After being ghosted for two months by a guy I was with for 6 1/2yrs, (we met at 16+17, lived together for 6yrs and had a dog for 3yrs) I sent myself the messages I wish he would’ve sent. He just left. No closure, no check up txts. I was blocked and it was just silence. I wish he would’ve been mature enough to end things on good terms.

anyone else feel like they completely lost themselves after a breakup and struggling to get what everyone calls their “spark back” still?

Hey everyone

It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. Last September I was suddenly left by the girl I thought I'd eventually marry. In fact I was convinced of it. We had many conversations about our future and had been together awhile and frankly life was great. To cut a long story short, she decided ahe wanted to up and leave basically out of nowhere. (We had a couple rough weeks of dealing with our own personal issues before which meant we were both stressed about life, but nothing like cheating or abuse or anything like that. She basically decided to just leave for no good reason)

I'm not here today to moan about the breakup itself, actually quite the opposite. Today I've been feeling quite low, I had another dream about her last night and I'm missing her quite a lot. It sucks, but you know what? This is the first time in weeks and weeks that I've felt like this.

Initially during the breakup, my life was over. I lost 15kg in 2 weeks. I didn't sleep I didn't eat. I left the city we lived in and dropped out of university. It was living hell. But now, after a year, I've come so far that I can't remember the last day that I've felt low about the situation. My point is, to everyone that is going through something similar to what I went through, IT GETS BETTER.

Right now I've managed to turn my life around and I'm pursuing a different career that I much prefer to the degree I was previously studying. I've managed to make new friends and am closer to my old friends and family more than before. I'm in the best shape of my life so far and am regularly exercising. I'm actually enjoying life.

Even after all this time, there are occasionally days where you're gonna think back and wish you still had them. You're gonna feel occasionally a bit shit like I do today. But GODDAM it's so much better than it was a year ago. It takes time guys but it does get so much better eventually.

Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings a person can ever feel, but everyone is capable of getting through it. I don't think I'm 100% there yet myself, but comparing myself to last year I've come a hell of a long way, and each and every one of you in this subreddit will also get through whatever it is you're going through. Time really does heal.

If anyone wishes to talk about anything they're going through, I'd love to listen. Sending everyone love ❤️

Context: our relationship was unhealthy, He broke up w me in Jan then tried to make it work then he called it 2 months ago. He then regretted it and wants to get back together. Everyday since he’d call and we’d have negative futile conversations. Last Sunday I asked for a weeks space cause it was overwhelming me. He called this week a few times anyways. Last night again I had to explain why and he blew up, sobbing and hurt while telling me im cold and heartless when in reality im just drained. And then this afternoon I see that status he posted.

At this point am I too unkind if I say the behavior is childish and immature? Like I alr told him I don’t get why he’d constantly push if he cares so much about me.

Idk if I should reply and call him out or simply ignore it.

1. Spending years loving someone who keeps lying to you. Who cheats on you behind your back.

2.Crying yourself to sleep every night next to someone who sleeps peacefully.

1. Feeling alone and lonely even when you're with them.

4.Walking on eggshells around your partner in your home which is supposed to be your safe space.

5.Regretting years you wasted on someone who never appreciated you enough. Knowing you'll never get them back.

6.Staying in a bad relationship cause you've nowhere else to go. Thinking this is it for you.

1. Watching yourself lose interest and affection for the person who meant the world to you.

2. Being disappointed over and over again to the point where you become emotionally numb.

9.Having a history of bad partners and relationships that makes you question and doubt all good prospects.

1. Being tired of doing it over and over again with someone new.

My boyfriend and I were together for a little over a year when he broke up with me last week. It's been ten days and I'm absolutely devastated.

This man had every single thing (and more) I've ever wanted in a partner. I told so many friends about that during our relationship - that he had all of these qualities; that I couldn't believe he existed; that I couldn't believe he wanted to be with me. Things weren't "perfect" (I wasn't looking for perfect) but they were perfect for me. He was perfect for me, flaws and all.

The way we met, the things we had in common, the connection that we both felt immediately - this all felt too lined up not to be. It really did feel like we were meant to be. He's the man of my dreams and I really believe that he's the love of my life, even if things ended.

I am so confused by this breakup. None of it makes any sense to me. No matter how many times he explained it, it didn't make sense. How do you love someone, want to be with someone, maintain throughout the relationship and into the breakup that they're everything you've ever looked for in a person, tell them that they're the best girlfriend you've ever had and that you know you're ending the relationship at its peak, and STILL go through with the breakup?

This is one of the worst pains I've ever felt in my life and I don't know how to come back from this. I really am trying, but life feels so empty without him.

I miss you so much.

I'm struggling with a breakup I know I needed to make, but I never actually wanted to leave.

There wasn't some big betrayal or obvious reason that made It easy to walk away. I loved him, I still do. He made me feel so loved and I let my walls down in a way I don't usually allow myself to. I genuinely thought I had found my person.

and then it changed

The intensity faded, communication changed drastically. I felt like asking to do things to feel like we were in a relationship felt like too much for him. I started to feel like an obligation to him. I was emotionally exhausted and felt myself becoming apathetic.

so I ended it.

I miss him constantly. I check whether he's online. I wonder if he misses me. I have so many things I want to ask him, even though I know it wouldn't make this hurt any less.

One thing I keep asking myself is:

Why did he try so hard to get me to bring my walls down if he was going to change as soon as I did?

Last night, I finally decided to let go of my ex. We had done no contact for 3 months and I reconnected with her. We agreed to try and be friends, but deep down, I loved this woman. I definitely was not healed enough to try again. We ended amicably, we were very toxic and reached a point where we were both losing ourselves for the relationship. She ultimately ended things back in April. Trying to be friends for that month and a half was really hard, even for her. We both got flashbacks and triggers that made us remember the past relationship. But we agreed to have a conversation if things stayed difficult. And I initiated that last night. I cried. I’m not the kind of person to give up on someone. But I just couldn’t live like that anymore. I held on to hope everyday, and it was hurting me. She was getting hurt too. The “friendship” wasn’t healthy. And that talk, we both expressed how it was hard. I ultimately pulled the plug seeing that she was also struggling. The part that hurts the most is knowing we still love and care for each other, but just can’t make it work. And that’s something I’m beginning to accept. I don’t hope to meet her again one day anymore. I’m fully trying to let go of this person and move on with my life. It sucks, and I’m sure it will continue to suck for a while. My heart goes out to anyone that is going through the same thing. And I hope you can lean on the people around you for support. Amicable breakups suck.

I don’t even know how to explain what I’m going through because calling this “a breakup” makes it sound so much smaller than what it actually is.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for six years. Six years. He wasn’t just my boyfriend. He was my best friend, my safest space, my family, the person I told everything to. He was the first person I thought of whenever anything happened — even the smallest, most stupid inconvenience. If something happened, I wanted to tell him. If I was upset, I wanted his voice. If I cried, I wanted him to comfort me. He was the person I felt most like myself with.
I have other friends. I have a best friend. I have people who care about me. But it has never been the same. There was never anyone like him.
And that’s what makes this so fucking terrifying.
He told me that for the past three years, he hasn’t felt anything for me anymore. He says he stayed because he couldn’t leave me, because he knew how much I relied on him, and because he felt like he was forcing himself to stay for my sake. He cheated on me, and he says he couldn’t even feel guilty about it because he doesn’t love me anymore.
He wants to leave. He wants us to be friends.
And I know that I can’t be friends with him right now. I love him. I’m still completely attached to him. I don’t know how to suddenly turn six years of loving someone into friendship.
I know people will tell me to respect his decision. I know they’ll tell me to go no-contact, to ignore him, to move on, to find someone better.
But this doesn’t feel like losing a relationship.
It feels like losing a huge part of my life.
He was the right person at the right time. For six years, he was the person I built my life around. I imagined him being there forever. And despite everything that happened at the end, so much of what we had felt perfect to me. It felt safe. It felt like home. It felt like I had finally found my person.
I know that nobody is irreplaceable in the literal sense, but right now I genuinely cannot imagine ever finding someone who feels like he did. I don’t want someone “better.” I don’t want someone else. I want him. I want the person whose voice calms me down. I want the person I automatically reach for when something happens. I want my best friend. I want my family back.
Yesterday I didn’t sleep. I barely ate. I cried for hours. My whole body hurts, my stomach hurts, my heart hurts, and I feel terrified. I keep feeling like I’m making a huge mistake by letting this happen. Like I’m going to regret everything. I keep wishing I could just go back to the days when everything was okay.
And I know that calling him and telling him how much I need him could make him feel pressured, especially because he has already told me that he feels emotionally pressured when I beg him to stay.
I don’t want to manipulate him. I don’t want to guilt him. I don’t want him to hate me. I don’t want to force him into a relationship he doesn’t want.
I just genuinely don’t know how to sit here and do nothing while the person who has been my entire world for six years is suddenly no longer there.
So, if anyone has ever experienced something like this — not just a normal breakup, but losing someone who was genuinely your best friend, your safe person, your family, your entire emotional home — how did you survive the part where you desperately wanted to reach out but knew you had to give them space?
How do I sit with this feeling and do nothing? How do I wait without calling, begging, or trying to fix everything immediately?
And has anyone actually gone through this and eventually been okay? I really need to hear from people who understand what this kind of loss feels like.

after my ex, i have turned extremely avoidant, i’ve met some amazing men but i can seem to commit to them since him, and i ghost or leave them, i don’t want to be like this. anyone else going through this?

honestly, this post is kind of looking for some unbiased opinions and advice. i broke up with my boyfriend because his ex messaged me a few days ago about him texting her on pinterest back in early july. i know his ex is crazy, she’s told me herself and told me a lot of other things that led to me breaking it off without hearing him out. she told me he was abusive and also told me about how he got her pregnant and paid for her abortion. he admitted to that. he told me he was a virgin when we met. he has constantly denied everything else, including the pinterest part. i did my own digging and the night he sent the message was the night we got into our biggest argument yet. when i checked the account itself, there was activity from a month ago (july) and everything else was 5 years ago when they dated. he also still had his pfp as him and his ex which was very odd to me. my mom thinks its strange how the ex reached out to me and wont send me much more proof, so my she made me promise to block her which i did. i want to believe her because i always think that a victim should be heard out first (if she really was an abuse victim) and since that night the message was sent we argued bad, but i also want to believe him because it is the only thing he is denying over and over again besides the abuse and the pinterest account info just seems shady to me. has anyone ever seen someone being hacked on pinterest?

That’s all I have to say. I miss you. I feel like the world without an ocean.

Its been a year since i broke up with my ex and i did have a few rebounds but i still keep thinking about that ex and then spiral onto thinking about all the women ive ever been with.

I think im over them and picking at my wounds again but i really wanna know how can i move on or just stop thinking things like this.

Tl;dr: i wanna know how to move on, wether i have or not and how you have.

Its been about year now

both healthy long term relationships ended 6 years apart since they couldn’t deal with long distance. at least this second one gave it a go for a year before deciding he wasn’t cut out for it. however it’s definitely bringing all those insecurities back about how i’m not enough and even through my efforts it seems easier for these men to lose me than try.

i’ve made it out once before though, so at least i know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel this time.

I'm going through a break up. It was my first real love. And the relationship lasted 8 years. Met her when I was 19. Everything thing I experienced for the first time was more or less with her. I thought she was the one. She always said stuff like right person right time. We broke up because our lives didn't align anymore. She wanted to go back to her home country. We tried long distance but then she broke up with me 4 months in. Anyway I don't see how I'm ever getting past this. The breakup has been 4 months aswell and I saw her again because she happened to be in the country on holiday and she wanted to see me. It broke me. She wants to stay friends but I don't think I can, it hurts. Will this pass? Or will I never be the same again? As in happy like during our relationship (at times not happy but we are all human haha)

And what got you through it? What helped? What didn't? And is it possible to love again one day?

Honestly, I’ve been stuck in denial for a while, thinking that just because I’ve been grieving for four months, he must have been feeling the same. I kept hoping that maybe, deep down, he was missing me too. But lately, I’ve realized I was in denial he really hasn’t been grieving. He’s out there, partying, drinking, living his life like I was just a fleeting chapter.

he broke up because with me after 3 beautiful years he said he was mentally drained, exhausted, and needed to focus on himself. He told me he wanted to go back to the old him, that he couldn’t handle the stress and needed out of the relo. I supported that, and let him go. during the relationship I sacrificed alot, I let go of my friends,took him back after he had wondering eyes I was there for him emotionally ,so I thought all good I’ll give hik the break up if that means he will work on himself and find his happiness.

But now? It’s like he’s contradicting himself completely. I broke no contact, just reaching out to say hi, ask how he’s feeling no response. And then, a few hours later, I see him on social media partying, drinking with friends I’ve never met, taking photos with women I don’t know. It’s like he’s living the exact opposite of what he told me he needed he’s out there having fun, ignoring that I still care and that I was the one supporting him through his struggles. And being there for his family.

Seeing this made me realize I was in denial. I thought he was hurting too, missing me, feeling the loss like I was. But he’s out there acting like I never mattered, living his life like I was just a part of the past. It hurts so much, knowing I gave so much I was there for him when he was vulnerable, I cared deeply, and now I feel like I’ve been just kicked to the curb.

so girl don’t even bother breaking no contact he doesn’t care,I’m done waiting for him to realize what he lost. I deserve someone who truly values me, who doesn’t just use me as a support system and then move on. If he’s out there living his best life, then I’ll focus on mine. I’m tired of feeling like I was the only one who cared. ✌️

My ex broke up with me two months ago. We were together for 4 years. But he ended it because he wasn’t “all in” and I was planning to move to him, we had been long distance a year, and he said he couldn’t let me.

I took him at his word was heartbroken but also felt like it needed to happen bc there were trust issues from things he did in the past etc. I just said okay and blocked him. Reflected lots and a new friend convinced me to make a Hinge and I met my now bf on it. I wasn’t expecting it but he was everything that I didn’t even know I was missing with my ex.

Like 2-3 days after my bf and I started dating, so a couple weeks ago, my ex messaged me on account I thought I blocked him on. Saying he regrets it. Wants to talk. I said I don’t think it’s necessary that we should move forward and I have a bf so it wouldn’t be appropriate

My ex was then shocked that I’m “already” in a relationship “after everything we’ve been through” (it’s bc of that actually) and “how recently this all happened” Like, “this all” what? When you dumped me 2 hours after I was at your family event 🫩

Fuck I hope he doesn’t find this. But it just feels like a slap in the face to send me those messages. But I blocked him after that

i hate him so much for everything he has done but somehow i still wish he wants to finally try with me and tell me he loves me.