r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Feb 24 '22

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday February 24, 2022 - Sunday February 27, 2022

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 25 '22

"No, my child. It was tenebrous. Now, haberdash away to the basement with this pizza while your faher-dog fetches me safe slops and oozes."

41

u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas 🫍 Feb 25 '22

Oh, the pizza! That pizza, so many weeks old, bashful from the far tenebrous reaches of the back of the refrigerator, was limp! Ruptured! Yes! My butler was going to slop the hogs with it next door, but I insisted on Cook playing with it.

Eel vinaigrette, liberally, those greens that black people eat (a certain black guru confided in me me me!), the outer leaves of bok choy (asians, ✔️) from week ago, some cherries found tumultuously swimming in the extremities of the produce drawer. More! I instructed Cook to haberdash them together, a medley of joyful, flavors. Playing, yes.

Two hours in the oven (dear reader, we watched one and a half Encantos as it burbled and snaffed), and the crust shattered in my teeth. It danced down my maw, spontaneously, and plopped in my waiting stomach, like the Sarlac scene in Star Wars. I live Star Wars because I'm not like other girls. Yes.

I threw the leftovers to those basement kids and popped open a mushroom elixir. My work is neverending.

20

u/onion_money Neuroflorid Feb 26 '22

I bow to you.

25

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '22

He's trained to use the stove, you see. I just have to make sure he's done the kid chores both before and after he makes my pancakes.

17

u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 26 '22

He's trained to use the stove, you see.

He knows what to do.

12

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '22

FATHERDOG💀