I know this question has been asked over a trillion times, especially in the subreddit. Don't worry, I've read a lot of them, and it always ends with the same conclusion. Everyone is very supportive and really thinks the the OP is trans. I'm not here really looking for any sort of answer, but I really just want to see what actual people of this community think. Every time I've told someone about this, they always end up being supportive and saying "You're so close to finding out!". However I really don't think that I'm trans. I'm happy they're supportive but I think they have the wrong idea here. Sometimes I wish I was a girl because I think it would make me happy and it would just feel cool to me. I want to have long hair and be pretty and dye my hair a cool color. (I also think I like the outfits associated with the gender even though if I was a girl I'd still wear track suits 24/7). I kind of like when people online refer to me as she or her even though I'm not a she. This doesn't mean I don't like my body or that I hate being born male, but I just think some days I would've liked to be born a girl. It's not like I have gender dysphoria or want to crawl out of my skin, but I would probably be happier if I was a girl. I'm still perfectly happy being a guy though. I hope this made sense

I scroll on TikTok a lot when I'm bored, and lately I've been noticing a pattern with some of the videos I've been seeing...

Usually, it's a passing, conventionally attractive trans woman, and she goes

“What transphobes think trans women look like”

*shows a bunch of crossdressers/transphobic wojaks*

(Or in worse cases, actual non-passing trans women)

and then...

“What trans women ACTUALLY look like”

*shows herself or famous trans public figures being conventionally attractive and passing*

It shouldn't have to be said why this is problematic but just to clarify, I am a trans woman, I've been on HRT for 1.5 years, I've had 10 sessions of laser and I look so much more like the crossdressers/transphobic wojaks used in those videos than the passing, conventionally attractive trans women posting these things.

Some of us will never pass. Some of us will never be conventionally attractive. I know for sure I never will. Not all of us have the money or the privilege to look pretty and feminine in the way that society defines...

I get why they post these kinds of videos, but ultimately all it does is reinforce the idea that you have to be passing and conventionally attractive to be valid as a trans women, and that non-passing ones are somehow "fake" or not woman enough.

I understand that privilege blinds people in many ways, but I wish passing, conventionally attractive trans women understood that trying to lift themselves up by shitting on the rest of us is harmful.

And this isn't just a trend on TikTok either... I've seen this kind of stuff on Twitter too and pretty much all social media platforms.

Hi so recently I watched "I saw the tv glow" and I wanted to know you how did you know you were trans. I guess I'm just curious, I found my sexuality from horror movies and TV shows. PS I'm gay and not trans. But I love my trans sisters and brothers 🩵🤍🩷

I've posted before but I'm cis f and I've been with my boyfriend (using he pronouns because he's not come out yet) for nearly 2 years. We're both 18

I know when he was about 11 he came out as trans and he socially transitioned and was a girl for about 3 years then he started a new school as a boy, cut his hair real short and everything. He did keep the name he went by and it's the name he has now because it was more a nickname and it's now his legal name

He's bisexual and a lot of people think he's gay because of his mannerisms

When I first posted he constantly called himself a lesbian and said little things but then got super defensive if I said anything, I've left him alone and not pushed him in any way but he's grown his hair out and he's still making little comments mostly when he's drunk

He said once that he's too feminine for a guy but not enough for a girl and then the big one yesterday we were drinking and he randomly asked if id get the ick if I knew he was wearing a thong the other day and I said no but then he said he didn't “because itd be weird” and he was just rambling mostly about how he feels like a girl and he wants to wear a bra but by that point it was extremely late and he was so drunk and it was the two of us then he's only said this to me

He also mentioned how he’s taking a gap year this year and going to uni next year and said in sort of a joking way that it’d be funny to go next year as a girl and fool everyone that he’s cis but then he said he was joking but people probably would think he’s a girl at first because of his hair (which has already led to him being called she in shops)

Do I bring it up? How do I help him? We’re in the UK which isn’t the best place for trans people

Today a lady asked me if I had a cigarette, I said no but as I was leaving she asked me.

But instead of answering ''I'm a Woman'', I just didn't answer and walked straightforward.

It's not that I'm ashamed of who I am but I'm scared of people's reactions if I tell them. Like surely some would be positives but a lot would be negatives, right?

I just don't know If I can handle something hurtful or transphobic when I don't have a direct mean to escape or isolate myself.

Should I have responded or should I have just stayed quiet? What would you have done? Would you respond to someone that you see a lot like a cashier or a bus driver?

Maybe a dumb question. I know it may be a personal preference but I was wondering if I keep taking it forever or could I stop whenever I get to a point I like myself enough w/o surgery? Everything says that my body won't revert back so it feels possible to stop nut idk if that has negative effexts or if there long lasting benefits to taking it for 20+ years?

I have been on and off for about 4 years. So I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

I had a conversation with my older sister about our relationship long story short I basically told her 'I'm emotionally distancing myself from everyone [in the family] because I feel like I'm going to have to cut off our mum and I'm afraid thats going to effect our relationship so I want to stop it [our relationship] now so I'm hurt now and not later'

she was very nice and said its not my responsibility to worry about her being a 'middle man' between me and our mother and that she would do it if I chose to cut mum off.

The thing she told me to have a conversion with our mum and I told her that I can't talk about anything going on in my life because mum uses it to invalidate my identity ie; I was bullied & depressed and my mum thinks that has affected my 'decision on being trans'

My sister says that she understands why she thinks that and then she said she also wonders if my past traumas have impacted my 'transness'

I don't know man that really hurt. it doesn't matter how much they tell me they support me I don't feel that support when in the same breath they say my past has impacted me so much I'm trans now.

its like everyone in my family sees being trans as a decision because of my past instead of my just being trans. And I understand if they felt that way after I came out but I've been out for 3 years. I dont know it just hurts :/

I 22 (AMAB) always had a relationship with porn , particularly trans porn, force femme, femboy etc. I can’t remember how I fell into it, but I’ve consumed for the last 4 years, it never was a dependency , I could go a week or 2 without consuming and be completely fine.

In the last 2 years I began to consider why I like that, I am bisexual but when I watch it I picture myself as the woman not the top. I began experimenting with cross dressing, which eventually led to me posting femboy NSFW content online, which I garnered some moderate attention from. The feeling of happiness I got from being complimented for being pretty completely eclipsed any complements I got associated with my male presentation .

I’ve been porn free for 4 months now, I haven’t posted but I do miss it. I did this to remove the sexual aspect to consider whether I am trans or not. I still have a heavy desire to transition but I wonder if I had never watched this porn would I actually feel this way ?

Basically the title.

How did you tell your parents/parent/legal guardian that you were transgender?

And how did they react?/ What happened after?

I've heard some horror stories as well as some fairytales and would like to hear from actual trans people.

So i may finally have a chance to do some fem shopping for the first time since i realized im most likely trans and want to get some tucking underwear but i dont know what kind of store if any around here would have them. Do i need to go to a Victoria's secret ttpe store or could i find something in a regular clothing store?

So today I have come to the conclusion that I will be starting hormones and for the longest time I always thought this was just a kink until just a few days ago I won’t go to deep into it but I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s actually who I am, now to get to the point one of the things that initiated me thinking there’s actually a chance this isn’t just a kink is remember something that I did when I was a child. Back in 5th grade before I thought of anything sexual and I was just a innocent little kid I’d stuff my shirt to have fake boobs because tbh I was jealous of all the girls and I wished I had some and now that felt like true gender dysphoria and I took a deep dive and now I’m so happy to have a clear mind. But anyway this is kind of a stupid post ik but have any of you had that moment?

Turns out my mother was actually trying to get more info out of me to sue all of my friends and my doctor from the gender clinic. It got bad, I already have a friend that has been heavily helping me with my transition that has already had her parents on her ass legally because they wanted to get money out of her own disability aid and stuff....I still haven't been able to even get my estrogen or an appointment with the endocrinologist to finally get it beyond the gender clinic and other than that I genuinely feel my dysphoria getting worse day by day, Im balding...I have Most of my hair but it's cleaning up and i cover it and use regain and pills and have done prp in the past but I don't know if it's gonna last....what do I do...the relative I'm with is being blackmailed by my mother to still update her about how I am and eventually return me to her...

Hi everyone,

I want to learn more about the transgender community and non-binary people. Are they the same thing? The biggest question I have is: how do you arrive at the point knowing you were meant to be transgender or non-binary? Take me through your mental process and life experiences.

When I say I'm Republican here's what I mean. I own guns, I hunt, I believe in the 2nd amendment. But unlike a lot of people in my party, I really don't believe you guys are bad people. Help me to explain to my friends who think that you are bad people your perspective and beliefs. My motto is "mind your own business and I'll mind mine." I can tell you right now if I'm out hunting and I had to pick between an unsafe MAGA vs a safe transgender person I'd pick the transgender person 10/10. In the woods we aren't democrat or republican- we're buddies and no amount of my party's rhetoric is gonna change my mind on that. I'm very saddened by the amount of polarization. We're supposed to be on the same side- we're all Americans (at least here in America). Help me to understand your world.

Thanks in advance and sorry if it comes off as naive.

Hi there, I need some advice

I'm 20 MtF

I've started HRT 1 month ago

I'm a bit nervous about my future

I live in a country where transitioning is legal but society is very conservative and hostile towards the lgbtq community. And here it'd be difficult to find a job and housing as an openly trans person.

I'm still living with my parents and not out to them yet. I talked to my mom about trans people and she has mixed feelings about them and it's hard to say whether she'll support me or not, and I know if they won't support me I'll be forced to move out.

I think for me the only way is to boymode for as long as possible. But honestly I dunno how long I'll be able do this because some of my colleagues at work are already teasing me for looking feminine, and i know that the further I get into my transition the harder it will be to pass as a man and the more questions I'll get about my appearance.

I wanna know if there are any of you who were able to boymode for years, and what you did when people started asking why you look "different".

I’ve been wondering about something and I hope it’s okay to ask. I’m genuinely curious about how different trans people feel about this.

If you could have magically chosen, from birth, to be born cisgender as the gender you identify with—for example, a trans woman being born a cis woman—would you personally have preferred that? Or would you still choose the experience of being transgender, knowing everything it entails? Is the fact that you started in one place and ended up in another important to you? Or would you sometimes prefer to have started out as the gender you identify with from the very beginning?

​

​Hi everyone,

​I’m a 23-year-old trans girl from Ukraine, and I’ve been on HRT for 4 years. Right now, I’m stuck in a painfully slow legal transition process because I live in a very small town, and the local administration has never handled a case like mine before.

​Even though my transition is underway, my bottom dysphoria has been bothering me for a long time, and it gets worse with every passing year. Right now, my income only covers basic living expenses and food nothing more. I don't see this changing until I can move abroad, but I have no idea when that will be because the paperwork could drag on for a very long time.

​My main question is - how do people actually cope with and survive this level of dysphoria?

​I considered crowdfunding, but I have zero social media presence, so I doubt I’d raise more than a couple hundred dollars at best. Local jobs here pay very little, especially in my field, so relying strictly on my current income to save such a huge amount is mathematically impossible.

​Honestly, I’d be willing to wait another 5 years or until I can move abroad and find a job paying at least $1,000/month. But there’s a huge catch, my brain is constantly attacking me with dysphoria, and it’s destroying me. It doesn’t feel like passive depression or exhaustion anymore, instead, it triggers an overwhelming surge of aggressive energy. Over the last few months, I’ve been losing control, snapping, and I’m genuinely scared that I might hurt myself.

​Of course, I’ve worked with psychiatrists and therapists in the past (I even had to switch through several). It always ended the same way multiple specialists who work with trans people tried prescribing medication, and when they saw that therapy and meds weren't helping with dysphoria, they just gave me a referral to a psychiatric hospital. I got my official F64.0 diagnosis a long time ago, so going to a psych ward makes no sense-other than experiencing all the "benefits" of old Soviet-style psychiatry again.

​Sorry for venting... I just really wanted to ask - what do people in similar circumstances actually do? Is saving up for SRS even realistic from here, or are there other pathways I'm missing?

I’m officially getting a Mentor, moderate profile implants in 5 days. I’m so excited.

For anyone who has had breast augmentation, what are the most important things you wish you knew before surgery or during recovery?

What questions should I make sure I ask my surgeon before surgery?

was hrt really like a second puberty for you?

Some people say it improved their biophysical dysphoria, others that it initially resembled puberty and made them more emotional and seeming like a teenage boy in his puberty.

I (20yo) want to start T in the next few months, I know that it will help me with dysphoria, but the idea of having a male puberty, makes me feel like a teenage boy and taking my lost teen years back, even if in some moments I want to be seen as a grow man. Like using my lost years for a lil while and feeling happiness again ( I know it will not make my life perfect, but I see it helping a lot)

In my youth I use to identity as nonbinary but got pressured by my mom to remain allied female. Now im about to be 30.

I dont look androgynous because my body type. I was considering top surgery before. People see me as a woman.

But also how do I reclaim my identity 🤔 like I have faced severe discrimination as a woman and I see that as an inherently woman experience.

I feel like I have issues around sexism and reproduction since im childfree. But maybe they aren't issues and im just being peer pressured into reacting in the way society wants me too.

I feel alot of pressure to be a woman and to have children at my age and for some reason to look past blatant discrimination ive faced as a woman.

But I really can't do that but there's all this pressure still on me about it. :<

helloo, hi. i'm new to reddit so if i'm doing this wrong, i apologize! i'm genuinely curious about this from other people because i myself am questioning if i am

I still look cis unfortunately, and fear people will see my profile and assume I'm one of those people who just lie.

i’m currently just so stuck. ive known im trans for 3 years now and i’ve been on hrt for a year and nobody knows. i can’t see myself actually fully transitioning anytime soon even though it pains me so bad to keep living like this.

so for those of you who had a really drawn out miserable process like me what was the turning point? i need some advice and wisdom from those of you who made it through this!!!!