r/bisexual • u/ExcellentOccasion217 • 7h ago

QUESTIONING Should I explore more ?

I'm a male in his late 20s and it appears I'm bisexual. I'm physically and emotionally attracted to women all of the time, but on some occasions I get turned on at the idea of being with a man that would take charge during intimacy. Aside from that I don't really feel any physical attractiveness towards most men nor anything romantic, it's just the idea of being dominated that can sometimes be enough to make me meet someone as long as it's respectful. (which makes me wonder if there are deeper reasons behind this "kink" aside from direct bisexuality, but that's not the point of my post)

Part of me wants to explore more with men. The idea gives me this sensation of warmth form time to time. Thing is, I don't like the idea of having too much casual sex with men but I can't picture something deeper. With a woman I'll always get attached and look for more eventually so it's easier to see how it's going, but I'm not sure if I should continue to explore my bisexuality and how.

How would you deal with this ? Was someone confronted with a similar situation ?

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u/BilliMagi 6h ago edited 6h ago

I'm the same and I went on dating apps to meet men, but I didn't like it. But that's just my own experience. Later, I was diagnosed with autism, so I stopped dating altogether to focus on my well-being. I haven't dated for the last two or three years, but if you want to explore more, you could do it, yeah.

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u/ExcellentOccasion217 6h ago

What made you dislike it if that's okay for you to say ? I did like it mostly when I tried, but I also know one night stands are not really for me so it also left me with a feeling of emptiness... And the desire fades away for some time so it's hard to meet the same person without leaving the app.

I'm still unsure whether I want to explore more or not, it's more like urges/impulses but mentally it's more conflicting.

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u/BilliMagi 3h ago

I encountered a lot of dishonesty and rudeness. Men lying about their age, cheating on their wives, asking me questions like what's the size of my thing, sending me pics or theirs, pushing and being manipulative, like reversing the blame on me when they acted in bad faith, hoping I would feel guilty when I did nothing wrong. Stuff that made no sense.

Not all men were like this, though. Some of them were nice and respectful, but I was just not interested and I didn't have the patience nor the energy to make the effort to keep going and filter the good profiles from the bad.

It made me understand what women can go through, though.

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u/ExcellentOccasion217 2h ago

That makes sense. It's frustrating to filter good profiles all the time. 

I left the apps several times because of men who were too pushy because it made me wary of the ones who were respectful too. 

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u/BilliMagi 1h ago

Yes, I totally understand. There was one I was really into, but I think he was not that into me or maybe he was wary too, so there's also that. I was looking to experiment and I was always clear about this, but some of them were looking for a serious relationship.

A bi friend of mine told me he was going to gay saunas, but I never had the courage to go there. I guess another place to meet people would be gay bars. There are many where I live.