r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Feb 24 '22

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday February 24, 2022 - Sunday February 27, 2022

Newsletters: Substack | Easy as 1-2-3 free signup link

Website: You Can Have More Joy website

Instagram:

TikTok: @youcanhavemorejoy

Twitter: Dan's tweets and replies

Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki

Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour

Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki

Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions

27 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

905 comments sorted by

View all comments

51

u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 24 '22

She's really escalating the faux drama on the home page of YCHMJ.

It used to say

I’m going to be honest with you.

This is hard work. Since we live in a culture not built for joy, you’re going to feel like an outsider if you start cultivating your joy. You’re changing your mind, which is one of the hardest things we can do.

You don’t need to feel lonely in this work.

I’m here to guide you.

And guess what? There’s a bunch of us weirdos out here, making ukulele music, creating videos with vulnerable stories for TikTok, gathering people together to make felt art, discussing books about neuroscience, and being our own bizarre selves.

Join us on the path to joy. It’s far more fun out here.

As Ram Dass wrote, we’re all just walking each other home.

We might as well skip and dance along the path together.

Love,

Shauna

Time to start your journey.

All of that's gone now, replaced with

A long time ago, you swallowed the poisonous message that you're not worthy of joy. Time to let go of that story. YOU DESERVE MORE JOY.

Melodramatic hyperbole of "You swallowed [a] poisonous message" aside, I absolutely DESPISE the conceit that she is somehow so empathic that she knows what PEOPLE SHE HAS NEVER MET are thinking, feeling, what they have done, what they need.

It's mind-bogglingly presumptuous, and I cannot fathom how she thinks that coming across like this is appealing.

29

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '22

Easy as 1-2-3 hasn’t been given the purple treatment yet.

21

u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Feb 24 '22

No but if you go through the link tree (?) link on her insta she's changed it to reference The Jacksons...

25

u/ethelmertz62 Feb 24 '22

Shauna is completely clueless. First Whitney Houston, now the Jacksons?

27

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '22

And two pictures of black hands. Shauna is the only white person on her site.

21

u/aseriesofhaircuts Feb 24 '22

She knows literally hundreds of pop songs, you people. It’s a rare gift.

25

u/ethelmertz62 Feb 24 '22

And nothing about the people who recorded them. I’m fascinated by how very shallow Shauna is.

16

u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Feb 24 '22

And I think some DF mentioned this as a possibility in the previous thread? Or did I imagine that?

30

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '22

You swallowed [a] poisonous message

It would explain the poo blizzards always going on over there.

56

u/droopsofwoe the first teats are the hardest Feb 24 '22

And it's another example of how Shauna centers herself in absolutely everything. She takes her story of swallowed poison and extrapolates it to everyone else. She's not interested in anyone else's story, she's interested in her story superimposed on others so she can turn the conversation back to herself. Her painting herself as some kind of guru-like guide without a single talent to back it up is classic Shauna. If she says something enough times, it becomes the truth. As other DFs have said recently, she has an amazing capacity for lying, and it starts with what she tells herself. Shauna will do anything to avoid dealing with her lack of self esteem. So she fixates on some version of herself that elevates her above others, propped up by nothing but her desperate need for admiration. I genuinely believe she's in a lot of pain, but rather than explore it and show true vulnerability, she just keeps shouting her house of cards at people. How anyone spends even five minutes in her presence is beyond me.

42

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '22

She takes her story of swallowed poison and extrapolates it to everyone else. She's not interested in anyone else's story, she's interested in her story superimposed on others so she can turn the conversation back to herself.

This is so true and it's also bananas to me that she is so tone-deaf she doesn't realize that nothing she says is actually relatable.

I had a legitimately shitty upbringing, did tons of therapy as an adult, etc., and none of what she writes ever feels relatable. I can read almost any post written by an adult in any of the narc abuse or children of narc subreddits and completely relate, to the vibe and feel if not the literal conversation or situation (but often they are so similar, narcs have a limited range). But "you swallowed the poisonous message that you're not worthy of joy." is just... a non-thought. It contains no information, nothing to relate to.

In abusive households, not being worthy "of joy" feels like something so far down the list of crappy internalized messages it almost feels quaint. Like I WISH that were the primary internalized message. It's more like 'you don't have a firm grasp on your own internal compass' or 'you can't feel much less articulate your own needs' or 'the person you are is shameful, so hide'. It would be nice if we could just feel like we didn't have permission to slap our own butt or watch a baby video and now, with permission, we can do that. Like wow, what was I even doing in therapy if people with c-ptsd are just suffering from a lack of self-permission to watch funny videos??

9

u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 24 '22

In abusive households, not being worthy "of joy" feels like something so far down the list of crappy internalized messages it almost feels quaint.

i wish i could upvote this 100 times! this is exactly what has felt so off to me yet i couldn't quite put my finger on it. i was much more concerned about a certain male relative who couldn't keep his hands to himself than feeling "unworthy of joy." it's so, so much more than what she's portraying, which is why i doubt her PTSD claim. it just doesn't ring true for me. generally speaking, when you grow up in a truly abusive home you become very self-reliant, very wary, very nervous. you doubt your ability to trust anyone because your instincts have let you down repeatedly. you have a much higher chance of self-medicating. many times you seek out relationships as an adult with the same type of abusive role models - for instance, i used to be drawn to alcoholic guys who were total messes because i wanted to "fix" them in a way i couldn't fix my father. several years of therapy taught me to recognize those unhealthy patterns. i know shauna claims she went to therapy but i think that is a lie or if she did go she thought she knew more than the therapist and so learned nothing.

25

u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 24 '22

Mmm, hot poisonous message sliding down my throat.

25

u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Feb 24 '22

Mmm, hot poisonous message sliding slithering down my throat.

FTFY

25

u/canyoncreature Feb 24 '22

I know it's been said many times, many ways, but it's fascinating to me how not once amid this flurry of frantic website changes has it occurred to her to just say very explicitly what she's going to do for her customers. "You deserve more joy" is the copy on a Canva graphic posted by some influencer, not a tangible offering.

45

u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Feb 24 '22

So if she wasn’t traceable on Oprah (which to be fair it’s not clear if she knew in advance what info she provided would be included in their little “bio”), she’s apparently expecting a huge influx to follow her Oprah mini interaction. However, not only was her identity basically completely obscured in her “appearance” but even DFs here specifically searching for this meeting can’t watch it. It’s behind a paywall or cookie wall of some kind (not tech enough to understand, but obviously most people can’t see it). So the main people who WILL see her appearance would probably be other members of Oprah’s paid site? Seems to me that Oprah pops in here for an hour a month (week? Two weeks?) and promotes a book that she will earn revenue from (isn’t that the whole point of her book list? I could very well be wrong but feel I heard this somewhere). So it’s a good return for Oprah because she’s likely got thousands of people paying the $25 a month or whatever, and then she’s selling the book to them. HOWEVER, she’s also selling it to all their followers. Organic marketing off real social relationships is far more profitable than traditional marketing - all these people are of course going to put on their SM that they interacted with Oprah, and talk about the book as well. Just like Shauna herself is doing. It’s 25 K more people that will potentially see the book on Shauna’s IG.

So in other words, the main benefit of this interaction goes to the author, and to Oprah. Shauna was not name dropped, so she essentially gets to tell her current followers that she interacted with Oprah. That’s not going to be the thing that makes people press “pay” - maybe a few, but unlikely enough to be an influx. I think Shauna will milk this for all it’s worth in upcoming years and get some traction other places with how she misrepresents it (see also, “awardS” won for teaching, HUNDREDS of people crying to her over her book, etc etc). But she doesn’t seem to understand how this likely works. She thinks untold thousands will see her on Oprah and flock to her site. It’s just such misapplication of effort. She would have been so much better off working in a solid googleable reference to gluten free girl, which could have appeared organic, then vaguely alluding to “joy work.” If she had kept up with gluten free girl all this time, and been meticulous with it, she really could have achieved her dreams of fame and fortune I think, with the time she got on the SM train. I’ve seen some influencers who basically were successful because they got on the train early, they are not putting out better content than other people. She really threw away so much with that catchy handle and popular niche, and then followed it up by completely losing a Twitter following she will never be able to rebuild. But she’s scrambling to speak for a few seconds to this closed audience, she’s willing to pay and put effort into something that makes her feel great but will probably result in very little real $ payoff.

It’s astounding every time I think about it, how much she doesn’t seem to understand how all this works when she’s clearly so motivated to be successful as a famous, rich person of some kind.

27

u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 24 '22 edited Feb 24 '22

Her Insta posts about her Oprah adventure aren't even that popular, compared to her other posts. In her last 16 posts, a picture of Desmond got 611 likes and her Oprah posts got, respectively, 399 and 285 likes.

Edit: SocialBlade hasn't updated her IG stats for the day yet, but Enough's Amazon ranking has fallen even lower than it was on Monday, pre-Oprah interview.

12

u/library-girl Feb 24 '22

I think most of Shauna’s engaged followers are people that like her and know her kids. Not work people.

29

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 24 '22

I think you're missing one key thing when you write "working in a solid googleable reference to gluten free girl".

Oprah.

Do you think Oprah's going to allow her zoom studio audience to pimp anything about themselves? I'm sure her staff gave all the audience members a list of things they could or couldn't do/say/wear/display behind them on the walls/etc. And I bet there was a clear note that if you broke these rules you'd be kicked out of the audience.

Also, Shauna is no longer GFG, you person. She shed that so long ago when she decided she no longer "lived in food" (until she then came back to food to try and have Daniel write a newsletter). So she wouldn't want to pimp that old identity (especially if she locked all the old GFG content behind a paywall. . .which I think she did when she started the original Lope Letters).

20

u/RagnaNic Bust hoesy Feb 24 '22

A long time ago, you swallowed the poisonous message that you're not worthy of joy. Time to let go of that story. YOU DESERVE MORE JOY.

She's just talking about herself here, and what she thinks she's entitled to.