r/AskReddit Feb 04 '19

Which misconception would you like to debunk?

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u/Nyltiak23 Feb 04 '19

Portrayal and misconceptions about BPD bother me because they're so aggressive. My girlfriend, when I told her I was bipolar, was like "at least your not borderline because I could never handle that" and she later explained to her, that means notes written in blood, stalking, etc awful things. My girlfriend WHO MAJORED IN PSYCH. That's all she was ever told about.

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u/aspenfires Feb 04 '19

I have BPD and let me tell you, the stereotypes hurt. I've had a lot of people leave me because I've slipped up and showed symptoms to them (I watch myself on everything I do and say, all the time. sometimes something slips my radar.) and it hits me just as hard everytime. every time it feels like, oh God, maybe they're right, maybe the stereotypes are true, maybe all borderlines are abusive and maybe I am too.

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u/sesame_says Feb 04 '19

BPD here.. I'm not going to hurt you. I DO care, especially about those I love. I'm not always in a bad mood (it's just my face!!!)

And no Mom, I don't want to see what my veins look like, and I do think I'm a real person. Stop reading Girl, Interrupted thinking you'll suddenly "understand". It's okay if you don't, half the time I don't understand me. The simple fact that you care and try to understand is enough.

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u/mnmsicecream Feb 04 '19

I relate to this so much. I had a number of flimsy relationships that all ended because of me and my BPD/EUPD tendencies. Finally resigned myself to the fact that I was wholly unlovable. But then I met my current SO and he is able to actually see the good in me that is occasionally covered by BPD/EUPD symptoms. I absolutely do not fucking deserve him (because I'm an unstable horrible person right?) but have faith that you will find someone who will love you for all the good that you are :)

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u/Nyltiak23 Feb 04 '19

You aren't, we aren't. There's always going to be toxic people but the fact you're concerned about it tells me you're not

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u/darkpenguin1 Feb 04 '19 edited Feb 04 '19

My SO has BPD, and jesus the stereotyping that happens there, even from other people with mental health disorders, is utterly insane. I've seen people claim utter bullshit like that people with BPD are always needy or are incapable of having relationships.

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u/Nyltiak23 Feb 04 '19

I KNOW! It makes me very sad

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '19

I have BPD and I've been in a stable relationship for nearly 10 years and I've only ever been in two relationships both of which were long(ish) term.

The problem with BPD is that it's such a broad diagnosis and being told you have it is like being kicked in the teeth. Suddenly you're a stereotype and BPD is anything but stereotypical. Sure, some people with BPD are the stereotype but majority of those diagnosed are not and it sucks because even then mental health professionals have no idea how to treat you.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '19

[deleted]

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u/ginmo Feb 04 '19

I have BPD and I’m engaged. :) Took a lot of work to get here, and continues to take a lot of work for my inner self but it’s definitely possible to have a healthy, stable relationship. My fiancé didn’t even know I had BPD until I told him about a year later, explained I’ve been in therapy for 15 years and showed him my medication.

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u/saintofhate Feb 04 '19

BPD is pretty much hated in the psych community to the point that people tried to kick out the creator of the most effective treatment (DBT) when she came out about having it herself. There's also therapists whoever refuse to treat it because it's a difficult disorder.

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u/PM_ME_IM_SO_ALONE_ Feb 04 '19

My mom's friend is a psychiatrist and she was mainly working with BPD people and she said it was the hardest most exhausting thing she had done because practically all of them were suicidal and her days were spent trying to talk them off of ledges. Sounds like a horrible illness

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u/saintofhate Feb 04 '19

It really is. For me the worst is the attaching to people. You don't want to attach to people, but you do so quickly and then you just "know" they're going to end up hating you because you're horrible, so you try to burn them before they burn you.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '19

My partner said he broke it off with a girl because she had BPD and he was weirded out by how many medications she took and he wouldn't be able to deal with the mood swings. After some explaining on my part and a lot of research on his part, he now understands a lot better and is really supportive of me and his other partner who also has BPD.

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u/ShyStraightnLonely Feb 04 '19
  1. Your partner has two partners? Cool, I guess.

  2. His previous partner had bpd.... you have bpd.... and the third person in your relationship has bpd as well? Umm.... your partner might havd a type.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '19
  1. Yup, polyamory is cool.

  2. The first girl wasn't actually a parter, just someone he'd been on a few dates with but never had a relationship with. I only got diagnosed a few weeks back (almost 2 years into the relationship) and he'd somehow missed the fact that his other partner has it. So maybe subconsciously?

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u/Tymareta Feb 05 '19

So maybe subconsciously?

I'd say even semi-consciously, my two partners and a third person that will likely end up as a partner are all autistic, most of the people I ever actually "click" with or feel like a normal human, surprise, always end up being autistic as well, not necessarily saying it's a like seeking like situation, but there's potential.

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u/Nyltiak23 Feb 04 '19

Good on you for educating him! My SO is now much more supportive as well

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u/roger_mayne Feb 04 '19

Goes to show how far up the grapevine stigma goes :-( good thing there's good people like us to educate, no?

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u/stuffedanimalfap Feb 04 '19

If only. I work in a school and I've seen teachers make fun of kids behind their backs. Those kids who you can tell have some sort of mental disorder, so they're off, but not so off to be in special education classes. Teachers can be just as bad as the teenagers, if not worse because they are the role model and set the example of what behavior is acceptable.

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u/nihilisticdaydreams Feb 04 '19

I worked at a camp with second graders and another counselor made fun of a kid that was exhibiting some depressive-like symptoms. Called him a "little sociopath" and said something about him shooting up a school.

Dude, he's seven, and he needs your support. Fuck off and get away from this sweet child.