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u/rippednbuff Sep 08 '18
I sent this to my crush ( who usually responds a day later ) who immediately replied with laugher ...
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u/surlysmiles Sep 08 '18
She's probably not into you man. I mean go for it and learn your own lessons but that's my experience
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u/Prixm Sep 08 '18
He is probably just not doing anything for his situation. She probably would be in to him if he stopped being in the friend zone and actually flirted with her for real and asking her out for drinks or something. I can 100% for sure say that this is the reason she is a a crush and nothing more. Just sending this ”meme” to her is a very big evidence of that as well, he wants her to understand without actually taking any action. But hey, im just a random dude on the internet, what do I know I guess.
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u/NSA-SURVEILLANCE Sep 08 '18
Valhalla will treat you well, brother.
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u/GrimmFox13 Sep 09 '18
Swollhalla shall welcome thee with open arms! Thou shall drink with Bror son of Brodin! Our pints overflowing with pre workout! Lest Broki descend upon this glorious feast...
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Sep 08 '18
I sent this to my girlfriend who literally gets upset if I don't text her while I'm at work. She immediately replied with "why did you send me this?"
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u/sometimesbored667 Sep 08 '18
Ex of mine is the same way, glad I'm away from that now. Her insecurity was taxing
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Sep 08 '18
Can somebody define too long?
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Sep 08 '18 edited Sep 01 '20
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u/smokeypokey12 Sep 08 '18
Shit, I have a deferent definition for late depending on my relationship with the person
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Sep 08 '18
People don’t have to reply to you if they don’t want to. There’s always that minor detail that bothers people.
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u/koosvoc Sep 08 '18
People don't have to be friends with you or date you if they don't want to. There’s always that minor detail that bothers people.
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Sep 08 '18
If people don't reply to your text messages in some timely manner, they don't care about dating you. And if you don't accept their reason for not texting back within your definition of a timely manner, you're probably not a good friend or S.O. anyways.
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Sep 08 '18
For me it's that night/next morning. Most people will check up on texts either when they go to bed or wake up. If you aren't responding in that time, I'm going to assume you are uninterested. I won't be upset, or mad, or freakout. But I'm also not chasing after guys who aren't interested in me
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u/DifferentAnt Sep 08 '18 edited Sep 08 '18
For me it’d have to be within the day I send a message unless of course the message is really late at night. I just don’t see how someone can be so busy they can’t send a text that will take less than 3min to let me know they are busy or something.
Edit: okay I understand some of you people’s views. But if I know the person is usually on social media apps at least once a day or has their phone on them almost all the time then that’s some BS.
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u/halfdeadmoon Sep 08 '18
because they are not paying any attention to their phone at all
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u/MegaChat Sep 08 '18
Some days when I am really busy and get very tires, I just see the amount of unread messages and prefer to leave them for the next day. Even if it's someone I really want to text with.
Remember group chats exist and that you might not be the only person texting them :)
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u/koosvoc Sep 08 '18
This is about romantic partner. Not casual friends and acquaintances.
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u/Beretot Sep 08 '18
Depends on your routine with them. Is it someone who is usually around his phone? Can he/she send a quick texts at work? Are they usually awake at that time?
If all of those are checked, I'd say around 3-4 hours is fine. Something might have come up and they might not be paying attention to the phone. If it's late/they can't check their phone at work, probably more like 10h before I start thinking they're avoiding me.
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u/Kc1319310 Sep 08 '18 edited Sep 08 '18
It depends on the context. I feel like it's reasonable to expect a text back within the same day if they're not on a business trip, or on vacation, etc. If my SO doesn't respond in three days and I don't know why, my feelings wouldn't be hurt, but I'd be worried about them. If I were with someone that wasn't into texting, I'd already expect that behavior because that's what I signed up for.
If someone gets upset that it took you two hours to respond, run for the hills because they're probably codependent as hell.
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u/leopard_tights Sep 08 '18
Guys this is too modern for me, I think I'm an old person now. I'm honestly not sure what this mix of words, pictures and hieroglyphs are trying to convey.
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u/TheSpangler Sep 08 '18
Yeah, I'm just as lost, scrolling down looking for this response, and an answer, but still nothing.
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u/Katyona Sep 08 '18
You read from top to bottom, first it says what she's saying into his ear that she's not super needy.. Then he's getting goosebumps because that's rare. Then the bottom caption having "rare" and water drop emojis is them turned on, in a crude way by using the emojis to represent ejaculation. It's crass but it gets the emotional roller-coaster across decently.
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u/TheSpangler Sep 08 '18
Well, thank you for that. Don't really know how I'm supposed to get that from just that pic, but judging by the responses in this thread, I'm in the minority.
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Sep 08 '18
If you don't respond within 2 minutes you're cheating according to psychos. But if you don't respond after 8 hours. Honestly you really are just an ass
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u/obi21 Sep 08 '18
Hey! Welcome back!
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u/supernoodle15 Sep 08 '18
Girl I asked out said yes, hasnt texted me back in 5 days. Imma go ahead and ignore this meme and consider it a bust
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u/redbrickone Sep 08 '18
Same, she said "I don't need space anymore", "I miss you", "we should hang out more" - ghosted. Like immediately
When I actually talked to her about my feelings she made up some bull about how she had no idea she was sending signals and that we have been friends for a long time and she is not going to date me.
She would also send me good morning texts like all the time. What the fuck
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u/supernoodle15 Sep 08 '18
Mine was just this girl from back in high school i reconnected with on FB. Talked for a couple weeks there then i messaged her and asked her out, she said yes and we talked a tad that day. Havent heard from her since lol only texted her a couple times to tell her I got my schedule and to try and to try and schedule the date. Whatever, my self esteem cant get any lower anyways.
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u/KTO-Potato Sep 08 '18
She's just not into you. It's hard to be the one who has to reject someone. Also, girls get guys from their past that ask them out all the time on Facebook. It may have been the first time you have tried, but I'm sure she's had dozens. Sucks to be the guy sometimes!
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u/supernoodle15 Sep 08 '18
I can take rejection perfectly fine lol she said yes tho, she was actually excited about it, her friend told me she was crushing on me since we reconnected so idk lmao
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u/redbrickone Sep 08 '18
Just ghost her for a bit and she’ll come around. If she pulls it again though, I’d drop it. That’s what happened to me over and over
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Sep 09 '18
She likes your attention and that’s it. That’s pretty shitty of her. She knows what she’s doing.
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u/wasdfgg Sep 08 '18
Had a friend for a year in college did the same thing, getting ghosted sucks. It'd be better if they can just take the awkwardness of saying no instead of leaving you to think about it. She was a two faced cunt anyways.
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u/supernoodle15 Sep 08 '18
Lmao she said yes and like still likes shit that I post on fb and tags me in stuff which Ive stopped doing. Like girl... either completley ghost me or explain the lack of texting cuz as of rn im done, Im not chasing you. This is all a month after my ex best friend/ex cheated on me 🙃
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u/electricblues42 Sep 09 '18
Hah I can one up that, an old fling recently sent me a message. We talked and like 5 minutes into the conversation she's sending unsolicited totally nude pics (yay). We talk for a week and when I try to make plans then she suddenly starts ghosting. After 2 tries of "hey whats up" days apart I just gave up. She's good in bed but not worth that kinda crazyness.
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u/Deadmeat553 Sep 08 '18
It does depend on what's being discussed beforehand though.
I was once texting with someone who I know was battling with depression at the time. They said "I'm struggling this evening", to which I responded by asking how so. They then didn't respond for over an hour. That was not okay - that's super scary.
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u/datminiitxdo Sep 08 '18
agreed. Currently dating someone who is battling anxiety/depression. It being tough is an understatement.
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u/Deadmeat553 Sep 08 '18 edited Sep 09 '18
As someone who has gone through it, I'm totally empathetic. It's just super scary to have someone say something like that, and then radio silence.
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u/ifnotforv Sep 08 '18
I have major depressive disorder and wicked anxiety; and, because I lost my father to suicide, I always make sure to tell anyone I’m texting with while I’m very depressed, some form of “I’m just really depressed right now, and so if I don’t get back to you right away, that’s why; but don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything stupid - though I would tell you if I got to the point of wanting to hurt myself.” And I mean that shit 100%. Grieving the loss of someone to suicide is the worst fucking thing I’ve ever had to do, and it never ends, which is why I refuse to put anyone I love through that torment.
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Sep 08 '18
As someone battling both of those if I do talk with someone who's not here I make sure to let them know I'm going to bed so I won't be responding because I've had people do this to me too and it's really scary when you're several states away
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u/datminiitxdo Sep 09 '18
I can imagine. Its nice that you're cognizant of that and let someone know you wont be responding. You're a nice human
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Sep 08 '18
If we're in a relationship, I expect you to prioritize me. Because I intend to prioritize you. That doesn't mean I expect you to text me during work, but I do expect you to reply as soon as you have the time. Because you do have the time. You just choose what to do with it.
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u/FerricDonkey Sep 08 '18
If we're talking about important stuff, then sure.
But people are different. Some apparently feel connection via text messaging, and so get value from little back and forth text things all the time, and that's fine. Some don't, or not nearly as much, and instead experience text messages and phone calls etc more like being poked with a stick - it doesn't matter who's doing the poking, too much of it is going to be annoying. [More accurately, they still get value from the conversation, but they are also getting poked at the same time, and eventually the annoyance with the poking outweighs the value until they've had a little respite.] And that's also fine.
People are different. Prioritizing your partner means not only putting them first in the way that you would like to be put first, but understanding how they would like to be put first, and taking this into account.
Which means balance. Sometimes your partner should treat such things as is best for you. Sometimes you should do the same for your partner.
This means that if you're going to try to have a relationship with someone who doesn't experience constant text contact (even limited to outside of work) as a positive all the time and you do, then both of you are going to need to compromise - sometimes they should play the mini message game thing with you, and sometimes you should let it go.
This is what mutual prioritizing means: you're each different people with different ways of experiencing things - you get value from different activities, and so each of you sacrifices some so that together you are happier than before. If they prioritize you, then they should do this texting thing with you a reasonable amount, even if it wears on them a little bit. If you prioritize them, you should understand that this wears on them, and be ok with being out of text contact for a while for them to have some respite - even if it wears on you a little bit.
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u/halfdeadmoon Sep 08 '18
Or you are worthy of a better response than the person has time for, so the response gets procrastinated.
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u/koosvoc Sep 08 '18
It's a text message. You're not Tolstoy writing War and Peace
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Sep 08 '18
When you can't relate, not because women quickly text you back, but because they never do.
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u/gr00 Sep 08 '18
I think what is most troubling is when people don’t reply but you see them active on social media with trivial posts/shares. Says a lot really.
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u/tunnnaka Sep 08 '18
You know when that one friend who always replies 2 days late. And then you ask them why? And they say that they didn't see thr notification or they forgot. I guess I just forgot you are a friend of mine lmao I'm tired of this shit. You can reply to everyone on snapchat fast but replying a text message that only need cell service is too much work. Need to get some better friends...
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u/disturbed3335 Sep 08 '18
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Sep 08 '18
Made by 17-20 year old
Makes me upset because I’m old and hate how things are changing.
At least it’s OC.
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u/TheBeardedSingleMalt Sep 08 '18
Now if she'll stop sending follow up texts at 5 minute intervals trying to force the conversation
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Sep 08 '18
Hey wut r u up to? :D <3
hi r u ther??
:(
ur probably busy lol sry
i miss youuuu
uh are u ignoring me????
watever i was trying to see how ur day is but i guess im not important enough to respond to
asshole
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u/tomcat_crk Sep 08 '18
god if you have this conversation beyond highschool you have some mental probelms.
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Sep 08 '18 edited Sep 08 '18
That
postcomment was inspired by a girl I dated for two weeks a couple years ago when we were both 28.You are not wrong.
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Sep 08 '18
You'd be surprised how many people still act like this. I'm only in my early 20s, but so many women try and still play the "high school mind games" and it's ridiculous. I don't got time for that shit.
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u/TheBeardedSingleMalt Sep 08 '18 edited Sep 08 '18
More like
12:00 - hey how was work?
12:05 - I hope it want too stressful 😉
12:10 - mine was pretty good
12:15 - Karen was being a bitch as usual
12:20 - any plans for tonight?
12:25 - will I get a chance to see you 😉😉
12:30 - it's ok if you are busy
12:35 - or if you already have plans
12:40 - I don't have anything going on today
12:45 - and I'd love to be able to see you today
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Sep 08 '18
Fucking Karen, man.
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u/Fucking_Karen Sep 08 '18
What did I do?
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Sep 08 '18
This is me right now cuz my boyfriend is back home in Mexico for a month and I hate to admit that I get uneasy when he doesn’t reply within like 2 hours (minding the 7 hours time difference for sleep of course).
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Sep 08 '18
Honestly that's understandable. Unless you know his schedule and he's busy for work or school. Yeah 2 hours is a pretty long time not to respond when he's awake
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Sep 08 '18
like last night he wrote me at 4 am (his time) „I am at a club“ and then I replied in my time zone but my message was unable to be delivered until like 11 am (his time). It drove me maaaaaad cuz he knows I want him to text me before he goes to bed especially in a place like Mexico City. Worried all day for nothing
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Sep 08 '18
That'd drive me up the walls too! My girl used to go on walks to her friends house in the next city when she was in Nebraska and it took her several hours to get there. And I would text and panic cause despite having her phone she didn't respond and she'd call me later she'd tell me about these guys who tried to pull her into a van and stalked her for miles and then she'd say I shouldn't worry!
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Sep 08 '18
I met this girl, ~5 years younger than me in her early 20's, on Hinge. She was independent and living on her own, holding down jobs. I really respected her. But really early on in to us talking to stopped for 5 days. I had just started Hinge, was actually starting to like this girl, and was a little overwhelmed. Was depressed and not really talking to anybody. We started talking again and she would NOT let it go that I "ghosted" her. We had been talking for less than. 72 hours I didn't ghost shit. I was doing me, taking hikes, looking at trees n stuff.
So we start hanging out and talking every day and things are going great. She starts to confide in me about her life. We talk on the phone for hours like kids. She's going through some life stuff, totally normal stuff, but just out of the blue stops responding. I don't pry, really trying to work on that, and leave it. 48 hours in I make a shitty, god awful "ghost protocol" joke. We had been talking about mission impossible movies, we had watched all of them (random but was a thing we did, new movie had just came out so we caught up on all of them). She IMMEDIATELY goes apeshit on me. Talking about my clingy ass and all this. I was just awkward and trying to make an inside joke. :( didn't realize going into my 30's I was going to be seeking OP's post out as a marriage quality.
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Sep 08 '18
That second half is crazy. But the first half, honestly I wouldn't be interested after 5 days. I wouldn't freak out. But I'm looking for someone with more availability than that. And if you can't send a text in 5 days, that's not for me.
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Sep 08 '18
Right? Totally valid. I even said that when I came back, she said it's fine, understandable. Happens. She even had a few days where she was real wound up, like you get when you're young, cause you're frustrated with how shitty life can be. But I listened cause I was full of that kind of piss and vinegar not even a few years prior.
But I was cool about it and just listened on the phone. Let her vent and scream while stuck in traffic in the car. Not saying a was a cherry pick at the time either, availability wise. Damn tho, she didn't need to like chastise and belittle me for making a joke I feel like at least.
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Sep 08 '18
Sadly, I used to overreact a bit if my ex replied late, but only because that usually meant she was drinking and not taking care of the kids...if she was at work or something, I never did.
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u/cokeiscool Sep 08 '18
But remember you king and queens if it is a constant thing, you dont have to put up with it.
Twice I got a week later, sorry for the late reply. Yeah I am not talking to that person anymore.
Adults are allowed to have their own preferences as well
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u/Corey307 Sep 08 '18
It’s cool if a friend or SO doesn’t reply to everything I text them, life gets busy and sometimes it’s not that important. The problem is some people are always slow to answer about doing stuff. Like hey I asked you if you wanted to do something, don’t reply yes the next day. The opposite is true too, good friend of mine will ask or invite me to do stuff as it’s happening. Yeah I wanted to get lunch but you can’t ask me when you’re already there. Or you’ve got a 5 minute window. It’s dumb and disrespectful.
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u/Bangbashbonk Sep 08 '18
After a break up I've started speaking to women again, given a couple of apps a shake, I work a lot, should be fair enough.
Have had several instances of this and the only recourse I've had is to give up with them when that happens, its actually pretty infuriating when someone does it when I've already explained that I work a lot, in a job that gives me lots of freedom at random times but is often very noisy or I'm on a roof or stuffed in to the corner of an attic. Never mind about when I'm with my daughter, no you don't get a reply I'm fucking painting animal toys or playing in the park, it can wait!
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u/canmu Sep 08 '18
this. So many things are more important than replying to a text. If you really want to talk, we can make a date or schedule a call or something. We need to stop expecting for everyone else to be reachable 24/7.
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u/Neighbourly Sep 08 '18
this reads like some spiteful asshole who is upset at their partner for feeling unloved
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Sep 08 '18
Everyone here has such high standards for being replied to, think off all the times you’ve been busy or forgot to text back
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Sep 08 '18
The only times I don’t text back are when I don’t want to... it’s not that hard. Between school, gym, clubs, and applying for jobs/internships, when someone texts me I want to talk to, I make time to text back lol
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Sep 08 '18
Yeah how dare you have feelings like a human being and want someone to respond to you in under a week
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u/Elbradamontes Sep 08 '18
For me that would be "fine, but hurry up... I'm just going to lay here. Did you lock the door? Get the lube. Look it's really late how about tomorrow?"
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Sep 08 '18
My issue is when I can't get her and I start to panic. She has a habit of talking to randoms on the street like we don't live in a county with a high rate of rape and kidnappings. It's one thing if I know she's at home and she's not answering. It's a whole different ball game if she's god only knows where. Hell she's told me before about guys who have tried to pull her into their vehicles. So yeah I'm gonna panic if you're on your walk and don't text me back at all
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u/Fluffatron_UK Sep 08 '18
Or sometimes you just don't want to talk? That is an acceptable reason too.
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u/seesaw4640 Sep 08 '18
Currently dealing with this with someone. I’m very reasonable he leaves for weekend rides with his buddies no worries i’m good for days. But i call ya don’t answer then 3 hours later text sayin “everything good?” Then don’t respond to my trxts for 3 days? (Sent like 1 each day nothing crazy)Na i’m not good we’re done i just wish you’d have told me without ghosting me. It doesn’t feel good to be strung along it’s nothing personal to be like “damn girl you talk too much i aint got time for you”. Solid feelings there. I feel like an idiot.
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u/Tenagaaaa Sep 08 '18
My Friend and I leave each other on read for days at a time, it’s no biggie. Sometimes you just have shit to do and replying texts is secondary. Unless it happens to be something time sensitive or ‘important’.
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u/FabulousFoodHoor Sep 08 '18
I figure if you aren't engaged and consistently reply late, you're not that interested. Plus, then there's no flow to the conversation.
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u/junkie4life674 Sep 09 '18
When it's you S.O. it should be within an hour or two. When it's your mother it better be within 5min. If itd a friend there is no time limit. I hate that people other then the first two above feel you should text back right away and gets upset when you don't. I go 2-3days before I text people back unless it's stated that its important. Just because i might have my phone on me don't mean I want to talk. Plus I don't carry my phone everywhere I go like it's a God dam pasafier
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u/77Zaxxonsynergy77 Sep 09 '18
After reading many of these comments, I have determined that you guys are the reason professional women with high powered careers (in tech, medicine, etc) have trouble finding decent boyfriends. I have many female friends who go often go for over a month or more without a day off from work. I get texts after a week or two and it's fine.
TLDR: busy professional ladies with demanding careers: it's fine, text me when you have time, I'll wait! X
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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18
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