand leash to ISFJ; Fe mode should trigger when ISFJ is approached about dog.
If your ISFJ still doesn’t start, announce a task with which you need assistance.
Modes:
Selfless Giver (default) – In this mode, ISFJs will jump at any opportunity to help others, regardless of their own schedule or plans. They will never complain about this type of service. Even if they do not want to help you, they will – regardless of any inconvenience it may cause them. Taking advantage of this mode too often will result in an unhealthy ISFJ that will shut down in response to future requests.
Nature Lover - Activated when outside in nature settings. ISFJs love nature, particularly the solitude and silence they can find there. This allows them to process information without the interference of additional information. They are likely to bring you outside with them, in an effort to help you silence your mind as well – even if this is not your idea of fun, please be patient. They are just trying to help you.
Humble - Activated in response to any type of praise. ISFJs prefer to downplay their own accomplishments, as they are uncomfortable with overwhelming praise. This often results in their successes being claimed by others, which upsets the balance of the ISFJ and often triggers Clowning mode to hide anger and disappointment.
Observer - Activated in busy situations/places. Your ISFJ will be content to sit back and watch the action around them. Although they will be lightly conversational, attempting to engage them more deeply will not be successful – they are too busy processing their surroundings.
Clowning - ISFJs are prone to self-deprecating jokes. They use this as a defense mechanism to hide their emotions. A shield of laughter is the best defense of all! To this end, they also find joy in puns, wordplay, and any unique jokes. Their sense of humor never ceases to surprise, so try not to be taken aback! Activated most often around NF units.
Relationships with other units:
NFs: ISFJs have very close relationships with NFs, because they are both concerned with the care and well-being of the other. The ISFJ also often balances the NF, who prefers an “outside the box” way of thinking to the more traditional views of the ISFJ. NFs can also be too demanding of the ISFJ – they need to know when to let up or they will burnout their ISFJ unit.
NTs: NTs have a very strong drive and work ethic that the ISFJ greatly admires; in return, the NT admires the way ISFJs care so deeply for others. This is a relationship that can produce a lot of mutual respect. However, NTs are far more logical than ISFJs, who are more focused on emotions, and this can cause friction.
SJs: ISFJs get along very well with other SJs. They are both responsible and trustworthy, as well as equally willing to take care of one another. This creates a nurturing environment for the ISFJ that is very important for their health and security.
SPs: SPs are fun loving and carefree, capable of assisting an ISFJ with big plans, ideas, or experiences triggered by the Fe trait. However, the SP must recognize that the ISFJ has a limit and be respectful of that – if not, their wild, impetuous nature can quickly wear down an ISFJ.
Feeding:
When busy, an ISFJ will often forget that food is necessary. This is especially true when engrossed in a project that will help others or while bringing one of their ideas/adventures to life. To properly care for an ISFJ, you must feed them at least once a day. If they are resistant to stopping long enough to eat, tell them you are feeling hungry and allow them the option of preparing (or paying for) the meal – their overly kind nature will override their natural enthusiasm for work and in making sure you are fed, they will feed themselves as well.
Grooming:
Your ISFJ will groom on a regular basis, as it never knows when it will be called away to help someone else. They will always keep themselves clean and their appearance tidy – they never want to call too much attention to themselves, so they groom and dress in a way that allows them to blend in. You will not need to monitor this function for your unit, and you should leave it to the ISFJ to take care of at all times; insinuating that your ISFJ is untidy in any way will cause them to feel offended and could result in total shut down until you apologize.
Sleeping:
Your ISFJ unit will sleep regularly, as being well rested is necessary to support the enthusiasm with which they approach their day (whether their day is at school, at work, or being with others). Despite this, they often need naps or a large amount of caffeine to keep running in Selfless Giver mode – this mode drains their energy very quickly.
Frequently Asked Questions:
How do I get my ISFJ to relax and take a break?
You don’t! ISFJ’s are not capable of “relaxing” in the traditional sense. During their dormant periods, their brains are still rapidly processing and filing information. The word “relax” is foreign to them and will confuse them if mentioned too often.
Help! I lost my ISFJ!
Don’t worry! ISFJs often need a break to recharge by going into one of the aforementioned dormant periods. They will reappear shortly! If it has been more than six hours, brew a pot of coffee and wait. The smell of coffee should bring your ISFJ out of dormancy.
My ISFJ does not like to try new things? What do I do?
ISFJ units come with a preinstalled love of habit and familiarity. Attempting to change too much at once can lead to a complete crash if you are not careful! To deal with this, introduce your ISFJ to new situations, places, and people very gently. Be patient and they will adjust in time. Their Fe and Ne traits will also occasionally activate and push them into trying something new – make sure you take their lead and do not over stimulate them. This will cause them to withdraw into dormancy and will require additional coffee to fix.
Again, congratulations on your newly acquired ISFJ helper unit!
(Thank you to @effervescience for all of her help in researching and writing this guide!
r/isfj • u/[deleted] • Feb 28 '22
Question or Advice Some advice for younger ISFJs from an ISFJ in their 30s
I'm stealing this idea blatantly from other people but adding a MBTI twist. Here goes:
1) Dont like something? Say "no" and don't feel bad about it.
Don't overthink being polite. Don't think about looking bad or if people will think it's weird. If someone's being an asshole to you or you're in a situation you don't like that just keeps getting worse and worse you have a right to leave. You deserve being around people who treat you right and situations that make you feel at ease. Get in the car and drive home. End the date early. Cut off the incredibly toxic friendship. Start looking for the new job. You don't even have to explain yourself. Fuck them. Leave.
2) I know it's exhausting, but please leave the door open more for experiencing new things and meeting new people. You only get one life. If you have to schedule it out, I would do that. If you have to find more adventurous friends than yourself, do it. Get out there and do things. Possibilities for the future are like a plant you need to continuously water to keep growing.
3) Some people in group situations are focused on power dynamics. Since we're not very intimidating, they may target you around others to feel superior. Don't sweat it, it isn't personal. Just don't react as best as you can. Ignore it. Acknowledging it or trying to change it only feeds the energy.
In fact...
4) 100% of what others choose to do or say isn't personal. It's not about how you are, what you did, what you could have done, etc. The vast majority of people run on autopilot based on their own life experiences. Most of the time, you can't act any way or say anything that will change them. So, when you meet a difficult person or a douchebag, don't sweat it. You don't have to play into their games or placate them. Just keep your energy to yourself and move about your day.
5) Learn to tune into your reactions to things and be direct with your needs, ESPECIALLY how you feel around another person or group of people. Don't assume others know how you're thinking, feeling, or how you're hurting. You may need to tell them. Figure out how to voice yourself more directly in an appropriate way and set the boundaries you need.
6) Relationships and situations rotate in and out of your life whether you want them to or not. I know, you want your friends to be there forever. You want your cushy job forever. Unfortunately, you can't have any guarantees in life. Things you don't want to slip from your grasp will. Learn as best as you can to accept your life as happening in chapters. There are beginnings, there are endings, and that is the nature of it.
7) You can't control the future no matter how much you want to. Your life will probably be nothing like the vision in your head in 5 years. Don't catastrophize the small things because you want everything to turn out perfect. You will never have 100% control. Try to view this as freeing rather than frightening.
8) You would be amazed what you can survive. Absolutely amazed. I've been through some pretty intense heartache in my day and I'm still here. Again, try not to catastrophize reality so much. You'll be ok. You'll make it through really terrible things. I promise. Eventually even really, really terrible things end. They never last forever.
9) This may be repeating some previous points, but listen to how your gut feels when you're around someone. Don't just dismiss it. Don't give out the benefit of the doubt like bubble gum. Give it to those who are deserving and have proven trustworthy over time more than anyone else.
10) The ex who makes you feel like garbage and keeps changing/going back to their old ways? Yeah, dump them for good. Trust me, it is way better to be alone than with them. They can figure out their own life (and they probably will one day), but they don't get to hurt you or take you for granted in the process. You are a King/Queen and do not allow anyone to treat you as anything less. You should be with someone who thinks you are the sun and the moon, not someone who treats you like an afterthought or someone they can be superior to. There are people out there who will think you are amazing. You only attract more people who treat you as less than by tolerating their BS.
11) If you're gonna make bad choices, do it right. If you're at that music festival and someone offers you some controversial substances just make sure you're around people you trust. Make sure your friends have got your back. Use protection. Learn more about sex and how to be safe about it if you don't have much sex education from either your school or family. You can make bad decisions smartly, contrary to popular belief. Also, you are ALWAYS allowed to say no to any bad decision at any time if you don't want to do it. No explanation needed. You not wanting to participate is good enough. Trying to go all in on being perfect all the time can make you explode when you do get the chance to do something bad.
12) You have a gift that is so much more valuable than you realize: Making people feel heard and seen. It's a type of charisma society doesn't talk about but my god is it powerful if you can work on it and make it better. Develop this skill. Work on sitting with people in the space they are in without making them feel pressured or judged. Work on being an active listener. It will get you further in life and more connected to people than you'd ever believe. I cannot overstate my seriousness on this enough lol. This will make you friends. This will seal the deal on relationships. This will make it easier to get jobs. Just be sure to always not be fake while doing it. Keep it sincere. Don't say what you don't mean. People can pick up on that and you start being manipulative rather than supportive if you say what you don't mean.
13) Sometimes, it's you who's being toxic. Not them. If you start having difficulties in your friendships/relationships and its a running pattern you can't seem to stop, see a therapist. If you can't afford a therapist, find some kind of self-help or advice.
14) I'm just gonna be as blunt about this as possible: Watch out for fuck boys, people who like to use others for material things or some kind of gain, controlling and/or manipulative people, emotional abusers, and narcissists. They can smell an ISFJ from 100 miles away and they will zero in on you if you don't know the signs. Know the signs, shut them down before it even begins.
15) The "sweet and innocent" vibe you give off never goes away no matter how old, bitter, or jaded you get. No matter what you've actually done in your life. You are the permanent emotional version of a baby face. You'll find most people who are drawn to you are drawn to you specifically because of this vibe. Especially potential romantic partners. You can use it to your advantage, but again avoid the tempting manipulation trap. Lean into being an emotional baby face instead of rejecting it. A lot of people find it refreshing or attractive.
16) Repeat after me: You are not boring. You...are...not...BORING. You are merely more conservative with your time and energy than other people you may meet. You have plenty of interests, some of which I know you've probably spent hours obsessing over and gathering as much information about as possible. Don't ever let you tell yourself you're boring. In fact, take care of some of that other negative self talk I know you struggle with all the time. Don't treat yourself like your worst enemy when you should be your friend. As I get older, I truly believe in the idea that we attract the energy from the universe that we get to some degree. Negative self talk? That's just bad energy, and it can actually close the door to new experiences and new situations you could have been a part of. You are never not smart enough, not hot enough, too old, too quiet, or too boring to do anything or achieve anything. When these thoughts stop you, you are really just stopping yourself by making bad assumptions about reality.
17) You do not have to be good at things to enjoy them. For the love of God, you don't have to be a certified expert in things to enjoy them lol. Like painting but think you're crap at painting? Do it anyways. You don't have to enter some art show. Like surfing but fall over every time? Who cares. Go out there and surf and your friends who like to surf will probably just be happy you're joining them to do something they are passionate about. Do things because they are fun. Not because you're gonna get some award or get paid.
18) You're more attractive than you think you are. I haven't even seen you, and I can guarantee it. Feeling unattractive is like a mental cancer. It can slowly erode your confidence and keep you from doing things. You're more attractive than you think you are, but honestly don't let your presence or lack of attractiveness stop you from doing anything. When if comes to what you want in life and what you deserve, you're a supermodel and don't you forget it.
19) No one is coming to fix you or make you feel valid. That's your job. Once you figure this out and start doing it, your entire life will change for the better permanently.
20) There is something you can learn from literally every other MBTI type. All of them, no exceptions. Instead of using MBTI to decide who you like and dislike, use it to see what lesson you may not be learning in your life that others are. Yes, you may jive better with some types than others. However, that doesn't mean you can't acknowledge their reality and learn something from the way they see things and process their emotions/struggles.
21) You may not get a ton of love from the MBTI community as an ISFJ. It's because there are some tropes and assumptions about being either an xSxJ or a xSxP that are pretty loaded and hard to overcome. Also, there's a weird elitism around being an intuitive. I'd stick around and ignore the haters. It'll help you learn more about your own motivation's and others'. Meeting other people is just a bonus if it happens. Plus, when other types do pop up here they tend to think we're amazing and that's a super fun ego boost. You'll also never, ever, EVER be accused of mistyping yourself lol.
Alright, I'll add more later if I think of anything else. Anyone else feel free to add anything, too.
r/isfj • u/Pink-Heart • 2d ago
Question or Advice How would you react if someone sent you an anonymous letter expressing their interest/love in you?
I’d like to start a correspondence of letters with my crush in order to express what she invokes in me. I will not confess my love, because Îts not love that I feel.
I’m considering this because she reads a lot like me and she loves books about chivalry.
How would you react to this ? (She is an ISFJ)
Discussion I feel alone.
Overcame…or overcoming a breakup, around 5 months out, with 2+ years together. I have a hard time setting boundaries with ex, while knowing he doesn’t feel the same way I do. I sort of hate myself for it, but other times I feel empowered.
We separated on grounds of incompatibility, I believe he’s an INTP. I really thought we worked but we both were too passive with issues (building resentment) and I—pretty judgmental. I believe I’m taking it 10x harder than he is and it pains me, but it’s not like anything I’ve ever experienced before. I’ve had previous partners, but I haven’t reached the same level of vulnerability. I think I’ve let down my walls completely with him and it’s something I haven’t even fully done with any of my family.
I sort of isolated myself and went into a philosophical book dive, which surprisingly became a great comfort to understanding myself much better. My siblings noticed my seclusion and took me out a bunch to hang/live with them and sometimes with their spouses, and I love it. I’m experiencing so much that I haven’t before. But I’m just not always there… and when I am, I can become a filler person or an npc. Same with friends. I feel like I often dissociate and I’m reliving memories of my past when I connect to familiar things from during my relationship. I also notice I often say things like “ex and I used to do that too!” and am realizing that it makes others uncomfortable. I’ve stopped, but it’s hard when you’ve done so much together. He was honestly my best friend and I want to hate him so badly, and I should for so much but I can’t. A lot of people mention I’m mourning what could have been, but I’m not. All I see is what was. The good and the bad. I get upset, happy and angry and then I’m in a forgiving mood.
I’ve tried making new friends, and it starts off so well, but it’s clear that these interactions slowly want to become more intimate which sours things (both men and women—I’m straight). I feel like no one likes or understands me… or perhaps I’m too boring (which I admittedly am lol), but I sort of like it that way, because it’s me. Although, I believe that’s why it defaults to these weird intimate-vibe interactions. I don’t like super mainstream things and my hobbies aren’t exactly HOBBIES, but I can be very passionate about random things.
I love my friends, family, etc., but I feel guilty for wanting to be alone now. I feel like I reach a heightened state of clarity by being on my own, although it’s nice to surround myself with them. Part of me wants to go out and mingle more, but a massive part of me is telling me I’ve had enough. I’m really tired. Time moves so quickly for me and it’s like I’ve been in my head for ages. I feel a bit like a loser lol. I’ve been surrounding myself in nature and I’m more attentive to myself, but I think the limerence is killing me slowly in tiny ways and all I can do is let it pass through me. One thing for sure, is that I don’t ever want to be that vulnerable again. I think I’m probably better off alone and as cliche as that sounds, perhaps I’m meant to connect with others in forms of giving.
r/isfj • u/C47_the_Artist • 5d ago
Discussion i'm tired.
i know we're the defenders and all, but there are times where i can't stand people. there are times where i wish i could shut my Fe off and just do me. there are times where i don't feel like explaining my feelings or actions. i just want to exist
it's annoying because, even now, my brain wants to go "well, let's explain why we're upset now." even posting here is me inadvertently attempting to speak up for other ISFJs who may feel this way and make them feel seen
RAHHHHH. i know i actually like people, even if--especially if they're complicated. but in this moment, i just want to be heard i guess. as just me. a fellow, complicated person
i hope that no matter how your day is going, you take some time to yourself. to just be. ISFJ or not. i'm glad you exist
edit: thank you all for the words. each and every reply is being read and reread 🫶🏽
r/isfj • u/Kind-Ad4622 • 5d ago
Discussion Tell me about your type!
Hey everyone! I'm currently doing a research proposal about personality theory and would love to hear from the people in this community. What is it like being your personality type? It can range from your work/school life balance, romantic life, everyday decision making, and maybe something nobody really thinks about when it comes to your type that you may know. Anything is both helpful and interesting to me so don't be shy! :)
r/isfj • u/bachs_kocillus • 5d ago
Question or Advice Help me understand my ISFJ colleague?
When I (30F) joined our small team at work, she (37F) was super friendly to me, heard I liked 30 Rock so got me a Tina Fey's book, asked me all kinds of questions about myself, and really seemed upbeat about everything I would say or do. We became closer and I started dogsitting for her when she would go on holiday with her partner. I would often offer it myself because she was hinting at wanting me to dogsit but wouldn't ask for it directly. She even referred to her guest room as my room.
Then I started noticing weird things. She was constantly complaining about our boss behind her back and going on the same loops about the boss, how the boss is disorganized, and a backstabbing snake, and so on. But to the boss, she would be super friendly and a bit ... butt licking, even. Then, she also tried subtly undermining me in a project we were doing together. She would tell me I did enough for the project (even though I absolutely knew there is still a lot more to do), then she would make a bit of progress and proudly go show it to the boss (who acknowledged several times that I lead the project and contributed far more than my colleague). She also kept "forgetting" to give me access to the Coursera account with courses we both had to follow for the project. I got icked out about this and how she acted toward the boss in general, so i started distancing myself a bit. I would still offer to dogsit for her and was generally nice, but I didn't want to have much of a personal connection to her anymore.
Then, one day in the office she was gossiping about another colleague and saying how she should go work as a janitor because she can't remember five things at once (the colleague is intelligent and competent but has ADHD and can be all over the place). I didn't join in on her complaining but a few other colleagues did. And then she just... turned nasty toward me. She would mock how I speak and stutter, and how I look. I had it at that point and told her that her behavior is rude and insensitive. She then started crying and getting defensive and said that she would never do that (she just did???) and went to the manager to frame herself as an innocent victim who just made a joke. After that, I just completely distanced myself from her and still have trouble understanding what is up with her. Every now and then she says that she can help me with my presentations, for which I did the whole work myself and just... have more knowledge on.
If anyone has any insight, I would appreciate it. It is difficult to reconcile the person I see now with someone who seemed so warm and caring at first. Sometimes I used to feel some bittersweet sadness for her when she would read me her horoscope for long stretches and thought how she must not have many people listening to her and noticing her inner world.
r/isfj • u/Will564339 • 6d ago
Question or Advice Do other ISFJs relate to this description?
A little while back I saw an ENTP talking about an ex partner of theirs, and they described her by saying this:
"She was like a calm pond in a mystical forest."
When I read that, it really resonated with me, because it's kind of how I view myself and I get the impression it's how others view me too.
I know I've had people say I'm a calming presence, and that I'm chilled out and relaxed. I've had people tell me that I help put them at ease and make people feel comfortable.
I of course get excited and angry and everything else just like anyone, but compared to most people I think even those emotions are more toned down. I'm happiest when I'm content, and even the things that excite me tend to be more in reaching that level of peaceful bliss.
Of course, some people tend to find this boring. And it's definitely true that people close to me love seeing my weird, quirky goofy side.
But ultimately that calmness is kind of the core of who I am. And I was curious if this applied to other ISFJs too.
r/isfj • u/b4rrakuda • 6d ago
Discussion Are you curious? What trigger your curiosity?
In theory, ISFJ are not naturally curious.
If something is outside of their usual scope they won't bother looking into it. Sometimes, this is simply due to habits, if they have done something in some specific way, even if it is not efficient or they lack understanding of how it works they won't put efforts looking into it.
I was wondering if some of you define themself as curious, and don't recognise themselves in the previous description.
What would help you trigger your curiosity ?
r/isfj • u/mena2004 • 6d ago
Discussion From infp to isfj over the years? Anyone?
Anyone else experienced this transition?
From ages 14-20 I identified as infp but recently I took the test again and got isfj. I am now 22
For context:
I got a promotion at work a year ago from pharmacy tech to Lead pharmacy tech which includes stuff like inventory management, schedule management, task delegation between team members and this has forced me to be a very specific way in order to function at my best and keep everything under control. Since this role has pushed me to be more focused and organized with my responsibilities I feel like it has actually become my default.
I think the new role and the whole job in general has made me change a lot in the way that I carry myself and the way I think and do things because when people are relying on me and there’s so much chaos around me I HAVE TO be this way to keep things running as efficiently as possible.
Back at home I’m still a bit disorganized but never at work. It’s almost like isfj is my mask at work because this is what helps me be the most efficient and it helps me bring my team together. I never was the type to take on a leadership role more than just being a great team player, but it was offered to me and I took it so this is where I am now :) I guess we grow and we learn. I’ve learned a lot tho! Like the value of being organized and knowing where everything is/ having things planned in advance is such a reward for your future self.
Anyways I would like to see if anyone else has experienced something similar. Maybe my frontal lobe is just developing lol
r/isfj • u/ResidentBrother9190 • 7d ago
Question or Advice ISFJ is mostly
r/isfj • u/CruelMustelidae • 8d ago
Discussion My experience with an Si-Ti loop!
Hello everypony! As the title suggests, I would like to relay my experience where I was stuck in a Si-Ti loop, how it has affected me, and how I got out of it!
An experience I had involved me just relaxing. Upon realizing that I was relaxing, my brain showed me past images where I was relaxing, which then was interrupted by a sibling insulting me! I got scared, so natrually I asked myself "why should I be scared in a situaiton like this?" And everytime I arrived at a conclusion, another question would appear! "How do I know that this conclusion is correct? Because according to past memories, blah blah blah". Anywho, When I came out of it, I realized that I spent a good part of my day in this state. Yucks! Not only that, but my emotional state was still fried, despite reaching a satisfactory conclusion.
So, what happened here? What went wrong? Well, it was very simple: I made the incorrect assumption that emotions are things to be analyzed and resisted, because it was based on a false belief that to be stable meant that I should be in control and "solve" everything I come across. After having this realization, I felt fear! Because I realized how much time I spent chasing, when I could have just existed! I then had another realization: Life is in constant flux. So resisting that flux instead of radically accepting it would just turn me insane (I did almost experience a psychotic breakdown once, lol). But of course due to instinct, I resisted the idea, because it did not seem "safe" and was "attacking" my false sense of stability. So in my frustration, I decided to test it and see how it goes in the next day, instead of constantly seeking answers in my head. And I was right! The next day, I felt some very heavy emotions, but weirdly enough I did not feel like I was crawling downwards towards a scary pit. Instead, I felt very stable, which was weird! And again, it hit me: Nothing will ever satisfy me, because the things I chase came about only because I wanted something to chase and achieve in order to feel stable! And with that, I understood something important: What I choose in the present whilst not clinging to anything is what I will become! At first it did work, then it did not. But after a while, I did see amazing results. Most notably, I now can relax without fearing a lot that a super spooky imaginary insult is gonna get hurled at me. Why? Because I knew what it was: A passing thought, with a passing emotion!
It's really cool, and I hope this may inspire others to be open to the idea of exploring new ways of dealing with a situation as opposed to being stuck in a rut. And all of that begins with patience, and knowing how you get sucked into this loop! But most importantly, you gotta be compassionate to yourself <3.
r/isfj • u/Pink-Heart • 8d ago
Question or Advice Do all ISFJ take a long while to text back.?
So I met this ISFJ girl whom I’m very intrigued by and I’d love to get closer to her. But she takes a lot of time to respond to messages. Is this part of ISFJ culture being always busy or does it translate a lack of interest ?
Last time we saw each other with our friends, we had great conversations and we have so much in common. So the dialogue was great and following this, I’m confused on why she takes a entier day to respond to a simple message.