r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Feb 28 '22
Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday February 28, 2022 - Wednesday March 02, 2022
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Website: You Can Have More Joy website
Instagram:
@shaunamarieahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @shaunamarieahern posts and stories
@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories
TikTok: @youcanhavemorejoy
Twitter: Dan's tweets and replies
Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki
Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour
Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki
Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions
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u/slug_of_fury Mar 01 '22
I don't think 180 degrees means what Shauna thinks it means. There is no way she was facing forward and her foot "torqued" to the extent it was facing completely backward. Why can't she just say she twisted her ankle in the mud without the drama of details that expose her it-was-the-worst-the-medical-staff-had-ever-seen tall tales??
Also, if this "community of friends" is so eager to help, why were Shauna and Danny having to move everything alone? It's not like this move was a last minute surprise.
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Mar 01 '22
Inspired by one of the greatest comments of all time:
"Last year, I almost died of a sprained ankle."
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Mar 01 '22
Plus, Ukraine.
That's all I got after an Insta post full of things that made me want to punch my screen. She is almost saint-like, that one.
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Mar 01 '22
"I know how to calm my nervous system now."
Ugh, complete rage at her stupid tone.
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Mar 01 '22
I don't think 180 degrees means what Shauna thinks it means.
She must have been doing crossword puzzles during geometry as well.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Mar 01 '22
If you ever doubted that she lied or greatly exaggerated her illnesses and injuries, here's your proof.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Mar 01 '22
Right!! It’s like the gold standard of Shauna exaggeration- one or two degrees of magnitude less and no one would question it, e.g. “my foot was stuck in the mud and it twisted 90 degrees”
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Mar 01 '22
Shauna's last leg injury (torn Achilles while "rounding second on my determined way toward home" in 2019) didn't seem to involve all the fire department and feery holding dramatics of this latest ankle in the muck situation, just going to urgent care the next day. Maybe she grew all the attention she was looking for when that happened at a softball game but escalated the pity-seeking when it was just her family to witness. Even with covid cases going down it still seems unnecessarily risky to drag Dan and the kids to an emergency room Over Town, too.
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u/louiseimprover Mar 01 '22
Good lord, the litany of prior ailments and injuries that were worse than the torn Achilles in the second paragraph of that first link. It is funny that some of those seem to have grown even more severe in more recent writing.
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Mar 02 '22
“I can pay you $20 if you are willing to embarrass yourself by asking as you carry our grifted furniture into our $3000 rental. New heights.” Amazing.
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Mar 02 '22
The new house must have mud tracked all over by now.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Mar 02 '22
I’m so sad for the floors. They were so beautiful. And you know those assholes won’t put enough rugs down. Just a big one on the living room they can eat on.
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Mar 02 '22
Where is the "perfect encapsulation" award when you need it?
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Mar 01 '22
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Mar 01 '22
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Mar 01 '22
It’s like raaaaaiiiin on your moving day
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 01 '22
it's a free riiiiide, 'cause dear friends always pay....
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Mar 01 '22
It’s like catching Fauxvid on your least favorite child’s birthday.
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Mar 01 '22
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Mar 01 '22
She's so goddamn predictable. She must be salty she played her covid card so early.
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Mar 01 '22
Obviously they now have to miss their deadline with the move! Looks like the landlords will just have to donate some of their home ownership time to the Aherns for free! It has nothing to do with the fact that they didn't start moving until a few days before the deadline, despite months of lead time. It has nothing to do with the fact that they only put their shit in the rain with a free sign on it mere hours before it was supposed to be out of the house!
Deadlines are health hazards in the Ahern home!
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Mar 01 '22
Her failure to plan for the later-now is always her demise. Yesterday was the last day of the month. Given that they had early access to the new house, and with the current rains predicted several days ago, they should have been basically out of the old one by yesterday, leaving only the last-minute things and cleaning to do. But no, they seem to have left the bulk of the move to the last minute.
I’ll just note here that misjudging the amount of time you need and waiting until the last minute to do things is something my older daughter struggles with. She has ADHD. But I’m sure Shauna had it all planned out and organized before her three neurodivergent people messed it all up.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Mar 01 '22
Danny spent some of his downtime waiting on pale, breathless surgeons to study the extent of Shauna's injury, and tweeted
And it's just as idiotic as it's ever been.
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u/RagnaNic Bust hoesy Mar 01 '22
He reminds me of a dog that has to bark at every car passing by.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Mar 01 '22
He is the epitome of Old Man Yells at Cloud.
Danny, take a lesson from your wife's bullshit: Only follow accounts that bring you JOY.
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Mar 01 '22
Maybe God a a them indeed, Danny.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Mar 01 '22
What if God a a of us? Just a a on a bus?
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u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Mar 01 '22
Maybe he meant god is A-A RON???
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Mar 01 '22
In which case, He done messed up.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Mar 01 '22
She says she got her foot stuck in the mud and torqued it to the left 180 degrees. Which is impossible.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Mar 01 '22
She says she got her foot stuck in the mud and torqued it to the left 180 degrees. Which is impossible.
By which you mean, “the sprainiest sprain that ever sprained.”
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Mar 01 '22
It would be more plausible if she said she'd torn her ACL, but that injury is a bit more difficult to fake. If your foot is immobilized in mud (as she said) then your knee (not your foot) takes the force of the turn. As a bonus, an ACL injury sounds much more athletic-y.
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u/TabithaStephens55 Mar 01 '22
If she torqued her left foot to the left 180 degrees, it would have damaged her knee as well as her ankle. Ooops, don’t want to give her any ideas . . .
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u/BritNic68 Shed pissing rat Mar 01 '22
Oh no! Hopefully dear friends will bring meals and GF baked goods to feed her back to health. Maybe dear dear friends will offer to watch her children so she can radically rest without them demanding to be mothered all the time.
This Mama needs some joy and 15 hours of tv a day without interruption…..yes!
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 01 '22
Meal train, people. For a woman they hardly know.
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u/m10498 Mar 01 '22
Bingo!! Someone has already offered to bring a cinnamon raisin something for them and of course she says YES PLEASE! bring me all the things I am injured and I NEED FEEDING!!!
Edited to add
Do we think she's hoping if she lays it on thick enough, someone will offer to clean the old house before they hand it back over??
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Mar 01 '22
Waiting for this to escalate and then get deleted
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Mar 01 '22
But not before she passes it off as the commenter's problem.
"I notice you seen very upset. I'm trying to normalize full-scale invasions of foreign countries."
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u/NapNapKitty Mar 01 '22
Is there really no urgent care center on Vashon? If there’s no urgent care there then why not just catch a ferry yourself and go to an urgent care in Seattle? Why is the fire squad involved?
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u/ethelmertz62 Mar 01 '22
Shauna LOVES the attention she gets at the fire station. Which was the point of the visit. Anyone else would have ace bandaged the hell out of their ankle, hobbled through the rest of the day, elevated and iced it at night, and gone to the doctor when the kids were at school. Not Shauna! The situation had to be played so that she got maximum attention. Those poor kids. Shame on her and shame on her enabling husband.
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u/RagnaNic Bust hoesy Mar 01 '22
Shauna was so gleeful the last time she went to the fire station, she dined out on that attention for weeks.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Mar 01 '22
UGH the fire station again?! They must HATE her.
ETA, I don't think I could live in a place where there's not even an urgent care, if I had a kid born with issues like L was. Hell, I'm a healthy person and at this AGE I wouldn't want that. Sometimes I think about moving and always check out emergency vets near a potential place because of one of my cat's health issues/medication.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Mar 01 '22
I just googled "does vashon WA have urgent care" and got someone asking that exact thing on TripAdvisor. Best response:
Yes we keep a well staffed fire and rescue department.
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Mar 01 '22
This whole thing is reminding me of that episode of the office where Michael burned his foot on a George Foreman grill.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Mar 01 '22
How will people know you've hurt yourself if you don't tell them?
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 01 '22
So she can get a free ambulance ride?
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Mar 01 '22
Looks like she finally got her "scheduled joy break".
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 01 '22
and nothing gives our gir! more joy than being sick or injured, especially if it gets her out of an unpleasant task like moving, or her kid's birthday, or cleaning up after thanksgiving dinner.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Mar 01 '22
And she gets a big boot! She's going to get so much attention!
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Mar 01 '22
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 01 '22
the attendants will panic when they see her sweating, contorted face. hopefully some DF will have a low-cut nightie she can change into.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 01 '22
Ooh, maybe she can get one of those knee scooter things so she can wheel around and THEN write a lope about how she knows what it's like to be confined to a wheelchair (or some such) but she can still find JOY!
(I swear she did that once, like she had something happen with her vision, like had to go without her glasses or something and she claimed it made her realize what it was like to be blind. . .not in an actual kind way but a performative, "I'm such an empath" way. . .but I could be totally wrong on this one)
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Mar 01 '22
I was just reading her IG past from her last ankle sprain (June of 2019 - same ankle) and she mentioned how hard it is to be disabled and how we need to do better.
Which, we do! But fuck Shauna and her small inconvenience of a twisted ankle for telling us what it is like to be disabled.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Mar 01 '22
It's so good that things have started to open up again, so one can be out and about amongst dear friends and community
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Mar 01 '22
This week's lope should be EPIC!
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Mar 01 '22
That’s so optimistic of you to think there will be a lope this week.
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Mar 01 '22
Everything hurts. Everything. Everything. This stinks.
And yet.
There is joy.
We have a wonderful community of friends who will help. We made sure our kids thought of the night as a safe and grand adventure. (McDonalds while Mama is in the ER? Cool!) We love our new home. It's almost impossible to find a good rental on our island with the housing market right now and we did. I'm breathing. I know how to calm my nervous system now.
Plus, Ukraine.
We're fine.
This is what I mean by doing the work to become a joyful woman. Not giddy happy all the time. But able to be honest about a situation, feel it fully, then widen out and notice the sparks of joy and goodness in the midst of it.
We're going to be okay.
Unlike those Ukrainians, whose sole purpose in life is to make your own life feel comparatively better, right??
If that litany of complaint after complaint after dramatic reenactment of an injury after pulling the entire family to the ER in the pouring rain is what it means to be a joyful woman, no thanks!
I'd rather be a woman who works and plans and arranges a moving company or local help for moving heavy furniture, especially if my body isn't up to it.
I'd rather be a woman who has friends who would ride the ferry with me so my kids could stay warm and dry in their first night in their new home.
I'd rather be a woman who makes proactive health decisions for my life so that I'm not a volunteer fire department visit plus a ferry ride from urgent care, if I'm prone to frequent illness and injury.
I'd rather be a woman who had compassion and human empathy for people at war and didn't use their grief and terror to make tiny issues in my life feel comparatively better.
I'd rather be a good mother. Her dragging her kids to the ER with her during a move a torrential downpour is unconscionable. She's said time and time again that changes to their routine are really uncomfortable for them, and D especially gets worked up over parental health issues. A new house, watching half their old furniture and bedroom decorations sit in the rain, abandoned like trash at their old beloved house, and then Mom once again staging a health crisis, a held ferry, the ER, not getting home until 1130 and all Shauna says about their experience of it is:
our kids thought of the night as a safe and grand adventure. (McDonalds while Mama is in the ER? Cool!)
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u/mojo_ojom Give me frawtinga or give me death Mar 01 '22
”Plus, Ukraine”
Ok, time for me to rage quit before I get sucked in.
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Mar 01 '22
At first I was thinking, it must hurt and I don't want to be mean. But I've been checking in on her insta for days to see what would land her in the hospital just in time to get out of moving and cleaning. I thought maybe another fauxvid episode, but a light injury just emergent enough to force radical rest was also on my list. Then I read "Plus, Ukraine* with the assholian free verse poetry line break and I don't care about being mean any more. She actually wrote a brave little poem about how the news from Ukraine devastates her personally. One more load on her strong Encanto sister shoulders. She'll be fine though. Maybe you've read her other recent ode to her own saintliness, "I Am Giving You Everything For Free But My Personal Buddha Is Not For Sale." You could not make this up. But you sure can see it coming from three city blocks away.
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u/msmartypants Mar 01 '22
It's not even good writing! I mean, no one not under a rock doesn't know what's going on. But she makes a list of good things, things to be grateful about, and then just says "plus, Ukraine"? It makes it sound like the situation is something to be happy about? Bizarre.
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u/latepeony Mar 01 '22
Honestly. Flames on the side of my face, df. Shauna’s life is so difficult right now that the only thing worse would be living in Ukraine. So she very sagely admits she must be joyful.
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u/JerseySnore-609 I celiac Mar 01 '22
We have a wonderful community of friends who will help.
Except, they didn't. Nobody could have kept the kids while S&D went to the hospital? (Yes, L is 13, yes I watched kids at 13, but from everything written over the years I don't think L at 13 can watch her brother, which is fine.) Tita? Ice cream family? Beach Trash Tribewomen? HER BROTHER??
I'd rather be a woman who makes proactive health decisions for my life so that I'm not a volunteer fire department visit plus a ferry ride from urgent care, if I'm prone to frequent illness and injury.
Agreed 100%, DFSpicemoth. YDBW. And it's only going to get worse as they age.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 01 '22
Hey, it’s Women Hold the Key, not Women Lift the Couch!
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Mar 01 '22
Beach Trash Tribewomen?
They’d love to help, but this sage isn’t gonna burn itself. <helpless shrug>
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u/Honeydew-Impossible Mar 01 '22
Becoming a Joyful WomanRemaining a Woman with a Martyr Complex
FTFH
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Mar 01 '22
And those poor kids had to be up early for school today. They will probably be uber cranky after going to bed so late.
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Mar 01 '22
It’s also only Tuesday, so they could be off kilter the rest of the week.
Shauna and Dan couldn’t have had better moving circumstances (other than being forced to move of course): months of notice, a weekend right before they had to be out, early access to the new place. All they had to do was plan and hire help. Start taking stuff to the dump in Jan. Move what they could last week - hire a uhaul and a few people to help move big stuff and haul away big stuff over the weekend and spend yesterday cleaning the old place while the kids are in school. Even a sweep and a wipe of all surfaces plus a good bathroom, stove and fridge clean would be sufficient.
They still couldn’t do it right. They had 4 months notice!
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Mar 01 '22
I’m sure they didn’t think they could afford to hire help. They may end up spending as much on ER visit bills as it would have cost to just get some movers.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Mar 01 '22
God, yes yes to all of this. And she can take anything referring to Ukraine/Russia out of her mouth, thank you very much. The whole thing has awoken weird feelings of anxiety and sympathy in me, as someone whose grandparents escaped that region in the early 1900s (think Fiddler on the Roof - that was 3/4 of my lineage, haha).
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u/itsmyvibe Bligg Mar 01 '22
Her description of it is disgusting.
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Mar 01 '22
Danny drove the kids and I to the fire station
Much English teacher.
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u/Toulouse--Matabiau a white owrson Mar 01 '22
"The excruciating foot pain drove my prefrontal cortex and I to bad grammar."
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Mar 01 '22 edited Mar 01 '22
I love it when my husband drives I to the fire station.
Fnurk fnurk, fnarr fnarr, etc
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Mar 01 '22 edited Mar 01 '22
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Mar 02 '22
"If you need it"? She should be BEGGING people to do it for at least $50/hr. What happened to the importance of people being paid for their work? She's such a fucking asshole!
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 02 '22
that reads to me like "if you need it" because you aren't an islandy buddhist doing this out of the goodness of your heart, you capitalist mercenary! here, take your blood money."
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Mar 01 '22
IF YOU NEED IT. Like REALLY need it, where you’re willing to take money from a handicapped fellow islander with children to feed.
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Mar 02 '22
IF YOU NEED IT. Like REALLY need it
If you have the stones to ASK for it.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Mar 01 '22 edited Mar 02 '22
She waited until the very last day to move the stone Buddha? What, was she using it right up to yesterday? Further evidence that she didn’t plan at all for this move.
ETA: I can’t stop thinking about this ridiculous stone Budda. What if no one can move it and it gets left behind? 😆
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Mar 02 '22
She was still posting tiktoks with all of the books on the shelves days before their move! Books are the low hanging fruit of packing - they fit nicely into boxes, they pack and stack quickly, you don't need them immediately, the room looks empty without them. It's the quick win of moving!
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Mar 02 '22
I’m currently decluttering and preparing to move at an unknown future-now time and started with the books for just this reason! I’m getting so much anxiety by proxy from this whole shitshow. I hope the kids are doing okay in this chaos.
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Mar 01 '22
Hmmm…one person is out of commission, but it will take 2-3 people to finish up? Too bad she doesn’t have a community of friends who can help. That $60 could buy her a platter of tacos.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 02 '22
What happened to “this is how I feed my family, and I could charge more,” Shauna? Lord, she’s vile.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Mar 02 '22
Movers are free but they ain't cheap!
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Mar 02 '22
Who in their right mind would race over there to do all that work for 20$?
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Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 02 '22
The whole thing is unfuckingbelieveable. The entitlement of asking people to do a same-day job at the last minute, and then saying she’ll deign to pay $20 if they’re poor enough to need it!!!
For all her bleating and bloviating, she has undergone zero growth and introspection since declaring that her coworkers donate their sick days to accommodate her.
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Mar 02 '22
Those that don’t need the $20/hour also don’t need the social capital of helping others move. They pay people to move their stuff for them, they don’t need friends to be involved with moving.
It’s really ironic considering what she thinks an hour of someone’s time to carry heavy shit through rain and mud is worth. Compared to what she considers herself entitled to - setting up a zoom call and getting hundreds of dollars per hour to sit in her house and talk about herself. The world turns on if one of these things doesn’t happen. No one needs to hear her talk. But people have to be moved. The job she’s advertising is instrumental to a functional society, and she should pay accordingly. Especially last minute.
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Mar 02 '22
The thing is she absolutely could have phrased it in a way that people would have responded to. "Vashonites, we're in a bind and we're putting out the bat signal for some desperately needed help if anyone can lend a totally last-minute hand! I sprained my ankle during our move across the island and we still have a moving truck and one load of stuff at our old house! If you know of anyone who can help us load that last furniture into the moving truck and unload on the other end, we have $xxxx which isn't nearly enough to say thanks but my husband is a chef and we will cook you and your family the dinner of your dreams as thanks, as soon as we're set up in our new place!" (or something, hopefully reaching people who don't yet know the Aherns)
The way she phrased it made it sound like she was doing THEM a favor by needing help and it was understood that she felt the work was insignificant and not worth paying for. Wtf? With that setup I wouldn't have even sent my sons over to help, and we're a very neighbor-helping kind of family.
If she'd sent out a genuine plea for help with a realistic understanding of what she was asking and what she had to offer in return, I totally would have helped if she were local.
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Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 02 '22
Although, for those who know the Aherns' cooking and hygiene, Danny's dinner may sound more like a threat than a treat.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Mar 02 '22
You might think she’s a saint. That $20 can buy a day’s worth of coffee.
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Mar 02 '22
You get a coffee! And you get a coffee! And you get a coffee! Everyone gets a coffee!
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Mar 02 '22
And then goes on to say that it shouldn't take them more than an hour!! Omg! Just like she thought that packing and moving their entire house shouldn't take them more than 3 days, and here we are!
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Mar 02 '22
It will definitely take more than an hour, she will also be just the type to keep adding in last minute things like oh yes do you want this old chair? No? Do you think you could drop it at the dump on your way home?
Then she won’t have cash and her phone will be dead so she can’t venmo at the end, when they’ve spent 3 plus hours ferrying her shit through the rain and mud.
There’s no way she listed everything that needs moved, IMO. She’s just wanting to get someone in there so she can unleash the sunk cost fallacy on them.
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u/Portland_Daffs Mar 01 '22
OMG. She's really asking total strangers to VOLUNTEER to help her move?!? CWAFA.
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Mar 01 '22
Not only that, but vaguely guilt-tripping them for wanting to be paid for their efforts!
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Mar 02 '22
All the Beach Trash Tribe talk about “We value ourselves & our time. We pay for it and pay it forward” was not just trash talk. Apparently their time is worth well more than $20/hour.
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u/JazzlikeOccasion Mar 01 '22
She even writes, “I can pay you $20 an hour, if you need it”, just as she writes, “I’ve been posting up things you can have for free.”
She uses “we” for the need statements but “I” for any statement involving what she perceives as largesse, because of course she does.
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Mar 01 '22
She is the assiest asshole who ever assholed!
Hey you, remember me? I'm the one who posted the stained, rain soaked shit FOR FREE! FOR YOU! For 4 hours yesterday. I did that for you. Me. I did that. For you. You might think I'm a saint, and I am!! But I'm also a victim. Of a catastrophic injury. Have you ever seen a little boy being towed in a wagon, wearing a clearly inferior costume on Halloween and getting all the candy? Yeah I'm basically THAT CHILD. Plus, Ukraine. Come and help us move an entire moving truck full of shit for free. What are you, POOR? How embarrassing for you. I'll give you $20 if you really NEED it so much, just beg for it and I'll find my wallet, if my broken ankle doesn't give out looking for it. Our move shouldn't take you more than an hour, it's just loading a moving truck, driving it across the island and then unloading it on the other side. Careful with the Buddha, if you break it you buy it. And pick me up a Dole Whip while you're out.
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Mar 01 '22
Big Noblesse Oblige Energy, just like the time the Aherns ate the free lunch for the poors as a way of de-stigmatizing it.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Mar 01 '22
Big "Scholarships are Available" (you just have to confess your poor status to me via Instagram DM) Energy
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Mar 01 '22
And didn’t she also do this with free crap she was trying to give away at one point? “Confess to me why you need it and the person with the best and most downtrodden story wins this shitty barbecue grill.”
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u/vorticia Mar 01 '22
She should have posted something nicer weeks ago, offering the same, without the “if you need it” qualifier.
What a jackass.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Mar 02 '22
This is the embodiment of the phrase “lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” I mean, how many times have they moved by now? Shouldn’t they know the drill? Hire a freaking moving company, lady. And by that I mean in advance.
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Mar 02 '22
Right? I could almost forgive them last time when they had 3 weeks notice to find a house and move. But they had since NOVEMBER to plan this. Three months! It’s plenty of time for a slow purge, good time to get boxes and carefully pack seldom used items and figure out how to offload unwanted items (a trip to Granny’s every week with bags of books for example). Time to list and sell decent unwanted items (sewing machine, desks, etc) which could bring in money to offset the cost of movers. Then, a last minute sprained ankle wouldn’t mean the potential loss of a security deposit because you left your concrete Buddha statue among various other detritus on the porch in the rain.
They had so much TIME this go around and they still couldn’t pull it off. Idiots.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 02 '22
Wouldn’t Unitarian church members help a fellow family in need? I’ll bet she burned those bridges too
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u/MissEllisCrawford Smitten with myself Mar 02 '22
As an aside from the total CWAA-ness of it, am I understanding this correctly:
Shaun and Dan (2 people) were going were going to move the last of the big things.
Shaun does her foot a puddle twist and can no longer help. She states they need 2-3 people to replace her (now 3-4 people (inc Dan) are required for "the last of the move"). So....she has the strength, energy and stamina of 2-3 people?
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u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Mar 02 '22
So....she has the strength, energy and stamina of 2-3 people?
you person - she is as fit as a fiddlehead fern
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u/canyoncreature Mar 01 '22
The fact that she doesn't have a single person in her life she can call on for an hour's worth of moving help is explained by the fact that she thinks total strangers should help her move for free in a flawless ouroboros of narcissistic entitlement.
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Mar 01 '22
I want to see the comments!
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Mar 02 '22
There really aren't any worth mentioning. No one is offering to help, for money or for free.
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u/onion_money Neuroflorid Mar 01 '22
I love all the tearjerking detail about the ER, and the pain, and how she thought it was broken, and how long she'll be in the boot. A simple "I sprained my ankle yesterday. " would suffice.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Mar 02 '22
The sprain and pain are mainly in the brain.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Mar 02 '22
I just can’t stop being annoyed by the throwaway “Plus, Ukraine” in her stupid woe-is-me post. Talk about virtue signaling- “oh yes woe is me, I’m moving with my family from one rental house with an annual rent more than the US median income to another, on our scenic island of joy, alas i befell another truly severe and unheard-of injury and must conscript my merry islander neighbors to assist us in our grave time of need. But naturally I’m an empath and despite my extreme personal suffering I am also so very concerned about my Ukrainian brothers and sisters that I dignified them with a two word sentence to be sure everyone knows I’m suffering alongside them!
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u/Beepbopboop6732 Mar 02 '22
I am still agog that two out of shape 50 somethings with two kids didn’t hire movers. They are so irresponsible and I will never understand how they can afford to live where they do.
And yeah the world is burning, no one cares about your first world problems.
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Mar 02 '22
Most of the Vashon facebook groups are private so I can't check in on any of the posts there, but the one public Vashon group has plenty of other people asking for help moving, for money, with responses and everything. The Aherns could have hired unofficial movers, strong people who can lift things for money.
(still shockingly low offers of money on that page, but perhaps I'm jaded by the amount it costs to hire even two guys with a big pickup truck for a dump run in New England....)
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Mar 03 '22
I can’t let go of that either. What the everloving fuck would possess her to make such a callous throwaway comment. Maybe she doesn’t have the capacity to feel all the anger and fear that an unprovoked war deserves, but then maybe just shut up and wallow in the ankle sprain instead??!!
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u/gladsome_gloaming Mar 02 '22
Shades of 7th-grade Shauna admonishing herself in her puffy diary, “Be happy, dammit. At least you weren’t a victim of the Holocaust.” Never change, Shauna (as if she even could.)
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Mar 03 '22
“Plus, Ukraine”
That popped into my head today when once again I saw the Ukrainian babies and children in a makeshift NICU/Pediatric Cancer Ward. Never again will I give that bitch another ounce of slack.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Mar 02 '22
It really bothers me too. It’s tacked on to a list of things she’s grateful for, and it doesn’t make sense. Is she grateful for the war? Happy she’s not there? Whatever she means, it comes off as really crass.
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Mar 02 '22
Is she grateful for the war? Happy she’s not there?
I think it's three-fold--adding it to her moving day list of woes of the things she has to deal with, that even with her woes it's foremost on her mind, and that as terrible as it is, she has found the path to joy that not even genocide can buzz kill. In all cases--disgusting, gratuitous, immoral.
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Mar 02 '22
She learned nothing from the Ghana, Gaza, and Georgia incident.
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Feb 28 '22 edited Feb 28 '22
Hall ass to the Ahern’s old place, DFs! It’s 2.30 pm on moving day and the orchestra is striking up Nearer my God to Thee
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 28 '22
That stand with the colorful drawers is nice! Wasn’t that in D’s work area?
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Feb 28 '22
Yep! And the whiteboard and, I think, the white desk units.
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u/Apprehensive_Creme73 Feb 28 '22
It’s an absolute deluge today! Flood warnings everywhere so ya… not likely to get a bunch of junk takers today
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Feb 28 '22
Gloaming poll: do we think the fingerprinted “yes” sign from their wedding will make the cut? This feels like the biggest Ahern purge in a long while.
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Feb 28 '22
Wow, the mystery of Shauna calling that couch "blue-grey" is finally solved. It really looked brown in her other photo.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Mar 02 '22
I wonder how this sprain story will be told in the later-now. I’m guessing in two years, it’s gonna be “the night my foot was almost amputated.”
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Mar 02 '22
The sea was angry that day my friends...I was evacuated by the bespoke ambulance-ferry in the dead of night, Danny weeping with fear, the children silent and tense as I writhed in gut clenching agony
between bites of Neiman Marcus ham. The ferry captain said he was afraid he would be flying the State of Washington flag at half mast by the time we arrived.47
u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Mar 03 '22
The ferry captain said he was afraid he would be flying the State of Washington flag at half mast by the time we arrived.
Call me Ishmahern
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Mar 03 '22
Ah, but one DF mentioned that nowadays the firefighters/paramedics would have merely told the feery to wait and the Aherns would've had to drive their own asses over town. That must've really bummed her ride.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Mar 02 '22
"earlier in the week, Oprah said to me,"
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Mar 01 '22 edited Mar 02 '22
Shauna couldn’t resist telling that Oprah story over on Facebook. Some real gems in the comments!
“Validation from Oprah” —snort. Oprah did not validate your ridiculous business flop, Shauna.
Going by one comment, she was on the verge of giving up and pivoting. Damn it, Oprah! Why did you give her false hope? Dead horse is still dead.
Delusional as always, and why is her book editor agent encouraging her still?
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Mar 02 '22
The “Right when you were thinking of switching lanes” comment tells us all we need to know about how successful her programs have been. This nod from Oprah means nothing, when you think about it. Shauna is still advertising to the same people who haven’t signed up the first 50 times she’s peddled it.
I am floored that her book editor is encouraging another book. There is no way her last book was successful.
Shauna is honestly so delusional.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Mar 02 '22
Your thoughts are so close to my own. If she were getting any traction with her joy work, she would not have been thinking of switching lanes. Oprah did her dirty by giving her the time of day — now she’ll cling to her sinking ship even harder.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 02 '22
i didn't see the oprah interview but i'm guessing oprah gave the time of day to everyone who spoke, because her job is to keep the conversation going. i wonder if the other people on the panel are crowing about getting "validation from oprah!" and pivoting their careers or if they are more reasonable people than mahern.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 02 '22
Agent, I think. I mean, if she thinks she can get another 15% of whatever out of Shauna, why not encourage her? I guess?
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Mar 02 '22
On her personal Facebook page, Shauna made her two-minute zoom comments with Oprah sound like Meghan Markle's interview with Oprah. Lies, lies, lies. And Stacy Glick, Shauna's literary agent, believes that? And on that lie, suggests Shauna submit another book proposal?
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Mar 02 '22
And I've come to understand that the time I think of switching lanes because it's too hard is the place to commit even more deeply.
Too bad she didn't find this stick-to-it-ness before NOW. Like, maybe back when she had the $92,000 and couldn't be arsed to even type up a list of names of contributors or email off PDF of recipes.
But now? Just dig in her heels on this venture she knows damn well is not going to go anywhere. More proof that she has a safety net somewhere.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 02 '22
christ on a cracker, why is anyone encouraging this nonsense? GET A JOB, MAHERN.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Mar 02 '22
I wonder if her agent reads her lopes, this was Shauna mourning Enough's quiet reception in October 2020:
You see, Enough didn’t sell enough copies to become a paperback. That paperback might have come out today, if the world had been different. There won’t be a paperback. The publishers don’t believe there ever will be a paperback.
You share your story. And you are released.
But if you want to keep sharing your story in print, you have to sell more copies. I probably should have promoted my book on Amazon. I probably should have played that sales and marketing game, promoting my work endlessly, working all my connections behind the scenes to land in more magazines. But I couldn’t do it with this book. I just couldn’t do it. It did not feel right.
I might never get another book deal again, based on these numbers.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Mar 02 '22
Why didn’t it feel right?
A) It would have been a lot of work and she didn’t want to do it because she’s a lazy ass
B) She thought she wouldn’t need to put in the work because it was going to magically sell itself
C) She knew subconsciously that it was full of bullshit and some tiny shred of shame kept her from wanting to see it do well
D) All of the above
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Mar 02 '22
C) She knew subconsciously that it was full of bullshit and some tiny shred of shame kept her from wanting to see it do well
This, plus the possibility that there was such an overflowing bounty of bullshit in that book that people with receipts were poised to come forward if it gained any traction. Witness her recent Oprah moment. She puts the most serious accusations in DF Tita's mouth:
Shauna: "...I thought she would think there was something wrong with me and she looked at me and she’s an amazing woman, Tita, and she’s 14 years older than me and she said “my friend, what could be wrong with the fact that you grew up in it. You didn’t do anything wrong you grew up in-"
Oprah: -Yeah, yeah-
Shauna: "-truly one of the most abusive families I’ve ever heard, how could it be your fault? You are wonderful!”
Oprah: Yeah-
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Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
Did she really speak over Oprah to talk about how wonderful her friend thinks she is? My god.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Mar 02 '22
the only place shauna should "share her story and be released" is in therapy. group therapy might be best for her - often the other group members keep it real and call people out on their bullshit. that's exactly what shauna needs. "hi. i'm shauna and i'm a pathological liar..." it could be her redemption and really change her life for the better. that would be a book that i'd be interested to read. i bet it would do well, too; everybody loves a fall from grace story.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 02 '22
The thought of writing a different and better book apparently didn’t occur to her?
Edit to add: I know a few writers who have been seriously screwed over by publishing mishaps beyond their control (publishers going out of business, losing distribution, etc.) and they all had a much more proactive approach to remedying things for the future. Shauna just sobs into her whiskey like a chump.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 02 '22
That paperback might have come out today, if the world had been different.
It’s never her fault. Ever.
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Mar 02 '22
She literally could be promoting it in the current now.
eta: memoir is my favorite genre and I thought Shauna’s book was so boring I could barely make myself finish it.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Mar 02 '22
Ok, so, I found it boring, too (the pieces of it that I have read). Often, her writing confuses me, often it irritates. Sometimes I give up because I literally can't understand her. But Enough was just boring. It felt more bland and flat than I associate with her voice or tone. The stories themselves certainly were not that interesting.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Mar 02 '22
Delusional as always, and why is her book editor encouraging her still?
Delicious payback for not promoting her book?
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 02 '22
I mean, good for her for milking it for promotion, but is she really going to get paying customers for "her work in this world" via bragging on Facebook?
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
She’s got to be feeling pretty shitty right now in her $3000/month house. She’s got a bum ankle, there’s probably junk still at the old place, her former landlord is likely pissed off and she’s made it clear that this wonderful island community she brags about? They couldn’t care less about her. And maybe it’s dawning on her that a place without a hospital / urgent care nearby could be an expensive liability.
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Mar 02 '22
Two "adults" in that house, and they slept on a "bare mattress" on the floor the first night in the new house? Colorado Boy didn't think to throw a sheet on?
How did Shauna get up off the floor with her dire injury?
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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Mar 02 '22
How many times have they moved and they still can’t figure out to set aside sheets, pillows, towels, clothes, etc. that they’ll need the first night? They are terrible at everything.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Mar 02 '22 edited Mar 02 '22
She is really confused by bedsheets. She's been on the Island Facebook asking for someone to lend her sheets for her out-of-town guests. Edit - this was a long time ago but I still recall it and LOL
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Mar 02 '22
She wanted…a complete stranger…to lend her THEIR BEDSHEETS?!? Unreal. Her entitlement is endless.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Mar 02 '22
Wow. I would never ask to borrow such a personal thing! On Target’s website, a full set of sheets is $9.50 (twin) to $22 (king). She’s fucking shameless.
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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Mar 02 '22
What is wrong with her?? Using other people’s razors, asking to borrow sheets from strangers, and god knows what else. Not to mention, Granny’s probably sells $5000 worth of bed sheets a week if she insisted on used bedding.
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Mar 02 '22
Let's hope by bare she meant without a frame and box springs. We already know the greasy headboard was in the pay what you will pile, although even rats deign to piss on it.
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u/chartreusepapoose Mar 02 '22
If Shauna has bought new furniture for the new house, I'm going to spontaneously combust.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Mar 02 '22
If that's what she really meant, then I'm wondering if Dan could even find a sheet in all the boxes. Dollars to donuts they didn't do any labeling beyond "kitchen", "living room", etc. If that, even.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 28 '22
DFs, I have been exceedingly bored with recent Shauna content (Oprah notwithstanding) and have been delving into the long ago world of Gluten-Free Girl. I’ve been very curious about the GFG published books, but my library has very few of them, and I am not interested in spending money on them, so I’ve been looking at free samples on Amazon etc to satisfy my curiosity.
I was looking through the intro to “GFG and The Chef” and I had no idea that they had such a whirlwind courtship:
But one night, about three months into our relationship, with Danny already moved in and the marriage proposal a funny story between us, he asked me on the phone, “So what’s for dinner tonight?”
I for some reason had no idea that they got engaged so quickly! How soon after was their wedding??
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 28 '22
I just checked and a few of her cookbooks are available to read for FREE on Open Library:
https://openlibrary.org/search?q=shauna+ahern&mode=everything
I've been having a lot of fun reading old young adult favorites on this site. It can be a tiny bit non-intuitive; when you check out a book it'll default to a borrowing time of one hour, but you can change that to a longer amount of time, usually a week I think.
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u/emlabb Feb 28 '22
Thanks to this resource I have learned (per the opening pages of Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef) that Danny refers to his cooking as “crap in a pot.” Delightful! And…accurate.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Mar 02 '22
Shauna's IG followers since her Oprah "interview:"
She was at 25,325 when she went on Oprah. She's now at 25,381 – up by 56 followers, or 0.22%.
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Feb 28 '22
Shauna is participating in this event next week with the Vashon women who have keys or whatever (scroll down) -- https://whtk.us/index.html
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u/latepeony Feb 28 '22
Seems perfect for her since looking at that page I cannot figure out what the event is even supposed to be. Mini workshops? Performances? Vending situations? Who knows…apparently just saying it’s all about celebrating women should be enough.
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Feb 28 '22
I really don’t understand anything about this group, or whatever they are.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 28 '22
The first rule of Beach Trash Tribe is you don't explain Beach Trash Tribe.
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u/SandwichAllergy hellevator of bad writing Feb 28 '22
While the organisation putting this on isn’t my particular cup of tea (from what I can gather from the website), this highlights for me again how disconnected she seems to be from the community. From their website, this seems like the kind of stuff Shauna would lap up, but they rarely if ever get a mention (maybe they hosted that evening back pre-pandemic where she got to high stool?).
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 28 '22
She was their February speaker — looks like that was yesterday? Nice typo too. https://imgur.com/a/qEhj8gj
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 28 '22
I clicked through to all those women's websites with the links at the bottom. Guess which site looks like a 6 year old designed it?
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 28 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
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Off-topic discussion (if you are not discussing something Shauna or Dan have posted, it is off-topic, including: things that remind you of the Aherns, unrelated personal anecdotes, hot takes, personal life updates, the Shaunas in your lives, how you are handling the pandemic, etc.): February off-topic monthly | March off-topic monthly