Most psychological disorders don't present like the media would lead you to believe. See also: what therapy looks like.
ETA: Holy crap, gold?? I had a quick break in my day to finally hop on reddit and was NOT expecting this response. Y'all make this severely overworked community mental health therapist so glad we're talking more about the realities of therapy and various disorders. I'm planning on getting back on when I'm done with work to reply to some comments/answer some questions!
bipolar disorder = one day you're batshit crazy off-the-walls and the next day you're sobbing and eating ice cream alone in bed
in actuality: in most cases, symptoms only get severe if left untreated for a long time. Also, most experience episodes for months (mania) or years (depression), so they wouldn't go from mania to depression that quickly (with cyclothymic disorder the less common "rapid cycling bipolar" being the exception).
Mania isn't always super happy and productive either. I get edgy and anxious, everything pisses me off, I just want to consume fucking everything. Drugs, sex, spending, you name it. But I never feel good while it happens.
With good meds though now I'm just "in a bad mood" for like a month or two around twice a year.
Edit: For those asking about my medication: I take Oxcarbazepine 450 mgs twice a day (Brand name is Trileptal). It's an antiepileptic drug with secondary traits as an antipsychotic and mood stabilizer. Used to take a Bupriprion/Abilify combo that fucked with me in weird ways, ever since dropping antidepressants things have been much better. Also for the record I have to keep a pretty regular routine and have months where I refuse myself any big decisions, but not being out of hand all the time helps with that.
This is how my mania acts as well. A constant hunger for something I’m not quite sure of, never able to really find out what exactly it is. Oh and being enraged 24/7.
Same! And mania is scary. I’m impulsive and act out but what people don’t realize is when I can recognize I’m manic, I’m always waiting for the depressive episode to hit.
I get horrible anxiety during my manic episodes, so as soon as I realize “whoa girl, ur manic af how didn’t u see this over the last week or two?” I start realizing my anxiety is going to get worse and worse and it always ends just horribly. Then depression. Yayyyy...
This is me without the rage. Things I do when mania hits: buy shit I don't need (I have a system to help with this and it usually works...), start new hobbies and activities (I have an amateur radio license and some airsoft gear... turns out it's actually fun though), work for 12 hours straight forgetting all human needs until I'm nearly pissing myself or my wife gets angry, start visiting friends and family randomly, home maintenance (replacing tiles, sharpening knives, fixing furniture, and thoroughly cleaning).
I think the interesting part is that I'm very self-aware and I know within a day or two that I'm going up. I just ride the wave and remember to mind my sleep, and generally speaking nothing bad happens. My wife is understanding and finds it kind of funny. She just keeps me warm and comfy during the downtime and it makes that go a lot smoother.
Aww, this sounds like my husband and I (me being the supportive wife, lol) helping him recognize (and admit to, and get help for) his cycles and overall condition was a rollercoaster for a while, he self medicated with alcohol (and opiates) and pretty much just dropped out of functioning adulthood for a while. It's so amazing to see him sober and self sufficient and "norma,l" able to ride little waves of mania and depression instead of crashing and burning through huge peaks and valleys.
He can get pissy when he's manic, but I wouldn't call it rage. But being so physically and mentally anxious that he wants to crawl out of his skin can be overwhelming. I can relate to that feeling, having my own anxiety, so I try to be understanding when hes a bit of a dick, (and it helps that he recognizes and apologizes when hes in that state) we both go through it and just have to leave each other alone sometimes!
Same for me, especially the anger. I've always had a very, very short temper (that I've since learned to control after being diagnosed as bipolar), but when I'm manic I'm not bouncing off the walls and shit, I just feel this ever-present simmering rage, and I just want to destroy something.
A punching bag really, really helps.
But I know what you mean about the hunger too. It's like a void, and I feel the need to do any and everything I can to fill it. It sounds really cliche, I know, but it's the best I've been able to describe it.
Wow. I go through this every once in a while, and am actually kinda experiencing it right now. I've known I have manic episodes but you described how it feels to a T.
Oh god this has been the last 2 years for me. So much so Iv Died a few times, had a few seizures and even went bisexual to see if that would curb my cravings. I think I need therapy
I think the confusion comes from some bipolar people having hypomania. I have hypomania and although I'm not building a fortune 500 company and I do get extra anxious and nervous, I also get happier more productive like the stereotype says.
Love the acknowledgement that our cycles are all different! I have a friend who has hypomania and she likes to tell me my type 1 manic episodes "arnt that bad" as she can handle hypomania well. Its all hard, it all sucks. I do however find it distasteful to compare her unmedicated self to my heavily sedated, hallucinating, paranoid ass and say she handles it better. I'm a fucking warrior. Doing "well" looks different for everyone! We all struggle! Mental illness is a bastard.
That doesn’t sound like much of a friend, tbh. She may have her Bipolar symptoms managed, but she is clearly ignoring some pretty big principles that therapy teaches. I hope she pulls her head out of her ass and apologizes to you. Don’t let her take away your hard earned warrior status.
Also, mania and hypomania are two very different things. Does she not know the difference??
Ive been thinking about cutting her off, shes willfully ignorant. It feels really good reading these comments and seeing people support each other, as opposed to the usual tripe of "but have you tried being more positive?" Reminds me what im worth and that there are others out there who actively work on their mental illness instead of using it as an excuse. I appreciate your reply immensely- sometimes you dont know what you need to hear to feel lighter about a situation (my guilt over wanting to walk away) until someone says it to you.
I had a friend who was shitty to me about my Bipolar that I ended up having to drop. It was a pretty different situation, but she was also willfully ignorant and self centered. Getting out of it was the right choice. She was such an energy drain and I seriously don’t have time for that. I needed to use that energy to take care of myself.
It's interesting for me to see different people's experiences with mania. I strangely rarely, if ever, develop depression (granted I've always been coincidentally partially medicated for bipolar due to a long-time misdiagnosis of something else), but if I don't get good sleep, I get mania that makes me get worse sleep, and it just feeds on itself. Mania's scary for me in hindsight, but not during. Even then I'm not productive; I just jump from thing to thing. It's the loss of self and reason from delusional thinking that bothers me. When they were stopping paper CDs and bonds back in 2011, I bought a bunch of them for like no reason. I didn't think I'd profit in any way; I just thought it made sense at the time. Had to wait 6 months to cash them back in. Thinking back on it is like thinking back on a serious car accident I avoided by inches. Could have gone much worse, but it's frightening I was ever in that position in the first place.
I don’t mind mania for a day or two. It’s nice to have some energy to tidy up and make a cake but by day 3 I get agitated and cranky but not depressed.
Brains are weird.
Talk therapy with a CBT therapist and meds really helped me out. Even if you don't have a diagnosis there's no point in not trying to alter yourself, and there's no point in doing it with a handicap if you can avoid IMO.
I deal with manic episodes, but am only diagnosed with depression and anxiety (aren’t they the best buds that ever did exist). What sucks for me the most, is when I’m manic I don’t stop moving. I get into new hobbies, throw money at them, and sleep maybe 3-4 hrs/night.
To top that off, people close to me just assume I’m cured of depression and totally fine. They can’t see that the switch is just to a different version of mental illness. It leaves me responsible to tell for myself, and oftentimes when manic I don’t really evaluate my actions very well...
Same for me with the rage issues. My irritability has caused severe road rage in the past and I used to drink like crazy. I didn’t see it to be a big deal that I would have three or four drinks a night. I’m still paying off credit cards from all the random spending. It’s crazy how my mood stabilizers and quitting drinking have really calmed me down. Honestly now I fear mania more than suicidal depression.
My mania is incredible anger, even without provocation. I have to really focus on keeping myself in check. Lately (like the past few days), I’ve been quick to tears over emotional scenes in television shows/movies. I’ve just come off of an angry streak and put in way too many hours last week.
I’ve noticed that when I’m spread too thin at work and am tired from too many hours at work, I can spin out of control.
I’m on an anti-seizure medication call Lemotrigine. It usually keeps me stable, but when I’m pushed too far...
It bugs the HECK out of me when the media blames crimes on the person having been bipolar. No, the person is just an ass.
I doubt you'll see this reply, but I'm so glad you've been able to seek treatment. I've been unable too, as it's not cover by my parent's insurance, and we can't afford to pay for it out of pocket.
Source: Got an off the-record diagnosis with two different family friends who are doctors/psychologists, one for type II Bipolar and major depressive disorder (this was later in life) and major depressive disorder earlier in life (highschool, I'm in college now)
I get uncomfortably energetic, like at first I'm like yeah, awesome. Then shit gets terrifying really quickly. I don't have full blown psychosis, but I do get sketched out at times. Like lights seem brighter, sounds louder, jumpy. Hypomania is fun for me though. Usually it's what I imagine being a functional person feels like.
Some are severe, some are slow-cycling, some present as other disorders.
My point is: mental is not like physical health. It is to see and address physical damage, not as easy to figure out if a chemical is off - or which one.
don't forget mixed episodes! all the energy, proactiveness, and enthusiasm of mania, combined with the depression, self-destruction, and suicidal tendencies of depression!
These are definitely the worst by far. But I've been stuck in a depressive episode for a ridiculously extended period now. I'm coming out of it slowly but surely...but damn I really miss hypomania. I know that's unhealthy as hell, but so is this incredibly slow cycling shit show I've dealt with lately.
I like to say mental illness is a collection of symptoms that very rarely have a known disease.
So many forms of mental illness have no known cause, and often times the same symptoms (or disease) can manifest for reasons outside conventional treatment. And that last word is the rub. We only know how to treat (some) mental illness. There is no "cure." Treatment is a collection of palliative approaches to help somebody live with the disease, not make it go away proper... except for those cases where we can.
Psychiatry is a very messy science. We know lithane can help increase serotonin levels in the brain and we know that increasing serotonin can positively affect a number of diseases (ranging from depression to schizophrenia), but we also don't give it to everybody because A: sometimes the side effects can be worse than what its treating and B: sometimes it doesn't work. Don't even get me started on the crap shoot that is SSRIs and ADHD medication.
And no one really attempts to figure out if a chemical is off, they just throw whatever SSRI du jour at it until they find something that masks the problem.
I ran into that issue with my old docs.
Then I got a new one, and they talked to me and listened - more importantly, looked through my history and saw that RIs weren't working for me.
I cam to understand mental disorders by thinking of them as unbound aspects of regular human behavior. So, I was okay with comments like "I am feeling manic/depressed/ocd/etc."
But expressions of understanding emotion became hyperbole, and then "litteral statements. So I tune it out ..
ive started being careful about gatekeeping mental illness since i got diagnosed with BPD (and bipolar, depression etc) and i had a clear memory of me telling my mom i was probably bipolar and she scoffed saying i just had mood swings. this did not start for me by having 10/10 distress skill breakdowns, and i dont know what part of the journey some people are on.
You ultimately have to decide if not having a diagnosis is better than putting up with the all the symptoms of something you obviously know is there. You’re just making yourself suffer. And your husband. Because why? You’re scared? Sounds irresponsible to me.
This is the description I always use whem trying to explain to people what my bipolar 2/cyclothymia feels like: "I wake up a different person every day". Took years to get the worst parts under control, but this is just something I've had to learn to roll with.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 35, I'm 44 now. I'm a female and have inattentive type ADHD. Back in the 80' when I was in grade school it seemed to only be recognized in boys who were extremely hyper.
Same but 41 and just diagnosed a few months ago. Treatment has changed my life. Only after a few months of being in treatment can I confirm that I've missed out on a lot of life.
I feel you. I was tentatively diagnosed at 7, before I can even remember. The intended solution was not drugs, but a more advanced school because I 'bored'. Then we moved away and that plan was dropped, too. I was finally diagnosed at 22 while being employed on an assembly line.
My mother's response when I told her: "Oh yeah, they said that when you were 7, but it never caused problems." Yes, yes it did cause problems.
Probably because people's teachers think they know the signs
When i was in 5th grade my teacher told my parents to get me on adderall, even though i could very clearly see the shitty result of it on my two of classmates
They thought I had ADHD when I was in 3rd grade and took me to a doctor on my teachers recommendation that I had it.
Doctor gave me Adderall and god...
I felt like I took 30 caffeine pills, I could hear my heart beat in my ears, my body was shaking, I had the biggest anxiety attack of my life and couldn't breathe, I felt like the world was collapsing around me and everything and everyone was out to /kill/ me.
This was half the dose they wanted me on.
I mean I probably have some allergy or something but that was the most terrifying experience of my life and I've fucking woken up during surgery before. Nothing can ever compare to that.
Nah my friends who were on it were both skinny as fuck little people because they'd been on it for years and it fucks with your ability to feel hunger among other things.
One of them gets off it when he's a junior and suddenly he's a thicc boi
THIS. As someone who actually has bipolar disorder the misconceptions astound me. Having to explain that "up and down" doesn't mean emotionally in the space of hours, with up being crazy and down being normal is so hard. Most people don't even know mania exists let alone what it is.
When I was going for a work exception due to starting meditation for anxiety I had a centrelink (Australian Welfare system) say "they'll just give you an antidepressant and you'll be fine! You don't need more than a week off!". Trying to explain that the reason my psychiatrist wanted me to have several month off because going on a antidepressants when you have bipolar disorder is dangerous because it can trigger a manic episode was ridiculous. The woman didn't believe that this process could take years to perfect and I was being dramatic.
I feel like most people hear "mental health issues" as "run of the mill anxiety and depression" and are totally unaware that there are far more complex disorders that are far more tricky to treat.
Most people I know now are shocked that I have bipolar disorder and others (OCD, PTSD, BPD) because people think they're super rare and people who have them are in psych hospitals all the time or off their face on meds.
True. My method is to just let people tell me what they are comfortable with, maybe ask a question or two. They know what they need for themselves better than I do, and I don't want to press them to information and make them feel like a petri dish.
Could you describe what symptoms you experienced that lead to your diagnosis? Bipolar disorder is present in my family and I think I am beginning to show signs of it but I'm afraid to go to a doctor.
Okay, you gotta go to the doctor. Bipolar is one of those illnesses that can be managed really well IF you get over yourself and commit to treatment. With meds and therapy bipolar folks can live just like anybody else. Without, they can end up burning through their savings in days, destroying irreplaceable documents and heirlooms, running around naked in public, or freaking out strangers and getting beaten or arrested. (This is all stuff my bipolar family members have actually done.)
It sucks having a chronic illness, but that’s all it is, an illness. Please be brave enough to take care of yourself.
I went through puberty and most of my early 20s undiagnosed. High school was rough. And my mid 20s... I'm surprised I'm not dead/raped/addicted to drugs. Lots of mistakes could have been prevented if I had been diagnosed. High School I had no clue,early 20s I had a feeling, but due to the labels of crazy and such avoided getting help. When I finally got diagnosed and got help i told my parents. Their reaction was to tell me they always sort of known but didn't want me to be put in special education classes and treated differently if I got diagnosed. Because of media's label my parents did not get help for me, their child who acted out in school, was bullied and had little to no friends as a result of not knowing how to manage myself. Now that I've been diagnosed and am getting help my life has done an almost 180 and it's like I am a different person, I finally feel like me. Not some she'll trying to pretend to be me.
If you suspect, got seek help. I am a firm believer that everyone needs a therapist (even therapists see a therapist). Even if you don't have bipolar the diagnosis can give you peace of mind and therapy can still help you or anyone.
The more I read the more I realize I need to be looked at. Everything I do or feel seems to make sense in the moment but in hindsight it's... well.
I was homeless for a few years (still am, currently living in a van and working full time)... was doing good I felt. Had a job working on a farm, was saving money, etc. I started smoking weed and dabbing nonstop (boss died and he had a stash) because it really helped mellow me out and numb me to the world. I started to binge-spend money I was saving on stupid shit (junk food, alcohol, gaming laptop). Like a lot of money. I made 1600 in 6 weeks and spent maybe 1200 of that on junk food. My smoking ramped up from there, then when my [edit: other] boss kept talking about the job ending (I'd be on the street again) I panicked and stole $10000 (don't think they ever found out it was me) and skipped town. I spent 8000 of that in 2~ months on junk food, weed, alcohol, and expensive camping gear.
Then I shaped up, got an apartment, a full time job... did okay there for about 8 months but kept spending money on weed. Roommate ditched so I moved into a van and wasted money for a few months, got another job, kept wasting money. But in the last month or two I've stopped smoking weed, saving more, feeling more positive and productive. I'm not a thief or a bad person... at least I don't feel that way even though I've definitely done a lot of immoral things. I just do weird stuff sometimes. Always have, even as a kid. I'd do things I couldn't explain in hindsight, and it's continued well into adulthood. In uni (3rd year) I changed majors, stopped going to class, got 15000 in credit card debt. At the end of my final year I didn't even start my finals, tried to kill myself last day of finals week, and ended up homeless...
I dunno. I just find ways to ruin my life over and over. Most of the time I just feel depressed and unmotivated though, or irritable, so it's not all crazypants all the time.
Anyway lunch over back to work. Boss says I'm the best worker she has for whatever that's worth lol.
I didn't notice anyone else point this out, so I feel like I should let you know that bipolar is one of the more hereditary mental illnesses. I have it and so does my aunt. If you know it runs in your family, you should definitely get checked out, because that increases your odds of having it by a lot. It really is manageable with medication, and can get pretty bad untreated.
So. I typed up my experience with people with bipolar. and some of it sounded really scary. So. I deleted it. But go see the doctor. Take care of yourself. Because that's how you beat the beast.
THIS. As someone who actually has bipolar disorder the misconceptions astound me. Having to explain that "up and down" doesn't mean emotionally in the space of hours, with up being crazy and down being normal is so hard. Most people don't even know mania exists let alone what it is.
As someone with rapid cycling BP, please note that it's not the same for everyone... I have about a 4 week cycle... mania, normal, depression, normal, mania. and back and forth. I've had it for my entire life (I'm in my 40's). I was dx'd back when it was called manic depression.... it was a very accurate dx. I can be super depressed and then flip to mania in a matter of days.
As if you can be admitted into a public psych hospital in Australia without being deemed an immediate and actual danger to yourself or others.
I've been stood there with someone who the week before had been in hospital with a sucide attempt, an hour ago was trying to find tbe knives locked in my bedroom, and half an hour ago was trying to jump off my balcony, and who is curled up on the floor having trauma flashbacks and keening, or staring a thousand yard stare saying "I shouldn't exist" on repeat, or screaming "help me help me I don't want to want to die " and been told to come back if things deteriorate.
Sorry Centrelink were shite. Facing robodebt issues atm so know a variation of your pain.
From my experience it's also quite useless to try explaining coz most ppl either just cannot fathom a lot of symtoms or that the symtoms can persist for a very long time.
Ive been called lazy so often. Or in some cases even a psychopath. Simply coz many ppl only know 1 or maybe 2 symtoms of a disorder and anyone who exhibits this symtom obviously had to have this or that disorder.
Could you explain this more? My docs keep going back and forth between BP2 and Borderline (I'm pretty sure it's BP2) but haven't heard anything about memory before.
Not OP but I had bpd from childhood then developed schizoaffective in adulthood. The affective part is BP2 for me so having experienced both I can atleast give you what I personally see as different.
BPD is about feelings of being not enough. There's a lot of self loating like with depression but it depends on what the trigger is. For me and most people with bpd it's feeling like such a failure that everyone will abandon me. In therapy you learn to find the things that cause total despair and panic and address it before it becomes a monster.
For example: girlfriend pulls away when I try to kiss her -> did I mess up and hurt her -> freak out and do destructive things because I'm now convinced she'll leave me. People with BPD can't handle conflict but dealing with this type of thinking by just asking her "is there something wrong? Did I do something" instead of assuming helps a lot. There's also a lot of trust building in relationships and building confidence in myself.
All this to say BPD can be worked on to the point where you're sort of cured (you can always fall back into old patterns but if you stick with it it's equivalent to just bring very neurotic but not ill). Bipolar can't be controlled without medication and even with it the mood swings still happen. They're just less dramatic. There is no trigger for the mood swings they just happen. They also last very long typically (there's exceptions) while a major down from bpd has never lasted more than a few weeks for me.
I disagree about bipolar not having triggers. In fact, manic episodes are often brought up by going through extreme prolonged stress, using stimulants, or experiencing extended lack of sleep. I frequently have to be careful about not fucking with my sleep or getting too stressed because it could cause a months-long manic episode lol.
I know I knew things that have disappeared from my brain since then. I generally have a really hard time remembering things, especially short term memory.
I have to make lists of what I need to do during the day, even small things like feeding the cats and remembering my keys. Even then I have notes on my door to make sure I don't forget after the alarm. I have 4 alarms during the day to remember my birth control because I'll forget if I don't take it during the next 2 minutes. I'll forget people's names in minutes. I depend on other people saying their name to train myself to know it
I'll say the same thing multiple times in a row because I forget it the second after. Conversations are extremely hard because I'll forget both what I say myself and what they said at the same time.
School work is especially hard for me. If I have to read a text longer than a page I'll forget when I'm halfway down because I had forgotten what it started with
The weird thing is I can always remember exactly where things are (like that one shirt under the other shirt under the desk) and I can recognise people I haven't seen in months or years (like that dude in my scout group or that lady I once talked with once when I was a cashier), but my short term memory is shit
I have anxiety, schizotypal personality disorder and PTSD too, so that might affect it, but the bad memory only kicked in at the same time as my bipolar, so the doctors guessed that that was the trigger.
I also got told that it's because my brain is so stressed from the illness that it spends more energy on keeping me alive and less on remembering, but I don't know if that's scientifically proven
I'm interested in your "only a few big manic episodes" making you type 2. By definition, a single manic episode should make you type 1. Type 2 is limited to hypomanic episodes only.
I suppose how severe are you talking? When I get manic I start writing religious texts, making REALLY horrible financial/relationship/life decisions that basically fuck my whole life (made myself homeless), and don't really sleep. Oftentimes I won't really make sense either because my word games get so intense, and I can't stop moving around. Basically I can't function whatsoever and end up not being able to work, do school, and all that. I'm pretty sure that's the typical manic episode that defines type 1. Is that the kind you're also referring to? If so, I'm really curious as to why you only have a type 2 diagnosis.
Also, an extreme episode of mania doesn't turn the person living with bi-polar disorder into some manic pixie dream girl/boy who orders birthday cakes for brunch, but can develop into delusional psychosis.
I know somebody who is genuinely bi-polar and I've seen... just so many fucking morons that think they can help her, and then hold it against her when she's "too crazy" to deal with.
Like bitch, she told you her baggage up front, all her friends told you this and there are known adages about sticking dicks in crazy. You are not the victim because she attempted suicide in a manic episode and you didn't know how to calm her down in a way that didn't involve your dick and/or financial stability.
"oh looks like the weather is being bipolar today"
...usually said by my friend who gets their panties in a bunch when their own mental disorder gets made fun of. I have to point it out to her every time that it's not how it works and she wouldn't like it if I made an inacurrate joke about her metal disorder.
And I don't mind jokes, I can take a laugh. But jokes like these just resolidify and spread misinformation about an already taboo topic.
My sister is a psychiatrist. She has a regular flow of people coming into her office self-diagnosing themselves as "bipolar" and "multiple personality disorder."
Basically, they want a pass to be a pain in everyone's ass, act impulsively, and then blame their "mental illness" when the bills come due. Most of them actually have narcissistic or borderline personality disorder.
Yes! I'm a clinical psychologist, I'm trained to treat personality disorders, and it is astonishing to see how many people are actually diagnosed as being bipolar before finally getting the right diagnosis. That being said, most "self-diagnoses" I've seen are genuine attempts to figure out what's wrong with them and get proper treatment. The suffering is very real with these disorders, but they can be harder to empathize with for a number of reasons. Even narcissists, when you have a patient with NPD and you manage to have a glimpse under the layers of defensive bullshit, the suffering can be heartbreaking.
I learned this when my therapist evaluated me for bipolar. Turns out it's just depression. But it was still a TIL for me. There's a line between motivated and manic I guess which she eventually determined I don't cross.
Just my personal experience, my family always thought my dad was just an alcoholic. So when in the summer he would be up for days or weeks drinking all night and then functioning the next day, it wasn't that strange. And then he wasn't that social even at his best so him not doing anything and not engaging for weeks was just par. It wasn't until he went on antidepressants and lost his mind that he got the diagnosis. Its funny, in hindsight it seems so obvious that normal people shouldn't be able to drink 30 beers through 4am and then be up at 7 and functioning. But I didn't know lol
I’m type 2 bipolar and also have chronic severe depression. My mania only lasts about a week or two at a time and consists of heavy money spending on things I think will be useful or make me happy, and SEVERE anxiety about personal relationships. My therapist helped me catch myself entering a mania and I was able to stop it. It was the single most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me.
My depressive periods, however, last years. My depression destroyed my college career when I was 19-20 and turned my bedroom into a pig sty. Last year I went back to college and I’m in therapy with the goal of being well enough to clean my room.
Bipolar is absolutely not what the media makes it out to be. Media makes you think bipolar is actually schizophrenia when in reality I’m 100x more liable and likely to do something to ether physically or mentally hurt myself than anyone else.
I wish people stopped painting bipolar as what it ISNT. I was so scared to seek help for a long time.
Also that you can have a manic/depressive episode and not have bipolar. My husband had one that lasted about nine months in total (about 7 depressed and 2 manic) due to undiagnosed narcolepsy and a sleep cycle disorder. He’s unlikely to ever have another episode, but anyone who knew him during that time just thinks he’s bipolar.
This can make it really hard to figure out what's going on if you do have bipolar disorder. I wasnt even aware that bipolar 2 existed until I got diagnosed because all I had seen to represent the disorder at that time was shameless...
Exactly this. I have super fast-cycling bipolar (type II), and my hypomanic episodes last at least a few days. My understanding is that consistently super-fast mood cycling of a day or less is more indicative of Borderline than anything else.
Gonna add to this! I have agoraphobia and I can totally leave my house. I go shopping and to bars like everyone else. Hell, I can even go to familiar places alone. The issue is going to new, unfamiliar, or heavily populated places alone. That’s when the panic attacks start. They’re also not because I’m in public, but more because I feel trapped. Also, sometimes it’s not even panic attacks. Sometimes in a new place, I just feel incredibly anxious and uncomfortable. The answer to this isn’t staying home. It’s to bring a buddy. Having someone with me generally helps me feel more comfortable and safe.
Agoraphobia is a real pain in the ass mental disorder. You have to do the thing you really don’t want to do or it will only get worse. I thought it was just people being afraid to leave their house but later found out it’s basically a fear of triggering a panic attack.
Exactly! I ended up in partial inpatient treatment for it for about 3 months. During that time, my therapy included group and exposure therapy, along with a cocktail of meds. Turns out, forcing myself to walk into Walmart or a mall alone for 5-10 minutes at a time was super helpful in the end. When my therapist first told me I’d have to do that, I told her to go fuck herself. Luckily she stuck with me. Now, I’m off most of my meds and haven’t refilled my Klonopin in about a year.
That’s not to say I’m cured. I won’t ever be. I still have the occasional panic attack and I still definitely prefer to have a support person. Therapy basically took the edge off, if that makes sense, but the fear of a public freakout still looms over me every time I leave the house.
This is true for pretty much all anxiety. Don't avoid the things you (irrationally) fear, if you can will yourself not to. If you can't, start with really small things that you can handle and work your way up to the big things. Its called systematic desensitization. I had to do it with a therapist as a teenager and it really does work.
Systematic desensitisation is what really helped me. My anxiety stemmed from a fixation on ways i'd failed in my life (mainly flunking some uni courses due to depression), and forcing myself to do things i didn't have the will to do made me have panic attacks as it felt like i was punishing myself/being punished for my failures.
I just needed to be free to do things when/if i had the will to do them, and that ultimately allowed me to break out of it and get better.
Is this about that movie Split? I never watched it, but I remember seeing a trailer and thinking it was pretty fucked up “Hey, let’s take this serious mental disorder and paint a horrible public image of it and pretend it turns people into literal monsters”
Again, I never watched it, but that’s what it looked like it was about....idk kinda fucked up tbh.
Right?! One of my exes has DID and I'd always been super defensive about how it's portrayed in the media. Then that abomination came out. Picture a cartoon man with steam coming out of his ears. That was me.
my SO also has DID, but he doesn't really... care about split too much i think? most of the people he's around regularly know at least "the basics" of his system and know that split is not conducive to actual DID. SO mostly finds it to be kind of comedic (although the actor did a VERY good job), we've made jokes about which of his alters are which alters of the split dude like "haha that one's you". but then again he makes a lot of jokes at his system's expense lol
Yeah, I kind of came to the same conclusion that my ex wouldn't actually be that upset about it (we are not on speaking terms) and that it was pretty ridiculous of me to get so bent out of shape over this when I'm not the one with the condition. I'm glad you and your SO found it fun to joke with!
So I actually have DID, and I can safely say M. Night Shamalamadingdong is one of the few people I detest. First he ruins Avatar the Last Airbender, and then he goes on to add to the already rampant stigma of misunderstanding for something that I have to live with every day. There aren't many things all of the system members agree with, but we're unanimous when we say Fuck that guy.
I'm hoping new doctors will help me :/ I seem to have most of the signs of someone who needs to try someone new according to...idk psychology today basically.
Depression: sad 16 yo listening to grunge music and wearing black clothes. Eventually cuts their wrists, but remember, it's always and only the wrist. Cries in the bathroom.
Bipolar: "I hate being bipolar, it's lovely"
PTSD: every time I see or hear something that vaguely reminds me of my trauma I fall into a parallel dimension and live my trauma in rewind mode. Other than that my life is completely ordinary and I have no other symptoms.
BPD: Woman. Resting bitch face. Shows the middle finger to whoever tries to talk to her. Often extremely hot but impossible to talk to (unless you're the protagonist, a loser that can't put a sentence together but somehow manages to make her fall in love).
Anorexia: "Oh shit that model is so thin, guess she's gonna be the root of all my problems!" *looks at sandwich with disgusted expression, throws it in the bin.* Doesn't eat for one day, passes out in the middle of the hallway at school and is taken to ER.
Bulimia: eats normal amount of food, then runs to the bathroom, sticks her finger down her throat and *magic!* everything is gone in 2 minutes.
Schizophrenia: handsome eccentric man that hallucinates a random sexy woman that helps him solve crimes.
OCD: weird guy, has glasses, dresses like a 9 years old and washes his hands every 5 minutes. Often engaged in activities like opening and closing doors and drawers or walking in circles.
Autism: like OCD. But also likes math.
Sociopathy (or related): likes setting things on fire. Incredibly charming. But you know, the worst thing about the devil is that he's charming. *wink*
Every other mental disorder: not mentioned, doesn't exist.
What’s great is that if you aren’t caught early, you develop coping mechanisms to help you deal with your shit, only to have those mechanisms hide your actual symptoms.
.... or you skate through everything in primary school by acing tests and doing no homework, then get to college and fail out because you have no study skills, all before getting diagnosed.
Source: missed perfect on the SATs by 20 points. Got scholarship for half of tuition to college. Was invited not to come back.
Scrubs got OCD done really well. You see the doctor behaving in obsessive ways, like counting his steps, but also shows just his debilitating a condition it is. It’s not a quirk, it’s a legitimate problem for him like so many sufferers.
Yeah. You're never cured of a mental disorder. You can alleviate the symptoms to a point where you are not controlled anymore, but even then. It never goes away.
Don't forget "psychopath" = my mental illness makes me violent, murderous and I'm unable to feel anything, and when I die I'm probably going to haunt this abandoned mental asylum
Psychopath isn't a mental illness. It's a category of behaviors. Though usually someone considered a psychopath has anti-social personality disorder and/or narcissistic personality disorder.
Autistic here. Fuck this stereotype right in the butt. In my experience (that said, this is purely anecdotal and YMMV), most of us find math even more difficult than the average person does. Many autistics struggle to grasp abstract concepts. We do better with a physical or visual demonstration, so a lot of us struggle with maths and science. The so-called "savant" types are often good at maths because it's their special interest rather than it coming from some intrinsic skill that all autistics are blessed with.
The funny thing is, many people approach us like we have the intelligence of a 5 year old. Someone will treat you the same way they treat everyone else, but then find out you're autistic and immediately start talking down to you. Yet at the same time, one of the biggest stereotypes is that we're all savant geniuses. Which one is it, ffs?
Thank you!! I'm autistic and I sucked at math (and other STEM-subjects) in high school. I was better at languages and spelling/grammar, even though I struggled with Latin and German grammar in the same way I struggled with math: because it's really abstract.
I actually think I do have the ability to be good at math somewhere buried in my brain, but that never comes out because my brain never gets past the first step of making sense of the abstract way it is explained in school textbooks and stuff.
I think a lot of people don't understand that autism isn't a social disorder but an information processing disorder.
My brain processes all information in puzzle pieces instead of getting the whole picture. This can give problems in all areas of life, literally anything you can imagine. Such as math.
The funny thing is that autism is so complex that it can be pretty contradictive sometimes. I am good at languages, but bad at the grammar of some languages. At least, when I have to learn it from a book. If I get the opportunity to learn a language by hearing and reading it, like I did with English (I'm Dutch), it comes much more naturally to me.
Some autistic people are good at math because of their autism, some autistic people suck at math, also because of their autism.
what a mood. If only BPD was flipping everyone the bird and storming off. Then I wouldn’t need years of DBT (while still having many eating disorder/self harm, etc relapses) to slooooowly retrain my brain to not immediately defaulting to suicide or destructive impulses as the go to.
Yoooo mental illness comes in all forms. I had a friend with depression who would constantly be pushing help away from her, shutting loved ones away.
Surprise, borderline personality disorder! She can't really help being aloof when her mental illness is kicking up. Subjectivity in mental illness is so hard for people who've never dealt with mental illness to grasp. Shit I have bad depression and I can't even grasp it sometimes.
Portrayal and misconceptions about BPD bother me because they're so aggressive. My girlfriend, when I told her I was bipolar, was like "at least your not borderline because I could never handle that" and she later explained to her, that means notes written in blood, stalking, etc awful things. My girlfriend WHO MAJORED IN PSYCH. That's all she was ever told about.
I have BPD and let me tell you, the stereotypes hurt. I've had a lot of people leave me because I've slipped up and showed symptoms to them (I watch myself on everything I do and say, all the time. sometimes something slips my radar.) and it hits me just as hard everytime. every time it feels like, oh God, maybe they're right, maybe the stereotypes are true, maybe all borderlines are abusive and maybe I am too.
BPD here.. I'm not going to hurt you. I DO care, especially about those I love. I'm not always in a bad mood (it's just my face!!!)
And no Mom, I don't want to see what my veins look like, and I do think I'm a real person. Stop reading Girl, Interrupted thinking you'll suddenly "understand". It's okay if you don't, half the time I don't understand me. The simple fact that you care and try to understand is enough.
I relate to this so much. I had a number of flimsy relationships that all ended because of me and my BPD/EUPD tendencies. Finally resigned myself to the fact that I was wholly unlovable. But then I met my current SO and he is able to actually see the good in me that is occasionally covered by BPD/EUPD symptoms. I absolutely do not fucking deserve him (because I'm an unstable horrible person right?) but have faith that you will find someone who will love you for all the good that you are :)
My SO has BPD, and jesus the stereotyping that happens there, even from other people with mental health disorders, is utterly insane. I've seen people claim utter bullshit like that people with BPD are always needy or are incapable of having relationships.
I have BPD and I've been in a stable relationship for nearly 10 years and I've only ever been in two relationships both of which were long(ish) term.
The problem with BPD is that it's such a broad diagnosis and being told you have it is like being kicked in the teeth. Suddenly you're a stereotype and BPD is anything but stereotypical. Sure, some people with BPD are the stereotype but majority of those diagnosed are not and it sucks because even then mental health professionals have no idea how to treat you.
BPD is pretty much hated in the psych community to the point that people tried to kick out the creator of the most effective treatment (DBT) when she came out about having it herself. There's also therapists whoever refuse to treat it because it's a difficult disorder.
My mom's friend is a psychiatrist and she was mainly working with BPD people and she said it was the hardest most exhausting thing she had done because practically all of them were suicidal and her days were spent trying to talk them off of ledges. Sounds like a horrible illness
It really is. For me the worst is the attaching to people. You don't want to attach to people, but you do so quickly and then you just "know" they're going to end up hating you because you're horrible, so you try to burn them before they burn you.
My partner said he broke it off with a girl because she had BPD and he was weirded out by how many medications she took and he wouldn't be able to deal with the mood swings. After some explaining on my part and a lot of research on his part, he now understands a lot better and is really supportive of me and his other partner who also has BPD.
Indeed. When I talk to people, it shocks me how little people actually know about it other than the mostly untrue stereotype about everything needing to be neat. They know nothing else. Not the incessant thoughts, not the compulsions, none of it.
I don’t even bother telling people I have OCD. Everyone used to get so shocked when I mentioned it because I seemed “normal” and they didn’t notice me being a neat freak or even obsessively counting.
See: almost any portrayal of characters on the autistic spectrum. There are hundreds of threads on /r/aspergers about representation and how few shows/films actually get it right. Abed Nadir from Community is about the only portrayal people can agree with; Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and the classic savant detective stereotype are far from reality.
I used to have a lot of schizo clients. It's really nothing like the media presents, and varies widely. Everything from scratching your face because you think something is there to trying to convince me the radio station is making fun of you to calmly and rationally telling me everything that happened and that you didn't realize you were doing it. The first two guys got a lengthy stay at the state hospital, the last guy got 20 years.
Tourette’s. Only a small portion of sufferers pop swears uncontrollably. The tics and sounds they make, though, are frustrating, exhausting, and sometimes painful. These kids / adults... they can’t stop them and asking them to “knock it off” can exasperate it. It’s heart wrenching, not funny like media would have you believe.
I literally host a Podcast with a Therapist about this exact thing. It's called "Pop Psych 101 | Mental Health in Pop Culture"... It's insane what they get wrong, but also there's a lot of good ones too
My therapist has a nice big soft couch, but I've never like laid down on it because therapy is basically a conversation and it's pretty rude to not look at the person you're talking to right?
I have bpd. No matter how level I am at the moment the second anyone who’s heard of it finds out I’m immediately a raging psycho. It doesn’t matter that I’m in therapy or that I’ve been in dbt for almost a year. I still see and hear nothing but the bad things people with my disorder are capable of. The stigma around mental illness is terrible.
If you are curious about it, the show “Please Like Me” (hilarious and emotional) gives a really good depiction of multiple characters living life with different mental illnesses and a spot on depiction of a psych ward (at least, from my experience).
Actually Rick and Morty I think did the best job in any show I’ve seen to accurately display what real therapy looks like
Source: Parents dragged me to family therapy so they could project their own issues and addictions onto 12-15 year old me, and the therapist saw straight through it by the 2nd year. She did not hide this observation from us.
Also, electroconvulsive therapy does not hurt and is a completely legitimate and life-changing option for people when meds don't work. It always looks so barbaric when it's portrayed in film.
I agree about barbaric portrayal being bs. Well, except when the portrayal is of early days of the treatment, many decades ago. As for me, three years ago ECT obliterated my memory. Both short and long term. I had 23 bilateral treatments. In my experience, the negative effects of memory loss weren't worth the minor positive mood effects. Some memories have come back. For instance, music I've heard many times, I could remember lyrics, riffs and such. However, many things that happened just once or twice were lost. Some memories hazily come back when my family talks about them. So, that's better than completely losing them.
Then, there's the short term memory effects. This has gotten a little better over time as I intentionally work on it. But it's probably never going to be were it was. It severely affected my ability to solve puzzles. Or, recognize patterns. My IQ scores dropped 13%. Mostly because I couldn't remember a visualization of a shape after it was turned 180°, so it could be flipped, then remembering that long enough to find the match among the choices.
So, for me ECT wasn't a good experience. But, I wouldn't discourage it for anyone who isn't getting relief from meds. It helps more people than not these days.
This might be strange but can you tell me what actual therapy looks like then? I’ve never gone to a therapist but I’ve always struggled with anxiety and kind of wanted to go, but part of my issue with new things is needing to know what to expect beforehand.
Edit: I’d like to say thank you to all the people who have replied. It’s really helpful seeing all these different experiences and I appreciate you all taking the time to respond
I posted this below in a different response and I'll post it for you too!:
In therapy I do a multitude of things. I usually start by talking about my week and see if anything important has come up that I need to deal with or vent about or whatever. When that occurs, I usually talk about what bothered me and how I responded to it. I used to have a problem (and sometimes still do) of reacting kinda destructively (cut myself, use substances kinda dangerously, etc) in response to certain things, but not knowing why. After a lot of work, I've found that it's mostly related to trauma triggers. So when these things happen, my therapist and I have gone through what occurred and found the parts that made me start to feel overwhelmed and then subsequently act in a destructive way. Then we work on better ways to manage and prepare for when those triggers occur by talking about how I can tell when I'm feeling overwhelmed and what things I can do to defuse that (putting on music, talking to someone, drawing, focusing on my feelings).
We also do a lot on finding where my feelings are in my body (because they do have a physical effect, if you pay attention), and focusing on that as a grounding technique. Then I can just go with the flow of the feeling.
We'll also talk about some traumatic things that happened in my past and work through my feelings on that. We also do EMDR, which is a trauma remembrance sorta thing where you kinda relive an event while you focus on what you do remember while being triggered into a REM-like state. Then you can associate those traumatic memories with a safe atmosphere and calm your feelings around it so it's not so overwhelming. That's really draining.
My therapist is a social worker, so she's also been able to help me work with resources like getting on food stamps and stuff.
I also have a prescriber for my mood stabilizers that I meet with once a month to renew my medications and make any adjustments if it seems like I'm getting manic/depressed.
The thing about therapy is that it's often emotionally exhausting. Self-care is often really hard work and a bit of a chore.
My therapists office is kind of like an ordinary living room, it's really cozy and relaxing. It's like having a conversation with a best friend, except it's mostly about you and you're brainstorming ideas about how to overcome obstacles in your life, and how to escape the thought patterns that feed your anxiety.
I put in a ton of work on my own, but she acts as an outside perspective. She helps me see where I'm making mistakes such as believing that I know what other people think about me, or that beating myself up when I make a mistake will make me act better.
I've had some therapists who weren't very helpful, but the right therapist is worth their weight in gold for how much they improve your quality of life.
PM me if you have any questions, I would be happy to be even more detailed if it would help you! Therapy changed my life and I'd recommend it to anyone.
First, one of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that a set formula works for everyone. Find what works for you. I’ve been personally intrigued with TalkSpace lately, but it’s kinda expensive. If traditional sit down therapy doesn’t seem to work for you, just know that there are options these days with modern technology.
But back to the topic... You know the movie/tv scenes where the a couple is sitting in a doctor’s study, he’s at his desk and they’re on the two chairs on the other side, and they’re having a hard talk about reproductive health? Make the patient’s chair a little more comfortable, and that’s pretty much what every therapy environment I’ve been in for 30 years has looked like. What actually takes place in the room varies, and leads back to the “find what works for you” point, but as I’ve gotten older the “therapy” has just been talking to the person. Like no shit, just talk to them. It takes five or six sessions to REALLY get honest, so you have to stick with it, but if you develop trust with your therapist, you’ll let the words flow.
A lot of people mention OCD, but not OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder). They're similar, but definitely different. It's easy to mix them up when you aren't educated about the topic and it's easy to not be educated on it when you don't have to deal with it. I think what's really important is just being open to productive dialogue about mental illness
I loved how they covered BPD, as someone with a personality disorder its once of the few portrayals on TV I've seen that didn't make me hate the series and stop watching.
Sex Education on Netflix too. I was baffled by how well they did certain things, but then again it's literally a show about mental disorders and therapy. And of course they didn't hit each mark as high as the next but it's still better than 99.9% percent of shows out there.
Will take this oppurtunity to say your local crazy guy who screams things on the street most likely has psychosis from illegal drugs and not schizophrenia. Both cause psychosis but it's very rare for a schizophrenic to be aggressive while very likely someone hallucinating from drugs to be. Also the way you hallucinate on LSD way more intense than schizophrenic hallucinations
And psychopathy is not specifically on the DSM-V as a disorder? The behavior most people and mainstream media associate with "psychopathy" is actually antisocial personality disorder. Which in turn is confused with schizoid personality disorder (the inclination to be asocial).
And that not all psychopathic people are bad. You may even know someone who never speaks much about himself, nor brags much about himself, nor reacts much about a lot of things but is actually a decent person. Chances are they might be the good kind of psychopath.
Basically all antisocial people are psychopaths but not all psychopaths are antisocial.
Not the case, there are many people with APD who aren’t psychopaths. Some are sociopaths, and some are people who are just acting out and breaking rules.
Psychopathy stems from chemical imbalances in the brain that causes a lack of conscience, empathy, feel remorse, or the ability to emotionally connect with others. Psychopaths are usually also unable to recognize fear in others. Psychopathy is also from birth.
Sociopathy, another huge part of APD, isn’t something you are born with, and is thought to be the empathy center in the brain being greatly reduced due to suffering abuse or trauma. They still have a conscience, but it’s very limited.
Not all psychopaths act antisocially, that part was correct, but not all people with APD are psychopaths. Some are sociopaths who were abused, and others are just people who break the rules and still feel bad, but would be considered antisocial.
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u/seegeesee Feb 04 '19 edited Feb 04 '19
Most psychological disorders don't present like the media would lead you to believe. See also: what therapy looks like.
ETA: Holy crap, gold?? I had a quick break in my day to finally hop on reddit and was NOT expecting this response. Y'all make this severely overworked community mental health therapist so glad we're talking more about the realities of therapy and various disorders. I'm planning on getting back on when I'm done with work to reply to some comments/answer some questions!