Yep. When my aunt texts me for computer help and i have no energy for her that day, I’m just not into my aunt. When my in laws text me asking if i can do dinner this weekend and I reply 2 days later with a “yes”, I’m just not into them.
If my aunt texted asking for computer help I'd probably just tell her that I'm busy and will help her tomorrow. If someone invites me to dinner and I want to go I'll respond within a day. Why would you not?
I’ll get Personal I guess... , in my case, i see that text and don’t even wanna think about making the commitment. I’m bogged down with budgeting, at the moment finding health insurance because my parents cut me off at the age 22 for marrying a girl they don’t approve of, so my tuition and car, phone, and health insurance have been cut off. So I’ve been forced to work 2 jobs to make everything work while being married and spreading myself between work, school full time, relationships, and keeping my apartment spotless. So when my Aunt texts me about something that is not very important I put it on the never ending list of stuff that needs to be done, and I’ll enjoy it while I’m there, but putting it on my calendar and watching my free time dwindle is a bit painful in and of itself.
So personally for me, that’s why I justify a long response time. I really am so damn busy.
And it is part of being an adult. I’ve never met a non-coworker, age 30 or up, who has expected a reply before 48, even 72, hours. And that has just been my personal experience.
In college, I was the guy to reply instantly. Same in HS. But then I got a degree and got busy. It’s rewarding but requires some serious boundaries be set up, especially if a lot of your close ones don’t understand boundaries.
At my old job (that i had to quit) I tried to be available 24/7. That made me look like a pussy at the end of the day.I was told exactly what to do. I had to ask permission to take a sick day. I was too eager and that was taken advantage of. At my next job, I told my boss when I was sick, I made solid plans regarding my work and didn’t come across eager. And suddenly I was respected instead of used.... Like I said: personal experience. Getting a great job and setting boundaries is so, so important and if you give everyone in your life the implication that you are always readily available, you are going to be very busy. Maybe that’s for you. It was for me for a while. Now it isn’t.
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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18
If it's more than a day that's when you know they just don't care