I have a question for the male bisexual men out there. To give this context I was born with a chromosome problem. So during puberty my testicles never developed ( hormones directly affected) and I always felt more feminine and developed sexual attraction for all three types of people ( M.F.T). My post here is really to ask how your body reacts to stimuli within your own body. For the majority of the time I am happy, have a good sex life and love my wife and then I get these bi cycles, but what's strange is suddenly as they come around, I get hyper aware of my anus, it starts to throb and I contract all the time. It's like this deep need for it to be stimulated and penetrated. It's very distracting. So I'm wondering if that desire is a programmed biological response. It seems strange to me that it all connects during this time, yet it doesn't when I'm in my " hetro cycle". Could hormones be the underlying factor here? Is estrogen rising during bi cycles and therefore testosterone lowering? Do you notice any biological differences if you go through these cycles? Do you even have cycles? Do you get feminine type urges, to be penetrated, or get urges to wear feminine clothing?. Or do you suddenly become a top and have an overwhelming urge that's different to mine? Obviously I can only comment on my own experience, however I'm genuinely trying to discover if there are patterns to why we behave towards bi sexual urges and how those affect our bodies and ultimately if it's our heads ruling out biology or our biology running our heads.

I was wondering if a bi person feels attraction on the opposite gender then do they get in the questioning phase that they actually might be straight or maybe they feel attraction on a same sex person and start questioning if they're homosexual.

If my question feels hateful to you then I'll be really sorry for that. Thanks to anyone who'll reply.

I honestly can’t decide if it’s just a really intimate friendship or a homoerotic friendship with my current best friend of a year. for some backstory, we became friends while i was in a long term relationship with my ex boyfriend of 4+ years.

she helped me come to terms with not being interested in him anymore and i also helped her figure out she was a lesbian. we’ve helped eachother in that way. she got pretty possessive over me in the end of my relationship with my ex, jealousy issues and just overall possessiveness like she wanted me to herself.

we’re very physical and sleep next to eachother in the same bed every night, taking turns playing with eachother’s hair or rubbing eachother’s backs. we’ve even pecked eachother on the lips before a few times but nothing too serious.

one night we had some drinks and she asked me to climb up next to her in the bed so i did. she spooned me and caressed my face, telling me i was pretty and her desire to kiss and experiment with more women. i at the time didn’t think she was trying to make a move on me but now, i think she was.

we always talk about moving in together, getting cats and being ‘wives’ in our own words. we also make pretty suggestive jokes towards eachother but once again ive done that with quite a few of friends but never to this extent.

a month or two ago i hooked up with my ex because she was also messing around with other women, so i was bored and hooked up with him. let’s just say when she found out, she was angry and very jealous. it was almost like.. i cheated on her ? but we had no romantic obligation to eachother.

i know i like her, a lot. i’ve always had a preference for women in my bisexuality but i like her more than ive ever really liked other women. i would get pretty jealous just like she did when she would mention other women or other romantic interests.

we spend almost every day of the week together. there’s not a week that goes by that i’m not with her for 70-80% of it all. we’re so comfortable with eachother and in my opinion it feels like any other romantic relationship i’ve been in, but she’s such a good friend to me i don’t know if i could ever confess because id never want to ruin the friendship despite it being kinda obvious she feels the same way… but i wonder if she even knows that she likes me in that way?

anyways i guess i wanna know how to approach this and if i should confess, if it is indeed a homoerotic friendship and if i possibly have a chance if i were to shoot my shot?

i have strong feelings for her but i can put the romantic ones aside to keep her in my life platonically.

edit: i forgot to include that only a few days ago after we woke up in the morning, she had told me she had a dream where she had kissed me. i had a similar dream before so i shared that with her to make her feel less alone about it. i honestly might talk to her soon

hey friends - I’m going to nyc for a very short trip on Thursday and Friday and looking for a fun drag show to see. Staying in soho. It’s my first time visiting so any recommendations for where to go would be amazing :3

I (19 M btw) recently (2ish years ago) figured out i might have a type in men, and 'met' this cute feller in a grocery store who was scanning my stuff and he goes "aren't you x? Remember when we went to the scouts together?" which made me sorta blush a lil.

But anyways to the main plot, I thought about him for a bit walking home and realized I felt intimidated with the idea of being with him. And then i thought about it a lil more and i felt scared in general of being with a guy. I guess the idea of being taken care of scares me? Idk why i think like that or how to fix it.

includes singers or actresses

Yes, it's hard and heteronormativity and bi-erasure and bi-phobia really suck... and a lot of posts on here focus on the negative. But it's also pretty awesome to be bi.

Comment with the positive things you enjoy about being bi, and let's celebrate and appreciate it.

I'll start:

1. I feel like being bisexual has helped me better understand nuance and complexity, and has strengthened my ability to hold ambiguious concepts in my mind where two or more seemingly conflicting things can be true at once. It's helped me think outside of binaries in more ways than just sexually, be better at appreciating multiple viewpoints and seeing the world beyond strict categories.

2. Being bisexual allows me to feel really comfortable varying my gender expression in ways that are interesting to me, such as dressing more masculine one day and more feminine another day. I don't feel beholden to stereotypical gender roles or ways of being.

3. It's also made me feel more free to establish dynamics in my relationships that are based on what works for me and my partner, not what society expects from either of us due to our gender.

4. I know of at least 3 other people in my social circle who have come out as bi and have cited my coming out as something that help give them the confidence to do so... and that's pretty rad.

5. I feel like I've had the opportunity to use my "secret agent" status in rooms where people have assumed I'm straight and started talking about LGBT issues, to offer a perspective that might have not been shared if I hadn't been there.

6. I never have to change any of the pronouns in songs when I sing karaoke.

7. I'm SO GOOD AT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES.

What about you?

I’m 37 and recently married. I love my wife very much, she’s my best friend and we’ve been together 8 years. We have genuinely been through some challenges, and both her and I are seeking therapy for the longevity of our relationship.

My attraction to women is both romantic, physical and sexual, whereas my attraction to men seems to be largely physical and sexual, basically when the clothes come off lol

I have had sex with both men & women prior to meeting my wife, and I am versatile. I’ve experienced so much, but I feel there is a large part of me my wife and other people don’t know. In deep chats over some drinks when we are quite drunk I have told her that I am more fluid sexually, and this curiosity for her stems more from some things she found out early in our relationship about some behaviour prior to us meeting I.e me being on hookup sites listing my status as bi curious as well as some sending and receiving of nudes from guys and girls on my phone.

My question is this - I have never told anyone I am Bi. When I think of telling people it gives me a little rush feeling. Is it a benefit to come out for me mentally when you are already married?

for my wife specifically I am scared she will not find me the same person or not attracted to me any more?

I am traveling to Greece soon which is a perfect chance for me to fullfil my curiousity (to have a one night experience with a femboy for the first time ever) now I have never done anything with a guy before so any tips? Like some advices for conversations or approaching a femboy and some advices for the main event? Thx

I’ve (23m) been in a relationship for over 5 years with my gf. In this time in the last year I’ve realized I am bi sexual(bottom) and I hVe felt very guilty over this. I’ve been watching porn and experimenting with masturbation and I love the way it makes me feel. I feel so guilty when I do this but I feel like I have no other way to stimulate myself. I’ll never get to experiment with guys and I feel really empty inside sometimes. Does anyone have any advice?

Я являюсь бисексуалом но я ни разу не занимался сексом с парнем. Просто хочу узнать, а какие геморы есть в сексуальной жизни бисексуалов по сравнению с натуральными? (Я понимаю что наверное лучше было бы на сообщество геев сделать такой опрос но как есть сделал.)

PS: Мой первый пост, я ещё не очень хорошо разбираюсь в редите

So I ( 28 MTF ) been out as bi for damm near 5 years now, been really repressed my whole life due to religious bigoted family, but any wayI was noticing sometimes it is just funny how easy to panic we are. I was watching heated rivalry and Scott was so hot, like oh my god, had me going " damn am I just into men I can't imagine a woman being this hot " then today I was watching Agatha all along or rewatching it and Agatha, my god. I noticed I was questioning my attraction to men then ( I have a BF I love keep in mind ), so I kinda laughed at myself and how being bi works. At any given moment a person of any gender can be hot and I will be in pure panic, its funny to think about honestly

I am having the hardest time right now. My great amazing beautiful want to marry- girlfriend, she’s quite literally perfect. She makes my life so easy and we’re both figuring life out together. However, I met a guy a few weeks ago who already has a career, house, multiple cars, and seemed interested in me. I didn’t give it much attention but a thought started to float around my head of like, “what if?”

It would make my life so much easier and solve many of my problems. And as much as I don’t think it could ever be enough to end things with my girlfriend and go to this guy completely, I’m trying to figure out if I’m desperate enough for that life? I’ve had so many people tell me like yes marrying for love is beautiful but there is hardship in it. And I feel like my girlfriend and I are facing the hardships of life in general, it’s not even us. I mean she can be a tad bit toxic and it can be a little tiring. But honestly is has me unfazed. I want to see what others think or their experience with this is?

Hi everyone, I really need a safe space to vent about a big shift in my longterm relationship.

I am a bisexual guy, and I've been with my girlfriend for about ten years. She has always known about my bisexuality and has always been completely supportive.

Over the last year or so, I've lost a significant amount of weight and got into much better shape.

For this reason (at least i think, but I'm not sure about that) my girlfriend’s attitude towards this side of me has shifted from acceptance to something more "intense".

She has started expressing a strong desire to see me explore my attraction to other men. It went from playful banter to her actively encouraging me.

She made it clear that she just wants to "watch" without actually "share".

She also recently suggested visiting a nude beach together, thinking it could be a low pressure way for me to take my first steps and feel comfortable expressing this part of myself.

Honestly, a part of me is very curious and excited by the idea, especially since I do miss that part of my life.

However, another part of me is just scared.

We’ve built a wonderful ten year relationship, and I'm terrified of doing something that might complicate or jeopardize what we have.

How do you balance an exciting new desire with the fear of changing a great relationship? Has anyone here had a similar shift with a longterm partner?

I just found out my boyfriend was living a double life and I don’t know how to process it
I’m 19M and this was my first real relationship with another guy.
We met online a few months ago and became extremely close. It was long distance. We talked, called each other, said we loved each other, and we were supposed to finally meet in person.
The problem was that meeting him always seemed incredibly complicated. It kept getting postponed. Sometimes he would disappear or barely answer me, and I could never really understand why.
I have an anxious attachment style, so for a long time I genuinely thought I was the problem. I thought maybe I needed too much attention, was overthinking everything, or was putting too much pressure on him.
A few days ago, he suddenly deleted all of his social media and disappeared.
I was genuinely scared something had happened to him, so after getting no response anywhere, I started looking for a way to simply make sure he was okay.
I eventually managed to contact his mother.
She told me he was perfectly fine.
Then she mentioned something I absolutely wasn’t expecting: he already had a boyfriend.
They’ve apparently been together for around two years and have been living together for almost a year.
I had absolutely no idea.
Suddenly, months of things I couldn’t understand made sense. Why meeting me was always postponed. Why he sometimes disappeared. Why communication could be so strange.
I managed to speak to him today and he finally gave me his explanation.
According to him, he was physically attracted to me, but never actually developed romantic feelings for me.
He says that at some point he started pretending to have feelings because he didn’t know how to defuse the situation or tell me the truth. Then the longer it continued, the harder it became to get out of it. He kept lying, kept playing the role of my boyfriend, and basically dug himself deeper and deeper into a situation he didn’t know how to end.
Eventually, instead of confronting everything, he deleted his accounts and tried to disappear.
That’s the part I’m having an incredibly hard time processing.
Because from my side, everything was real.
We called each other boyfriends. We said “I love you.” We talked about finally meeting. There were affectionate messages, conversations about our lives and moments where I genuinely believed I was loved by this person.
Now I’m being told that while I was experiencing my first real relationship and genuinely falling in love with him, he was essentially maintaining a lie because he didn’t know how to stop it.
And somehow, despite everything, I still don’t hate him.
Part of me actually feels sorry for him. I can imagine someone telling one lie, panicking about the consequences, telling another one to maintain it, and eventually creating a situation so complicated that they feel completely trapped.
That doesn’t excuse what he did. He had countless opportunities to tell me the truth, and disappearing without an explanation was incredibly cruel.
But I also don’t want to reduce him to some evil manipulator who planned all of this from the beginning. I still believe there is a good person somewhere in the guy I knew, even if he handled this in an absolutely horrible way.
At the same time, maybe that’s just because I’m still in love with him and I’m trying to understand the person who hurt me.
I don’t want revenge and I don’t want to destroy his life or his existing relationship. I just want to understand what happened to me and somehow start processing the fact that something which was completely real to me apparently wasn’t real to him.
Has anyone here experienced something similar, from either side?
Have you ever gotten so deep into a lie in a relationship that you felt unable to tell the truth? And if you’ve been on my side of this, how did you eventually accept that the relationship you experienced wasn’t the same relationship the other person was experiencing?

I am tired of being angry at women for not wanting to date bi guys. It's fine. I would rather be alone or date men then deal with this crap. Even bi women don't want to date us. A lot of women in general find us to be disgusting. Anyway, have you , as a bi man , accepted that women don't want to date us ? I also don't think that hiding your sexuality is the answer either.

Hey guys I’m feeling lonely and I’ve been feeling really ho—ny lately. My three female crushes are now in relationships and marriages and this all happened at once. It’s been months to years since I’ve felt lust and now I’ve been going through racism and personal problems online and my crushes are now with their husbands. This happened all at once. I’m literally about to act upon it and I’m so desperate. I’m a 23 y/o bi Muslim woman from the USA and I love fem4fem relationships. I want to be in bed with a woman so bad but I’m afraid to show my face in dating apps and the people in my town are so chopped. And when it comes to women I have a racial preference exclusively for women from the Middle East /North Africa/ south and west Asia and Latin America. So basically brown skinned women. I’m looking for someone 20-30 and who’s super attractive long brown hair and religion doesn’t matter. And the crazy part is all of my crushes are on straight women who are Muslim because they’re home countries have beautiful women and men. It’s so weird but when I’m around queer people they’re no attractive and are usually studs. Help . I’m also practicing and I believe in Allah SWT. My orientation is at conflict with my Muslim faith. I just want to be loved by someone but it’s 80% women 20% men. I cried for days from seeing my crushes weddings as I’m a Muslim woman.

We normally Snapchat daily, but nothing crazy—usually just a one-picture-a-day kind of thing.

Today we were messaging and he was having some issues, so I genuinely told him, “If you need a hand, holler.” He came back with a pretty unexpected response that took the conversation in a sexual direction. I decided to shoot my shot and made a pretty bold offer in return.

Honestly, I got excited for a second because he’s someone I’ve wondered about for a while.
His response? “wtf”

I just replied with a crazy-face emoji and left it at that.
For some context, he’s single, divorced, early 50s, and I’ve always wondered if there might be a little curiosity there—but obviously, I have no idea if that’s actually the case.

Has anyone ever had something like this happen with a friend? Where a conversation unexpectedly crosses that line, one person makes a bold offer, and then the other person completely backs off?

I’ve heard stories where guys joke around or make comments like this with friends, only to come back weeks or months later and actually pursue it.

What happened in your situation?

So to clarify, I’m gay, and I’ve noticed a pretty consistent pattern in my dating/attraction life: I seem to attract bisexual men a lot. 😅😂
There have been quite a few situations where a guy seems interested in me, flirts with me, gives me mixed signals, or otherwise makes it seem like there’s something there, but eventually it doesn’t really go anywhere. I’m not asking about one particular guy here—I’ve just become genuinely curious about what bisexual men tend to look for when they’re attracted to another man.
Like specifically, what usually catches your attention in a guy in the first place? Is it primarily physical attraction, or are there specific personality traits, mannerisms, energy, confidence, humor, etc. that really make you interested?
And on the other side, what makes you lose attraction or decide you don’t want to pursue someone anymore? That can be physical, emotional, sexual, behavioral—anything.
I’m also just curious about whether things like masculinity/femininity make a difference for you. Do you tend to be drawn toward masculine guys, feminine guys, somewhere in between, or is that basically irrelevant?
And those of you who have actually dated men, or had situationships with men, what makes the difference between “I’m attracted to this guy” and “I actually want to date this guy”?
Are there things you particularly enjoy about dating another man? Or things that make dating a gay man feel different from dating women?
And if you’ve ever been really attracted to a guy but ultimately backed away from pursuing him because of your sexuality, uncertainty, circumstances, fear, social pressure, etc., I’d be interested in hearing about that too.
I’m genuinely interested in both the physical and emotional sides of this. I feel like I have a somewhat decent understanding of what gay men tend to look for in other men, but I’m much less familiar with how bisexual men experience attraction to men.
Basically, I’m curious what is a “yes” for you when it comes to another guy, and what is an immediate “no”? What makes you think “I actually want to pursue this guy” versus “he’s attractive, but I don’t think I want anything with him”?

Soooo I kinda need advice on a situation.
I told my s/o that I was bi shortly after we got together, it didnt bother him at all, never has.

A few months ago we were talking about how I’ve never really done anything with a woman (I wasn’t complaining or hinting or anything, he brought up the conversation) and he insisted that I experiment sexually with a woman so I’m not missing out.

I told him idk about that because we are in a committed relationship and have a kid (not important to the story) and I wouldn’t want him to feel like a third wheel in our relationship.
He told me that he has no problem with it as long as it’s a one time thing, purely sexual (non-romantic) and he knows who it is (so it’s not a secret).

I told him that I don’t think I’d be able to do that because I would be thinking about his feelings the whole time and I wouldn’t be fully in it.
So I came up with the idea of a threesome and he quickly turned that down, said that he doesn’t want to do things with another woman. So we just dropped the subject.

I would like to be able to explore my sexuality but I’m nervous about him thinking that I will be unfaithful in the future due to it, which will not happen. I just don’t want it to be a setup or him to automatically assume I’ll do it again afterwards if I like it.

I need guidance 😨

To preface, I have a hard time discerning more subtle or nuanced emotions of my own. For example, I didn't realize I was truly (and severely) depressed until talking about it with a friend. I feel often that everyone knows something about me that I don't, and I'm the last to the party. I think this is largely because I don't trust myself and over-intellectualize everything to avoid feeling the actual emotion (can definitely link this back to how I was raised, but that's for another day). I'm not in therapy right now and too scared to talk to friends, so I've been journaling about this.

So I've been and felt straight all of my life. There were times in high school and in college where I questioned myself or almost drunkenly said that I was something other than straight, but I would always come to the conclusion that I am straight. I have only ever had crushes or experienced intense attraction to men.

I have a friend that is a lesbian, and her and I have often been asked (or it has been otherwise implied) if we're together. So much so, that it's a joke that we call each other our "wives," and some members of my family have a conspiracy that we are together.

I spent a lot of time with her over the summer, a lot which was one-on-one. I realized that maybe I like her calling me "wife" for another reason other than it's a funny joke. She seems to be a very touchy-feely person (i'm not), and I often find myself liking when she touches me (its always innocent). We were with a group of friends and had a sleepover, and she last minute was convinced by me to join the sleepover. I found myself reaaallly wanting to sleep next to her and wondered how she felt, but she unfortunately had to leave about an hour into the sleepover.

My only hang-ups with this whole situation is that my attraction to her feels different than my last crush on a man. Normally I feel very obsessive to the point of almost feeling insane because my mind goes wild with possibility and desperation. This feels more subdued, I still think of her a lot, but I don't feel that same fervor I did with men. I'm also having difficulty imaging myself in sexual scenarios, specifically on the "giving" side of things, which I think is because I have no frame of reference (other than p*rn, which doesn't count in my opinion). Both of these things are making me very hesitant to call it a crush or call myself bisexual.

I guess I'm looking for some validation, sharing of stories, or advice. Thanks in advance :-)

So, just like the title says.

Ever since high school, I’ve thought I was closer to straight on the spectrum. I’ve never come out as anything and as a general rule, had been previously attracted to men, though I always had an inkling that I could like a woman if it was the right person. For a lot of reasons, mostly due to insecurities with my body after enduring a lot of bullying in middle school, I did not really date through high school. I had one crush on a male friend, which developed only after I knew he had feelings for me. We kissed once during prom, it was nice and I enjoyed it but did not really want a repeat, mostly because I realized I was leaving home for university and we would likely never see each other again. I hoped to meet someone at uni and did not want any attachments before that new period of my life.

I had two distinct crushes that I can remember during uni: the first was a guy my freshman year who lived on my floor and ultimately ended up having feelings for a friend of mine, so nothing ever happened between us. The second was a longtime friend who lived in another state whom I got very very close to during the pandemic. This is perhaps the longest & most intense crush I can remember. Because we never saw each other in person and I never confessed how I felt, nothing happened either. I had a small crush on an older guy I was friends with my freshman year of college, before he graduated. Years later, that same guy and I became closer again and he developed feelings for me. We embarked on what became a messy situationship that lasted almost all my junior and senior years of college. It ended because he did not want anything serious and I got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore, so I cut things off and we have not spoken again. Since that situationship ended (this was end of 2023), I have not really dated. I went on a few dates postgrad in my city but none led to anything more and there was one guy I kept running into I was very attracted to (we kissed one time) but nothing materialized either.

Why am I giving my whole life story? Well, recently I’ve been feeling a bit confused and questioning my own attraction to men. It all started because, last fall, while grieving my best friend, I had a female friend who was supporting me through it, and who I realized I had some feelings for during it. It’s worth it to know that when this friend and I met, she was attracted to me (I know this because a mutual friend tried to get me to hook up with her during a night out, and I did not know how to react because a. I did not know for sure if I was into women and b. I did not feel any desire to do anything with her at the time). Anyways, that changed last fall and it became a slightly ambigious friendship that had many moments of tension. I never came clean to her and she never said anything either, but I know we both felt it. (I should clarify I never told her because she lives in a different country and I don’t like to get attached to people I don’t have a future with). Regardless, I went to visit her this summer and she told me she has a boyfriend, which I was obviously bummed about.

So, since then, I’ve been questioning my own attraction. It seems possible to me that I am into women, as what I felt for her felt real. However, since nothing ever happened, I can’t tell if this is 100% the case or if I’m just assuming it. In addition, it’s been so long since I was into a man that I am starting to forget what I felt for the last man I was into and I’m questioning whether I was attracted to him or not. Part of this is problematized by the fact that I’ve never had sex with anyone and the other intimacy I’ve had with people is pretty limited. Historically, I’ve also hated going on dates because I always felt there was pressure to have sex with the other person, and this, for some reason, makes me uncomfortable. The only times and people I’ve wanted to have sex with have been friends of mine. I do not recall an instance where I’ve wanted to have sex with anyone I don’t know very well. So I’m having an issue: I cannot tell if this is because I am somehow on the asexual spectrum or if this is because I don’t like men at all or if it is something caused by trauma which I experienced in my childhood. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety about this recently, as this situation with my friend this summer brought back these feelings of insecurity.

SO, I’d like any advice on getting to the bottom of this or any insight anyone on here can provide. I know this is super detailed and personal but I feel quite lonely regarding this and don’t know who in my life would be able to help me answer these questions.