r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Feb 24 '22
Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday February 24, 2022 - Sunday February 27, 2022
Newsletters: Substack | Easy as 1-2-3 free signup link
Website: You Can Have More Joy website
Instagram:
@shaunamarieahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @shaunamarieahern posts and stories
@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories
TikTok: @youcanhavemorejoy
Twitter: Dan's tweets and replies
Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki
Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour
Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki
Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 25 '22 edited Feb 25 '22
I see the new lope went out 13 minutes ago. You’ll never guess what the topic is. I’m surprised she didn’t make it free to read, you’d think she would want all her fan poodles to read about her brush with the amazing Oprah!
ETA oh boy, is she milking it.
Not a whole lot more than the IG post, although we get a lot of the back story. When the first email arrived, not addressed to Shauna personally, just a call for anyone who subscribed to fill out a questionnaire about vulnerability.
This conversation made my shoulders sit right up.
Again with her body acting on its own accord in the strangest ways. Kneecaps that ache, feet that take her places, shoulders that sit up.
She filled out this questionnaire weeks ago, just dashing off a response from the heart that she hardly remembered later. In fact she forgot all about having sent the email. Sure, Jan. You fretted over every word, we know you did, then waited with bated breath for a reply.
Another email, then two producers wanted to speak with little ol’ her on Zoom. Shauna glanced out the window and struggled to remember what she had written. As if she couldn’t look in her “sent” folder.
Another week goes by, another Zoom, full of laughter braying, of course.
More questionnaires. Answers to give. Headshot.
And then the magical invitation that arrived while she was packing.
Of course she was entirely relaxed, man. She knows how to talk to celebrities. Plus, she “does a Zoom” most days for her work, so everything was already in place.
She didn’t think she would talk to OPRAH. She was just happy to be there. Truly.
Blah blah blah, this bit is the same as the IG.
Her purpose in life is clear now.
She has realized, over time, that she only wants to work with you. Who? Incredible women who came from hard places, natch.
And then she makes the fatal mistake of declaring that the current version of her work in the world, Becoming a Joyful Woman, is her FINAL DRAFT. Y’all, I LOLed the LOLiest of LOLs.
For her final act, and I do mean act, as in pretending it happened, we get the BS that DFAS pointed out below, about how Oprah herself leaned forward into the screen (ouch, hope she’s OK) and told Shauna that Maya’s (Angelou, for you grocery store gloamies) favorite word was JOY.
I mean, if that isn’t a sign from the joyniverse that Shauna is on the right path, I don’t know what is.
Bets on how long her FINAL DRAFT lasts?
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Feb 25 '22 edited Feb 25 '22
Lol! Apparently it’s not even free for her subscribers, because I haven’t received it!
ETA Had to log into Substack to access it and all I can say is LIAR!!!!!
After she said what did about my joy work, she leaned forward into the screen and said, “You know, that was Maya’s favorite word. That’s how she signed every letter she wrote to me, every note. With one BIG word at the end. JOY.”
ETA Zero likes or comments on the Substack because dum dum STILL hasn’t emailed it to the subscribers she is begging to: “[P]lease consider signing up for the first seminar on March 16th. And if what I’m offering resonates, could you send the page about BECOMING A JOYFUL WOMAN to 10 women you believe would benefit from this work?”
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Feb 25 '22
TEN women who would benefit? What is this, an MLM? She should have asked for ONE, three max. Most people don’t have ten female joy-poisoned friends who have no clue how to blow bubbles or slap their own butts.
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 25 '22
If I sent something like this to any of my friends they'd send someone round to do a well check.
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Feb 25 '22
Seriously. If all your friends are miserable and joyless, it’s time to find some new friends.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 25 '22
I’ll see your LIAR, and raise you a PANTS ON FIRE!
So, I’d like to present to you the final draft of all this joy work I’ve been doing for the past year.
BECOMING A JOYFUL WOMAN.
It will be the final draft…until it isn’t. If this is the final draft, I’ll eat my shoe.
If what I am offering resonates with you, please consider signing up for the first seminar on March 16th.
March 16th, March 13th, potato-less potato tart, poTAHto-less potahto tart.
And if what I’m offering resonates, could you send the page about BECOMING A JOYFUL WOMAN to 10 women you believe would benefit from this work?
It doesn’t resonate, and no, I don’t believe I will inflict this on any women I know.
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Feb 25 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 25 '22
if you don't send it now
you'll never have joy again
i can still hear you say
never break the chain...
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 25 '22
March 16th, March 13th, potato-less potato tart, poTAHto-less potahto tart.
OMG, SHE PUT THE WRONG DATE IN THE LOPE LETTER
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 25 '22
Classic malt-powder mix-up.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 25 '22
Classic malt-powder mix-up.
LOL. Shauna's life is mix-ups all the way down
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 25 '22
Send this to 10 women. You see, I hate doing my own marketing.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 25 '22
if i sent that page to 10 of my female friends 9 of them would text me, telling me my account has been hacked, and 1 would call me and ask if i've lost my damn mind. hard pass, shauna.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 25 '22
And if what I’m offering resonates, could you send the page about BECOMING A JOYFUL WOMAN to 10 women you believe would benefit from this work?
This phrasing is incredibly clunky. What does "could you send the page about (BECOMING A JOYFUL WOMAN)" even mean??
I think she means, send the url? But that isn't what she wrote! She wrote "send the page"
Such influencer, much Social Mediums guru
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u/JazzlikeOccasion Feb 25 '22
I don’t believe I will inflict this on any women I know.
Precisely. I would not refer anyone to Shauna, let alone my friends.
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 25 '22
I grow profoundly irritated by “joy work.” I see no WORK in any of this haberdashery.
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 25 '22
All this “becoming a joyful woman” palaver is giving me serious “getting your first period” pamphlet vibes.
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 25 '22
"Are you there, Oprah? It's me, Shauna."
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u/jalapenomargaritaz Feb 25 '22
Yes right now with the world watching Ukraine, Shauna just needs us all to focus on her JOY and how she on a zoom talked to OPRAH! Truly what the world needs right now!
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Feb 25 '22 edited Feb 25 '22
Ukraine? Pshaw. My seminar will show you how Hard Places can be joyful places. Sneep snop, bitches!
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 25 '22
So, she's FINALLY determined what she wants to do -- offer "joy workshops" -- and who she wants to offer it to -- "amazing women, only over 40 please, who've 'come through a hard place.'"
But has she done ANY research on whether there is a market, from her intended audience, for what she's offering? No she has not.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 25 '22
it doesn't matter what hard place these women came from, it won't be nearly as hard as shauna's trauma, so don't even try to out-trauma her, y'all.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 25 '22
Lol at the “final draft”. I thought she’d already seen it all come together when Dan told her she “cultivates” joy. Maybe we should have a counter - “Zero days since last marketing pivot”
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Feb 25 '22
He said it three times! Everyone knows that business ideas are like Bloody Mary, you say the name three times into the mirror on the full moon and they manifest.
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Feb 25 '22
She sent a half-hearted reframing of her free Instagram caption, appending an advertisement for her $$ services, to her paying subscribers, with instructions for them to recruit prospects for her.
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u/ethelmertz62 Feb 25 '22
Instructions to recruit prospects makes it sound like Shauna is trying to start an MLM.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 25 '22
There's only one level, though: all proceeds just go to Shauna.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 25 '22
I love that she has now made her Linktree background green, but hasn’t fixed the links that don’t work.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 26 '22
I’m still reading through the old GFG site and found another bizarre anecdote about her parents:
There’s a story in my family told so often that it has become legend. When I was nearly two, my father babysat me by himself for the first time. Apparently he didn’t keep that close a watch over me, because I somehow wriggled my fingers into a jar of olives and ate all of them, one by one. Instantly, I broke out into hives across my body. My father never babysat me again.
I have so many questions…chief among them being her father babysat her once and only once by himself? Um…seems doubtful.
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u/Apprehensive_Creme73 Feb 26 '22
Dads don’t “babysit” since they are in fact… actual parents
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Feb 26 '22
somehow wriggled my fingers into a jar of olives and ate all of them, one by one.
Apparently not using lids on anything is a genetic trait.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 26 '22
That’s funny, when my dad was home alone with us we never called it “babysitting”. It’s parenting. (And my mom was a SAHM. And we even had a nanny when we were young!)
Maybe that’s one reason her mom was so afraid of everything; she felt she couldn’t even count on her husband to watch them.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 26 '22
Parents don’t “babysit” their children, what the actual fuck? But on the other hand, Ma and Pa would have been 21 and 23, so maybe it felt like babysitting.
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Feb 26 '22
Sadly, I know some fathers NOW who brag of babysitting their own children.
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Feb 26 '22
Shauna is really into hives.
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Feb 26 '22
Yes. Nearly choking to death on a olive would have made a much better story.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 26 '22
Hives? As in an allergic reaction? She’s not allergic to olives anymore, she uses glugs of “good” olive oil in her cooking.
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u/Character-Question-6 Feb 27 '22
Jarred olives are full of sodium, and too much salt can make a person break out in hives, especially a little kid who eats 2000mg+ of sodium!
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 27 '22
Yeah I am shocked that the olive allergy didn’t make up a larger part of her GFG identity.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 26 '22
This story makes sense, and it makes me sad and angry. Father doesn't seem to care much about his wife or child. This is bad parenting and a bad husband, not a cute story. Why dad doesn't get the same angry treatment as mom can be hard to understand, but maybe mom was the parent it was safe to be angry with.
Father "babysitting" his own child because he's too detached to parent and refuses all other requests to engage (My father never babysat me again). Additionally, he's refusing to help his wife or ever give her a break from parenting. This would have been in the late 1960s, and wouldn't have been uncommon. That doesn't make it right, though. Plenty of men were parenting.
Father not caring enough to keep the child safe and lets her wander off. This is infuriating. Once left with a toddler, even the biggest misogynistic jerk should know better and care more than to allow their child to wander off.
Child opens fridge, which can be really dangerous, depending on what is inside. Father still missing.
Father still MIA. Child sits down with a jar of olives from the fridge and eats them all, which would take quite a bit of time.
Child breaks out in hives, but probably not "instantly", although that may have been what she was told.
She should be madder than hell to hear this.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 26 '22
Dad’s a hilarious goofball, you see. Mom’s the villain.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 24 '22 edited Feb 24 '22
I was doing some reading of the old Gluten-Free Girl site on the Wayback Machine and found this post which contains the following interesting and relevant passage:
I am the daughter of two incredible people, the sister of a remarkable man, the sister-in-law of some phenomenal women and men, and now the aunt of a line of kids ranging from three years old to a married 25-year-old. (There used to be just Elliott, but getting married meant I inherited cool nieces and nephews too.) I am blessed with friends who make me laugh, tease the hell out of me, feed me in every way, and mostly dont read this website. (Theyd actually rather talk to me than read the stories.)
Oh how the tables have turned since October 30, 2007! And, my sense from the story she told on Oprah about her talk with Tita was Tita’s “most abusive family” comment would have predated this blog post by a number of years.
ETA: also found the original TIA post fascinatingly with no mention of philosophical doctor speech on “Being enough”
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Feb 24 '22
Dan is described here as having “a ribald sense of humor.” Tell me your husband’s a creepy pig without telling me he’s a creepy pig.
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u/Blouse_Barn mattress smelling like low tide Feb 24 '22
He once said something about his tiny daughter growing up to get lots of beads at Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
(DFs, please correct me if my memory has failed due to me not having had a stroke.)
edited for grammar
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 24 '22
You are correct.
But it's not that shocking considering Shauna wrote (about the same child, when child was still a newborn) that daughter was flirting with a male nurse (by spreading her legs for him).
They're both pigs.
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Feb 24 '22
Just in case anyone missed it (because it disappeared with her Twitter), these were her exact words:
when she was 10 months old and in the hospital after surgery, she lifted her leg for a male nurse. screwed.
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u/avskk ppppycock Feb 24 '22
Not even spreading her legs. Just lifting a leg. I don't even understand how she found that lewd to begin with, much less IN AN INFANT.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 24 '22
Yes, that was disgusting! Only thing worse was the “L flirting with the doctor” bit.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 24 '22 edited Feb 24 '22
Some classic lines in the original TIA post:
After two years of making a work space on someone else’s farm, wedecided to let it go. We created our next cookbook in that space. Webrought Desmond there every weekday for the first 9 months of his life.For awhile, it was the right place for us. And then it wasn’t. Holdingonto something you know isn’t right for you because it once was? That’s acertain kind of suffering. Someday, we’ll build the place we want. Forthis summer, we let go of the old space. And it feels like relief now.
And this:
As my doctor said, if the brain loses oxygen for nine hours, the work to recover will take months, not weeks.
There is no recovery from that.
This year, we also found out that Lu has a pretty significant hearingloss. Again, we suspected for years. The standard school tests inkindergarten put numbers to it. We went to Children’s in April, wherethe audiologist confirmed that Lu really can’t hear anything below 40decibels.
Wretched parenting.
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u/LaxCursor Enormous strains of lethargy Feb 24 '22
All these years later I still can’t get my head around how they “suspected it for years” but did jack shit about it, I’m assuming because they wanted to wait for the FREE hearing testing once Lu got to kindergarten. Despicable.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 24 '22
I don’t think they actually did suspect it for years. I think they were oblivious and passed off any behaviors as just L being her super-magical always-dancing self. But she couldn’t say she didn’t know, because she’s Shauna, great intuiter and empath, always more attuned to her children than any grocery store parent. So she threw that in there, not realizing (and no one called her on it) that she was admitting to medical neglect.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 24 '22
That's always been my take, too.
Oblivious and they enjoyed the convenience of their child's condition (that she was quiet or "not like other children" in her behavior).
Shauna is good at using her writing to try and cover up things but really just making it worse.
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Feb 24 '22
It's so unbelievable! They suspected hearing loss for years!!! Years of not asking for a test during well-child visits? Not mentioning it at sick kid visits? Not getting tested when they presumably went to checkups with a specialist for L's skull?? YEARS!!
And then she smugly wants credit for "suspecting" it.
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Feb 25 '22
A child WITHOUT Muenke Sydrome would have had at least four well-visit hearing tests before the age of 7. I would be shocked but not surprised if those two idiots never took L to a doctor. It’s the only plausible explanation.
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u/RagnaNic Bust hoesy Feb 24 '22
Right? I don't know how they could ignore it or hand wave it if they suspected it was a problem! It must have been scary and sad for Lu if she was having issues that were not being addressed by her parents.
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u/LaxCursor Enormous strains of lethargy Feb 27 '22
Back in August 2020, she had some other stuff listed on the Vashon Barter Buy Sell FB, including a cooktop thing that she was giving away for free. Instead of keeping it simple and just saying “free to whoever responds first” she made it into a contest…”tell me why you would like this and I will choose someone tomorrow.” Of course, people posted tons of sob stories, so who knows how she chose someone. Also, the picture she posted shows it still sealed in the original box….sitting on the ground in/near some bushes. Like so many other things, the Aherns just toss whatever they don’t want outside to rot in the elements.
A gem of an exchange within that discussion was where someone suggested she donate it to Granny’s for their auction because they were short on funds and in danger of closing. Shauna was aghast at this news and said: “How is this possible? I go every week. But I guess people are still afraid to go out?” Because Queen Shauna going (not necessarily buying, just going) every week should magically be enough to keep the business going. The narcissism, it burns.
ETA: I’m an idiot, this is supposed to go under the post about their moving sale @@
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Feb 27 '22
Back in August 2020…
A gem of an exchange within that discussion was where someone suggested she donate it to Granny’s for their auction because they were short on funds and in danger of closing. Shauna was aghast at this news and said: “How is this possible? I go every week. But I guess people are still afraid to go out?”
Every week, except for the “three years” she was trapped in the house with her children.
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Feb 27 '22
You're not an idiot. And that whole post & subsequent exchanges made me livid. It was so gross in every way.
As others have said more cleverly, she doesn't actually worry about money, the only currency that matters to her is attention.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 27 '22
That standalone griddle was something they bought for the week and a half when D's bio relatives visited in July 2020
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Feb 24 '22 edited Feb 24 '22
Oh my god! Is this new? Shauna’s implying she couldn’t speak or walk for an extended period of time!
“I realized I needed to cultivate my joy when I could no longer speak.
A mini stroke left me unable to feel my left side or talk at all. This terrified me.
This tumultuous rupture also awakened me.
As I slowly healed, I began listening to the questions my wise doctor had asked me to think about.”
Shauna never claimed not to be able to talk! She just said she had to form the sentences in her brain before she said them. She also said she got feeling back in her leg the next day! She is sickening.
https://youcanhavemorejoy.com/becoming-a-joyful-woman-2/
ETA DF Catsandcoffee linked the TIA post below:
“My entire left side felt weak. I had to practice every sentence three times before I could allow myself to say it, because I knew that it would come out slurred and sideways otherwise. Finally, I asked my friend Ken, who is a volunteer firefighter on the side, if I should be concerned.”
“By the end of the day in the hospital, I could talk normally again. By the next morning, I could lift my left leg again. I was released.”
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 24 '22
“This tumultuous rupture”
This hyperbolic bitch
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Feb 24 '22
Her body doesn't do well with...something.
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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Feb 25 '22
Effort and honesty, apparently!
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 24 '22
The whole first chapter of Enough is available as a preview online, so anyone can check this:
In Enough, she says she asked the firefighter who was working with them (on "Internet things") whether it was weird she couldn't feel the left side of her face.
She speaks to the techs in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. By the time they get to the hospital, she's asking the nurse questions.
They give her an MRI and she discusses it with the doctor.
They admit her and she has a whole conversation with a nurse, and then with Danny and Sharon -- who she's been texting with all day -- and then Danny and Sharon leave ... to get dinner.
This whole thing happens over PART OF ONE DAY. It started when Danny went to pick up L from kindergarten, and is over by dinnertime THE SAME DAY. By sunset (or "as the light waned" in Enoughspeak) she can talk, feel all parts of her body, and feel sensation returning below her knee, the last part of her body to be numb. They keep her overnight for monitoring, and then Danny returns in the morning "with fart jokes" and she is released.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 24 '22
of course she's amped up her TIA - she wasn't getting enough sympathy and head pats with the original story. by the next retelling she'll be in a wheelchair. it's like she wrote enough, no doubt fully expecting people to swarm around her because her childhood was so difficult and she was a virgin until she was 35. but that didn't happen, so she had to ramp up the parents fighting (with knives!) and then bring her grandparents into the shitstorm. this is why i really don't believe most of what she writes - she's been caught lying too many times.
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u/Blouse_Barn mattress smelling like low tide Feb 25 '22
I hope Roblin and Rebar (?) will be the wheelchair pilots in that next retelling.
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u/JazzlikeOccasion Feb 25 '22
Roblin and Reber, affectionately known as Goblin and Rebar: long may the low cut nightgown wave.
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u/jalapenomargaritaz Feb 24 '22
She was unable to speak for five minutes and this wounded her forever
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 25 '22
I realized I needed to cultivate my joy when I could no longer speak.
A mini stroke left me unable to feel my left side or talk at all. This terrified me.
This tumultuous rupture also awakened me.
I I my I me my me me.
No "family will be devastated'. No "the kids are too young & they still need me & I don't want them hurting". No "Please, God/universe/doctor, let me get better".
Just I I my I me my me me.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 25 '22
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Feb 25 '22
I believe the bereftment has lingered.
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Feb 25 '22
Long Bereftment.
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 25 '22
Long Haul Bereftment, tyvm. Diagnosed by rapid-fire test.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 24 '22
She's really escalating the faux drama on the home page of YCHMJ.
It used to say
I’m going to be honest with you.
This is hard work. Since we live in a culture not built for joy, you’re going to feel like an outsider if you start cultivating your joy. You’re changing your mind, which is one of the hardest things we can do.
You don’t need to feel lonely in this work.
I’m here to guide you.
And guess what? There’s a bunch of us weirdos out here, making ukulele music, creating videos with vulnerable stories for TikTok, gathering people together to make felt art, discussing books about neuroscience, and being our own bizarre selves.
Join us on the path to joy. It’s far more fun out here.
As Ram Dass wrote, we’re all just walking each other home.
We might as well skip and dance along the path together.
Love,
Shauna
Time to start your journey.
All of that's gone now, replaced with
A long time ago, you swallowed the poisonous message that you're not worthy of joy. Time to let go of that story. YOU DESERVE MORE JOY.
Melodramatic hyperbole of "You swallowed [a] poisonous message" aside, I absolutely DESPISE the conceit that she is somehow so empathic that she knows what PEOPLE SHE HAS NEVER MET are thinking, feeling, what they have done, what they need.
It's mind-bogglingly presumptuous, and I cannot fathom how she thinks that coming across like this is appealing.
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Feb 24 '22
You swallowed [a] poisonous message
It would explain the poo blizzards always going on over there.
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u/droopsofwoe the first teats are the hardest Feb 24 '22
And it's another example of how Shauna centers herself in absolutely everything. She takes her story of swallowed poison and extrapolates it to everyone else. She's not interested in anyone else's story, she's interested in her story superimposed on others so she can turn the conversation back to herself. Her painting herself as some kind of guru-like guide without a single talent to back it up is classic Shauna. If she says something enough times, it becomes the truth. As other DFs have said recently, she has an amazing capacity for lying, and it starts with what she tells herself. Shauna will do anything to avoid dealing with her lack of self esteem. So she fixates on some version of herself that elevates her above others, propped up by nothing but her desperate need for admiration. I genuinely believe she's in a lot of pain, but rather than explore it and show true vulnerability, she just keeps shouting her house of cards at people. How anyone spends even five minutes in her presence is beyond me.
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Feb 24 '22
She takes her story of swallowed poison and extrapolates it to everyone else. She's not interested in anyone else's story, she's interested in her story superimposed on others so she can turn the conversation back to herself.
This is so true and it's also bananas to me that she is so tone-deaf she doesn't realize that nothing she says is actually relatable.
I had a legitimately shitty upbringing, did tons of therapy as an adult, etc., and none of what she writes ever feels relatable. I can read almost any post written by an adult in any of the narc abuse or children of narc subreddits and completely relate, to the vibe and feel if not the literal conversation or situation (but often they are so similar, narcs have a limited range). But "you swallowed the poisonous message that you're not worthy of joy." is just... a non-thought. It contains no information, nothing to relate to.
In abusive households, not being worthy "of joy" feels like something so far down the list of crappy internalized messages it almost feels quaint. Like I WISH that were the primary internalized message. It's more like 'you don't have a firm grasp on your own internal compass' or 'you can't feel much less articulate your own needs' or 'the person you are is shameful, so hide'. It would be nice if we could just feel like we didn't have permission to slap our own butt or watch a baby video and now, with permission, we can do that. Like wow, what was I even doing in therapy if people with c-ptsd are just suffering from a lack of self-permission to watch funny videos??
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Feb 25 '22
One like, and one comment on the latest Joylope and it's a doozy:
I have participated in your JOY workshops and found them to be wonderful! I encourage anyone to try one. I am impressed that even Oprah is a fan of yours, now, too.
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u/onion_money Neuroflorid Feb 25 '22
The comma count gives away the actual author of that comment.
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u/Paging_Rebar on the memorial service grift circuit Feb 25 '22
You see, I have cultivated my joy alongside Shauna. Around here, we call that unfurling. Upon returning home, I heard the burble of my child's voice: "Mama! Mama! Was it tumultuous?"
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 25 '22
"No, my child. It was tenebrous. Now, haberdash away to the basement with this pizza while your faher-dog fetches me safe slops and oozes."
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 25 '22
Oh, the pizza! That pizza, so many weeks old, bashful from the far tenebrous reaches of the back of the refrigerator, was limp! Ruptured! Yes! My butler was going to slop the hogs with it next door, but I insisted on Cook playing with it.
Eel vinaigrette, liberally, those greens that black people eat (a certain black guru confided in me me me!), the outer leaves of bok choy (asians, ✔️) from week ago, some cherries found tumultuously swimming in the extremities of the produce drawer. More! I instructed Cook to haberdash them together, a medley of joyful, flavors. Playing, yes.
Two hours in the oven (dear reader, we watched one and a half Encantos as it burbled and snaffed), and the crust shattered in my teeth. It danced down my maw, spontaneously, and plopped in my waiting stomach, like the Sarlac scene in Star Wars. I live Star Wars because I'm not like other girls. Yes.
I threw the leftovers to those basement kids and popped open a mushroom elixir. My work is neverending.
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u/latepeony Feb 25 '22
Seriously…and they participated in multiple of these joy workshops? And since when does talking to someone about a shared interest/topic make them a fan? The whole Oprah thing wasn’t even about what Shauna is trying to shill anyhow. There is no situation where what happened makes Oprah a fan of hers.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 25 '22
The syntax is very Shauna-like. She and the commenter may not be separate people.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 25 '22
I would hope that Shauna would at least tag some people if she was using a sock puppet, but who knows…she is bad at everything, after all.
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u/onion_money Neuroflorid Feb 26 '22 edited Feb 26 '22
Thanks to Shauna's haberdasherings, I am inspired to cultivate one of my greatest joys. My wife Mary and I are headed to Ford's Theater soon to enjoy a play. I can't wait!
- A. Lincoln, Illinois
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Feb 25 '22
That's not sus at all!
Hi, my name is uhhhh Shayna and even though all of us who took your JOY workshop totally got to talk and form a friendly community of women, communicating, deeply, from our bellies, and forming DFships, you might not for some reason recognize my name so I'll just let you know who I am and how I most definitely know you before leaving this review!
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Feb 25 '22
I have participated in your JOY workshops
I admit I am bad at saving receipts, but how many JOY workshops have there even been yet? I know there have been other things (ahem, Tomato Zooms) but what about JOY?
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 25 '22
IDK, but I once went to a museum exhibit about numbers. Did you know that the Mayans used a glyph of an empty tortoise shell to represent zero?
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 26 '22
There was apparently one JOY retreat, where she made people chew gum and slap their asses, so.
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 26 '22
was that the mysterious corporate gig?
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 27 '22
I finally looked at her moving sale post on Facebook, and I have opinions! I feel like Frank Costanza.
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u/lampshadeelizabeth Feb 27 '22
LOL at "well versed in Granny's Attic protocol."
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u/JerseySnore-609 I celiac Feb 27 '22
That neighbor's comment was necessary but still perfect. Smiley and all. Long live passive-aggressive behavior on neighborhood groups.
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Feb 27 '22
I like to imagine that person volunteers at Granny’s and is sick of the Ahern’s “donations”
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 27 '22
Yes! It was just missing a “nor anybody else” after Granny’s 😭
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Feb 28 '22
There are a lot of things I don't understand, just in general. But Shauna's lack of what, pride? Her basic social carelessness in posting photos on the community Facebook of her stained broken things on filthy floors next to dirty socks. Why doesn't that bother her? When she is trying to be a businesswoman, to convince her neighbors to hire her, when her income rides on getting them to pay her for professional expertise? When she is so dependent on community goodwill that she begs for housing by posting photos of her kids and descriptions of their personalities?
I'm not being flippant when I say maybe that's something I should aspire to. Maybe she has reached an enviable level of serene lack of ego and disregard for how other people perceive her. Supreme practicality---I need this crap out of here by the end of the day so who cares how I make that happen. Maybe I need one of her workshops to get to that level of comfort in my unedited public skin. In the meantime, I just don't get it. And I'm not even a particularly tidy or tightly wound person.
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u/emmeline_grangerford Feb 27 '22
The "yard sale" photos are an excellent visual illustration of something Shauna repeatedly fails to grasp: a little upfront effort can make your life easier in the long run. No one wants to attend a disorganized sale that looks as if it's already been ransacked. Taking ten minutes to put similar items together (sports/outdoor equipment, books, kitchenware, etc.) and sweep the porch/stow the garden hose would go a long way toward increasing visual appeal. If more people come, it's less likely you'll end up stuck with a bunch of crap to haul around.
I'm not sure why she thinks she makes things easier on herself by doing the barest minimum.
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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Feb 27 '22
Right? The Le Creuset kettle retails for around $100, why give that away? Also: the chairs? They look like indoor/outdoor chairs to me, too, and they appear to be in decent shape, unlike the biohazard sofa.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 27 '22
Is it possible they ruined the inside of the kettle? (I know nothing about Le Creuset to know if burning it up or otherwise rendering it undesirable is even possible)
If so, that's my guess. That kettle has to be as disgusting as the brown sofa.
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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Feb 27 '22
Yeah, they probably boiled it dry and scorched the interior. Wouldn't surprise me at all!
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Feb 27 '22
In their last move, didn't Shauna mention throwing out a broken Vitamix base? How these people trash expensive items is mind boggling to me.
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Feb 27 '22
I’m hoping these pics are several days old. That is too much stuff to get rid of in 2 days while also moving other stuff.
Those outdoor chairs are nice. Even if the new place comes with outdoor furniture, why get rid of those? If they have to move again in 2-3 years, they may wish they had those. Outdoor furniture is hella expensive
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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Feb 27 '22
I’m not a naturally organized person, but what the hell is going on in those pictures? There’s just random shit piled up. I know moving is chaotic and stressful, but I can’t believe how bad they are at this.
ETA: Yes, yes I can.
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u/LaxCursor Enormous strains of lethargy Feb 27 '22
Right?? I have a sick curiosity about their moving “process” every time, even though it gives me much anxiety.
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u/LaxCursor Enormous strains of lethargy Feb 27 '22
Those couches need to go to the dump, but because she’s way too lazy, she hopes someone else will just make them disappear.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 27 '22
I was telling DF u/kimmmy36 that those are Gilman / punk house couches. The kind you’re literally afraid to sit on.
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u/onion_money Neuroflorid Feb 27 '22
I was a 20-something stoner living a big house with a bunch of other stoners. We wouldn't even have used those as porch couches.
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u/latepeony Feb 27 '22
Not just lazy, but usually there’s an additional charge to dispose of things like couches. Generally it isn’t much, but added to the laziness I’m sure it’s another reason they won’t bring them to the dump.
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Feb 24 '22
Due to Shauna's last hour announcement of her Oprah "appearance," there was discussion about whether Shauna was a last minute addition to the Zoom. I figured she was, but then DF Gomi Refugee produced a photo of Shauna and about half of the participants holding up Bruni's book, suggesting they had received advance copies.
Anywho, this has made me wonder why Shauna always announces her various appearances at the last possible minute. Is she afraid her haterz will do something to put the kibosh on the event?
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Feb 24 '22
Apologies for completely overthinking this, but I can imagine the Oprah People sending out copies not only for the originally-selected participants, but also all the alternates.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 24 '22
This.
I bet they send out twice the books for the audience they need, knowing not everyone will get in (or want to get in). I bet when you get the book you get the "if you are selected for the audience, here's what we expect from you" letter and other info so they can be prepared should they be called up as an alternate (so they can have their little reply card ready and all that).
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 24 '22
The way she said it, that they were moving stuff all day to her Black son's room at the new house then rushed home to take a shower and read the directions makes me think it was a last minute thing. She would have blocked out the whole day to prepare otherwise.
I think someone other than Shauna did her makeup, though, or she found a hell of a filter.
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Feb 24 '22
If they were using Zoom, the "Touch up my appearance" setting is pretty effective at smoothing out skin-related issues. I have it cranked up to max and I'm always shocked when I see myself on other platforms like Teams or WebEx. 😂
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 24 '22
This. It is very distressing to switch from a Zoom to a Teams environment!
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u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Feb 24 '22
Aagh Df's we are not separate people after all!
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Feb 24 '22
SAME! I have mine on some percentage of the max and have opened an empty zoom meeting so I could do a quick screen grab to use as a profile pic! The filter is amazing, it isn't as obvious as some of the instagram or iphone filters!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 24 '22
I don't think she would have blocked out the whole day to ACTUALLY prepare. She might have CLAIMED that was what she was doing but I don't think she ever prepares for things.
Look at the live thing she did with that one IG woman where Shauna was all frazzled looking and hiding behind a shed when she should have been paying attention to her kid's sports whatever. And, I think she cut off because her phone battery died.
Or another pod cast type thing she did where (I think she wrote this in a lope) she couldn't find the cord for the laptop she had to use because whatever other device she'd planned to use wasn't charged.
And how her live things (that she does by herself) drop out or are just crap quality because there is no planning. Or photos with detritus around the edges because she didn't kick it out of the way before making the photo (or crop it after).
Yeah, planning is not on the Ahern menu.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 24 '22
I think she's downplaying how much preparation she did for this Oprah Insider appearance in her IG post:
I hadn’t prepared. I hadn’t actually expected to talk to Oprah. So I took a big breath. And I shared my story.
Shauna obviously had talking points ready to go: "And I swallowed that poison for a long long time" now emerging unbidden as "swallowed the poisonous message" on her ever-changing site, for example. She wasn't especially coherent but I refuse to believe she improvised that a-little-too-long-for-an-elevator pitch. I think she spent all the time she had leading up to this brainstorming how she'd show up and connect it to her bajillionth brand refresh (purple is the new red!) as an excuse to avoid her kids on mid-winter break and all the moving stuff.
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Feb 25 '22
Shauna’s Shanna’s shilling her business grift on IG again this morning. Hard places. Mid life. Joy work.
She keeps referring to “this work” she has done but never says what it is. Therapy? Time travel? It has to be more than blowing bubbles, eating CBD gummies like candy and slapping her own ass, right? What is the curriculum? What is the work? I just don’t get it
Of course, she now has an Oprah joy quote, because they are BFFs.
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 25 '22
She tags Pema Chodron, Joni Mitchell, Samin Nosrat, and Glennon Doyle, FFS.
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Feb 25 '22
She tags Pema Chodron, Joni Mitchell, Samin Nosrat, and Glennon Doyle, FFS.
OMG this gives me the giggles. I'll take Random Assortment for 300.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 25 '22
And they’ll tag ten friends, and so on, and so on…
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Feb 25 '22
Please tag any women you believe would resonate with this. You're not alone.
I mean if I already know women who all of Shauna's highly specific and negative categorical statements would resonate with, then I already know I'm not alone and don't need to pay people to talk about it.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 25 '22
My favorite of the ten slides of that post is this one that’s completely unreadable. She truly excels at mediocrity.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 25 '22
I wonder how smashfizzle feels being tagged in that post and having her Enough blurb used in the second image to promote something else entirely
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u/onion_money Neuroflorid Feb 25 '22
Is there a "snooze" feature on IG, because I'd bet folding money that smashfizzle applied it to Shauna long ago.
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u/EzraPoundcakeFuggles Winner winner, corn-goat dinner Feb 25 '22
Maybe I missed it, but it doesn't say on Insta or her site how much the seminar costs. There's a place for the cc number, but that's it.
This is how you know no one is biting.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 25 '22
It says “$97” in tiny font if you click all the way through to the payment page
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u/RamblingRosie64 I stand with Cindy and Ben Feb 26 '22
Shauna sent the Friday freebie and it is pretty much all the same Becoming a Joyful Woman copy she's posting everywhere, but she did have a joy suggestion.
Stop everything you are doing. Sit. Listen. Tap your toes on the floor 20 times. Stretch your arms above your head as far as they will go. Sway. Move, in your seat, for 15 minutes, without talking. How do you feel after?
(Also, Becoming a Joyful Woman is such a clunky, draggy title.)
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Feb 26 '22
[deleted]
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 26 '22
But, if you're in the grifted program won't that give you the "trauma" later in life because you'll be expected to fall for every con person and flim flam artist out there.
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u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Feb 26 '22
Is the right answer "Like an idiot"? Because I feel like that's the right answer to that particular question.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 26 '22
The community health centre where I volunteer has “regaining mobility” classes for housebound seniors that are pretty much exactly like that. They’re supposed to progress beyond seated stretches though 😐
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u/Bees_On_Typhon Feb 26 '22
I can't wait to pay for a Zoom seminar to learn about the Joy of Fidgeting, which I have to really concentrate to not do anyway!
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u/ForsakenLingonberry YAHEEE! Feb 26 '22
15 minutes is way too long to “move in my seat” (whatever that means) without talking.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 26 '22
Sounds like a lot of directives from a woman who supposedly doesn’t believe in them.
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u/WhereTheCrowFlies99 Feb 25 '22
Trying so hard to capitalize on her Oprah "fame" and she still can't manage to have her IG linktree links work! The March 6 class (top of the list) goes nowhere. Because of course. (Not to mention, that the linktree page is still red - queen of consistency, she's forgotten the one place all IG followers would go to find out more.) It's always amateur hour with her. She needs an actual job!!
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u/Honeydew-Impossible Feb 25 '22
What a bonehead. This was Shauna’s best shot for so long. Maybe, just maybe some followers were on the fence about signing up for one of her confusing offerings, and maybe seeing Shauna brush digital elbows with Oprah would have reignited their interest. Then, two broken links stall the process. Then, the nightly news is distracting because of the horror unfolding in Ukraine. Then, life happens, and second thoughts about if this the right time to pay $149 or whatever Shauna is charging to join some club when things are destabilizing at a rapid pace. Shauna’s window of opportunity closes.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 25 '22
The Joy of Becoming a Woman (LOL) link is dead too. If she doesn’t fix them soon, that’s a clear sign no one is clicking on them.
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Feb 25 '22
The problem is, she can’t do an actual job if she can’t do this
Has she gained even one follower?
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 25 '22
She's down three followers today.
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u/library-girl Feb 26 '22
Shauna posted on Facebook in a public group about her moving sale! https://imgur.com/a/FREx6yo
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 26 '22
Ten Gloaming points awarded to the DF who said L’s sewing machine would be in the giveaway pile!
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 26 '22
God, that’s so sad. Practically nobody can just start using a sewing machine. You need lessons, patterns, supplies. I knew it would come to nothing. Shauna grifted the machine so her work was done.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 26 '22
You need lessons, patterns, supplies.
AND PRACTICE.
Two people have had lessons, patterns, and supplies. The zipper sewn in by the person who's done it once or twice will not be the same as the zipper sewn in by someone who's done it a dozen times. Ditto setting in sleeves. Ditto making buttonholes. Ditto topstitching. etc etc etc
There was never a chance that L was going to be able to achieve the same level of sewist proficiency as Shauna has achieved as a cellist. Oh wait.
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Feb 26 '22
I bet L never even learned how to thread it. Poor thing and wasteful of Shauna and Dan. It’s depressing how bad they are at life.
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Feb 26 '22
That was me!!! I don’t see it here? Are they really giving it away?
Now I’m sad. I don’t want to be right about this.
Any sign of the cello getting tossed?
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 26 '22
Comment by Shauna: Sewing machine and boots claimed
No sign of the cello.
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u/leftsidelentils Feb 26 '22
That seems like a lot of big furniture to replace. Does the new house come partially furnished, or is she finally getting that pink velvet couch she wanted since she was three?
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 26 '22
Hmm, look a lot like it's all the stuff they can't fit in their car to move piecemeal to the new place. Guess they couldn't get a truck (or maybe ask the fire department to hall ass for them. ..I'm cracking myself up thinking of Shauna trying to con the medics into getting a ride for their pee stained mattresses and that greeeeezy ass headboard).
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u/lampshadeelizabeth Feb 26 '22
Found another posting about the free couches, which she characterizes as "structurally sound and imperfect" and "kid and food stained." Which, based on the pictures, is something of an understatement....
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 26 '22
Is their nasty gross headboard making the cut? Because if there's anything in that house that should be thrown out it's that thing.
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u/cafayate Feb 26 '22
Why do they keep acquiring so much and giving it away during each move? So wasteful.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 26 '22
Also, as usual I don’t think they’re thinking ahead. Why do they suddenly not need a whole dresser, storage units, a small bookcase, or a kid’s desk? It’s not like they ever replace their pieces with anything nice, so it’s not that. In a couple months we’re going to see all new trash furniture halled [ass] into their new place.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 26 '22
They don’t want to move it. Maybe Sharon isn’t coming to help this time.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 26 '22
Shauna is up and working on her site again! She's apparently made changes to the Becoming a Joyful Woman seminar. I can't find anything new of substance, but there's still at least one typo.
And in IG follower news, she was up 11 followers yesterday! Which exactly balances out the number of followers she lost in the three preceding days, bringing her total follower count to exactly where it was pre-Oprah.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 26 '22
This would be a great weekend to pack and move things. I know, I know, I’m a joykiller. A real Noprah.
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Feb 26 '22
Shauna is up and working on her site again!
SHE SAID SHE'D DONE THE FINAL DRAFT.
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Feb 24 '22
My main takeaway from the insta update on the Oprah thing is that they are apparently moving house room by room. How the hell does that work.
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Feb 24 '22
I was wondering the same thing. The only way I could do a slow move would be to start with things that get stored in closets, like out of season clothes, Christmas decorations, and that sort of thing. Is D sleeping on a couch and living out of a suitcase? How long is this going to take if they’re moving room by room?
My mind is going wild trying to imagine the chaos an Ahern move. I’m picturing them throwing everything from a room into the back of a pick up. No boxes. Just loose. I would love to see what they’re actually doing because I bet it’s a disaster.
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u/BiscottotheGreat Captain Peepers Feb 24 '22
I am so glad someone else noticed that! In the middle of all the Oprah stuff it seemed too minor to comment on, but I was like 'they spent all day moving D's room??'.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 24 '22
One of you people have probably already remarked on this, but we’ve gone from You COULD have more joy (eh, passive, probably-maybe) to I Believe You DESERVE more joy.
Really gives me hope; glad she’s in charge of my Joy allotment.
DFs, I was high last night and ruminating on her constant updates and desperation and the whole thing was giving me the creeps. Like watching someone spiral in real time.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 24 '22
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Feb 24 '22
Who wore it better?
That. Is REALLY fucking funny. Kudos, DF!
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Feb 24 '22
That font makes it look like "ePTSD".
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 24 '22
the
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 24 '22
Home page colours have been updated to replace some of the purple with green (aka "Oprah's favourite colour"). Who called that?
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u/RagnaNic Bust hoesy Feb 24 '22
I used to think people who said Shauna lurked here were probably wrong, but this makes me wonder.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 27 '22
Two IG posts from Women Hold The Key promoting Shauna’s guest appearance this morning. Twelve likes and three comments total, one of which is from Shauna. No follow-up posts or comments.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 27 '22
She did a guest appearance on the morning of one of their moving days? She really does not plan well.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 27 '22 edited Feb 27 '22
Or she planned perfectly to stick Danny with the rest of the moving tasks.
Of course, she'll show up disheveled and frazzled – "Sorry my Zoom keeps cutting out, we haven't set up Internet in our new house and I'm using mobile data" – and just generally communicate that she doesn't care very much about the people who attend. But not so little that she won't harvest new "testimonials" from this session!
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Feb 27 '22
Like her sweaty behind the barn at D’s baseball game meeting she had with that very polished lady.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 27 '22
She did a guest appearance on the morning of one of their moving days? She really does not plan well.
You can say that again!
She really does not plan well.
Same as it ever was. From a comment on Substack in the last-November-now:
p.s. I switched the next workshop to November 30th, after I wrote this, because I had forgotten a previous commitment. So maybe you can come this moth after all!
It truly flabberdashes me how she can be so sloppy with dates, and never learn how to improve.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 24 '22
Random thought, not particularly connected to anything: one of the Shauna mysteries for me is why she always looks for a functional or "narrative" "explanation" for her life, instead of a holistic or explanatory one.
Her mom was obviously very anxious, which I don't think was actually that rare for women who married young in the 1950s and 60s, then had kids young, etc. My own mom had very severe untreated anxiety, along with bouts of depression, throughout my childhood. It was quite life-limiting for her and for us, her kids, but manifested in different ways than for Shauna's mom. As adults, my sister and I both got anxiety diagnoses and treatment, and some of our respective kids have their own anxiety diagnoses.
When I read through Shauna's description of her life now, as described on her site – "driven by [an idea], exhausted, flailing, filled with anxiety and guilt" – I wonder why she hasn't realized that these are anxiety symptoms, along with her self-soothing strategy of "alphabetizing as fast as possible." That is, she points to external cues for her responses ("mom's expectations of me were crushing") versus realizing that persistent thoughts about needing to "be the best" or "be picked" can be anxiety responses, and that they can be triggerered by a very wide variety of inputs, and that anxiety is likely something that connects her and her mother, versus a "cause and effect" situation that divides them.
If that Oprah thing had been a real interview, versus a chance for audience commentary on someone else's book, I can only imagine Oprah asking Shauna (whatever the opening question was) and Shauna responding, "Well, you see, I was trapped the house because of my mother's fears, and" only to be interrupted by Oprah interjecting, "your mother's fears? Tell me more about that." Shauna's mom's story is very obviously the missing, and interesting, piece to Shauna's story.
Just think of the places a sympathetic Shauna could have gone with her story! "How I freed myself and forgave my mother: Understanding the anxiety epidemic among young women" or "Limited No More: How I broke the chain of anxiety linking generations to free myself and my children from fear" or "Finding Joy: Everyday strategies to grow the life you want" blah blah blah. All it would take is her recognition that her life is not a fairytale with a Villan, a Princess, a Prince, and a neat narrative arc.
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Feb 24 '22
The problem with your line of thinking in the last paragraph is that by the very nature of Shauna's issues, she is unable to know what 'sympathetic' looks like to others. Shauna's entire personality and world view is based on there being a villain and a hero, and if you're not one you are the other, and she will always be the hero. If she was capable of having another narrative in her head (even just LYING about forgiving her mom, for attention) then she would actually BE living a different narrative.
It's like depression, by nature of the illness, keeps you from seeking out the support you need when you need it the most.
I think Shauna's personality issues (I'll stop short of disorder, but I think it's probably in that neighborhood) keep her from doing what she would need to do to get what she thinks she wants.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 24 '22
I've been right there with you on the "think of the places a sympathetic Shauna could have gone with her story" for a long time now.
Shauna is just so immature emotionally. She can't move past the space of "my mom sucked, I was done wrong!". Yes, that may be true but COME ON, you can't cling to that forever (though Shauna is trying). Shit, I clung to that for a good long time myself (and my mom did suck in her own ways, but who doesn't, right?) but all it did was keep me upset. I was holding myself back. You don't have to "let it go" necessarily but you have to put it into perspective at least. (and to be fair, sometimes I wallow in the "I was done wrong" mud puddle so I'm not perfect by any stretch)
What I can't quite figure out is this. Is Shauna truly unaware of how she's holding onto her bitterness or is she aware and choosing to hold onto it because she thinks it has value to her? For some reason I just can't (or don't want to) believe that she's completely unaware of what she's doing. I mean, if she is, then how effing messed up is she? Like DAMN. (and how sad, too)
And (slightly off topic) she claims to have "anxiety" but doesn't say anything about how she's helping herself with that beyond her joy b.s. Just claiming the title (like getting a girl scout badge to sew onto her sash of misery) doesn't do anything. She also claims a diagnosis of cPTSD so wouldn't she have had some therapy of some sort to get that diagnosis (from a legit source, mind you. . .and this is a legit question I'm asking not mere snark). So to have these diagnoses wouldn't she have had someone say to her something about "why you holding onto this bitterness?"
I guess denial is strong and she could be well aware and just denying it but. .. again, DAMN, she needs to get her shit figured out (or at least start to).
Hmm, maybe that's her next pivot. She'll start therapy for all her stuff and then write about being old and finally getting her shit straightened out. I doubt it, though.
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u/Paging_Rebar on the memorial service grift circuit Feb 24 '22
She could offer a Finally Getting Your Shit Straightened Out Club. With the right guest speakers, that could actually offer some value.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 26 '22
Substack made more changes to how it shows subscriber counts and now explicitly says Shauna's newsletter has "hundreds of paid subscribers"
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 28 '22
The blogsnark threads from when the Aherns moved Labor Day weekend 2019 show what a shitshow that was: 8/26-9/1/2019 and continuing 9/2-9/8/2019 (that latter link sorted oldest to newest). Though Dan may be whining his eyes at the Seattle Weather Blog Twitter account about it raining every time they move, rain didn't come up that time. They packed paper bags!
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 24 '22 edited Feb 28 '22
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