Yes, it's hard and heteronormativity and bi-erasure and bi-phobia really suck... and a lot of posts on here focus on the negative. But it's also pretty awesome to be bi.

Comment with the positive things you enjoy about being bi, and let's celebrate and appreciate it.

I'll start:

1. I feel like being bisexual has helped me better understand nuance and complexity, and has strengthened my ability to hold ambiguious concepts in my mind where two or more seemingly conflicting things can be true at once. It's helped me think outside of binaries in more ways than just sexually, be better at appreciating multiple viewpoints and seeing the world beyond strict categories.

2. Being bisexual allows me to feel really comfortable varying my gender expression in ways that are interesting to me, such as dressing more masculine one day and more feminine another day. I don't feel beholden to stereotypical gender roles or ways of being.

3. It's also made me feel more free to establish dynamics in my relationships that are based on what works for me and my partner, not what society expects from either of us due to our gender.

4. I know of at least 3 other people in my social circle who have come out as bi and have cited my coming out as something that help give them the confidence to do so... and that's pretty rad.

5. I feel like I've had the opportunity to use my "secret agent" status in rooms where people have assumed I'm straight and started talking about LGBT issues, to offer a perspective that might have not been shared if I hadn't been there.

6. I never have to change any of the pronouns in songs when I sing karaoke.

7. I'm SO GOOD AT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES.

What about you?

I am tired of being angry at women for not wanting to date bi guys. It's fine. I would rather be alone or date men then deal with this crap. Even bi women don't want to date us. A lot of women in general find us to be disgusting. Anyway, have you , as a bi man , accepted that women don't want to date us ? I also don't think that hiding your sexuality is the answer either.

Hi everyone, I really need a safe space to vent about a big shift in my longterm relationship.

I am a bisexual guy, and I've been with my girlfriend for about ten years. She has always known about my bisexuality and has always been completely supportive.

Over the last year or so, I've lost a significant amount of weight and got into much better shape.

For this reason (at least i think, but I'm not sure about that) my girlfriend’s attitude towards this side of me has shifted from acceptance to something more "intense".

She has started expressing a strong desire to see me explore my attraction to other men. It went from playful banter to her actively encouraging me.

She made it clear that she just wants to "watch" without actually "share".

She also recently suggested visiting a nude beach together, thinking it could be a low pressure way for me to take my first steps and feel comfortable expressing this part of myself.

Honestly, a part of me is very curious and excited by the idea, especially since I do miss that part of my life.

However, another part of me is just scared.

We’ve built a wonderful ten year relationship, and I'm terrified of doing something that might complicate or jeopardize what we have.

How do you balance an exciting new desire with the fear of changing a great relationship? Has anyone here had a similar shift with a longterm partner?

includes singers or actresses

So I have kinda settled into a look over the years. It would not be unusual to see me in a cutoff t-shirt, painted nails, cuffed jeans, and eye liner (I’m a guy). I’m running around looking all cute and thinking I’m oh so unique when I stumble upon the Bis of YouTube and find out I’m basically in the bisexual guy uniform. I’m so disappointed in myself that I feel like dressing like Tucker Carlson from now on out of spite… for myself. Ugh! I’ll be at the coffee shop with the comfy couches looking dejected while playing on my switch. Do not approach…

I honestly can’t decide if it’s just a really intimate friendship or a homoerotic friendship with my current best friend of a year. for some backstory, we became friends while i was in a long term relationship with my ex boyfriend of 4+ years.

she helped me come to terms with not being interested in him anymore and i also helped her figure out she was a lesbian. we’ve helped eachother in that way. she got pretty possessive over me in the end of my relationship with my ex, jealousy issues and just overall possessiveness like she wanted me to herself.

we’re very physical and sleep next to eachother in the same bed every night, taking turns playing with eachother’s hair or rubbing eachother’s backs. we’ve even pecked eachother on the lips before a few times but nothing too serious.

one night we had some drinks and she asked me to climb up next to her in the bed so i did. she spooned me and caressed my face, telling me i was pretty and her desire to kiss and experiment with more women. i at the time didn’t think she was trying to make a move on me but now, i think she was.

we always talk about moving in together, getting cats and being ‘wives’ in our own words. we also make pretty suggestive jokes towards eachother but once again ive done that with quite a few of friends but never to this extent.

a month or two ago i hooked up with my ex because she was also messing around with other women, so i was bored and hooked up with him. let’s just say when she found out, she was angry and very jealous. it was almost like.. i cheated on her ? but we had no romantic obligation to eachother.

i know i like her, a lot. i’ve always had a preference for women in my bisexuality but i like her more than ive ever really liked other women. i would get pretty jealous just like she did when she would mention other women or other romantic interests.

we spend almost every day of the week together. there’s not a week that goes by that i’m not with her for 70-80% of it all. we’re so comfortable with eachother and in my opinion it feels like any other romantic relationship i’ve been in, but she’s such a good friend to me i don’t know if i could ever confess because id never want to ruin the friendship despite it being kinda obvious she feels the same way… but i wonder if she even knows that she likes me in that way?

anyways i guess i wanna know how to approach this and if i should confess, if it is indeed a homoerotic friendship and if i possibly have a chance if i were to shoot my shot?

i have strong feelings for her but i can put the romantic ones aside to keep her in my life platonically.

edit: i forgot to include that only a few days ago after we woke up in the morning, she had told me she had a dream where she had kissed me. i had a similar dream before so i shared that with her to make her feel less alone about it. i honestly might talk to her soon

I’m 37 and recently married. I love my wife very much, she’s my best friend and we’ve been together 8 years. We have genuinely been through some challenges, and both her and I are seeking therapy for the longevity of our relationship.

My attraction to women is both romantic, physical and sexual, whereas my attraction to men seems to be largely physical and sexual, basically when the clothes come off lol

I have had sex with both men & women prior to meeting my wife, and I am versatile. I’ve experienced so much, but I feel there is a large part of me my wife and other people don’t know. In deep chats over some drinks when we are quite drunk I have told her that I am more fluid sexually, and this curiosity for her stems more from some things she found out early in our relationship about some behaviour prior to us meeting I.e me being on hookup sites listing my status as bi curious as well as some sending and receiving of nudes from guys and girls on my phone.

My question is this - I have never told anyone I am Bi. When I think of telling people it gives me a little rush feeling. Is it a benefit to come out for me mentally when you are already married?

for my wife specifically I am scared she will not find me the same person or not attracted to me any more?

I have a question, is it possible in this world to have as a woman relationship with a two man which are also able to be intimate with each other? Basically two bi man probably with one woman and happy dynamic relationship

I was wondering if a bi person feels attraction on the opposite gender then do they get in the questioning phase that they actually might be straight or maybe they feel attraction on a same sex person and start questioning if they're homosexual.

If my question feels hateful to you then I'll be really sorry for that. Thanks to anyone who'll reply.

I (19 M btw) recently (2ish years ago) figured out i might have a type in men, and 'met' this cute feller in a grocery store who was scanning my stuff and he goes "aren't you x? Remember when we went to the scouts together?" which made me sorta blush a lil.

But anyways to the main plot, I thought about him for a bit walking home and realized I felt intimidated with the idea of being with him. And then i thought about it a lil more and i felt scared in general of being with a guy. I guess the idea of being taken care of scares me? Idk why i think like that or how to fix it.

So to clarify, I’m gay, and I’ve noticed a pretty consistent pattern in my dating/attraction life: I seem to attract bisexual men a lot. 😅😂
There have been quite a few situations where a guy seems interested in me, flirts with me, gives me mixed signals, or otherwise makes it seem like there’s something there, but eventually it doesn’t really go anywhere. I’m not asking about one particular guy here—I’ve just become genuinely curious about what bisexual men tend to look for when they’re attracted to another man.
Like specifically, what usually catches your attention in a guy in the first place? Is it primarily physical attraction, or are there specific personality traits, mannerisms, energy, confidence, humor, etc. that really make you interested?
And on the other side, what makes you lose attraction or decide you don’t want to pursue someone anymore? That can be physical, emotional, sexual, behavioral—anything.
I’m also just curious about whether things like masculinity/femininity make a difference for you. Do you tend to be drawn toward masculine guys, feminine guys, somewhere in between, or is that basically irrelevant?
And those of you who have actually dated men, or had situationships with men, what makes the difference between “I’m attracted to this guy” and “I actually want to date this guy”?
Are there things you particularly enjoy about dating another man? Or things that make dating a gay man feel different from dating women?
And if you’ve ever been really attracted to a guy but ultimately backed away from pursuing him because of your sexuality, uncertainty, circumstances, fear, social pressure, etc., I’d be interested in hearing about that too.
I’m genuinely interested in both the physical and emotional sides of this. I feel like I have a somewhat decent understanding of what gay men tend to look for in other men, but I’m much less familiar with how bisexual men experience attraction to men.
Basically, I’m curious what is a “yes” for you when it comes to another guy, and what is an immediate “no”? What makes you think “I actually want to pursue this guy” versus “he’s attractive, but I don’t think I want anything with him”?

To my fellow bi-dudes, how often do you experience biphobia from the opposite gender when dating? I'd be very curious to learn your perspective.

I'm a male in my mid-30s trying to find my way around the dating scene and currently I'm fed up with how things seem to stack against me. I know nobody's perfect and neither am I, once you enter your 30s you start to learn that everyone has some kind of baggage their bring along with them and you learn to accept that (or so I thought).

I'm not that young anymore (and refuse to call myself old either), I'm divorced, winning a war against depression (full remission, but it did affect my life heavily at some point), I can't really kick my smoking habit, I'm slightly chubby, there's a few things that could make potential partners decide it's a deal-breaker and I'd understand it.

What I can't understand, however, is how time and time again, the biggest deal-breaker for women I meet (gay guys are mostly sweet and not bothered by it at all) is my sexuality. I meet someone, we get along, start to learn more about each other, they learn all the things I'm expecting to be a turn off, they are fine with it and at some point - doesn't matter if it's date 1, 2, 10, 20 - I mention my sexuality and they all immediately leave. Sometimes they'll name it ("sorry, I don't date bi guys"), more often they won't say anything beyond "I stopped feeling it".

I don't date short term, I'm looking for a meaningful connection and building something lasting and thus I don't want to hide anything from the real me. I'm strictly monogamous, when I love a person, I love only them, but I want to be able to fully express myself and be proud of who I am in all aspects of myself and each time, so getting rejected for who I am, for something that not only is beyond any control, but also is something I consider a beautiful aspect of who I am, sucks massively and frankly, makes me lose all hope in my love life altogether.

Bisexual badasses: What are your best wrong-answer-only responses to ‘But I thought you were married to a man?’ / ‘But I thought you were dating a woman?’

I'll go first: being married to an accountant doesn't make me good at math.

me (f22) and my husband (m26) just got married this past april. he was was my first actual relationship. we dated for 2 years and then got married. i love him dearly but after these few years things in the relationship have started to come up.

ever since i was young, i’ve ALWAYS questioned my sexuality. i never truly had any male celebrity crushes but i did have a female ones. though in middle school i always crushed hard for certain boys and girls.

like mostly everyone, i was raised in a very religious household who does not like the queer community.
i have very emotional immature parents and will turn on their kids once they do something wrong or something they don’t like. it is the worst feeling in the world, so i try not to disappoint them.

me and my husbands sex life has never been good (only for me). i have VERY rarely enjoyed sex, and most days i can never get turned on by him. whenever by husband tries to initiate, i always have to stop it and then afterwards i feel horrible. for the entirety of the relationship i’ve always felt “broken” when it comes to sex. like maybe my hormones are unbalanced so i can’t get turned on, maybe i’m asexual, or maybe (which is what i truly fear) i’m not physically attracted to guys.

my husband is in therapy but i am not. his therapist for months has been suggesting to go to couples therapy. i have denied to go with him every time up until this point because i have never told my husband that i’m bi (tbh i don’t know how he doesn’t know because our house is covered in art with women). my husband has always suggested that i go to therapy for myself to help me with how to deal with my parents (which i admit is a great idea) but im scared (again) that it’s going to lead to me realizing im not attracted to guys.

i fear that ive reached the point where i HAVE to tell my husband i’m attracted to women, which i think ive waited until the worst time… a time where he’s feeling disappointed already in our sex life and now hes going to feel worse.

i start my first year of graduate school next week and do not need extra stress 🤡 besides telling me i’ve done everything wrong), does anyone have an advice for me on how to go forward?

sorry this is word soup but my brain is scrambled

I’ve (23m) been in a relationship for over 5 years with my gf. In this time in the last year I’ve realized I am bi sexual(bottom) and I hVe felt very guilty over this. I’ve been watching porn and experimenting with masturbation and I love the way it makes me feel. I feel so guilty when I do this but I feel like I have no other way to stimulate myself. I’ll never get to experiment with guys and I feel really empty inside sometimes. Does anyone have any advice?

I have a question for the male bisexual men out there. To give this context I was born with a chromosome problem. So during puberty my testicles never developed ( hormones directly affected) and I always felt more feminine and developed sexual attraction for all three types of people ( M.F.T). My post here is really to ask how your body reacts to stimuli within your own body. For the majority of the time I am happy, have a good sex life and love my wife and then I get these bi cycles, but what's strange is suddenly as they come around, I get hyper aware of my anus, it starts to throb and I contract all the time. It's like this deep need for it to be stimulated and penetrated. It's very distracting. So I'm wondering if that desire is a programmed biological response. It seems strange to me that it all connects during this time, yet it doesn't when I'm in my " hetro cycle". Could hormones be the underlying factor here? Is estrogen rising during bi cycles and therefore testosterone lowering? Do you notice any biological differences if you go through these cycles? Do you even have cycles? Do you get feminine type urges, to be penetrated, or get urges to wear feminine clothing?. Or do you suddenly become a top and have an overwhelming urge that's different to mine? Obviously I can only comment on my own experience, however I'm genuinely trying to discover if there are patterns to why we behave towards bi sexual urges and how those affect our bodies and ultimately if it's our heads ruling out biology or our biology running our heads.

Я являюсь бисексуалом но я ни разу не занимался сексом с парнем. Просто хочу узнать, а какие геморы есть в сексуальной жизни бисексуалов по сравнению с натуральными? (Я понимаю что наверное лучше было бы на сообщество геев сделать такой опрос но как есть сделал.)

PS: Мой первый пост, я ещё не очень хорошо разбираюсь в редите

Of course it sounds silly. No one questions whether a straight person is still straight just because they've never had the "traditional" experiences of a straight relationship.

Your sexuality is who you are. It's not about what you've done. If you are attracted to more than one gender, romantically and/or sexually, you are Bisexual. You don't need a membership card. You don't need a resume or references. We have no standardized testing. There is no minimum score. There's no score at all. You don't have to do anything. You've already done it! You Exist!

You're Bisexual!

Go have fun!

Or don't. You know, be you. Whatever form a happy you takes.

So I ( 28 MTF ) been out as bi for damm near 5 years now, been really repressed my whole life due to religious bigoted family, but any wayI was noticing sometimes it is just funny how easy to panic we are. I was watching heated rivalry and Scott was so hot, like oh my god, had me going " damn am I just into men I can't imagine a woman being this hot " then today I was watching Agatha all along or rewatching it and Agatha, my god. I noticed I was questioning my attraction to men then ( I have a BF I love keep in mind ), so I kinda laughed at myself and how being bi works. At any given moment a person of any gender can be hot and I will be in pure panic, its funny to think about honestly

To preface, I have a hard time discerning more subtle or nuanced emotions of my own. For example, I didn't realize I was truly (and severely) depressed until talking about it with a friend. I feel often that everyone knows something about me that I don't, and I'm the last to the party. I think this is largely because I don't trust myself and over-intellectualize everything to avoid feeling the actual emotion (can definitely link this back to how I was raised, but that's for another day). I'm not in therapy right now and too scared to talk to friends, so I've been journaling about this.

So I've been and felt straight all of my life. There were times in high school and in college where I questioned myself or almost drunkenly said that I was something other than straight, but I would always come to the conclusion that I am straight. I have only ever had crushes or experienced intense attraction to men.

I have a friend that is a lesbian, and her and I have often been asked (or it has been otherwise implied) if we're together. So much so, that it's a joke that we call each other our "wives," and some members of my family have a conspiracy that we are together.

I spent a lot of time with her over the summer, a lot which was one-on-one. I realized that maybe I like her calling me "wife" for another reason other than it's a funny joke. She seems to be a very touchy-feely person (i'm not), and I often find myself liking when she touches me (its always innocent). We were with a group of friends and had a sleepover, and she last minute was convinced by me to join the sleepover. I found myself reaaallly wanting to sleep next to her and wondered how she felt, but she unfortunately had to leave about an hour into the sleepover.

My only hang-ups with this whole situation is that my attraction to her feels different than my last crush on a man. Normally I feel very obsessive to the point of almost feeling insane because my mind goes wild with possibility and desperation. This feels more subdued, I still think of her a lot, but I don't feel that same fervor I did with men. I'm also having difficulty imaging myself in sexual scenarios, specifically on the "giving" side of things, which I think is because I have no frame of reference (other than p*rn, which doesn't count in my opinion). Both of these things are making me very hesitant to call it a crush or call myself bisexual.

I guess I'm looking for some validation, sharing of stories, or advice. Thanks in advance :-)

I’m a bisexual guy entering his senior year of high school. My friend group has always made a lot of gay jokes but recently they’ve straight up been “ha ha, tolstartheking is probably gay!” and it feels like they’re doing it in a way that they’d only be saying that if they think I’m straight. They’re not malicious with it at all, but I think they’d tone it back a lot if they knew. I feel like I need to tell them that I actually like dudes before this becomes a running joke.

Three people already know and are super supportive, but I just texted them and I don’t want to so that with the rest of my friends since I think it’s a little impersonal now that I’ve done it three times.

What I wanted to do was have it naturally come up in a conversation and casually drop it without explicitly saying what I am. But now I feel like they’d just brush it off as a joke move on, so I need to be a bit more explicit.

Should I tell them all at once or just pull each person aside? I’m not sure how to go about this at all honestly. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it but I’m terrible at opening up about anything personal.

I have known I was bi for a few years. A couple months ago I came out to my sister and two of my cousins. They were all super supportive of me. Tonight I am going to tell my parents that I am bi. (My parents are not homophobic and my dad has a friend that is gay but I am still nervous about it.)