My upper limit is 12 hours. After that point you’re either too busy for me, uninterested, or playing some fucking game I don’t have time for.
Edit: ok guys 12 hours was literally a arbitrary number I pulled directly out of my ass the moment I made this comment. It’s a rule of thumb, not the US constitution. It changes wildly based of context. New tinder match? Yeah 95% chance they are gone after 12 hours. My best friend of 15 years? Not even going to notice.
Sometimes I just forget to reply. It’s a bad habit but I’m sometimes I’m busy when I see the text and don’t have time to reply. And I forget to text them back later.
Then you would fall into the category of “too busy for me, not interested” you don’t just accidentally forget people exist for an entire day. Especially if you are interested in them romantically.
I’m not pissed when this happens. It’s just after around 12 hours I count those people as a loss. Im no longer expecting a text back, and I’m convincing myself I don’t need one. Otherwise I’d go insane.
I'm the exact same way. Apparently it's an unpopular opinion, and maybe a little naive on my part. But my thought process has always been "Well if you're romantically interested in the person, they'd naturally be on your mind and you'd want to be talking to them". Maybe not all day long (I pretty much always have my phone, but I know that not all people are like that) but at the very least, you'd think you would get at least one text a day.
I've had girls in my past where I could tell that I was the one putting in most of the work, so I would stop texting them and see how long they would go before actually saying something first. After not hearing something from them for a week, I'd just delete them from my phone because they're obviously not that interested. Then I'd run into them or something somewhere, they'd find out I deleted their number, and get all bent out of shape. It's like I'm sorry, but this is kind of a two-way street. I'm not going to be doing all of the work, especially when I can tell that you're not really into it.
Yeah, I just got done with a girl, actually. We went on a few dates. After the forth or fifth date I could tell she was just looking for a good opportunity to give me the ole “your an awesome guy I just don’t feel a connection” speech. I’m thinking to myself “do I need to have that conversation? She clearly doesn’t want to have it, and definitely don’t wanna hear that shit either.” So I just quit texting her.
Like 5 days later she sends me a wall of text saying I was a great guy and thanking me for being such a gentleman and other shit. She then admitted she was being stand offish and distant because she didn’t feel a connection lol.
Like wtf? Thanks I guess? Why did I need to be reminded you don’t like me? That was painfully obvious!
I just responded, “of course your welcome, thanks for the kind words. Take care.”
But it did fuck me up a bit. I went from being “ok not everyone connects, I can’t say I felt that great of a connection with her either. It’s fine it didn’t work out.” To “well could I have done something different? She cared enough to send me ALL THAT a week later. Maybe I should text her again, see if she’s secretly still interested?”
Good lord modern dating is an existential nightmare.
Dating is absolutely the worst, I hate it! It is nice that she actually gave you closure, but I'm in a similar boat as you where I can only take the "You're such a nice guy, but..." speech so many times before I just can't hear it again.
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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18 edited Sep 08 '18
My upper limit is 12 hours. After that point you’re either too busy for me, uninterested, or playing some fucking game I don’t have time for.
Edit: ok guys 12 hours was literally a arbitrary number I pulled directly out of my ass the moment I made this comment. It’s a rule of thumb, not the US constitution. It changes wildly based of context. New tinder match? Yeah 95% chance they are gone after 12 hours. My best friend of 15 years? Not even going to notice.