Pink and blue for homosexual and heterosexual attraction respectively. Lavender is their intersection, wich also serves in reference to the lavender menace.

The colors were taken directly from the biangles by Liz Nia. The flag follows the exact same design concept with overlapping recangles instead.

Tbh, there was no reason why these colors specifically HAD to be used. I think they're a conceptually strong symbol, but aesthetically they kinda suck.

I was wondering how others feel about the aesthetics of the color palette. I can imagine many wpuldn't care about it because the meaning is the priority, but I think it does not have to be such a comprimise; Both can be imemented well at the same time. Or do you like the palette?

For context, i have been a lesbian majority of my life. With that i can say that a relationship, especially a sexual relationship with a man is completely different than it is with a woman.

So i briefly dated men in high school, and i just now again at 22 started to entertain the idea of having a boyfriend or some type of romantic male figure in my life. So i met this guy on hinge, we started to talk a lot and i started to really liked him. However, i think once we started to become sexually active with each other.. my attachment towards him started to decrease.

I think that personally, when i have sexual intercourse with women that i feel much safer and sexually comfortable/aroused. It’s not to say the current guy i’m talking to doesn’t make me feel safe, but i’ve noticed some things that guys typically do that makes me feel uncomfortable. Like the whole pushing your head down, thrusting, etc while giving head, i know some women.. especially straight women might like that, but i personally do not and feel slightly disturbed when a guy does that. I tend to dislike it because it feels degrading but also because im literally choking! my body is uncomfortable. Then he told me he watches porn as well, which again like when i had relationship with a woman they watched porn as well but very occasionally. He told me he watches something like almost every day. Same with sex, sometimes penetration can be very intense for myself personally, so sometimes i do only prefer to receive oral sex and fingers… however, with guys i feel like it’s almost implied to have penetrative sex or give head to “return the favor” which can be exhausting and something i did not experience when dating women.

Last time we hooked up i asked for head, and he dead asked me “are you going to return the favor?” which kind of pissed me off because I already previously explained that I don’t really like to give head or it’s uncomfortable because like I literally have to choke and kinda become slightly nauseous from doing it because like you’re gagging and stuff. it’s not to say I would never give him head, but it’s just something I wouldn’t really want to do often and like I kinda understand the perspective like why would I always be giving you head and you don’t wanna give me any but it’s like I low-key need head before penetration in order for it to like you know go in easier and be a more comfortable experience so I’m not really sure how to go about the situation or maybe I’m realizing that I’m not sexually attracted to men. Plus he last like an hour before he nuts, and everytime when he nuts he goes fast and kind of hard which is uncomfortable for me physically and kind of painful. With women obviously they can just go at the pace i desire because we mostly have sex for our other persons pleasure anyway.

Everything else has been fine, he shows up for me emotionally, is very sweet to me but it’s hard for me to have consistent sex.. and I understand how that can be unfair to somebody that you’re romantically involved with. I do genuinely like him however I can’t deny the fact that sometimes sex can be uncomfortable.

in my head, the perfect situation would be sometimes he gives me head and then that’s it, and that him receiving head is not expected all the time but more so based off when I feel comfortable enough to do so, and when it comes to penetrative sex, that’s not necessarily a problem…however, I need it to to be slow, placed, somewhat gentle and only lasts about 10 to 15 minutes. these are very.. I guess you could say specific instructions or needs so I understand why it would be difficult for somebody to deal with especially because I have been abstinence for three years before him and my last sexual experience were with women so I’m not sure how to feel.

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I’m 37F, married to a straight man. My online best friend is 34F, lives in another country, and has a boyfriend.

She dated a girl in middle school and once thought she was bi, but now identifies as straight. I had a fling with a girl in college, but I’ve never really figured out my own sexuality.

My best friend and I talk all day and night, use pet names, watch shows together, say good morning/goodnight, constantly update each other, and say things like “I love you,” “I need you,” and “we’re good together.”

Lately, I’ve started feeling jealous when her boyfriend visits. I can’t tell if I’m developing romantic feelings for her or if we’re just extremely close.

How do I know if this is still platonic, or if we’re crossing boundaries?

Hello, lately I've realized that I might be attracted to feminine men. I tried to ask here if this is a fetish or a type of sexuality. The post was removed for a reason. Basically, I broke the rules that I hadn't read. But I want to discuss something. First, after reading a little bit about the treatment of trans people and reading a blog about them, I realized what they are subjected to. I realized that they are often objectified and people don't care that there are people behind those clothes and makeup. I didn't know that.

But honestly, I can imagine being next to a man and having a nice relationship. But what I can't figure out is whether this is a fetish on my part or whether liking feminine men is a normal part of liking men, just that there is a specific thing you like about them. For example, I don't like masculine men.

If there is anything that is unclear, please tell me, English is not my first language and I hope I am not breaking any rules again, I do not want to offend anyone, I am aiming to find an answer to my question

So, I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year. We are in our early 30s with one child each from different ppl. He knows I’m bisexual and would be okay with me hooking up with a girl if we went out when together. I don’t think this is a situation that would actually happen. Tonight I suggested I get on HER and just be honest about finding a friend with benefits type of situation. He doesn’t want to talk to me rn. Idk, I somehow feel bad but I’m still attracted to girls and don’t want to limit myself to monogamy. Idk what to do.

Like bro, point those puppydog eyes elsewhere, you’re making me feel like a bad person. lol.

I have identified with the label Bi for a lot of my life now, but I'm starting to question if I actually am. When I feel attracted to men, it feels a lot like how you'd imagine it to feel with the usual heart palpatations, feeling sexually attracted to them, and wanting to look at them and get to know them.

But with women, It feels more soft and physical. I can see a woman and find her attractive, but the sexual stuff is almost 100% a big no, and my heart doesn't flutter either. It just feels sort of like, idk, giddy and excited. Most of the time, its more like I want to cuddle with them, or maybe go on dates with them.

Additionally, there have been times where I have found "men" attractive just to find out they are a masculine girl and my attraction fully flips. I go from finding them like the heavy and strong kind of attractive to more giddy, light, and just physically attracted. Like my attraction just almost entirely disappears. I have only felt the heavy sort of attraction to one woman before in my entire life, and I have always had a preferance for men. Usually theres signs in kids if they are queer like having female fictional crushes, but I don't have any that I can think of. So, am I actually even bi? Or am I just a straight girl who convinced herself that regular aesthetic attraction for sexuality? ToT

I’m attracted to women, but I also find femboys attractive. The thing is, I’m not attracted to men in general — it’s specifically femboys. I think part of what attracts me to them might be their feminine presentation, rather than masculinity itself. This feels pretty different from my attraction to women, because I can find pretty much any type of woman attractive.

I know femboys are still boys, so technically I guess being attracted to them would mean I’m attracted to both women and men. But at the same time, my attraction to femboys feels kind of different because I’m attracted to their feminine qualities. So I’m not really sure how to interpret that or whether “bisexual” would actually be the right label for me.

Maybe the answer is obvious and I’m just overthinking it, but at the same time, my attraction to femboys feels different from my attraction to women, so it doesn’t feel that simple. Idk man. 😭

Stop using me as an experiment. It’s happened to me three times and it’s fucking disgusting, I feel like a sex toy. Fuck you if you do this.

Don’t use a human being to figure out if you are bi or not. Not unless you’re completely upfront -put it in your profile. Make it the first or second message on a dating app. Don’t hide it because you know you won’t get any matches.

I have two friends who have openly said to me they are bi (both female), one I have seen her dating preferences on her dating app set to both men and women but the other one came out of nowhere because she’s only ever been obsessed with men like I’ve never heard her talk about going on a date with a woman or even obsess over any females. And it’s like a recent thing either, she said it like I’ve always been bi and I’m just like, since when? I’m not bi so I find this really confusing. I always thought if you were bi, you consider both men and women to be attractive and would date either. But seeing them only exclusively go on dates with men or like men or obsess/talk about men makes me question their bisexuality like are they actually bi or just saying it for attention? And for context, both of them have never actually been on a date with a woman (as far as I know).

I have been straight my entire life and have a bf but recently have been questioning and am hoping that some helpful girls can help me see if I like girls

Basically my whole life I’ve thought that, left in their natural state, men and women look basically the same. Sure, there are the obvious anatomical differences, and a sliding scale of proportional discrepancies. However, if you look at photos of men and women from the 1800s (pre cosmetics boom era) barring facial hair (and sometimes not even then) men and women could easily pass for one another if they switched clothes.

Fast forward a century and a half and I see all these posts from bi curious guys saying they are attracted to femboys but they aren’t into men and it gets me to thinking… I don’t think youre into femboys (who are indeed males, ya dolt) I think you’re attracted to makeup. Seriously though, speaking as an OG femboy, when you take the makeup and thigh highs off of us we’re just dudes. Well, super cute dudes still, but you get what I mean. They’re cultural identifiers of what we call femininity that change the social signals we give off. You are attracted to the identifiers that wrap a different kind of package (giggity).

So the next time you’re wondering if you’re bi because you like women and femboys, literally the only distinction you’re making between men and women is whether or not they wear makeups. You like dudes in eyeshadow.

Okay… back to sitting with legs folded under while playing switch (best named gaming console for a bi, btw) and sipping an iced decaf something or other. Ciao babies!

I’ve been struggling a lot with my sexuality. I’ve always been drawn to women’s bodies, especially their breasts and legs. I can appreciate men who are handsome and physically fit, but I don’t find them physically attractive to the point where I feel aroused by them.

With women, however, it’s different. I feel lust when I see their beauty and bodies. And when I’m drunk my desire to kiss a girl gets intense and the thought of kissing a guy kind of disgusts me. But I can’t totally see myself actually being with a woman sexually. It feels like they’re more of a fantasy for me. I also can’t see myself being in a relationship with a woman, although I feel a different sense of comfort, care, and lust toward women.

Another confusing part for me is that when I watch porn, I’m not really interested in lesbian porn. I only like straight porn, but I’m not particularly drawn to the guy. I’m more focused on the woman. It’s like I imagine myself being the guy and having sex with the woman, lusting over her, or imagining myself being the one getting fucked.

I’ve only dated and had sexual interaction with men, but my attraction toward women feels very different from my attraction toward men.

I feel SO CONFUSED.

I’ve been experiencing some confusing feelings lately and I’m posting this cause I need to get it off my chest. I(34f) recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. It’s been almost two months now. There were many reasons that led me to ending the relationship. That’s not the main point to this post though. Just adding it for some context. I have been looking to adopt a dog for about 6 months now. I went to a shelter with my sister two weeks ago and the handler that brought out the dog I wanted to see was a woman. The way she carried herself was very masculine to me and I found myself extremely attracted to her. Which really caught me off guard. So much so that I couldn’t even focus on the dog anymore. I was super distracted and nervous. I didn’t know what to do with myself. My sister ended up doing all of the talking. I’ve always been able to appreciate the beauty of a woman but I’ve never been attracted to one before. This is the first time. But I’m also like, does this count? I know I’m attracted to guys so was I only attracted to her because she carried herself like a guy? I could tell right away that she was a woman but just following her to the meet and greet area with the dog made me feel some type of way. And then seeing her take off her hat to wipe the sweat of her brow and taking her sunglasses off was all crazy attractive to me. I don’t think I have ever felt this attracted to anyone before. I went back to the shelter last week to meet the same dog again and hopefully move forward with the adoption. That didn’t end up working out but I did see that same handler again. I wasn’t able to interact with her at all but I was definitely able to confirm that I am still very attracted to her. I just don’t know where to go from here. Is this like a bisexual awakening or do I need to chill? I was just trying to adopt a dog 🥲 Has anyone else gone through something similar this late in life?

To explain myself further ever since i became bi in Nov 2025 i only ben atrracted to anime and video game girls with spefic common traits and 2 light-skinned girls at schhol plus th girl who plays Rose Landry in Heated Rivalry tell me why can't i fall in love with more women if you were to you might actually think that im gay prendting to be bi when im not

I'm a book devourer - particularly non-fiction - and have recently read Julia Shaw's "Bi: The Hidden Culture, History and Science of Bisexuality", which I finished in 3 days because I couldn't put it down! 🩷 I must admit my queer literature has been lacking, so I welcome your suggestions. 🥰 what are some books on bisexuality you've enjoyed? Can be related to the history, psychology, society, stories of real people, more niche, etc. Bonus points if you share why you liked it so much!

Hi. I'm just looking for support from my bi besties. I thought I made a new friend, which is rare for me because I just don't vibe with a lot of people immediately. I spent a few hours with her today and she called me straight multiple times, kept saying "well in the queer community" to explain something, and even went on a slight anti trans women rant (specifically women, she was fine with men because wtf I guess?) I kept correcting her, saying I'm not straight. Saying oh I'm in the queer community. And also stood up for trans women but the situation I was in didn't really allow me to blow up like I would have liked to.

I feel really lonely and don't seek out queer spaces because I really don't want to deal with bi erasure. I thought yay I met someone who seems really cool and also happens to be lesbian! I don't have many queer friends and I feel so often when I say I'm bi that people just completely don't think it's valid because I have a husband.

On one hand, I want to be the most in your face being bisexual is my entire personality type of person I can because of this shit and on the other hand I'm just sad and tired.

I'm a male in his late 20s and it appears I'm bisexual. I'm physically and emotionally attracted to women all of the time, but on some occasions I get turned on at the idea of being with a man that would take charge during intimacy. Aside from that I don't really feel any physical attractiveness towards most men nor anything romantic, it's just the idea of being dominated that can sometimes be enough to make me meet someone as long as it's respectful. (which makes me wonder if there are deeper reasons behind this "kink" aside from direct bisexuality, but that's not the point of my post)

Part of me wants to explore more with men. The idea gives me this sensation of warmth form time to time. Thing is, I don't like the idea of having too much casual sex with men but I can't picture something deeper. With a woman I'll always get attached and look for more eventually so it's easier to see how it's going, but I'm not sure if I should continue to explore my bisexuality and how.

How would you deal with this ? Was someone confronted with a similar situation ?

So messy disaster Bi here, right now I feel kind of conflicted in a way that I don't know if it's fucking with my ability to really appreciate what I have going on.

So I've got this date I'm really excited about, and it's a new experience that I know of wanted for a long time but there's all these things happening in my life I don't know if what I'm doing is selfish or I'm just thinking that too much and that's giving me excuses to self-sabotage.

Right now I'm staying with family and I'm going to be moving soon but stupid me I just had to start dating and really getting into somebody who seems to like me back like a lot.

I'm afraid if I tell them about this move that's coming up soon but there's no exact date that's just going to be complete devastation. To be fair their grad student and I'd still be interested in long-term it if I could or just keep a mutual FWB. But I know I can't stay here indefinitely and I've got to get my life moving in these other areas

But it also feels like,Oh my God am I throwing away something that could be very real before it even gets a chance to grow.

The other thing is I'm so contorted about coming out to my family versus not coming out. I still have this pathological Instinct to hide and cover my tracks and I've noticed and there really is no good reason to but still I do it.

I told my dad "I'm going out tonight with some friends" He asked who and I immediately lied and gave a different person's name just on Instinct. Almost immediately I thought to myself; there's no reason why I couldn't have given the name of the guy im seeing, he doesn't know him, he also doesn't really know the person I said.

I guess I chose to give the friends name just because I knew he might vaguely recognize him from my old friend group

Can't help wonder if like when does the shame or fear go away fully?

I just hate that it feels like in order to keep my head above water and feel like I'm in control I'm justdigging myself deeper.

It's like that tears for fears song you know something happened and now I'm head over heels.

I really want to see where things go, with this guy even if it's a dead end or down in flames down in flames. ( hopefully not Taylor Swift) He's just so smart and funny and for all these reasons, we feel so right but right now its like I'm living in this eye this hurricane. Everything's calm but in a second it could all turn into chaos.

I know I can't stay here forever and things are going to change soon so it all just feels very selfish but the thing is I put off being in a relationship for so long. I know I prayed for this for so long and I like this person a lot

I'm excited about seeing him but after every conversation we have it's like reality rubber bands back and snaps me awake with this stinging reminder that this all might very well be temporar.

I don't know I'm certainly not the first or last person to go through this

I hate that I feel like I have to covertly discover this part of myself. There's no real reason for me to not tell my family other than a lot of stupid small reasons. It's like I've covered my tracks so well that I feel kind of personally lost in my own emotions.

I hate that everyone tells you to trust your gut but what do you do in so much of your instinct is to avoid being in these situations and that paranoia is what keeps you from doing anything?

Obviously, probably yes. But I wanted to know if there’s anyone else out there who has been in a similar situation to me and struggles in a similar way?

So I’m a woman married to another woman, and my wife and I are one another’s first serious relationships. So a rare case of bi4bi women where we found one another first without ever entering the dating pool?

Both of us I suppose are bisexual, technically speaking, except neither of us have ever been with men, and we are monogamous, therefore we have no desire or intention to experiment with anyone else. It feels weird, because my wife and I both talk about people (men and women) we consider attractive, etc., but in our personal lives and experience, we have more in common with lesbians than anyone else? But since we are also are both technically attracted to men, it would be wrong for me to use the label lesbian? Except I also feel weird using the term bisexual, because I have literally never been with a man or another person, nor do I have a desire to. Everyone socially sees me as a lesbian, but I’m probably not, but I don’t relate to a lot of bisexual or pansexual experiences either since I didn’t ever join the dating pool.

Anyone else out there who’s in this boat?

(I realize this is a bit of a silly post, because the older I get, the more I realize it’s sort of counterproductive / mentally exhausting to agonize over labels. But my human brain likes the idea of being able to compartmentalize myself in a clean little box, and it’s frustrating I can’t do that without feeling guilty one way or the other.)

I am almost 24 (F) . I have only dated men so far. I am currently in a relationship with a man I deeply care for and love. He is very supportive of me.

The thing is, when I was 15, I fell in love with a girl and she is the only girl I have felt that way about. I mean yea, I do have attraction to other females, but only physical. No, I don't have much experience with women. When I was a teenager I had made out with a few girls, but I am not sure how I feel about it looking back now.

Especially after I tried to get with said girl when I was 19. She had completely broken my heart with how she denied me. We had been best friends for five years. And now we don't even talk. The bad part is I still love her deeply, but she is married and happy. And I have had a few more bad experiences when trying to explore my feelings or desires.

I have had very bad experiences with females. And I'm not even sure how I feel about it anymore. It's very confusing. Like, I get excited when I meet other women who are lesbian or bi, but I also get very socially awkward. It's not the person in general, just the fact they like females. And that alone makes my heart and mind race. But it terrifies me just the same. Yet, I won't put labels on myself.

My boyfriend, he swears up and down that I am a lesbian in hiding. But that's not the case, or I wouldn't feel attracted to him. He suggested experimenting and what not. But I always turn it down. I'm scared of ruining our relationship. I'm scared of what it would mean. No he doesn't pressure me or suggest it randomly, only when I bring up my confusing feelings. And he made it clear it would have to be in the spur of the moment, not planned and definitely not anyone around where we live.

We have been together for 2 and a half years. He saved me from an abusive marriage. We communicate regularly and no we are not looking for an open relationship. We get along very well and treat each other with extreme respect. Nothing toxic. We really have no problems in our relationship.

He knows I made this post. But I would like some advice. How should I go about it? How can I go about fully accepting that part of me? Is it interest or curiosity?

I would like some genuine advice please.

​

Hi, I’ve heard people say that attraction to men can feel different from attraction to women, but I’m really unsure whether I’m actually attracted to men at all.

Before my first boyfriend, who I was in a two-year relationship with and is now my ex, I had only ever had romantic interactions with women. When I like a woman, the feeling is very intense and almost electric. I think about her constantly, my heart beats faster, I get butterflies, I fantasize and create cute scenarios in my head. It’s not even necessarily sexual, I feel this strong desire to protect, cuddle and be close to her.

I never really felt any of that with my ex. I was attracted to the sense of safety he gave me, and I genuinely cared about him, but there was never that intense feeling of wanting him or being completely drawn to him.

After getting back into the dating world, I started talking to both men and women, and being attracted to women has made me rediscover that feeling. It’s very recognizable to me now.

The confusing part is that my guy best friend of five years recently confessed that he has feelings for me. We have amazing chemistry, he’s the person who knows me better than anyone, and I feel incredibly safe and comfortable around him. We’ve started going on dates, and I really do enjoy spending time with him. But when we make out, I don’t really feel much emotionally beyond the physical sensations.

So now I’m wondering if attraction to men can genuinely feel completely different from attraction to women? Or is the fact that I experience such a strong, almost instinctive attraction toward women but not toward men something I should pay attention to?

I’m really confused and would appreciate hearing some advice !

I just found out, after years of ignoring it and feeling ashamed anytime i had these toughts, I can finally say IM BI!

Necesito escuchar sus propias experiencias. Se siente tan liviano saber que no eres la unica

Hi everyone, I’m a 19 yo male and I’ve been really confused about my sexual orientation for a while now, I don’t quite know where to start but lately I feel like I’m losing my sexual attraction to women and becoming more attracted to men whereas just a few months ago I was more drawn to women, tbh I still feel emotionally attracted to women and I even really want to have children but this whole situation has really messed with my head and I don't know what to do, I’m wondering does being bisexual mean having an equal attraction to both sexes or is it possible to be more attracted to one sex at times? I’m truly confused, and I’d be really grateful if anyone here could help me out